The Weary Heart
by SalaciousNothings
Summary: Peeta Mellark returned home to District 12, broken and alone. The Capitol made him both victor & villian, while the rebellion abandoned and used him for their cause. With body and mind forever damaged, it is his heart and soul that remain untouched. Peeta struggles to find himself again, not knowing who to trust. Can true love heal the Boy with the Bread? Or is he lost forever. OOC
1. Chapter 1 - Going Home

Chapter One - Going Home

The sun was beaming in the sky. I was walking in a green meadow far away from the bakery. It was both exciting and scary wandering into a place unknown to me. I had never wandered too far from town. District 12 was destroyed but the surrounding areas remained untouched by the bombs. The town was now being rebuilt. I understood why Katniss felt the need to seek safety alone in the woods. It was peaceful.

_'I can do this,'_ I mentally chided to myself for the apprehension I felt walking alone. A knife was sheathed in my belt just in case I met up with some wild life that still lived in the woods. I felt uneasy with the thought of killing again even if it was an animal that was out hunting for food. I was done with killing and death. I heard some twigs break to my left. I jumped startling myself then I laughed to ease my anxiety. I took a deep breath and continued on my trek. If Katniss can roam into the woods with bow in hand, I encouraged myself to do the same.

With a bag of cheese buns in my hand, I continued to walk further. I wanted to surprise her. Then, from the corner of my eye I see her, seated on a large rock at the edge of a meadow. She hadn't noticed me so I watched her for a moment.

'_Beautiful and deadly,'_ the words formed in my head and I shook it off just as fast. She was gazing into nothing particular in front of her. I called out to her. She turned to me with a scowl on her face. I waved my hand. Climbing off the rock she turned to me. I walked towards her when my left leg sank into the soft ground, reminding me of my prosthetic leg. One of the many souvenirs I had acquired from two Hunger Games and the Rebellion. As I approached Katniss, she lifted her arm and pointed her bow, an arrow ready to fire at me.

"Katniss, it's me, Peeta," my voice hitched. My eyes bulged as she continued to point her bow at me. Sweat dripped from my brow whether it was from the sun beating down on me or from confusion and fear. "What's wrong?" I asked her.

She didn't acknowledge me but pulled her arrow back. Her hands were steady. "Katniss?"

I felt my throat tighten and my eyes started to blur. _'Not real, not real,'_ I chanted in my head. I extended my hand with the bag in front of me, showing that I was unarmed. I looked into her gray eyes. They were blank and unreadable. Seconds later, I heard a thump and a crunching sound. I felt pressure building on my chest. I looked down realizing that an arrow and the brown bag was lodged in front of my shirt dripping with blood. I couldn't feels my legs as I fell onto my knees. _'Not real, not real,'_ I screamed in my head as if it was about to explode. The world turned dark.

I woke up gasping hard. I looked down my bare chest feeling my heart racing fast; my heartbeat drumming my in ears and my vision blurred. Sweat beaded my chest and face. I looked beside me to reach for Katniss and realized she wasn't there. I reminded myself that I was in train, alone in my compartment. I waited a few minutes for my heart and breathe to calm down. I pulled myself up into a sitting position. It is night. I turned to my left at a window and gazed up at the moon above me. _'I'm going home'_ the thought popped in my head. After months of taking test after test to clear the venom in my body, Dr. Aurelius declared me stable enough to be released from the capital hospital.

"I'm going home," I whispered, repeating the words as if I'm trying convince myself that it was real and not a dream. Then I remembered the dream that interrupted my sleep. As many thoughts crowded my head, there's only one word that stuck out. Home. The thought weighed heavy in my mind. The reality struck me like lightning. After months of anticipating this moment, I couldn't figure out what I was feeling. Not of joy or happiness. I never felt so alone in my entire life. "I am Peeta Mellark, I am a Victor and a survivor." I say to myself as the train lead me back to District 12.


	2. Chapter 2 - The Cost of Freedom

Chapter 2 – The Cost of Freedom

_**There will be several POVs from other characters. Katniss and Peeta's will be the main POV's. **_

**Haymitch POV**

Standing at a busy platform, the train was half an hour late or so I guessed. I turned to the clock at the train station and realized it was in need of repair. Its' face cracked, glass blurred from weather and years of wear and tear. I no longer wore a watch since I had a habit of losing it. I thought of investing a new watch, to commemorate the new era of free Panem. New watch, new times and new beginnings. Then I thought better of it. It wasn't as if I had places to go and people to see.

Bile rose from my throat as I hear the distinct sound of the New Panem Rail horn in the distance. I didn't mind waiting for the train since it would deliver my weekly libations of alcohol; my remedy to cure all ills and evils. This delivery, however, was not one what I looked forward to. I remembered the day I received a phone call two days earlier. I wondered for months when this would happen or if it would ever happen. I shouldn't have underestimated the Boy with the Bread for HE was coming home.

_**Flashback, two days earlier – **_

After slamming the phone on the table, I left the comfort of my home, semi sober and body aching from waking up on my kitchen floor. I felt sick as my eyes burned, my mouth dry and my head ready to explode. I looked down to make sure that I was at least dressed, complete with pants, shirt and shoes with no socks. I had walked out naked on night, waking up in my backyard not knowing how I got there or my state of undress. My walk to Katniss' home felt long though it was a mere 30 yards away. I needed to talk to her. Dr. Aurelius had been trying to contact her for weeks without success. He needed to let Katniss know that Peeta Mellark was coming back to District 12. He then, informed me that it was my responsibility to pass on the news since Katniss refused to pick up her phone. Yet again, the games are done, the rebellion is over and still I felt as if I have never been relieved from my mentor's mantle.

Katniss was released and sent home to District 12 eight months prior. The first few months she didn't eat, sleep or take care of herself. It took hours of yelling on my part, and patience and determination for Greasy Sae as she and I watched over her making sure she ate her meals, cleaned herself and left the shelter of her home. She became a recluse, never leaving her house. It took an incident with Greasy Sae's granddaughter, Tamryn to leave her home.

One day, Katniss heard a scream outside her door; peering out a window she watched as Tamryn paralyzed in fear, encounter a wild dog approaching her. His bloody teeth bared and eyes narrow, ready to pounce on her. With hunter's reflex, Katniss picked up her bow, ran out the door and shot the wild dog in the eye before it could reach the crying child. Mere seconds later, Katniss picked up Tamryn and brought her to her home. Tamryn was still crying in her arms as Greasy Sae arrived moments later, scared and angry when she realized that her six-year-old granddaughter had decided to visit Katniss on her own. It was that one incident that gave Katniss the courage and strength to visit her woods and town. However, the incident also caused Katniss' nightmares to worsen.

At night I would hear her screams and moans echoing in her home. The first night I tried to comfort her, she kicked and screamed at me to leave her alone. The last attempt for comfort, I came home with scratches on my arms and a black eye. She had apologized days later. After that night, she learned to lock her doors. Some days Greasy Sae would tell me how she is doing fine. Other times, she would find her hiding or sleeping in her closet, clutching a pillow and wrapped tight with a blanket around her. I didn't know how Katniss would react to the news. She had never spoken or asked for Peeta in the time she had returned home.

I knocked on her door, banging the wood a few seconds later. I knew she was home since she had left me a rabbit on my kitchen table early that morning. What I was going to do with it I don't know. As I was about to turn around and leave I heard the latch on her lock click. She opened her door leaving a crevice so I can only see her face.

"Hey, I need to talk to you."

"What do you want Haymitch? I don't have any alcohol here if that's what you looking for,'' she snickered. "Sheesh, take a bath before coming over here." She placed the back of her right hand in front of her nose.

"I wouldn't be here if you would just picked your phone. So before you slam the door on my face and make snide comments about my hygiene, I have news from the capitol I have to tell you."

She looked at me, confused then her eyes widen. She opened her door wider. "What is it?" Katniss asked, her hands clutched at her sides.

"Peeta is coming home." Without further ado, she slammed the door on my face. _'Well at least she didn't kill the messenger,'_ I snickered. I turned around, walked straight home and opened a new liquor bottle. Before taking a long swig, I toasted to myself. "The odds are never in our favor."

_**Present time – **_

Before I knew it the train stopped in front of me. A few people disembarked. I searched around to look for Peeta. Seconds later I see him. He no longer looked like the boy I knew. His hair was cropped too long; his face drawn and dark purplish bags under his dull eyes. He lost a lot of weight. Whatever muscle mass he had was gone. He looked lost and frightened. This boy I see was not Capitol Peeta, a killer who was tortured and hijacked. He was someone I didn't recognize. When his eyes caught mine, he looked down and away. I walked towards him. I didn't know whether I should shake his hand or hug him; he looked frail and uneasy. Whatever I imagined of this reunion, this was not what I expected.

"Hey, Peeta, how was you ride back?" I grimaced realizing how lame I was for asking.

He shrugged his shoulders, "Okay." His voice was soft, a whisper.

"You look beat. Why don't I walk you back to your house? Do you have any bags we should get?"

Peeta shook his head and adjusted the duffle bag on his shoulder. "This is it," he said and started to walk off.

The walk back to the Victor's Village was one of silence and awkwardness. I could tell that Peeta was struggling with his left leg. I wondered if the bag he was carrying was heavy. It didn't look full but flat and light. It wasn't as if he had lots of clothing options. Gray hospital gown was not the fashion these days. As soon as we reached the village his pace quickened. "You didn't have to meet me at the station, Haymitch. I would have made it on my own," Peeta said.

"It's no problem, kid. I wanted to see you," I returned. Peeta looked at me gauging to see if I was lying to him. Once we were inside the village I was surprised that Peeta walked straight to his door. "Hey, Peet." I walked next to him his hand on the doorknob. "Look I know you just got back so…"

Peeta looked back at me. His eyes were blank. In all the times I known him, I have never seen that look in his eyes. Dead, lifeless. It reminded me of myself when I returned from the games.

"Listen, it's been a while since you've seen her. It's best that you let her get used to you being back before you see her," I stumbled with my words. If I know Peeta, he would be at her doorstep if I weren't accompanying him back to his house. "She missed you. We all have, but try to give it a couple of days before…"

Before I could finish, Peeta turned around and slammed the door. Sighing to myself, I left his porch and walked to my home. Glancing at Katniss' house, I noticed one of the curtains moved.

I am too old to be babysitting Katniss and Peeta. But what else can I do. I was riddled with guilt for I had lied and manipulated them since we've met. In the games, it became my job to help them survive but in life I was ill equipped to advise them how to live afterwards. I am the worst example and role model. For many years I drank myself to oblivion for the guilt I felt not being able to save my tributes. The odds to save one were never in my favor, but it was a miracle to have saved them both. But in reality, it was both Katniss and Peeta who had saved themselves. My mentoring was only for the games but outside the arena, I was hopeless. How do I ask them to fight, to live and move on if could not do the same? I had hoped that once the war was over they find each other again. They fought to stay alive together, they sought to die for each other but in the end they lost each other.

To save Panem I sacrificed their lives, their families' lives, their hopes and dreams. Was it worth it? Panem's liberty is owed to two young kids from District 12; the girl with the bow and the boy with the bread. They are free and alive, but at what cost. It would have been better if they had not survived. I grasped another bottle off my counter. We are free but we are alone; shattered and broken. This is the cost of freedom, blood on our hands and souls shattered. The war for freedom is over but it is the battle of day to day living that had just begun.


	3. Chapter 3 - Alone and Abandoned

Chapter 3 – Alone and Abandoned

_**AN: I want to thank those people who have reviewed, favored or is following my story. I hope that you will hang on because it will be a bumpy and angsty ride. Thanks again. Will update every chance I get. Next update will be Peeta. So without much further ado…**_

**Katniss POV**

I've been sitting by my window watching the sun appear against the horizon. It's been hours since I've been up awakened by a nightmare. They're all the same – Finnick is killed by mutts in the Capitol while Prim is burned alive from the bombs. I miss Prim so much that there I days that I am incapable of getting out of bed. I had fought to keep her alive from the games, but in the end it was all for naught. I had lost her anyway. She was all I had since my mother gave up on us at an early age. As for my mother she again has abandoned me and never returned to District 12. I am alone. I even cried when I realized that Buttercup didn't survive the bombings. Prim's dumb, stupid cat.

Days after Coin's assassination and Prim's death, I just wanted to die. I went through the first stage of my grief with denial and isolation. I saw no one but Haymitch, Dr. Aurelius and his hospital staff. I was so drugged up that I never knew where I was and what had happened after the rebellion. I didn't care anymore. My beloved sister was dead, Peeta was forever lost and my best friend, Gale became a mass murderer.

Hours turned to days, days to weeks that I didn't know what month it was when Dr. Aurelius handed me to Haymitch as we boarded the train back to District 12. The months after my return are a blur. It took an incident with Greasy Sae's granddaughter, Tamryn to bring me back to reality. I had saved her life but soon after my hands shook as I realized that I had a bow in my hand after killing the wild dog. It was instinctual when I saw her in danger. I still have not touched the bow since then. When I first returned home, I lapsed into nightmarish sleep and always woke up exhausted and not being able to go back to sleep. Now, my dreams more are vivid, in full color that they forever etched into my mind as if I am watching the arena games with Prim, Finnick and Peeta as stars of a show. There has never been one night when I didn't have a nightmare.

My dreams of Prim also consisted of her walking into a wall of fire. I stood yelling for her to stop as the fire burned her alive. She screamed at me to save her. After that dream, my grief turned to anger. Why was Prim there at the Capitol? I had made efforts to ensure her safety and she willingly went out to the field of fire. Why couldn't she just stay safe away from the destruction and in harms way. My anger was illogical but it was how I coped.

There is also one dream that visits me several times during my slumber. It haunts me long after I have awakened. It is Peeta being tortured over and over. He's calling out to me to save him. In my dreams, I saved him but it is too late. He is disfigured and mutilated. He screams at me to kill him and end his life that is forever trapped with memories of his torture. I stared out across the street at Peeta's bedroom. His window closed and curtains shut. I know for a fact that he likes to sleep with his window open, letting fresh air into his room. I thought about him so often since his arrival a month ago. He has never approached me. I don't know if I am relieved or disappointed. Then I reminded myself that he is not the Peeta I knew before the Games.

We didn't share many private moments together but I do recall little things about him that had endeared him to me. He always double knotted his shoelace, his favorite color is sunset orange and he loved his mother even though she had beaten him for most of his life. His golden locks would curl when it reached a certain length. His eyes so blue that they reminded me of cornflowers that grew in the meadows of District 12. But the boy I see now is thin and gaunt, his strong arms that once comforted me after a nightmare are rail thin. His voice so soft and soothing that it would reach me in the middle of a bad dream, is silent. I miss the Boy with the Bread. I wish that I had never taken his loving nature for granted.

It was that one thing that set him different from any boy I've ever met. Peeta was loving, gentle and patient. It is no wonder that he wasn't bitter and distrustful from the treatment he had received from his mother. Gale was all fire and anger. His desperation for survival and freedom tainted his views on anything good. He hated the merchants and he hated things all Capitol. Hate kept Gale alive, while Peeta fought for love. Gale would not have nurtured a healthy friendship with Finnick had he survived. An angry fire will always burn inside him. I don't think about him often. It hurts thinking about him. He was my friend, the boy that was my hunting companion. We had saved each other over the years. I had counted on him to watch my back. Those days are over.

I hear a crash across the street at Peeta's house. Days after his return I would sometimes hear things breaking. I do not have the courage to seek him out. It's not that I am afraid of him; I'm just not ready to see him. Haymitch and Thom are the only people that have seen or talked to him. Haymitch informed me that Peeta was stable enough to return home. The venom is still in his system. His episodes are triggered if Peeta's mind is compromised by too much stress. I know that Peeta will never be the same, but then am I the same as well. The games had changed us but it was the rebellion that broke us. We lost so much. I am no longer Katniss Everdeen, the girl who had survived the Hunger Games. I am the former Mockingjay, the girl on fire that ignited a nation to fight against the Capitol. I fought for freedom from the Capitol and losing Prim and Peeta was my reward.

I don't know how long I stayed staring out of my window when I hear my front door open. Greasy Sae and Tamryn always arrive early to make the first meal of the day. It was a routine that I accepted with much gratitude. I don't know what I would have done without her and Haymitch's intervention. I dragged myself away from the window and proceeded to head down the stairs when I hear Greasy Sae and Tamryn talking.

"Grandma, can I go to see Peeta now and give him my drawing?" Tamryn said. I stopped at the top of the stairs. I wasn't aware that they were interacting with Peeta.

"Tammy, Peeta might not be awake yet. Why don't you wait until after breakfast?" Greasy Sae returned. "Besides, you saw him yesterday. We don't want to bother him too much. He has things to do."

"I know, but he told me if I wanted to, I can help him in his garden. He's planting my favorite flowers today. He planting daisies," Tamryn gushed. "I love daisies. They're my favorite. Like the blues, oh and yellow ones too, I don't like the white ones. I hope he plant pinks ones, I love pink."

"Okay, sweetie, but after breakfast. We need to take care of Katniss first," Greasy Sae reminded her. "Remember, don't talk about Peeta when you see Katniss. It's makes her very sad when we talk about him. We don't want to make Katniss sad, okay?"

"Okay, Grandma." Tamryn agreed.

I stood paralyzed for a moment. Was I oblivious to my surroundings that I didn't even realize that Greasy Saw was also taking care of Peeta? Haymitch started to get worried when he didn't leave his house for a week. It was not like Peeta to stay away from any social interaction. We had a brief encounter after his arrival. I caught him walking out his house one morning as I was on my way to see Haymitch. He glanced up at me for a second, then turned his face away and walked towards town. Other times, I would catch him clearing the underbrush and weeds that grew wild outside his home. For a week he worked around his house digging and planting annuals. On delivery days he would disappear very early in the morning, coming back with a cart full of green plants and shrubbery. He worked all day shoveling, planting and watering his plants. Last week, his house was repainted a soft yellow offsetting the gray color that dominated the other Victor's homes. He kept busy while I hid in the shadows staring at him through my curtains like a creepy stalker. It is time like this that I see the Peeta I remembered, the Boy with the Bread.

After recovering from the shock, I walked down the stairs and was greeted by Tamryn who launched her little body into mine, hugging my legs. "Good morning, Katniss. You want to see the picture I drew? Do you have a favorite flower? Tamryn started.

"Tammy girl, why don't you let Katniss have breakfast first?" Greasy Sae apologized. She looked at her granddaughter and said, "Remember what I said." Her brow lifted. Tamryn shrugged her shoulders. "Sorry, Grandma."

"It's okay. Let me get a cup of tea, Tamryn. Then, I'll look at your picture and tell what my favorite flower is." I returned. I tried to smile back at the little girl.

Hours later, Greasy Sae and Tamryn leave my home. I am exhausted from the lack of sleep and Tamryn's unwavering energy. I truly adore the child but cannot keep up with her exuberant personality. She reminded of me Delly. I miss Delly and wonder how she is doing. I lost all contact with everyone I knew back in District 13. Any communication I received since returning, I ignored. Seeing any of them at this time, would only remind me of Prim and Peeta. The memories are just too painful. I decided to visit Haymitch. He made a habit of visiting often. He would arrive half sober but concerned, only staying for a few minutes checking up on me. It's been a few days since his last visit. I raced to his door and burst in. I'm surprised to find the place clean and organized. I had expected his house to be in disarray and him passed out on the floor somewhere.

"Haymitch," I called out. I am met with silence. I go straight to the kitchen. On a counter is a vase filled with dandelions. Haymitch is nowhere in sight. The kitchen is immaculate. I hear footsteps at the front of the house. Haymitch walked in surprised by my presence in his home.

"Hello, sweetheart. What are you doing here?" he snickered. He dressed in a pair of dark brown pants and light blue button down shirt, clean and pressed. His face shaved and hair combed. I was impressed by his transformation. When did all these changes happen? I was about to make a comment about his physical improvements when he grabbed a bottle of liquor and proceeded to take a long swig in front of me.

"I was going to ask what happened to you, you look great but…" I smirked as he wiped his mouth with his sleeve.

"Don't start with me, I've had a long day already," he interrupted as he sat down on his armchair and belched.

"What do you mean? It's only eleven in the morning. What have you been doing to get you started with that?" I pointed at the bottle in his hand.

He looked at me, his blue eyes sad and drawn. He exhaled, "I just dropped Peeta at the train station." In an instant, I clutched my chest, my breath labored as I struggled to breathe. I felt a sense of déjà vu. He continued, "He's gone back to the Capitol."


	4. Chapter 4 - The Odds Are Never In My Fav

Chapter 4 – The Odds We're Never In My Favor

I woke up face down with drool pooling from my mouth. A month ago, the moment I closed the door on Haymitch I dropped my bag on the floor and sat down on my sofa. I had only meant to close my eyes for a second since the walk from the train station exhausted me. I was out of shape and tired from the lack of sleep. Hours later, I woke up in the dark, forgetting where I was and how I got there. After adjusting my eyes, I reached over to turn on a lamp. Miscalculating the distance, I brushed the lamp with my hand that it crashed on the floor. The sound startled me. Looking around my home, it didn't seem real. I had expected to wake up in my hospital room at the Capitol, staring at the walls I had painted over the months during my treatments.

Now weeks later, I found myself in the same position waking up in my living room. I had not been able to sleep on my bed since my arrival. I think back to the first few days after my return. I didn't leave the house and I saw no one. Days later, Haymitch visited me along with Greasy Sae.

_**Flashback, three weeks prior –**_

I felt someone prodding my shoulder, waking me up from my sleep. Panicking, I grabbed the hand and twisted. "Shit, Peeta, it's me Haymitch. Let go!" he yelled. After a few seconds my mind cleared and I released his hand. Haymitch walked over to the opposite side of the sofa and sat down. I then realized that someone else was standing in the middle of my living room.

"Hey, kid. You remember Greasy Sae." He said nodding at her when he saw me staring. She stood a few feet away. She carried two brown bags in her arms. I blinked my eyes for a few seconds making sure she was there in front of me. I sometimes woke up during the middle of my slumber seeing Finnick and Prim hovering above me. Dr. Aurelius told me that they were delusions from the guilt I felt from surviving the war. Survivor's guilt was what he called it. Finnick was an ally who became my friend while Prim represented the life I once had back in District 12. A time before the reaping when I was whole, not physically disfigured and mentally battered from my experience in the last two years.

I nodded not feeling my tongue as I tried to form words from my mouth. "Good, because you will be getting daily visits from her to help you get food in you. I haven't seen you leave the house in days. I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine, Haymitch." I whined as I placed my right arm over my eyes. I didn't appreciate the intrusion and just wanted to be left alone.

"No, you're not. I haven't seen leave the house. What's going in here?" he pointed. I cleared the furniture, coffee table placed to one side of the room, leaving the large sofa in the middle. The rugs rolled up, the fixtures and paintings wrapped. "What's with the new décor?" I shrugged my shoulders not giving him an answer. "Uh, you're not thinking of leaving, are you?" his voice hitched. I continued to ignore him as my vision started to blur. "Hey, Peet, answer me."

I don't know how much time passed when I realize that Greasy Saw had left the room and Haymitch hovered above me. "You okay, kid? Do you need me to call a doctor?" he asked.

"Sorry, Haymitch, I felt queasy for a moment," I answered.

"Well, that's understandable since you don't have any food or water in the house. What have you been living on since you got back?" Greasy Sae chimed in as she walked back into the room. Her face was etched with concern and sadness.

"Thom came by. He brought a case of those protein health drinks after he saw the condition of my icebox. It's all I can handle. I can't stomach any solids since returning from the hospital," I said as nausea rose from my belly.

"That's not enough. Why don't I fix you a bowl of soup, it'll go easy on a empty stomach," Greasy Sae added. I shook my head, the thought of food and the smell made my stomach lurch. "You should eat, Peeta. You can't live on protein drinks alone," she recounted. I didn't realize how close she approached me when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I flinched but stayed still. The gentle touch was foreign to me. I closed my eyes and gritted my teeth from the kind gesture. She left the room heading towards my kitchen.

"Well, Peeta while she's making the soup why don't you head upstairs and get a shower or bath. I'm going to make a couple of calls and see if I can get Thom to get some real food in your house," Haymitch mentioned.

I glared at him sideways not appreciating him taking over my life. Mentoring during the games was one thing but invading my personal space and time, I resented. "Your job's done, Haymitch. The rebellion is over, just stop pretending you care about me," I said.

He looked shocked and hurt. "Go take care of Katniss, she probably needs you more than I do." I was so tired of the secrets and lies. I was tired of being a pawn for the Capitol and the Rebellion. I needed to regain control of my life. Being with Haymitch reminded me of how easy I was fooled into playing into everyone's games.

"I'm just not your former Mentor, I'm your friend, at least I like to think I am," he alleged.

"Friends don't keep secrets from you, nor do they lie to you or abandon you. And that's all you've done since we've met. So no, you're not my friend, you're just a fellow victor," I returned. It was a bitter pill to swallow but it was the truth.

He stood up, speechless. "Listen, I understand now that Katniss was your main concern. She was the Mockingjay after all. No one else mattered. I was just another soldier in your rebellion. A chess piece in your games. The war is over and you've won. You've done your part," I added.

"Whatever you thought of me, I've tried my best at the time. But now, I'll be here, no matter what," Haymitch voiced in soft whisper. "I failed you before, I won't let it happen again."

"Don't make promises you don't intend to keep. It just makes a bigger liar out of you," I said as I stood up and left the room.

_**Present time –**_

That was three weeks ago. Haymitch visited every other day to make sure I ate my meals and cleaned myself up. His visits are awkward and uncomfortable. Greasy Sae never failed to arrive every morning to make breakfast and never leaving until after lunch. She would arrive right after her visit with Katniss since she was an earlier riser.

After one day of just sitting around in my house doing nothing, I decided to find an activity that would relieve my mind from the nightmares. I called Thom and asked him to pick up a few garden supplies. My home needed improvements after months of neglect. As I waited for those supplies to arrive, I decided to pack anything that was related to the Capitol, which decorated my entire home. That meant everything from end tables, bedroom sets, and any stick of furniture brought in from the Capitol. Johanna mailed me a catalog of furniture built in her district. New furniture created not by the Capitol was purchased and delivered within a few weeks. The old furniture I donated to Benj, a former District Seven citizen who decided to set up a furniture store in the newly built District 12. It was a fresh start for him since he had lost his sons during the rebellion. His wife long dead from an illness. Thom hired a few guys to repaint the exterior of my home since I didn't have the stomach to pick up a brush. I needed to remove all reminders and souvenirs from the games that meant furniture, fixtures, paintings, rugs and any paintings I did before the Quarter Quell.

The one item I couldn't pack was the Capitol's viewing monitor. All Victor homes had one installed permanently in the viewing room. The sound and picture would turn on when the Capitol had an announcement or during the games. For hours I couldn't figure out how to remove the monstrosity from the room. I had to climb up my roof and disconnect the wireless feed on the satellite dish.

The next step was landscaping around my home. It took a week of digging, planting, and watering the new plants I ordered from the new nursery in town. I plan to start an herbal garden as soon as the weather permits for certain plants and herbs seeds to be available. I sketched out a fire pit I would install. My mind raced with all the designing and plans to redecorate and exorcise my home from my old life. I wanted a new start; I needed it.

A couple of days later, Greasy Sae asked if I was interested in rebuilding the bakery. I closed down and couldn't eat for days. I try not to think about the bakery that was destroyed from the bombing. I didn't have the courage to visit the ruins of my family business and home. I imagined my family, their bodies buried underneath the rubble. With these thoughts, I started to have nightmare about them, calling for me to save them. I couldn't risk having an episode so I avoided any conversation or idea of talking about its reconstruction. The thought of baking again made me sick to my stomach.

For a month my mind was busy, I didn't sleep much and ate very little. I saw very few people with the exception of Greasy Sae, her granddaughter, Tamryn, Haymitch and Thom. I didn't need the company nor did I want it. I talked to Annie and Johanna during the week. Sometimes just to say hi. They were my lifeline outside of District 12.

In all this time, I tried not to think of HER. She would creep into my thoughts late at night when I would suffer bouts of insomnia. I would see glimpses of her when she would visit Haymitch or when she walked to town. I tested myself as she walked past my home peeping through my window. I was relieved that I didn't have an episode that the sight of her would trigger. But even though I don't see her, she haunted me. I wake up from a nightmare of her murdering my family. I dreamt of her in an orange chiffon dress, dancing and smiling at me with love in her eyes. I don't which was worse the former or the latter.

After three weeks at District 12, I was scheduled to see Dr. Aurelius but my visit was postponed and rescheduled a week later. It seems that my treatment medication from District 13 was out of stock. I laughed at the hypocrisy for District 13's main manufacturing was weaponry. It's ironic that the same district that fueled the war was same district trying to heal it. Then, I discovered that the manufacturing of my medication was produced for me alone. It was created and designed by Dr. Aurelius himself.

After I shook myself from my melancholy, I stripped off my sweats, put on a clean shirt, socks, shoes and headed out to my kitchen. The morning air is crisp and cold. It is close to 8 and Greasy Sae would be on her way to my home. Mornings with her and granddaughter comforted me, there are no words or awkward conversation; only speaking when necessary. Two weeks after her daily visits she brought Tamryn with her. She was a little shy at first but warmed up to me.

Days later, she caught me sketching, plotting out the areas where I would plant my herbal garden. Curious she asked me to draw her plants I planned on sowing. She laughed in glee when she saw my drawings, asked me if I could teach her to draw. Soon, her visits consisted of drawing lessons. She was attentive, eager and if nurtured with time, she could be a decent artist. One day she painted a bright yellow sun on a flat wooden board telling me to install it so that the sun would always be shining on my garden. I almost cried at the sheer innocence of her request. Tamryn will never know how close she was to experiencing Reaping Day. With moments like this, I realized that the war against the Capitol was necessary and long overdue. I just wished the cost didn't weigh so heavily.

I can hear laughter coming out of Katniss' home. Tamryn's giggle echoed in the air. It is a joyful sound. It's been so long since I heard the sound of laughter I that almost didn't recognize it.

My thoughts are interrupted with Tamryn appearing at my kitchen door. "Good morning Peeta." I smiled as she ran towards me and clutched my legs. I stiffened when I felt her little arms wrapped my prosthetic leg. I looked down at her, a wide smile on her face, her black hair pleated in a bow, her eyes crinkled. I remembered Katniss held that kind of smile and innocence at that young age. A time before the death of her father that changed her life.

"Good morning, Tamryn, how's my girl today?" I smiled back at her. She took my hand, giggling back at me.

Greasy Sae sauntered to the both of us. "Peeta, Tamryn wanted to ask you something," she added then nodded to her granddaughter.

"Grandma said you made the best cakes and cookies in all of Panem," she said. "Can you bake me a cake for my birthday?"

My throat constricted. I looked at Greasy Sae and Tamryn. How could I tell her that I didn't bake anymore. Just the thought made my stomach turn. I looked at Tamryn's eager, young face. I thought of another little girl with dark hair in a braid, her steel eyes shining. A little girl, like Tamryn who visited my parent's bakery years ago. She wore a blue plaid dress as she walked in with her father clutching her little hand. A bright yellow bow on her braid. She requested a cake with flowers for her eighth birthday. She giggled as she was perched on her father's lap overlooking a drawing pad that my father was sketching on. Her cake, chocolate with white frosting, decorated with primroses and Katniss flowers. I pulled myself away from the memory and questioned whether it was real.

I turned to Tamryn, "How old is my girl going to be?" I asked as I picked her up and placed her on my lap.

"Seven," she announced.

"Seven," I mocked back. "oh no, you're getting big and all the boys in school are going to want you to be their girlfriend."

She crinkled her nose, "Eww, boys are icky. They're smelly and dirty all the time," she shrieked shaking her head.

I tried not to laugh since her two front teeth were missing. She was adorable. After breakfast, she and I drew her birthday cake. Before leaving she added, "Will you come to my birthday party, Peeta?"

I panicked at the mere thought of being in a room full of people, let alone a crowd of kids and their parents. "Please, I want you to come. You're my bestest friend," she said.

I hugged her and whispered, "Okay, sweetie. Just for you I'll come." I don't see Greasy Sae who tried to hide the tears in her eyes. Tamryn threw her small arms around me, hugging me tight. At that moment, I reached inside myself to find the courage to do one thing I couldn't bring myself to do. I promised her I would bake her a cake and I was determined to not let me down. Tamryn was the one thing that anchored me away from a world, dark and oppressive. I will not fail her as I have failed others in my life.

Days later, I walked towards town on a mission to find supplies needed for Tamryn's cake. My plan was to go to town, pick up all the ingredients then get back before Greasy Sae and Tamryn arrived for breakfast. I was serious when I mentioned the state of my kitchen and icebox. When I left before the Quarter Quell, I made sure that nothing perishable was in my house. I donated all the clothing I owned to the orphanage of District 12 and even wrote out a will leaving everything and the money I earned from my Victor's salary to my family. I knew I was not coming back. Little did I realize how wrong I was. I reached the newly reconstruction town of District 12 with great apprehension. Everywhere I went people greeted me with a handshake or a touch on the shoulder. I tried not to grimace whenever anyone touched me. There was a taste of renewal and freedom in the air. It was a brand new day in Panem, a new era especially for District 12.

I bought all the ingredients at the new stores. Since trade was now legal, products from District 1 to 13 was available from vegetables to meat and canned goods. There was even a fine jewelry store from District 1 with small trinkets made of gold, silver and diamonds. It was a luxury not available or affordable pre-Rebellion. I was about to make my escape when a voice startled me.

"Peeta, hold up." Thom greeted me. He embraced me with big strong arms, the grocery bags in between us. "Hey, it's really good to see you. I was wondering if you were ever going to visit the new town."

"Sorry, Thom. I've just been busy." I apologized. I didn't want to tell him that I couldn't see or be around people.

"So what do you think? It's amazing, isn't it?" he gestured to the surrounding buildings and shops around town. I nodded in agreement. "We have all kinds of stores now. Look," he pointed at a shop. It was a pet store with little animals from birds to snakes and feed. "Crazy, isn't it. If wanted a bird, I could go and get one myself in the woods," he laughed. I couldn't feel his jubilation. "So, I know you just got back, but have you thought of whether or not you'll rebuild your family's bakery.

I panicked at the mere suggestion and hoped it didn't show on my face. "We cleared the area if you wanted to, you know uhm...people around have been asking if you're ready to rebuild and start baking again. The permits for construction are available to you when you're ready. Everyone misses your cakes and pastries," he rambled. "The new town isn't complete without the Mellark Bakery."

"I…uh…haven't thought…if…, I'm sorry, Thom, but I have to get back home," I started and turned around walking in a fast pace. My head started to spin, I swear I can hear a buzzing sound around me. I don't remember how I got home but the next thing I knew

I'm seated in my kitchen, hands shaking as I looked over the drawing of Tamryn's cake. It was simple yet beautiful. I concentrated on the drawing as I felt an episode appearing. She requested her cake to be decorated with her favorite flowers; daisies in multiple colors of blue, yellow, pink and purple. She insisted of no white because as she quoted white is 'quite boring.' On top of the cake is a butterfly sitting on the field of flowers. I have two weeks before I have to make the cake for her birthday party. I hope by then I am able to accomplish that. So in order to steel myself from that endeavor I decided to try baking a simple white bread. I've been staring at all the ingredients placed on top of my kitchen table. The task is daunting. I realized, if I cannot make myself bake something as simple bread, how can I bake a 3 tier layered birthday cake for Tamryn.

I cannot stop my hands from shaking, I tried to focus my eyes. I felt an onset of an episode forming. What triggered it, I don't remember.

"Peeta, are you okay?" Haymitch started. I didn't realize that he entered my home. "I've been calling you for the last 5 minutes. You've been staring at your table for a while now." I see him but his words were muffled in my ears. I grabbed the end of table with both hands. The next thing I knew the world turned black.

I woke up in a fetal position. My throat ached like I've been screaming for hours. My eyes felt puffy from crying. I can hear voices around me, but cannot distinguish the owners. What finally breaks me from my episode is hearing Tamryn crying, calling out to me.

"Peeta, wake up. Peeta. I want you to see the drawing I made for you," she cried, her tiny voice was heartbreaking. "Please wake up." I don't understand why she is here in my home while I'm in a middle of my episode, but her voice sounded like angels calling out to me. Pulling me away from my own personal hell.

"Tamryn," I sobbed as I extended my hand to her. She yanked herself from her grandmother's arms and clutched her arms around me as I pulled myself off the floor in a sitting position. She continued to cry in my arms with her drawing still clutched in her hand.

"Hey, wipe your pretty eyes. No more crying, okay? I want to see the picture you made for me." My voice cracked as I swiped tears from her cheeks. I looked down to see her drawing of us in a field of flowers holding hands. Our names are large and printed in bold letters. She wrote words underneath us that shook me to my core. Words I have not heard for a long time. It's what I felt around Prim as she took care of me in District 13. It's what I saw whenever Finn was with Annie. They were words that didn't exist in my life.

"I love you, Peeta," Tamryn declared. I looked at her in awe and in shame. I couldn't bring myself to repeat the words back to her so I just broke down and cried.


	5. Chapter 5 - Baker, Victor, Traitor, Hero

Chapter 5 – Baker, Victor, Traitor, Hero

_**AN: Thanks again for those who are following my story. Also, for those who have reviewed, I am grateful and astounded with your kind words and comments. Hope I don't disappoint with the new chapters ahead. The next update will be after Thanksgiving weekend. By the way, I wish everyone a safe and Happy Thanksgiving tomorrow. **_

**Dr. Aurelius POV – **

I placed my mobile receiver on my desk. I sighed and looked out my window. My office, which is located on the tenth floor near the center of the Capitol has a perfect view of what was once the Hunger Games stadium. Now in its place is an open field of beautiful green grass and diamond-dusted walkways leading to a large marble fountain. It is dedicated in memory for the victims of 75 Hunger Games. Its' beautiful architecture is eclipsed by the solemn reminder of Panem's dark history. A history of murder and atrocities against 1728 girls and boys used for entertainment. Pulling away from my somber thoughts, I think back to the call that started my day. Like clockwork, Haymitch Abernathy never fails to call me everyday at the same time. Our conversation consisted of him prying information from me about Peeta's progress and asking when he'll be coming back to District 12.

Speaking of history, Peeta Mellark, the one half of the Victors of the 74th Hunger Games, is a resident/patient in my medical facility. I had taken great strides in ensuring his safety soon after the media got a hold of his arrival days before. The media circuit went into a frenzy when they had discovered his presence in the Capitol. It is a circus outside the hospital premises. I hired extra security since we received death threats on his behalf. You see, many consider him a traitor, the Victor who sided with the Capitol. Little do they realize how much the 18-year-old teenager suffered at their Capitol's hands. What torture and abuse he endured after the Quarter Quell. Haymitch and I discussed in great length how to redeem Peeta's reputation for he was much of a prisoner than a spoiled Victor advocating peace between the Districts and the Capitol. In my estimation, Peeta is physically and mentally to weak endure the media barrage that would ensue once he goes out in public of his experience during his incarceration. He might lash out in anger and suffer a hijacking episode. His scars and injuries are more psychological than physical.

During the war, I have treated many injuries. Nothing prepared me for the atrocities that Peeta, Johanna Mason and Annie Cresta endured. I shuttered to think of it. So, I took it upon myself to treat the three Victors after the war. I felt it as my duty as a doctor to heal them. I wanted them to know that they are not the casualties of war, to be abandoned, thrown aside and forgotten of their sacrifice. If it took all my professional life, I will cure Peeta and help him regain the life he deserved.

* * *

_**Flashback, four days earlier – **_

After postponing Peeta's treatment for a more than a week, I got a frantic call from Haymitch telling me that Peeta suffered an episode earlier that morning. As he calmed down, he proceeded to tell me that Peeta's episode was something he's never seen before. This episode he reacted with physical violence by upturning his kitchen table and chairs, grabbing pots and pans, whatever within his reach and hurled them to the walls and floor. Then, he stopped and knelt on the ground, tucked his hands over his head and rocked in place. Not once did he react to Haymitch's presence. He observed him for an hour, rocking in place until he dropped on the floor and folded into a fetal position. He proceeded to tell me about Tamryn's involvement. I scolded Haymitch for permitting to let a neighbor's child witness Peeta's breakdown. He insured me that she was safe and it was she who had pulled Peeta out of his episode. After Haymitch finished telling me of the incident, I told him to take him straight to the train station. After my call with Haymitch, I reached over to a communication console and called Unit Coordinator, Abby Seaver.

"Nurse Seaver, can you please prepare room 407. Mr. Mellark is arriving this evening." I announced.

"Mr. Mellark?" she questioned. "Isn't he scheduled to arrive in three days?"

"Yes, but I need to move his appointment ahead of schedule. I'm sorry it's an emergency. Make sure that all medical staff and security are in place by eight this evening." I apologized.

"It's alright, Dr. Aurelius, his room is ready. In fact, I try to find any excuse to visit it during my break," Nurse Seaver admitted. Abby Seaver is the head nurse at the facility. I wouldn't know what I'd do without her. "You need to know that I'm not the only one who visits his room in a regular bases if you know what I mean."

I laughed to myself at her admission and thought back to the early days of his recovery. During Peeta's stay, he was granted permission to draw and paint as a part of his healing process. I recalled the look of terror in his eyes when I made the suggestion. My idea was rejected with a shake of his head and a resounding 'No.' So for months his art supplies which were kept in his room were ignored. I gave up hope on seeing him pick up a paintbrush or a pencil. Then, one morning one of the nursing staff ran into my office, frazzled yet frantic telling me to come to Peeta's room. I ran into his room in sheer panic as thoughts entered my mind. Did he hurt someone? Did he hurt himself with the sharp drawing pencils I supplied? If Peeta is dead, it was all on me.

There's a crowd of people outside his room, hovering at the doorway. I pushed my way in and gasped in surprise. On one wall, he had painted a beautiful and lush, green meadow filled with flowers and wild life; the sun shining bright near the ceiling. It was nothing I have ever seen before. It takes years to master a painting that real and so…I couldn't find the words to describe it. My vocabulary consisted of medical terminology and I was a loss for words. I could only say that it was a masterpiece. It mush have taken him all night to complete the mural. I looked over to see Peeta sleeping in the most restful slumber. He wasn't twitching or appear agitated; his face was peaceful. His eyelids moved about that I was certain he was having a pleasant dream. I reached over to check his vitals, his heartbeat normal, his skin dry and his breathing calm. I laughed to myself when I see his hair tousled and paint smeared all over him from his hair to his face and arms; a long green streak across his gaunt cheeks and specks of yellow on his neck. His clothes splattered with multiple shades of paint, some still wet. He looked like a little boy whose only psychological issue was the fact that he had a mother who emotionally abandoned him. I gazed back at the wall in awe. How can he paint something so magnificent with a mind that was tortured and abused? When he was released, I kept the room in the same condition leaving the mural untouched.

"He's suffered an episode this morning and he's not in good shape. I may have to keep him longer than scheduled," I returned. I pulled out a touch pad and scrolled down to Peeta's file. I was hoping that my new treatment for Peeta would arrive soon. But District 13 was having problems with its design. I rubbed a hand on my forehead. The timing was unfortunate. "He's going to stay for a while. Haymitch said this episode is new, different. I need to know what caused it."

"All right, Dr. Aurelius. Everyone will be ready by the time he arrives. By the way, I have new nurses arriving today. I would like them to meet you before the end of the day, if that's all right," she announced.

"That's fine, the meet and greet will have to be scheduled later on this evening. I need to attend to Peeta first. Please make sure the new staff stays away from the fourth floor. I want complete privacy for Peeta while he's staying here." I was about to end the call when I added, "And can you tell Nurse Cartwright to come to my office. Please be discreet." I hung up and made another call, this time to District 13. "Hello this is Dr. Aurelius, may I speak to Mr. Beetee Latier."

* * *

_**Present time – **_

I clutched my writing pad as I walked over to Peeta's room. As a rule, any sessions I have with a patient was done in my office. However, with Peeta I made an exception. It was an excuse to be in his room with his painting. An indulgence I'm never doing to admit to anyone. I walked towards his room to see two male nurses outside his opened door, a security measure I had to take in case Peeta reacted in a hostile manner. I walked in and see Peeta sitting on a chair, staring at his painting with a blank look in his face. I walked over to a chair next to him and sat down.

"How are you going this afternoon, Peeta?" I asked. He shook his shoulder without even a glance in my direction. I noticed his food tray half eaten. I sighed, "Peeta if you expect to go home, you need to eat more and I need your full participation in these sessions." I stopped to gauge his reaction. "Once you finish your treatment for the month, I'll need to clear you're sessions in order to release you. So you need to talk to me. " Hoping that would be an incentive to have him start a conversation.

"I'm not going back," he whispered.

"You're not? Why do you say that?" I questioned. I placed my writing pad down on my lap. He stared at the wall in complete silence. I waited and waited. I signaled one of the nurses and whispered in his ear. Then, he left the room. "Tell me why you don't want to go back home?"

After a few seconds, Peeta responded. "I walk around in constant fear of having an episode. I don't want to hurt anyone," he admitted. "I have nothing to go back to. Nothing but an empty house, no family or friends, no one but my nightmares as my companion."

"You know that's not true. How about Haymitch?" I asked. "What about Tamryn?" He grimaced. "Haymitch tells me that she's in District 12 waiting for you, waiting for you to return to make her birthday cake."

"She lived without me before, she can continue to do so," he stated.

"Peeta, you don't realize the affect you have on people," I reminded.

"It's a waste," he confessed. He closed his eyes trying to not burst into tears.

"What is a waste?" I asked. He remained quiet. "Tell me Peeta?" Nurse Cartwright walked into the room.

When I asked Delly Cartwright to come to my a office a few days ago, I had instructed her to take one the hospital's hovercraft and meet Peeta at District 11's train station. She was a friend to Peeta pre-Games and I knew he wouldn't react negatively as she escorted him back to the Capitol. I couldn't afford to have him linger in the train by himself for two days. I needed him to be in the hospital as soon as possible. Sending Delly, his childhood friend guaranteed a safe passage. When Peeta arrived, he dropped on the mattress and slept for two days. Two days after his return, I needed to get him back into a routine for his sessions and treatments.

"If you can't tell me, can you tell Delly?" I asked as I stood up and let Delly sit next to him. He opened in his blue crystal eyes flooded with tears.

"Hello, baker boy," she flashed a smile as she took his left hand. He smiled back.

"Delly," he whispered. I know using Delly in his sessions is unorthodox and unprofessional, but I was desperate. Peeta was falling into a deep depression. A depression with his current state of mind would destroy him. I would lose the Peeta I was acquainted with during the games. I watched him as he charmed a nation with his good looks and witty words. The tribute whose eyes twinkled during his interviews with Cesar Flickerman; the charming boy from District 12 whom all of the Capitol adored. The same Peeta that would flash his brilliant smile that many young girls melted in admiration.

"It's good to see you up and about, Peet," she said as she took him in her arms.

"I was tired from the trip," he quipped as they released each other from their embrace. I took a few steps back to observe them.

"For two day, really! Peeta, you're such a lazy boy," she joked.

"I've been busy back at District 12," Peeta returned in anger.

"I've heard," Delly admitted. Her brow rose as she continued. "Yeah, Johanna told me. Why have you not returned my calls?"

"I'm sorry, but being back in District 12….it's been really hard and...," he rambled.

"It's okay, I understand but from now on pick up the phone. I miss talking to you. I want to know what you've been up to. I had to get Johanna to tell me everything. I'm your friend too, baker boy, long before the games."

"I will from now on. I promise," he said. "Wait a second, you keep in contact with Johanna?" he asked in surprise.

"I was there in the hospital during her sessions and treatments. She's now my friend too, you know. Even when she threatens me with her axe most of the time," she cackled.

"Yeah, isn't she the best?" Peeta gushed.

"You have weird friends, Peet," she returned.

"You mean like you?" he joked.

"Hey, I'm also family, Peet. Don't forget that," she warned. In a matter of seconds, Peeta's demeanor changed. His smile disappeared and his shoulders slumped. Delly recognized the change in him. "So you want to tell me, what you were talking about with Dr. Aurelius?"

"Nothing, Delly?" he pouted. His interaction with Delly brought out a Peeta I've never seen before. Young, scared, and vulnerable.

"Nuh uh, I know you Peet. Tell me what you were thinking," she demanded.

"My life," he said in a whisper. "I wasted my life."

Delly looked up at me. I nodded at her to continue. "How, baker boy?"

"Everything I've done since I've been reaped was all for nothing. I was ready to die in the first games, but I survived. In the Quarter Quell, I knew that was it for me," he said. "I was prepared to die. When I was at the Capitol all I wanted to do was die. And now I'm here, I've survived the rebellion and Panem is finally free. And do you know what I got out of it? Nothing. Absolutely nothing, I've lost everything," he confessed. His arms wrapped around him tight as he looked down on the floor.

"You've alive, Peeta. That's says something. You're a miracle." she cried.

"And what have I gained, Delly? Tell me? What did I survive for?" he bawled, silent tears streaming from his eyes. "I'll tell you. A body with a missing limb, scars covering my skin from head to toe. I have nightmares that never go away. My mind tortured and hijacked. I don't know what is real and what is not. But most of all, I don't know who I am anymore, what I've become. I'm a monster, Delly." He sobbed.

"You're not a monster, Peeta. I know who you are," Delly responded while Peeta shrugged her off. "You are Peeta Mellark, the boy who loved working at his family's bakery. You make the best cheese buns in all of Panem. You're favorite color is sunset orange. You don't drink coffee; you drink tea with no sugar. You are the gentlest and sweetest boy I have ever known. You're the same gentle boy who beat up Ray Upton for making fun of me and pushing me down in the playground when we were six. The same boy who loved and protected me like his own family. The same Peeta that snuck cookies to me when I was sick with chicken pox."

"I'm not him anymore, Dells. They changed him. The Capitol changed him," he cried. "I swore that they would never do that to me and they did, I came back as a killer."

"You're wrong," she argued. "You're still you. You may have a missing leg, and scars all over your body, but that doesn't make you for who you are," she claimed. "This is you, Peet," she poked the middle of his chest. "The Capitol didn't take this away from you. The baker boy inside that still exists. He's there, battered and abused but he's still there," He clutched her hand against his chest. "You just need to find him again."

"What if I can't?" he admitted. "You don't know how hard it is for me to hold on. I'm just existing, Delly. I thought being tortured in the Capitol was the worse thing that happened to me, but coming back to District 12 alone with no family, to be forgotten and abandoned by people I trusted. I'm rudderless with no land in sight and with no sense of direction. No sun or stars to guide me."

Delly smiled. "What are you smiling about?" Peeta asked as he stood up in front of her.

"Even in your worse moments of darkness and hopelessness, the Peeta I know still exists," she voiced.

"How can you say that?" he whined.

"Because no one can be as eloquent as you in a middle of your despair. He's still there, Peet. You just have to fight for him," she uttered.

"I don't want to fight, I don't have it in me to fight anymore. When I do, someone gets hurt," he confessed as he walked back to his bed and sat down.

"Then fight to live for the people who loves you," she expressed as she wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "Fight for a little girl back in District 12 who's been waiting for you to come back home."

"Tamryn," Peeta whispered as he wiped tears from his eyes.

"Yeah, don't you dare disappoint her. She's been waiting for you to come back," she declared. "Go back for her. Okay?"

"Okay, I'll try," Peeta acquiesced. "Thanks Delly. Thank you for being here and being my friend."

"I'm not just your friend, Peet. I'm family and you better remember that," she warned as she elbowed him on the ribs. "And as family, I get to kick your ass for talking nonsense and making me worry. Please Peeta, please fight for yourself. For me. You're all I have left too." I leave the room feeling that some progress has occurred. It's not a lot, but it enough for now.

A few days later, Nurse Seaver entered my office carrying a brown paper bag. She wore plain black blouse and pants. A mobile receiver attached to her gray belt. Her dark hair pulled in a single braid blended with her uniform. Her green eyes stared straight into mine. "Dr. Aurelius, I need a moment of your time, if I may," she said.

"Abby, of course. You know my office is open anytime," I directed. "Please have a seat."

"There was a breach in security on Mr. Mellark's floor," she announced as she sat down. "Last night, the security cameras caught an intruder roaming in the hallway."

"Is he okay? What happened? Did security find him?" I rambled.

"No, he was able to slip out before they could catch him," she said. "Security found

this." She pulled a single white rose from the bag. Her silver security ID band glistened from her pale skin. "It was lying in front of Mr. Mellark's door."

I took the rose from her. It was pristine white and fresh. "Did Peeta see this?" I asked.

"No, security was able to remove it from the premises before Mr. Mellark could find it," she said in relief.

"We've had a few death threats before, but this is new," I said. "This is personal. A real live threat to his life." I placed the rose on my desk.

"A Capitol sympathizer. One of Snow's people, it seems. It is his calling card," she pointed the obvious.

"It can really be anyone. The rebels saw him as a traitor as well as the Capitol," I added.

"What are you going to do? Are you going to mention this to Mr. Mellark in his next session?"

"I have to," I admitted.

"Do you think that is wise? Won't seeing the rose set back his recovery? What if he gets another episode?" she questioned.

"Ordinarily, I would agree with you, but I can't keep this from him," I told. Seaver looked back at me, a worried look etched her face. "One of his biggest issues are secrets and lies. His trust for people is non existent. He's been lied to again and again for months. And keeping secrets is the biggest issue. I want Peeta to trust me so I can't keep this from him."

"Poor child, for one so young he's endured so much pain and suffering," she sighed. I agreed.

That afternoon, I approached Peeta's room when I heard a crash and yelling coming from inside his room. "You're a jerk, Peeta Mellark," Delly screamed at him. Peeta laughed in response to her outburst. Relieved, I entered the room.

Delly stood with her arms crossed and a scowl on her face while Peeta was seated on his bed with a big smile. Next to him, I noticed an image of a little girl on his drawing pad. "What's going on in here? Nurse Cartwright, are you scheduled to be in this floor?" I demanded trying to keep a serious look on my face.

She looked back at me like she been caught stealing cookies from a bakery. "I'm sorry, Dr. Aurelius. I was on my break and thought I could visit Peeta for a few minutes," she confessed.

"Visitations are restricted on this floor, Cartwright. You know the rules," I added.

"Don't get mad at her, Dr. A. I asked her to visit me," Peeta said.

"Then what is all this ruckus about?" I pointed at the empty bedpan lying on the floor.

"Peeta…he asked…," she stumbled.

"It's my fault. I asked her something personal and she didn't it take too kindly," he admitted.

"Oh, and what is it about, that a bedpan became a casualty to your temper tantrum?" I asked eyeing Delly. She remained unresponsive, blushing as her cheeks turned a bright red.

"Well, Delly has a new boyfriend and I wanted to know if…" he started.

"Peeta!" Delly interrupted. "It's private and none of your business. You're just trying to embarrass me."

"We always tell each other everything, don't we Dells?" he smirked.

Defiant, she placed both her hands on her hips, "Okay, if that's true then I'll ask the same about Katniss," she snorted.

And just like that Peeta closed down. He stood up from his bed and placed his hands over his ears. He opened his mouth but nothing came out.

"Peeta?" Delly asked as she approached him.

"You need to leave, Nurse Cartwright. Break's over," I ordered. I could see Delly's reluctance to leave Peeta in his current state. "Now!" She leaves the room with one last glance towards him.

I approached Peeta and sat down on his bed. "Peeta? What are you feeling?" I asked.

"My chest hurts and…," he started. I waited for him to finish. "and…a buzzing sound in my head." He continued while he pressed his hands over his ears as he paced the room.

"Like a tracker jacker?" I questioned.

He shook his head. "No, like an electrical current," he corrected.

"I see," I added. Thoughts raced through my mind as I remembered one of the tortures he endured. His tormentors used a staff with an open electrical current on one end to break him while they projected unflattering images of Katniss on screen. "You've been here for days now. You need to tell me what really caused your episode back in District 12."

I don't know if he can hear me but I continued, "You've been doing so well, making changes in your home and meeting new people. You even walked into town. You told me you've seen Katniss upon numerous occasions without wanting to hurt her. So tell me, what's happened to change all that? What's different this time?"

He looked into my eyes. "It's been building up for some time. I didn't realize it until it was too late," Peeta said. "The lack of sleep only compounded what was building inside me."

I waited as Peeta took his time to reveal what I had already knew.

"The bakery, making Tamryn's cake. Me, walking into town. The buzzing sound that came from an electrical unit near Thom and I as we were talking," he recounted. "All of that triggered an episode."

I wanted to discuss the one topic that I knew would put him on edge. "Peeta, you've avoided any discussion about Katniss. We need to talk about her. You live in District 12, how do expect to coexist and not see or talk to her for the rest of your life?"

"It hurts, Dr. Aurelius," he lamented. "It physically hurts to see her too ling. I want to rip my skin off me. Yank my eyes out. I feel as though a thousand tracker jackers is covering my skin."

"Maybe you should consider relocating into another district. All you're triggers are in District 12," I suggested.

"12 is my home, my family's home," he said. Home and family, the two things that he desired but did not have anymore.

"Do you still have fantasies of killing her. Like back in District 13?" I asked. He shook his head. He said it hurts when he's around her, not that he wanted to kill her. It was a huge improvement. He no longer had the urge to harm her but himself. This was a new development to his episode, self-affliction. This was good news and it was bad because now he was bound to hurt himself in the worse way. Since the torture his self worth was battered. This new issue had to be addressed before his return to District 12.

Days pass as Peeta continued with his sessions with me. His new treatment from District 13 finally arrived, three weeks late. Peeta's recovery is slow but encouraging. I had developed a treatment in which Peeta was flooded with images of Katniss with sounds associated to his torture. It was shock therapy. It was horrible at first as Peeta tore at his hair, his eyes glazed as he continued to yell in silence. In an instant I stopped the session but after his episode, Peeta demanded to continue. He suggested first to bring up an image of Katniss then in a low volume introduce the buzzing sound, raising the volume after each session. After the first attempt, I learned my lesson and had him restrained. In the next session, he just twisted and fought with his restraints until he couldn't endure the pain in his mind. This went on for days until the buzzing sound no longer affected him. I am ashamed to admit that these treatments are akin to his torture. But it was the only solution that comes to mind in order for Peeta to recover from his hijacking. He endured it, like a prisoner of war, defiant with a strong sense of survival. I then introduced Katniss' singing, the song she sang during the first game in tribute to Rue. I got an idea and called Haymitch for a favor. He called back later and agreed to my suggestion. The change was instant in Peeta. He no longer twitched or reacted at the mention of her name.

One day as Peeta and Delly were having lunch at level 4's dining area, the security alarm went off on his floor. I was in my office on the top floor at the time. Concerned for Peeta's welfare, I skipped the elevator and ran six flights of stairs. I was told that one of the new nurses tried to sneak into the fourth floor hoping to see her favorite Victor, Peeta Mellark. Nurse Seaver had her training terminated and she was escorted out of the premises without any further explanation. Ensured that he was okay, I realized that I had not informed Peeta of the threat to his life. After lunch I sat him down in my office and told him. I even showed him the white rose left on his door. He surprised me and said, "I'm a Victor who participated in two Hunger Games, I've been tortured and abused by the Capitol; I've survived the games and the rebellion, Dr. Aurelius. I've come to terms with my hijacking. So no one is going to take the life I fought hard to keep." I told Peeta I was proud of him but reminded him he still had to watch his back.

Days later Peeta had completed his treatments. Since I had also cleared his psyche evaluation, he was declared fit to return to District 12 but with condition; that he check in with me on a weekly basis. I watched as he packed his belonging. He didn't have much but a few drawing pads, charcoal pencils and a few articles of clothing. He still refused to pick up a paintbrush so he left those behind in his room. I will send those supplies to him when hee's ready. With the new clothes that Delly bought him, he looked fit in body but not in spirit. He is still underweight for his height. He wore a black hoodie on top of his black long sleeve button down shirt, dark green pants, and dark brown hiking boots. A dark green cap that hid his blond hair finished his ensemble. He refused the hovercraft as transport, claiming that he wanted to enjoy the train ride home with Delly and make a stop at District 7.

On the day of their departure I drove Delly and Peeta to the train station. I had purchased two tickets to leave at midnight hoping there will be no large crowds around him. Delly decided to return home since her training was completed. She was excited to see the new changes while Peeta looked sick from worry. We talked in great length of his concerns during the drive to the station and I assured him that he was ready. When their train arrived, I gave Delly last minute instructions while Peeta stood at the platform agitated, staring into the night sky. Then, she walked over to him, took his left hand and boarded the train. I waved goodbye and headed back to the hospital. It was a new beginning for the both of them. I was glad and overjoyed with Peeta's progress that I didn't see the intruder from the hospital board the same train with Peeta and Delly; his destination - District 12.


	6. Chapter 6 - Hunter, Victor, Mockingjay,

Chapter 6 – Hunter, Victor, Mockingjay, Survivor

_**AN: For those who have continued to follow this story, my thanks as always. I hope you continue to hold on since I am building a new world. Things will progress from this point with the characters necessary for the next chapters. Don't fret this is an Everlark story. Their road towards each other will be long and difficult but worth it.**_

**Haymitach POV – **

I woke up feeling ice cold and wet as water dripped from my head down to my shoulders. "Holy, shit, Katniss. What the hell?" I screamed as I stood up from my easy chair. I opened my mouth to continue a barrage of swear words when I'm surprised to see Sae standing beside me with an empty glass pitcher in her hand. I snorted and winced from the effects of my hangover, "You women are all alike. Did Katniss put you up to this?"

"Watch your language, Haymitch. I haven't seen Katniss in two days, you know that," she returned. Through my haze, I realized that Tamryn is standing a few feet away clutching a brown stuffed dog in her hands, eyes wide in fear.

"Sorry, you just…you didn't have to do that," I apologized as pulled back my dripping hair from my face.

"I've been trying to wake you up for the last ten minutes. This…," she raised her hand still clutching the pitcher, "was my last resort," she snickered. "Besides, you agreed that after three days if she's not out of her room, we were going to break down her door if necessary."

"I know. I know," I replied as I tried to get my bearing. "I just can't believe how she reacted to my news of Peeta going back to the Capitol. I didn't think she'd resort to her old habits," I admitted as I sat down on my chair.

"I see you did the same," she pointed to a couple of liquor bottles on my coffee table.

"Well, after 25 years some habits are hard to break," I admitted. I swore to myself when think back to the promise I made to Peeta. A promise that I had already broken.

* * *

_**Flashback, three days earlier – **_

Peeta was quiet and unresponsive as we both waited at the train station. I sighed in relief as I look around. The platform wasn't too crowded. I watched as spectators whispered to each other and pointed at Peeta, recognizing him. Some stared back in anger while others looked in curiosity. I moved closer to him making sure that no one would approach him. Peeta looked small and lost with his head down and his eyes staring at the floor.

After his incident I made a quick call to Dr. Aurelius who arranged to have Peeta picked up via hovercraft at District 11 after a short train ride from 12. Why isn't he being picked up in 12, you ask? It is by President Paylor's mandate that no hovercraft was to enter District 12 airspace. A few months back when Katniss returned to 12, she saw and heard the ships flying overhead. She shrieked in terror and screamed that District 12 was being bombed again. Her delusions and nightmares lasted for two weeks that she had to be sedated. So I worry that he had to travel alone for 4 hours before he reached 11 in his state of mind. I planned on accompanying him but he refused my company. "I don't need a sitter," he argued.

I tried not to stare at Peeta whose eyes were red and puffy. He didn't look good. He was still too thin and frail even with the help of Sae's home cooked meals. My thoughts were interrupted when I realized that Peeta was talking to me.

"Haymitch, I need for you to do me a favor," he said.

"Anything, Peeta, just name it," I stated. I was surprised that he needed to ask. I would do anything for this kid. I then realize his trust in me is still weary.

"Can you tell Tamryn, I'm sorry that I won't be able to make her birthday cake and attend her party," he said.

"She'll understand, kid," I mentioned.

"And…," he sighed. "Can you watch over Katniss…just in case I don't come back. You're all she has left." Shocked, even with state of mind, he was worried about her. When Dr. Aurelius announced that he was coming back, I was sure he would be back to mooning and falling all over Katniss. I was prepared to give my _'give Katniss some space, don't overwhelm her, she's still fragile. Just be patient,_' speech. I was wrong. So very wrong. He never approached her, didn't acknowledge her presence. He kept to himself. I was devastated when I realized that Peeta, pre-Quarter Quell was gone. I felt a sliver of hope that the Peeta I knew was still there.

"You're coming back, Peeta," I stated. "We need you; we all need you."

"No one needs me," he whispered so low that I almost didn't catch his words. It reminded of the time he and Katniss shared together at the beach. Their most intimate moment caught on camera. Before I could argue, the train arrived. I directed Peeta to a private seating compartment and instructed the attendant that he was not to be disturbed under any circumstance until he reached District 11. I looked back at Peeta one last time. He was seated, looking out through a window as if he was memorizing his surroundings.

"Peeta," I called out to him. He looked at me sad and resigned. "Stay alive."

* * *

_**Present time - **_

'_I'm too old for this.'_ I chanted in my head. _'Those two kids are going to be the death of me.'_ I reiterated as I walked up the stairs in Katniss' home. Sae and Tamryn are waiting downstairs in the kitchen preparing breakfast. I had a back up plan incase my first one didn't pan out. I've been a mentor for twenty-five years. One learned to plan ahead when going into battle. Banging on her bedroom door, I yelled out, "Open the door, Katniss. I'm not going to put up with this shit again."

I am met with silence as I wondered if she had left the house. However, I hear a creak on the wooden floor beyond the door.

"Leave me alone, Haymitch," Katniss ordered. "Don't you have a date with Ms. Autumn Solstice?" I smirked at her joke. She's depressed but responsive, a sign that she's not too far gone to insult me. You see, Autumn Solstice is the most expensive and coveted whiskey in Panem. Only the wealthy and privileged had access to the rare whiskey. It was only sold in the Capitol and District 1. My acquaintance with the whiskey was one of the perks of being a victor. Katniss took one small sip one night. She spat it out and commented that it tasted like old wet wood that sat out on the sun to long growing fungus on it. I quipped back that it was an acquired taste.

"Get your ass out of bed and open this door now," I demanded. My request was ignored again. I pressed my ear on the wood and waited. Okay, so I asked nicely. So it's time to implement plan B.

"Fine stay there, I guess you don't want to hear my news about Peeta." I turned around and as I reached the top of the stairs, she opened her door. I eyed her for a second. She wore a ratty grey dressing gown; her hair needed grooming as she stood with short woolen socks on her feet. She was a mess.

"Wait, Haymitch. What about Peeta?" she asked. Her eyes were wide and hopeful.

"Nuh, uh, you take a shower and get dressed. I'll see you downstairs for breakfast. Then, we'll talk." I demanded.

"Haymitch!" she whined. I turned and ran down the stairs, making my escape.

* * *

**Katniss POV – **

After a quick shower, I dressed as fast as I could to meet Haymitch for breakfast. I felt dizzy and ached all over from laying in bed all day and all night without leaving my bedroom. I'll admit that I didn't take the news well when he told me that Peeta had left for the Capitol. It brought back painful memories of when he was abducted during the Quarter Quell. I felt that I had lost him again.

I entered my kitchen and was surprised to see Sae and Tamryn joining us for breakfast. I shouldn't have been surprised since it is part of a routine we had developed since my return to District 12. _'Would it be too rude of me to ask them to leave so I can talk to Haymitch alone. Effie would be appalled by my bad manners._' I chuckled.

"Good morning," I announced. Tamryn ran into me with a tight hug around my legs.

"Katniss, I missed you," she said.

"I missed you too. Sorry I haven't been around lately. I've been sick. I haven't been feeling well," I added.

"Are you sick too? Are you going far away like Peeta," she panicked as she looked at her grandmother. "Grandma, Katniss is going away too. She's going to miss my birthday party, just like Peeta."

"Hey, Tamryn. I'm not going anywhere. I'm staying right here," I stated as I placed her on my lap.

It's not usual for Haymitch to join us so the atmosphere was subdued and awkward. It's obvious that Peeta's absence affected Tamryn. She questioned all of us whether we knew when he was coming back. There were no words to assure her of Peeta's return.

An hour later, I tried not to rush Sae and Tamryn out the door. My nerves are shot. I couldn't taste the food Sae prepared for us. I'm so distracted that I burned my tongue after not checking on the temperature of my tea before taking a sip. I am a mess. I returned to find Haymitch standing in the viewing room adjusting the volume to the monitor. He had turned it on. "What are you doing?" I demanded. Why was he in my viewing room watching the monitor when he knew I wanted to talk about Peeta. I shoved him away and turned the monitor off.

"Before you go off on me, I first need to tell you that Peeta is fine. He's in good hands so try not to worry about him," he assured me as he sat down on the sofa and gestured for me to join him. "

"He's back in the Capitol, Haymitch. Do you know what those words did to me?" I bawled. My knees buckled as I sat down.

"I'm sorry, Katniss, I didn't meant to say it like that," he apologized.

"Just tell me if he's okay," I questioned. "When is he coming back?"

"He's only been there for two days and from what Aurelius tells me, he's been sleeping the whole time," he voiced. '_Sleeping for two days,' _I thought. The same two days that I had not slept a wink worrying about him. I sighed in relief. "As for coming back, it's too soon to say."

"But he is coming back?" I wondered.

"Of course, he's coming back. This is his home. In the meantime, he has his treatments and sessions to complete. And with this last episode, who knows how long Aurelius will keep him." he said.

"I know I ran out when you told me he was gone, can you tell me what happened?" I inquired. He proceeded to tell me in full detail of the incident including Tamryn's involvement. I felt a bit resentful of Tamryn's ability to put Peeta at ease. After the reaping, despite my denials and horrible treatment of Peeta, we protected each other. It was he and I against the Capitol. I was lost in my thoughts.

"Katniss, there is something else you need to know. Something that I kept from you," he added.

"What do you need to tell me?" I asked as I tried to contain my anxiety and fears.

"I don't know if you've noticed that there are no media or news reporters in District 12," he mentioned. "President Paylor and the New Security Bureau had imposed a no media access to District 12. Imprisonment and a large fine are enforced if the law is broken."

"I need to thank Paylor for that," I commented. After my return from the war, I wondered why there was no press coverage stalking me at District 12.

"The thing is…the deal with her I made on your behalf," he stated. "She agreed that no media will ever set foot on 12 under one condition.

My eyes narrowed as I gritted my teeth. I tensed for a few minutes. "What was the condition?" I asked.

"Once a year, you and Peeta are to appear together at the Capitol," he stated.

"No way in hell am I going back there," I yelled as I stood up and paced the floor. He watched me for a few minutes. "What did Peeta say about this agreement?"

"Uh…he doesn't know," he said putting his head down in shame. Another secret he had kept from us. I knew he did it in our best interest, but the act stings of betrayal. I sat down, placed my elbows on my knees and covered my hands over my head.

"There something else," he added. "Anytime you or Peeta leave 12, you will be escorted with a security detail." I knew that was coming. "The New Security Bureau headed by Gale Hawthorne." I haven't thought of Gale in weeks. His involvement with Prim's death is still fresh in my mind. It's not anger that I feel towards him, but sadness. I've forgiven him but I could never forget. I'll never forget the boy who had helped me keep Prim safe. The same boy, who designed the bomb that killed her and many others. My best friend killed my sister.

"I'm sorry for all this, I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I just didn't know how or when to tell you," he said. I looked at Haymitch and realized that the war aged him considerably. New lines aged his face. The war changed all of us in so many ways. I couldn't find in myself to be angry with him. I was tired of being angry all the time.

"I know you did it to protect us, me and Peeta. Just like you always have since our reaping," I said. He looked back at me in relief. "Just next time, talk to us first. This is our lives you are playing with. We're not children anymore, we haven't been since the first games. It's insulting when you don't consult us."

He nodded his head. "There is so much I need to say. I owe you and Peeta a long and overdue apology. Not for what is happening now, but for everything that has transpired since the reaping." He gulped as he tried to find the words he wanted to say.

"When we first met, I didn't see you as two young kids who were scared, angry and alone. I just saw two more casualties from the games. But when you both won, and became the hope and figureheads to the rebellion, I only saw a tactical advantage and an opportunity to a cause that had started long before you were born. I'm so sorry, Katniss. You've given up so much, lost so much. Panem owes their freedom to both you and Peeta."

I am shocked and speechless from Haymitch's admission. "It's done and over with, Haymitch. There is nothing to forgive. I have accepted my part and role in the rebellion. I just wish that so many people didn't suffer and lost so much, especially District 12. Panem is free from the Capitol. That was the goal. There will be no more reapings, and not a single person controlling of how we live our lives. I have so many regrets. I don't want to live in guilt and anger. I want to live and more on." Though the words flowed with ease from my mouth, I knew that it was easier said than done. I had an epiphany, "I want to do more than survive."

"So we watch over each other, as we have done. We protect each other," he stated. I smiled as he sounded so much like Peeta. "Anyway, I also wanted to tell you that I'll be getting daily updates of Peeta's progress while he's in the hospital." I felt a wave of relief.

"And the first thing you should know is that Peeta's been getting death threats at the Capitol." I gasped at the news. I stood up to leave the room. "Hey, where are you going?" He grabbed my arm.

"I have to go to the Capitol. Someone has to protect him. He's alone there with no one to watch his back. We always watched each others' back," I stated.

"Sweetheart, did you forget that you are forbidden to leave 12? Are you going to defy Paylor's order?" he said. I closed my eyes in frustration. "Listen, he's safe where he is. Dr. Aurelius have doubled security. He's going to be all right. Besides, he's not alone." I stiffened at his statement. Who? I mouthed. He answered, "Delly Cartwright, his friend from school is working at the hospital. So he isn't completely alone." I cringed, Delly is his friend from childhood, but I couldn't stop the feeling of jealousy overtake me. Where is this feeling of jealousy and possessiveness coming from? I don't know and I snapped myself out of it. I didn't realize that Delly became a nurse after the war. At least I should be relieved that he is not alone.

A week later, I woke up from a dream, gasping for breath as I felt my heart beating loud in my ears. It was unlike any dream I ever had before. I blushed as I realized that I actually had a sex dream…with Peeta…and myself. The dream confused me since I only learned the mechanics of sex in our sex education course in school. Take off clothes, lots of kissing, groping, insert body part, pain and blood and you're done. It seemed not at all that exciting if you ask me. I shook my mind from my dream.

I walked into my kitchen to see Sae and Tamryn with breakfast prepared. I sat down and greeted them both as I realized that Tamryn is not usual exuberant self. She was quiet and sad. "Are you looking forward to your party, Tamryn? It's in two days, isn't it?" I asked.

"I'm not having a party," she answered.

I looked at Sae. "Oh, what happened?" I wondered.

"My classmates are mean and dumb. I hate them," she whined.

"Tamryn," Sae scolded. "Don't talk like that. They're your friends."

"No, there not," she said.

I looked for an explanation from Sae. "Yesterday at recess she told her classmates that her friend, Peeta was going to bake her birthday cake for her party. One of the boys said that he's a traitor. She didn't know what it meant so she asked her teacher. By lunch time, the kids were making fun of her," she explained. "She came home crying and upset and said that she didn't want a party anymore.

"I don't want a party. Peeta's my friend. He's not a traitor," she reiterated, her eyes big brimmed with tears. I have heard the rumors from town. I was horrified and appalled that anyone would think of him as a traitor.

"It's okay, Tamryn. This is what we're going to do. We'll have a small party with me, your grandma and Haymitch on your birthday. What do you think?" I asked.

"What about Peeta? Can he come too?" she asked.

"You know he's still in the hospital." I said.

"I don't want a party. He's promised me that he was coming and was going to make my cake," she said in defiance.

Days passed, on her birthday she arrived with Sae, sullen and withdrawn. We ate breakfast in silence when my front door opened with a bang. Haymitch walked in with four wrapped birthday presents. Their boxes differed in size. I stood up and helped Haymitch with his load as his arms struggled to hold them. Tamryn eyes lit the room. We followed him as walked into the living room and dropped the gifts on a coffee table.

"So I heard that someone is having a birthday today," Haymitch announced. Tamryn looked up at him with a big smile on her face as he placed the gifts in front of her.

"Wait, hold on a second," I said as I rushed out the room and came back with a wrapped gift. "Happy Birthday, Tamryn." She reached over and grabbed my present first. She squealed in laughter as she opened her gift and pulled a fuchsia colored dress fit for a princess. It was a dark pink dress with a skirt made of organza with a round neckline and scoop sleeves. A pink satin sash and back bow on the waistline.

"Thank you, Katniss. It's most beautiful dress I've even seen," she gushed as she hugged me close and then, turned to her grandmother.

"Can I wear this to school today? Please grandma?" she begged. Sae nodded her head.

"Oh, open mine next. This would go well with the dress," Haymitch added. He winced as she screamed again when sees a beautiful white peacoat lined with white fur on the collar. He accepted her hug awkwardly. Sae smiled to herself and looked pleased.

I wondered where the other three gifts came from, but before I could ask, Haymitch opened a card and gives it to Tamryn. She read, "_'Tamryn, Happy Birthday, princess. Sorry I'm couldn't be there with you on your special day. I hope you like your gifts. Love, Peeta_.' She placed the card down on the table and I looked at it, recognizing Peeta's beautiful penmanship. "Grandma, Peeta didn't forget, he didn't forget my birthday," she bawled. She opened the largest gift first, tearing into the wrapping paper with her little hands. Inside was a set of miniature garden tools with a spade, rake, watering pot and dark brown rubber garden boots. Inside the box was a note. _'Please take care of my garden while I am away.'_

"He remembered Grandma. Peeta remembered." Sae proceeded to tell us that Peeta promised her a set of tools of her very own so they would tend his garden together.

She opened up another gift, which consisted of a paint set and collapsible easel designed for a child. Inside included another note, _'To my favorite artist.'_ His last gift was a framed colored charcoal drawing of her, sitting in middle of a field of daisies. "It's me grandma. Peeta drawed a picture of me," she shrieked.

"He drew a picture of you, Tamryn," she corrected.

"That's what I said," she argued as a frown appeared on her brow. "Can I take this to school? I want my classmates to see the picture Peeta drew for me?" she asked. Her smile was infectious.

"Okay, but just be careful with it," she agreed. "When you're in class give it to your teacher for safe keeping." I knew what she was doing. The kids still taunted her and a gift from Peeta was open to careless manhandling from her classmate. Children can be cruel and I know that for a fact. I had known bullying and mean spirited behavior from seam and merchant kids alike. With the crises averted, Tamryn didn't once mention her birthday party.

Suddenly, a ringing interrupted our little gathering. Haymitch reached into his pants pocket and answered a mobile receiver. I didn't realize he owned one until now. Hmmm. I reminded myself later to ask him about it. "Hello, your timing is perfect. Give me a second," he instructed as he pressed a button and placed it on the table. "Tamryn, I have another surprise, say _'hi'_ to Peeta."

I gasped in surprise as I placed a hand in front of my mouth. "Happy Birthday, Tamryn," he announced.

"Peeta!" she screamed so loud I swore that the town had heard it. Haymitch jumped in his seat, Sae smiled so wide in surprise and I tried not to burst into tears.

"How's my girl doing on her birthday? Did you like all your presents?" he asked. His voice wavered a bit. He sounded tired.

"I love them all. When are you coming back? I missed you. I miss you a lot. You are coming back, right?" she asked as she grabbed the receiver.

"I missed you too. I don't know when I'll be back," he said. "But. I'm coming back."

"You promise?" she asked.

"I promise. Besides, don't I owe you a birthday cake?" he teased. I sighed to myself with joy and relief. I knew that once Peeta made a promise, he never broke it.

"Yes, with lots of daisies and a butterfly on top of the cake," she giggled. I heard a soft female voice in the background. "It's time Peeta."

"Okay, I need to hang up now. I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday. You take care of yourself and your grandma for me," he said.

"I will, thank you for my presents. I love you Peeta," she said. "Goodbye."

"Good bye and…," he said as the line goes dead. Tamryn picked up her dress and asked her grandmother to help her put it on for school. They exited the room leaving Haymitch and I alone.

"How did you manage that?" I questioned.

"It wasn't my idea. It's actually Peeta's since he knew he would miss her birthday," he said. Haymitch caught the look of surprise on my face. "Dr. Aurelius called last week saying that Peeta wanted to send her some gifts. He also requested if he could wish her Happy Birthday personally via phone. He thought it would help Peeta if he had a little contact outside of the hospital. He clearly adores Tamryn."

I nodded in agreement. "Have you talked to him? I asked.

Haymitch shook his head, "I've tried on many occasions. This was just an exception. His sessions physically and emotionally drain him and after them, he's unresponsive for the rest of the day. Aurelius has restricted any contact besides himself and Delly. This is the first I've heard his voice since I dropped him off on the train weeks ago."

"He sounded good, but tired," I commented. I wished I had an opportunity to talk to him, but then I realized that I wouldn't know what to say since we never spoke while he was here.

"Dr. Aurelius said that his recovery looks promising. He won't tell me about his sessions. Doctor's confidentiality rules, I guess." I don't understand what that meant as he continued. "And, since I'm not family, he can't divulge anything except that he's okay and safe. Having Delly there helps." I winced and turned my head so he can't see my reaction.

Days crept by and life in District 12 moved forward. Everyday, Haymitch would tell me news about Peeta. It's been 3 weeks since his departure. I miss him. I think of the moments we shared, though they were a few. I tried to remember the touch of his hand on the small of my back, hands clasped together during our interview or whenever he escorted me to an event. His eyes were always open and expressive that I had to look away. I remembered the look of admiration in his eyes when I entered the room and the lingering look as I left it. Some nights I'm assaulted with nightmares while others are dreams of Peeta and I touching and caressing each other. His touch felt real as he held me in his arms, my breasts pressed close to his hard chest that I wake up clutching my pillow. These feeling that has surfaced had awakened an ache that I have not felt since our time together at the beach. I suppressed those feelings when I thought I had lost Peeta forever after his abduction. With the passage of time and distance, I have opened my eyes for the first time to see Peeta. For who he was and what he meant to me. I don't know if I love Peeta, like my mom loved my dad, but I know that I care about him, I worry for his safety and I miss him. I need time to figure it out.

One day as I sat in bedroom looking out my window, I watched a female figure appear at Haymitch's doorstep. The woman with bright red hair knocked on his door and waited. She launched her arms around him as soon as he opened the door. Surprised for a moment, he returned the embrace. A few words were spoken, a loud laugh and she walked into his home. I tried not to be nosy as I noticed that she remained for an hour. Soon, his door opened and they left his home. I ducked behind my curtains in hopes that Haymitch did not catch me spying on him. They headed towards Peeta's house and entered. Half an hour later, a large delivery truck arrived and both Haymitch and the mystery woman met the driver as he exited his vehicle.

Two week priors, I watched as Thom and Benj, the new furniture store owner to load all of Peeta's furniture that he had donated.

I was hurt that everyone knew of Peeta's plans from Haymitch, to Sae and Thom. I felt left out. I looked closer to the woman invading Peeta's home when I realizde that it is no other than Johanna Mason.

I haven't seen or heard from Johanna for close to a year. My relationship with her is lukewarm at best. Next thing I knew my feet flew from my room, down the stairs and out my door. Once outside, I approached them. Her back was turned as she spoke to the driver and delivery crew giving them directions to where each piece was placed. Haymitch's eyes bulged as he saw me approach them.

"Hey, Johanna," I greeted. She turned around, eyed me up and down.

"Hello, Everdeen. Long time so see,' she returned.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as I watched two men carry a king size mattress inside Peeta's house.

"I'll be staying at Peet's house for with next few days overseeing the delivery of his furniture that he ordered from my district. Make sure that everything is delivered in pristine condition," she said. "Hey, that goes inside the master bedroom; upstairs down the hall, the room on the left," she instructed as the workers head inside the house. I frown in surprised wondering how she knew that.

"Does Peeta know you're here? I asked, feeling left out yet again.

"We made arrangements long before he went back to the Capitol. I even helped him pick out his bedroom furniture," she implied. First Delly and now Johanna, he had reconnected with people in his life. I pondered if Effie made that list.

We all stood in there in front of Peeta's home in awkward silence. "So...," Haymitch started.

"I'd like to stand here and continue this reunion, but I should go inside and make sure these lunkheads don't scratch or break anything. Can't trust day workers these days," Johanna interrupted as she turned and walked away. "Everdeen," she yelled once she crossed the door way to Peeta's house, "we'll catch up later before I leave. We need to get to together, you know for some…'girl talk'." She turned and walked further into the house. I didn't like her invitation. I was not looking forward to having any _'girl talk'_ with her.

"Katniss, I didn't know she was coming. Really. I'm just as surprised as you are," he stated. I knew that was true since I saw the look on his as he opened his door an hour before. I felt annoyed and frustrated at Johanna's presence in 12. The world around me had moved forward and I felt left behind. I had no right to be angry since I hid myself from everyone and everything after the war. It's my own fault that I am and alone with a mentor, an elderly woman and her granddaughter as my only friends. Any communication outside 12 I ignored. A list of people popped into my head. Annie, Delly and Gale attempted to contact me via letters and calls I have all dismissed. Their presence in my life at the time brought too many painful memories of the war and most of all, Prim. Peeta who is my neighbor and friend I've all but avoided since his return. I told myself that I wanted to do more than survive; I needed to move forward. It was time that I faced the world. I didn't think it would start with Johanna Mason.

For close to a week Johanna stayed at Peeta's house. She visited the town, had nightly dinners with Haymitch and managed to become friends with both Sae and Tamryn. The townspeople in 12 avoided her. It seemed that she too was tagged a traitor like Peeta. She looked deadly and formidable with the long, thick knife sheathed on her left leg. She wore a black ensemble of leather pants, long sleeve t-shirt and leather vest. She also wore knee length black, steel plated boots over her pants. She was left alone.

Everywhere she went in 12, people stared, whispered amongst themselves. They talked about her for weeks even after her arrival. The newest rumor was that she was now Peeta's lover. It seemed that they had bonded after Peeta betrayed me during the rebellion. The star-crossed lovers love life was still popular and newsworthy.

During her visit, Tamryn, dressed in her garden boots while holding her watering can, and I would watered his plants. I never invited myself to his home. It didn't feel right without him there or accepting Johanna's invitation even when I was dying to know how his home looked inside.

On the last night of her visit, I joined Haymitch and Johanna for dinner. "The place looked great, Johanna. I bet Peeta's not going to recognize it when he gets back," Haymitch mentioned as he shoved a spoonful of lamb stew into his mouth after taking a big bite of bread. I shouldn't be surprised or jealous that he was in Peeta's home.

"I guess my training wasn't wasted after all these years," she commented as she played with her meal, swirling her spoon in her dinner bowl. I looked at her in surprised, a question in my eyes. "I attended interior design classes in District 7. I was close to graduating before I was reaped." It made sense since District 7 main manufacturing was lumber. Furniture building as well as carpentry was the main occupation. She had a wistful look about her. It was a disturbing contrast to her look of melancholy as she was dressed in her black ensemble, her knife still attached to her leg. She never left without it. I bet she even slept with it under her pillow. There was a softness in her face, I have never seen before. Maybe I haven't seen it because I wasn't looking. Just like I never really looked at Peeta.

"How's your district doing? Any problems like 4 and 6?" Haymitch questioned. I didn't know what they were talking about. His questioned snapped Johanna from her state when she realized I was clueless to the activity outside 12.

"Figures," she smirked at me. "Still living in your own little bubble."

"She doesn't know and you can't blame her," Haymitch added. They spoke as if I wasn't present in the room. "She doesn't need to do anything anymore. She's done enough."

"People looked up to her, followed her to war. She should at least know what's happening outside 12," she corrected without malice or anger. Just resignation. "They need to know that she's okay and healing too. She just can't disappear from the world."

"Johanna…" Haymitch voiced.

"I don't know what you two are talking about. But she's right, Haymitch," I added. I turned to Johanna. "I've been recovering in 12, licking my wounds. I'm sorry that I couldn't recover fast enough for you. I didn't want to be the symbol of the rebellion. I didn't want that burden on my shoulders, but I accepted it reluctantly. I lost my sister, my mother, my best friend and I lost…so forgive me for trying to heal on my own time and away from everyone."

"I'm sorry for your loss. I know that you were forced to be the Mockingjay. It wasn't a role I envied. But the districts lost as much as you. You survived, Katniss. With all the odds against you, you survived, two games and a rebellion. The war may be over but Panem is still looking at you, to help heal them, to let tell them that after everything we all went through, it was worth it. It is worth it."

I mulled over her words. "So tell me, what have I been missing?" I asked.

She stands up, "Come on, I need you to see something," she gestured as she walked over to Haymitch's viewing room and turned on his monitor.

'…_I'm standing in District 4 live with a crowd of angry citizens in front of their Justice Building,' _I see a news reporter from the Capitol standing in front of camera with microphone in his hand. Behind him are the new Guardsmen in heavy gear armed with tasers standing in the street as a large crowd stand before them. _'The protests and stand off have been going on for hours. The looting was stopped hours before but the angry crowd has not abated.' _He stopped as he placed a hand to his ears, listening into his ear mic. _'Hold on a second… 1__st__ Guardsmen Hawthorne will be addressing the crowd in a few seconds.'_

I gasped. I haven't seen or heard from Gale since my return. My stomach churned as I will be seeing him for the first time. The reporter turned around just as Gale came into view. He is handsome in his all black military Guardsmen gear. A complete reversal of the Peacekeeper uniform. It's design reflected the rebel gear from District 13 during the war. Gale stood tall, proud and fit. He sported a beard that covered his boyish face. I would have to have been blind not to acknowledge that he was handsome back before I was reaped, but thoughts like that I couldn't afford. He was my friend and hunting partner. I didn't think of him that way. It wasn't until I met Peeta who aroused new feelings he awakened in me.

'_People of District 4 please step back and go home. This is not the solution to your grievances. We have just risen from a war that tore our nation apart. We fought against the Capitol, from their greed and tyranny. Please do not fight amongst ourselves. Go home to your families, hold on to them and try to build a better future. Give yourself time to heal.'_ Some of the crowd dispersed while the majority stayed behind. Gale stood with his guards, his men ready at a moments noticed. _'That was 1__st__ Guardsmen Gale Hawthorne addressing a disgruntled crowd in District 4 commerce sector. I'm Arn DeVille I'm here in live at District 4. I will give you more updates in a few moments after a commercial break.'_ Johanna turned off the monitor.

I'm shocked and surprised. I was impressed by Gale's speech but I knew that they were words written by Heavensbee. I recognized his style.

"That's what has been happening while you were recovering in 12," Johanna interrupted. "Small looting parties have surfaced in 6 and 9. People are angry because they feel slighted and neglected. They feel that every district deserved to be compensated, why is 12 getting the full benefit after the war with the new town and new beginning?"

"I didn't know." I admitted.

"You mean you didn't want to know," Johanna stated. "I understand that you went through a lot even before the reaping. We all have. We didn't sacrifice so many lives and suffered so many losses to stop living, Katniss. We freed the districts from the Capitol but the scars and wounds are still there. You were their hope and savior, you still are. People still look up to you for guidance. You are and always will be the Mockingjay. This nation will heal as long as you do the same. I'm not asking to be in the line of fire again. I just want you to be aware of what is ahead of us. All of us."

"You don't owe anyone anything," Haymitch added. "We need to heal together. You are not alone in this, Katniss." That night we all cried together. No big hugs and kisses, but I came back with a new understanding and respect for Johanna. We may not be friends, but I am happy she is in my life. If she is in Peeta's life, I want her to me in mine too. Maybe in time, we will be. I think Peeta will like that.

Days later, I stood at the train platform. I am a few yards away from Haymitch, Sae and Tamryn who were there to greet him. I knew that Peeta was returning today and I wanted to see him, surprise him and welcome him home since I didn't have the courage the last time he came back. So Haymitch isn't aware of my presence. I needed to do this on my own. I'm nervous, scared and excited at the same time. I dressed for him today. I wore an orange dress with dark brown flats and my hair in a braid. I must be a sight standing on the platform, wearing a dress as I clutched an arrangement of flowers in my hands. People are staring at me but I ignore them. I had a mission. After my talk with Johanna the night she left, I mulled over her words of concern over Peeta's mental welfare. It was a rude awakening as she voiced her feelings of my relationship with Peeta. A conversation I wrestled with myself that had opened my eyes clearly.

I hear the whistle of the train arriving. I strangled the bunch of dandelion with both my hands in front of me. My heart is beating fast. My is mouth dry. I'm so excited that I don't see Gale as he exited the luxury compartments situated in front of the train. "Catnip," he yelled. My name doesn't register, I just see Peeta as he disembarked from the train. I don't acknowledge the people behind him.

The next thing I knew, Gale had his large arms around me, lifting me into the air as he swung me in a circular motion. I'm not even aware that I had dropped the flower on the ground. He stopped and placed me on the ground. I gasped, "Gale." He smiled so wide in surprise and joy. He dipped his head down and kissed me. I was so shocked that I froze for a moment, my hands on his upper arms. I heard a gasp behind Gale as he released me. I see Delly, Johanna and Peeta staring at us with Haymitch, Sae and Tamryn behind them. Delly looked disappointed. Johanna's death glare etched on her face and Peeta, his eyes sad and resigned. "Oh, shit," I cursed.


	7. Chapter 7 - The Reunion

Chapter 7 – The Reunion of the Star Crossed Lovers

_**AN: To my reviewers, you guys are the best. To my fellow writers/reviewers, thanks for the kind words of encouragement. This chapter Haymitch, Katniss and Delly POVs.**_

**Haymitch POV – **

I felt a sense of déjà vu standing at the train platform, waiting for Peeta. I remembered how sad I felt that there was no one but me to welcome him home the first time. The reception was awkward, subdued and painful. It revealed to me what I had lost with Peeta, his trust and friendship. Two things I knew I needed to earn back. So on this occasion I have decided to get back up. I brought Sae and Tamryn along to welcome Peeta back home. An act of cowardice and self-preservation, you bet. I needed all the help I can get. My thoughts are interrupted as I hear the whistle of train approaching. Tamryn is bouncing on her heals. She missed him. A lot. Every single day all she asked was when he was coming home. I don't blame her since I did the same with Dr. Aurelius in our daily phone conversations.

The trained stopped. Flocks of people from all districts are migrating to 12. I tried not to think of the thousands who died in order for 12 to have a new life after the rebellion. A few who had survived managed to come back, to start over. Tamryn pulled on my leg pants. "Can you see him, Mr. Abernathy?" she asked. She held a bunch of hand-picked daisies in her hand with a sloppy bow wrapped around it.

"Not yet, kid." I answered as I strained my neck to search for him. The crowd thinned out and I started to panic wondering if he made it. He had left a few days ago and decided to make a stop to see Johanna. I felt comforted that she had his back and would make sure he got back on the train after his visit. However, a lot can happen between 7 and 12. What if something happened to him? I remembered Dr. Aurelius telling me of the security breach on Peeta's floor and the rose that was left behind on his door. This was a pressing issue that I had not resolved - his safety back in 12 and the Victor's village. I'll need to discuss that with Peeta.

'_I should have gone to the Capitol and picked him up,'_ I scolded myself as he doesn't appear. At last, I see him, blond curls peek out from under his cap indicating that he's in need of a haircut. His eyes roamed the crowd searching. I was about to call him out when I hear a voice ring into the air.

"Catnip?" Gale yelled. I turned to see him run out of the train and head towards…Katniss? I didn't realize that she was here. When I told her that Peeta was arriving today, she just shook her and thanked me for letting her know. Is this why she didn't want to come with us? She was here to meet Gale? What the hell?

So let me tell you, I have experienced and seen many horrific events in my life. What unraveled right before my eyes was a train wreck. I watched as Gale reached Katniss, picked her up in his arms in what appeared to be a long awaited reunion between lovers. Then, he placed her on the floor and kissed her. Katniss appeared shell-shocked as she gasped his name. Within seconds she looked straight at us or more likely to Peeta. I turned to see Peeta who dropped his duffel bag, his eyes sad as he stared at the two for a few seconds. Then, his eyes glazed over as he placed both hands over his ears chanting, _'not real, not real'_ over and over.

"What the fuck?" Johanna exclaimed, her eyes dark and murderous as she stared at Katniss and Gale.

"Grandma, the lady said a bad word," Tamryn gasped. Sae grabbed Tamryn with a confused look on her face as she shushed her.

"Not real, not real, not real," Peeta continued as he rocked back and forth. Delly walked in front of him and placed her hands on his head and looked straight into his eyes.

"Real, Peeta. Real," she confirmed in a soft tone. "Look at me."

"Delly!" Both Johanna and I screamed. "What the hell are you doing?" I roared as Peeta's eyes bulged, his hands dropped to his sides.

"Shut up, both of you," Delly instructed. "I know what I'm doing." She grabbed Peeta's left arm. I then noticed a silver band wrapped around his wrist.

"The hell you do, you're going to make him have an episode," I barked. Peeta's eyes went from confusion to fear. His lips trembled. His hands shook as his eyes targeted on Katniss blinking.

"What? Do you want me to lie to him?" she interjected as she continued to look into the wristband. A light on his band went from green to light yellow in seconds.

"Yes!" I exploded, "he can't have an episode in the middle of the platform in front of all these people." I looked around and sure enough, people are staring and whispering round us. I turned to Sae as she held Tamryn. The poor girl was crying. "Take her home. She shouldn't be here."

"I don't want to go home, I want to help Peeta," she cried as she remembered Peeta's episode weeks before.

"Go!" I bellowed. Sae picked Tamryn up and walked off the platform with her crying out to Peeta.

"This is real, he has to face it now or he never will," Delly said as she faced Haymitch. She was right if Katniss had chosen Gale, Peeta would find out sooner or later. But damn Katniss for picking this moment to have her reunion in front of Peeta. It was heartless and cruel.

I looked to see what Katniss was doing. I was surprised. She struggled against Gale as he held on to her. She was yelling at him. Tears running down her face. "Let go of me," she bellowed as Gale kept a hard grip on her arms. "Let go!"

Delly kept a hold of Peeta's left arm. "Real, Peeta. Real," she insisted as she placed a hand on his cheek.

"Peeta!" Katniss screamed. Her scream caught Peeta's attention. His eyes glazed over as he turned to see Katniss struggling with Gale. His demeanor changed in an instant. He broke free from Delly and ran towards her. Peeta pulled Gale by the arm freeing Katniss from his grip. "Don't touch her," Peeta snarled. "Stay away from her, you mutt." Peeta's eyes were dark and angry.

Gale stepped over and shoved him hard causing Peeta to stumble. "Make me, Mellark," he taunted, his eyes threatening and hard.

Before Peeta reacted, I grabbed him from the waist and pulled him away. He kicked his arms and legs trying to break free. Delly had her arms wrapped around Katniss as Johanna stood between Gale and me. "Fuck Katniss, did you have to do that if front of him?" I spat. I was so mad at her for being insensitive to Peeta's feelings.

"I didn't mean for this to happen," she cried.

"Katniss, Katniss," Peeta screamed. "Katniss. Let go of me. Katniss!"

"Peeta," Katniss bawled as tears ran down her cheeks. "Peeta." Delly held on to her as Peeta struggled in my arms. Then, suddenly his body slumped and he dropped on the ground. Without a thought, I picked him up and carried him away, running towards the Victors Village. I can hear Katniss screaming Peeta's name from a distance.

* * *

**Katniss POV – **

I watched as Haymitch picked up Peeta's unconscious body and head home. My throat is tight and my eyes burned from crying. Delly released her hold and looked back at me with sadness and sympathy. "Hey, Katniss," she greeted. "He'll be okay, I'll take good care of him for you." I am tired and speechless as she turned and walked away.

My eyes meet with Johanna's, unforgiving and angry. "Everdeen, sorry to interrupt your happy reunion," she sneered as she looked at Gale behind me. Her eyes returned to mine. "You're a real piece of work, you know that?"

"Back off, Mason," Gale interrupted. "Go take care of Mellark, leave us Katniss alone."

Johanna's eyes left mine as she looked at Gale, "One piece of advice, Hawthorne. Stay away from Peeta. You'll answer to me if you don't," she promised as she turned to me. "Same goes for you." She spat and walked away.

Dumbstruck, I can't believe what had happened. Whatever happiness I felt was dashed within seconds. When I first saw Peeta get off the train, I felt joy and excited to finally see, touch him if he'd let me. My blood ran cold as I hear Gale from behind me. "Catnip?" he said.

I saw red. I turned to him and stared into his eyes. "Catnip?" he repeated. He stood there with a smile on his face.

During my training in the games, Haymitch had once told me that when I am feeling trapped, stressed and angry, I react without thinking. I have_'no impulse control.'_ I remembered how I reacted when Peeta revealed to all of Panem, his crush on me. Without thinking, I shoved him against the wall, hurting him. So without considering the consequences, I swung my right arm and punched Gale right in the face so hard he reeled backwards. My hand felt numb that I'm sure that I sprained it. Once the adrenaline wears off I'll feel the pain. Right now, my pain radiates elsewhere. In my chest.

The crowd around us gasped in horror. "Shit, Katniss! What was that for?" he whined as he cupped his nose that started to swell with blood dripping from it.

"That was for Peeta," I yelled d as I stepped forward and shoved him. "For hurting him. For ruining everything!"

"He could have hurt you," he stated, justifying his behavior. "Did you see his face? He was just like in 13, crazy and uncontrollable."

"He wasn't coming after me, you idiot," I corrected. "Who the hell do you think you are to just come here and grab me like that? And then kiss me?" I shrieked. I'm so livid I can't think straight. All I see is Peeta and how he reacted in seeing Gale kiss me.

"When I saw you," he explained. "I thought…"

"Though what, that I was waiting for YOU?" I bellowed in disgust. "I haven't seen or talked to you for months!"

"Well, whose fault is that?" he yelled back. "I've tried calling you, I wrote letters that you returned. I've been trying to talk to you and you won't see me."

"Because I don't want to see you!" I roared. I don't acknowledge the hurt and sad look on his face. I'm so angry that I'm closed to tears. I am not about to cry over Gale and his assumptions. I looked around and I noticed the people around me are watching and taking video of my confrontation with Gale. Great, even though there is media access to 12 that didn't stop people from taking pictures and video of me wherever I went. Damn the new technology accessible to everyone. Horrified that my life is again televised to the public, I turned and walked away from Gale, I walked back angry, frustrated and alone.

Hours later, the media got hold of my altercation with Gale. The incident was televised all night reporting that the Star Crossed lovers is now involved in a love triangle. It was humiliating. I hope that Peeta isn't watching the news. I hid in my home. I didn't want to see or talk to anyone. Gale attempted to talk to me. I slammed the door on his face the first time he appeared on my doorstep. He knew better to try it again.

I'm standing at the edge of the woods in a middle of the rain. I haven't been able to hunt or visit the woods since my return to 12. I couldn't stand staying in my home any longer so I decided to take a walk. My feet led me here. I am wet, cold and miserable. It's been 3 days since my disastrous reunion with Peeta. My hopes to be reunited with him are squashed. I haven't been able to see or talk to him. His ever-faithful watchdog, Johanna won't let me near him. The day after the incident I went over to see him when she appeared at his door, blocking the way. She told me to not to come near him or talk to him. I guess I can't blame her. I remember the conversation we had the night before she went back to 7. That night we came into an understanding, as she imparted her words of wisdom. The night she left and gave us her blessing and a warning.

* * *

_**Flashback, weeks prior before Peeta's return –**_

Johanna and I left Haymitch's home in a somber mood. She had opened my eyes to the world that I had ignored since my return to 12. I swore to myself that I would try to be better. I know that Prim would want that for me. As I made it to my house, Johanna addressed me. "So, before I leave, I thought we should have that 'girl talk' I mentioned while back," she snickered. Talking to Johanna is something I didn't look forward to. My conversations with her are either embarrassing or humiliating but in most cases they're both. I led her to my living room. She eyed the room for a moment. "You should redecorate. There's nothing like exorcising ghosts from your house," she suggested.

"Do you want water or juice? I don't have alcohol in my house," I asked, remembering my manners. Effie would be very proud of me.

"No thanks, I had enough at Haymitch's. I need a clear head when I get on the train tomorrow" she explained. I sat down a chair away from Johanna as she sat herself on the sofa. "So, Peeta is coming home in a few days." She started with no warning or preamble. "I don't know when exactly, but it's soon."

"You've talked to him?" I asked as jealousy filled my mind. How would she know that? Did Haymitch? Why wouldn't be tell me?

"No, Delly told me," she said. She's friends with Delly? "Haymitch doesn't know if you're wondering." I felt as though she read my mind. It unnerved me. "So, I'll get to the point…Peeta's my friend, you can say that after what we've been through…he's my best friend. I don't have a lot of those so what I say to you I say with good intentions. He means a lot to me. I don't ever want anyone to hurt him."

'_How dare she think that I would ever hurt Peeta in any way.' _I fumed. "You need to make up your mind of what he means to you. The Peeta we have now is different, but the same. However, he's not the same Peeta that ran after you, waiting for little crumbs here and there for your attention. So I'm telling you right now…you take him or leave him."

I am astounded by her bluntness. "If you want him, then you need show him. I know that you're not good with words. Peeta has always been able to understand that. So what you lack in words, you need to show him of what he means to you. And if you mean to keep him and love him the way he deserved to be loved, show him every day for the rest of your life. Your life together will be hard. You both are former tributes and victors from the games. You are the Star-Crossed lovers of the 74th Hunger Games. Your lives are in a fish bowl for all the world to see. What you and he have together is a gift. Don't deny him or yourself what the world has known since the games. You won't be disappointed. He won't disappoint you." I smiled at Johanna. Her faith in us is encouraging.

"However, if you don't want him the way he's always wanted you, you have to let him go. You need to. If that's the case, you need to look him in the eye and use words that he can fully understand. Make it quick and crystal clear of what needs to be said. Don't ask for friendship, don't string him along in your life as his friend. Cut him off from your life completely; find a way to crush that little boy who had loved you since he was 5. You need to kill that part of him that's been devoted to you since he's laid his eyes on you. End it so painfully and swiftly that he has no choice but to move on from you because it's the only way he'll ever get over you."

"Who the hell do you think you are to dictate my life?" I seethed. I can't fathom her audacity, the presumption to tell me what to do with Peeta or how I feel about him. "You're not his keeper."

"No, but I love him, I love him as a friend," she corrected. "Can you say the same?"

I'm dumbstruck and speechless. Lost for words, I remained silent. "I love him enough to protect him. I know that you care are about him. You would be heartless if you didn't. And I know you're not. You were forced together as allies and tributes, but in your time together, has he ever been your friend?" A look of sympathy crossed her face. "Don't hurt him anymore. Make up your mind before he gets here. If you need more time," she warned, "stay away from him until you know what you really want."

"And what if Peeta wants to be friends?" I asked implying that even if I don't love him, Peeta might still want a friendship with me.

"Then, I'll do whatever it takes to help him get over you. Friendship is last thing he needs from you," she added.

"And what is your friendship based on, your time in the Capitol made you what…torture buddies?" I retaliated. It was mean and uncalled for but I was too angry to hold my tongue. I didn't realize how much my friendship with Peeta meant to me. Were we even friends?

"Lash out all you want, you need to hear the hard truths. My grandma told me something once about love. I never understood it. Until now. _'To be loved by someone, it's a gift, but to love someone, it takes courage.' _

* * *

**Present time – **

So in perspective I can't blame Johanna for being protective over Peeta. In her eyes I've strung him along. Never committing to him in any way either in friendship or in love. I used Gale when I thought I lost Peeta. And when Peeta came back damaged and broken, I sought Gale for comfort. I abandoned him. After our talk, she assumed I chose Gale.

As for Gale, I don't even think about him. When I do, all I can think about is how he ruined my chance with Peeta. Sae told me that he hasn't left 12. I've heard that Hazelle and her family are returning and Gale was back to secure their residency. In the meantime, I hid in my home, cried myself to sleep and had my own little pity party. Once I get over my humiliation and anger, I need to find a way to fix my relationship not just with Peeta but with Johanna too.

Maybe I can get Delly to help me.

So while I'm in the middle of my pity fest, I don't see Tamryn with Peeta holding his hand. Not far behind is Johanna and Delly trailing behind them.

"Katniss," Tamryn shrieked while she dragged Peeta with her. I didn't notice that it stopped raining. The sun began to peek from behind the clouds. The air is crisp and cold. The sunrays shine behind Peeta making his blond curls glow. He looked like an angel. He took my breath away. They are both wearing rain gear with Peeta holding a bright yellow polka dot umbrella with his free hand, while I wore a simple jacket, pants and boots. They were adorable.

Hi, Tamryn," I greeted and smiled at the both of them.

I see Peeta's shocked look on his face. It vanished once they reached me. "You're all wet, Katniss," she giggled. "Did you forget your umbrella?"

"I know. I left it at home. I was taking a walk when it started to rain," I explained as I looked at Peeta. He looked everywhere but me. "Hi, Peeta."

"Hi, Katniss," he said in a whisper. Behind him, I see Delly holding onto Johanna's arm.

"Hey, why aren't you in school?" I asked.

"It's Parent-Teacher Day," Tamryn explained. "Grandma had to go school today."

"Oh, I see," I said. I remembered those days since my mother missed most of them after my dad passed away. Her grief kept her away from Prim and me that I took the role of parent at a young age.

"I get to stay with Peeta. We went to your house but your weren't there," she said. "I want to invite you to my birthday party," she gushed. I looked at Peeta.

"I promised her a birthday cake and what's a birthday cake without a party," he explained. "It'll be in 3 days at my house around noon. She's inviting all her friends from school."

"You're coming right?" she asked.

"Of course, Tam, I wouldn't miss it for the world," I replied.

The morning of Tamryn's party I had emptied out my closest after trying 6 dresses, 7 blouses and 6 skirts. As for shoes, I decided for comfort than for style. I didn't have many clothes days before the party. Everything I owned was lost during the rebellion. It took a desperate phone conversation with Effie for me to acquire my new and meager wardrobe. I laughed when Effie gushed of my reason for my new clothes. After our conversation and with a promise to keep in touch, she mailed me new clothes including undergarments that made me blush red. I stuffed the unmentionables on the closet floor. Maybe if I'm lucky I would show it for Peeta. One day.

Prim would have been amused and proud of my girlish behavior. It's not like Peeta asked me out on a date, but HE was going to be there. There was no way he can avoid me since the party is held in his house. I'm anxious and giddy at the same time. I've never felt like this before. This was it, my chance to see Peeta and talk to him. I swore I would find the time to pull him aside and explain what happened at the train station. I know it's inexcusable to be using Tamryn's party as a way to talk to Peeta, but how else am I going to get him alone when he's always with Johanna or Delly.

After an hour of dressing and undressing some more, I decided on wearing a simple orange blouse with dark brown skirt and knee hi boots. I can't look at the dress I wore at the train station ever again without remembering the look on Peeta's face. I should burn it.

I walked the short distance to Peeta's house and knocked on his door. And as usual, it's Johanna who answered it. She had scowl on her face.

"Katniss, oh my it's been so long since I've seen you," Delly squealed as she embraced me. "Come on in, make yourself comfortable." She led me to the living room which was decorated with pink balloons, and a large sign, _'Happy Birthday, Tamryn'_ on one wall. The room looked cozy and comfortable with large overstuffed furniture that contrasted to my Capitol minimalist furnishings in my home. There was large area rug that almost covered the living room floor. I can see Peeta everywhere in the room from the lamps to the small floral vases that decorated each end table. The room was painted a faint yellow. There are no paintings on the wall. Though our houses are built and decorated the same from the interior to the exterior, Peeta had replaced everything that came from the Capitol. In his dining room, on the large oak table is Tamryn's cake. It is a tall 3 layer tiered cake decorated with daisies made of frosting. On top is a beautiful sugar sculpted butterfly. It was exquisite.

I looked around hoping to see him but he is nowhere in sight. "He's upstairs getting ready. It's been a long couple of days," Delly said as if she read my mind. "He worked really hard to make Tamryn's cake perfect."

"The cake is beautiful, Delly," I commented. I see a wistful look on her face. Johanna had disappeared after closing the door behind us.

"He finished the cake about 3 this morning. It took him all night making each of those daisies on the cake," she added.

"How is he, Delly?" I asked.

"Baking the cake was really difficult for him. But beyond that, he's good," she said. "Katniss, just be very patient with him, okay? I don't know what's going on between you and Gale, just don't upset him."

"Delly, the last thing I ever want to do is upset him. I'm not here to hurt him. I know this isn't the proper time, but do you think he'd be okay to talk to me?" I asked. "I've been meaning to talk to him but every chance I get, Johanna is there to stop me."

"She's just worried about him. We all are," Delly explained. "Listen, I'll try to get you some alone time with Peeta. But in the meantime, there's a birthday party we have to get started. As soon as the birthday girl gets her, that is."

"Where is she? I thought she'd be here by now," I observed.

"She and Sae are on the way," she said. "They should be here by now." And as she finished Tamryn walked through the door in the dress I gave her for her birthday with a harried Sae behind her. Delly greeted them hello as they walked into the room.

"Katniss, you're here," she squealed. "Where's Peeta?" She looked about the room then eyed her cake. "Is that my cake? It's so pretty."

I turned to see Peeta and Johanna walked down the stairs. He wore a dark blue dress shirt that brought out his eyes, and dark brown pants and boots. You would have thought that we had coordinated our wardrobe together. He was still too thin as his clothes looked large on him. His long hair is slicked back. He looked tired from staying up all night. Johanna is dressed in her usual black ensemble minus knife on her leg.

"Peeta, my cake is so pretty. Thank you. Thank you," she exclaimed as she hugged him around his legs. He winced when she pulled away from him to goggle over her cake again. "All my classmates are going to be so jealous when they see the cake Peeta made me." Delly and Sae walked over to the table. "Johanna, did you see my cake." She pulled her by the hand leaving Peeta and I alone. There's an awkward silence between us.

"Hey, Peeta. The cake looks great. You really did a great job," I complimented him.

"Thanks, I just hope it tastes okay. I've haven't baked a cake since Finnick's wedding," he said. "Thank you for coming. I didn't know if you would come…," Peeta said stumbling with his words.

"I told Tamryn I would. Besides, I came here for the cake," I teased. My attempt for humor goes flat as Peeta looked at Tamryn. He had a melancholy look on his face.

"What wrong, Peeta?" I asked. I wondered if baking the cake brought painful memories of his family and the bakery.

"I just want this day to be perfect for Tamryn. I feel bad that she waited this long to have her party," he said.

"Don't feel bad. She would have waited forever. She just wanted you home," I said_. 'Me too,' _my mind echoed as I looked at him.

"She's a great kid, sort of reminded me of someone," he sighed. I looked at Tamryn and realized with her long dark hair in a braid and her hazel eyes, she reminded me of myself at that age.

"Listen, Peeta, I was wondering if we could talk later...," I asked. Before I could continue, there's a knock on the door as guests arrived for the party.

Hours later, I watched Peeta during the party. If he wasn't standing and talking to Delly, he would socialize with Sae and Johanna. The parents of Tamryn's classmates were civil but not friendly to him. Even Haymitch behaved, moody but sober as he enjoyed the lunch that was served. All afternoon, I noticed him watching me. I haven't spoken to him at all. I was too embarrassed and hurt that he would accuse me of hurting Peeta.

When it came time to open the gifts, Tamryn pulled Peeta, Sae and I to sit beside her; Sae on her right and Peeta and I to her left. I tried not to fidget as Peeta sat to my left, his leg would brush against mine. Peeta was also next to me when Tamryn cut her cake. I helped Peeta serve cake and ice cream as he played the perfect host to his guests. The ice cream became a big hit with her classmate because before the rebellion only the rich can afford it. It was not a luxury that even the Merchants of 12 could afford. His proximity was comforting and overwhelming at the same time. We were polite and cordial to each other all afternoon. It felt like we were back in the Capitol playing a part in front of a camera. I felt sick to my stomach when I realized that Peeta could barely look me in the eye. I could see the sympathetic look in Delly's face and the worry in Johanna's.

Soon the party died down, as each child left Tamryn and Peeta would hand them a small gift bag. I wondered which district tradition the gift bag came from. Probably 1 or the Capitol. Tamryn and Sae soon left afterwards with Haymitch trailing along with all her gifts to be carried home. Once the guests were gone, I stayed to help clean up. Peeta and Johanna worked in the kitchen washing dishes while Delly and I cleared the table and wrapped the leftovers. I can hear Peeta and Johanna in the kitchen talking.

"Peet, you've been up all morning. You're exhausted. Delly and I can take care of the mess," Johanna said.

"I'm too wired. Besides, you know I can't sleep and when I do I get…," Peeta admitted.

"You've been awake for almost 3 days. You need sleep," she insisted. "If you don't, I'm going to you knock you over the head." He laughed. "I'm serious." The tone in her voice meant business.

"Johanna, please don't. I'll sleep tonight, I promise. I just can't right now," he sounded like a little boy who had been scolded.

"Is it because of her?" she asked. "She shouldn't be here if she's just upsetting you."

"No, it's not about her," he stated. "Not completely. She came, Johanna. She's here in my house."

"Yes, she's real and you're agitated," she said.

"I keep wondering if she's real or not. I'm wondering if I'm dreaming again," he admitted.

"Don't push yourself, Peet. You're still recovering from your treatments and yes, you're better, but you need to slow down," she said. "Go rest."

"Thank you for standing by me, Seven," Peeta quipped. 7 must be her nickname. "I couldn't have done this without you and Delly." I walked over to the kitchen doorway and watched them with their backs facing me. He wiped his hands with a kitchen towel.

"Okay, you must be feeling better, Twelve. You're getting mushy and all. If you don't get some sleep soon, I'm gonna beat you unconscious," she warned, her voice teasing. She bumped him by the shoulders. "Hey, let me take over KP duty. Take my offer I don't make it often." She shoved him out of the way. "Take a breather, get some fresh air." She pointed to a wooden bench outside in his garden. I watched him walk out the back door. "Hey, Mellark," Johanna called out, "I hate you, okay?"

He smiled back smirking, "I hate you too, Mason."

"Hey," Delly said. I gasped when I find her beside me trying not to look guilty for spying on Peeta and Johanna. "Are you okay?" I nodded my head. "Where's Peeta?" she asked as she craned her neck looking for him.

"Out back," I said.

"Well, that's your chance," she smiled encouraging me.

"What about?" I said as I pointed at Johanna in the kitchen.

"I'll handle Johanna. Go!" she ordered giving a slight shove. I walked outside to see Peeta resting on a wooden bench in front of his empty garden. He staring at a post with a hand painted sun on a wood board in the middle of the yard.

"Hey, Peeta. Would it be okay if I sat down with you?" I asked. He nodded his head as his eyes looked down on the ground. "It was a great party. You made Tamryn very happy and popular today. The kids couldn't stop talking about the cake and ice cream. Everyone wants to be her best friend."

"I know it's been difficult for her, Haymitch told me what's been going on in her school. I didn't mean to make it hard for her," he sighed.

"She's a strong kid, Peeta. She can handle herself," I added.

"Sounds like someone I know," he mentioned. His ears turned pink as he tried to hide his smile from me. We sat there for a few minutes.

"By the way, you look good, Peeta," I complimented him. Despite his weight loss, he still looked handsome and sweet with his hair curling, his lips and cheeks pink from the frosty chill in the air.

"You're beautiful," he whispered so low that I thought I imagined it. I blushed and felt hot under the collar. We smiled at each other like two nervous teenagers out on a first date. After a few agonizing moments, we both spoke up.

"Is this…" Peeta started.

"Do you think..." I said.

"Go ahead," he gestured to me.

"Sorry, you first," I interrupted. We both laughed.

"This is real, you're sitting here with me?" he voiced.

"Yes, Peeta this is real. I'm right here next to you," I acknowledged.

"It's just sometimes… It's hurts my head…I think I see things and I don't know if it real sometimes," he said as he looked away. I realized that he talking about what happened at the train station.

"Peeta, I want to explain about what happened last week...," I started. I'm about to explain when he turned to me.

"Katniss, can we just sit here. Together. I just want to freeze this moment forever," he sighed once again. I blinked my eyes from tearing up. I realized that he's reliving a moment that we shared together. Grateful, I nodded my head. He closed his eyes and laid his head on the back of the bench. We sat there for few minutes when I discovered that he's fallen asleep. His soft snore was music to my ears. His breathing is steady and calm. I reached over to take his hand in mine hoping he won't wake up. I sit back and bask in this moment as I watch him continue to sleep next to me.

* * *

**Delly POV – **

I stood guard as I watched Peeta and Katniss sitting together. It was a bittersweet moment for them as I see Katniss trying to reach for him. He's weary and skittish, blinking his eyes and chanting in his head if she's real or not. For years, I have watched him yearn for this moment. I am startled as Johanna surprised me.

"He shouldn't be out there with her alone," she suggested. Her face etched with worry and a bit of anger.

"He won't hurt her," I reassured her.

"He's not whom I'm worried about," she stated. I felt her concern but was not worried. You can tell that Katniss cares for Peeta. Loves him. She has from the start. As for Peeta, his love for her has been true and strong, but even he had his limits. I remember the conversation we had a week ago.

* * *

_**Flashback, the night after the train station fiasco – **_

I watched Peeta by doorway as he unpacked the last of his drawing pads from his duffel bag. His clothes hanged and placed in the drawers. He wore gray sweatpants and a black t-shirt. His boney frame jutted from clothing. He was unconscious for the better part of the day, the incident with Gale and Katniss caused an episode. He woke up hours later, exhausted, hungry and a need of a shower.

"Hey baker boy, how are you feeling?" I asked as I walked into the room and sat on his bed. On top of the covers are the clothes I bought him for the trip back home. He balked at the idea of my buying clothes for him until he made me swear to buy what he wanted. He was specific, nothing pastel, floral or any design. I had told him that I've helped my boyfriend shop his clothes. I know what to buy.

Peeta shuddered and said. "Oh don't tell me that you got him wearing pink?" I blushed when I think of the light red shirt I bought for my boyfriend, Bron.

"It's light red, Peeta. Not pink," I corrected. He laughed.

"Oh, Delly, he must really have it bad for you to wear anything pink," he commented. I smiled at that idea. He placed his duffel bag inside his master closet.

"Peeta, are you sure you're okay?" I asked in concern. "Maybe we should have stayed in 7 with Johanna a little longer."

"I couldn't delay the inevitable, Delly," he said. "You even said it yourself." He sat next to me. "I have to face my demons, as Dr. Aurelius said in one of my sessions."

"So I'm sorry for what happened today," she said.

"Not your fault, Delly," he said as he toyed with the edge of the pillow on his bed. "It was bound to happen, I just didn't think it would happen today of all days."

"What are you going to do?" I inquired.

"Nothing, there's nothing to do. I've moving on with my life and so is she," he added. "It's time that I faced the reality that she and I never had a chance. Besides, I'm different now. If she didn't love me before, she would never love me now. It's done. I'm done."

"You're not, Peeta. You can't tell me that after 13 years of being in love with Katniss Everdeen that it's over. Just like that," she stated. "You saw how she reacted when she was with Gale. Maybe it's not what it looked like."

"It doesn't matter if she's with him or not. It's not my concern. We were never together to begin with," he said. "I don't know how I feel anymore."

"That's bullshit, and you know it," I yelled. "Tell me, look me straight in the eyes and tell me that you don't love her anymore. That you stopped." He looked down on the floor. "Swear to me, that you're over her, Peeta." He turned his face from me as I took his hand in mine. He remained quiet as tears brimmed from his eyelids. "You can't because you're still in love with her. The Capitol didn't take that from you."

"It doesn't matter. I don't want to hurt her anymore. My sessions didn't guarantee that I won't hurt her in one of my episodes. She can still trigger them," he admitted.

"You're doing better, Peet. You just need time," I said.

"And what if she's moved on," he said.

"I know she hasn't moved on to anyone. If she did, which I know she didn't, I'll help you. We'll face it together. But you're wrong. You can't give up on her," I advised. "You can't give up now after all you've been through."

"I don't know, Delly. I don't know if I have it in me anymore," he sighed.

"Then we'll take it a day at a time, okay. Don't decide without seeing her or talking to her. She might surprise you," I said.

* * *

**Present time – **

After that night, Peeta had been quiet, unresponsive and somber. I thought that making Tamryn's cake would pull him out of his funk but all it did was add to his nightmares and exhausted him. Both Johanna and I had kept a close eye on him. The reading on his wrist stayed green meaning that his stress level was normal.

Peeta has to wear a medical wristband at all times. A band designed by Dr. Aurelius and Mr. Beetee Latier. It would indicate when he's over stressing himself; causing him to have an episode. Haymitch asked me about it once we reached Peeta's home after the altercation with Gale. It's specifically designed to track the venom that still in his blood. Once it reached a red level, a signal is sent via satellite to a monitoring system at the Capitol. A signal returns back to his wrist administering a sedative to his blood stream equipped on his wristband. Dr. Aurelius would be alerted whenever he got a dosage. It was never tested since Peeta didn't' suffer an attack while he was at the Capitol. Of course, Peeta could administer it to himself with a touch of a button. Only Dr. Aurelius and I have access to his band. I'm glad it worked at the train station.

We haven't talked again since our return to 12. He never mentioned or asked about Katniss. I just hope he hasn't given up after seeing her and Gale together. My thoughts are interrupted as Johanna gasped in surprise.

"Well take a look at that," Johanna said with an amazed look on her face. I looked to see Peeta asleep as Katniss watched over him. Her head leaning close to his. They are so cute together. Maybe there's still hope left for the both of them.

* * *

**Katniss POV – **

Days pass, I don't see or hear from Peeta after the party. The limited time we shared at her party was just a start. I made a promise to myself to give him space and time. He waited 13 years for me. Though I don't have his patience, I will wait for him for as long as I have to.

There's someone knocking on my door, I get up to open it to find Gale standing in my front porch. Again. For the past couple of days, he's been hovering on my doorstep asking to talk to him.

"Katniss, please hear me out," he begged. "Please for the sake of our friendship, what is left of it, we need to talk." I nodded and left my house not wanting Gale to come inside. The last thing I need is Peeta seeing me invite Gale inside my home.

We walked to the edge of the woods. I stopped and faced him. "Tell me what you want to say because I don't have all day," I said.

"I'm sorry for what happened at the train station. You were right, I did assume that you were waiting for me," he uttered with an embarrassed look on his face. "It's just that Thom had been telling me that you and him haven't been talking or seeing each other. Everyone in 12 knew that you're relationship during the games was fake."

I was losing my composure. Even if my relationship wasn't real, it still didn't give him the right to assume that Gale had a chance with me.

"So when I saw you there wearing a dress and holding flowers, waiting at the platform, I just thought you've forgiven me and was there for me," he said.

"I don't know what gave you that idea. But I have to admit it was my fault. What I did with you in District 13 while Peeta was gone, wasn't right. I used you both and I'm sorry for that," I said.

"You're wrong, Catnip. What we had before, it was real," he noted. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"It doesn't matter what you thought, too much has happened. We can't go back to what you think we had," I explained. I can't seem to get though to Gale. He is adamant in his belief that our great love affair at 13 was real.

"We've been best friends for a long time," he said. "I've been miserable since we've been apart. I know I am at fault for our ruined relationship. I'm so sorry for Prim. I can't tell how sorry I am. But please believe me. I never had intended for Prim to die when Beetee and I were designing the bomb."

"It wasn't only Prim who died, Gale. You created a bomb that killed hundreds of people," I yelled.

"She wasn't suppose to be there," he yelled back. "It's not my fault that she was there that day. If she had stayed where she was supposed to, she'd still be alive."

"You still don't get it. You designed a bomb to kill people," I explained.

"Just for the Capitol…" he justified himself.

"It doesn't matter if it was Capitol, they were still people, with families and loved ones," I interrupted. "You murdered hundreds of people, just like those in 12."

"It's not the same thing, we were at war," he spat. "There will always be casualties."

"And Prim became one of them," I screamed. We're both hurt and angry. This is why I knew that we would not work together. The war changed him. The games had changed me but it didn't make me angry at the world. My anger was focused on President Snow. Gale never understood that after the first game, I was not the same Katniss he knew. I wanted to believe that the Capitol couldn't control me. I never realized how so much alike we were. Being together angry and spiteful at the world, it would have consumed us. Even if I had never met Peeta, Gale was too much like me. I would have stayed alone, not marrying and not having children. I was too scared. Meeting Peeta changed all that.

"So what happens now, after all the years we supported and protected each other, we're not friends anymore?" he asked.

"Gale, I'm not naïve to think that is all you want from me," I told him. "Too much has happened to me. We would have never worked."

"That's because you never gave us a chance," he reiterated. "I believe in time, you'll be able to forgive me. We are so perfect for each other. I've loved you for a long time and I just never said anything."

"Gale," I whined. This is not what I wanted.

"Please hear me out, you and I have shared so much together. We could have a really great future together. We're a team, Katniss. You just need time and I'm willing to give it to you."

I placed a hand on my forehead wondering if I'm really standing here listening to Gale talk in his delusion of a happily ever after between us. "Gale, my sister is dead, that will always be between us."

"I'm sorry. But tell me truthfully, if she was alive and survived the bomb, would there be anything else between us?" he asked. I remained quiet not knowing how to finally tell him what needed to be said. What I couldn't admit to him, let alone to myself.

"You've got to be kidding me! You're still hung up on Mellark. The guy who wanted you dead after I rescued him for you," he spat in disgust. His hands clenched on his sides. "He's dangerous, Katniss. You'll never be safe with him. He'll end up killing you during his episodes."

"You don't know him, Gale. You never have," I said. I may not have known Peeta as long I have known Gale, but I do know Peeta's heart. I am certain of that.

"Oh but I do, I saw him wrap his hands around your neck and almost killed you. How can you possibly think you can have a future with him. He's a killer."

"And so am I. As a matter of fact, I killed more people with my own hands. So that makes me a killer too," I corrected him.

"He doesn't deserve you," he remarked since he won't admit that I'm right. I have more blood on my hands than anyone, even after Gales' bombs. I incited a whole nation to follow me, to go to war for me.

"You're wrong, it is I who doesn't deserve him," I said. I looked up in sky and realized I should head back home. It's getting dark.

"You just feel sorry for him, Catnip. That's all you're feeling for him," he added. I almost turned around to smack on the face again but thought better of it. I turned to walk away. "I'll wait for you, Katniss. Just like he did, I'll wait until you clear your head and realize we belong together." I ran straight home and locked my front door.

Since my return to District 12, I still have the same nightmares that has haunted me after the rebellion. That night however, I dreamt of Peeta walking ahead of me. I ran after him as fast as I could but I could never catch up to him. I yelled at him to wait for me but he kept on walking. I woke up sweating, my heart beating fast. I wished that Peeta was there beside me, holding me in his arms like he did during the Victory Tour and the Quarter Quell. I missed those nights together. I only thought of us as comrades in need of comfort and support for each other. I denied what he was offering me. I took him for granted. He gave me his heart and never expected anything from me. Johanna was right, Peeta gave me a gift that I threw back to his face, repeatedly. I was just too scared to accept it.

After seeing him with Tamryn at her party, I realized that I want a life with him. I want to stand beside him. I want to love him as he deserved to be loved, and to admit to him that I do want him, all of him. I can no longer deny what has been in front of me all these years. I am in love with Peeta Mellark. The boy who has loved me since he was 5. The boy who saved my life when he threw the burnt bread to me, all those years ago. The same boy who protected and would have died for me during the two arenas. My Boy with the Bread. I just hope that my epiphany isn't too late.


	8. Chapter 8 - The Baker and the Hunter

Chapter 8 – The Baker and the Hunter

_**AN: To my reviewers, an eternal thank you for your comments. They are always appreciated. Any mistakes made in writing this chapter, I blame on my mad caffeine fix. Happy reading and have a great weekend.**_

The night air is cool as I sit on my bed against the headboard. The bedroom window is wide open even though it's freezing outside. It's quiet and the silence unnerves me. Something in the air hovers like a shadow. I tried to clear my mind from the last few days. The task of baking Tamryn's cake almost shattered whatever piece of sanity I had left. The memories of my family and the bakery consumed me with both anger and sadness. My hands trembled as I poured each ingredient into a bowl. Images of the past before the games flashed in my mind gutting me. The urgency to explode was imminent. What saved me from imploding was my promise to Tamryn. I concentrated on her sweet little face as we drew the design to her cake weeks before. Taking deep breaths, I latched on to the memory of her twinkling eyes and smile. My mind also streamed images of a little girl with the same dark hair and steel colored eyes. The Capitol didn't warp those memories. At least I know they were real.

With task completed, I was too exhausted in mind and body to dwell on any recollections of my family. So here I am, tired but relieved that I kept the promise I had made. The wind entering though the window brushed my face. I sniffed the air as a familiar smell surrounded me. The perfume that blew in shocked me to awareness. It is of Katniss. Reminding me the waft of the trees and primroses that clung to her skin after a morning out in the woods. I closed my eyes and prayed that I am not in a middle of another hallucination. My visual delusions were not the only thing that developed during my torture. I had developed olfactory delusions as well. After a nightmare I swore I smelled blood and ash.

"Hey," Katniss whispered as she appeared before me in my bedroom. "I guess you couldn't sleep either." I'm not surprised that she was able to walk into my home undetected. Her steps were always light.

"Real?" I gasped in surprise as my eyes bulged. "Are you real?"

Her brow lifted at my question. "What?" she asked as she approached me and stood by my bed.

"You're here?" I reiterated. "You're real?"

"Yes, I'm real," she answered. "Feel your heart, Peeta." She gestured to herself as she placed a hand on her own chest. I raised my hand and felt my own. My chest was beating fast. "I hope you don't mind, but I couldn't sleep and I saw the light in your room."

"Why can't you sleep?" I asked. It was stupid to ask since I've known. I've always known what haunted her.

"Bad dreams. Nightmares. I still have them," she answered.

"Me too," I admitted. I was all too aware of her presence. She wore a light dressing gown that covered her mid thigh. I gulped feeling my throat constrict. Her unbraided hair is cascading down her shoulders. She was beautiful standing before me, dreamlike and ethereal. She walked towards me and sat down on the edge of the bed. "Actually, I've been thinking about you. I've missed you." One hand was close to my leg as she leaned forward.

I'm speechless. When I decided to return to 12, I knew that whatever chance I had with Katniss was gone. I had to move on with my life even though I lived near her. I had to exorcise my obsession with her but she never lingered far from my mind. So I stayed away. And yet here she appeared always so close but unattainable.

"I'm sorry, Peeta. I'm sorry for everything," she apologized. She placed a finger on my lips, as I was about to speak. She felt cold from the cool air. "I'm not good with words so maybe I'll should just show you what I can't say." She placed her lips on mine. They felt soft and cool against my own. I whimpered as her lips left mine. "Is this okay?" she asked as her hand cupped my cold check.

'_Real, real,'_ my mind chanted as I prayed that she was here in my room. I blinked my eyes several times. She laughed. "I'm here, Peeta. Real," she quipped. "I know that we need to talk but can't we just…" she said with shy smile as she took my hand in hers. This is the Katniss I never knew. Shy, vulnerable and unsure of herself. "I haven't been able to sleep well since the Victory Tour. You make my nightmares go away."

"You want to sleep here?" I asked. "With me." She nodded her head with a pleading look in her eyes. Without any hesitation, I lifted my blanket and gestured her to join me. Smiling, she took off her robe and slipped next to me. She shivered from the chilly air as a gust of wind passed through my window. "It's too cold for you. I'll go close the window." I'm nervous and stupefied that she has come to me. It's been so long since I had held her in my arms. I got out of bed when I noticed my prosthetic leg leaning against my nightstand. I looked down to see that I am standing on my bare feet. Both feet. I lurched over as if someone has punched me in the gut.

"Peeta, what's wrong?" Katniss cried out in concern as she gets on her knees to reach for me. I backed away.

"Not real," I wailed as I begin to sway. "Not real."

I woke sitting up on my bed as reached down to feel for my leg. It was a dream, Katniss in my bedroom kissing me. It felt real. I dropped backwards and sighed. I looked around my room; the lights are off, my window closed and I am hidden in darkness. Some nights I dreamt that I am home with my family at the bakery. Other times, I'm with Katniss in the train during the Victory Tour. I dreamt of rare moments when I was happy. Those dreams were rare and a few. My nightmares consisted of killing Katniss over and over. There is a battle inside me that fights for what I know and what I feel. My love for Katniss will always be real and true but I know that what she felt for me was never real. Now, I have too many mental and physical scars. Whatever dreams I had of having a normal and happy life will never come to fruition. I have nothing to offer but a broken heart and mind. And that is what I had to accept.

My days are filled with mindless errands and routines. I wake up, tend my garden, eat, sleep (if I can) and repeat. One day a week I call Dr. Aurelius for a forty-five minute session. Our parley together are a retelling of my mundane routine, and spewing emotional vomit that exhausted me physically and mentally. After my session Johanna or Delly had to walk me to my bed where I sleep for the rest of the day. All in all, it's embarrassing and humiliating. I am forever grateful for my roommate's patience and tolerance of my mood swings and sullen behavior. Knowing that this cannot go on forever and after much prodding, I convinced them that they had to go on with their lives. So Delly found work at the new Medical Clinic in town. As for Johanna, she left to go back to 7 stating that she would return after she had taken care of unfinished business.

Today, my anxiety level is at its' peak. Greasy Sae called me and asked if I could pick up Tamryn from school. She is helping a midwife deliver a neighbor's baby and cannot pick up her granddaughter. I said yes not realizing the impact the decision would affect me. I am standing in the middle of a schoolyard with several women gawking and whispering around me. The topic of conversation? It's probably me.

The attitude in town towards me took a turn since my return. There are only a handful of former residents who had survived the bombing. Where I was once welcomed home, I am now shunned by the new community. The new residents didn't appreciate the traitor from District 12 living amongst them.

Soon, the dismissal bell rings. I craned my neck to watch for Tamryn since she doesn't know I am here to pick her up. I smiled as soon as she recognized me.

"Peeta!" she shrieked so loud that everyone turned to watch us. I crouched down to hug her since I'm still uncomfortable of her hugging my prosthetic leg. "What are you doing here?"

"You're grandma is busy so she asked me to come and get you," I answered.

"That's so cool," she gushed as she grabbed my hand. "Come on, I want to show you my drawing I made at school today." The whispers and gossiping continued as we left the schoolyard hand in hand.

I don't know whether it's just me being paranoid but as we walked back home I felt that someone was watching us. I kept my face neutral as not to alarm Tamryn. I felt a prickling in the back of my neck. I could no longer hold back the fear I felt not for me but for Tamryn. I remembered the conversation I had with Dr. Aurelius when he informed me of the threat against my life. The media, stalkers and groupies were common fixtures in our lives after becoming Victors and the Star Crossed Lovers. It was most apparent when Katniss and I visited the Capitol during the Victory Tour. Our experience taught me vigilance.

After a couple of yards, I turned to look and discovered a figure walking behind us. As I watched him approached us. I turned to Tamryn, "Go run home, Tamryn. Go ahead of me, and go to Mr. Abernathy's," I ordered.

"Why, Peeta?" she asked as she looked around her. She was frightened.

"Just be a good girl and do as I say, go now and don't stop until you get to Mr. Abernathy's house," I commanded leaving no room for an argument. She took off not looking behind her. I focused my eyes making sure that what's in front of me was real. He looked the same like he did at the train station wearing all black. His uniform and facial hair made him looked older and more mature than his 20 years. However, he was still the brooding, sullen and angry classmate I remembered back before the games.

"What do you want, Gale?" I asked.

"Shouldn't you be in house arrest or something?" he commented as a sneer appeared on his face.

"I'm home like you, Gale. It's a free country," I remarked. He inched towards me.

"They should have kept you in solitary confinement far away from people. You are a danger to society, especially to Katniss," he said as he placed his hand on his Taser gun.

"Katniss can take of herself, or haven't you noticed. She been doing that for a long time," I reminded him. I felt my pulse beat faster. I looked at my wristband and noticed that it was still green. Gale noticed my gesture as he too looked at the band.

"You not good enough for her, you never have been. Now, you're a danger to her. You should stay away from Katniss," he barked as his anger rose. I knew he had a mean temper and was quick to anger when provoked. I remembered an incident in school when he got into a fistfight over a comment one of the merchant classmate said to him one day. Gale reacted quick and decisive as he pummeled him with his fist. He was suspended for 3 days.

I am well aware that Gale is taunting me. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. I didn't want to have another episode in front of him.

"I'm heading home, Gale. You should do the same," I said as I turned to walk to away. I took two steps.

"You're a pussy, Mellark. You hide behind your calm and peaceful demeanor when you're nothing but a coward and pussy," he spat.

I turned to him. "And what about you, Gale. You think that throwing insults at me makes you better than me. Is name calling all that you can do? I fought bigger and stronger people than you. I survived the Capitol. You maybe bigger and taller than me, and all you're insults and taunting just make you a bully."

"Fight me, you pussy. Or did the Capitol take your balls too?" he spewed as spit flew from his mouth. He took a step and shoved me hard that I fell on the ground falling on my back. I stood up as fast as I could. He charged at me and I stepped aside to avoid any contact from him.

"I don't want to fight you, Gale," I said with bated breath.

"Fight me, Mellark," he spat. I turned to walk away. My gesture only fueled his anger towards me. "Don't turn you back at me, you coward.

Again, he charged at me that I took the advantage with a move I learned from my wrestling days. For a moment, we grappled together until I had him face down on the ground and one arm behind his back. I pined him down with his other arm trapped beneath him and my other arm wrapped around his neck.

"Stop moving or I'll break your neck," I said. He struggled for a moment. "I said stop moving," I ordered as he strained to free himself. He stopped when we hear a voice cut the air.

"Peeta," Katniss screamed as she ran towards us. I let go of Gale and stood up away from him. "Peeta." She ran straight to my arms that I had to anchor my legs from falling backwards. She searched my face and head, touching my face with her hands. "Are you hurt?"

"He attacked me Katniss," Gale screamed as he stood off the ground glaring at us.

"Don't lie to me, I saw everything, Gale. He was walking away when you charged at him," she yelled back at him. "Get the hell away from him, I swear if you hurt him, I'll kick your ass."

"You have to get away from him, Catnip. He's still unstable. Who knows when he'll have an episode and kill you," Gale voiced his concern. "I'm only looking out for you."

"I can take care of myself," she spat. "I don't need you to watch over me." She stood between Gale and me her hands clenched at her sides.

"Someone has to. You're not thinking straight. What is it going to take for you to realize that Mellark is dangerous," he uttered then spat, "I swear you're just as bad as his groupies back in the Capitol. Why don't you just fuck him already and get it out of your system."

Both Katniss and I gasped from the vile spewing out of Gale's mouth. She pulled her arm back and punched him in his already bruised face. "You're an asshole," Katniss bellowed. I reached and grabbed Katniss' arm and held her back. "Stay away from Peeta, I mean it."

"Katniss, I'm just trying to protect you from him," he pleaded.

"I don't need you to protect me. Just get that into your thick skull," she screamed.

"Katniss, where's Tamryn?" I interrupted trying to relieve the tension in the air. "What are you doing here?"

"She's fine. I saw her running to Haymitch but he wasn't home. So she came to me," she explained. "I left her at my house. You're sure you're not hurt?"

"I'm fine," I answered. "Calm down, everything is okay." She looked relieved. "I gotta go, Tamryn is probably scared," I turned and walked away.

"I'll go with you, there nothing for me here," she added as followed me home without a backwards glance to Gale.

I walked as fast as I could back to the Victor's Village. I twisted my prosthetic leg from the fall but I didn't mention it to Katniss. Pain radiated from my leg with each step I took. I just ignored it. As we reached her home, Tamryn ran from the house and greeted us with a frightened look in her face.

"Peeta, you're alright? I was so scared," she bawled. I picked her up and walked inside Katniss' home. She sobbed in my arms for a while not letting go. Katniss made hot chocolate to soothe her. It was the first time that I had been inside her home. It felt odd being there not seeing Prim or her mother. I wondered how she managed to stay in a house filled with ghosts.

Tamryn clung to me all afternoon, never leaving my side. She got tired from crying and fell asleep so we left her in the living room sofa. Katniss caught my grimace as I stood up and walked into her dining room to stretch my legs.

"So not that the emergency is over, you want to tell me the truth?" she questioned as her brow lifted. She pointed to my leg.

"It's nothing, Katniss. I just twisted it when I fell," I said as I rubbed the upper portion of my leg. "I'm all right."

"You didn't fall, Peeta. You were pushed to the ground," she spat in response. "I don't know what the hell is wrong with him."

"He has every right to be concerned," I admitted as I turned away.

"No, he doesn't. I don't see him for months and suddenly he wants to play hero. I was fine without him," she said in a bitter tone. "I don't need anyone to take care of me."

"That's apparent," I whispered as I sat down on a chair and closed my eyes.

"Peeta?" Katniss asked.

I opened my eyes to see anger replaced with a worried look on her face. "I should head home," I said as I stood up only to fall back down from fatigue. Katniss laid a hand on my arm to steady me.

"You look beat. Why don't you stay until Sae calls and have dinner with Tamryn and me? Besides, she might freak if she wakes up to find you gone," she advised. Too tired to argue I agreed. Dinner was calm and relaxing. Having Tamryn between us made the situation bearable.

By the time Sae came to pick her up she was tired and it was late. Katniss offered to let them stay over for the night. I said my goodnight to Sae and Tamryn and I turned to leave when Katniss called out to me. "I'll walk you back home, Peeta." She walked to her closet to put on her jacket.

"It's not necessary, Katniss," I fired back. I didn't want her to go with me. I had reason not to.

"I'm coming," she argued as she walked out the door. I followed behind her. I couldn't prevent what would happen next. She walked up my porch and faced me. "I know why you didn't want me to walk you home." She turned and picked up white rose sitting in front of my door. "Were you ever going to tell me about this?"

I turned my head not knowing what to say to her. It was my problem not hers. "I didn't want anyone to know," I admitted.

"I'm not anyone. Haymitch told me what's been happening at the Capitol during your recovery," she said. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"First off, it wasn't his business to tell you," I added as I felt a tinge of anger surfacing. "And second, I resent him for talking to you about my business."

"Why, Peeta?" she voiced as I heard the hurt in her tone. "Why keep this from me?"

"It's my business. I can take care of it myself," I said. I took the rose away from her. "Go home, Katniss. This doesn't involve you." I saw the hurt look in her eyes. "I mean, I don't want you to get involved." I walked inside my home hoping that she would leave me alone. I turned to close my door but she placed a hand from shutting it on her.

"We protect each other, Peeta. We have since the reaping," she reminded me. Something caught her attention as her eyes bulged when she looked behind me. She pushed through my door and walked straight into my living room. On the walls were 'Killer' and 'Traitor' spelled out in upper case and in blood red. On my coffee table were a dozen white roses in a crystal vase.

The air grew thick around me. My mind flashed with memories of my torture and abuse. I heard screams in my head.

"Peeta?" she queried as I turned my back on her. I didn't want her to see me fall apart. "Are you okay?" She placed a hand on my back.

"You need to leave," I said as I gritted my teeth. My band remained green so I knew I was not experiencing an episode. I was assaulted of images that will be forever etched in my mind. "I'm fine. Just please leave me alone."

"I can't. I won't," she said as she stood her ground. "I've left you alone too long."

"I don't need a keeper. You don't have to pretend anymore. The games are over and I have accepted that what we had wasn't real," I said as I sat on my sofa. My head began to throb.

"I'm not pretending and I'm not leaving you alone," she demanded. I remained quiet. "Regardless of what happened between us, all the pretending and all the lies, we still protected each other. That was real."

I knew she was stubborn. I didn't want her pity or feel obligated to me. So I fought back with the one argument she couldn't dispute. "Just leave. Gale was right, you're not safe with me anymore."

She opened her mouth to argue but we both heard a gasp that interrupted us. Delly stood at the entryway with a hand covering her mouth, "Peeta, what happened? Who did this?" she asked. "Katniss, what are you doing here?" She fired questions I couldn't answer fast enough when she gasped again noticing the white roses on the coffee table. "Peeta, are you okay?"

"I'm okay, Delly. We just got here ourselves," I answered. "I'm just glad that neither you and Johanna were here when this happened."

My eyes were unfocused as my head ached. "Thank you for walking me home, Katniss, but I think we should call it a night. It's been a long day." I turned and ran up the stairs.

The next day I repainted my walls. Katniss offered to help but I refused it. I can't have her anywhere around me. Anyone close to me would be in danger. A few days later Johanna returned to 12. She was livid that I didn't tell her about the graffiti and the roses when she called days before.

"Peeta, do not ever keep anything from me. We have gone though so much together, if I was to lose you now to some creep, I'll kill you myself," she seethed.

"How do you think I would feel if you or Delly, or anyone got hurt because of me? I can't…I won't be able to live with myself," I said. "It's best that you and Delly find somewhere else to live. Maybe you both should go back to 7."

"You're stupid if you think you can do this on your own," she added. "So far, all he's done is break into your house and leave a message. The next time, you might not be so lucky."

"I think that's a good enough reason for you and Delly to leave," I insisted.

"You really are out of your mind if you think I'm leaving you alone," she fired back. "I agree that Delly needs to go, but I'm staying with you and I will not hear anymore discussion about it."

"If you stay, so will Delly," I alleged. "I can't have her stay here."

"I'll talk to Delly," she said. "You and I, we're in this together. You'd do the same for me. I've never forgotten, Peeta. How you took care of Annie and me at the Capitol. Let me do the same for you."

A couple of days later, Delly moved to another home in the Victor's Village. Johanna had petitioned to live in one of the other empty houses. It wasn't official but with the circumstances, Delly moved into Johanna's home temporarily. She protested and screamed at us. I gave her no choice. I couldn't stand to lose another person in my life.

* * *

**Katniss POV –**

When I came home after the rebellion, I didn't have a lot to pack. Whatever clothing I had was either District 13 gray or the Mockingjay suit. Neither of which I wanted to take with me. I wore pants, shirt and jacket when I was dropped off at the train station. Haymitch carried a travel bag and my bow that I used during the rebellion. He dropped off both items as soon as I entered my home in the Victor's Village. I had forgotten about the bag and its' contents. I found it lying in the bottom of my hallway closet. Curiosity won me over as I looked inside. Besides a pair of socks, pants, shirt and underwear, I found two items I had thought was lost or destroyed during the Quarter Quell; the locket and pearl that Peeta gave me at the beach. How both had survived I will never know. The pearl was in my pocket in my wetsuit while I wore the locket before Peeta and I separated that night.

I clutched the locket in my trembling hands. It was tarnished and beaten from the explosion. With all the courage I could muster, I pried the locket open to find my mother, Prim and Gale's pictures in great condition. I sobbed as I gazed at Prim's photo. I will have to ask Peeta how he obtained the photos of my mother and Prim. How he also managed to get Gale's is beyond me. I cringed as I look at the image of my old hunting partner and best friend. The Gale I now know is someone foreign to me. With his facial hair, it made him look older and sophisticated, not the miner's son who hunted besides me during the hardest times of my life. I miss that Gale, not the Gale I see now with his new job and disposition. The new Gale is confident, hard and bitter. It was unrealistic for me to think that the war didn't change all of us.

Gale and Peeta. One is night as the other is day.

I think that between the two, the one that changed the most is Gale. Beyond the torture of both body and mind, I know deep inside that Peeta is still the Boy with the Bread. I see it in his eyes and in the tone of his voice. I want and need that Peeta to move forward in my life.

Gale was wrong when he said that I would choose the one I couldn't survive without. I could survive without Peeta. I survived without my mother's love and guidance. I survived without love because I didn't know what love was all about. The only example I had was with my parents. When my dad died, a part of my mother died too. I thought that's what love did to people. I was wrong. I could survive and live without Gale. Surviving without Peeta is one thing, but to live without him, I know I couldn't. Not only do I need him in my life, I know that I can't live without him. I haven't been living before he entered my life. Peeta is the sun that breaks through a dark rainstorm. He is the ray of light in the middle of darkness.

It hurts knowing that I know longer have his regard, his affection. What I shunned due to my ignorance pains me. Is this how he felt each time he reached out to me in friendship and love? How he endured this feeling for so long attested to his complete devotion and fidelity. I have to get it back. I need to.

After the incident, Haymitch and I spoke in great depth of what must be done to protect Peeta. I know that Peeta denying my help was out of concern for my welfare. I just need to find a way to convince him that we need each other, to protect each other. Just like we did during the games.

I'm sitting in my room when I hear Delly screaming as she ran out of Peeta's house. I rushed out my front door.

"Where the hell have you been, Peeta?" she screeched as he walked up to his front steps holding a brown paper bag. Both are oblivious to my presence.

"I went into town for some groceries," he answered as he gestured to the bag in his arms.

"By yourself? What's wrong with you?" she yelled.

"Delly, I'm capable enough to go to town by myself without a bodyguard," he said.

"We all agreed that you would not go anywhere without one of us going with you, especially if you're going into town," she exclaimed.

"No, you and Johanna agreed," he smirked. "I'm not going to be a prisoner in my own home just because some psycho painted graffiti in my house."

"You're not taking the threat to your life seriously," she added.

"Oh, I am taking it seriously, Delly. I'll be ready," he disagreed as he gestured to a knife sheathed in his waist belt. Delly stared at the knife.

"Peeta, where did you get that?" she asked in shock. He kept quiet for a moment. "Never mind I know who. I can't believe she gave that to you. What are you doing, Peeta?"

"I'm protecting myself," he answered as he moved to walk inside his home.

"No, you trying to get yourself killed," she sobbed. "If something happens to you, I don't know what I'll do." Delly grabbed him in a tight hug. They stood together in an embrace while he whispered into her ear. A minute later, she nodded her head as they both headed inside the house.

I am shocked and paralyzed to what I have witnessed. Was I so oblivious that I didn't realize that something had developed between Delly and Peeta? How long has this been going on? When did this happen? My stomach sunk as new feelings surfaced. Feelings I had never felt before. Rage and jealousy. I am so crazed and distraught that I didn't realize I was standing outside of Haymitch's door until he opened it.

"What's wrong, sweetheart? You look like you've seen a ghost," he said with a surprised look on his face. I pushed myself into his house without an invitation. I walked over to his liquor cabinet and took a long swig of his coveted Winter's Solstice. I chocked as the bitter liquor hit my throat and burned my eyes.

"Hey, watch it that's my last bottle until the next delivery," Haymitch hollered as he took the bottle away from my grasp. "Now, you sit over there and tell me what's got you into a tizzy that you would raid my cabinet without so much of a hello and ado."

"Peeta and Delly," I answered as I tried to hold the tears from falling. Bile rose from my stomach. _'This can't be happening. Not now,'_ I thought to myself.

"Peeta and Delly?" he said dumbstruck. "Yeah, what about them?"

"They're together," I sobbed as I covered my face with my hands.

"Together as in living together? I thought she moved out and is living next to you," he said. He still wasn't getting it that I had to spell it out.

"No, they're together as in…boyfriend and girlfriend," I choked. The pain in my chest grew with each word I spoke, stifling me.

Haymitch looked at me for a mere second then laughed. A loud belly laugh. Here I am in his home, confessing my pain and heartache and what is he doing? He's laughing at me.

"Oh, Katniss, we really need to work on your self-image," he said after composing himself. "What makes you think that they're together like that?"

"I just saw them outside his house. You should have seen her face when she thought he was missing," I said. "The way they are with each other. I didn't see it."

"You do know that they're best friend and she's been taking care of him at the hospital during his recovery, right?" he stated. I couldn't face him or believe him. "They're just friends, Katniss. Close friends. Like you and Gale."

"I never looked at Gale the way Delly looked at Peeta just now," I whimpered.

"You're seeing things that's not there, sweetheart," he said. "You're just torturing yourself."

"What if it's too late? What if Peeta has finally given up on me?" I whined at the realization. This feeling hurt more than anything I have every known.

"For as long as I've known him, Katniss. What he has always felt for you has never waivered. I don't believe for one minute that he's over you. I believe that he loves you more than he ever has. He's just to afraid to," he confessed.

"How do you know?" I asked, needing the assurance from him.

"Even in his broken and hijacked mind, he came back to 12. He could have gone anywhere. He came back here, Katniss. To you," he smiled at me.

"You think so?" I asked as I wiped the tears from eyes.

"I know so, like I know that the sun rises in the east," Haymitch nodded as he handed me a tissue to blow my nose.

"That's sappy even for you. So what do I do?" I queried.

"Now, what you're going to do is be patient with him and give him time," he recommended. His advise for me was easier said than done. But what else can I do, but be patient and wait as he suggested. "So, are you ready for dinner this evening?"

I was so distressed I had forgotten that Delly had arranged a dinner party at Peeta's house. This time it's an adult party with no kids and liquor being served. It was a mini celebration of sorts. Delly had just accepted a new job in town and Johanna's application as resident of 12 was approved. Thus revealing her unfinished business she had mentioned before leaving District 12. I had asked Delly if I should bring something for dinner. Delly rejected my offer. She advised me to look pretty and find the opportunity to spend time with Peeta. Bless her heart, she was providing the time I needed to bond with Peeta. I wished I had remembered that before I had my meltdown with Haymitch. It would have saved me a world of embarrassment and humiliation. Still, my conversation with him was reassuring and it gave me the courage to pursue Peeta.

I looked forward to the get together just as long as Johanna does not confront me. My attempt to see or speak to Peeta has been thwarted by Johanna's interference. She still hasn't forgiven or talked to me since the incident at the train station. This, however, won't stop me from spending time with him.

My preparation for this evening didn't take as along as the first time. I had a little help from Effie again. She sent me a nice blue dress that matched Peeta's eyes. It was simple and comfortable. Soon I found myself in front of another door. I felt queasy and excited at the thought of spending a few hours with Peeta. I hoped that Johanna didn't answer the door. To my relief Delly yanked the door open.

"Katniss, come on in," she gestured with her head as she pulled my arm. "Haymitch just got here a few minutes ago." I greeted Haymitch who held a glass of liquor in his hand and grunted back at me. "Please make yourself comfortable. I'll be right back." Delly left the room leaving Haymitch and I alone. He gazed at me and smirked.

"Ready for battle, Katniss?" he snickered. I smiled back as he gestured a thumbs up in my direction.

The smell of fresh paint lingered in the air as I remembered the words painted on the walls. I looked around to see if Peeta was anywhere in site when he appeared walking out of the kitchen with an apron around his waist. For a moment I saw a glimpse of the Boy with Bread. He looked shy and handsome as ever.

"Hey, Peeta," I greeted him. I was nervous all of a sudden. "Whatever you're cooking smells wonderful."

"Hi, Katniss. We're having Beef Burgundy. Delly cooked so if you get sick it's not my fault," he quipped. Delly hits him in the arm as she rounded the corner.

"I heard that," she said. "Don't pay attention to him. I'm a great cook." I looked at Peeta and Delly. I envied the ease and friendship between them. An image of Gale flashed in my mind. I shook it away acknowledging that my friendship with him was gone forever. What he wanted from me, I never could give him. It was something I never felt for him. After a moment of awkward silence, Delly bantered, "Doesn't Katniss look beautiful, Peeta?" She nudged him.

I blushed as I realized that Peeta was staring at me. I saw a look of longing in his eyes that faded away. A look I hadn't seen since the Victory Tour. Maybe Haymitch was right, there is still hope for us.

"You look lovely, Katniss," Peeta complimented me. He wore a dark green shirt and brown pants. I wondered if he remembered that green was my favorite color. The moment was broken as Johanna entered the room.

"Hey, now that everyone is here, can we eat already? I'm starving," Johanna announced. She looked at me for a moment. "Hey Katniss." For this evening, she wasn't attired in her usual black clothes. She wore a simple dark green knee length dress with dark black boots while Delly wore a light pink dress that suited her personality.

"Johanna, congratulations with your new residency at 12," I said as I walked to the dining area. She nodded her head in thanks.

The meal was delicious as the company was enjoyable. Delly was right, she was a wonderful cook. Peeta was subdued throughout dinner. Haymitch didn't talk much as Delly and Johanna dominated the topic of conversation. Delly loved her new job as a resident nurse at the Medical Clinic while Johanna spoke of the tension and riots that still prevailed in Districts 4, 6 and 9. It was a discussion I thought wasn't appropriate for a dinner party. Effie would have agreed with me. But, I didn't care because I sat next to Peeta during dinner. His presence soothed me.

"You know what I don't understand? Why is Gale still here in 12 when he should be containing the riots?" Johanna asked. I caught Peeta's reaction to Gale's name being mentioned in the conversation. He flinched and closed his eyes for a second.

"Hazelle is bringing her family back to 12 and Gale is preparing for their arrival and housing," Haymitch added. "I heard a rumor that he's trying to make 12 his permanent resident."

"Doesn't his job restrict him to District 2?" Johanna wondered. "That's where the New Guardsmen offices are located."

"Doesn't matter what he wants, it'll never happen," Haymitch interrupted. We all looked at him to explain further. "Even if he wanted to set up shop in 12, he can't. No hovercrafts are allowed in District 12 and he needs them for transportation to get to the other districts. So he can request and demand all he wants. Paylor will never agree to it." I remembered his deal with Paylor and what it entailed. I wondered if he mentioned it to Peeta. "Besides, Gale will be gone in a few days."

I sighed as I glimpsed at Peeta. He had a blank look on his face. Johanna was relieved and Delly was nonchalant. I guess Gale didn't endear himself with this crowd.

"Hey, what's with the doom and gloom? It's time for cake," Delly announced at she stood up to retrieve the long anticipated confection. It was a simple one layer chocolate cake with vanilla bean frosting. The cake was moist and delicious and the frosting creamy and smooth. "This is delicious, Delly," I said as I took another bite.

"Don't thank me, it's all Peeta. He hovered and bossed me around all afternoon," she smiled at him in appreciation. "Putting it together was not hard, but icing it was a challenge." I guess baking Tamryn's cake was a one-time deal. It didn't matter.

"It's still wonderful. You two did a great job," I added.

"It's marvelous, Delly," Johanna said as stuffed a large piece in her mouth. After two pieces later and stuffed stomachs, we sat in the living room for coffee. Haymitch walked over to Peeta's kitchen and opened a cabinet revealing a bottle of Winter's Solstice in his hand.

"You dog, I thought you said that you couldn't get another bottle until the next delivery," Johanna beamed a smile at Haymitch.

"Got one for this house so you won't be taking a swig of mine, Mason," he snickered as he poured the rare liquid in five glasses. "I like to make a toast. To a new era in Panem and a new beginning for everyone."

We all raised our glass and toasted each other. "To new beginnings," I repeated as I looked at Peeta. Our eyes met for a second. His crystal blue eyes mesmerized me. I long to stare at his eyes for the rest of my life. Our moment was broken as Johanna grabbed the bottle and gave another toast.

The night continued with good humor as Haymitch told stories of Johanna as a young victor. "I mean, all I saw was this skinny girl with long black hair wearing nothing but her skivvies running after Finnick with a very large axe," he laughed. "He learned a very important lesson that day. Never play a prank on Johanna while she's sleeping." Haymitch's eyes twinkled from the memory.

"Yeah, we became best buds that day. We even swore to get tattoos together, but he chickened out the last minute confessing that he was delicate and was scared of needles," Johanna guffawed. "Big, strong and manly Finnick was scared of a needle."

"I only met Finnick once when he showed up at the infirmary after they rescued Peeta, Johanna and Annie from the Capitol," Delly recollected. "He was so sweet with Annie. I couldn't believe he was the same Finnick I saw during the games." She sighed. "Then, the next day he turned up and started to flirt with me. I wanted to slap him on the face." We all laughed. "He was such a character."

"That's Finnick, the charmer. I miss him," Johanna voiced. The doorbell rang interrupting our celebration. Peeta walked to his door and looked down to find a large white box with big white box wrapped around it.

"This was left in front of the door," he said as he carried the box inside the house. He placed it in front of him.

"I don't see a card. Maybe you have a secret admirer." Delly teased. I felt my stomach dropped. Peeta peeled the large bow from the box and lifted the cover. The smell of roses filled the air. Inside the box was a white formal suit covered by a dozen roses. It was the suit that Peeta wore during his interview with Caesar Flickerman. Peeta's face turned pale as Delly reached out to hug him. I took his cold and clammy hand into mine. Enraged, Johanna took the box and flung across the room.

"What the fuck! Who the hell is this guy?" she roared as she ran to the front door. "Come out you coward." She yelled into the dark night. "Face Peeta like a man, you shit." She turned around, slammed the door and walked back into the living room. "We have to find this guy. We have to find him so I can throw an axe in his face. Where's my fucking axe when I need it?" Her face was red and her breathing harsh. She looked at Peeta. "I'm sorry, Peeta."

He gazed at her for moment before he placed a hand on his mouth and ran up the stairs into his bathroom, locking the door. The sound of retching filled the air and running water a few minutes later. When he came back down the stairs we're all in the middle of a conversation that we didn't notice his presence.

"I know Peeta, Haymitch. He's not going to leave 12. This is his home. He's not going to runaway," Delly said.

"Well, he can't stay here. This isn't a secure place," he stated. "He can get to Peeta at anytime."

"Haymitch, it wouldn't matter where he went. His life is in danger wherever he goes. It's best that he stays her. We can protect him here," I added. I couldn't bear to have him leave when I couldn't watch his back.

"You're damn right he's not going anywhere. We're going to hunt this asshole down," Johanna cried out with venom in her voice.

"Johanna, stop saying things like that, you're scaring me," Delly sniffled.

"What!? It's the truth. It's the only way for Peeta to be safe. We need to go after him when he least expects it," Johanna stated. "Get to him first."

"And how are going to do that?" I asked, frustrated and scared for Peeta. "We don't have any idea who he is? Where do we start?"

"You're doing no such thing. What we need to do is set a trap. Have Peeta call him out of hiding," Haymitch suggested.

"No way," Johanna refused.

"You'd put Peeta in harms way?" I shrieked. Delly sobbed by my side, speechless.

"Why don't all of you ask me what I want?" Peeta screamed at us. We all turned to him in shock. He was beyond angry. He was white as a ghost and his eyes blazed with heat as his hands shook.

"We're just talking, Peeta," Haymitch said as he shrank from Peeta's angry gaze.

"You're all talking about me, like I'm not here. Like I don't have a mind of own to decide what's best for me. I shouldn't be surprised. You…" He pointed at Haymitch. "You look me straight in the eye and lie to me. You make deals without my consent. You talk behind me back. Making decisions and plans with her." He then pointed to me with an accusing tone. "You did it during the games and you're still doing now. Stop treating me like I'm some idiot."

"Peeta, you need to calm down," Delly interjected as she stood up and placed a hand on his arm. He retracted his arm from her touch.

"I'm sick and tired of everyone talking over me, about me and making decisions for me. It's insulting. You making decisions for me just put me and anyone around me danger." I recalled his anger when I revealed what I had hidden from him and Haymitch in District 11. Lives were lost with my omission during the Victory Tour.

"Peet, we're just talking," Johanna defended. Peeta glared at her. "We wouldn't have done anything without your input."

"They had been lying to me and making plans without me since the games," Peeta sneered. "It's like I'm not a real person who mattered. Like I have no voice or my opinions don't matter."

"That's not true, Peeta," I whimpered. Is that what he thought and felt all this time?

"How would you like it if someone lies to you all the time. Pretend that they listen to you while they're making plans behind your back. Well, all the games, the pretending, the decision making without me is going to stop," he roared. "This is my life all of you are fucking with." He stopped as his breathing became impaired. He placed a hand on his chest as he looked into his wristband. "And if you can't, you can all get the hell out of my house. Get out of my life while you're at it."

We are all stunned into silence. Delly placed an arm over Peeta's shoulder. They walked to the sofa and sat down. He was angry and trying not to cry. He was trying to hold himself together. Peeta was right. Both Haymitch and I talked about the threat to his life right after the graffiti incident. We never approached him or consulted him of what we should do.

I sat next to him. His hands trembled as I took his into mine. "You're right, Peeta. I'm sorry. We all are."

"I'm sorry too, Peet," Haymitch added. "It's a habit I developed through my years as a mentor. I don't mean any disrespect."

"You have to stop treating me like some innocent boy who needs protection. I know that all of you care and are worried. I really appreciate it. Just stop talking behind my back. Talk to me," Peeta said as he leaned over to Delly's shoulder and closed his eyes. I felt jealous that he sought her comfort and not with me. I watched as she took his left wrist and checked on his wristband. I remembered the conversation I had with Haymitch explaining the devise and its purpose. Delly sighed when she noticed it was green but nearing yellow.

"Just breath, Peeta. Clear your mind. Take deep breaths," she said in soothing tone. Peeta responded and a few breaths later, he calmed down. When he looked up his eyes were sad and weary.

"Peeta, just remember one thing. We all care about you and we want to help. You're not alone," I reminded him. "We are all in this together. All of us." I squeezed his hand in assurance.

Throughout the games I was distrustful and resentful of those around me. My faith in humanity was nonexistent. I trusted and lived for Prim. Only she mattered to me. When Peeta entered my life, I couldn't trust what he offered. I looked at the people around me. This is my family now. We are broken and weathered but we are also resilient. Delly is ever faithful, Johanna is loyal to a fault, Haymitch is reliable and Peeta is… There are not enough words to describe him, but the Boy with the Bread even after being altered by the Capitol.

That night Haymitch and I left Peeta's home in a somber mood. The next few days were tense and nerve wracking. We never spoke of Peeta's meltdown and carried on as if it never happened. I now know I have much work to do in order to have Peeta's love, trust and faith in me restored. The end result will be worth it. He's worth. I was surprised when he showed up on my doorstep and asked me to accompany him to town. We walked together in silence and ease as we enjoyed each other's company without any angst or drama. It was a baby step. To my relief, I heard that Gale had left a few days ago returning to District 2. His job as 1st Guardsmen demanded it. The community watched us as we walked into town together. The Star Crossed Lovers were once again the topic of town gossip. I didn't care. I walked beside him with a huge smile on my face.

* * *

**Peeta POV – **

Then next morning after Delly's dinner party, I woke up as if I had a hangover. To say that I was embarrassed for my outburst the night before was an understatement. I was jolted from my thoughts as Johanna appeared in my bedroom.

"Hey, Peeta. It's close to noon. It's time you got up," she said. "Tea is ready downstairs."

"Thanks, Johanna. Hey, about what happened last night…" I started. She brought her hand up.

"No need to explain, Peeta. No apologies necessary," she added as turned and left the room. One thing you can rely on Johanna is her deep understanding of anger and how it affects you. I remembered the days and nights of her angry screams during her torture. After one of her beatings she had confessed to me that anger fueled her and had kept her alive. But it also festered and rotted her soul. She kept people at a distance. She told me to stay true to who I am and never let the Capitol change me like they had changed her. I had promised her that I would try, but the hijacking changed me in so many other ways. Still, my nature to protect the people I care about hasn't altered me. And I surprised myself when I asked Katniss to accompany me to town. I felt guilty for screaming at her days before. I can tell that she was pleased with my request, but I kept her at bay from my heart. Reaching out to her again to have her pity me after all this time, I couldn't bear it. I still don't know what is real when it came to her feelings for me. I don't have the energy and mental strength to pursue it.

Johanna confronted me after my walk with Katniss.

"Did you have a nice walk into town with Katniss?" she asked, as her face displayed no emotion of anger or resentment.

"It was okay. Just the same old curiosity about the Star Crossed Lovers in District 12," I commented. "They kept their distance even though we knew they were talking about us."

"How do you feel about that?" she queried as she crossed her arms and forehead furrowed.

"Everyone adores Katniss. She's the Mockingjay that freed Panem from the Capitol. I'm just the guy who betrayed her. The guy she forgave," I said. "Not all of Panem has forgiven me for my 'betrayal.' You're a witness to that," I mentioned. "What I did in the Capitol will be written down in history as her lover who betrayed Katniss during the rebellion. It will never be forgotten."

"We know the truth, Peeta. That's all that matters," Johanna stated. "And what they know is just out of ignorance. Not everyone believes that," she argued.

"Public opinion will always matter when it comes to us Victors, you know that, Johanna," he corrected. "It affect us on how we make decisions and how we live our lives. They're entitled to have it just as long as it doesn't dictate our lives."

You're a good man, Peeta. Even with everything you've been through, Katniss is lucky to have you," she said.

"She doesn't have me, not the way you think," I corrected.

"She would if you let yourself," she encouraged.

"I'm not going there, Johanna. I've been there so many times to only be disappointed," I said.

"She's trying, Peeta. Everyone can see it. She's changed," she implied. "Even I can admit that."

"I've changed too," I said. My confidence is shot and my courage diminished. Besides, love is in the bottom of my list of priorities.

All afternoon, my mind swirled with thoughts of my stalker. What is his endgame? What's his next move? Is Haymitch right that I should leave 12? Should I leave so that everyone I care about would not be in danger? I pulled a rake out of my shed. I needed physical exertion to distract my mind. Gardening was therapeutic and cathartic. My mind was at peace for a few hours. My body ached from staying out in the garden. It's a good ache. The next thing I knew, the sun was setting and the air dropped to a cool temperature. The air felt wonderful as it cooled my sweaty skin. I was so engrossed that I didn't see a figure sneak up from behind me. I felt a sting on the back of my neck. The world turned black as my last thoughts were of Katniss.


	9. Chapter 9 - Moving Forward

Chapter 9 – Moving Forward

_**AN: To my loyal readers, I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you for hanging on the Peeta and Katniss rollercoaster. All new characters belong to me just like any mistakes found in this chapter. Any rights or claims to the Hunger Games belong to Suzanne Collins. Thanks again for the reviews and comments. As always they are greatly appreciated. This chapter contains a slight M rating. Stay safe and Merry Christmas to all of you. **_

**Katniss POV - **

The days passed at a slow pace. Everyone's nerves were shattered. Each day my anxiety level escalated waiting for the next incident to happen. Though my walk with Peeta lifted my spirit, I knew that my joy was short-lived. My happy bubble burst as a vase of white roses was delivered to Johanna and Delly's resident a week after Peeta's meltdown. The tips were dipped in red paint that drizzled onto the flawless petals. It was a beautiful and yet horrifying sight. Its message was clear that both Johanna and Delly were not safe and were targets as well. Peeta begged both his roommates to leave 12. They rejected his plea telling him that family stuck together in good times and most of all during the bad times. They were stuck with him for good. It was an endearing sight to see the three of them in a hug that I couldn't help but envy them. Wishing I was included in Peeta's warm embrace. After a few moments of witnessing their private moment, Johanna turned and picked the vase and threw it outside into her trash bin. No words were necessary. She had cancelled any deliveries and remodeling in her home and stated that it lead to too many people having access to their house.

How the stalker got inside their home was a mystery since we all locked our doors. Haymitch proceeded to have everyone's locks replaced with a dermal scan lock. The next day he spoke to Beetee who had a new locking system shipped in express delivery. It was complicated and hi tech that the whole door had to be replaced. The mechanics was too sophisticated to understand. All I knew is that no one can get in without a hand print recognition to release the lock on the door. When the doors arrived the delivery came complete with Beetee's engineers, the sight was daunting as they spoke little but worked with precision and efficiency. By the end of the day, both doors and doorjambs in front and the back of our houses were installed. We all had our hands imprinted and programmed. Everyone had access to each other's home incase of an emergency. It was the first time in days that I sighed in relief.

Everyone's mood shifted since the installation of the security doors. The doors looked out of place, but was it served a purpose. I was so relieved that I had forgotten about Greasy Sae and Tamryn when they showed up ringing the doorbell on my new fancy door. Tamryn thought it was cool as Sae looked at it with concern. Sae and Tamryn hands were scanned to my doors since we have our breakfast together. I explained the procedure to Sae and Tamryn as they both looked puzzled but accepted it without question or an explanation. I didn't want to frighten them. Ignorance is bliss.

However, whatever calm and peace we had was shattered within days. I had just left Haymitch's house delivering his dinner and opened my mailbox. I walked straight through my door and perused through my mail. My mood soured when I noticed I received two letters. One came from Dr. Aurelius who communications both mail and calls all of which I've ignored. The other letter was from Gale. I had just dropped the letters on a table when I peered through my window to check on Peeta's house. I saw a tall figure walked to Peeta's door, knocked for a second and proceeded to head to the backyard. I looked at him in recognition, tall, broad shoulders, and dark hair with a beard. It was Gale.

"What the…" I gasped as my emotions swirled from shock, panic to anger. I turned and without hesitation pulled my bow and arrow out of the hallway closet and ran out my home. I seethed with anger as I sprinted to Peeta's home while I drew an arrow on my bow. As I turned the corner I noticed Gale hovering over Peeta's inert body on the ground. His back towards me, I snuck up behind him.

"Get away from him right now," I yelled as Gale stood up and placed a hand on his taser gun on his holster. "Hands in the air, Gale or I'll plug an arrow into your thick skull." He raised both hands. "Now turn around slowly." He turned and to my surprise it was not Gale. The intruder was the same height, build and hair coloring as former hunting partner that I assumed it was he. From behind he looked like him but as I analyzed his features he didn't resemble Gale at all. His blue eyes though frightened were soft and kind. His light complexion contrasted to Gale's darker skin tone. There was a tinge of sunburn on his pale skin. Who I saw in front of me was a complete stranger. Frightened for Peeta, I drew my hand ready to release my arrow. "Move away from him."

He moved away from Peeta when I noticed a slender pen lying next to him. "What did you do to him?" I inquired as I masked my anger. I couldn't lose control now. Peeta needed me.

"I just got here when I saw someone over him. So I called out to him but he just turned away and ran off. I think I surprised him. I went to check if Peeta was alright," he explained. "I think he's been tranquilized."

"Who are you and what do you want from Peeta?" I asked, my hands steady. My thoughts were of Peeta who lay still on the ground.

"Please let me explain, my name is Bron Masters. I'm Delly Cartwright's boyfriend," he uttered as sweat glistened on his forehead. Since Delly's return to 12 I never bothered to find what went on her life. What had happened to her during her stay in the Capitol as she took care of Peeta. Boyfriend or not, I couldn't assume his explanation were true.

"Delly doesn't live here," I corrected him. "Try again, what are you doing here?" I looked at him once more recognizing his Guardsmen uniform. The same suit that Gale wore when he first arrived at 12.

"I know she told me. But when I knocked on her door, I assumed that when she didn't answer, she would be with Peeta. She knows that I am arriving today but the train came an hour early. I wanted to surprise her," he said.

"I don't know who you are and Delly has never mentioned you to me, so how do I know you're really who you say you are?" I asked.

"I'm going to reach for my wallet and show you my identification and proof I am Delly's boyfriend," he said as he reached into his breast pocket.

"Throw you gun over there," I pointed to his left. He unbuckled the taser and threw it away from him. "Now throw your ID to me." The wallet landed face open. "Don't move. I can draw this arrow before you can take another step towards me."

"I know who you are. You're the Mockingjay, you're Katniss Everdeen," he smiled with a look of admiration on his face. "I'm just going to sit down so you can look at my ID." He sat down without my consent and clasped his hands together. His face showed a sign of relief as he sighed.

I dropped my bow and arrow and pick up his wallet. Inside was his Guardsmen identification with name, rank and resident. The picture on the card resembled the stranger before me minus facial hair. On the other side is a photo of Delly biting and pulling Bron's left earlobe as they sat on the ground with what's looks like a picnic.

They looked very much in love and happy together. I was about to address him when a voice shrieked from behind me. I cringed as I recognized the shrill that cut through the air. Delly appeared by my side as Johanna walked out of the house at the same time. It was evident that Johanna had just got out of the shower. Her hair now dark brown is still wet. "What's going on? Hey, Bron, what are you doing sitting on the ground?" she smirked.

"Bron, what are you doing here? Is that Peeta?" Delly fired questions in rapid succession as she rushed to his arms. After the quick embrace she turned to Peeta, "What happened to Peeta?" Her voice tinged with fright as she reached over to him to check his vitals.

"I found him like this" he said as he stood up brushing dirt from his pants.

I left my bow and ran up to her and Bron. I knelt beside her. "Is he okay?" I picked up the pen on the ground. "What is this?"

"It's a tranquilizer pen. We use it to sedate patients at the hospital. It's a low dosage but very strong. The effect is instant. Come on, the ground is cold and damp, let's get him inside the house," Delly instructed as she turned into nurse mode. Bron picked Peeta up onto his shoulders and walked inside his home with me, Delly and Johanna trailing behind him.

Hours later, we waited in anticipation for Peeta to regain consciousness. After a quick dinner of soup and bread, we remained downstairs as Delly returned to Peeta's side. He was still unconscious indicating how strong the sedative was used on him. The mood is bleak as we all realize how close we were to have almost lost Peeta. I shook from fear and anger. Johanna is pacing the room, cursing up a storm that would make Finnick proud. Haymitch is sullen as he conversed with Delly's boyfriend, Bron. There was no conversation of his sudden appearance during dinner since everyone was still shocked and anguished with the incident. Bron was quick to admit that he didn't get a better look at the figure that sedated Peeta. Just that he was tall, slender build and dressed in black from head to tow. He wore a black cap that hid his hair.

"This is my fault," Johanna exclaimed as she sat down next to me. "I didn't think anything would happen to him while I was busy having a spa moment." She pointed to her new colored hair.

"This isn't your fault, Jo," Bron said. "You didn't anticipate for anything to happen to Peeta in complete daylight and out in the open no less. Whoever did this was pretty bold and gutsy."

"Or desperate," Haymitch interrupted.

"Must have been the shock of life with Katniss pointing her bow at you, Bron," Johanna smirked, breaking the tense moment.

"Yeah, not the way I wanted to be introduced but…" he chuckled as he looked at me. "It's not everyday you get to meet Katniss Everdeen in the flesh while she's threatening your life."

"Sorry, it's just that…when I saw you with Peeta…" I explained. I'm frustrated as I struggled with my words.

"No apologies necessary. It's just finally great to meet you. Delly hasn't stopped talking about you since we've meet," he interrupted and smiled back at me. "I'm just glad you didn't shoot me. I can't wait to tell the guys in my squad that I finally got to meet you."

I blushed with his compliment. Just at that very moment, Delly walked down the stairs. "Peeta is still asleep. He's resting for now. There's really not much we can do but let him sleep off the sedative," she declared as she turned to Bron. "Thank you for finding him." She hugged her boyfriend. I too was grateful for Bron.

"Okay kids, why don't you take Bron back to the house, Delly," Johanna stated. "I'll call you if Peeta needs anything." She hugged Delly and Bron for the night. She turned to Haymitch. "Hey old man, you don't have to stay here for the night. I'll watch over Peeta."

Haymitch nodded and stood up. "Katniss?" he addressed me expecting to walk me home.

"I'm staying here with Johanna. I can't sleep anyway so I'll keep her company," I said as I made a unilateral decision without consulting her. He turned and hugged us and walked out the house. The gesture surprised me since he was not much of touchy feely person.

"You don't have to stay, Katniss," she commented. "He's safe. Nothing is going to happen to him."

"I don't want to go home, Johanna. I want to stay," I said. "I need to stay." I looked into her eyes hoping she would read the words I couldn't convey. My throat tightened. After a few seconds I lost my patience. "I need to see him."

"He's asleep and probably will be for the rest of the night," she stated.

"I don't care," I said. I tread up the stairs and felt as though my feet were made of lead. I walked into Peeta's bedroom to find his door a bit open. A lamp illuminated the room. On top of the king size bed and under a blanket, Peeta lay asleep. His breath is steady and calm. However, his eyes lids fluttered as if he's having a dream. I hoped that it wasn't a nightmare. I wanted him to sleep without any interruptions. A second later he moaned and shifted on his bed. I longed to brush my fingers through his unruly hair. This is the first time in weeks that I am alone with him. The last time was at Tamryn's part when he slept beside me. I wanted to slip beside him and hold him in my arms. After a few moments of sitting beside him, he opened his eyes, blinked for a second or two and sat up on his bed.

He stared at me like as if I was a dream. "Peeta?" I whispered hoping not to alarm him.

"Not real," he said. Surprised, I stood still. "You're not real." He shook his head.

"Real, Peeta," I said as stood before him. "Feel your heart."

He laughed. "See you're not real. You said that before in my dreams."

"Peeta, I'm real," I corrected him as I approached him and placed a hand on his shoulder. He gasped and closed his eyes. His body swayed back and forth.

"No!" he screamed. "Not real, note real." He repeated to himself. His scream alarmed Johanna that she entered the room with an axe in her hand.

"What's wrong?" she asked as she clutched her axe tight, her fingers turning white.

"He doesn't think I'm real," I explained as Peeta continued to chant to himself. Johanna dropped the axe and sat on the bed next to him. "Help him." I felt useless and scared that he was having an episode because of me.

"Peeta," she said in soothing manner taking a hand into hers. "It's me, Johanna. I'm real." He stopped chanting and looked at their clasped hands. "See real." She turned to me. "I think the tranquilizer has confused him." She gestured to me to come closer. "Katniss, come here. Take his other hand." I moved to the other side of the bed and took his cold hand into mine. His hand felt solid and strong. "See she's real too, Peeta." He refocused his eyes, staring into our hands and my eyes, switching back and forth.

"I'm real, Peeta, " I said my voice shaking.

"What are you two doing in my bedroom?" he asked. "What's going on?" I saw the confusion in his eyes as he spoke in a whisper.

"What's the last thing you remembered?" Johanna queried. He thought for a few second with his hand still in mine. I hope that he would let me hold him just for a little while.

"I was…in my the backyard, I think. Yeah, I was in the garden when I felt something sting me in the back of my head," he answered as he lifted his away from Johanna's and felt for the back of his neck.

"Someone knocked you out, Peet. He sedated you from behind. Bron was able to scare him away before he could do anything else to you," she said.

"Bron's here. Oh, Delly said he was arriving today," he remembered. A few seconds later his voice rose into a panic. "Is everyone okay? He didn't go after anyone, did he?" That's my Peeta. Always thinking of others before him.

"Everyone's fine. We're just glad that you're okay. You gave us a scare," Johanna chuckled. "Katniss almost shot Bron. She thought it was him that sedated you."

He looked at me realizing that I'm still there holding his hand. He pulled it away. I tried to hide the hurt I felt when he yanked his hand from me. A blush rose on his cheeks as he looked down onto his bedcovers. "How did I get here?"

"Bron carried you into the house. We all have been waiting for you to wake up," Johanna explained. "You hungry? You missed dinner."

"I'm not hungry, I actually want to take a bath," he said as he climbed out of bed. He stopped and stared at his attire. He was dressed in a plain light blue t-shirt and matching colored pajama bottoms. He looked yummy and cute with his hair tussled. He groaned, "Please tell me that Delly changed me." His eyes bulged with embarrassment. Before Johanna can answer he rushed out of his room and entered his bathroom. We hear the flush of the toilet and the tap of water released into the tub.

"Oh, come on, Peet. You're wearing you pajamas. Besides, it's not like something I haven't seen you naked before," she teased. I glared at Johanna at her implication. _'She had seen Peeta naked? When and where?' _My jealousy rose as thoughts crossed my mind of all the scenarios flashing before me. "Katniss, lighten up. You have nothing to be jealous of."

'_Really,'_ my mind screamed. _'You just admitted that you've seen Peeta naked and I'm not supposed to get jealous.' _My eyes narrowed.

"I just wanted to say thanks for being there for Peeta. We were lucky that Bron stopped whoever it was on time. Who knows where Peeta would be right now if it wasn't for him and you for watching over him," she confessed. My anger and jealousy abated. She was right. All that mattered is that Peeta is safe. My curiosity would have to wait.

"I'm going home now. Tell him...tell him I'm glad he's okay," I stumbled with my words. I turned to walk away before she placed a hand on my arm.

"Katniss," she started, "I know you're trying and I can see that now. But he's weak and vulnerable not just physically. So tread lightly and carefully. I know that you'll do whatever it takes to keep him safe. I never doubted your concern for him. I just doubted your heart. Take care of his that's all I ask." With a grateful nod, I turned and walked out of the room. A smile on my face lingered as I fell asleep that night without a nightmare.

A day later, a very sober Haymitch called us to meet at his home. I was surprised to find Bron amongst us. I watched Peeta as he talked between Delly and Bron. He looked well rested and at ease with them. My thoughts are interrupted as Haymitch addressed us.

"It has come to my attention with Peeta's last incident that Johanna is right," he said. "We need to be proactive in regards to his safety. Whoever he is, he's escalating. We can't take anymore chances of him catching Peeta off guard again." He looked at all of us. We all agreed with him in silence.

"What do you have in mind?" Peeta asked in concern. "Listen, I know that all of you are worried but if any of you got hurt because of me… I can't permit anything that might put any of you in danger."

"Shut up, Peeta," Johanna berated him. "You know, you would do same for any of us in the room. Am I right?" She challenged him with a look as if they were having a silent conversation with each other.

"What I'm suggesting won't put anyone in danger, Peeta. For now we need to figure out who this person is," Haymitch advised. "Please all of you follow me." He stood up and led us to his second floor. Since all the rooms in the Victor's Village were designed the same, I was surprised that he led us into the master bedroom. The bedroom furniture was cobwebbed and dusty. There were at least 15 mail delivery bags all over the room. "Can everyone pick up a bag and take it downstairs." We all picked up one bag. I heard Delly and Bron argue as he carried a bag for his girlfriend. I smiled.

"Now that you had us take your dirty laundry out of your filthy bedroom, do you mind telling us what this is all about?" Johanna asked in an exasperated tone. Patience is not one of her virtues.

"Inside you'll find hundreds of letters all addressed to Peeta," he explained. "These letters arrived at the hospital when Peeta was in recovery after the rebellion."

"Peeta you got fan mail," Delly teased. We all knew better. Once you became a tribute and a victor, hundreds of letters or correspondence were delivered to our homes after the games. Prim and my mother all but destroyed them at my request. Not once did I open a single letter.

"I'm hoping that somewhere in the bags we will find a clue to who he is. Or who she is. We aren't certain that Peeta's stalker is male. It could be a she for all we know," Haymitch suggested.

"What makes you think that he would even write a letter to Peeta?" I asked. The idea seemed ridiculous.

"He couldn't get to Peeta while he was in the hospital. The only way he could reach him is by correspondence. He had to have written to him, threatening him with his life. Peeta has not read any of the letters. He may have realized that the letters weren't enough to get his message across. He felt ignored. He has taken great pains to leave a message with the graffiti, the roses and the white suit. Things Peeta can't ignore," he said. " He has to have written him earlier. I know it's a stretch but I think he would find a way to let Peeta know of his existence. I mean, what is he saying by leaving a white rose and suit?

"That he's from the Capitol?" Delly answered.

"Maybe but I think he's reminding Peeta of his involvement in collaborating with the Capitol. Remember there are people in the district that hate Peeta for siding with the Capitol," Haymitch lectured. I looked at Peeta who was pale and somber. I wanted to take his hand to comfort him. Haymitch left out the one word we all knew that labeled Peeta after the war. He became a traitor to many. The thought angered me. "So what we need to do is shift through every piece of paper in each bag. Look for letters that has any hint of harmful intent to Peeta."

"You mean anything that might indicate a threat to his life," Bron said.

"Isn't that what I said?" Haymitch sighed in frustration.

Haymitch could be as eloquent as Peeta when he spoke. But this time, I needed him to speak without any fancy words or metaphors.

"Sorry Haymitch. You can't blame us. Sometimes you're difficult to understand when you're pissed drunk let alone sober," Johanna said defending Bron.

"Whatever. I don't care how insignificant. We all have to take every letter seriously," Haymitch instructed. We dug into a bag and read each letter. After an hour, we all had two piles each. I never knew that many women had proposed marriage to Peeta. Several suggested being the father of his children. I was surprised with the number of men he attracted. The good letters ranged from their admiration for surviving the arena while others wrote of wanting romance and a relationship with him. To my shock some just wanted straight up sex with him. I remembered how Johanna introduced herself for the first time during the Quarter Quell. I thought she was kidding when she said strangers wanted to sleep with him. How naïve and ignorant I was of the world around me.

"These letters are horrible," Delly said. "Why would anyone take these seriously?" She pointed to a tall pile of 'love letters' addressed to Peeta. "And these are just as horrifying. I don't see how anyone would want to hurt Peeta in any way. These people are scary." She waved a letter from her 'hate' pile.

"They're real. I had bag loads of mail when I won my game. When you become a Victor, you'll have people who love and adore you, and just as many of those that hate you," Johanna admitted. Haymitch nodded his head in agreement. I never knew the extent of my popularity. Peeta and I were the Victors for the year. We both assumed that the next victor would gain popularity, eclipsing us. But Haymitch and Effie claimed as Star Crossed Lovers, we were the most popular and unique. Our game and ratings were the highest ever. Even now as the Mockingjay I will never be just Katniss Everdeen from District 12. Just as Peeta will always be known as my scorned lover who betrayed me. I need speak to Haymitch and Effie and figure out how to redeem Peeta. I refuse to have him written in the history books as a traitor to Panem but most of all to me.

"Oh my…listen to this." Delly said, her eyes wide as saucers. "My dearest beloved Peeta. You are my soul mate. I knew it the first time I saw you. Your eyes penetrated mine as if you can see my soul. They are clear blue as the sky above me. How I long for you to cover me with your kisses. Your hands touching me all over. I cannot wait for you to take me and ravage me with…"

Bron grabbed the letter from her hand. "Delly, I think that's enough. We get the gist of some crazy woman's fantasy. I really don't think we need to hear it. You're embarrassing Peeta."

Johanna snatched the letter from Bron. "Speak for yourself," Johanna said as she continued to read the letter. Delly joined her. They both gasped seconds later.

"Is that even possible?" Delly shrieked as her cheeks turned a deep red. "Let me read that again."

"I don't know. Why don't you and Bron tell me if it's possible," Johanna teased. Delly smacked her in the head. "Hey, if you don't want to find out. I'll help you figure it out." She laughed, wiggling her eyebrows at Delly and Bron.

"You two cut it out," Haymitch warned. "I think this is all we could do for tonight." He said as he looked at Peeta. His eyes were red, tired and drooping. His shoulders slumped and his lips formed a thin line. He didn't look amused at all. "We can start again tomorrow evening after dinner. Johanna, why don't' you take Peeta home."

"Oh, right. Come on, Peet," she said as she took his arm and led out of Haymitch's house. "We can read all your love letters tomorrow." Peeta said his good byes and walked out the door.

"Thanks for dinner, Haymitch," Bron said as he shook Haymitch's hand. "Delly and I will provide dinner tomorrow."

"That would be great," Haymitch agreed. "Good night." Delly and Bron left the room leaving Haymitch and I alone.

"How many bags do I have, Haymitch," I asked in curiosity. He looked at me for a second.

"You have a ton of letters, Katniss. Not like Peeta's. Most of them wanted to say thank you for helping free Panem. You don't have many hate letters. You don't have to worry about that," he assured me. That wasn't what I wanted to hear.

"Did I receive as many letters as Peeta before the Quarter Quell?" I inquired. He shook his head to answer. I'm not surprised since I didn't do well during the interviews with my bubbling personality. Peeta gain his popularity as he charmed Panem with his witty words, his charm and his smile. The Capitolites loved him. I didn't care at all for the celebrity status or their adoration. Peeta knew how to play the game. I didn't handle it as well as him.

"Why didn't you tell me about this?" I pointed to the bags and pile of letters on the floor.

"What would be the point? He got them in the Capitol and they're still being delivered each week at the station," he said. "We all got letters after our games. It's a normal occurrence."

"Fine, we all did, but you didn't come back from a rebellion labeled as a traitor. Haymitch, they think Peeta betrayed us," I sobbed as I clutched a pile of hate letters in my hand. My Boy with the Bread was tortured and abused. And everyone thought that he supported the Capitol. I came out as the heroine that saved Panem. "He's being stalked, his life is threatened. How much more do you think he can take?"

"Katniss, we're all going to make sure nothing happens to him," he said as he took me in his arms. "We'll do whatever it takes to protect him, I promise."

"You said that the last time," I cried as I left his embrace. I knew it wasn't fair to blame him. But it was Peeta's life at stake. I couldn't stand to have another person make a promise to me to only be disappointed.

"I didn't lie to you. I swore that I would have protected him, but the situation was out of my control," he clarified. "You knew why I chose you." He looked ashamed and angry. "I had no choice."

"You had a choice. You should have told us, Haymitch," I said as I held the anger simmering inside me. "I would have never separated from him, ever."

"You know, you wouldn't have agreed. You know damn well that you would have never participated in the rebellion as our Mockingjay. Panem needed you," he said. "Peeta wanted you to live. If I had to do it all over again, Peeta would have agreed with my choice. I would pick you."

"What about Peeta? Doesn't his life mean anything to you, to anyone? He was right," I screamed. "He always came second. It isn't right. How can anyone value my life over his? He's worth more than ten of me."

"You're wrong and not because you became the Mockingjay. Peeta knew that," he said. "He loved you enough to cast his life aside because he knew you were worth it. He saw in you what others couldn't see. What I couldn't see. That you were a life worth saving."

"No, I'm not. You told me that even if it takes a hundred lifetimes, I would never be worthy of him." I agreed. I acted in self-preservation, never thinking about his worth. I just didn't want more blood in my hands, especially if it was Peeta's. I was tired and ready to give up.

"I was wrong to say that. You are worthy. Why would Peeta go through everything he experienced if he didn't think you were worth it," he added. He was wrong but if Peeta thought I was worth dying for, I could do the same for him. Now that I know how I feel about him.

"Besides, what's the point in rehashing all this? It's done and over with. We need to concentrate on how to protect Peeta," he continued. "Did you watch him tonight? He looked like he's giving up. That's what I saw, Katniss."

"I know. He's beaten and tired. His mind is broken and he's so sad all the time," I stated. "What are we going to do?"

"We remind him everyday, that we're here for him. We tell him not to give up," he rallied.

"I miss him, Haymitch," I wailed, tears tracked down my cheeks.

"I miss him too," he admitted. "I miss the kid who came to my house delivering fresh bread in the morning. I miss how he would hide my liquor and make me search for it all over my house."

I remembered that boy. I just wished I didn't dismiss him when he was whole, happy and in love with me. "But there is one thing I do know. We can get that Peeta back," he continued with a wistful look on his face.

"How?" I asked as I wiped my snot and tears on my sleeve.

"With a lot of time and patience. We need to give him that. But also we need to remind him…tell him that we love him," he challenged.

Love. The one thing he sought for all his life. The one thing his mother denied him. I never knew it but it was love that drew me to him, even when I denied my feelings for him. I felt sadness and shame for ignoring what has been in front of me. I thought I was being noble when I was willing to sacrifice my life for his. I was wrong. It was out of love. It was time that I admitted it to Peeta. I just hope he gives me the chance.

Each day we took turns going through the bags. More arrived from the Capitol when Dr. Aurelius released them to our care. The job was daunting but necessary. I had to admit that a few left me embarrassed as his admirers wrote in great detail of how they would seduce Peeta. After reading a couple of letters, I found myself reenacting them in my dreams. I woke up gasping, my breath labored and my heart racing. I reached over to Peeta hoping he was beside me. I flushed with the memory of his hands roving over my naked chest as his lips grazed between my breasts. There is an unfamiliar ache and wetness between my legs. Reading his 'fan mail' is going to be the death of me. Its no wonder that he refused to read them around us. It would take weeks before we finished going through them. I hope that in time, we can yield some results. This incident did produce spending more time in his company. All of us would have dinner 2- 3 times a week. It's great to have family again. It was a feeling I missed when my father passed away.

I felt bad for meeting Bron the way I did. So I asked him and Delly to join me for dinner one night. It was a simple affair of lamb stew and bread. Delly brought dessert that Bron had ordered from the Capitol. It was to-die-for Crème Brule. I never had anything like it. Where was this when I was in the Capitol? We sat in my living room for tea and coffee. It was nice to have an evening with no drama. I smiled at the two of them sitting on my sofa. Delly giggled when Bron threatened to not shave the next day. He scrubbed his razor stubble chin on her cheek when she told the story of how she 'suggested' that he better shave off his beard. He argued back that he liked it because made him look manly and mature.

"If you ever expect to see my bed again, Bron. You better have all that hair off your face," she retorted in mock anger. Bron smiled back and threatened to tickle her to death.

"So Delly how did you and Bron meet?" I wondered. He was the opposite of what I thought she was attracted to. Her blond curly hair was in contrast to his dark head. It was taboo for blond hair Merchants to mingle with dark hair and olive skinned Seam.

"It was love at first sight for me," Bron said with a bright smile and a twinkle in his eyes.

"Oh, really. For me it was love at first vomit," she returned. Bron laughed at the recollection. "We met in District 13 at the Recovering Unit. There he was lying in bed with a bandage covering one eye, two fractured legs and a broken arm. I saw him looking green and queasy. He was reaching for a bucket next to him. So I went to him to help when he sat up in bed and vomited all over my uniform. That's how I first met Bron." She smiled like it was the most romantic thing that had ever happened to her. "I also discovered he was biggest flirt in the unit."

"I couldn't help myself. You were just the most beautiful girl I've ever seen," he said in his defense.

"Right, that why's you were also flirting with what's her name…Sienna Cooley," she corrected.

"Hey, I was in pain. I would have flirted with anyone for more morphine," he said.

"Anyway, so for days he would find any excuse for me to help him. He needed another blanket because he was cold or having to adjust his bed when he felt uncomfortable," she said.

"I was uncomfortable. How would you like it if you're legs and arm is in a cast for days and can't get up on your own without getting help from someone," he said.

"You do know that there were other healers and nurses in the ward besides me right?" she challenged him.

"I just wanted you," he confessed as he looked nonplus to her.

"The best excuse was when he kept telling me that he needed to write to his family back in the Capitol and needed my help since his right arm was broken," she continued.

"So did you help him?" I asked curious of their history together.

"Yeah, she came back with a digital writing pad," he laughed. "She resisted my charm for a long time."

"I was working and was busy. I didn't have time for romance. I didn't know if his feelings was true or real," she added. "Besides, he was from the Capitol."

"A bone of contention between us. I couldn't understand why she resisted me when I knew she felt something happening between us," he said. "After I was released I persisted. I asked her to have dinner with me everyday. And I kept asking until she relented."

"Why did it matter if he was Capitol, Delly?" I asked.

"Because I'm from District 12. What kind of relationship could we have with the class difference," she explained. "I argued with him that we would never work. I wanted to return to 12 and his life is in the Capitol. But in reality, he scared me." I knew how she felt. The feelings Peeta instilled in me frightened and angered me. I didn't want to fall in love especially with a merchant boy. I didn't realize that there were a class difference between the Capitol and Merchants. They seemed the same to me.

"What finally got you to give Bron a chance," I inquired.

"Peeta. He knew I was interested in someone. I never mentioned his name but that he was from the Capitol. When I told him, he didn't even blink," Delly said. "He said I was being stupid for denying my feelings and for a chance of happiness. Peeta said to trust my heart." She paused for second. "He said it was okay to be scared because it meant that Bron must really mean something to me. Because love is scary and messy but worth it if he made me happy." She turned to Bron and took his large hand into hers. I wished I had Delly's courage at the time I first felt something for Peeta.

"So when I met Peeta at Johanna's house in District 7, I told him he was my new best bud. How can I not love the guy for opening Delly's eyes and heart," Bron said. "And he is Delly's best friend." My heart swelled with the thought of Peeta playing matchmaker for his best friend. Bron was right how can anyone not love Peeta. That night I dreamt of Peeta and I in the meadow holding each other as we lay on soft green grass. It was a pleasant dream that I wished to happen.

The next couple of days pass without incident. One evening I get a surprise visit from Haymitch with Thom trailing behind him. "What's wrong Haymitch," my voice hitched to a panic tone. "Did something happen to Peeta?" My thoughts and mind were always on Peeta.

"Um, not exactly but we do need to talk about him," Haymitch said. I led them into my living room. "Go ahead Thom, you tell her." They both sat down on the long sofa as I sat across them.

Thom looked nervous. "Well, it just that someone in town is applying to open a bakery café. I'm in the process of having the application processed," he said.

"That can't happen. If anyone is going to rebuild the bakery it should be Peeta," I exclaimed.

"I agree with you and so does Haymitch," Thom agreed.

"The problem is that every time someone mentions it to Peeta, he gets a full blown panic attack," Haymitch explained. "How are going to get him to agree to at least apply for the application if he gets an episode?"

"I didn't know that," I said. I knew that when he baked Tamryn's cake, Delly mentioned how distraught he was. He didn't sleep for days. "Does Peeta know about this?" The fact that Haymitch approached me with Thom made me wonder if Peeta is aware of the situation.

Haymitch was silent confirming my suspicion. "Haymitch, we promised Peeta that we would not do things behind his back anymore. And this is definitely one of them," I scolded him.

"I know," he said with a look of shame on his face. "I'm sorry but it's a hard habit to break. I don't want to hurt him. It's obvious that the bakery is a very painful memory for him. But how do you think he'll react when we tell him someone is trying to take over his family's business. He's not even ready."

"It doesn't matter. He should be here discussing this with Thom," I corrected. "At least just let him know. Maybe the threat of someone trying to rebuild the bakery might force him to face his demons. He needs something to fight for."

"You're right Katniss," Haymitch admitted. "Thom and I will talk to Peeta tomorrow."

"I want to be there," I said.

"Katniss, that might not be a good idea," Haymitch said.

"I want to be there to when you tell him," I said. "If you think it's going to be a problem then have everyone there just in case something happens. We should all be there to show our support."

"It's settle then. Before dinner we'll talk to Peeta and see how he reacts," Haymitch agreed. I walked them over to my door when Thom called my attention.

"Katniss, before I leave I need to talk to you," he announced. He looked nervous and scared all of the sudden. I bade Haymitch good night and turned to Thom who stood up.

"I don't know how to…I guess I should apologize first…" he started.

"Thom, sit down. What is it you need to talk about?" I asked.

"It's about Gale," he said. I sat in my chair stunned. He continued, "I've been keeping in touch with him since your return to District 12." He paused. "He was really worried about you being alone and recovering from the rebellion that he asked me to…give him updates. He'd also asked about Peeta. Wondering how he was doing."

"Oh," I said.

"I didn't mean to tell him about what's been going on between you and Peeta," he lamented. "He'd ask me questions whether or not you're seen together or you know…"

"You mean you've been spying on me and Peeta, and reporting to Gale," I accused.

"I wasn't reporting to him I was just…" he said. "He wanted to know if the rumors were true."

"What rumors, Thom? What is everyone gossiping in town about Peeta and me?" I asked.

"The rumor is that you broke up and have been avoiding each other," he said. "And since no one saw you two together, we all assumed that the rumor was true. That you dumped him for betraying you while he was in the Capitol. And at District 13 everyone saw you with Gale." I closed my eyes in shame. "When Peeta arrived at 13, he was different. Not a lover returning to you. You avoided him and were forced to work with him. It just confirmed what we all thought."

I wanted to scream. I treated Peeta with scorn and anger. I didn't want anything to do with him. I kept Gale beside me. My behavior at 13 only solidified the rumors. "So when you came back, everyone assumed that you were pining after Gale because they would see you going into the woods like you used to," he added. "I sorta encouraged him to visit you because you did look sad and unhappy without him."

And the gossip kept getting worse as he continued with his observation. My mind reeled from the rumors rampant all over Panem.

"Most people in town are so angry with Peeta for what he did to you..." he said.

"He didn't do anything to me!" I screamed. "Peeta is not a traitor. He was tortured and abused in the Capitol. He was tortured for information about the rebellion. A rebellion that he wasn't even aware was forming. They almost killed him because of me." My voice rose as tears filled my eyes. "All the rumors are nothing but lies. And they have to stop, do you hear me?"

Thom stood frozen in fear from my wrath. I sidled before him even though he towered over me. "And you had no right to be talking to Gale. Reporting to him like some flunky. It's your fault that he has some delusion of us living happily ever after. I never wanted Gale that way. And as for Peeta, whatever is going on between Peeta and I is private and none of anyone's business." I said as I poked my finger into Thom's chest.

"I'm sorry, Katniss," he apologized. I waved him aside. Peeta's life was already filled with many complications. I feared for his reaction to the news about the bakery. Peeta had to know the rumors going around about him. It was evident when we walked to town that day.

"I thought Peeta was your friend, Thom," I uttered. "How could you encourage Gale with nothing but rumors and innuendo."

"He is my friend. He's one of the nicest guys I've known even before the rebellion," he said. "But I have been friends with Gale longer than Peeta. I wanted you both to be happy. We all thought that's who you wanted."

"My happiness is no one's concern, especially Gale," I said in resignation. "Please leave." I was tired of being angry and frustrated. Taking it out of Thom would serve no purpose. It wouldn't erase the mistakes I made.

"I'm really sorry for causing you and Peeta any harm," he apologized. He turned and left my home.

* * *

**Peeta POV –**

I stood in my shower letting the hot water cascade over my aching body. It's been days and I can still feel the sting on the back of my neck where the pen penetrated my skin. Delly told me that the pen left a bruise from the impact. I could feel it when I lay on my back. A reminder of the close call I had with my stalker. If it were not for Bron, who knew where I would be right now. I looked down to see my prosthetic leg shiny and wet. I will never get used to seeing my fake limb. The shiny unit was waterproof and can withstand hot and cold temperature. It's not the usual leg I used daily.

The shower was a welcome relief after hours of numbing and mindless reading of my 'fan mail.' I have seen and experienced a lot when I was in the Capitol. It didn't prepare me for the content written on the letters. I knew and felt the hate and anger from the townspeople in 12. The letters verified what I had already known and there is nothing I could do to change it. As amusing as some of letter are they left me wanting of a life that I know I will never have. I was resigned that the fake leg could repulse any normal woman but with my hijacking it only added to my list of undesirable attributes. Before the games nobody needed me, now who would want me. I shook myself from my own pity party and took a deep breath. I didn't realize that I stayed in the shower too long as the water turned hot to freezing. I yelped as the water hit me. I reached for a towel and dried myself. Sitting down the edge of the tub, I replaced my waterproofed leg with my state of the art prosthesis that not only looked real, but it felt like my own skin. From a distance you couldn't tell I'm wearing a fake limb. I rubbed my towel to dry my hair then realized that I didn't bring a change of clothes with me after the shower.

I walked into my bedroom feeling the cool floor on my bare foot. I opened a drawer finding that all my boxer shorts are still downstairs in the laundry room. Without giving it much thought, I walked down the stair sporting a towel around my hips. I heard a gasp. From the living room Johanna, Delly, and Katniss sat staring at me. I stared back realizing that Katniss is looking at my tattoo right in the middle of my chest.

Delly giggled, "Umm, Peet we have company." I blushed for a second and walked past them to retrieve my clothes.

"Was that a tattoo on his chest?" Katniss asked in a surprised tone.

"Yup, he designed it himself. Even designed mine and Annie's too," Johanna added, I can hear her say as I disappeared in to the laundry room. _'Oh, crap,'_ my mind reeled. I had never intended to let Katniss see my tattoo, ever. Johanna, Annie and I got one months after we were released from 13. It was sort of a bond and vow we took together, a reminder that we survived Snow and the Capitol. They had tortured our minds and our bodies, but they didn't break us. We survived. Our bodies belong to us.

Finding enough clothes in the laundry room, I joined the ladies in the living room. I hopped on one foot to another trying to put on some socks then sat down on the sofa. "What's going on? Isn't our scheduled dinner tomorrow night?" I inquired as I looked to Johanna. I tried not looking at Katniss' direction as I remembered that I wore a towel when she saw me. I hoped that I didn't turn too red from blushing from embarrassment. I was glad that I wore my natural leg and not my metallic one. I couldn't bear her to see me that way.

"Last minute change of plans, Peet," she explained. "Katniss brought dinner and Haymitch will be here in a few minutes." Before I could ask for an explanation, Haymitch and Thom walked into the room.

"Peeta, ladies. I hope that I didn't interrupt any plans you may have made this evening," he said as he sat down and nodded Thom to do the same. Everyone greeted our guest as if they were expecting him.

"Hi, Thom," I greeted him then I turned to Delly. " Is Bron joining us?"

"He has patrol tonight," Delly explained. "It's good to see you, Thom."

"Hey, Delly," Thom said. "I want to thank for the dinner invitation. It's nice to see you again, Johanna." She nodded her head in greeting.

I squinted my eyes. I could tell that something was up. "Okay, can anyone tell me what the hell is going on," I asked.

"Nothing is up, Peeta," Haymitch said. "I mean nothing to serious or life threatening."

"Actually, Peeta. It was my idea to have everyone here this evening to discuss a matter that needs to be addressed," Katniss interrupted. She wrung her hands together. It was a habit I noticed when she was nervous.

"What's going on? All of you are nervous about something and I feel that it has to do something with me," I said. "This is beginning to feel like an intervention or something."

"I swear it isn't, Peeta," Haymitch said. "But there something we need to discuss with you and we thought that we should be here for moral support."

"Okay, now you're all making me nervous and anxious," I cringed to myself. "Will some just tell me what's going on?" I tried not to let my anxiety show in front of them.

"I guess it's best that I should explain why I'm here," Thom said as he paused for a second. "You know that I work at the New Justice building. I handle new business applications and construction permits for District 12. A couple of days ago, someone applied for a new bakery permit." I stiffened at the mention of the bakery.

"I thought that I should give you a heads up. I know that you didn't react well the last time I mentioned it," said Thom as he looked at Haymitch. "But I thought that maybe you would like to give it some thought as to whether you might apply yourself. It would be a shame to have your family business be taken away from you. It wouldn't have to done right away."

"What he means is," Haymitch interrupted. "You don't have to build it right away. You just need to apply for the planning and designing of the bakery. We know that you're not ready…"

"And we didn't want you to lose what is rightfully yours," Delly included.

"We're not pushing you to do anything, Peet," Johanna interjected. "Just think about it. Fast. Because you need to apply soon."

"So you're all here because of the bakery. Someone applied for it to be rebuild." I asked. "Somehow this does feel like an intervention. Why are you all here? I could have discussed this Thom without an audience." I knew they meant well since I've haven't baked anything since Tamryn's birthday day. And that incident was difficult and stressful.

"There a process and procedure that has to be followed," Thom explained. "Anyone can apply for new store to be approved, but actual ownership has to be considered in case someone else is applying for it. We can't have two stores opening up at the same time. It isn't fair. As the town grows then another bakery can be considered."

"You haven't mentioned whether you are interested in going back to baking or reopening your family business," Delly said. "We just want you to be aware of your options. And to think about your future."

"We're here to support you, Peeta," Katniss chimed in. "We'll be behind you with whatever decision you make."

"You guys are really something else," I snickered. "Did you honestly think I was gong to have another meltdown?" I waited for a response and none came. "Yes, I didn't react well the time first time Thom brought it up. The timing wasn't right. It was just too soon." I see a sigh of relief from everyone's faces. Thom smiled. "I'm okay. Don't you think that my immediate problem and concern should be finding my stalker than worrying rebuilding the bakery?"

"You can still think about it though," Johanna mentioned. "Don't put your life on hold because of some guy stalking you. You're doing so well and it's time that you should consider what you want to do about the bakery." The room was silent as they waited for me to speak.

"This is a lot to think about. I don't know what to say," I admitted and sighed to myself.

"I told you he'd be all right," Delly said as she punched Haymitch in the arm. He howled from the punch. "Served you right for making this more than it should be."

"Don't be harsh with Haymitch, Delly," I said. "He meant well."

"So does that mean that your ready to apply for the reconstruction because I can bring the papers here tomorrow," Thom said in an excited tone.

"Now hold on," I chuckled. "I didn't say that. I need a couple of days to make a decision."

"That's all the time you have because once you apply, the town's new council has to approve the application," Thom added. My smile dropped as I realized my chances of rebuilding my family business might be slim. The new council was made up of people unknown to me with the exception of Thom. "Just let me say something to help you decide." He looked to Haymitch and Katniss for a second.

"District 12 is quickly rebuilding itself. There are new stores and things that were not available to us before." he smirked. I remember the day he pointed the new stores in town. "The community is thriving and a stranger is applying for a new bakery. As Delly said the bakery is rightfully yours. Your father's bakery was a staple in the merchant town before the rebellion. Every morning as I walked to school I remember the smell of bread coming from your store. It was a symbol of home to me, what made 12 a happy memory. And, I never forgot your father's generous heart when he provided bread to the families who were reaped. That bakery is your legacy, Peeta. I don't want your legacy to be forgotten or stolen from you. Only one bakery should be build and that should be the Mellark's Bakery.

With the exception of Thom and myself, the girls and Haymitch had tears in their eyes. I looked around me. This was my family now.

"Nice speech, Thom," I smirked. "How long did you work on that?"

"I had a little help," he admitted as his eyes turned to Haymitch.

"I just gave him a few pointers. You should have heard his first speech," Haymitch confessed as his eyes widened. I laughed. It was the first time in weeks that something lifted my spirits.

That night after a hearty meal with everyone, I went to bed feeling light and thinking that I have a chance for a bright future. I look forward to moving on with my new family and prospect.


	10. Chapter 10 - Bumps on the Road

Chapter 10 – Bumps on the Road

_**AN: So, new career and new job in the upcoming New Year. This means shorter chapters to update but I hope to upload new chapters in a regular basis. Happy New Year everyone and stay safe.**_

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The next day my hand shook as I reached for the phone to call Dr. Aurelius. I took a deep breath as I closed my eyes. My sessions have continued and more so now that he is aware of my last incident regarding my stalker. He had even advised me that if I need more sessions I should call him regardless of what time. Though they have been helpful I still find them tiring emotionally as well as physically. At least at the end of each session I no longer feel the need to stay in bed. I guess I am made some progress. Forty-five minutes later, I complete my session but make a last minute request.

"Dr. Aurelius, can you send me my box?" I asked in a whisper as if someone is listening to our conversation.

"Your art box, you mean," he reiterated. I can hear the concern in his tone. "You're doing well and having those might send your recovery back. Are you sure you ready to have those in your possession?"

"I'll never be ready, but I think under these circumstances, I would rather have the box for safe keeping," I said. I'm not sure what I'll do when I have them but I need them close by.

"It's safe here, Peeta. Nobody but you and this hospital staff know the existence of its' contents," Dr. Aurelius said. "And everyone in my staff is under the patient/hospital staff confidentiality clause. Floor 4 staff is under strict rules to never discuss what happens there. Any information or leak will result in dismissal from the premises and assignment to other districts."

"I'd rather be safe than sorry. Please send them to me," I demanded. "You said that they belong to me and that I can have them any time I want."

"Okay, I'll package it myself," he confirmed. "It will be expedited to 11 within hours. It will be hand delivered to 12."

"When you do send them, can you address it to Delly Cartwright?" I asked. "Someone might be tempted to open or steal it if it's addressed to me or Johanna."

"I understand," he said. "Anything else you want to talk about or address before we end our call?"

"No, Dr. Aurelius. I feel good about what we discussed," I confirmed. Today's session left me with a positive outlook for my future.

"Just make sure you're making the right decision for yourself regarding the bakery," he counseled. "It's big decision that will have a lot of impact on your life and those around you. I feel that you're ready but that's my opinion. Do what you think is best for you."

I smiled at his approval and faith in me to make the right decision. I know that I have to decide what my future holds with the bakery. I thought long and hard what reconstructing it would do for me. Am I ready? Honestly, I don't know. Will the thoughts and memories of my family cause me to have another panic attack or an episode? That alone is reason enough to decide against rebuilding my family business. But what do I have for a future? Any proceeds I received as a victor ceased soon after my second reaping. I had saved more than enough to last a lifetime. I couldn't go through my life without some form of occupation. The only thing I've known is baking and drawing. The latter will not produce a decent income. It is more of a hobby than a serious profession. Besides, who would take my work seriously? Who would buy art from a former victor and traitor of District 12? With that thought in mind, my decision was made for me of what I needed to do. I went to bed that night feeling optimistic and scared in anticipation for my decision for the bakery and the box's arrival.

The next morning my lingering thoughts are interrupted as Delly stepped into my home. Her bright smile etched on her face never failed to calm me. Besides being one of the remaining survivors of District 12 she had been a great source of comfort and a happy reminder of the family I used to have. Though my bond with Johanna was forged by the Capitol's abuse and torture, Delly became someone I can rely on and trust. We had revealed a lot of secrets during my recovery. I was convinced that Johanna and I would not survive but here we are alive and with each day rebuilding our lives with the help of Delly Cartwright.

"Hey, Peeta. I got that packaged you were waiting for," she announced as she sat beside me and dropped the box on the coffee table. She reached over my forehead to check my temperature. My Delly always looking out for me. "You look a little flush, are you feeling okay?" she asked in concern and checked on my wristband.

"I'm feeling fine, Del," I returned. "Thanks for getting this for me." I picked up the package from the table and placed it on my lap. I held my breath for a moment.

"Do you want me to leave?" she asked. "I know it's from Dr. Aurelius." She pointed to the label on the box. I shook my head as I stared it for a minute.

"Could you stay with me?" I requested. She nodded her head and grabbed my hand for a moment. I peeled off the tape, removed the parcel paper wrapped around the box and lifted the lid. On top was a short note from Dr. Aurelius. _'If you need me for any reason please don't hesitate to call.' _I gave the note to Delly to read. I lifted a drawing pad and counted the pads inside the box making sure all of them were accounted for.

I flipped the cover page to reveal a horrifying image of Mutt Katniss with red eyes and bared sharp teeth pointing her bow. I heard a gasp beside me as I had forgotten that Delly was there beside me.

"Peeta!" she exclaimed. "Why in the world would you…"

"It's okay, Delly. I asked Dr. Aurelius to send my drawings to me," I explained as I flipped a couple of pages over. Each new page revealed a horrifying and terrifying image of Katniss in a not so flattering image.

"You don't need to see those again. Why would you want to?" she asked. She grabbed the box from me.

"I have to, Delly. I can't have them in the wrong hands. I can't trust anyone in the Capitol to find these," I told her. I closed the pad and sighed to myself. "I need to face parts of me that still exist."

"Peeta, you're not that person anymore," she interrupted.

"I will never be the same. I know that now," I admitted. "I know that whatever future or dreams I had will never come true. Whatever chance I had died when the Capitol altered me. They changed me, Delly. I can never deny that fact."

"You're wrong. How many times do we have to have this conversation? They didn't change you completely. You just need to take each day at a time. And, you have to…you have to let people in, Peeta," she suggested. I knew what she implied but I couldn't afford to think that way. "You have a future to look forward to. You're have people who love and care about you." She paused for a moment as she took my shaking hand into hers. "Have you decided what to do with the bakery?"

"I have," I said not adding more to my statement. I almost laughed at Delly's sour expression as she waited for me to continue.

"Well, tell me. What have you decided?" she asked, her brows lifted on her forehead. Her curiosity peaked.

"I'm not telling you," I answered. She slapped my arm not to harm but to aggravate.

"That's mean, Peeta," she said with mock anger.

"I've made a decision but I need to ask Haymitch something first," I explained. "I don't want to say anything until I speak to him."

"Oh," Delly responded in disappointment.

"You know me, Delly. You knew before anyone what my answer would be," I told her as I wrapped an arm over her shoulder. She smiled back at me because she did know. She always had.

"I'm so proud of you, Peeta," she said as she tussled my hair with her hand. "And you need to shave and get a haircut soon. You're going to be a business owner and you can't be looking like some bum off the street."

"Hey, I thought you said I was cute with my long hair," I said in defense. She was right. I did need a decent shave and haircut. But the thought of a sharp instrument in close proximity to my person still shook me. And finding a barber in town who I can trust was still an issue.

"If you want, I can cut it for you?" she volunteered.

"No way, Delly. I remembered the last time you cut my hair," I yelped. Memories of that incident still haunted me. My hair had grown so long one hot summer. I remembered the look on my mother's face when she saw me after my cut.

"Hey, I was only 11 and it was your idea," she reminded me. I shivered at the memory of the uneven haircut I received. My mother threatened to shave my head. In horror, I ran away. My mother screamed at me for losing business for one day as my father searched for me. The ending result was my father taking me to a barbershop and receiving the shortest haircut of my life as a lesson. My parents never knew who was my stylist and years later, Delly and I would laugh at the memory.

After a moment of going down memory lane, Delly picked up another pad. Inside were drawings of Tamryn that I drew when I was back in the Capitol after my last visit. She eyed them with great interest. "These are wonderful, Peeta. How can you say that you're not the same? These drawings prove otherwise." She continued to peer into my drawings. They were several drawing of Tamryn that I drew in my spare time. She smiled after a few minutes.

"What's so amusing?" I asked. She was looking at a drawing of Tamryn playing in a field of flowers.

"I'd tell you but you wouldn't believe me," she answered. I narrowed my eyes as she continued to ignore me. "Have you heard from Johanna?"

"She called to let me know that she arrived at 4 safely," I answered back. "She says that little Finn is getting real big and looking just like his daddy." I sighed at the memory of our conversation. "I wish I could visit but Johanna's says she's still having memory lapses. And Annie doesn't want to leave 4 since it's the only home she's every known. I don't blame her." Delly nodded at me. I needed to come back to 12 after the war. As for my reasons for returning to 12, I couldn't acknowledge or admit the truth.

I made a few attempts to contacting Annie but her mental state would lapse between the tortures she endured at the Capitol and reliving the death of Finnick over and over whenever she saw me. She would burst into tears or lapse into a catatonic state for hours. For some reason her last recollection of Finnick was with me in the Star Squad at District 13. It was through Finn's birth that helped her heal and recover from the war. After her release, Johanna spent months with her to help Annie throughout her pregnancy. I wished I had been there for her but I was incarcerated at the hospital soon after the end of the rebellion and her reaction to my presence only agitated her.

"Bron will be working night patrols so I'll be staying with you for the next few days," she announced. "I'll even cook." I balked at the idea. I didn't want Delly in harms way and staying with me only made her a bigger target. So I used another tactic to dissuade her from staying with me.

"Um, Delly as much as I adore you, you are not getting near my kitchen," I said. "You make a mess and I have to clean up after you."

Her eyes narrowed at me. "You didn't complain before when I was living with you," she accused.

I shrugged my shoulders, "I didn't have a choice then," I admitted. "Besides, what would your ever loving boyfriend say about you cooking and staying overnight with another man?"

"You're not a man," she said. Ouch. "You're family. I'm more surprised that you're not objecting with me staying with you than my cooking."

"Who said I agreed with you?" I said.

"I'm staying. And you're not going to win this argument," she said as she planted herself further into my sofa and crossed her arms. "If I'm not, then I'm going to ask Katniss to stay with you." She continued with a smug look on her face. I knew not to argue any further.

"You can't babysit me 24/7. Don't you have a job to go back to?" I rebutted.

"I have a whole week off and I'll be spending them with you as much as I can and, yes Bron knows I'm here," she said. "And he agreed that I should stay with you, just in case."

"I can take care of myself, Delly," I said in mild irritation for their decision. "You should be with Bron who can protect you."

"He trusts you to take care of me," Delly asserted. I was touched by their trust in me. "Listen, he's on night patrols meaning that he's at work from 1am until 9 in the morning. So he'll be asleep during the day. He feels better that I stay with you instead alone in my house without Johanna. He's close by in case anything happens."

I wondered about Katniss all alone in her house. Who took care of her?

That night I dreamt of sleeping in a meadow of dandelions and wild flowers. I stared into the clear blue sky. A face hovered over me blurring my vision. I smiled as she reached down and extended her small hand to me. Her hair in a single braid glistened from the sunlight. She looked pretty and adorable.

"Hey, Prim," I said. She smiled as she pulled my hand to help me up. "It's been awhile."

"You look good, Peeta," she said. "You still need to put more meat in your thin bones. You need to have Katniss make her lamb stew for you. That will fatten you up real quick."

"Where are we going?" I asked as we walked further into the woods. We walked in silence for a few minutes but stopped at the base of the tallest and biggest tree I've ever seen.

"You need to remember this when you wake up, okay?" she said as she tugged at my hand. "It's important."

I nodded and looked at the tree. The trunk was massive, at least 9 feet wide. The roots jutted out of the ground. I looked at the bottom of the trunk at eye level and noticed an etching on the bark. I walked closer to the tree. "Peeta, you know that I'll always be with you. Just like Katniss. Just remind her that I'm never far away from her. And tell her I love her. It's important that you remember this when you wake up." She held me in her tiny arms. "Please Peeta, don't forget."

"I promise, Prim," I said. I woke up from my dream hearing a scream that tore through the evening air. I blinked a couple of time to reassure myself that I wasn't dreaming. I recognized the scream anywhere. I was putting my leg on when the screaming stopped. I looked out my window to Katniss' house and noticed that her bedroom light was unlit. I debated for a few seconds and wondered if I had the right to go over to her house.

"Peeta, what are you waiting for?" Delly asked with concern and disappointment in her eyes. I stood before her for a second when she reached over and grabbed my hand. We ran into her Katniss' home. I rushed up the stairs to see her cowering on the floor in the corner of her room.

"Katniss," I said in a soft tone, hoping not to alarm her. She continued to sob and shake. I looked at Delly from behind me and turned back to Katniss. "Katniss, it's me Peeta. You're okay. You're home."

She peered from behind her messy hair, blinking her teary eyes. She reached over to me and held me tight as she wrapped her arms around me waist. Her cries grew louder as her tears soaked my nightshirt. "Shh, you okay, Katniss. See Delly and I are here. You're safe." I rubbed a hand down her back, soothing her shaking body.

"They took Prim from me," she sobbed and continued to cry all over me, clutching my chest tight. "I miss her so much."

"I know, Katniss. I miss her too," I said. Then I realized that Prim's birthday is coming. Her appearance in my dreams was timely. I wondered if my dream was preparing me for this. The next few days are going to be hard for Katniss. I moved a bit from her embrace and she tightened her arms around me. It was uncomfortable sitting on the cold floor. "Why don't we get off the ground? It's cold and you'll be warmer on your bed." She nodded, as she stood up climbed onto her bed. I reached to grab a blanket on the foot of her bed when she grabbed my hand. "Please stay with me." I gulped as my throat tightened at her request. I turned to Delly.

"Of course, Peeta will stay with you, right Peeta?" Delly confirmed. She saw the panicked look in my eyes. "He'll stay for as long as you need." I nodded and turned to Katniss as she stared into my eyes. With tears still forming, she opened her arms to me. A gesture I couldn't refuse. I could never deny Katniss anything even if my mind screamed from fright and confusion.

Delly crept out of the room leaving us alone; my mind was fighting what my heart couldn't deny. As much as she scares me, I will always care for Katniss. It was about loving her that I feared of repeating. I was never what she wanted and who I am now is someone I couldn't offer. There is a very tiny part of me that still hoped for a future with Katniss. Could I let myself believe that she loved me as much as I loved her? I felt a tinge of hope and optimism swell from my chest. I envisioned a future of us holding each other as we are now. I felt peace for a moment as my eyes closed with the last thought of Katniss, her head resting on my chest.

I was jolted from my sleep as I heard Sae's voice coming from behind Katniss' bedroom door. I wiped a hand across my eyes and reminded myself of what had occurred early this morning. I looked beside me to find the bed empty. With sigh, my heart dropped at the realization that Katniss had abandoned me. She took the comfort she needed and bailed. I should have realized that nothing had really changed between us. I was being used again.

I opened the door to see an amused Sae smiling at me. "She's not here, Sae. I need to go back to my house," I said as I walked past her and ran out of Katniss' home. I slammed my door closed as I reached my own home. Delly had a smile on her face.

"Oh, Peeta. How was your evening with Katniss?" she asked as she wiggled her brows.

"Don't want to talk about and don't ever bring it up again," I yelled as I walked past her and ran up my room. _'Not again, not again.'_ My mind reeled. I spent the day in bed, not opening my door to anyone. Delly made a few attempts to get me out of bed. I ignored her invitations for breakfast and lunch. I turned off my phone. I needed to regroup my thoughts and remind myself of who I am and what I meant to Katniss. _'She's your friend in need of comfort for the days ahead. Nothing else._' I told myself. The next time she calls out to me I will remember that. I opened the door, walked downstairs and found Delly preparing dinner. We ate in silence.

"Just remember that she's hurting right now. Don't take what she does or says seriously, Peeta," she lectured me. I nodded in agreement. I let my heart take over whenever I'm around Katniss. It was a mistake I would not repeat again. I went to bed weary and tired. That night I didn't dream at all.

The next day Haymitch appeared at my doorstep after lunch. He looked haggard and scared. "Have you two seen Katniss?" he asked.

"I haven't seen her since yesterday morning," I returned. I was still angry with myself for assuming something that I had no right to. My ego and pride were bruised. Feelings I'm familiar with when it came to Katniss.

"Sae came by this morning when Katniss didn't turn up for breakfast. It doesn't look like she came home last night since she also made dinner for her. Her bed is the same as she left it," he added. "I've looked in town and the edge of the woods. I don't know where else to look."

I felt guilty and ashamed for my thoughts yesterday. Delly was right that I couldn't take Katniss' behavior personally since Prim's birthday is tomorrow. And with the threat looming over me, Katniss was an easy target. I wouldn't forgive myself if anything had happened to her. Different scenarios raced through my mind and then I remembered the dream I had of Prim.

"Delly stay here just in case Katniss turns up," I instructed her. "I may know where she is, Haymitch. Take me to the woods Katniss usually visits." He led me to the area. I walked further in to the woods looking for the tallest tree in the vicinity. Half an hour later, we arrived at the location where I dreamt the night before. It wasn't the same tree but its width and height matched. The trunk was wide as I suspected and the roots just as high.

"Look around, Haymitch. She's got to be here." We went in opposite directions. I was scared, anxious and in pain since my leg ached from the walk. My anxiety disappeared as soon as I turned to see Katniss huddled against the wide tree trunk. She was damp from head to toe wearing a long sleeve shirt and light pants. They were the same clothes she wore the night we spent together. She was in a fetal position quivering. She had a fixed looked in her eyes as if she was in a trance. I realized that she was catatonic. Sighing from relief, I grazed the back of my hand to her cold cheek. She didn't respond to my touch. My heart tugged at my chest. Without any hesitation I lifted her in my arms and carried her away from the woods with Haymitch trailing behind me.

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**Katniss POV – **

I woke up to a warm and comfortable bed as I heard Sae knocking on my door. After a few minutes, she stopped and walked away. Clutching a pillow to my chest, I lingered in my bed not remembering how I got there. My clock chimed displaying date and time as I realized that Prim's birthday was yesterday. I tried to recollect the past few days when I concluded that I slept the day away. I fought tears that gathered in my eyes as I remembered what had happened since I awoke with Peeta lying in my bed. I recounted the joy I felt but was soon replaced with panic as I realized what I had done. My nightmare caused me to reach out to Peeta for comfort, asking him to stay with me. He looked peaceful beside me that I didn't have the heart to wake him so I snuck out of my bed. The next thing I knew I was in the middle of the woods. Standing in front of my favorite tree where I played as a child. I had not meant to stay as long as I did. I needed the peace and silence the woods provided me. Hours past as memories flooded and paralyzed me; day became night. I dreamt that Peeta came for me. Saving me. As I lay in bed I wondered if my dream were real. Did Peeta find me in the woods and carried me home?

I don't know how much time had passed when my bedroom door open to find Haymitch peering inside. I was about to tell him to leave me the fuck alone when I hear a tiny voice cut the air.

"Katniss, it's time to get up and have breakfast," Tamryn announced. She looked scared as she stood by the door. She reminded me of Prim for a second. "Grandma is making your favorite and said it's getting cold."

"Give me a few minutes, Pri….Tamryn. I need to freshen up before joining you," I said as my voice cracked and gave Haymitch the meanest look I could muster.

"Don't keep us waiting Katniss," he smirked. "We'll be waiting downstairs."

"We?" I asked. Haymitch gave me a confused look. _'Please don't tell me Peeta is there,' _my mind reeled. I was too embarrassed to face him after the night we shared. As innocent as it was, I don't know how Peeta reacted to my disappearance after sharing a night with him.

"Just you, me, Sae and the kid, Katniss," he answered. I sighed in relief. I needed a few hours to consider my actions before confronting Peeta. I took the quickest shower of my life and changed into a clean pair of pants and button down shirt. I don't remember wearing or changing into the nightshirt and long pants I am currently wearing. They were not the same pair the night I slept in Peeta's arms.

During breakfast I didn't have much of an appetite but ate the best I could. Tamryn chatted beside me. The little girl's appearance affected more than I thought since her bubbly personality reminded me of Prim. I tried to hide the tears as she gave me a tight hug and a wave goodbye at my front door. My eyes tried not to drift towards Peeta's home hoping to not catch him. When I went back inside, Haymitch planted himself on my sofa. He was balancing a bottle of liquor from one hand to the other.

"I didn't tell you why I stopped drinking, did I? Or at least try not to be drop dead drunk every single moment of my existence," he started. "When Peeta finished obsessing over his home during the first two weeks of his arrival, he came over and started to clean mine. From corner to corner, inch-by-inch, he cleaned and scrubbed my home going from room to the next. I didn't stop him but let him be."

He looked at the bottle for second, but then continued. "He didn't talk much and when he did, he said very little. It was a comfort to have him in my home, but painful to watch as he exhausted himself. He had one room left to clean. I was downing a bottle of liquor when he asked about the master bedroom. Suddenly my monitor goes on, it's Gale on the screen in his shiny new uniform containing rioters in District 6. The sound of his voice shook Peeta into an episode of anger and despair. But what really broke him was an image of you in your Mockingjay outfit. The image of you and him one after the other was more than he could handle. His eyes went feral, I was afraid that he would bite off his tongue off as he struggled not to scream. He fought whatever demon inside him as he threw furniture, books, whatever he could find. He scared me, Katniss."

He paused for moment as he placed the bottle on the table and leaned back on the sofa. "He finally realized I was present when he went after me with the broken liquor bottle I just finished." I gasped in shock. "He was already tired and weak from throwing every article he could get his hands on that I only had to hit him once. He was down on my floor bleeding. I was so absorbed in my self-pity of not being able to protect him. I should have been sober to watch him; to take care of him, he was in my home."

I sat beside him to comfort him as I wrapped an arm around him. "I was so drunk I thought I killed him, Katniss. There I was stinking drunk with Peeta lying on the ground, unconscious and bleeding from landing on broken shards of glass. It was first time in years that I broke down and cried. I failed him, again. I wasn't sober enough to protect him even from himself. From that day on, I swore that I would be a better person for Peeta."

"So what happened after he woke up?" I asked.

Haymitch eyed me with sadness and shame in his eyes, "He just stood up with blood covering his arms, legs and cheek. He blinked once or twice and looked around him. And you know what he did? He walked over to my kitchen, picked a broom and dustbin and started cleaning the mess he made."

"He didn't say anything to you?" I questioned.

"He apologized for making a mess. We never said a single word about that day," he admitted. "Since then, I've been weaning myself from my 20 year habit of disappearing into my own world. It's been difficult and painful. But I would do anything I can to ensure Peeta's survival. I failed you as I have failed him and broken his trust. I will never be worthy of his devotion and friendship. It's something I know I have to earn back." His hands trembled as he spoke. "I know that the last few days have been difficult for you. Just don't give up, Katniss. You've made great strides in moving forward; you have a lot to look forward to. You need to concentrate on that."

I looked at Haymitch. There are new wrinkles around his eyes and mouth. I thought about Peeta, Johanna and I, how we survived Snow and the Capitol. We lived through a rebellion with Coin; another would be Snow had she lived. I don't regret the decision I made that fateful day. When we returned home, I didn't realize what role Haymitch took upon himself. He was now protector and father figure for all of us. Especially Peeta who had no one left. I was accustomed to my mother's abandonment since the age of 11. Prim's death only widened the chasm between us. Haymitch became not only my mentor but also parental unit by de facto. I am very lucky to have him in my life.

"Katniss, you know that without using words and getting too emotional…" he confessed as for the first time I have ever known him, to stumble with his words, "you know what you mean to me. What you and Peeta as well as Delly and Johanna have become in my life. Before I ever met you lot, I was content to swim in my own guilt by drowning myself with liquor. I had no one." I nodded my head in understanding. "Please don't become me by emotionally drowning into yourself. We are all here for you, please remember that."

"I know that, Haymitch," I said. "I know how lucky I am to have everyone in my life. I just wish…" I held back the sob that was lodged in my throat.

"You miss her," he said. "She's never really gone unless you let her. She will always be with you, Katniss. For as long as you are alive, she will never be forgotten."

"Thank you, Haymitch," I said in gratitude.

"Just one more thing, I know that words don't come to you easily," he said. "You're actions often speak louder than any words you convey. You know what I'm talking about. The other boy, the one that was your friend and companion, you really, really need to set things straight with him. You know where you heart lies, you've always known. Don't end up like me alone, lonely and without love. You have that, you always had. Just reach out to him and be with him. In the arena I told you to survive. This time, Katniss, fight for him like he had always fought for you." I nodded in acceptance of what my heart already knew.

"Did he find me," I asked. He knew what I was asking.

"He'll always find you," Haymitch confirmed.

I faced each day with the same ache and longing for the sister I had lost. The mornings found me struggling to get out of bed with a heavy heart. I had not seem Peeta since that day, not that I blame him. I did in fact abandon him in my own bed. I pondered at the words Haymitch told me days before. I knew he was right. I just needed to get the courage to act on it. So I was surprised one evening as they all showed up on my doorstep. Haymitch, Delly, and Peeta entered my home without an invitation and set up dinner. I noticed that Peeta held a large box in his hand. I was too shocked to ask what the box contained as he walked straight into the kitchen. We all sat down for dinner. Peeta was seated at the far end of the table away from me. He neither spoke nor looked in my direction. He was polite and civil as I realized that whatever progress I made with Peeta was gone. We were back to square one like the first day he arrived.

With a heavy heart, I added my transgression to the list of mistakes I kept making with him. Why does his presence always left me flummoxed, tongue-tied and acting like some schoolgirl crushing on the cutest boy in school? I led a rebellion and killed people during a war. I am Katniss Everdeen, the Mockingjay. I was so engrossed with my despair that I didn't notice him leaving the table. He came back with a two-layer cake decorated with primroses. It was the most beautiful cake I've ever seen. Prim would have loved it. Tears dripped from my eyes. Peeta looked back with a small shy smile. "It's for Prim, I hope that it's okay that I…"

"Thank you," I sobbed. Haymitch stood and took me in his arms. Delly followed after him. I turned to Peeta last and launched myself at him. I didn't care that he stood in shock and in surprised at my gesture. He placed his arms around me as if I was glass. His embrace was gentle and comforting. I held on tight as I wept on his shoulders. He was still thin but solid. I wanted to hold onto him forever.

A minute or two later, I don't' know how long we held each other; someone cleared their throat. "Let's cut the cake," Delly interrupted as she took a long knife and handed it to me. I looked back at Peeta who had a sheepish look on his face. Delly was looking into his band for any signs of distress or anxiety.

"You did a great job, kid," Haymitch commented as he nudge Peeta by the elbow. He blushed further as Haymitch smirked at him.

I was happy to see that the knife in my hand didn't bother or alarm him in any way. I turned back to the cake in front of me. I didn't have to ask where or who made the cake. It was Peeta all over it. The pink script written, _'Happy Birthday Prim'_ and primroses gave it away. I grabbed Peeta's hand with my free hand and clutched it to my side. He was startled but kept still as I held on to him.

All night I didn't let go of him, I sat beside him as Delly served the rest of the cake. I held onto his hand when we had coffee. Not once did I turn to him or look at his direction, but held on to his hand. Delly smirked at me when I laid my head on Peeta's shoulder. I was so comfy and relaxed that I didn't notice that I kept yawning every five minutes.

"Hey, guys, I think it's time we all head out," Peeta announced. He prodded me a little, "This one can't keep from yawning all night. I think it's time for bed." I wished everyone goodnight and walked them out the door. I hugged Peeta last, my embrace longer than the others.

"Can you stay for a while," I whispered as I held on to him. He nodded as he let me go.

"Delly, I'm going to stay for a while. Why don't you head back to your place? I don't want you in my house alone," he said. Delly winked at me as I tried not to blush as I walked her to my door. I walked back to the kitchen to find Peeta putting the cake away in my icebox.

"Peeta, come here," I instructed as I extended my hand to him. My voice was firm but my legs shook. I led him back to the living room and made him sit beside me. "Thank you for the beautiful cake." I told him as I laid my head on his shoulder. For as second, he stiffened then placed an arm around my shoulder. I took a deep breath and relaxed against him.

"Why don't you head upstairs and get some sleep?" he asked in a quiet tone that calmed and soothed me.

"I needed to…I can't sleep and when I do I dream of Prim and…" I struggled with my words. I clutched onto his slim waist feeling the tone stomach muscles. I had visions of my hand running up and down his chest and stomach. The familiar ache returned between my legs. I shivered at the sensation and his close proximity.

"Hey, it's okay. We can stay here if you want," he said. He looked conflicted and uneasy. He was weary of my intention. Then, I remembered Haymitch's words, _'Fight for him like he had always fought for you.'_ "Sleep with me." The words blurted out of my mouth before my mind registered what I had said.

"What?" Peeta gasped in shock. "Katniss, I don't think that's…" He cheeks turned a deep red. He was adorable as his ears turned pink.

"What I meant is, stay with me in my bed," I said and hoped that my cheeks didn't turn the same shade. My neck felt warm and my hands sweaty. "I don't want to be alone and you're the only one that I trust." My voice shook. "I sleep better when you're with me, don't you?" I looked at him for a response. He nodded his head.

"Why don't you get ready for bed while I secure the house for the evening," Peeta said as he looked anywhere but at me.

I shook my head, "I don't want you to leave and if I go upstairs by myself I'm afraid that you'll leave," I admitted. "Please come with me." I took his hand and led him upstairs to my bedroom. "I'll be just a minute." I turned and left the room.

I went straight to my bathroom, washed my face and brushed my teeth as fast as I could. I didn't want to give him an opportunity to change his mind. I returned back to the room to find him staring out of my window. "It's your turn. There's a spare toothbrush on the counter and a fresh towel," I said as I sat on the edge of my bed. He walked into the bathroom.

A few minutes later, I looked up to find him staring at me. "Peeta, are you okay?" I asked. I watched him swallow a couple of times but no words were spoken. I got up and headed to the right side of the bed. I turned the covers over and crawled in. Peeta took a step forward. He sat on the bed and took off his shoes while leaving his socks on. I was disappointed when he took off his shirt to find him wearing a white undershirt. He kept his pants on but removed his belt. I didn't say a word when he crawled into the bed beside me and looked up at the ceiling.

There was a space between our bodies that felt like a mile separating us. I grabbed his hand as I turned to face him. His eyes were opened but looked vacant. I couldn't hold back the tears as they ran down my cheeks. He was here beside me but so far away. I didn't know how to reach him.

"Katniss?" Peeta said in a soft tone. "Shh, it's okay. I'm here." I sobbed when he turned and wrapped his arms around me as I placed my head on his chest. I cried for few minutes as he spoke comforting words to me. He mistook my anguish for my longing for Prim.

"Prim will never know pain or hurt ever again. She was loved and will always be loved," Peeta said. "She loved you more than anything and anyone. Her love will never die, Katniss. You moving forward would be the greatest gift you can give her on her birthday. She would want that for you." Peeta's voice was soft and calming. I felt my body relax and my mind at ease.

Safe. That is what I always felt whenever Peeta held me in his arms. I wanted to hold onto this feeling, his arms around me as the world slipped away from us. To feel safe and loved by him. I want a chance to love Peeta like he deserved to be loved. Johanna was right, I loved him because he was easy to love but to give him my heart, it was the one thing I never had the courage to do. This was my new arena and the monsters I had to fight were his distrust and weary heart. This was what I am fighting for. As I closed my eyes I had visions of a blond haired little boy running around my feet with gray eyes staring back at me.

The next morning I woke up to reach for Peeta. What I felt was an empty space beside me. Peeta has left me like I had abandoned him days before. The pain and rejection that seared my chest was deep. I fought the tears that tracked down my eyes. The bed felt cold indicating that he had left hours ago. I took a deep breath and gasped in shock. Around me was a fragrance I haven't smelled in years. The aroma of fresh bread hovered the early morning air. My Boy with the Bread had finally come home; Peeta was once again baking bread.

* * *

_**Thanks for those who reviewed and favored my story. As always they are greatly appreciated.**_


	11. Chapter 11 - Standing Still

Chapter 11 – Standing Still

_**AN: This is dedicated to my muse. I am forever grateful.**_

**Katniss POV – **

My senses are filled with the aroma of cheese buns. I tightened my arms around Peeta as I held on to him in front of my door. He was on his way back to his home after dropping off my favorite cheese buns. I caught him as he placed the basket on my porch. I ripped my door open and grabbed him. He had a look of shock on his face as I wrapped my arms around him. He returned my hug a second later. I wanted to kiss him but thought better of it.

"It's really early and I didn't want to disturb you," he explained his early morning delivery. The sun was peeking through the horizon. "I couldn't sleep so I thought I make a batch."

"Thank you, Peeta," I said. "And not just for the bread." My voice was muffled as I laid my head on his chest. His heart was beating so fast. I wondered if he felt mine beating hard as well.

The last few days have been the most peaceful I have ever felt in my entire life. He had been baking 'my cheese buns' since the first day he started baking. I giggled as I realized that the smell lingered on Peeta's shirt and skin. I remembered that morning waking up to an empty bed feeling the loss and rejection of Peeta leaving my side. I hated myself for knowing that was what he felt when I left him the first night we spent together. The pain was deep and it wounded me to my soul. I hurt him again without the intent to injure him but I left him just the same. I would have been angry and resentful had Peeta done that to me. But kind and gentle Peeta didn't leave me, not the way I left him and abandoned him without a word or explanation for my disappearance. I thought back with great fondness of the first morning he had started to bake again.

* * *

_**Flashback – a few days ago**_

_I got off my bed without a thought of my appearance and ran down the stairs with gleeful anticipation of seeing Peeta in my kitchen with bread on my table. All sorts of scenarios ran through my mind as I would run up to him, hug him close and kiss him. Thanking him for staying with me and not leaving me alone. I was surprised and disappointed to find everyone, and I mean everyone from Delly, Haymitch, Johanna, Sae and Tamryn preparing breakfast as Peeta cooked eggs in the kitchen. Delly was making coffee, while Sae sat with Tamryn as Haymitch placed plates and cups on the table. Peeta had changed clothes from last night as I noticed flour dust on his arms, shirt and sleeves. It was a sight I will never forget. My Boy with the Bread woke up early to bake. My Peeta was on the slow journey to returning to me. _

_My trance was interrupted by Johanna's loud and boisterous voice._

"_Well, it's about time you woke up. Everyone had been waiting for you to get up and join us for breakfast," she announced as she led me by the arm. I sat down and looked back at the kitchen hoping for Peeta to join us. Delly waved a hand in front of my face._

"_Katniss? How are you feeling this morning?" Delly asked. "Did you get enough sleep?" She winked at me and snuck a look at Peeta as he walked into the dining room with a large platter of scrambled eggs._

"_I feel fine, Delly. I had the best sleep of my life," I answered as I blushed at Delly's implication._

"_I bet you did." Johanna added as she turned to her roommate. "So Peeta the next time you have a sleep over at Katniss' place, please let me know so I won't have a freak out that someone might have abducted you. I nearly had a heart attack when I saw your empty bed last night."_

"_Hey, we didn't know you were coming back so soon," Delly said. "You've been gone a few days. You should have at least told us when you were coming home." She stood in front of Johanna with coffee pot still in hand. It was a strange sight watching Delly reprimanding her. She just smirked back at the petite blond ignoring her._

"_Had I known that Peeta was in great hands, I wouldn't have rushed back," Johanna teased. "So how long have you two been slee…"_

"_That's enough, Johanna," Haymitch interrupted as he eyed Peeta who was quiet throughout the whole exchange. Peeta stared at the platter of eggs in front of him as he sat across me. I noticed his pink cheeks and ears; a blush tinged his fair skin. Peeta who was in need of a haircut with his long curly locks, rosy cheeks and glazed eyes was blushing. He looked up for a second and looked back down as I caught his eyes._

"_So Katniss, do you want coffee or tea this morning?" someone asked me._

"_Huh?" I said as I turned to the voice speaking to me. It was Delly at my side with a big smile planted on her face. "I'm sorry Delly, what did you say?"_

"_Katniss, you can stare at Peeta after breakfast. Do you want coffee or tea this morning?" she asked again in a slow teasing manner._

"_Tea, please," I croaked from embarrassment. I looked up to see everyone except Peeta smiling back at me. The atmosphere around us was light and easy. It was a good morning._

"_Peeta, can I please have a cheese bun by myself?" Tamryn asked. She was seated next to him as the famous bread was being passed along the table. Her eyes were big as saucers._

"_I don't know, Tamryn," Peeta spoke to her with a smile on his face. "Are you sure you can handle a whole one by yourself?" He turned to Sae who nodded her head for approval._

_Peeta placed a bun on her plate. She took a big bite on the cheesy bread. "Whoa, there, take a small bite and slow down," Peeta chuckled. It was wonderful to see him with Tamryn, gentle and sweet; like a father tending to his little girl. My heart skipped a beat as I watched him take the bread from Tamryn and cut manageable pieces for her._

"_This is so good, Peeta. I remember you telling me about your cheese buns," Johanna said as she too took a bite and chewed a mouth full. "Wow, you've been holding out on us." _

"_I told you they were the best," Delly chimed in as she placed one on her plate. Haymitch and Sae were both chewing away to bother with words of their enjoyment._

_I looked at Peeta who gazed back at me. I couldn't find the words to describe that moment as his eyes connected with mine. I glanced around the table as we all had breakfast together. The sense of joy and love surrounded me. It was a feeling I long to repeat with Peeta by my side. I mouthed, 'Thank you," to him. He smiled back._

* * *

**End of flashback – **

"Katniss?" a voice cut through my memory. I jumped and released my arms from Peeta. I was surprised and startled by the intrusion. "I didn't meant to disturb you…" Hazelle Hawthorne announced herself looking a bit uncomfortable of seeing me with Peeta. I grabbed his hand and felt him stiffen as Hazelle approached us.

"Hazelle," I said. "It's good to see you." I turned to Peeta who had a blank look on his face.

"I know it's been a long time, but I thought I come by to see you," she said. "Hello, Peeta. I don't know if you remembered me, I'm Hazelle Hawthorne." She walked up to us and extended her hand to him. He looked at her for a second as if he was trying to remember who she was.

"Yes, I remember you. Hello, Mrs. Hawthorne," he said in formal and well-mannered tone. He extended his hand in a short handshake. "I was just leaving. It's good to see you. I hope that you're family is well?" Underneath his cool demeanor, his hand shook a bit and his eyes were focused. He was so polite and civil; this was the Peeta I adored and admired during the games and the tour. Under pressure and stress he was charming as ever. However I can tell that her appearance jolted him knowing that he was in the presence of Gale's mother.

"We are all fine, Peeta. I thank you for asking," she said. She had a worried brow arched on her forehead as she looked at our clasped hands.

"Excuse me, Katniss, but I should get going," Peeta said as he turned to me. He bowed his head and left. My stomach dropped with the feeling of him leaving my side.

"He looks well, Katniss," Hazelle admitted as she watched him head towards his home. "He needs to gain some weight. He's so skinny." Spoken like a true mother concern for a well fare of a child.

"We know," I said and sighed. "We all have tried to get him to eat more but since coming back it's been difficult for him to stomach more than a bowl full." It was apparent whenever I would wrap my arms around him. His waist was slim and limbs scrawny. We stood there in awkward silence. "I'm sorry, Hazelle, where are my manners? Would you like to come inside?" _'I'm Effie,'_ my mind echoed. She would be so proud of me right now. I walked over to my door and entered my home. She followed after me eyeing my fancy hi-tech door.

"Please make yourself comfortable while I get us some tea," I said as I marched to my kitchen and set a kettle to my stove. I took a deep breath and walked back to my living room.

"I hope you don't mind my visit. I thought under the circumstances I would pay my respects," she said as she placed her hands on her lap. "I know that it was Prim's birthday a few days ago."

My breath hitched at the memory of her birthday. "I went to see you that day but Mr. Abernathy told me that you were not seeing visitors at the time." I nodded my head in confirmation. "I would have paid a you a call earlier, but it's been a difficult adjustment coming back to 12."

"It's all right, Hazelle," I assured her. "No need for you to worry over me. You have your own family to take care of. I've been taking of myself for a long time now. Coming back to 12 has been to difficult for everyone, I think." It was true. The first few months were a blur to me. If it wasn't for Haymitch and Sae I don't know where I would be right now.

"Besides, it was not a good time for me to receive visitors that day, Hazelle," I apologized. "I didn't want to see anyone."

"I know, Gale told me as well," she said. "He stopped by a few times, and Mr. Abernathy was adamant that you were not taking visitors. You can imagine Gale's reaction to not being able to see you." I didn't realize that Gale had paid me a visit. I didn't even know he came back to 12. I sighed in relief for Haymitch's intervention and protective instinct.

" I didn't realize that he was back," I said.

"He was worried about you. He knew that it was a difficult time for you," she told. Irritation and aggravation simmered in my belly. Who the hell was he to be concern like a lover for my wellbeing? I had already written him off out of my life after his attempt to attack Peeta weeks ago.

"I'm fine, Hazelle. Please tell Gale that I'm well and doing fine," I said in a dismissive tone. I tried to check my anger in but Hazelle had been a like a mother to me since my father's passing. She didn't deserve my wrath and impatience. She saw my anger and discomfort of mentioning her son's name.

"I don't understand, Katniss," she continued. "He should be by our side in times like this."

I glanced back at her in confusion. "In times like this?" I repeated.

"If you intend to have a relationship with him, you can't push him away, Katniss," she reprimanded me. "You need to let him take care and support you." I inwardly scoffed in seething anger and distaste as she continued with her concern. "He loves you and wants to be there for you. I know that times are confusing and Peeta needs care, but you should not be giving Peeta mixed signals in your relationship with him." She paused. "People do not understand the bond you have with him. And Gale has been very understanding and patient. But it's time that you let Peeta go. He's not your responsibility anymore."

How dare she dictate my behavior and decision to take care of Peeta. Even if I was with Gale and I'm not, she was lecturing me on how to navigate my relationship with Peeta and her son. Her damn over bloated egocentric son who didn't know how to let things go. Especially with his delusion of 'our relationship.'

I eyed her for a moment and sighed to myself. My patience was wearing thin, not only had she interrupted my time with Peeta she was telling to let him go and what to do. "What has Gale been telling you about me and him, Hazelle?" I asked as my eyes narrowed.

"Listen, Katniss," she said in a soft tone. "I'm only looking after my son's best interest. I don't meant to interfere but Peeta is no longer a concerned of yours. Gale loves you and you love him. Don't have Peeta come between you again."

"Again?" I erupted.

"He came between you and Gale after the first reaping," she explained. "Gale was patient then, but the games are over. He told me everything, how you pretended to be in love with Peeta and married him to survive. You don't have to pretend anymore. That time is over. You and Gale helped free Panem from the Capitol. It's time that you reaped the rewards by devoting yourself to your relationship. You've gone through so much together."

I laughed so hard I almost fell off the sofa. Hazelle looked at me as if I lost my mind. The tears in my eyes blurred my vision. I can hear Gale regaling his stories to his mother of how we stood together, fighting side by side against the odds. He painted us as two lovers and companions fighting for Panem.

"I don't know what your son has been telling you, but," I said as I contained my laughter, "Gale and I are not, nor have we ever been in a relationship. He has and has always been my best friend. Nothing more."

"That is not what he's been telling me," Hazelle contracted me. "And if I remember correctly that is not what I saw in District 13. Weren't you developing a relationship with him back then?"

"There wasn't anything going on between us. I was in a middle of rallying the districts and spear heading a rebellion," I said as I defended my actions. "He was there to comfort and support me, nothing more. When did you think I had time for romance or developing a relationship with Gale? We were both busy in the campaign to free the districts from Snow. If he read more than that, that's his problem. As for Peeta, my feelings and relationship with him are my own and no one else's concern."

"Gale said that what you had with Peeta wasn't real but manufactured by you and Mr. Abernathy," she said. "He said that Snow made you pretend to be in love with Peeta."

My mind spun with guilt and shame. It was true that I was forced to pretend that I loved Peeta. But it didn't cancel the fact that I was in a state of confusion for my feelings for him. I knew I felt something but I was in survival mode and the concept of love was foreign to me. Peeta understood that and never pushed for anything more than friendship.

"Now that it's over, Gale said that you're just confused and feel obligated to taking care of him," she continued. "He told me that you feel a sense of duty and guilt because of what had happened to him at the Capitol. But it's time for you to let Peeta go. For Gale's sake."

"Hazelle, you've known me most of my life," I reminded her. "When have I ever been confused or not certain of what's on my mind? Please understand this, I do not feel any obligation or sense of duty as Gale says about Peeta. I chose Peeta on my own free will. I want Peeta. I chose him. Gale has not been willing to accept my choice and my decision."

"I see, so all this time he's been lying to me," Hazelle realized. "I see now that I was wrong to assume that what Gale told me was true. I cannot believe my son would tell me a bold face lie." She sighed with a look of confusion on her face. "Telling me that you're not in love with Peeta but feel sorry for him. I should have known better to ask you for the truth. It didn't make any sense. I couldn't understand why you two kept your distance for so many months if you were both in a relationship."

"I'm sorry that you're that disappointed," I said.

"I am disappointed," she revealed. "I'm disappointed that my son has been lying to me and fabricating such an elaborate lie. I should have confronted him when I saw the video of you to fighting at the train station."

I had forgotten about that. My reunion with Gale all those months ago left me angry and resentful. Who knew where I would be with Peeta had he not shown up that fateful day.

"I didn't mean for that to happen," I said. "He just showed up suddenly and…"

"No need to explain, Katniss. I believe that I have to have a long conversation with my son," she said. "And I owe you an apology."

"No you don't," I admitted. "Gale should be the one apologizing to the both of us for his lies and deception." Hazelle nodded in agreement.

"So you are in love with Peeta?" she asked. Her question took me by surprise. Other than Haymitch, Delly and Johanna, they were the only ones who knew the truth of my feelings for Peeta.

I couldn't reveal to Hazelle of what I had not been able to admit to Peeta first. "What I feel for him is my business. But what I can tell you is that Gale and I are not in a relationship. Nor did we have one while we were in District 13. I know that my behavior contradicts that. But I was lonely and scared. I was scared about everything. I sought comfort with Gale. I…used him. _'As I have used Peeta during the games._' I held my breath. "As for Gale, after what he's done, I cannot and will not be able to forgive him. Even if he does accept my feelings for Peeta, we are no longer friends."

"I don't understand, Katniss," Hazelle said in surprise. "What has he done to tear your friendship apart? What is so horrible to destroy years of companionship and friendship?"

"You have to ask him," I said trying to suppress the tears that formed in my eyes. "Ask him what's his involvement in regards to Prim's death."

Hazelle gasped, "What do you mean Prim's death?"

"Just ask him to tell you the truth," I said. The pain of losing Prim was still fresh in my mind and my heart. "I'm sorry but I don't want to talk about it anymore. Thank you for remembering Prim's birthday, but I am fine. I have family and friends who support and comfort me."

"He's been your family too, Katniss," she said. "Don't give up on what you had with him. All he's ever wanted was you."

I cringed. Throughout my time with Gale, he had never attempted or expressed his true feelings for me. By the time he did, I was too conflicted and resented the emotion placed upon me. Both Gale and Peeta declared their feelings for me at the wrong time and place. I had not been receptive to either of them.

"I never wanted or sought that kind of relationship with anyone, Hazelle," I explained. "Love, marriage and children were something I never intended to have with anyone, even with Peeta and especially with Gale. He was my friend. I didn't think of him that way."

"I think Gale knew that," Hazelle said. "But he always thought that maybe, with time and patience he could have made you change your mind. I mean, how long did you think you could have survived without a husband to care for you? He loved you and wanted to take care of you."

Why does society assume that without a husband a woman couldn't survive? It was this archaic social obligation and way of life that forced women to marry or do anything to survive. Even to marry without love in a relationship. I did love Gale but not in the same way my mother loved my father. I saw what love did to my mother and to me and Prim.

"I loved your son like a brother," I said. "I have told Gale time and again. If I lost him as my friend and brother because he's too stubborn to accept my choice, then so be it. I have a new family now."

"I'd like to think that I am family too, Katniss," Hazelle said. "I know that you're mother isn't here. Please don't think that losing her didn't crush her too."

My mother was another sore subject in my life. To be abandoned emotionally was bad enough, but to be abandoned yet again to live on my own was another matter. It was hard to see her point of view. What kind of mother abandoned her children when they had needed them the most? It was unforgiveable and despicable.

"Have you seen or spoken to her since your arrival at 12?" she asked. I shook my head. My throat tightened as I tried to speak without breaking down.

"Nor do I expect her to," I answered. "She has pretty much written me off of her life living at District 4."

"Katniss, please give her a chance…" she pleaded.

"A chance to do what exactly?" I interjected. "No, this subject is over and nothing you say or do will make me want to continue this conversation." I wrapped my arms around my waist. I felt lost and angry. My day had started well when Peeta appeared on my doorstep. I had hoped to spend the day with him. It was ruined with the appearance of Gale's mother on my doorstep, playing matchmaker for her son.

"I'm sorry, Katniss. Please forgive me for interfering and my misunderstanding of your relationship with Gale," she added. "Just please know that I am here for you. Your friendship with Gale may be over, but I am still your friend."

"Thank you, I would like that," I admitted since she was the only mother figure in my life. The thought stung as I thought about my own mother living in District 4.

"As for Peeta, I'm happy that he's the one that helped you find love," Hazelle said. "Since the games, I knew that he loved you sincerely and wholeheartedly. He was so smitten. Everyone can see it. I think even Gale did too. You're lucky to have each other after everything you both have been through." I hugged her in thanks for her understanding even if it meant breaking her son's heart.

"I'm sorry Hazelle," I said. "I don't know what Gale thought he could accomplish by lying to you about our relationship. It was never my intention to lead him on."

"Gale has never been the same since you were reaped," she said. "I don't think he realized how much you've changed. How much we all have changed."

I shook my head in agreement. You couldn't help but be altered after surviving the games. It changed you in ways you couldn't anticipate. You saw people and the world in a different manner. Peeta and all the victors understood that. Gale couldn't. He couldn't admit that I changed too. He wanted the old Katniss before the reaping. That is whom he fell in love with and he couldn't love and accept who I am now.

"And Katniss," Hazelle eyed me with a smile on her face. "You can't help who you fall in love with. You of all people should know that." I thought of my seam father who fell for a merchant girl and married her against all odds.

With a promise to keep in touch regardless of my relationship with Gale, we parted in good spirits even though our relationships were changed between us.

That night after dinner, I knew what I had to do. My talk with Hazelle sparked a fire within me. There were no more class divisions, no more games and no one to come between us. We had only spent that one night together. I wanted more but was afraid to ask. With a confident stride on my step, I walked over to Peeta's house and knocked on his door. He opened it with a surprised and shocked look in his face. I didn't even see Johanna behind me. Her presence didn't register until I took his hand and led him upstairs. I tried not to blush so hard as Johanna stared after us. Her face held a wide and toothy smile as she nodded in approval. I was being clear and direct with my intentions. What I couldn't say with words, I hope was understood by my actions. Without a word, we prepared ourselves for the night and slipped into bed together. I reached over to Peeta and placed my head on his chest. I held on to him all night.

The next morning I found myself alone in Peeta's bed. As I expected he was downstairs baking bread. The aroma saturated the air. Thom was right; it was the smell that will always remind me of home and most of all, Peeta. I walked down to find him concentrating on kneading bread in his kitchen.

"Peeta," I said. "I'm going back to my house for breakfast. Why don't you and Johanna join me when you're done baking?"

"Okay, we'll be there in 20 minutes. I'll see if my roommate is up and about." he said as he pulled a sheet of buns out of his oven.

After breakfast with lightness I had not felt in a long time, I dared to visit the one place I avoided since returning to 12. My meadow; the sanctuary from the seam and the rest of Panem. My haven; the one place that belonged only to my father and me. Though I had shared this with Gale, I had never brought him with me. It was a sacred place.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. The air drifted through my nose with a scent of wildflowers, leaves and earth. I felt reawaken, a rebirth and healing of my scarred heart and soul. I will always miss Prim. Nothing and no one can replace the love I had for my dear little sister. I felt her presence with me as if she placed a hand on my shoulder. Peeta and Haymitch were right. For as longed I as love and remember her, she will never be forgotten. She will always be with me in spirit. My peace and tranquility was disrupted by a voice I had not wanted to hear for a long time.

"Catnip?" Gale said. There he stood all in black, shoulders straight with his arms on his sides. He looked grim as his eyes focused on me, his mouth in a straight line. There was a glint in his eyes that frightened me that I raised my bow at him. "I've been wanting to talk to you for days."

"Well, you found me," I said as I dropped my bow lower but not placed it aside. "It hasn't been a good time for me, Gale. You should know that."

"I would have been there for you," he announced. "I should have been with you when you needed me."

I blinked a couple of times. Did he honestly think that I wanted the one person who caused my sister's death to comfort me on her birthday? _'He's delusional,_' the thought popped in my mind.

"You were the last person I needed or wanted to see, Gale," I said as I checked my anger in. My grip on my bow and arrowed tighten.

"How many times do I have to tell you that it wasn't my fault," he seethed. He brought out his anger instead of understanding. If he wanted to comfort me, anger was the least of the emotion he the right to have. "You won't even see my side or point of view."

My mind spun realizing that I was going in circles with my attempt to be patient with Gale. He wanted me and he couldn't stand the idea of my rejection of his love and affection. But what probably stung more or bruised his ego was my desire and choice to be with Peeta. Then I remembered the conversation I had with Johanna months ago. I drew my bow down to my side and held the arrow in my right hand.

"I love you, I had loved you all my life," he proclaimed. "I should have told you from the start. I may have not loved you since I was five, but I loved you just as fiercely and maybe even more so. I know you, Katniss like I know the back of my hand. He…will never understand what we've been through, what we had. We loved each other before he came along." I knew he was drawing comparisons to Peeta's devotion and love for me. "We belong together. We were a team and we can be again if just let yourself."

I was never his to begin with. I never belonged to anyone. He was right; I didn't let myself be with anyone. But that had already changed without my knowing or acknowledging it. It or HE crept up on me like a sun on the horizon.

I knew what I had to do both Johanna and Haymitch predicted it. "I love you Gale," I said with a clear and strong voice. He smiled so wide as if something in him burst. "But I'm in love with Peeta. I love you like a brother who protected and supported me through the worst times in my life. But I don't love you like I love him." The words flowed with such ease that something in me lifted. I felt guilty since my first declaration of love for Peeta wasn't him. I announced it to Gale instead. "I desire him, I want him with a passion I never knew that existed in me." His happy face dropped and anger replaced it. "He is and has been all I ever wanted or desired. I love Peeta Mellark not you Gale. Do you understand and hear me clearly. I don't want to be with you that way, I don't feel for you like the way I feel for Peeta."

"You never gave me the chance to be with you," he spat in anger. "You could have felt the same way with me if given the chance."

"It wouldn't have happened because I was with you everyday, and that thought never crossed my mind," I explained. "We would have never worked. We have so much anger, resentment and bitterness between us, it would have destroyed us. You wanted things I could never give you."

"You can't say that," he responded. "Ever since the reaping you changed, you're not the same Katniss I knew and loved." He was right. I came back different; I was disillusioned, frightened and resentful of the things that had happened to me. I resented Peeta for most of it. Peeta brought out things and feelings I never contemplated before. "Even now with your new friends, they changed you. Before the first game, you would have never been friends with Delly Cartwright and her Capitol boyfriend. She's stupid and vapid to be considered as a friend when we were in school. Johanna would have pissed you off. Haymitch, a drunk and useless old man is part of your new family. And bread boy," his voice dripped with disgust. "He amongst all of them changed you."

"I am different. The games changed me. The war turned my life up side down," I yelled. "And you killed my sister." My voice grew hoarse as I looked at him. "How much more do you need to understand that I wasn't in love with you even before Prim's death? I needed your support and comfort as a friend."

"Because you never gave me the chance. I have never loved anyone but you," he said as he took a step forward and grabbed me by the arms. "Let me show you." He dipped his head and kissed me hard. I was shocked by his bold move even now. I squirmed from his grip. I was certain that I would have bruises on my forearms. He tried to force my lips open with his tongue that I turned my head.

"Stop Gale, you're hurting me," I gasped.

"And you're hurting me with your denial of what we are to each other. You love me not him," he pleaded. His grip lessened. It was enough for me to raise my right hand and swing the arrow across his face. The tip grazed his face that he reacted in pain and shock. He released me and placed a hand on his bloody cheek. This was the third time that I have struck him, what more does he need to get a clue?

I stepped back and drew my bow and arrow. "Don't ever touch me again," I erupted in anger and humiliation. "Just step away from me. What must I do to convince you that I don't want you?"

"Shoot me, kill me because that will be the only thing that will stop me from wanting you," he gasped as he took a step towards me. He placed a hand on his taser.

"Don't!" I threatened him as I pointed an arrow to his hand. "What do you think you're going to do? Taser me? Walk away Gale. This is over. We're over."

"Catnip?" he pleaded.

"My name is Katniss. Catnip doesn't exist anymore," I said. "Just like he boy I used to know, the boy I hunted with. Just leave before you destroy any fond memory I had of him." Gale looked at me with anger and shame in his eyes.

"I love you, Katniss," he exclaimed. "I'm sorry you can't see how good we are together. He will never make you happy."

"He already has," I corrected him. "Please just turn around and walk away. What happened here between us, I want to forget." I drew my bow at him. He turned. "And Gale, one more thing, don't you ever touch Peeta in any way. If anything happens to him because of you, I will come after you." It wasn't a threat; it was a promise. I lost Prim because of him and there is hell to pay if anything happened to Peeta. He shot me an angry look and walked away.

I ran home as fast as I could. My heart was beating so fast and hard that I thought it was going to burst. The encounter with Gale left me scared and angry. He became someone I didn't recognize and the unfamiliar scared me. He frightened me. And when I'm scared I get angry, I'm angry at Gale for our confrontation and I'm angry at Hazelle for disrupting my plans. I leaned against my door thankful for the safety my home provided. I would have sought comfort from Peeta but didn't want to taint my time with him of lingering thoughts of Gale and our encounter. I stayed indoors and reflected on the visit that I had with the Hawthornes. They were people who I once felt safety and comfort. That feeling was now a distant memory. I am saddened at the realization of how much I had lost after the rebellion.

For dinner I ate the rest of the soup I made the night before with some cheese buns. Peeta made sure that I never was out of his bread. As I finished washing the dishes, I heard a scream coming out of Peeta's house. It was a female scream and I realized that it's Johanna. I ran out my door with bow on hand. Haymitch, Delly, Bron and I reached his door. As we all rushed in it was a sight I have never thought I would ever see. A tearful Peeta held on to a crying and sobbing Johanna. Her nails were digging into his back as I watched Peeta winced in pain. He saw all of us enter his home.

He extended a hand in gesture to stop us from entering further into the room. "Please just stop, all of you. Stand back," he instructured as he placed his hand over Johanna's back in a calm and soothing gesture. Delly pulled Haymitch and me back.

"Peeta, are you guys okay?" Haymitch asked. He had a wicked polearm in his hand. The tip held a long and narrow point like an end of an arrow. Bron had his taser in his right hand. It was odd seeing him in long dark brown pants with a cream colored T-shirt. He was unrecognizable without his uniform.

"Hey, it's okay, Johanna. I'm here like I said I would be. They're not coming to hurt us. See it's just Haymitch, Katniss and Delly. See? And you remember Bron. He's our friend." He talked in soft and calm tone, whispering to her. "We're okay, Jo. You, me, and Annie are all right. We're home with people who love us and take care of us." He looked up at Delly and gestured to her. "Delly, you remember her right? She's been taking care of us for some time now. Telling us her really bad jokes and stories."

She walked past us and knelt down to hug them both. "What happened Peeta?" she asked as Johanna continued to cry. "Shh, Jo, it's me Delly, remember me?" Johanna whimpered and sobbed into Peeta's shirt.

"I'm sorry, Jo. It's my fault," Peeta said as tears tracked down his face. "The washing machine wasn't working so I was soaking my shirts in my tub." He held her close to him as he winced from her Johanna's tight grip.

I didn't understand what he meant. "She was triggered by the water in the tub," he explained. Then, I knew. Haymitch once explained that Johanna was tortured by submerging her head in water via drowning her or placing a cloth over her face as her abusers poured water over her nose and mouth. "I'm sorry, Johanna. I'm sorry," he repeated as he comforted her. "It's my fault."

"I thought…" Johanna hiccupped, "I thought it was you in the...water." Peeta closed his eyes for a second. "I thought he…got you and I was too late to save you. And I froze. I felt helpless."

"I'm okay, see. It's me," he said. "I didn't mean to scare you."

Johanna pulled back and smacked him on his chest. "You're a jerk for scaring me like that," she cried then grabbed him to her. "I really thought you were in the tub and that asshole drowned you. I hate you. "

"I hate you too, Jo," Peeta smiled and took a deep breath. "You promised me one day that you're going to teach me how to swim like Finnick taught you." She laughed back and ruffled Peeta's hair. They eyed each other as if they held a silent conversation between them. A moment later, she turned her head and noticed us hovering around them.

"And what are you guys staring at? Can you see that Peeta and I were having a moment?" Johanna bellowed at us. Her voice was shaky but it was Johanna returning to us. All bark and no bite. She was embarrassed for catching her in a weak moment. After all this time, she had never revealed her soft side. I remembered the day I saw her after their rescue. She was emaciated, bald, angry and defiant. She was a hardened victor when we first met but after the Capitol, she wore her pain and experience like a protective armor. Her wall equaled Peeta's; it was formidable, tall and impenetrable.

"Well, excuse us, Johanna," Delly said as she stood and placed her hands on her hips. "Next time you or Peeta scream your lungs out, we'll just ignore you. I mean, how dare we enter your home scared our of our minds because we thought something happened to one of you."

It was silent for a moment or two until Haymitch broke the tension in the air. "So do you want us to get you a glass of water or something?" Haymitch said. Johanna's eyes narrowed as Delly gasped at his crass comment.

"That wasn't funny, Haymitch," Delly shrieked.

"What?" Haymitch responded as he shrugged his shoulders. "You're boyfriend thought it was funny." Bron was hiding a laugh behind his hand.

"You're an asshole, Haymitch," Johanna guffawed. Everyone broke into laughter. Delly knelt down to Peeta and Johanna.

"Don't mind them, they're just insensitive idiots," Delly said to Peeta and Johanna as if she was the one affronted. "Just so you know, I hate you both." Johanna continued to laugh as she was strangled by Delly's tight embrace.

I envied their camaraderie. Johanna and Peeta's friendship and bond was forged from their abuse in the Capitol. I didn't envy that. Their closeness reminded of what I had lost with Gale, his support and friendship. I looked at Peeta who eyes twinkled behind the tears. I realize that with patience and time, I pray that Peeta will feel at ease and comfortable with me as he is with Delly and Johanna. He loved me through the worse times of my life; a time when I was confused and in denial of my feelings for him. I just need to be patient with him.

"Group hug everyone," Delly giggled as she extended an arm to receive Bron who ran up to her.

"Aw, Delly," Haymitch whined. "How old are you? Five? I don't need this sentimental crap."

"Get over here, old man," Delly commanded. Haymitch harrumphed but walked behind Peeta and placed a hand on his shoulder. With Johanna in the center, I wrapped my arms around Bron and Peeta. I may have lost my mother and the Hawthornes as part of my family. My friendship and relationship with Haymitch, Delly, and Johanna with Peeta by my side is a gift I won't take for granted.

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**Peeta POV –**

The night air is cool and refreshing. It felt right having my new family around me. It was a feeling I thought I never would have again after the loss of my kin. I miss my family especially my father. He was a weak man but I loved him nonetheless. But my sense of calm and security was momentary. After our group hug Johanna wiped her teary eyes and revealed a secret she kept to herself since arriving at 12. With the difficult times ahead of us, we swore to each to other that there would be no more secrets amongst us. Johanna kept her secret long before we made that vow.

"I owe you an apology, Peeta," she announced. "I know that we said we would never keep anything from you. No more keeping secrets, but I have and I'm sorry."

"What is it, Jo," I asked. My anxiety spiked as I felt my hands shook. Delly stood beside me as Katniss placed a hand on my arm.

"For some time now, I've been getting letters," she said. I gasped in horror. "The letters…they are not about me but about you, Peet. They are more of a warning…for me to stay away from you kinda letter. You know… 'if I value my life I should stay away from you' message."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Haymitch asked.

"I didn't take it seriously at first and this happened before we knew about the stalking" Johanna explained. "I didn't think it was related."

"You should have still said something to us," Katniss reprimanded. "You shouldn't be handling that on your own."

"I'm more than capable of taking care of myself," Johanna argued. "I didn't want to add more stress for Peeta. He's got enough to worry about let alone worry about me."

I didn't know what to think. She had kept her secret all this time to protect me. Should I be angry? Or should I be scared? Anyone associated to me is in danger; I knew that but her recent revelation crystallize that reality. First Delly and now Johanna, there is a certainty that Katniss is next. I can't keep anyone safe. I couldn't keep Katniss safe in the games and Johanna in the Capitol. I looked at Delly. She had a frightened look on her face. Bron had his arm around her. I'm glad she has Bron. He will protect. But who will protect Haymitch and Katniss? Dear god, what about Greasy Sae and Tamryn? My thoughts spun in a whirlwind of anger, confusion and helplessness.

"Please don't be angry, Peet," Johanna said. "When I saw your clothes floating in the tub…I freaked. I remembered what happened in the Capitol and what they did to me."

"Of course he's not mad," Delly intervened as she stood next to Johanna. "Right, Peeta?" I couldn't answer her. I looked at the two in front of me. These two women stood by me as the rest of Panem abandoned me. I looked at Haymitch and Katniss. They too were left to their own devise. Panem was healing as our world collapsed. Everyone was benefitting from the war. Katniss liberated Panem and her reward was exile. Haymitch who had devoted himself for the rebellion was forgotten for his part to free the districts from the Capitol. I still feel that my life is not my own. After the first arena, I knew that there would never be 'a happily every after' for me. I'm tired of being hunted, chased and manipulated by forces beyond my control. Now there is more at stake.

"Peeta, please say something," Johanna said.

"I'm not angry, Jo," I said. "I'm disappointed and upset. Don't keep things from me. Just don't." I turned to hide what my eyes could not conceal. I knew she meant well but it was a sore topic for me.

"Okay, uhm…I can't stay here tonight. Do you think we can sleep outside, like go camping?" she asked. After the rebellion, Johanna and I spent a few months in the hospital together before they released her earlier than me. Whenever she had an episode, she felt claustrophobic and had screaming fits of feeling boxed in. One night, we snuck out to the rooftop at the hospital and slept under the stars. The next morning they couldn't find us, and the whole hospital went on alert and chaos ensued. When we returned to our rooms, we got a thrashing of our lives that we would never forget from Nurse Seaver. Dr. Aurelius was more understanding and permitted us to sleep there as long as we informed the staff of our intentions.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Johanna," Bron said. "The woods aren't secure. You're too out in the open. Where would you go and feel safe? Besides, it too late."

"I'm not saying that we pack up and go into the woods," Johanna explained. "I thought we could camp out in the backyard. You know, as long as we're just outside."

"That's not safe. You're not safe staying out there," Haymitch added. "Look what happened to Peeta."

"Well, I can't stay here," Johanna said as she shuddered. "I'm crawling out of my skin. Besides, I'm not going sleep. I can't sleep. I just need to be out in the open."

"If you two are going to camp outside then Bron and I are going to join you," Delly said as she looked at her boyfriend. "I've never been camping out before. Sounds fun."

"Delly, you do realize that we're going to sleep in a sleeping bag," Bron added, "and sleep on the cold hard floor?"

"Bron I'm not an idiot," Delly exclaimed in exasperation. "I know that. I've slept on the floor before. Don't treat me like some princess from the Capitol." Bron pulled Delly aside as they argued amongst themselves.

"Well, you kids have fun. You're going to do what you want to do and I know not to argue with any of you," Haymitch announced. "I'm too old to be sleeping and camping out on the ground when I have a nice soft and warm bed at home." He turned and walked out.

"I'm joining you too," Katniss said as I turned to her. Hoping to walk her home.

"Uh, Katniss. I don't think that's a good idea." I said. There was a target on Johanna's back. I didn't want Katniss to have one too. And knowing Delly she'd gladly have one painted on her to protect me. These women are going to be the death of me. "You should go back to your house."

"You can't tell me what to do, Peeta," Katniss admonished. She crossed her arms across her chest. Katniss stood in front of me, stubborn and willful as ever. "Don't you think there's safety in numbers?" I opened my mouth to argue but noticed the scowl on Katniss' face. She didn't look happy. We stared at each other. I battled with her stubbornness against my resolve. She didn't survive with everything she lived through to get hurt because of me. After a few seconds her face softened. "Besides, I haven't slept outside in years and it's a beautiful night to sleep under the stars." Wow, she changed tactics to have her own way. _'Is she flirting with me?'_ I gulped in nervous tension as my eyes widen. I've been here before and it's not going to happen.

I looked at Johanna for help. She shrugged her shoulders and made no attempt to support me. Strike one for women's solidarity. It seemed that Bron lost his argument too.

"So Bron and I are going back to the house to pick up our sleeping bags and what not," Delly announced as if she won a long arduous battle. Bron looked back at me in a sheepish manner. I foresee that life with these women will be long and eventful. That's if I survived the experience.

Knowing that I lost this battle, I relented. However, Katniss was right. We are safer in numbers, but I need to find a way to stop the threat on the three important women in my life. I hope that I will find a solution soon. There is no way that I'm letting another person in my life be taken away from me. Even if it meant killing to protect those I love.

_**AN: Happy New Years everyone. Thanks for the reviews and comments. You guys are awesome for taking the time to write them. I hope that everyone is enjoying the fic so far. Until the next update, have a great week.**_


	12. Chapter 12 - Entering into Unknown

Chapter 12 – Entering into Unknown Territory

**AN: Thanks again for the reviews and comments. All rights belong to Suzanne Collins. Until the next update, I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

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Half an hour later, Johanna and I are outside in the backyard. She placed her bag down and turned to me. "Peeta, are you sure you're okay with us staying out here?" she asked.

"Why wouldn't I be?" I said as I placed a log in the pit.

"It's not exactly a good idea for you to be out in the open when you know who is out there,' she explained.

"Oh, I forgot about that," I said as I rubbed the back of my neck. My main concern was Johanna's mental state that I had forgotten about my stalker. "What could possibly happen? You, Bron and Katniss are out here with me. You said I'm safe as long we stick together."

"True, but we are taking a big chance out here," she said. "It was selfish of me to suggest it." I shrugged my shoulders. I didn't' care at the moment. The thought of sleeping out in the open air appealed to me.

"It wasn't and I'll be fine, Johanna," I said. "I trust you to watch over me. We take care of each other, remember?"

"We all do, Peeta," she said. "Beside, Katniss would never forgive me if anything happened to you." I blushed and hope that the fire hid the tinge on cheeks. I stoked the logs in my fire pit when I heard Johanna shriek in amusement. "Delly, what the hell." I turned and found Delly carrying two fluffy pillows as Bron carried a large inflatable bed and a blanket. He had a resigned look on his face.

"What? I want to be comfortable sleeping outside," she explained as she instructed her boyfriend where to place the bed on the ground.

"You're not supposed to be comfortable," Johanna commented. "The whole point is to sleep outside in the elements with a sleeping bag, not bring your bedroom with you. What else did you bring? An electric blanket?"

"You do your camping out and I'll do mine, thank you very much," Delly snickered. "And I don't' need an electric blanket." She eyed Bron who was in the process of inflating their bed.

"Leave her alone, Johanna," I said. "Let her have her fun. Why don't you help me bring over some more wood so we won't run out for the night?" She took one look at Delly and sighed as she reached down to her sleeping bag and picked up an axe. "Jo, you don't need that. You chopped enough wood to last us for months."

"I don't feel safe without it out here," she explained as she grasped the weapon with both hands. "Who knows what's out there."

"We're not going far, Jo," I laughed. My tool shed was ten yards away from the house where the wood were stacked. When she first received the axe, she went on mad chopping spree; cutting everything in sight and throwing her axe at a distance. After months of her recovery she had gained some weight back and went through a rigorous training to get back into shape. She was an incredible sight. It reminded me of the Johanna I met during the Victory Tour. "How are you going to carry wood and your axe at the same time?" She shrugged her shoulders and placed her axe back on the ground.

Twenty minutes later, we are all set up for the night. We placed our bags along side the fire pit so that we were facing the fire. Katniss showed up with her sleeping bag ten minutes after Bron and Delly. She arranged her bag in a discreet distance next to mine. How she figured out which was my sleeping bag, I'll never know. My bet it was Delly. Katniss was sitting on her bag when I noticed that she had placed it behind me. I recognized her bow and quiver between us. I had tucked my knife in my bag as Bron placed his taser beneath his pillow.

"Katniss, you can't place your sleeping bag there," I said. "Get up." She looked stunned. I waited for her to get up. She had a hurt and embarrassed look on her face. I removed my bag and dragged hers closer to the fire then placed mine behind her. "You need to be closer to the fire." I heard her sigh in relief. Johanna smirked at me as I gave her a dirty look. Did she think I would hurt Katniss in any way? I may have resolved to not have her in my life romantically but I wouldn't hurt her in purpose. "Here, use my pillow. I'll get another one." Katniss sat back down and looked at me as if she wanted to say something.

She had a look in her eyes I've never seen before. I turned my head in confusion and uncertainty. I've never felt this way with her before. My hijacked mind tells me she's dangerous. Another part of me felt numb. I have been feeling this since we've started sharing her bed. I've built a wall around my heart that I'm afraid to free it. It was the only way I knew how to survive when I was in the Capitol. As long as she was away and safe from Snow, I didn't' care what happened to me. I was prepared to die and Snow knew it. When they finally used the tracker jacker, I lost control of my life and my self-being. The memories I had were shiny moments of Mutt Katniss as she killed my family over and over. Katniss Everdeen was someone I didn't recognize. It took months recovering in the hospital to separate what I thought I knew and what really was. With the passage of time, I still cannot distinguish other memories of my life. Are they real? Is this love? I love Johanna, Delly and Haymitch like family, but with Katniss she confused me. Can I let myself love with her again? When my memories returned I remembered the games and her pretending to love me. I realized that my feeling were unrequited. I felt lost, angry and humiliated. Even now she still rendered me in state of confusion. I knew that I had loved Katniss most of my life but after years of her indifference I given up hope of her returning my affection. I'm afraid to love her again.

"Peeta?" Johanna questioned. "You okay? We've been trying to get your attention for the last five minutes." I turned to see everyone with a worried look on their faces. Delly grabbed my arm to check my wristband. It was a cool evening but sweat surfaced on my forehead.

"Sorry," I apologized. "Just tired, I guess."

"Why don't you sleep," Johanna suggested as she grabbed her axe. "I'll keep watch for a while."

"No, I'm tired but not sleepy," I said as I started to pace. "I need to stretch my legs. I just need to walk around for a bit."

"Okay, but don't go far," she said. I walked a distance towards the woods behind my home. I felt their eyes on me as I walked away.

"Delly, is he okay?" Katniss asked.

"He's fine, Katniss," she assured her. "He's not stressing or having an episode. He needs sleep. I offered him some sleeping pills but he won't take them."

"You know why, Delly," Johanna said. "He still has nightmares." I don't remember the last time I had a decent night of continuous sleep without a nightmare. My nights with Katniss I don't sleep in fear that I would hurt her. I still dream of Mutt Katniss trying to kill me and telling me she never loved me.

"Well, he can't function properly if he can't sleep," Delly retorted. "Look at him."

I tried to shut their conversation out of my mind. I'm grateful for their concern but their hovering overwhelmed me. I looked up at the sky, as I took deep cleansing breaths to relax me. Their voices dropped in the background as my mind cleared of any thoughts. It was an exercise Dr. Aurelius taught me to help me relax. I don't know how long I stood there when Bron's voice startled me.

"Hey, Peet," Bron said. "I hope you don't mind that I join you." He looked back at the three girls. They were huddled together in front of the fire. Delly was talking in an animated manner entertaining Johanna and Katniss as both smiled at her exuberance. "They started having some girl talk and I had to leave." He shuddered in exaggeration.

I chuckled for a moment as I looked at them. "They are really something else, aren't they?"

"Yes, they are," I agreed. "They're pretty special."

"You know, I wake up sometimes thinking that I'm back in the hospital. That I'm not in 12 with Delly," Bron said. "That everything that has happened is just a dream."

I nodded in understanding. There are days when I awoke from my bed reminding myself that I'm home in District 12. I'll hear Johanna yelling at Delly for taking too long in the bathroom. Their presence confirmed my reality. I am back home and living in the Victor's Village. We are safe and alive.

Bron continued, "If it wasn't for you, she would have never agreed to be with me. Let alone date me." He had a love struck look on his face. I remembered that feeling with Katniss and wondered if it was real or not. In my mind, I see a Peeta who loved Katniss; following her around like a lovesick fool. Who I am now I don't recognize.

"Delly would have figure it out on her own," I declared. "She just needed a little push in the right direction."

"I'm still grateful," he said. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me, Bron," I said. "She was already falling for you long before I said anything." I paused. "She's very important to me. Do her right that's all I ask."

"I will, Peeta," Bron promised. "I would never do anything to hurt her. I love her."

I smiled. "That's good to know. I won't have to worry about her as much. You're a great guy and I know that you'll take good care of her."

"I will," he said. "I want a future with her. I just want you to know that and are okay with it."

"Why wouldn't I be?" I asked.

"Delly looks up to you like a brother," he said. "She never would have continued seeing me if I hurt you or if we didn't get along. You're her family. You and Johanna are important to her."

"If you're asking for my approval, you don't need it," I chuckled. "But I do appreciate it just the same."

"I think Delly would have expected it," he admitted. "And I don't mind asking since I know that you would always place her happiness above your own. You're that kind of guy. I can see why she loves you and kept you in her life. I want her to be happy."

"She deserves to be happy," I sighed. "At least someone gets to have a happily ever after."

"You have a chance to be happy too, Peeta," Bron said. I tried not to focus on his implication. It just left my mind spinning.

"Oh hell," Johanna exclaimed as her voice caught our attention. "Get that thing away from me."

"Oh my God," Bron chuckled.

"What's wrong?" I asked him as we looked back at the three girls.

"Ever since I gave Delly a camera, she hasn't stopped using it wherever we are," Bron said in amusement as he watched his girlfriend torture Johanna. She waved her axe at Delly.

"Just shut up and pose for me. Both of you stop being a baby," Delly demanded. "Put the axe down and stay still. Katniss, at least try to smile. " Just at that moment she took a picture of Johanna and Katniss. Both of them had a displeased look on their face.

"I hate having my pictures taken," Katniss whined. "I had enough of that in the Capitol to last me a lifetime."

"Well, you're not in the Capitol and these pictures are for me," Delly explained. "I want new memories of us together." She continued to rant as she sat next to Katniss and took another photo with herself included.

"Oh, I bet you have naughty pictures of you and Bron," Johanna hooted. "Give me that." She tried to grab the camera as Delly evaded her. Delly laughed as Johanna crawled over Katniss causing them to wrestle on the ground. All three giggled, their laughter echoed in the air. It was a joyous sound to hear.

"I noticed," I said with a smile on my face. Delly surprised me during Tamryn's birthday party when she started flashing her camera at me. The flash startled me at first that I thought I was having an episode.

Johanna got hold of the camera and was looking at the pictures. "These are boring. When I am I going to get to the good stuff?" Johanna whined as she continued to peruse the pictures.

"Well, you're in for a disappointment," Delly teased. "I put a password on those pictures so you can't see them."

Johanna's brow lifted on her forehead. "You're teasing me right?" she asked. "Aw, Delly you're no fun." Both Delly and Katniss burst into laughter.

"She has close to thousand pictures of all of us," Bron said. "I'm going to have to tell her to tone it down. It's getting annoying."

"Don't," I interjected. "We didn't have the luxury of cameras back then. And any photos we had left were destroyed during the bombing. Just let her have her indulgence, she'll get tired of it sooner or later."

"I didn't think of it that way," he said. I wished that I had some pictures of my family. There are days when I don't remember their faces. The way my dad eyes would crinkle when he laughed. I can't even remember the angry look on my mother's face when she yelled at me. I had nothing left of them.

As the night wore on, I found myself still awake as everyone had fallen asleep. I knew that Johanna would succumb to sleep after experiencing her episode. It left her physically and mentally drained. I smiled as I heard Delly snore beside Bron. Katniss managed to drift towards me and placed her head on my chest. I can hear and feel her breath. She looked at peace and rested.

"Peeta?" Katniss whispered as she shifted in her bag.

"Hey, I thought you were asleep," I said.

"I think the cold woke me," she admitted. I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't notice that the fire was going out.

"Sorry," I whispered as I slipped out my bag and put on my shoes. "I'll go add more wood to the fire. Just go back to sleep." I added more wood and noticed that she was staring at me and biting her lower lip. "What's wrong, Katniss?"

"Can we zip our bags together?" she asked in a quiet manner.

It was an innocent and practical question but coming from Katniss it unnerved me. "Uh, sure," I croaked. She smiled back as she removed herself from her bag and proceeded to unzip my sleeping bag and connected it to hers. Once done, she gestured for me to join her. I tiptoed to my side and slipped off my shoes. I lay back inside the bag to have her rest her head on my chest as I wrapped my arm around her.

"Is this okay?" she said. I nodded, speechless and nervous all of a sudden. "You're shaking."

"I'm cold," I lied. I didn't want her to know the affect she was causing me. She held on to me closer.

"I like camping," she said. "It reminds me of my dad. We used to sneak out and go camping when I was little."

"Yeah," I said. I held on to her as I felt her tremble. She never talked about her father often and when she did it caused her great sorrow.

"I miss him," she exhaled. "Camping was something he and I did together. Just me and him."

"Do you want to go back inside?" I asked. "If this is making you sad, we can…"

"No, I like spending time out here with you," she interrupted. My thoughts flash back to a memory when we were in the cave in the first arena. The first time she pretended to care for me. "We should do this more often." I felt her breasts on my side as she took a deep breath. She was soft and warm as she lay beside me. My heart wanted to reach for her but my mind spun with memories of her games and lies.

"Sometime in the near future, Katniss." I said. "We'll go camping when things are settled." I didn't know why I said that. Like I said she had me spinning as my heart and mind battled each other.

She raised her head and stared into my eyes. "You promise?" she asked. I nodded since words escaped me. She placed her head back down on my chest. This was a Katniss I am unfamiliar with. Not the Katniss I remembered who avoided my eyes and resented my presence in her life. We both lay in silence. I thought she had fallen asleep when she spoke up again in a timid tone.

"Do you think…when everything is settled that we could…" she asked when I snapped up to a sitting position causing her to drop to the sleeping bag. "Peeta, what's wrong?"

"There's someone in the woods," I stated. She turned to the direction of the trees.

"Peeta, there's no one there," she said.

"I'm not imagining it, Katniss." I said as I slipped on my shoes and picked up my knife.

"What are you doing?" she asked as she grabbed my hand.

"He's out there," I announced.

"Who's out there?" she inquired.

"The bastard who's been threatening everyone. I can feel it," I said as I stood up. My hands trembled from anxiety and fear.

"Peeta are you sure?" she questioned. "It could just be a wild dog roaming around and saw our fire."

"I'm not imaging it," I bawled in exasperation. "He was upright and wearing black. It was a person and not a dog. I'm going after him. I'm sick and tired of being stalked and threatened." I walked over to wake Bron when I noticed that Katniss was getting out of the bag. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going with you," she declared as she searched for her shoes at the foot of the sleeping bag.

"No you're not," I drawled. "You need to stay here with Johanna and Delly. I'm taking Bron."

"What's going on?" Johanna asked as she sat up and rubbed her eyes from sleep. "What time is it?" Bron and Delly sat up from their bags.

"Peeta, what's happening?" Delly inquired with a confused look on her face.

"Peeta says that he saw someone is in the woods and he's going after him," Katniss explained. Johanna's eyes widen as she too began to get up and put on her shoes.

"You're not going anywhere without me," Johanna stated.

"You both are not going," I said in a firm tone.

"Yes, we are," both Johanna and Katniss, shouted.

I turned and walked away. "Suit your self," I said in anger and frustration as I ran into the woods alone leaving them behind. I can hear Johanna and Katniss yelling at me to wait. I gritted my teeth. This bastard has been stalking my friends and me. All I knew was that this needed to end. I ran further into the woods. My left leg ached from running and the cold night air. I didn't know where I was so I stopped in my tracks. The woods were quiet but I can hear a distinct sound of someone moving around. I ran to the direction where the sound led me. Suddenly, Delly, Katniss, Bron and Johanna's voices echoed in the air. I was out of breath and cold. I had flashes of the woods in the arena during the first games. Everyone continued to yell my name. They were everywhere like Mockingjays in the arena. My mind was in a state of confusion. I looked down to check on my wristband. It was turning yellow. I stopped and took deep breaths to clear my mind and control my body from shaking. I closed my eyes shut and bent over to catch my breath. After a few seconds later I stood upright and stared into the woods. My eyes connected to familiar eyes that had haunted my dreams. My blood boiled in anger as the woods turned shiny.

* * *

**Katniss POV – **

My heart was beating hard against my chest. I was sick with fear and anger as I watched Peeta disappear into the woods. It took seconds for all of us to realize that Peeta was alone. We scattered into different directions in search of him_. 'I can't lose him now, I can't,'_ my mind reeled. _'When I get my hands on him I'm going to hit so hard his head will rattle. Then I'll hug him for scaring me. That's if he not dead or kidnapped by his stalker.'_ I shook that fatal thought from my head. I will definitely hit him first. Then I'll kiss him.

"Peeta, where are you?" I yelled into the air. I ran with bow in hand to the right as I heard a commotion. The woods were pitched black as the moon hung over to provide some visibility. I ran into the direction of some sound of scuffling and a scream. My mind raced. Peeta is out alone in the woods with his stalker and wild dogs that roamed the night. He is only armed with a knife to protect himself. Suddenly, I see him hovering over something lying on the ground. His back is turned so I can't see if he's injured or hurt.

"Peeta!" I yelled at him. He turned around clutching his bloody knife in his hand. There is blood over his face and body. His clothes were torn and I noticed long cut marks on his chest and arms. He looked feral and dangerous. I stopped in my tracks when I saw a look in his eyes. They were blank and unfocused as if he looked right through me. He blinked a few times. I drew my bow when I saw him tremble as he raised the knife in his hand towards me. "Peeta, are you okay?"

"Run," he whispered. "Run, Katniss. Run!" His voice was low but it echoed in the still of the night.

I shook my head. "I'm not leaving you," I told him. Never again.

"Run!" he bellowed as he took a step towards me causing me to step backwards. Bron and Delly appeared besides me. "Leave Katniss. Now!" He dropped his knife and fell to his knees. "Please, stop. It's hurt so much." He grabbed his head with both hands. A few seconds later, he dropped to the ground. Delly ran up to him and checked his wristband.

"Don't come near him, Katniss," she instructed. "Let me check him first. Bron check and see who's over there."

"Who is it?" I cried as my body shook with fear for him. Delly checked his chest and arms.

"It's just a wild dog," Bron sighed in relief. "It's dead."

"Delly, is he hurt bad?" I asked. "Where is all the blood coming from?

"Not all of it is his," she assured me. "He's got deep scratches on his chest and arms but the rest is from the dog." She looked back to see the wild animal a few feet away from her. Impatient, I ran and took Peeta in my arms as I dropped my bow beside him. "He's okay, Katniss. You need to step back; you're getting blood all over you." I didn't care that I was splattered with blood. I held on to him in a tight hug as I realized that I could have lost him tonight. I sobbed in gratitude and relief. I don't know how many chances I've been given. My fate and my life are intrinsically connected to Peeta's. I have denied it and fought it. I raised his head and kissed his forehead. He was warm and sweaty amidst the cold air. He was breathing and alive, it was all that mattered to me.

The next morning we're huddled together in Peeta's living room. Delly sedated him and informed us that he will be sleeping through the rest of the morning. After lunch we asked Haymitch to join us and told him what happened. Last night's experience all shook us in different ways. Johanna felt guilty since it was her idea to sleep outside.

"I'm sorry. It's my fault. If I hadn't suggest to sleep outside, Peeta wouldn't have gotten hurt," Johanna repented. I detected sorrow and angry radiating from her. Delly was calm turning into nurse mode as Bron sat in silence beside her.

"Stop it, Johanna." I said with a bit of anger. "You can't take the blame for Peeta going into the woods on his own. He should have waited for us."

"You know how Peeta gets when anyone of us is in danger," Delly clarified. "He was trying to protect us."

"And he almost got himself killed," Johanna said. "I promised to protect him. This is my fault."

"It's no ones fault," Bron uttered. "We need to concentrate on Peeta. Listen, I didn't want to bring this up but…I found evidence that someone is living out there in the woods."

"What do you mean?" I asked. "When did you find out?"

"After we took him back to the house, I went back into the woods early this morning," he explained. "I found a tent and few supplies a mile away."

"What else did you find?" Johanna asked.

"It's mostly camping stuff," he said as he cleared his throat. "But I may have a idea who he is."

"Who do you think it is?" Haymitch asked as we all held our breath.

"It's got to be someone who has survival skills. He's someone experienced in warfare and capable of living out in the woods for a long period of time. Someone capable of sneaking around covertly," he said. "This person has the means to stalk Peeta undetected."

"I've collected a few letters that are consistent to the stalking. The letters started the same time Peeta was being stalked at the Capitol," Haymitch announced. "I'm thinking he's from the Capitol. Everyone in the district is busy rebuilding their lives and recovering from the rebellion."

"Here's the thing," Bron added. "The equipment and supplies he left behind, they're standard military issue." He paused then continued, "They are all came from District 13."

I gasped in surprise. "Are you sure?" Haymitch asked. "So you're thinking he's a former rebel from 13?"

"Yes, no, I mean it could be a soldier from one of the Districts. He could even be from the Capitol, like a peacekeeper," Bron stated. "Or someone like me who joined the rebellion."

"I thought all former peacekeepers were incarcerated," I said. I never knew what happened to the peacekeepers that were caught after the rebellion. I was busy recovering from my PTSD.

"It doesn't matter. Whoever he is," Delly interjected. 'He's taking great pleasure in taunting Peeta. It's just so cruel. He's a coward if you ask me."

"It could be anyone really," Bron said. "Half of Panem thinks he's traitor." I winced at his observation and comment.

"Or he could be a guardsmen," Johanna said. My mind raced. I knew whom she was implying. Who hated Peeta enough to stalk him and keep tabs on him? Someone who could track his every move and go unnoticed?

"You can't go around making that kind of accusation without proof," Haymitch concluded. I agreed with Haymitch. Gale may have changed, but I refused to think that he would hurt Peeta that way. Yes, he was angry and jealous of Peeta but to stalk him? That wasn't Gale.

"He wouldn't do that," I defended my former best friend.

"Really Katniss?" she said in an angry tone. "You don't think he would want to hurt Peeta? He hates Peeta."

"Gale hates Peeta. I admit that," I said, "But to stalk Peeta, that isn't his style."

Johanna eyes narrowed. "I think I need to have a long talk with your ex-boyfriend," she sneered at me.

"He was never my boyfriend," I corrected her.

"Tell that to Peeta," Johanna spat. She was angry and scared for him. I am too. I didn't want to argue with her. Nothing mattered to me but protecting him.

"Like Haymitch said you need proof," I said.

"Johanna don't confront Gale," he advised. "He's got backing from President Paylor and the office of the Guardsmen to support him. If it is Gale, we can't tip him off. And I want positive and undeniable proof that it's him. I mean it, Johanna. Don't do anything stupid."

"Don't worry," she smirked. "I won't touch a hair on his head. For now. But if it turns out it is him, he's mine." She stood up and crossed the room to stare out a window. "And there is nothing and no one on earth who can stop me from beating the shit out of him." _'Take a number,'_ my mind said. I sat there with my arms crossed in a sullen and forlorn state that I didn't notice Peeta enter the room.

"Hey, guys," Peeta greeted us in a soft tone. He was dressed in light blue sweat pants with a white t-shirt. His arms were wrapped with gauze making him appear wearing long sleeves. His hair was tussled that I wanted to run my hands through his golden locks. He was adorable, as he stood in front of us in his bare feet. I looked at his fake foot peeking out of his pants. It looked real but as you looked closer you can tell it's a prosthetic limb. I have never seen Peeta with his prosthetic leg; he kept that disability from me. Guilt gnawed my chest as I remembered how he lost his leg. "I'm sorry that I didn't make any bread this morning."

"What are you doing out of bed?" Delly asked as Johanna and I approached Peeta. She checked his wristband and placed a hand on his forehead.

"How are you feeling, Peet?" Johanna asked.

"Hey, Peeta," I said. He looked at Johanna and Delly as I noticed that he kept his eyes downcast when he addressed me.

"Hey, Katniss," he mumbled. "I'm okay, Johanna." He raised his hand and rubbed the back of his head. "I think my stomach woke me up." He looked up behind his long blond lashes. My stomach fluttered when his eyes connected to mine. "I'm kinda hungry."

Ten minutes later, I'm in his kitchen cooking scrambled eggs, Delly prepared his tea without sugar while Johanna warmed up left over cheese buns. Peeta sat in stunned silence since we commandeered him to sit at his kitchen table as we prepared his breakfast.

"This is a sickening sight," Haymitch snorted as he leaned against the kitchen doorway. "How come I never get this kind of service?" Bron nodded in agreement as he stared at his girlfriend. She placed a teacup in front of Peeta while I dropped a plate of eggs on the table.

"Because you're not Peeta," I stated in a matter of fact. I blushed, Delly giggled as Johanna snickered at me. Peeta's ears turned a deep shade of red as he sipped his tea. It was true. I would never do something like this except for Peeta. I sat next to him as he nibbled half of his breakfast. His appetite still hasn't returned but he was eating. We reconvened into the living room where Peeta listened as Haymitch explained the last turn of events. He was quiet and still for most of the conversation.

"We at least have some idea who might be stalking you," Bron said. "It's not definitive but it's a start."

"Are you okay, Peeta?" Delly asked. "Maybe you should go back to bed."

"Um…I need you guys to tell me something," Peeta spoke. "And I want you to tell met the truth." He paused then raised both his arms at us. "How did I get these?" He gestured to the gauze wrapped around his arms.

"You don't remember?" Haymitch asked. Peeta shook his head. "What's the last thing you remember?"

"I remember bits and pieces from last night," Peeta answered as his cheeks turned a shade of pink. "I remember lying in my sleeping bag with…then I saw someone in the woods so I ran after him."

"What else?" Haymitch inquired as he looked at me with a smirk on his face.

"I'm in the woods when I see a pair of red eyes," he sighed. "Then I think I blacked out for a moment because I don't remember anything except seeing Katniss with her bow. She's pointing it at me and the next thing I know I'm in my bed." I watched as his shoulders dropped and his eyes closed. "Please tell me I didn't hurt…anyone."

I grabbed his hand and it startled him. He opened his teary eyes. "You didn't hurt anyone, Peeta," I reassured him. "No one got hurt except you."

"I remember seeing blood on my hands. I had a knife…" he choked. "You were there…and…" He squeezed my hand tight.

"You had an encounter with a wild dog, Peet," Bron explained. "He scratched you good but you killed it. The blood you saw was from the dog. You didn't hurt anyone, I promise Peeta. We're all okay."

He sighed in relief then leaned back on the sofa closing his eyes. I held on to his hand and placed it on my lap. Everyone and everything disappeared as I leaned back to lie next to him. Minutes later, he's fallen asleep and dropped his head on my lap. I'm oblivious to my surrounding that I didn't notice Delly with her camera taking photos of us. Everyone else had left the room. My only focus was Peeta.

The next couple of days Peeta was in and out of consciousness. The ordeal in the woods took a lot of him. I remained by his side knowing that he was unaware of my presence. When he woke up, he would have delusions asking Johanna if I was really there. It broke me heart every time he questioned whether or not I was real. He was convinced that they were still a prisoner in the Capitol and my appearance was just an illusion to break him. He would take my hand when he realized I was real and fall back to sleep. He slept a lot and ate little. It came to a point that Delly was forced to wake him and make him drink soup. I should be relieved that he was catching up with his sleep, but I missed him. This reminded me of the first time Peeta awoken to find me in his bedroom months before. I realized that this would be a recurring crisis in our lives. I will always have periods of depression while Peeta experienced momentary delusions of being trapped in the Capitol. These mental scars from the arena and rebellion are forever embedded in our lives but I'm willing to face them as long as Peeta is by my side.

After checking his vitals, Delly admitted this was the longest that Peeta has slept without a nightmare. I was surprised that she didn't report his last incident to Dr. Aurelius. "He just needs us," she said as she placed a hand over his heart. "No medication or therapy session in the Capitol can mend what is broken in him." I smiled at Delly's assessment. "Only the power of love and our support can help him heal." It was sappy but true. I've known what Peeta's love had done for me; it helped me to be true and strong for everyone. He provided me strength at the times when I was weak and he gave me hope when all I wanted to do was give up. I will endeavor to return the favor whether he believes it or not.

We all agreed that it would be in Peeta's best interest that he remained in 12 with us to watcher over and protect him. When we told Peeta of our decision, he sighed in relief and thanked us for not making him go back to the hospital. In truth I didn't want him to leave.

Last night I attempted to sleep alone. I slept for about one hour when my nightmares visited me. I crept back to Peeta's house and tiptoed into his bedroom. When I found him he trembled in his sleep as he chanted, 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry.' I pulled his wrist to check his band. Delly taught me to read the display during his long sleeping period. She was the only medical personnel besides Dr. Aurelius who can remove and replace the unit. She informed me that there is a button on the unit that would knock Peeta out in an instant. It was a preventative measure incase the wristband failed to medicate him in a critical moment. So far it's been doing its job. He calmed once I held him in my arms. I left him this morning in hopes that he would continue to sleep some more.

I'm wrapped in a blanket staring out of a window with a warm cup of tea in my hands. I can hear movement upstairs as I realized that Peeta has awakened from his sleep. I am charged to watch over Peeta since Johanna left 12 to visit a friend in 7 and Delly left for work. Bron is asleep in Delly's old room since he has night patrol this week. Peeta insisted his presence in his home if Johanna was not around. He feared for my life when I am alone with him. I didn't care for the arrangement since I wanted to spend time with him. He balked at the idea.

"Good morning, Katniss," Peeta greeted me. "Did you want some breakfast? I could whip up a batch of pancakes if you want?"

"I'm fine, Peeta. I'm not really hungry," I said as I perused his appearance. He wore a dark blue dress pants, a light blue shirt and black patent shoes. "Why are you dressed up this morning?" He looked handsome despite the fact that his clothes didn't fit him well. He looked like a little boy playing grown up in his clothes. His hair was slicked back and he had a rosy color on his cheeks.

"I have an appointment with Delly to recharge my wristband and I have to see Thom in town," he said. "I have to pick up some papers for the bakery. There are other applications I have to sign." He walked into his kitchen. "I'm going to have a piece of toast and tea. Would you like some?"

"That's not enough for breakfast," I scolded him. "You need more than that."

"Well, you just having tea so…" he shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not that hungry either." We stood there for a moment in awkward silence. Then the thought struck me.

"Who walking you to town?" I asked.

Peeta's eyes narrowed. "I'm capable enough to walk to town on my own,' he said. I detected frustration and angry behind his baby blue eyes. "I don't need a sitter."

"I know that you can take care of yourself," I acknowledged. "But don't you think that under the circumstances you should take some precaution. You're being stalked…"

"I quite aware of my situation, Katniss," he retorted. "But I'm not letting this guy dictate my life by making me a prisoner in my own home and not being able to go anywhere I want. I'm not going to live like that."

"It's only temporary," I argued.

"You don't know that," he said. "Besides, I'm not going to let anyone get hurt because of me. Not if I can help it."

I understood his rationale. I would do anything to protect the ones I loved even if it meant keeping them at a distance. But this is Peeta we're talking about.

"Peeta, you either go with someone or you're not going at all," I said. "You're life is still in jeopardy and if you think I'm going to let you…"

"I'm just walking to town in daylight to see Delly and pick up an application, Katniss," he interjected.

"Then you won't mind me coming with you," I stated.

"Katniss, I don't think that's a good idea," he said. He had a panicked look about him.

"It's either me or Bron," I suggested.

"Bron is asleep and is working tonight," he said.

"Then you're stuck with me," I demanded as I stood up and dropped the blanket on the sofa. I looked down and realized that I still wore a pair of sleep pants and sweatshirt. "Can we stop by my place first so I can change my clothes?"

Half an hour later, I walked beside Peeta on the way to town. It had come to my attention that this was the first time he and I are alone together. No Johanna or Delly hovering over us. No Haymitch or Bron playing chaperone. I felt giddy and nervous. With all the courage I could muster I reached for his hand and grasped it. Peeta looked startled but didn't pull away like I thought he would have. His head was down but he had a tiny smile on his face. He stole glances at me making me feel subconscious.

"Anything wrong, Peeta," I asked in a nervous tone. He shook his head.

"It just that…" he stuttered. "You look pretty in that dress." I blushed. I debated for over ten minutes in my closet as I changed my clothes so I could accompany Peeta to town. I wanted to look good for him. I wore a simple blue dress with dark brown knee high boots.

"Thank you," I returned as I squeezed his hand. I felt happy like a normal girl taking a walk with her beau. I smile at that thought. As we approached the town I noticed Peeta's demeanor changed. His shoulders tensed and his pace quicken. Many townspeople stared at us as we walked along the street on our way to the Medical Center. Some looked displeased and angry. I held onto Peeta's hand in support as I glared back at anyone who looked at him the wrong way. I could feel Peeta pulling away from me but I held on tight. When we reached the new hospital, an over anxious and bubbly administrative staff greeted Peeta. It was obvious that she recognized him. The waiting area was not crowded but our appearance caused a commotion that security staff appeared by our side.

"Mr. Mellark, it is always such a joy to see you," she greeted him. "How may I help you today?"

"I'm have an appointment with Nurse Cartwright," he answered in weary tone. "Can you please tell her I'm here?"

"Of course, please have a seat," she said. "I'll let her know you have arrived." She winked at him. "If there is anything else you need, please let me know." Oh my God, did that woman just flirted with Peeta in front of me? I yanked him away from the reception desk and sat him close to me. I scowled back to the woman behind the desk when I caught her ogling at Peeta.

Everyone from staff to patients kept staring at us as we sat at the corner of the room when a tall burly man approached us. "Mr. Mellark will you please accompany me to another room," he demanded in firm tone. "Your presence has caused quite a disturbance with our clients and staff."

"I am sitting here minding my own business and wish to be left alone. I am here for my appointment." Peeta said.

The odious man continued. "I only wish to provide you some privacy until Nurse Cartwright arrives."

"I don't need special treatment," Peeta said. "I'm staying here until I am called. You're the one causing a disturbance."

"Mr. Mellark I would recommend that you take my advice and wait in another room," he insisted. He leaned over to Peeta. "Or I will have security escort you by force if necessary."

"If Peeta wants to stay here," I interjected, "I suggest you leave him alone. He's not disturbing anyone."

"And who might you be, Miss…" he sneered as he eyed me up and down.

"Katniss. Katniss Everdeen," I announced. "And you are?"

"I am Dante Pastorelli, the Head Administrator of this medical facility," Pastorelli's eyes grew large as he gasped in surprise. "I'm sorry, Miss Everdeen," he mumbled. "I didn't recognize you or else I would have…"

"I would appreciate that you leave me and Peeta alone," I demanded. "We are here for his appointment."

"Of course, my apologies," he stumbled. "If I may be of any assistance to you and Mr. Mellark please feel free to contact me." I nodded my head in dismissal. Peeta appeared pale as he sat next to me. Pastorelli and security left the room.

"Peeta, are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine, Katniss. Please don't make a fuss," he whispered as he squeezed my hand. We met Delly as few minutes later. She had a big smile on her face when she saw me with Peeta. She replaced his band with a slimmer design since it chaffed his wrist. Beetee redesigned the original to ensure another security feature to prevent Peeta from overdosing. Before leaving Peeta excused himself to use the men's facility.

"Is everything okay, Katniss?" Delly asked in concern as Peeta exited the room.

"I'm not sure," I said. "The walk through town was difficult. I couldn't believe how everyone is treating Peeta. Even the hospital administrator was hostile towards him."

"You mean, Mr. Pastorelli," Delly said. "Don't mind him. He's just upset that he lost his job in the Capitol. And the only work he could find was here in 12."

"Do you know why he was fired?" I asked.

"Not really," she said. "But since his arrival he's been fixated on Peeta. He always seems to know when he has his appointments with me. He's not suppose to. Patient confidentiality and all that. Especially if it's you, Peeta and Johanna. I usually meet him at the appointed time but I was running late this morning."

"Don't feel bad," I said. "I was happy to take him. I think I'll accompany him from now on."

"I wanted to change the unit at Peeta's house, but it against hospital policy," Delly added. "Pastorelli's harmless and I'm confident that Peeta can take care of himself."

A thought formed in my mind. "Do you think he could be the one stalking Peeta," I asked.

"Pastorelli," Delly scoffed. "He's an over pampered bureaucrat from the Capitol whose only job is to push paper around. He couldn't survive let alone know how to stalk Peeta. I have a better chance of being Peeta's stalker." We both giggled at the thought of girly Delly in a soldier's uniform carrying a large gun and backpack camping out in the woods all-alone. We burst into laughter as Peeta appeared in the room.

"What's so funny?" Peeta asked.

"Nothing Peeta," I said as I grabbed his hand and led him out of the medical center.

After his appointment, he headed straight to Thom's office and picked up the applications. He was subdued and quiet as we walked back through town. It was obvious that this ordeal was taking toll on him. Walking through town felt as if we were back in the Capitol and being watched under everyone's scrutiny. We can never be just Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen who were reaped for the 74th Hunger Games. We are forever the Star-Crossed Lovers who survived two arenas and a rebellion. There is no such thing as normal for us.

"Peeta, are you okay?" I asked as I placed an arm around his waist. His head was downcast and I felt him tremble in my arms.

"I just want to go home," he answered. Suddenly, a loud and shrill siren blared into the air. People around us ran towards the center of town. Curious, we ran toward the area to find a large group of people gathering in front of the Justice building. Four guardsmen stood in front of a tall pole. Gale appeared from the building escorting a man in cuffs. Both Peeta and I recognized him. He was the groundskeeper in our school. Gale sported a long strip of gauze in his left cheek, a souvenir of our last encounter.

His voice rang into the air, "Nolan Broadstreet you are convicted as a repeat offender for stealing and shoplifting. This is your third strike." I learned that the first penalty for committing a crime is paying a heavy fine. The second penalty you serve one month in jail and third you are sentenced at the district's head guardsmen's discretion a punishment fit for your crime. "The law will not allow such behavior or tolerate crimes against the district. I hereby…sentence you to 10 lashings for your crimes. This is an example for all of district 12 to remember that no crime will go unpunished and that the law does not discriminate."

"Katniss, that's Nolan from our school," Peeta gasped. I felt him move towards the front of the crowd. I knew of his intention. We were reliving Gale's whipping years earlier. I grabbed onto his hand tight. I watched in horror as they tied Nolan to a post and tore the shirt off his back.

"Peeta, there's nothing you can do," I gulped. I couldn't face another incident that would involve Peeta getting hurt. His sense of right and any form of injustice always preceded his own wellbeing. "Please Peeta." The look in his eyes tore at my chest. I clutched onto his waist keeping him from moving away from me. "Look at me."

His eyes were brimming with tears. I heard the sound of the whip slicing through the air. Nolan's screams echoed around us. I looked back to see Gale as he watched over his guardsmen whipping Nolan. Then, he looked into the crowd and stared at me dead in the eyes. There were no sign of remorse or mercy in his eyes. I turned and rested my head on Peeta's shoulder. We stood together crying and feeling helpless.

From the corner of my eyes I felt as though someone watching us. I turned to see the woman from the new medical center staring at us. I realized that she was staring at Peeta again and not acknowledging my presence. I didn't appreciate the way she was looking at him. Grabbing Peeta's hand I led him away from the crowd.

"We have to help him, Katniss," Peeta begged as he tugged me back to the crowd.

"Peeta, there's nothing we can do," I uttered. "If you go back there and interfere, Gale will use any opportunity to put you in jail, do you understand?"

"How can he just stand there…" he said his voice breaking, "and let that happen? What happened to him?"

"I don't know," I cried. "Peeta, he's not the same person we knew." We held on to each other reliving a moment in our lives. A pivotal moment that changed us. The day I chose Gale over Peeta. I was scared and confused and I had convinced myself that I didn't have a future with him; that I was meant to be with Gale.

"I'm sorry," I said. "I'm so sorry." I clutched on to his waist as I closed my eyes.

"Why are you apologizing," he asked as his breath brushed my ear.

"That day. The day Gale got whipped," I said. "I chose him."

"I know," he acknowledged. "I know Katniss. I saw how you were with him after the whipping. I knew you chose him. I remembered every time you chose him." He pulled himself from my embrace. "We don't need to do this now."

"But I want to explain," I said as I wiped tears from my eyes.

"You don't need to explain anything," he mumbled. His eyes were sad and haunted. "I don't want to relive history that is dead and over with. It won't accomplish anything."

"Peeta, please…" I sobbed.

"I can barely remember the good things that happened between us," he whispered. I tried to think of times that we had together, moments that were good between us. They were rare and a few. "Please don't bring back memories that only hurt my…head." He placed a hand on his chest as if he's in pain. There is so much I wanted to say but my words were caught in my throat. I glanced at his wristband; it was greenish-yellow. "And talking about it here in the open, it's dangerous." He was holding on to himself as if he was trying to keep himself upright. I couldn't handle the distance between us so I grabbed him and wrapped my arms around him. I held him close in vise grip.

"You're right," I said to appease him but I knew that it wasn't. "This isn't a good time." A confrontation between us was not appropriate. Peeta was vulnerable and I was angry with myself.

He nodded his head. "We don't need to do this now, okay?" he said. "We have other things to consider." He paused. "We're okay, Katniss." Our walk back home was long and slow. Both of us lost in our own thoughts.

"I know that Snow and the games are gone," he said, "but why does it feel like we haven't made any progress?"

"I know, Peeta," I said. Watching Gale and the guardsmen felt like the Peacekeepers subjugation all over again.

"It's like we've moved forward but stayed the same," he added. "Did we remove one evil to be replaced with another? What makes the Guardsmen any different from the Peacekeepers?" There wasn't a difference that I can see. The only distinction is that they're wearing black. My mind drifted towards Delly's boyfriend. I tried not to see Bron in the same light. He was born and raised in the Capitol while Gale struggled in 12. The comparison is like day and night. Yet Bron held no resentment or bitterness for the districts while Gale hated anything or anyone Capitol. Bron fought to free the districts from Snow. He was a Capitol citizen defying and denouncing the life he was born into. Gale fought for freedom and justice but his anger lingered. He wore his bitterness and hatred like a tattoo; it burns and consumes him.

"I don't know," I said. "But I am certain of one thing. Gale has power and influence. We have to be careful and not do anything that will give him the chance to hurt us."

"He can only have that power if we let him," Peeta said. "I swear, Katniss. If he does anything to hurt Delly or Johanna. I don't know what…I know he's your best friend."

"Was my best friend," I corrected him. "He's out of my life for good."

"What kind of man is he to turn his back on you?" he questioned.

"It was him that ended our friendship," I said in disgust. "He is not what I want or need in my life. And now he's angry with me as well."

"If he ever hurts you, Katniss," he threatened. "I don't care what he does to me."

"The same goes for me, Peeta," I promised. "He will never hurt you again." His eyes focused into mine and I swore something reconnected between us. This how it should be; he and I together. "We protect each other."

"Always." Peeta returned. He secured his arm around me as I lay my head on his shoulder. His touch comforted me. It has always been he and I against the world. But this time there are no games and Snow threatening us. I am no longer paralyzed by fear and uncertainty. We continued our trek back home with a silent vow and a promise.

* * *

**Have a great week.**


	13. Chapter 13 - All Roads Lead to You

Chapter 13 – All Roads Lead to You

_**AN: Thank you readers for the reviews. They are greatly appreciated. My future updates may be a day or two late but I am working on them. This chapter has a couple of POV's besides Peeta and Katniss. Hope you enjoy.**_

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**Katniss POV – **

On the night of the whipping incident, I had one of the worse nightmares ever. I dreamt that Peeta was tied up to a post, shirt removed and whipped by none other that Gale. His eyes looked feral as he arced the whip wrapping it around Peeta's neck. As he pulled back the light in Peeta's eyes dimmed. The whip snapped his neck in two. I awoke screaming. My throat burned from yelling for Peeta. Strong arms wrapped around me. "Shh, Katniss, you okay. You're okay," Peeta's voice penetrated my fogged mind. With my eyes shut my nose drew in the fragrance of yeast and flour. I clung to him as he calmed me with soothing words of comfort; the timber of his voice soft and tender, his arms strong and firm. Words escaped me as I climbed onto his lap and sobbed into his shirt holding him tight. A light breeze and moonlight entered through my open window. I shivered from Peeta's gentle touch.

"It's all right Katniss," Peeta said as his hand traced soft circles on my back. He still had gauze on his arms preventing me from feeling his soft skin. I wished that he had taken off his t-shirt so I can run my hands down his firm chest and abs. Since sleeping together my mind were flooded with racy thoughts of us naked lying in bed together. My tongue would trace circles around his nipple. Ugh, I wanted him but had no idea how to seduce him. I quivered thinking how his hand would reach inside my panties and …"You're shivering. Are you cold, I can close the window?" Peeta said as he interrupted my fantasy. He misunderstood my reaction as fear and my ache for him bubbled in my chest. It reminded me of the first time I felt this way when we were in the cave at the first arena. I didn't recognize it then, but now I know better. "You're safe, Katniss. No one is going to hurt you, I promise."

"He hurt you," I wailed as the memory of the nightmare resurfaced.

"Who, Katniss?" He asked soft and gentle. "Who hurt me?"

"Gale," I whimpered. "You were tied to a post and he was whipping you. He killed you."

"I'm okay, Katniss," he assured me. "I'm here with you. You're just remembering what happened yesterday. It wasn't me."

"I'll never let him hurt you, Peeta," I swore as I opened my eyes. "He'll have to go through me first."

"Not unless Johanna gets to him first," he joked. I remembered Johanna's reaction when Peeta called her in 7. She was so livid that I can hear swearing on the phone. I was rattled from my nightmare that I couldn't contain myself. My voiced was hitched and my breath uneven. I dropped my head on Peeta's shoulder; my nose rubbed his soft neck.

"I'm sorry if I woke you," I hiccupped. I felt shame and gratitude for only he can calm my battered soul.

"You didn't," he returned as he tried to dislodge me from his lap. "Why don't you lie back and get some sleep." I held on as I clung to him.

"Just hold me like this," I whispered; my arms around his waist as I burrowed my head onto his chest. With his arms around me I drifted back to sleep feeling safe, warm and loved.

A couple of days later I walked into to my kitchen, Sae and Tamryn are already seated for breakfast. I had consulted Haymitch about my decision to relieve Sae and Tamryn of their visits. With the threat surrounding Peeta, it was best that I distance myself from them. Anyone involved in our lives were in danger. The thought pained me since I have let them into my life and they were very dear to me. For now the alienation and distance was necessary. I seated myself next to Tamryn as I noticed her sullen state.

"What's wrong Tamryn?" I asked. She looked up with a sad look in her eyes. I turned to Sae who had a blank expression on her face.

"Peeta doesn't want to be my friend anymore," she said. Her eyes brimmed with tears.

"What do you mean?" I questioned.

"He won't let me come to his house anymore," she answered. "Grandma says that he's busy, but I know that he doesn't want to see me anymore." Her lip quivered. It seemed that Peeta had come to the same conclusion. He had ripped his presence away from Tamryn's life to protect her. And as a child, she had no understanding of his distance.

"I tried to explain that Peeta's busy," Sae interjected. "She doesn't understand that there are times that he can't see her."

"It's true, sweetie," I answered back. "A lot of things are happening in his life right now and he really is busy."

"Really?" she asked. "So he's not mad at me?" She wiped her tears with back of her hand.

"He's not mad, Tamryn. Listen, when things get better for him, I promise you you'll get to visit him again," I reassured her a took a napkin and wiped her face. "Here, blow your nose."

"Okay," she said accepting my explanation but still sadden by the loss. I turned to Sae.

"After you drop her off to school, can you come back?" I asked her. "There are few things that I need to talk to you about." Sae nodded her head.

An hour later we are seated in my living room. Sae's face was expressionless as I explained the events surrounding Peeta. She was angry at first when Peeta started to pull away from Tamryn. "…so it's best that the both of you keep your distance from all of us."

"She won't understand why we won't be coming here," Sae added. "She loves you and Peeta so much." She softened as she realized that Peeta's absence and was due to his desire to protect them.

"I know it's going to be difficult," I said, "but when things are better and when Peeta's stalker is caught, we can go back to our lives and resume regular activities. It's just for the best that you stay away."

"How is Peeta's taking all of this?" she asked.

"Not well," I confided. "I don't know how much more he can take. But all of us are here to support him. I'm not letting anything happen to him."

"I know, dear," she said. "I know he's in good hands. I just wish he'd get a break."

"Me too," I agreed.

"He has one of the biggest heart I know," she complimented. "It must be killing him knowing that all this is happening." I nodded in agreement. "Katniss, I didn't want to bring this up and add more trouble but there is something I need to tell you." My brows lifted. "There's a rumor going around town that…Peeta's abusing you."

"What?" I gasped in horror. "How can anyone think that Peeta's hurting me in anyway?"

"I don't how it started or who started it but it's all over town," she said. I bent my head down in frustration and irritation. "Some people are saying that he's keeping you from leaving your house because of your fragile state of mind. That's he taking advantage of you. Manipulating you."

"I can't believe this," I gritted my teeth. My Peeta, my kind hearted Peeta is being slandered. Being painted as a monster.

"We know it's not true, Katniss," Sae said. "He would die before he'd ever hurt you." I knew that. But all of Panem was willing to believe otherwise. No one knew he was willing to die for me in two arenas. He came home hijacked and tortured because of his love for me. I didn't realize that my offer to sacrifice my life for his spoke volumes. I loved him too. "I'm sorry, Katniss. But I thought you should know."

"Thank you for telling me," I said. I felt tired as months of stress and worry had caught up to me. All I wanted to do was find Peeta and go someplace where no one can find us.

"I don't know if I should say anything to him," she pondered. "I think this would kill him. He's so fragile and vulnerable when it concerns you and this would…"

"No don't," I interjected. "I know how to resolve this rumor." I just have to convince people that it wasn't true.

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**Haymitch POV – **

I pulled at my collar. The new dress shirt Delly purchased was choking me. I looked around the room and shook my head. I hate meetings of any sort. The new town council had implemented meetings once a month. I never attended them unless my life depended on it. There are 6 members on the board each originating from other districts. How they were appointed? I couldn't care less. However, the council held Peeta's fate as an owner of the bakery. It didn't seem fair or right. I turned my head to peruse at Peeta. Despite his calm and collected demeanor, I knew that he was nervous. He was dressed in a dress shirt and pants. He looked young but his eyes bore the years of hardship and suffering. Katniss must have detected his state as I watched her grasp his trembling hands. She has been at his side every waking moment. When she wasn't visiting the woods, she was camped at Peeta's house since Johanna left for a mysterious business trip to District 7. In my opinion, Katniss would be at Peeta's home regardless. The Girl on Fire is love-struck with the Boy with the Bread. It's about damn time. She scowled as I caught her gazing at Peeta. I smirked back. Johanna was seated to the other side of him. She returned home from her mysterious trip from 7 to attend the meeting. They both flanked him like a protective wall.

The scowl on Katniss' face lingered as she stared down a woman two rows ahead of us. The woman was dark haired with green eyes. She was a beautiful well-figured woman in her late 20's trying to get Peeta's attention. He was unaware of the death glare Katniss was sending towards her. I am very proud of Katniss staking her claim.

At the back of the assembly are four well-placed Guardsmen standing at attention. District 12 is the only district that has more Guardsmen stationed in Panem. A necessity for the protection of the Star Crossed Lovers from the media and the rest of Panem. Any media or press are escorted back to the Capitol if they ever breached District 11 perimeter. The detail was designed to protect Peeta and Katniss and provide them the privacy they deserve. Other guardsmen are still trying to contain the rioting and disorder in the other districts. It makes me wonder how Bron was able to get assigned at 12. After yawning for the hundredth time, the meeting droned for 35 minutes until it reached the topic on hand.

"We have 3 applicants for the construction of a bakery for District 12," Councilman Jeb Achers, a rotund man with light brown hair spoke. "A Mr. Don Smithey from District 1, Mr. Alec Baylor from District 10 and Mr. Peeta Mellark of District 12." He shifted the applications on the table as he looked up into the crowd. "All forms and documents have been reviewed by each council member and we have agreed that only two applicants are approved. Mr. Mellark and Mr. Baylor. Only new applicants are allowed to start a new business at 12. As for Mr. Smithey, your application indicates that you are padding your already heavy pockets with a thriving business at District 1. Hence, your application is denied."

Don Smithey stood up in huff and exited the meeting. "A total waste of my time," he spouted.

A second later Councilman Achers addressed the assembly. "Mr. Baylor please explain to the council why you have applied for a bakery in 12 when could have easily do so in your own district?" Councilman Achers asked.

"My family owned a bakery in District 10. I joined the rebellion and when I returned home I found that my father had sold the business," Alec explained. "The new owner refused to give me a job so I thought that I could apply at 12 and have a new start."

"We believe that everyone has the right to a new start, Mr. Baylor that is why your application is under consideration." Councilman Achers revealed. "Mr. Mellark?"

Peeta stood up and all eyes turned to him. "Yes, sir," he answered. I noticed that Katniss held onto his hand.

"It says here that your former employment was your family bakery," Councilman Achers said. "I feel that the council needs clarification upon making a decision."

I watched as Peeta's shoulder stiffened and spine straightened. Katniss and Johanna sat at the edge of their seat. "We are aware that you were hospitalized for several months after the rebellion. Can you tell us what was the nature of your injury? What caused you to be hospitalized for that long duration?" The entire assembly grew quiet. Not all of Panem believed in Peeta's abuse and torture from the Capitol. Many believed it was a ruse or ploy to cover his betrayal and traitorous behavior against the Districts. It was a mental scar that would never heal or be forgotten.

Peeta glared at the council for a few second then took a deep breath. "I don't see how that is relevant to my application, sir," Peeta stated in firm tone as he pulled his hand away from Katniss and crossed them across his chest. His feet spread apart as a stance of defiance. He held his head upward. Peeta is not a tall young man, but his stature and presence loomed over people. He exuded arrogance and confidence. It was a trait that contradicted his gentle nature.

"Your state of mind is relevant to us," Councilman Achers shot back. "Owning a business is a serious endeavor. How can someone as young as you be responsible for owning such a business."

"I am…was a baker's son" Peeta said as his voice wavered for a moment. He cleared this throat and continued with a confident air about him. "I was 8 years old when I frosted my first cupcake. When I was 10, every morning starting at 4 am, I was at my father's side working at our family bakery. The bakery was established in District 12 and was handed down from four generations of Mellarks. My father, James Mellark gave me the responsibility of being the main designer in our bakery when I was only 12 years old. I know what entails in owning a business, sir." Being born a merchant, I had assumed that Peeta's life was free and easy. Little did I know that hardship was instilled in his young life. "I think that my experience should be a factor to your decision, not my age."

"You still have not answered my question," Councilman Achers inquired. It was obvious that he was needling him.

"And he has every right not to," Johanna added. Her voice boomed a like a cannon from the arena.

"Silence. We will not tolerate any disorder or you will be escorted out of this facility if such behavior is continued," Councilman Achers instructed as he glared at Johanna. Hence, this explained the appearance of the Guardsmen.

"My condition or injuries sustained during the rebellion is confidential and your inquiry is an invasion of privacy," Peeta stated.

"But for the safety of District 12, I have the right to inquire whether you are mentally competent to own a business Mr. Mellark," Councilman Achers asked in smug manner.

"I agree with you, sir," Peeta returned. "If that is your real concern, then why have you not asked Mr. Baylor the same question? Why have you not asked if he sustained any injuries during the rebellion and asked if he is mentally stable to own a business?" Checkmate. I smiled so wide I felt muscles on my face I never knew existed.

"All right," Councilman Achers said with a look of disapproval on his face as he turned to Alec Baylor. "Mr. Baylor, were you injured in the rebellion and as such what was the injury?

"I believe sir," Baylor said. "That is an invasion of my privacy as Mr. Mellark stated and is an inappropriate inquire. We should be judged by merit and experience and not by some unfounded fear, town gossip and innuendo, Sir." I turned to peruse at Alec. He appeared to be mid 20's, not much older than Peeta.

"We as the council of District 12, have it in their best interest to provide a safe and prosperous venture to ensure the success of the new township," Achers replied. "It was a legitimate question to ask for anyone applying for any business."

"Asking someone if they have committed a felon is legal," Peeta stated, "but to ask them for their medical history is illegal if it prevents them from starting a new business." The assembly around us looked stunned and irritated at Peeta's comment. "Sir, if what you hold is true and sincere, than I also have the right to have a new start at my own district," Peeta reminded.

"Hear, hear," I bellowed as I stood up. "If may make a suggestion with the approval of the council, of course."

"Please address yourself, Mr…?" Achers asked.

"I am Haymitch Abernathy," I pronounced. "I feel that the only way to resolve this is by having both Mr. Baylor and Mr. Mellark compete in a bake off. They should be judged by their ability as a baker and as the council will decide who is the better baker."

"You're suggesting a baking competition between Mr. Baylor and Mr. Mellark?" Achers reiterated. "It's an intriguing idea." He looked at his peers for their approval. "And when will this competition be held."

"How about during the Remembrance Day?" someone shouted from the assembly.

"That is but a month away, I think you should have it done as soon as possible," I suggested. "Then have the winner bake the winning cake for Remembrance Day."

"Your suggestion has merit, Mr. Abernathy," Achers agreed. "I agree that the new bakery owner should be chosen by their skill and experience."

"May I speak, sir?" Peeta said. "I feel that the day should be renamed. No one in the districts should be compelled to remember the day of the Reaping as Remembrance Day. The connotation is negative and disheartening."

"President Paylor, herself voted for the name of the day," another councilman stated. "It has already been decided."

"She should have consulted the districts before the renaming of worst day of our lives," Peeta said. Many gasped at Peeta's comment. It held a tone of defiance and insubordination.

"And what should she have named the day, young man," Achers sneered.

"It should be renamed as Children's Day," Peeta answered. "Every child on that day should be celebrated for surviving the Reaping. Every child should be pardoned from school and celebrate with their family and friends for being alive. To celebrate the long life they are given through the sacrifice of thousands before them. It is a day to be never forgotten and a day of honor for the dead. Their lives should be celebrated not memorialized by the Capitol. They hold no true understanding of the suffering and devastation of being ripped from their families, paraded like cattle and slaughtered like animals." Damn, Peeta. _'You should be a politician,'_ my mind formed. "I want to remember that day in honor of the children who died for us. It should be not be a day of sorrow but of celebration and gratitude."

"That is irrelevant. If feel strongly about it, you should speak to President Paylor yourself," Achers commented. "We must stick to the business on hand."

"That day is our business. And I will speak to President Paylor," Peeta returned.

"As for Mr. Abernathy's suggestion for a baking competition, I believe that the council should take a vote," Achers added. "All in favor for the competition between Mr. Baylor and Mr. Mellark say 'aye'."

All six voted in agreement. "So be it," Achers said. "I hereby approve that a baking competition will be held between Mr. Alec Baylor and Mr. Peeta Mellark. You both shall…present a…" He turned to his peers who whispered amongst themselves. "You both shall bake a sample of a cake that will be presented at the Day of Remembrance. You have three days to complete this competition and present it to the council at noon. A vote shall take place to decide the ownership of the new bakery for District 12. If there is no other agenda to be discussed I hereby adjourn this meeting."

No one responded and the meeting was adjourned. I sighed in relief and vexation. "I need a drink," I muttered as I unbuttoned my shirt from my neck.

"Me too, Haymitch," Johanna agreed. "That was boring as hell." I turned to Peeta who stood in complete silence as the assembly room emptied.

"Peeta, are you okay?" I asked. Shit, I never asked Peeta if he agreed to the competition.

"I have 3 days to bake a cake for the council," he said wide-eyed. "What if I can't?"

"Peeta, you made Tamryn's cake months ago," Katniss said. "And it was perfection. You'll be fine."

"That was just a simple cake for a 7 year old girl," Peeta retorted. I sensed panic and fear from Peeta. He was white as a sheet.

"Peeta, you've been baking for some time now," I reminded.

"Bread. I've been baking bread. Cheese buns for Katniss," Peeta said. "This is different.

This is for my livelihood. There is more at stake. My family's name is at stake. What if…I poison everyone?" He bent over to catch his breath.

"You're not going to poison anyone," Johanna said. "If you want I'll help you. We all will help you. Make sure that you won't do anything stupid." She placed a hand on his head ruffling his hair. He stood upright. Katniss placed herself in front of him and held his face between her hands.

"You'll be fine, Peeta. You need to do this for all of District 12. They need to know that Peeta Mellark the baker is back. Remember what Thom said. This is your legacy. Your father would want you to do this. For them, for yourself." Katniss pulled him aside as she took him in her arms and whispered in his ears. They were in a world by themselves.

"What do you think?" I asked as I turned to Johanna. "He's not taking this very well. Do you think he'll have a meltdown? I never would have suggested this if I knew he would react this way."

"Peeta's a lot stronger than you realize," Johanna replied. "Besides, he's got Katniss to watch over him." We both turned to the Star Crossed Lovers. "He'll be fine."

* * *

**Peeta POV – **

My hands shook as the realization hit me. I woke up feeling a hundred tracker jackers surrounding me that I snuck out leaving Katniss alone in my bed. Darkness enveloped me as I sat staring out of my window. I'm plagued with anticipation and anxiety. Can I gather enough strength to do what must be done? Do I want to? The Bakery. It has been in the forefront of my mind since I had accepted the challenge. Can I move forward in a business that will forever haunt me with memories of my family who are lost to me? I envisioned my father as he stood beside me as I completed my first successful batch of bread. He was a man of few words, but a moment of his smile was my reward. Could I do this without him? I knew what I must do but fear paralyzed me. I am so absorbed with my thoughts that I did hear Katniss entered the room.

"Peeta, why are you not in bed?" she asked as she approached me. A look of worry was etched on her face. Her hair was cascading on her shoulders. She wore a t-shirt and shorts revealing her long legs. I turned to hide the blush on my cheeks hoping that the air would cool my heated skin.

"I woke up suddenly and couldn't go bake to sleep," I explained. She sat next to me.

"Are you thinking about the baking competition?" she asked. I nodded since words stuck to my throat. "Peeta, you can do this."

"I'm…scared. I don't know how I can go on without my family," I whispered. "I miss my dad. Opening a bakery without him seems wrong…like it's my fault that they're not here."

"Don't think like that," she berated. "If it's anyone fault, it's mine. If I hadn't shattered the force field, your family would still be alive." It was the shot that echoed throughout Panem but it was also the beginning of our independence.

"No Katniss," I said. "It's not your fault. I blame Snow. He took so much from us. You didn't order the bombs to be dropped in District 12."

"And it not's yours either," she added. "What do you think you're father would say to you right now? What would he say to you about the bakery?" My mind spun at the question when a thought struck me.

"There is something I need to do," I said. "Will you help me, Katniss?"

"Of course, Peeta. Whatever you want," she acquiesced.

"Okay, I need a favor but first you must promise one thing," I demanded. "You must do what I tell you, no matter what happens you must swear to me that you will do as I ask."

She hesitated for a moment. "I will, Peeta," she acceded.

"Promise me," I demanded as I looked into her eyes. Her gray eyes penetrated mine. "Swear it on Prim's soul. I won't let you come with me unless you swear it."

She gulped. "I swear Peeta," she said. "I promise."

Twenty minutes later, we are out of the house walking towards town. It is close to sunrise and the air is cool and crisp, but I felt a sheen of sweat bead my forehead. Katniss is besides me with her bow as I am equipped with wooden staff. The thought of carrying a knife with Katniss accompanying me scared me. If I am to have an episode I want to make sure that she is equipped to protect herself from me. The new buildings and shops appeared before us. Without the townspeople milling about it made the town looked desolate and deserted. My heart felt heavy as I tried to calm my breathing. Each step I took elevated my anxiety and fear. My pace decelerated as I approached our destination. I scouted the area and realized that I am standing what used to be the location of my family's bakery. The area has been cleared and what is left is nothing but dirt and debris. In my mind's eye, I can see the bakery as if it was still there.

Katniss stood back as I walked to the center of what would have been the kitchen. All of a sudden I am bombarded with memories of my family. My father is removing a large batch of pastries from the oven as my brothers load grain and flour into the storage room. I sobbed in sorrow and pain as the visions assaulted me. I turned when I felt the sun breach the horizon hitting my face. The glare from the sun blinded me that I have to close my eyes. I can hear Katniss' feint voice from behind me. Seconds later, I opened my eyes and I'm suddenly standing in the middle of the bakery. The store appeared as though it has not been touch by the bombs. I don't know if I'm having a delusion or I have finally lost my mind from grief and guilt.

"Hello, son," my father's voice surprised me. I turned to my left to find him standing before me. He's wearing a white collared shirt and dark brown pants. His usual attire whenever he worked at the bakery minus an apron. He had a huge smile on his face. My mind was filled with joy at the sight of him. I looked into his blue eyes, which reflected back to mine.

"Dad," I sobbed.

"Hello, Peeta," he returned. I am stunned that I hugged my arms around me to prevent myself from collapsing on the ground. "It's good to see you."

"Where am I?" I asked as tears run down my cheeks unchecked. "How… you be…here? You're dead. You died when…I miss you so much."

"We all miss you Peet," he answered. "You're mother, your brothers and I, we miss you too."

"I wish I died with you." I sobbed. "I should have died with you."

"No, Peeta," he said.

"You survived the Reapings just so you can be murdered by Snow," I yelled, "You deserve to live your life…not murdered in a senseless manner."

"We all have to make sacrifices for the people we love," he said. "I know that I had failed you as a father."

"You didn't," I insisted. "You loved me. I couldn't ask for a better father than you, Dad."

"You're a good boy, Peeta," he said. "A better son than I deserved." He paused. "There is so much I want to say but there so little time."

"I can't remember you guys…what is real," I said. "Who I am and the life I had before the games. Everything hurts, my head, my heart. I feel so alone."

"You're not alone, Peeta," he replied. "You're never alone. We are here." He pointed to his chest and head. "We are with you always. I love you, son. Just remember that." He turned to leave.

"Please don't leave me, Dad," I wailed. "I don't know how to go on without you."

"You've always been strong and independent, Peeta" he said. "Among all my sons, I knew that you were the best of them. And despite the way you grew up, you were always the kindest boy I have ever known. I'm so proud of you."

"I'm not the same…I'm damaged and broken," I cried. "I am a shadow of who I used to be."

"You are no longer the boy you used to be," he said. You have grown up to be a man that any father would be proud to have. In truth, I am only half the man you've become. You're heart is your greatest strength. Don't let anyone or anything take that from you." He started to fade into the light. "You still have a lot to do and a lot to live for. Don't waste anymore time."

"Please don't go, Dad," I yelled as his image disappeared. "I'll never forget you. Good-bye, Dad. I love you."

"Be in peace, Peeta. Let go and love will find you," he said. "When the time comes, we all will be waiting for you." I dropped to my knees and closed my eyes. The feeling of loss and grief radiated from my chest. It felt like I was being abandoned all over again. From the recesses of my mind, I heard the words, _'I love you, I love you.'_ The next thing I knew I am lying down on the ground with my head on Katniss' lap. There is evidence of tears on her rosy cheeks and a frightened look on her face.

"Peeta, thank God, you're all right," she wailed as she grabbed my head and clutched it to her chest. "You scared me."

"What happened?" I asked as she released me. "Why am I on the ground?"

"You were standing there for a moment when you just suddenly collapsed," she explained. I braced myself with hands and stood up. "We need to get you to a hospital. You might have a concussion." She stood up and searched my head for any signs of injury.

"I'm fine, Katniss," I assured her. "How long was I out?" I looked up to see the sun rising from the horizon.

"A few minutes," she said as she wrapped her strong arms around my waist. "I'm so glad you're okay. You really scared me when you fainted. Don't scare me like that again." She trembled for a second. "We should go have your head checked just in case. You hit the ground pretty hard."

"I'm okay, Katniss,' I reassured her. The thought of returning to the hospital didn't appeal to me.

"You want to tell me what happened?" she said she pulled away from me.

"I'm not sure I should," I said. Uneasiness crept on my belly.

"You know you can tell me anything, Peeta," she pressed.

"I know, I just…" I said as I looked around us. "I don't want you think to think that I'm crazy or lost my mind."

"What is it, Peeta?" she asked. She reached down and grabbed my shaking hands.

"I saw my dad," I sighed. "For a moment I think I saw my father here inside the bakery. Crazy, right?"

She looked at me for second. "What did he say to you?" she asked.

"Um…he said that he missed me…and that he was proud of me," I choked. "I miss him so much."

"It's all right to miss him," she added. "I miss my Dad too. All the time."

"So you think I'm not crazy," I said with trepidation. Katniss shook her head.

"I think we should get you head check anyway," she instructed. "I don't want to take any chances." She waited for a response. "Please, do this for me." I weakened at her plea. No matter what memories I had of us together whether they were false or true, I didn't have the power to resist her.

"Okay," I agreed. Instead of taking my hand, she wrapped her arm around my waist and led us towards the Med Center. A few yards away I took one last look at the area of the bakery. I knew what I must do. There is one thing that will help me take back what I lost; I must reclaim ownership of the bakery and continue my legacy in honor of my family.

* * *

**Katniss POV –**

My conversation with Greasy Sae stuck in my mind for days. Peeta and I walked through town with my arm around him with a purpose of showing my devotion and affection for him. However, when we set foot in the emergency room that irritating woman was back to flirting and ogling at Peeta. I tried not to let my anger and jealousy get the best of me. I cannot believe that this woman had the audacity to flirt with him while I'm sitting beside him. I gazed back at Peeta who was in complete ignorance of her obvious flirtation. I continued my death glare at the woman when Delly appeared before us in a frantic state.

"Katniss, Peeta, what's going on?" she asked in panicked tone as she approached us.

"We went to visit the old bakery site. He was just standing there when he fainted. I want you to take a look at him," I said.

"Do you know what caused you to faint?" Delly asked him. Peeta shook his head as Delly looked into his eyes.

"I couldn't wake him for a couple of minutes," I said. "He hit his head on the floor."

"I just fell, Delly," Peeta added. "It wasn't anything serious. Katniss is making a big deal out of nothing."

"Nonsense," Delly reprimanded. "A head injury is serious, Peeta. I'm glad Katniss made you come over. Come on, let's go to one of the rooms and have one of the doctors check you out."

Half an hour later after a head scan and an examination, the head physician cleared Peeta to return home. Delly joined us as he changed back to his clothes. "There is no sign of head trauma, but there is a large bruise on the back of the head from the fall." Delly explained to me and turned to Peeta. "You really need to stop getting hurt, Peeta,"

"Hey, it's not like I'm doing it on purpose, Delly," he hissed as he appeared from behind a dressing room screen.

"Katniss, please make sure that he takes it easy," she instructed. "I don't want to have another heart attack when I heard that he was in the emergency room."

"I'll make sure, Delly," I said.

"I can take care of myself, you know." Peeta huffed. "And I'm here still here in front of you two treating me like I'm four years old."

"And you were the cutest four year old I ever met," Delly teased as she pinched his cheeks. I envisioned four-year old Peeta with his curly blond hair and rosy cheeks having a temper tantrum. He must have been adorable.

"I'm outta here. Women," he exhaled as he headed out the door.

"You love the attention. Just admit it," she cackled then turned to me. "It's good that you were out there within him. I know how difficult it must have been for him. He never talks about his family."

"He really scared me, Delly," I admitted. When he fainted my heart stopped. I was so scared that I confessed that I loved him and begged him not to leave me. My chest ached at the memory of him lying on the ground, unconscious. "It was so sudden I thought he was shot or his heart stopped." In my nightmares I relived the moment when Peeta hit the force field during the Quarter Quell. Finnick couldn't revive him and he died in my arms. It was a memory I could never forget.

"He's all right, Katniss," Delly said in a soothing manner. "The stress of being at his family bakery must have overwhelmed him."

"Sometimes, I wish that I could keep somewhere safe where no one and nothing could ever hurt him again," I sighed.

"As long as he's with you, he's going to be okay,' she said. "Now, go. Make sure he doesn't get into anymore trouble." I gave her a quick hug and ran after my Boy with the Bread.

As I returned to the emergency room, I am stunned to find 'ogling woman' talking to Peeta. Not only was she talking to him she had a hand on his forearm. "…so Peeta, if you ever need anything or any assistance I'll be glad to help out," she purred as she wrote out her number on his arm. "This way you can't lose my number." My eyes narrowed as I recognized her. She was the same woman that spied on us during the whipping; the same trollop that tried to get his attention during the council meeting. I looked at Peeta who had a dazed look on his face. My anger and jealous surfaced that I snatched him by the arm away from the succubus who was making a move on him.

"Come on Peeta, it's time to go home," I seethed as I led him out of the Med Center.

"Katniss, slow down," he yelped. "What's are you doing?" My hand gripped his wrist so he couldn't escape me.

"We're going home, Peeta and I don't want to hear another word from you," I said with authority and possessiveness. Everyone looked at us with amusement and surprise. I made certain that as I dragged him through town that I am an equal partner of our relationship. If anyone was abusing anyone, it was me not kind hearted Peeta. As we neared the Victor's Village, Peeta tugged me to stop releasing my grip from him.

"Stop, just slow down damnit," Peeta hollered. "Why are you mad?"

"You're kidding, right?" I spewed. I couldn't think straight; my jealousy and insecurity clouded my brain of any rationale. That woman touched Peeta. She touched his arm.

"I don't know what's your problem," he hissed. "I didn't do anything wrong. Why are you mad at me?"

"That's your problem, you didn't do anything," I yelled at him. His eyes grew wide.

"She was touching you." I yanked his arm and looked at the number. "You let her write her number on your arm."

"She grabbed me," he yelled back and pulled away from me. "I was too shocked to react. I didn't know she was going to do that." I blinked at few times to clear my mind. "I thought I was having a flashback. I don't like people grabbing me like that. I just froze." His wristband was turning yellow and I was so consumed with jealousy that it never crossed my mind that he was having panic attack. My anger diminished when I noticed sweat on his forehead and his hands were trembling. He was chanting to himself _'Breath, don't get mad. Breath, breath.'_

"You have no right to be angry with me. I didn't do anything wrong," he said as took deep breaths to calm himself.

He was right. It wasn't as if he was flirting back. He looked embarrassed and surprised as she wrote her number on his arm. "I'm sorry, Peeta," I apologized as I took a step forward. He stepped back. "I don't like other wom…people touching you."

"I didn't ask for it," he sighed. "I want to go home." He walked passed me and my stomach plummeted.

"I'm sorry, Peeta," I repented as I walked beside him. He was quiet and unresponsive. I felt scared and angry with myself. I didn't like the feeling of 'that woman' flirting with him. She was everything I wasn't. An epitome of a perfect woman. She was beautiful, unscarred from the war and desirable. She was the type that could get any man she wanted and she wanted my Peeta. I tallied her assets against mine and I came up unmatched in every way. My throat tightened as tears threaten to spill from my eyes.

"Just forget it," he said and turned to look at me. He extended his hand to me, waiting for me to take it. "She doesn't matter, okay? Let's just go home." I grabbed his hand and smiled at him. I'm unaccustomed to sharing Peeta with anyone. Before the rebellion, he had made it clear to me and to everyone that I owned his heart. I was too scared to claim his as mine. Now he's too weary to reclaim what is rightfully his. I have a lot of work cut out for me and no woman or man is going to take him from me. I'm so absorbed with my thoughts that I didn't catch what Peeta was saying to me.

"I'm not sure what flavor I should use for the cake," he babbled. "I don't think I have enough chocolate for what I have in mind. Do you think that I can order some to be delivered overnight?"

"Chocolate, you're thinking of making chocolate cake for the competition?" I said. My mouth watered at the idea. Chocolate was a delicacy only known to the Capitol. Now you had access to the ingredient albeit you had the money to buy it.

"Yeah, I mean. You like chocolate, right?" he wondered. My heart melted and my knees wobbled, but he rattled on ignorant of my reaction. "I was thinking of a two layer cake with a chocolate ganache and vanilla bean cream." It sounded delicious and decadent.

"That sounds wonderful," I gushed. "There is no is no way you can lose if you make that."

"Really? You think I have a chance?" he asked. He had a smile on his face that reminded me of the boy before the games. His eyes twinkled and a big toothy grin.

"Peeta, I have no doubt that you got this." I encouraged.

"I don't know. It's been so long since I made anything that elaborate," he sighed as his smile faded. "The last time I baked a cake that fancy was at Finnick and Annie's wedding." I remembered that cake. It was the first sign that the Peeta I knew was returning. By then, I was in the middle of a war and the thought of him scared me. I was certain that he was gone forever. I should have known that Peeta was slowly returning to his old self. I just didn't want to believe it. It was too much to hope for. "I don't even remember how I did it. What if I mess up?"

"You won't Peeta?" I reassured him. "This is what you were born to do. Snow and the Capitol could never take that away from you." I needed him to do this. Baking and owning the bakery is the first step on focusing in his future. Just as visiting the woods was a step for me. Peeta continued to discuss his plans for the cake. There is a look in his eyes I haven't seen in long time. I felt hope and optimism for the first time since returning to 12.

* * *

_**Thank you for reading this chapter. Have a great week.**_


	14. Chapter 14 - Halfway There

Chapter 14 – Halfway There

_**AN: Thank you readers for continuing to read my fic. I will endeavor to keep you guys entertained and hopefully not too bored. Any mistakes found are mine. All rights belong to Suzanne Collins.**_

* * *

**Delly POV –**

I closed the door behind me making sure that the door was secured as I left Peeta inside. He usually has his session over the phone but Dr. Aurelius wanted to see any physical progress he had made for the past couple of months. He is still underweight for someone his height and would need to bulk up when he starts working at his bakery. When Dr. Aurelius suggested using the monitor Peeta flipped. He refused to reconnect the one in his house so Aurelius demanded that he used mine. If Peeta didn't agree, he would have him come to the Capitol. His sessions were part of the deal of him returning to 12. To my surprise Peeta had called Dr. Aurelius even though this was not one of his scheduled sessions. Johanna or I always made it a point to stick around whenever he had a session with Dr. Aurelius. But lately, he seemed to recover well after talking to him. Johanna left this morning to scout the facility that is being used for the baking venue. She made sure the place was safe while Haymitch made arrangements to complete the list of supplies and equipment that Peeta requested for the competition.

I was on my way to Peeta's house when I encountered Katniss on her way to his home. I have yet to ask why doesn't she just move in with him since she's been 'sleeping' with him almost every night. The arrangement didn't surprise me since it's what they did during the Victory Tour. The fact that they continued with their ritual without discussing the nature of their relation had me flabbergasted. I don't blame Peeta for his hesitation. For years I've watched him pine over her. And to discover that the girl of his dreams lied and pretended to have feeling for him during the first arena, that's hurt. I would know. Yet Peeta's affections remained strong despite his hijacked mind.

"He's not home," I said. "Peeta is having a session at my house. I left to give him some privacy."

"Oh," Katniss responded. "Do you know how long that's going to be?" I noticed that Katniss made an effort of dressing for Peeta. When she visited the woods she wore her typical pants, boots and long sleeve shirt. Today, she wore a dark blue dress and knee-high boots. Her hair was braided and she wore no makeup. Not that it mattered to Peeta.

"Depends," I answered. "It's usually 45 minutes, give or take. Just depends on what they're talking about and how he's responding." She's about to leave when I made a suggestion. "Why don't you keep me company? Then, we'll go see him together when it's over." She nodded her head as I opened Peeta's door and walked in. "Make yourself at home while I brew us some tea." Ten minutes later, I'm seated having my tea when I noticed Katniss' odd behavior. She fidgeted at her seat and kept looking at the door as if she expected to see him walk in. I realized that she was worried about him alone at my home.

"He's fine, Katniss," I assured her.

"He's alone in the house with no one to watch him," she said. "I didn't realize that he had a session this morning."

"He didn't," I added. "He actually called Dr. Aurelius on his own. I think that the bakery incident and competition is stressing him."

"Does he still have his sessions weekly?" she asked as she sipped her tea.

"Actually, he's only having them twice a month now," I admitted. "You know, instead of once a week."

"So he's getting better?" she inquired.

"Yeah, now that he's no longer having 3-4 episodes a week," I confessed. Katniss gasped in surprised. "Oh, you didn't know. He had that many, but now not so much."

"I didn't realize that…" she whispered.

"Peeta is really good at hiding them, well not exactly hiding them, but controlling them," I said.

"Are they bad?" she asked. "No one will tell me. And I don't want to ask Peeta."

"They were pretty bad at first," I said. "He would pull at his hair or hit something, like a wall. Throw stuff." I paused at shuddered at the memories of his destructive behavior. "Now he just gets really quiet and kind of falls into a trance. If it's really bad, his wristband usually knocks him out before he really hurts him self."

"I wish there is something I can do for him," she said as tears brim her eyes.

"You can," I encouraged. "You're already doing it by being with him." I took her hand in mine. "I really want to thank you for helping him yesterday. Going to the bakery, the site where his family was killed. It must have been really difficult for him. You being there, I don't think you know how much it means to him."

"I just want to do more for him," she said as she shifted in her seat looking past the window towards my home. "Are you sure he's okay by himself?"

I nodded my head. "He'll be fine," I said. "Besides, I think he needs to have some time alone. Us, hovering all the time makes him agitated." She doesn't look convinced. "Listen, in 35 minutes, we can go other there as soon as his session is over, okay?" She nodded her head as she fidgeted with her hands. Katniss opened her mouth then shut it closed. She took a deep breath to compose her self.

"Delly, there's something I wanted to ask you," she questioned, "and I don't want to seem like I'm invading Peeta's privacy. But, I just need to know if I should be concerned about something."

"You can ask me anything," I encouraged.

"Yesterday, there was a woman in the Med Center," she said, "She works there. Tall, dark hair with green eyes. I've seen her a couple of times in town."

"Oh, I see you met Peeta's admirer, Eva Perry," I interjected.

"So you know about her?" she said. I nodded my head. "How long has she been there?"

"A few months," I said.

"Has Peeta ever mentioned her to you?" she asked. Then, it hit me. She was jealous of some woman paying attention to Peeta. Everyone knew of Eva's flirtation with Peeta. She made it known that she was enamored with him.

"Katniss, you have nothing to worry about. Peeta is not interested in her," I reassured her. "I don't even think he notices."

"Oh, I doubt that," Katniss snickered. My brows lifted. "She made her self quite known yesterday."

"Oh, what happened?" I asked. Eva arrived at 12 a couple of weeks after my arrival. Her flirtations and not so subtle attempts to get his attention were harmless. Actually, it's quite amusing and entertaining since Peeta didn't acknowledge any of it. But the more Peeta ignored her, the harder she tried.

"After he left from his examination, she approached him and wrote her number on his arm," she hissed in revulsion.

I laughed. Katniss wasn't amused. "How did Peeta take it?" I guffawed. "I bet he was mortified." I can imagine Peeta's horrified expression since Eva was ten years his senior. Not that there is anything wrong with the age difference. She really is quite a beauty with long flowing dark brown hair, pale skin, full lips and green eyes. Her tall stature and perfect figure made her the catch of District 12. She caught every man's eye whether they are single or married. Everyone's attention except Peeta's. I know that Peeta has only eyes for Katniss even if he is in denial.

"He was startled," she said. "He thought he was going to have an episode because she grabbed him unexpectedly. And to make matters worse, I got really upset with him."

My amusement faded. "You didn't have a fight over Eva, did you?" I asked.

"Kinda of," she said in a sheepish manner. "I was so mad that I took it out on him. I didn't meant to yell at him, but she was touching him and all I saw was red."

"Oh," I said. I didn't really have anything to say. It didn't seem like Eva mattered since I knew and have known how Peeta felt about Katniss. No amount of hijacking or tracker venom could erase his feelings for her. I've known that for a fact.

"He was upset with me," she sighed. "For being mad at him when I was really mad at her. It was a mess." I smiled at her. She scowled back at me. "It's not funny. He yelled at me and told me that I shouldn't be mad at him when he did nothing wrong. And he's right, he didn't do anything wrong. I just wanted to wring that woman's neck for touching him and leaving her number on his arm." Her eyes narrowed. "And she did it right in from of me."

"Oh, I see," I added. "When I changed his bandages this morning, I asked him who's number that was and he got really upset. I didn't want to made a big deal out of it if it just upsets him by bringing it up."

"I made a fool out of myself," she whined. "I shouldn't have yelled at him, but Peeta being Peeta just shook it off."

"He can never be mad at you, you know." I said. "He still loves you no matter what."

"I doubt it," she said as her eyes watered for a moment.

"Oh, Katniss, you really have no idea how much Peeta loves you," I sighed. These two are just hopeless.

"He may have before the Quarter Quell," she exhaled, "but since Snow captured and hijacked his mind, I don't think he does anymore."

"You don't see it, do you?" I said. "The way he still looks at you when you're not looking at him. The way he wants to reach out and touch you like as if his life depends on it."

"The old Peeta did," she said. "I know it's not his fault that he doesn't feel the same way about me. I can see it when we're together. He's civil and polite. I may be sharing his bed but it isn't the same. He loved me then, but not now. Now its about support or comfort."

"Do you honestly believe that Peeta would be letting you in his bed if he didn't have some feelings towards you?" I asked. "Katniss, Johanna and I have never shared his bed for support or comfort."

"Maybe he just feels sorry for me, but I doubt it has anything to do with love," she said. "I lost him now that I know that I…"

"That you love him, really love him the way he loved you from afar," I added. She nodded her head and sobbed. For years I have felt envy and resentment over Peeta's feeling for Katniss. She was my rival for my affections for him; it was time I confessed the truth I had kept to myself. "I'm going to tell you something. Something that has to be kept between the two of us. You can't tell Peeta. Or Bron."

I waited for her to agree as she wiped her eyes. "I love Peeta, I have since we were 10 years old." Her eyes grew wide. "I know for a fact that he loves you and will always love you regardless of how he's acting." I thought of the day my heart broke for the final time when the realization came to me that he would always be in love with Katniss Everdeen.

* * *

_**Flashback, month's prior before Peeta returned home – **_

_I was livid. For weeks Johanna and Peeta would sneak up to the roof at night. I was okay with the arrangement since I knew that it was helping their recovery. After being imprisoned for months in a white cell it would cause anyone to hyperventilate and be claustrophobic. The freedom they felt to escape was necessary for their state of mind even if it meant staying outdoors on a roof. At least I knew where they were and they were safe. But this last escapade had me fuming with anger and fear. They have been missing for the last two days. When they didn't appear for the first meal I knew something was wrong. For hours I fretted and made myself sick with worry. What if he's out there having an episode? What if they both are triggered at the same time? I had visions of them hurting themselves. My mind spun with horrifying scenarios that affected my performance at work. Nurse Seaver reprimanded me a couple of times for my lack of attention and state of distraction. Hours later, Dr. Aurelius reported that they were found and were being escorted back to the hospital. I sighed in relief for their discovery and their return. Then my relief turned to anger when I was informed that they were found at a well-known brothel in the center of the Capitol called, "The Celestial." It was resident established by a Victor in defiance from Snow after the 40__th__ Hunger Games. The Celestial was a place for Victors who sought haven with other Victors. It was built when one overzealous Capitolite strangled a Victor at his home. He was only 14 years old. The Victors revolted and refused to enter another Capitolite's home fearing for their lives. So all the Victor's pool their resources together and had The Celestial built. So whenever they were called to 'entertain' Snow's customers the transaction was done in a facility where the Victor's safety was guaranteed._

_I was shocked and horrified that Peeta was there with Johanna. I wasn't disturbed by the fact that she knew the place existed but that she took him there. After the war, Bron had told me horrifying stories of what all the Victors lived through under Snow's reign. How he sold them to the highest bidder against their will. If you defied Snow your family paid with their lives for your resistance. Death was the penalty. Peeta and Katniss were saved from that fate due to their Star Crossed Lovers status. I didn't realize that there was a cost to surviving the games. Being a Victor made you a property of Snow and the Capitolites. I shuddered at the thought of what kind of life they would have had if they didn't have each other. _

_Now The Celestial is known for entertaining Capitolites who would pay to live out their fantasies. It was high end, expensive and exclusive._

_Upon their arrival, two burly hospital security guards flanked them. Johanna had a smirk on her face while Peeta remained silent as Dr. Aurelius berated them for endangering their lives and those around them. Peeta was escorted to his room as he conversed with Johanna. They were separated and led to their room to be sequestered and denied privileges. A day later, I walked into Johanna's room first to confront her._

"_What were you thinking by running off like that?" I yelled at her. "Peeta could have gotten hurt or worse he could have hurt someone. He's not ready to face the public and of all the places to take him, you took him to The Celestial. Are you out of your damn mind?"_

"_He's fine, Delly," she said. "And I was with him at all times."_

"_That's not the point," I roared. "What were you thinking sneaking off and taking him to that place?"_

"_I wanted to do something special for his birthday," she said in a calm manner. "Give the kid a break." I gasped in horror and frustration. I had forgotten that his birthday was coming up. "He's a healthy young man that needs to be introduced to the…"_

"_I don't want to hear it," I screamed. My mind spun at the idea of Peeta in that place with those types of women doing who knows what to him. "All he ever wanted was Katniss. How could you…"_

"_Well, she's not here, is she?" Johanna spewed. "And from what I can tell it's not like she ever wanted him. So what's the big deal?" My knees trembled. "Listen, Delly, I know you don't understand, but I think it was good for him. I mean, he was fine when we left and we were on the way when the guards found us." She had a serious look on her face like she knew but wasn't about to tell me what happened in there. "If it makes you feel better, I told Dr. Aurelius everything that happened and he was actually supportive and encouraged it."_

"_You got to be kidding me," I gasped._

"_Please believe me that I did this in his best interest," she said. "If you don't believe me ask Peeta." I stood up and went straight to his room to find 2 security guards hovering by his door. I wasn't allowed any visitation for a week. By then, I calmed down enough to speak to him without wanting to shake him. I entered his room to find his back towards me. He was hunched over his table. I pressed forward to discover him deep in concentration of a drawing. I thought he was drawing again. My surprised gasp startled him._

"_Hey, Delly," he said as he looked up. On the table were several sketches he drew when he first started his sessions. They were drawing of Mutt Katniss killing his family._

"_Peeta, why are you looking at those?" I screamed at him. _

_He looked down in shame "Uh…I asked Dr. Aurelius if could see them." he said._

"_Why would you?" I asked him. "These can't be good for your recovery."_

"_I needed to see if…I could face them," he confessed, "I needed to know that I could confront my past. I needed undeniable proof that I'm this is who I am."_

"_Peeta no amount of pictures can determine who you are," I argued. "It's just a part of who you are. It's not all of you."_

"_But it's still a part of me now," he said. "A part that will never recover from my torture."_

"_No, you will get better. You just need time," I encouraged._

_After his abuse from the Capitol, he persisted that he would never draw again and that he could never be the same to pick up a pencil or paintbrush. When he did draw for the first time, they were horrifying images of Mutt Katniss. When Aurelius confronted him about the images months later, he was adamant in his decision of never drawing again. Whatever happened during his visit at The Celestial prompted him to confront his drawings. I don't know if I should be grateful or angry. My curiosity got the best of me._

"_You want to tell me what happened at The Celestial?" I asked. He blushed so red I thought he was going to faint._

"_Not really," he said. "Let's just say that I had a revelation on my visit there." I narrowed my eyes. I didn't have the right to invade his privacy. I took a moment to really look at him. Gone was the haunted and angry look he had in his eyes. He was always skittish and nervous whenever he spoke or addressed anyone. Like he was afraid of his own shadow. Now, he seemed calm and at ease with himself. Whatever happened at The Celestial caused a radical change in him. A month later he painted the mural in his room. I couldn't deny that he was recovering well from that infamous visit. _

_In the months during his recovery he never talked about Katniss. If her name was even mentioned he feel into a deep depression. He was no longer anger or hysterical. She was a topic he couldn't face or wanted to confront. I thought that he was really over her. His hijacking finally helped him to get over her. Or so I thought. I was felt relieved and guilty. Guilty because he can move on in his life without Katniss. I thought that this was the chance to help him move on. With me._

_A few days later, while he was in his session with Aurelius, I was cleaning his room when I discovered a drawing pad hidden between the mattresses. I debated as to whether I should tell Dr. Aurelius but thought of Peeta's need for privacy. Do I report this progress to him or give Peet the one thing that was not evaluated or observed? Something that was private for him to have. If he was drawing again I would be elated at his first step to getting better. But I was troubled as to why he hid this from us. No longer able to contain my curiosity I lifted the cover and gasped in surprise. There in the first page was Katniss in the dress she wore at the first reaping. I flipped the next couple of pages and discovered that each drawing was of her. He was drawing a pictorial history of their time together from reaping, to the cave and the beach of in the Quarter Quell. It was as if he was remembering their time together. I knew with certainty and proof that he would never get over her. That even with a hijacked mind and tracker venom in his blood, Katniss was his one true love. He would never get over her. I knew that it was time for me to move on._

* * *

**Present Time – **

I revealed to her my discovery of the drawings but not about his visit at The Celestial. That is a conversation between the two of them to discuss. Months after the incident Peeta confessed to me what he experienced there. It did help him heal but it also added more doubt about him self. His self worth and confidence was damaged.

"So you see, Katniss," I said. "You're it for him. There will never be anyone else but you for him. He may have convinced himself that you never loved him, but he will always love you." She smiled like I never seen before. "What do you want from him?"

"Delly, are you asking me of my intentions?" she asked in surprise.

"I know you care about him," I stated. "You both went through something that no one has ever experienced. No one will ever understand the horror and terror of surviving two games."

"What about Johanna?" she asked. "They seem pretty close." They are close, but not the way she thinks.

"He was tortured and abused like Johanna," I reminded her. "They both have a strong bond to each other because of the experiences they went through together. Love, respect and a friendship grew between them. Nothing more. You shouldn't doubt his love for you. Peeta's love for you is strong, true and so ingrained in him. It's a part of him. You're his everything."

"He's my everything too. I love him," she confessed. "I love him with every fiber of my being. I never knew I could love anyone the way I love him."

"I'm glad," I admitted. "Because if you didn't I would do everything in my power to help him move on. I'll do anything to make him happy even to love him knowing that you will always be first in his heart."

"What about Bron?" she asked. "Aren't you in love with him?"

"Don't get me wrong, I love Bron," I said. "You need to realize that he's my Katniss. He was…my everything." I'm just lucky that I do have Bron in my life. "I'm happy to let Peeta go, knowing that he is loved by someone who loves him in equal measure. And that's you." I felt tears brimming my eyes. I knew that I had to let Peeta go but hearing Katniss tell me she loves him, it dawned on me that I finally lost him to her. For good.

"I love him so much," she said. "For so long, I was afraid to. Now I'm afraid that he doesn't feel the same way." Silly, Katniss. She still had no idea how deep Peeta's love is for her.

"He does, Katniss," I said. "You just need to prove it to him. Make him realize that you are serious. He so convinced that you don't that he's built a wall so high, it seems impenetrable."

"I know," she sighed. "There's this weariness about him, like doesn't trust me. That what I feel for him isn't real. I know that I have to be patient. I mean, he waited 11 years for me. Who loves like that?"

"Peeta, only Peeta," I stated. Suddenly, she launched herself at me. I never knew Katniss to be spontaneous or giddy but she reached over and hugged me.

"Thank you, Delly," she laughed. "Thank you for being there for him when I couldn't. Thank you for taking care of him and being his friend. I promise you that I will do whatever it takes to keep him safe and make him happy."

"Just remember that at times when he's pulling away from you, it's not because he doesn't love you," I advised. "He's pulling away from you because his faith in love is shattered. He doesn't believe that he's good enough for you now. Snow broke him, made him believe that you never loved him and it's going to time for you to convince him that his love is returned." She knew the truth in my words. It would take time for Peeta to be responsive or acceptive of her feelings for him.

"And just one more thing, I need to ask a favor of you," I teased as I waited for her to get her complete and undivided attention. "You let me stand by you on the day of your wedding." We're both laughing and so absorbed with joy and relief that we're startled when Peeta appeared before us.

"Um…you two look like you're busy. So I think I'm going to go out and meet Johanna in town," he uttered as he inched further to the door. His eyes were wide as he pointed his thumb to the door.

"Peeta," I yelped and rushed towards him with Katniss not far behind me. "How was your session?" He had a startled look on his face as he stepped back when we approached him.

"It was okay," he muttered as he eyed us both. "I'm gonna go now." He turned and walked out the door as if the house was on fire. Katniss and I looked at each other and burst out laughing for a second then chased after Peeta.

* * *

**Peeta POV –**

I sighed in relief as I left Delly's home. I was nervous at first since I've been wearing long sleeves for the last few sessions. I didn't want to lie to Dr. Aurelius but if he found out what happened in the woods, he would have been sent back to the Capitol. Who knew how long he would have kept me there. I couldn't stay away and leave everyone behind.

To say I was surprised to find Delly and Katniss laughing hysterically in my living room was an understatement. I never seen Katniss laugh like that before. She had always been beautiful to me in any state. Whether she was laughing, crying or angry. But joy and laughter was the one thing I've hardly experienced with her. She stunned me. Her hair was in a braid. She wore a dress that made her grey eyes sparkle. I walked out my house as fast as I could. The confusion I felt was new to me.

After my session with Dr. Aurelius, I left with a feeling of purpose and clarity. I never had any direction or control in my life but with the prospect of owning the bakery, it was something I knew I was destined to do. I didn't have to reinvent myself. I just had to find the me before the events that altered my life. I had to find Peeta Mellark, the third son of James Mellark, the baker of District 12.

My thoughts were interrupted as Delly and Katniss reached my side. Both flanking me like a protective wall. It was getting ridiculous that I could not leave my home or go anywhere without one of them beside me. The feeling was quite emasculating. I jumped when Katniss reached over and placed her hand on my waist pulling me to her side. It was a possessive gesture, a side of her I'm not accustomed to. I looked over to Delly who tried to hide her smile. I didn't trust the glint her eyes. As we approached the town I noticed that Katniss' embrace tighten around my waist. I turned to see the townspeople were either ignoring us or whispering amongst themselves.

We reached the venue where the baking competition was to be held. The new District 12 school gymnasium was being prepped for the event. It was the only facility that was large enough for the space needed to hold both the event and the crowd that was to be expected to attend. Bron greeted us as he stood with four other Guardsmen guarding the entry to the building. We walked in and I gasped in horror as I found a camera crew setting up for the event. I heard both Katniss' and Delly's cries of anger and surprise. I'm paralyzed by anticipation and fear. The last time I faced a camera was my propo at the Capitol where I was beaten to within an inch of my life.

"What the hell is going on?" Katniss roared in anger. Her voiced carried throughout the facility that it caught Haymitch's attention. He approached us with his hand up in surrender.

"I didn't know this was happening, I swear," he said.

"I thought cameras and the press weren't allowed entry into District 12?" Delly asked.

"It isn't but President Paylor made this an exception. We don't know how the news of the baking competition go out," Haymitch informed us. "Paylor thought it was a good idea to televise the event. She said that this will help Peeta in the long run."

"How?" I asked.

"She said it would help your reputation if Panem saw that you recovered from the war and was back to living a life like a normal citizen," he explained. I knew what reputation and gossip that ran rampant in Panem. I, Peeta Mellark the former lover of Katniss Everdeen had betrayed and deserted her in the Quarter Quell. My interviews with Caesar during the rebellion only solidified the rumor of my abandoning her for a cushy life in the Capitol. I was labeled a traitor.

"I'm not normal," I panted, as my breath grew uneven. "How can she allow this to happen?"

"Peeta, this will help you," Haymitch continued. "Normally, I would give Paylor hell for allowing this, but think about it. Panem will have a chance to see you as Peeta Mellark, the son of a baker, not a former tribute or Victor competing in a baking competition with Katniss by your side."

"Don't involve Katniss is this fiasco," I hissed.

"Peeta," Katniss interjected. "If Haymitch thinks this will help you, I'll stand by you no matter what."

"This is my fight," I said. I inhaled deep breaths to calm me. It wasn't working. I bent down and closed my eyes. "Just give me a minute."

"There shouldn't be any cameras or publicity for this. It's bad enough that this event is being held in front of a large crowd, but to have it televised for all of Panem to see, it's ridiculous." Katniss said to Haymitch as she pointed a finger into his chest. "You need to fix this."

"It's done," Haymitch said. "There isn't anything we can do to stop it. It's not like you've never been in front of a camera before, Peeta."

"I've had enough cameras shoved in my face, Haymitch," I rose up and spit in anger. "Every time I'm in front of camera I was being forced, lied to and manipulated for the enjoyment for the Capitol. How did applying for the bakery end up becoming a national event?"

"You'll see Peeta," Haymitch said. "This will be good for you. Just do what you need to do. Johanna, Bron and I secured the place. You're safe here, I promise nothing will happen."

"And what if I lapse into an episode?" I seethed. My getting an episode was the crux of my concern. "Will you be able to prevent that?" Everyone around stood still and quiet. "Even you can't guarantee that I won't have one right in front of the camera for all of Panem to see." Delly grabbed my wrist to check my band. The display was still green. "I need air."

I walked out the building heading straight back to the Victor's Village. I can hear faint voices of Katniss and Haymitch arguing. My mind is in turmoil as I blindly walked over to my parent's bakery site. Wasn't I just here yesterday having a delusion of speaking to my father? I don't know how long I stood there when Bron appeared right beside me. I stood in reverence to the gravesite where my family was laid to rest. In the place where they worked and loved. I can't account for the times I wished I died with them. Would the ache of loneliness and pain of their loss ever escape me?

"Delly told me your family made the best bread in all of Panem," he said as he broke our silent contemplation. "Those cheese buns you make for Katniss everyday is to die for." He looked at me with a smile on his face.

"It was family recipe that was handed down from four generations of Mellarks," I stated. "When I turned 14, I modified the ingredients without telling my parents. My mom was so angry when she found out. It was the first time she ever hit me with a rolling pin. She didn't apologize even when they sold very fast and people kept asking for them. That was the moment I knew that baking was in my blood and not just an occupation." Bron turned his head looking backwards. There stood Delly, Katniss and Johanna at a distance standing vigil as always.

"All my life, all I wanted was to fall in love with the girl of my dreams and work at my parent's bakery," I confessed. "When I was reaped and found out that Katniss didn't…care for me at all, I knew that dream was over."

"But you survived the war…your torture," Bron continued. "You have a chance to make all your dreams come true."

"I expected to at least get the bakery back," I said as ignored his comment. "Now it looks like I'll lose that too."

"Peeta, you can't give up," Bron said. "If you back down now, Snow will have finally won. You're alive, you lived through…no one will ever know what you lived through. But you're here with us and there's a girl over there reaching out to you. Who loves you. You won, Peeta. Life is about living and fighting for the things you love and deserve."

"I'm tired of fighting," I said.

"Then let us fight with you," he roused. "You're not alone anymore." I looked back to the three most important people in my life. Delly held Katniss' hand as Katniss bite her lower lip, a gesture of nervousness and worry. Johanna had her arms across her chest. Her eyes hard and determine.

All three of them were a representation of my life. Delly reminded me of my past. The life I once had and the family I lost. She anchored and kept me grounded, reminding me where I came from and who I was. Johanna is my present. She gave me strength and the will to fight. We held on to each other through the worst times in our lives. Every hour of every day we fought our memories and struggled to move forward. And Katniss, she was always my unreachable and unattainable dream. And if I let myself, she is my future. A future of friendship, hope and love.

Bron placed a hand on my shoulder and leaned over. "Besides, who else is going to design the cake for my wedding to Delly?" he whispered with a gleam in his eyes. I gasped in surprise.

"Really?" I responded. Bron nodded with a big smile on his face. "When did you...?"

"I haven't asked yet," he interrupted as he snuck a look back at Delly. "I know I don't need your blessing or approval but I wanted tell you anyway. And hopefully if the odds are in my favor, we're going to be brothers some day."

"I'm happy for you," I exalted. "For you and Delly."

"Hold up, it's not a done deal. She might say no," he said.

"Not going to happen, Bron," I reassured him. "Just be sure that you're certain because once your married, you're going to live in a life of pink and pastels colors in every aspect of your life."

"What makes you think I'm not already there?" he snorted. I burst into laughter. The heaviness in my heart lifted. The prospect of making their wedding cake was a future I looked forward to seeing. Maybe I can have my cake and eat it too. My outburst caught the girls in surprise as their worry and fear turned to relief. Not wanting to worry them further, we walked over to them. Delly stood by Bron's side asking what was so funny as Katniss extended her hand to me. I grabbed her hand and tugged to me. She gasped in surprise when I reached over and wrapped my arm around her waist. We walked back to the venue. Bron was right. I had to do this with or without the cameras. I couldn't let Snow win.

* * *

**Katniss POV – **

I don't know what Bron said to Peeta. But whatever he said I am grateful to him since it brought a drastic change in him. Peeta walked back to the venue with his arm around me, a move that I had always initiated. He approached Haymitch and calmly thanked him and Johanna's efforts for securing the venue and proceeded to check his inventory for the competition. We all stood aghast to his turnaround. Delly pestered Bron all night asking him what he said to change Peeta's mind and attitude. He looked at us and said that it was private conversation between Peeta and him. They shared a look with each other as if they held a secret between themselves. I didn't care since the outcome gave Peeta a positive outlook for the baking competition.

Last night, as I waited for him to join me in bed, he exited the bathroom, sat down on the bed and removed his prosthetic leg. He slipped under the covers and turned to me.

"Katniss," he whispered as we looked at each. I felt his breath skim my face.

"Yes," I answered as I held my breath.

"Would you read to me?" he asked. He looked so young and vulnerable. Much like he did before the games and the torture. My heart swelled for a moment. Our usual routine consisted of us turning in together, turning off the lights and gravitating towards the middle of the bed where he would hold me all night until I fell asleep

Surprised but please, I leaned up on the headboard and read to him until he fell fast asleep first. Before his eyes closed he reached over and placed a hand on my upper thigh. The contact sent my nerves tingling to my core. He was so tired that he didn't react when I took his hand into mine and slithered down next to him. I clutched his warm hand to my chest wanting to feel his skin on mine. We both slept throughout the night without a nightmare. I woke up this morning disappointed to find that he had already risen to make a batch of my favorite cheese buns.

Hours later, I stood beside Haymitch waiting for the competition to commence. The building was filled to its capacity that the guardsmen had to turn away several townspeople from the event.

"Where's Peeta?" I asked, my anxiety and fear for him weighing heavily.

"He's changing in one of the small rooms," he answered. "Bron is with him so he's not alone."

A few minutes later, everyone turned to Peeta as he entered the room. He wore a pair of black pants and collared shirt complete with black leather shoes. My heart skipped a beat. He walked straight at us with a blank look on his face. He wore his game face.

"I need a favor from the both of you," he asked, his eyes downcast as he rubbed his head with his right hand.

"Anything, Peeta," Haymitch said. "Whatever you need." I shook my head in agreement.

"Can you two sit somewhere where I can see you?" he requested, his eyes connected with mine. "This almost feels like we're back in the arena and I need to be able to get to you in case something bad happens." He fidgeted with his hands that I reached out to grab them. "I'm going to worry about you both."

"Nothing bad will happened, Peeta." I assured him. "All of us will make sure of it."

"We'll sit wherever you want us to," Haymitch promised. "Won't we, Katniss?"

"It's just, Johanna is at standby with Bron incase you know I…" he said. "And Delly will be assisting me. So at least I know where they will be at all times." One of the stipulations of the competition was that each baker was allowed an assistant and we all agreed that Delly was the perfect choice for two reasons. One, she had worked with Peeta and his family on a few occasion. And Two, she would be monitoring Peeta during the competition.

"Don't worry about us," I said. "We won't go anywhere."

"Yeah, what Katniss said," Haymitch reiterated. "Just kick some butt and win this damn thing already." He reached over and hugged him. Peeta in turn took my hand in his and led me towards a corner of the building away from prying eyes and the camera. He took both hands in mine and looked into my eyes.

"Katniss, I just wanted to say thank you," he blustered.

"No need to thank me, Peeta," I said with all the emotions I could convey. "We protect each other. Always."

"No, you don't understand," he uttered. "I wanted to thank you for saving my life in the arenas. I've never thanked you for all the times you saved me during the rebellion." I opened my mouth to interrupt him when he lifted his hand to stop me. "Please let me say this. Thank you for letting me back into your life. I know that it wasn't easy after I almost…"

"You're life was worth saving, Peeta," I said. "If I had a choice to do all over again, I wouldn't hesitate. Not for a second."

"Still, I feel that my apology was long overdue," he expresssed. "I…thank you, Katniss. Thank you for being here and supporting me, thank you for being my friend even though I know I don't deserve your friendship."

"You're wrong, Peeta," I confessed. "It's I who doesn't deserve it."

"I know that I haven't been easy to be around with, especially with everything that's happened," he said. "But I'll try to be better, I promise." I'm speechless. He pulled me into his arms in a tight hug. My heart swelled with joy and hope. I wanted to stay in his arms forever. I hugged him tighter feeling his solid chest against my breasts. His heart beat in cadence against mine.

However, he reluctantly released me and we walked back hand in hand to have him suddenly pulled me away from crowd, hug me close again while he kissed me on the forehead. I gasped in shock and elation. A flash and a click interrupted our moment. Peeta lowered his head. "Just for luck," he whispered in my ear as he walked over to the main room leaving me awestruck. He winked back at me and hugged Delly on his way back.

I was so stunned that I didn't notice her damn with her camera again. "Delly, what the hell," I hissed.

"You two are just the cutest," she giggled as she escaped from my tirade and followed Peeta.

I sighed in relief since it was just Delly and not some fan or stranger capturing a very private and intimate moment between Peeta and me. I walked back to the main area in a daze. I must have a stupid look on my face as I looked to see Haymitch trying not to laugh at me.

"Don't say a word if you value your life," I threatened as I feel the warmth of blush rising oh my face. His hands went up in surrender. I tried to keep the scowl on my face but couldn't keep it up. The touch of Peeta's lips lingered on my forehead. He looked delicious and edible while waiting for the competition to commence. Delly whispered in his ear as a pinkish tinge spread all over his cheeks and neck. He looked around the crowd and stopped when his eyes pierced through mine. A wave of tingles spread throughout my body starting from my stomach to the rest of limbs. My world opened up to a kaleidoscope of emotions. Hope, desire and love radiated through every pore of my heated skin. He blushed again and turned his head in embarrassment while he shoved his shaking hands in his pockets. It's so like Peeta to be shy, vulnerable and sexy at the same time. I'm a goner.

I regarded the rest of the people in my life. Haymitch looked happy and healthy since his attempt of sobriety. He no longer held that haunted look in his eyes. The look of a man that shouldered decade's worth of death in his charge. Granted I knew that he would slip every once in a while. You couldn't break years of indulgence and self-destruction overnight. Johanna with her long dark hair in a ponytail was returning to the same Victor I met during the Quarter Quell. She had her moments of vulnerability and seemed comfortable to show that side of her to us. Especially to Peeta and Delly. Delly is…Delly; the light in our dark world. Peeta, Haymitch, Johanna and I were tainted by darkness. Her effervescent personality reminded us that there is goodness in the world that was shadowed by evil.

My newest friend Bron stood at attention ready to protect his friends and family. There's a kinship between Peeta and him that was born out of friendship and trust. Having him in our lives proved that not all Capitolites are like Snow. There is good in people whether you were district born or from the Capitol. He didn't fill a void in my life that Gale left behind. But his presence is welcomed just the same. My friendship with Gale is forever altered, never to be the same. If only he opened his heart, he would begin to heal and not live his life in bitterness, envy and resentment.

As for Peeta, I…everyday I experienced a gamut of emotions when I think of him. Emotions I no longer fear but embrace. His physical presence only heightened what I felt for him. My feelings for him are simmering and bubbling, waiting to be experienced and explored. I long for the day when he completely without reservation gives his heart to me. He waited for 11 years for me; I can wait for a lifetime.

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_**Thanks again for reading. Have a great week.**_


	15. Chapter 15 - Obstacles on the Road

Chapter 15 – Obstacles on the Road

**AN: Hello, everyone. Thanks for those who left a review. They are greatly appreciated as always. Three POV's in this chapter with a surprise guest near the end. Hope you enjoy.**

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I saw nothing but lights. Bright and glaring, it sent a false sense of warmth to my chilled skin as the air conditioning blasted sheets of cold air into the area. It reminded so much of my interviews in the Capitol that I took deep breaths to control my anxiety. Delly stood by my right side. Her company calmed me knowing that she was there. I looked around to find Johanna to my left as she paced the area. Her eyes skimmed the audience ever searching for trouble that may occur. Her presence was daunting as she wore her black typical black ensemble complete with her knife sheathed by her right thigh. She was denied from carrying her axe during the competition. Her dark hair cascaded down her shoulders. I smiled at her when she caught my eyes. She nodded back for support. Tonight she was my guard and my protector.

To my left beyond the blinding lights sat Haymitch and Katniss. They both had a look of nervousness and apprehension. Haymitch had his hands on his lap holding a flask. Suddenly, a scowl was etched on Katniss' face as she looked to her left. I looked to the direction of her eyesight to find Eva Perry standing at front and center of the audience pointing a camera at me. It was flattering at first when she caught my attention. However, her persistent attempt to ingratiate herself into my life was bordering on scary, creepy and irritating. Granted, she was a beautiful woman 10 years my senior, any normal man would be lucky to have her. When I dreamt or closed my eyes, I envisioned olive skin, thick dark hair and gray eyes that glitter like the shining stars in the dark of night. She is goddess and siren all rolled into one, as she is light and darkness, life and death.

I heard a mild curse passed her lips, as she was about to stand up and approach Eva. But, Haymitch pulled her back to her seat and whispered in her ear. A second later, she looked at me and pouted then, she folded her arms across her chest. She nodded her head as she slumped into her seat. I sighed in relief as Haymitch averted what would have been a confrontation between her and Eva.

Music blasted from the buildings speakers. A man appeared with an entourage consisted of 4 women and 2 men. The crowd went wild as they recognized the person talking to the head cameraman. He looked familiar but not the same as I realized that Caesar Flickerman had walked into the room. He waved at them and bowed; giddy from the attention he was receiving. Flashes of memories assaulted me. My breath grew erratic and harsh, my body tensed. My vision blurred as I reached for Delly.

"Delly," I gasped. I felt hands around my shoulders and waist. I mumbled to myself as my vision turned dark. When my vision cleared I see Katniss. She looked worried as she cupped her hands on my cheeks.

"Peeta, look at me," she begged. "You're alright. You're here at 12. Not the Capitol. You're safe with me."

"Where is Johanna?" I said, my voice shaky and low.

"I'm right here, Peet," she answered. She held my right hand in a tight grip.

"What happened?" I asked in confusion when I realize that I'm in far corner of the area away from prying eyes. I expected to wake up to a room painted white from floor to ceiling.

"You blanked out," Katniss explained. "You don't remember walking over here?" I shook my head in response.

"Did I…" I asked. Katniss knew my fear and shook her head.

"No, you didn't hurt anyone," she replied. "You fell into a trance, I think. It happened when you saw Caesar."

"Oh…" I responded. "That was real. He's really here." I inhaled long deep breaths to settle my self. "Where's Delly and Haymitch?"

"Haymitch had an…altercation with the camera guys," Johanna explained. "They were taping your reaction to Caesar's appearance and Haymitch went ballistic."

"I don't want Haymitch to get in trouble," I said. A shiver went through my spine. Katniss wrapped her arms around my waist in comfort. "Why is Caesar here?"

"You're a celebrity, Peet," Johanna spat. "This is a big deal for Panem. Why not televise an event to show that we're still Capitol's puppets?"

"I can't believe that President Paylor would approve of this," Katniss said in disgust.

"She's a politician. What do you expect?" Johanna sneered. "I knew I didn't trust that bitch. She's just as bad as Snow."

"Johanna," I said. I felt nothing but cold and emptiness when I appeared at the Capitol during the games and Victory Tour. The glittering buildings and shallow citizens disguised the veil of evil that shrouded over them. "She's nothing like him." Paylor was not like the Capitol and its' citizens. I would never align myself to anyone that would continue Snow's tyranny.

"No, Peet, she is like him," she interjected. "What good can come out of this? It's just a stupid baking competition."

"She has her reasons," I argued. "She's kept the media away from District 12 and left us alone."

"Hey, guys," Haymitch interrupted. He stood next to Delly and Caesar. The former Hunger Games host took a step towards us. Johanna was about to confront him when I blocked her way.

"Hello, Mr. Flickerman," I said with as much politeness and civility I could muster underneath my shaking interior.

"Mr. Mellark, Peeta," he said. Caesar looked small, like someone who had his world shattered into a million pieces. He no longer wore those sleek, shiny suits, tinted hair and gaudy makeup. What stood in front of me was a regular man wearing a well-tailored dark purple suit. His eyes looked drawn, tired. He was bald underneath his garish wigs. "I didn't mean to upset you. Had I known you would react this way I would have asked to meet your first. Ms. Cartwright explained to me what happened. I'm sorry if my presence upset you. It wasn't my intention to harm you in any way, I assure you. "

I smiled at him. Who was I to judge and condemn him? He was and always will be a Capitol puppet. We all had a role to play in the Capitol. Just because Snow was gone it didn't mean the other political games were over.

"No need to apologize, Caesar," I said. "It's not your fault."

"Nonetheless, I'm sorry," he said as he extended his hand. I reached forward and shook it. "As to why I'm here, I should explain. President Paylor thought that this would be a great opportunity to show that Panem is recovering from Snow and the games. We are televising events and programs that would showcase life outside the Capitol. That there is life beyond the games and who else would be the first to lead the way. You, Peeta, the darling of the 74th Hunger Games. A hero and a survivor."

"I didn't ask for this," I said, my anger, nerves and frustration reaching a tipping point. Half of the Capitol was enamored with me but I knew the rest of Panem had wished me dead.

"It was either me or someone else, Peeta," he concluded. My mind wondered as who else would host this mockery of an event. I knew Caesar was a Capitol pawn, but he was also part of Snow's plan to break me when I was held captive after the Quarter Quell. My memories of Caesar were jumbled with the interviews during the games and my torture. As my breath evened out and my mind cleared, I realized that I couldn't let this obstacle prevent me from reaching my goal. Winning a baking competition to get my bakery.

"Fine," I said. "Let's get this over with. I have another performance to play for the Capitol. Again." I walked off, angry and disappointed. Why can't my life be normal? Oh, I forget that I was never normal. Who else do you know would fall in love with a girl for 11 years and then get reaped together only to find out she resented your existence, then, to get abducted, tortured and hijacked for months on end. And, to still have some feelings for her while you're trying to ascertain which is real or not. Who? Me. I will never be normal. When I reached the baking venue Delly was by my side.

"Are you okay, Peeta?" she asked as she went for my wristband. I shook her off. I didn't want anyone to see her checking my band and asking what's she doing. I didn't want to rouse any questions about my condition. A look of hurt crossed her face.

"I'm fine, Delly," I said as I plastered a fake smile on my face. "It's game time."

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**Katniss POV - **

Haymitch and I returned to our seats. I wrung my hands on lap. My stress level was at its peak. I just wanted to grab Peeta and walk back to the comfort and safety of his home. Haymitch tipped the flask until it ran dry. We were all stressed out and angry at the turn of events.

"I'm sorry, Katniss," Haymitch whispered. "I didn't mean for this to happen." The haze of alcohol dulled anger.

"Don't, Haymitch," I said. "It's not your fault that Paylor did this. It's all on her."

"No, but it was my idea for the caking competition," he said. "I just didn't think it would turn out like this." Caesar hailed the audience for silence. The cameras began recording.

"Welcome everyone, this Caesar Flickerman all the way from District 12. The home of the Star Crossed Lovers, Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen." The camera panned to Peeta and myself. I cringed and looked away as the lens pointed at me. I cast my eyes to Peeta who had a look of disgust and anger on his handsome face. I smiled to assure him of my support and comfort. He relaxed and smiled back leaving my knees wobbly and stomach filled with butterflies. The world didn't exist when he smiled at me.

"Panem, we have special treat for you tonight," he gushed. "We are here at 12 to watch the first baking competition between our very own favorite Victor Peeta Mellark and his distinguished opponent Alex Baylor from District 10." The audience clapped and screamed in excitement. I couldn't contain my revulsion for their reaction.

"The winner for nights' competition will become the new owner of District's 12 new bakery," he announced. "I mean why else would you want a bakery without the best baker in your district." The audience laughed. I didn't get what was so amusing about it.

"However, just like any competition there must also have rules and guidelines to follow." He reached into his jacket pocket and read the following rules. "First, each competitor must bake one cake to serve at least one hundred people. Second, the second entry is a loaf of white bread. I mean, who can mess up making white bread, right?" The audience again laughed.

I heard Haymitch snickered beside me. "Foppish ass thinks he's funny," he scoffed.

"For the third entry, they must bake a signature or specialty item that must be either sweet or savory." Caesar requested. "Sounds…del..icous and all decadent." He paused for a dramatic affect. "And all this must be completed within six hours."

I gasped in shock. "Haymitch, is that enough time to do all three?" I asked.

"I don't know, Katniss. I've never baked a damn thing in my whole life," he blustered. "I guess that's the whole point of having a competition."

"The competitor's creations will be judged for taste and appearance," Caesar continued. "All entries must be completed and designed, no half baked, half decorated creations accepted. Well that's silly, who would want to eat a half baked cake?" The crowd continued to laugh with his lame jokes. I watched Johanna rolled her eyes and stuck a finger down her throat. I laughed in response. The task seemed daunting. I glanced at Peeta who appeared calm and collect. He leaned over Delly whispering in her ear.

"And lastly, since the duration of time is somewhat…short," he paused and took a dramatic breath. "The judges were kind to add another stipulation to the contest. We ask the audience if we can have one volunteer to assist our competitors." My brows rose at the request.

"Can I have a volunteer for Mr. Baylor?" Caesar asked. "Please, when you volunteer you must have some experience in a kitchen or skill in taking directions." The crowd guffawed as several women stood up and raised their hand. He chose a young woman around 20ish, eager to assist Alec. "Your name young lady?"

"Simone, Simone Cahill," she said.

"What's your experience in the food industry?" Caesar asked.

"I work at my parents' restaurant, Cahill's," Simone answered as grabbed Caesar's microphone. "Located at the main street between the candy shop and fine jewelry store."

"Wonderful, please take your place over there with Team Baylor," he instructed. "Next, can I have volunteer for Mr. Peeta Mellark?" The crowd grew quiet and still. No one moved then suddenly people ranging from young to old stood up with their hand raised. They were several in fact. More than half the audience stood up, all female to my dismay.

"My, my, so what do we have here," he gushed. "You seem to be very popular, Peeta." The women giggled as the men scoffed in envy. Peeta appeared shocked and surprised.

My eyes narrowed as I watched Eva stand up and moved towards Caesar. She flipped her hair in a flirtatious manner. _'No fucking way,' _my mind screamed. "I volunteer," I shouted so loud that I startled Haymitch from his seat. For a mere second I was sent back to a moment that changed my life forever. I hope that Prim's is watching and smiling over us. I walked over to Caesar making sure that my intentions were clear. No way was that woman getting near Peeta.

"Katniss Everdeen," he announced. He extended his hand, which I shook. "It's so great to see you again."

"Likewise," I answered back as I planted a fake smile on my face. I too learned a thing or two after two arenas and two tyrants that ruled my life.

"Well, this is a treat, Panem. How are you doing Ms. Everdeen?" he asked.

"I'm fine," I responded in clipped manner. I didn't appreciate the small talk and made sure that Caesar knew it. There was an odd pause and awkward moment as he waited for me to continue.

He cleared his throat. "So Katniss, my dear. I have to ask," he said. "What experience do you have in the food industry?"

I smiled at him. "I don't," I said as I looked into the camera.

"Oh, what qualifies you to volunteer for this competition?" he inquired. I turned back to face Caesar.

"I don't need one, do I?" I said. "I have every right to volunteer since he's…" I paused and gazed at Peeta who brows were arched on this forehead while his bangs covered eyes. He still needed haircut as I my mind wandered and I envisioned sliding my hand in his wavy locks. I knew this was the moment. I needed to reveal to Panem that he was and still is very dear to me. He once announced his crush to all of Panem with no thought of returning my affections for him. It was an admission from a boy to a girl who he was madly in love with. He didn't deserve any less of my love and support for him. It was time that all of Panem knew the truth of my feelings for him.

Not thinking of the consequences, I held my head up high and said, "…he's my Peeta…he's mine as I am his. He has been and will always be mine. If anyone will be by his side to help him, it's me. Sorry ladies." The audience grew still. Seconds later, the audience reacted as women giggled in glee and men groaned. _'Take that Panem,'_ my mind screamed. _'How's that for a public declaration.' _I looked over at Peeta. He had a look of shock and something I couldn't' decipher on his face.

"Okay, Katniss. If that is one qualifier, I guess that would be it," he prattled. "I'm not going to argue with the Mockingjay." He raised his hands in mock surrender. "Please go over to Team Mellark." I turned towards Delly and Peeta. Delly smiled as though her face was going to crack from joy. Johanna, who's off to the side, hid a smile behind her hand. Haymitch tipped his flask and raised his thumb in approval. My Boy with the Bread stood stock-still. As I reached him, he gathered me in his arms for a hug. I prayed that he didn't respond for the cameras. He needed to know that this was real for me.

"Peeta?" I said as I stared into his eyes. He shook his head not anger as I expected.

"Not now, okay?" he said. "Later." His face displayed no emotion, not of anger or joy from my declaration.

"Okay," I responded both in relief and disappointment. Fear and hope blossomed inside of me as I looked forward to and dreaded our conversation. However, I had to take each battle one at a time. Delly walked over to me and helped me get ready for the competition. Her smile didn't waver as she tied an orange apron on me.

"Stop it," I said trying to hide the blush from her stare. My eyes lingered on Peeta as he too tied an apron onto himself.

"What? I think that was…brave and romantic," she admitted. "There's hope for you yet."

"I shouldn't have done that in public," I sighed. "I think he's mad at me."

"No, he isn't," Delly assured me. "He's stressing and overwhelmed. You picked a fine time to admit your feelings to him. And to announce it on camera for the world to see."

"It was stupid…I was stupid to have done that now," I said.

No, Katniss, it was perfect," she said. "It's a full circle from the first time he admitted his crush for you with Caesar." I remembered that night not too fondly. I cringed every time I felt or saw the scar I left on his hand from my tirade. "Come on, we have a competition to win. And, Katniss." She paused. "Fight for him whatever the outcome." I took a deep breath as we stood next to Peeta. He took my hand into his. It was going to be the longest six hours of my life.

**Hour One:** With a quick handshake and a wish of 'Good luck,' to Alec, Peeta sent Delly out for other ingredients that he didn't anticipate for the contest. The working area consisted of three long rectangular tables shaped in a U formation. Station One was for the bread, the Center Station was for the cake and the third was for last entry that was added to the contest. For each table, I measured and counted cups of flour and other ingredients as Peeta prepped the two ovens. His first task was to mix the batter for the white bread and for Station Three since it has to rise for a few hours. Delly returned with a large bag of goat cheese. As Peeta prepared for the bread he had Delly mixed the batter for the cake. I continued to measure and count cups of flour into large mixing bowls. It was the easiest task but adding the deadline and pressure; I had to start over a couple of times whenever I lost count. Every time I faltered Peeta would place a comforting hand on the small of my back asking me if I was okay. His touch was soothing, as he would find opportunities to touch me on my back, arm or shoulder. I swore he was trying to seduce me but I knew it was an act of comfort. Nonetheless, I welcomed his gesture of support and encouragement.

**Hours Two:** With the cakes baking in the oven, I stood next to Peeta and Delly as they kneaded large amounts of dough. My mouth watered, as I smelled the chocolate cake baking in the ovens. The cakes needed to be baked first since they had to cool before frosting them. At one point I felt helpless and useless that Peeta took a moment to instruct me how to knead the dough to help speed things up. He placed a lump of dough in front of me.

"Just copy what I'm doing," he said as he pressed down on the dough. "Not too soft or too hard or you'll get tired really fast. Just fold over the dough and press your knuckles down firmly." It was easier said that done. He made it look so effortless. I stood next to Peeta and tried to mimic his technique but after hearing me sigh countless times, he stopped. "Am I doing this right?"

"Katniss, you need to relax your arms and apply firm pressure with your hands," he instructed. He stood behind me with his chest against my back. His arms were wrapped around me as his breath trickled down my neck. My heart sped up as his lips brushed my ear. "Like this." With his chest firmly pressed against my back, I felt so aroused that I forgot everyone and everything around us.

It could have seconds or minutes later when I looked up to see the camera as well as the audience and Eva staring at us. My mood shifted from relaxed to embarrassment, as I realized that our private moment was being recorded. I just hope I didn't make a fool of myself. Heck, who cares? Peeta's mine and the world should know it.

**Hour Three:** By the end of the second hour, I realized that Peeta's third entry was my Cheese Buns. A large batch of dough sat for an hour when he pulled out the goat cheese for me to grate. By the time we were finished he placed several linen cloths over the mounds of bread waiting for them to rise.

"He was thinking of making his family signature dried fruit and nut bread," Delly interjected as we watched him work. "You know in honor of his father, but it was not any different from the white loaf. So he thought of something else closer to his heart." He could have made cookies, muffins or rolls but he chose my favorite food choice.

Between Hour Three and Four we were given a fifteen-minute break. Bron came over and was rubbing Delly's lower legs. Johanna sat between Peeta and Delly. Haymitch left the building to make a call to Paylor. I hope he gives her a word or two for ambushing Peeta for the camera and Caesar's sudden appearance without a warning. We were sitting together at the side of the baking area in clear view of the cameras. We have been standing upright for three straight hours that the break was a welcomed relief. Concerned, I reached over to Peeta and laid a hand on his leg.

"Peeta, how's your leg?" I asked.

"It's all right, Katniss," he answered. "I'm used to standing for hours on end at the bakery." He took my hand. "How about you? You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said but I winced when I turn my head which caught Peeta's attention.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I think I have a crick in my neck," I said as I moved my head and shoulder to alleviate the tension. Without a word, Peeta stood up and walked behind me. He warmed his hands before placing them on my shoulders and began to rub them. I gasped in surprise then moaned as he found a sensitive spot on my neck.

"I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" Peeta asked with concern in his voice as his hands stilled.

"No keep going, don't stop," I moaned again. I closed my eyes, as the sensations of his hands on me felt relaxing and erotic. I wanted him to rub his hands on other parts of my anatomy. My mind drifted to all sort of fantasies I've been having since sleeping with him.

"Excuse me, but do you two want to get a room," Johanna snickered. "You do realize that you're being taped." I looked over to discover the camera aimed straight at us. From behind them, the deadly look directed at me from Eva was priceless. I couldn't help but moan involuntarily when Peeta massaged a tender spot on my neck. I gasped in embarrassment as Delly and Johanna continued to make fun of me. By the time the break was over I was felt gooey and relaxed that all I wanted was to find a bed and have Peeta's arms around me. I look forward to this evening and reward Peeta whether he won the competition or not.

**Hour Four:** The cakes have been cooling for an hour. When Peeta pulled them out of the oven, the audience oohed and awed from the smell rising from the cakes. In all this time, not once had Peeta looked over to Alec's side. During Hour Two one of his assistants accidently dropped a whole batter of dough on the floor. He was forced to start over for his third entry, which would have been cinnamon rolls. He changed his mind and decided to make blueberry crumb muffins. With all the commotion, the noise and drama didn't faze Peeta. He was checking on his white loaf baking in the oven when Alec's team had their mishap. Some of the audience grew restless so as they left others filled in the empty spots. The camera continued to tape, as Caesar would supply little quips and comments at the beginning of each hour.

"Hey, Katniss, are you okay?" Peeta asked while adding frosting to a pastry bag. Delly was rolling white fondant for the large cake. I was useless at this point.

"Yeah, I'm good," I replied. Truthfully, I'm tired and my feet hurt from standing most of the day. But being with Peeta and to have him beside me was worth it. He was covered in flour since he removed his apron after the second hour claiming that it was uncomfortable to wear. His black pants and shirt had smudges of white flour from his shoulders to his feet. I wish I had Delly's camera so I can preserve a picture of him with the flour all over his clothes.

**Hour Five:** I'm exhausted, hungry and frustrated. I'm amazed and impressed at Peeta's stamina and concentration. Haymitch left an hour before to get us some snacks to munch on. He returned with Greasy Saw and Tamryn. It was not a good idea. Not aware of her surrounding, Tamryn ran straight to Peeta in the middle of the competition. He was mixing large bowls of vanilla bean white frosting in different colors when she ran into his legs and gave him a tight hug.

"Peeta, you have flour all over you," she giggled. Peeta smiled as he picked her up and hugged her back.

"Tamryn, get back over here and stop bothering him Peeta. He's busy right now," Sae, reprimanded her. "I'm sorry, Peeta. She just took off and I couldn't get her in time."

"It's okay, Sae," he said. "No harm done." He placed her back on the ground and leaned over her. "Listen, Tamryn, I'm in the middle of doing something really important. Why don't you sit down next to your Granma and Mr. Abernathy over there, okay?"

"Whatcha doing with all these people?" she asked as turned around the noticed the crowd before her. "Why are they all here?" The camera kept rolling and was aimed at the commotion Tamryn was causing.

"I'm baking a cake and bread for a contest," he answered.

"Can I help you, please?" she asked. "Please, Peeta?"

"Sorry, sweetie. Not today," Peeta said. "But you can help me bake my cake for my birthday, okay?" She nodded her head and hugged him one last time. Haymitch mouthed _'sorry'_ to Peeta who just shook his head and mouthed back _'it's all right.'_ Sae wordlessly handed a bag to me as she led Tamryn away from the area. I found three turkey sandwiches, 3 bottle of water and apples. I devoured my food quickly and went back to work. I noticed Peeta's half eaten sandwich lying on one of the prep tables. Delly informed me that he managed to eat at least one and half meals a day. I needed to figure out how to fatten up my Boy with the Bread. He's still so skinny for my taste.

A ding sounded off from a timer. Peeta removed a large platter of cheese buns from the oven. I heard several people in the audience make comments as he placed them on a table. The cheese bread smelled heavenly that I was tempted to steal on for myself. Even Alex stopped what he was doing and watched as Peeta swiped butter on top each bun with a brush then he sprinkled cheese to top it off. With this two items done, he went back to decorating the large cake.

**Hour Six:** The audience was at a stand still. Everyone stood and watched as Peeta and Alec completed their last entry. The silence was deafening. Delly and I stood helpless as Peeta continued to frost and design the last top cake. His two entries the cheese buns and white loaf were plated and set aside on black shiny platters surrounded by wild flowers, which Delly and I arranged. Appearance and presentation was critical as was taste. However, there wasn't anything else to do but watch and wait for Peeta to finish. I looked over to Alec's station. His loaf and blueberry muffins too were ready for judging. His cake stood three tiers high decorated in white fondant with swirls of white and silver frosting and faux pearls as accents. It was beautiful and impressive.

Peeta's cake was also three-layers. The first bottom layer was frosted with light yellow Sunflowers. On the second layer, Peeta created ivory colored Delilah flowers. The top layer was a bed of Katniss flowers in yellow with a three melted sugar doves in mid flight as they danced with one another. On the each side of the round cakes was gold and white pearl dust. It wasn't as elegant as Alec's but I knew of the significance of each layer. He had dedicated his piece to Johanna, Delly and myself. It was beautiful nonetheless. By the time he was finished he had all three of us brimming with tears. Even Johanna was affected with his gesture and homage to us.

"You better win this, 12," Johanna said with mock anger. "I swear if you don't, heads will roll."

"It's beautiful, Peeta," Delly cried as she hugged him.

"Hey," I said in teasing manner. "Bron's over there getting jealous. Go get your own." I grabbed Peeta's waist and yanked hard that he yelped in surprised. Johanna snickered at me for my possessiveness. Haymitch came over and ruffled Peeta's hair.

"You did good, kid," he announced like a proud parent. "I'm so proud of what you've done today. I knew it wasn't easy, but you survived."

"Thanks Haymitch," Peeta replied. "Thanks for everything."

We stood together in anticipation and giddiness. I dared to look over at Eva whose face was red from jealousy and anger. My arm rested around Peeta's waist as Tamryn held his right hand with her two small ones. All six council members served as judges for the contest. I couldn't read any of their faces, as they tasted each item. Twenty minutes later, the votes were tallied.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, please be seated," Caesar, announced. He had changed to a garish dark orange suit and black tie. "Before I announce the winner of this event, I personally would to thank District 12 for your generosity and hospitality. It has been my pleasure to be here with you today. So without further ado, the votes have been counted and as a treat I like to have our special guest announce the owner of District 12's new bakery. Please give a round of applause of your very own Ms. Effie Trinket."

I gasped in surprise as I watched Effie enter the room. The woman who appeared before us was dressed in an elegant black jumpsuit with a plunging neckline. She wore minimum make-up and no garish or color tinted wig on her head. Her golden blond hair was straight and pulled back. Who knew the beauty that was buried underneath the Capitol costume? Even Haymitch was struck by her exquisite visage.

"Hello everyone," she said in her Capitol accent. I smirked to myself. Her appearance may have changed but her personality and voice remained. She was still the Effie Trinket I met those years ago. "First, I want to thank you for permitting us to televise this once in a lifetime event in District 12." I turned to Haymitch who had a conspiratorial look on his face. "Second, I also wish to say thanks to Peeta and Alec for their hard work and for making this event possible. So I am please to announce the winner and the name for District 12 inaugural bakery belonging to none other and most deserved…Peeta Mellark.

The audience yelled and cheered for Peeta as he walked over to Effie and hugged her hard and tight. She yelped in surprise as he whisked her off the ground and spun her around. When he dropped her to her feet she exclaimed in mock anger, "Peeta Mellark, manners. That is not how you treat a lady."

"Thank you, Effie," he exclaimed as he hugged her again. "I'm so happy to see you. I'm so glad you're here."

"I wouldn't miss this for the world, Peeta," she said in return as tears glistened in eyes "It's just so good to see you." We are so overjoyed that we didn't hear Caesar announcing the end of the program and wishing all of Panem a goodnight.

"I won, Delly," Peeta hooted. "Johanna, Katniss, I won." He ran to us hugging Delly, Johanna and myself. "Oh my god, I own a bakery." We all laughed at the joyful and fearful look on his handsome face. Dimples appeared on his cheeks. I missed those indentations.

"Hey, Peeta, congratulations," Thom said interrupting us. He shook Peeta's hand as he reached him. "I knew you could do it. Sorry I wasn't here for you but I had to work."

"Don't apologize, Thom," he said. "This is all possible because of you. I can never repay you for giving me the push to do this."

"No, Peeta," Thom said. "You did this on your own. I know how much this means to you. Besides, I owe you anyway." He turned and looked at me. I cringed at the memory of his involvement between Gale and me. I still haven't forgiven him for that. After the whipping incident with Nolan, Gale had returned to District 2 and I have not heard or seen him since then.

"What are you talking about?" Peeta asked. "You don't owe me anything, if anyone is in debt it's me. You, Thom get to get free bread for the rest of your life. Anytime you want."

Thom laughed in earnest. "Anyway, you need to come to the office tomorrow," he said. "You have to complete the rest of the forms for the bakery construction permits. Whenever you ready, Peeta. The bakery is all yours. And congratulations."

"Thanks, Thom," he said. "Excuse me for a minute, I'll be right back." He turned to Alec who stood a few yards before him. I watched as he shook his opponent's hand. Ever the diplomat Peeta has known when to be gracious and to be humble. Alec nodded his head and shook Peeta's hand again.

"Hello, Katniss," Effie said as she appeared beside me. I've haven't seen her for months and wondered what had happened to her after the war. It was by pure desperation that I called her months before to help me with my paltry wardrobe. All because of and for Peeta. "You look beautiful as always. Cinna would be so proud of you." I peered down at attire, which consisted of black legging with knee high boots with a thigh length sea blue tunic blouse. I remembered Peeta's reaction when he first saw me.

"I had lots of help" I quipped. "I have this friend in the Capitol that has great style and taste," I commented as I hugged her. "You're so beautiful, Effie." She blushed and cleared her throat. "I'm happy to see you."

"It is a joy and a pleasure to see you as well Katniss, dear," Effie stated. She turned and looked at Peeta who's still talking to Alec. "He looks good, Katniss," she said. "Handsome and charming as ever." She sighed, "I've been so worried about him. I didn't think…he was going to make it, you know. No one has ever survived a tracker venom poisoning before." I gulped and held my breath for a moment. The thought terrorized and frightened me to my core. I didn't realized how strong my Boy with the Bread was until this moment. "It's a miracle really. I guess he had a lot to live for."

"He really did most of it on his own," I admitted. I recalled the first few weeks when he sequestered himself from everyone and kept busy by remodeling his home. I should have been there for him but the fear of his rejection and hatred overshadowed my heart and mind.

"How is he really doing?" she asked.

"He's getting better, Effie," I answered. "All of us are doing our best to take care of him."

"I know he's in good hands," she said. "Just remember to take good care of yourself too. You've made great strides in your recovery."

"I had a lot of help. We all are taking care of each other," I added. "I miss you, Effie. I wish you could visit more often."

"Well, I have some news," she said. "There's a reason why I'm visiting 12. I've been thinking for a while now that I need to get a fresh start away from the Capitol. I may become a permanent resident of District 12 in a couple of weeks. All my family is gone and…I mean, I still have to have my paperwork approved but it looks promising."

"Really, why didn't you say anything to us," I cried in joy. "It would be great to have you here with us. Where will you be staying?"

"That's the thing. I need a reference from a current resident," she explained. "I can move as soon as possible once my application is approved, but I need a place to stay while I look for a more permanent arrangement. Do you know anyone willing to do that for me?"

"Effie," I gasped as I hugged her. "Just give me pen and I'll gladly sign it. You can stay at my place until you find a place of your own."

"What's going on?" Peeta asked as I released Effie and turned to him.

"Effie is applying for residency here at District 12," I announced.

"That's wonderful," Peeta stated. "Hey, we need to celebrate. I wonder if they'll let me take the cake home." He turned just in time to see both cakes being cut and served to the rest of the audience. A few council members snuck over to Peeta's station to steal the rest of the white loaf he baked for the contest. "Oh, guess I'll have to make another one. Come on let's get out of here and I'll whip us up a new cake to celebrate."

Haymitch appeared before us with Delly, Bron, Sae, Tamryn and Johanna behind him. "You need a break, Peeta. Let's head over to the new restaurant in town and celebrate there instead. You got to be tired from the competition. No cooking or baking for you for the rest of the evening."

"Yeah, Peet," Bron said. "Dinner will on me. I know the owners and they would love for you and Katniss to have for dinner at their place. I promise that no one will disturb us."

Peeta looked at everyone around him. "Okay, if it's okay with Katniss," he said. I nodded my head as I took his hand. "Let me go home and get changed first, I'm a mess."

"Me too, I smell like yeast and cheese," Delly laughed to herself.

"All ready thought of that," Johanna interrupted as she gave Peeta, Delly and myself a bag of clothes to change into. "You can change at the restaurant's restrooms." Peeta gave Johanna a hug then we proceeded to head out for our celebratory dinner.

* * *

**Effie POV – **

With a full stomach of food and wine, I leaned back on my seat and looked around the table. Katniss' friends Sae and her granddaughter, Tamryn went home soon as dinner was over. Johanna and Bron were the midst of downing a glass of beer seeing who can drink it the fastest_. 'Ugh, I'm surrounded by brutes and heathens,'_ I sighed. My thoughts are interrupted when I heard a giggle pierce the air. Delly is regaling Katniss with embarrassing stories of Peeta's childhood. It's a night of joy and celebration without the shadow of the Capitol and President Snow. I reminisced about the life I once led; a life of decadence, luxury and ignorance of the world around me. I thought of how two children from District 12 managed to turn Snow and Panem up side down and changed our lives forever; those two children who suffered so much for one so young.

How Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen become Panem's national treasure and heroes.

I looked at the both of them, still so young but no longer innocent. There is a slight tinge of pink painted on Peeta's face. Katniss sat close to him like she did whenever they were together whether at the Capitol or the train. This time however, I noticed a change in her attitude towards Peeta. In the past, there was always an uneasy camaraderie that she forced herself to endure whenever she was near him. Now there is blush of love and adoration when she spoke or looked at him. Unfortunately it is Peeta that sport the look that Katniss once wore on her face. The light in his eyes was evident whenever he was near her. It is now replaced with uncertainty and something else I cannot explain.

"So, Effie, were you ever going to tell me of your plans to moving here?" Haymitch said, his voice low. His eyes were bleary but even in his alcoholic haze he still had an articulate and sharp mind.

"I didn't think I had to get permission from you, Abernathy," I retorted.

"No, you didn't, but why the secrecy?" he said.

"I have my reason," I added. "And they really are none of your business."

"But why 12 and why now?" he pushed further for an explanation.

I just want a fresh start away from the Capitol and why not District 12." I stated.

"You love living in the Capitol," Haymitch said. "There is nothing here for you."

"You need to mind your own business," I hissed. "I can very well move anywhere I want without having you interrogating me. Maybe I just miss you guys. Did you ever think of that? That you, Peeta and Katniss are all I have left in this world and I want to be here with you." I slammed my hand on the table startling everyone. I'm getting emotional and making a scene.

"Are they fighting?" Delly whispered to Katniss but loud enough for me to hear.

"Yeah, they are," Katniss said.

"We are not fighting," both Haymitch and I exclaimed.

"See they're fighting," Katniss corrected. "They do that a lot when they're together."

"They remind me of my parents," Bron added.

"At least some things never change," Peeta voiced in amusement.

"Just keep your opinions to yourself Haymitch," I said. "As a matter of fact, just don't talk to me for the rest of my visit." I stood up and walked straight to the women's restroom. Tears brimmed my eyes. I cannot understand why Haymitch above all people would question my decision to move to 12. I mean, I did have my reasons, but they were mine to keep. The people I have come to adore, respect and love are all here. As I wiped my tears, Katniss barged in the room.

"Effie, are you okay?" Katniss asked as she approached me.

"Oh, dear, I didn't mean to ruin the evening," I said as I dabbed a tissue to dry my face.

"You didn't. In fact, Peeta's mad at Haymitch for upsetting you," Katniss explained. "The night is not ruined. We're all too happy about you coming to live here."

"Obviously not all of you. He just knows how to push my buttons," I said. "I should be used it to by now. I'm mean I've known Haymitch for ages so for him to stick his nose in my business shouldn't surprise me."

"I don't care what he thinks," she added. "I can't wait for you to live here with us."

"I'm looking forward to living here. It's just…I'm so alone in the Capitol and I don't what to do know now that I don't work there," I sighed. I don't miss my job or the trappings that the Capitol held. The war changed all that. Years ago my view of world had me convinced that it was the life I enjoyed and relished. "I need a new start. I know that there is nothing I can do to make up for my part with games but…"

"Stop, Effie," Katniss admonished me. "Don't rehash history that can't be rewritten. All of us are given a new start. Who are we to judge you for your past?"

"Oh, Katniss, you sounded just like Peeta," I complimented her. She blushed a bright red at my comment. "You've grown so much, Katniss. I'm glad that you're well. And that you're finally appreciating everything you denied for so long. You deserve to be happy."

"I didn't at first," she confessed. "For so long I felt guilty for surviving. Now, I know what I want. I know what will make me happy."

"Does that include a handsome, charming blond hair, blue-eyed young man that has adored you all his life?" I teased.

"Yes, Effie," she said. "And this time, I'm not letting him go once I have him."

"Speaking of which, we should head back," I said. "I don't want to worry Peeta. I know he's probably worrying about us for staying here too long." I grabbed her arm and walked out of the room.

**Katniss POV -**

As we reached the table, Haymitch had a sullen look on her face. Johanna arms were folded across her chest while Delly and her boyfriend sat quietly amongst themselves. I shook my arm away from Effie and looked about the room. "Where's Peeta?" I steeled my voice from showing any panic and fear.

"He went to the boys room," Haymitch answered. "Don't worry he should be back soon."

I sat down and tried to calm my frazzled nerves. Five minutes passed and still no sign of Peeta. "Bron can you go check on him?" I asked. "He's taking too long and I'm getting worried."

"Sure Katniss," Bron replied. "Don't worry, he's probably okay and just needed a moment for himself." Two minutes later, Bron returned minus Peeta. I stood up and approached him before he reached the table.

"Where is he?" I asked in a panicked tone.

"Katniss, he wasn't in the restroom," he said. "I couldn't find him."

"No, no," I screamed. "Where is he? We have to find him. What if…" Delly stood next to me as Johanna wrapped her arm around my waist. Panic and terror seized my heart.

"Hey, calm down Katniss," Haymitch ordered. "Let's all spread out and look around. No one should look for him alone, pair up and stick together. Maybe he had panic attack and wandered off. He's just lost or something."

Delly and Bron continued to search the remaining areas of the restaurant and headed back to search for him at the baking venue while Haymitch and Effie went back to the Victory Village incase he wandered home.

Johanna and I searched the street and stores for Peeta. No had seen him.

"Johanna, what if he has him," I cried. "What if his stalker finally got him and..."

"Hey, stop thinking that," Johanna interrupted. "Peeta's fine. We'll find him, okay? Don't start thinking like that; you'll make yourself sick. Why don't we head back to the house since no one in town are a help to us." I nodded my head and ran towards home. From a distance I saw smoke rising from the vicinity of the Victor's Village. When we reached home, I cried in pain and horror, Peeta's house was ablaze.

"Peeta, Peeta," I howled in terror. I'm grabbed by the waist as I tried to enter the burning house. "Peeta! He might be in the house. Let go of me." I turned to punch whoever held me captive. I struck Haymitch in his left eyed but he grabbed my arms.

"Katniss, calm down. You can't go in there," he screamed. "We don't even know if he's inside the house. Just calm down." I struggled against him until there was no fight left in me.

"Haymitch, I can't lose him. Not now," I blubbered. My tears blinded my vision as the heat and smoke choked me. Haymitch pulled me further away from the house. My throat hurt from screaming and my breath uneven as my heart drummed against my chest. I barely noticed that Delly and Bron had arrived just in time to see Peeta's beautiful home burn to the ground. _'This can't be happening,'_ my mind chanted. Tonight I was going to reveal to Peeta the truth that I had denied myself. He had given me his love and his strength without asking for anything in return. I finally felt the courage to tell him what I had longed to say to him. As I watched his house burn to cinders I felt my dreams and hopes die.

An hour later, the fire marshaled cleared Peeta's home. There were no signs of Peeta being inside the house. I cried in joy and pain as I realized that he's missing. What's if he out there hurt and dying? What if he's dead? How will I go on without him? I shook the fatal thoughts out of mind. Johanna's right, I cannot think that he's gone or dead. Peeta is missing and the only thing I need to do is to find him. God help the person who took him from me, he will pay with his life.

* * *

**How's it going so far? Love it, hate it. I don't if I should be worried if I left you guys speechless or uninterested to leave a review. Lol. Nonetheless, thanks for reading my fic. So many story arcs and ideas but so little time to write. Have a great rest of the week.**


	16. Chapter 16 - Destination Unknown

Chapter 16 – Destination Unknown

**Katniss POV –**

"Katniss, stop. Slow down," Delly screamed, her voice echoed into the night air. "We've been walking for 2 hours. We should stop and call it a night."

"Delly's right," Bron agreed with his girlfriend who was bend over catching her breath. I observed Delly's attire and thought for a minute how I never seen her wear black before. Her appearance unsettled me since I'm so accustomed to her wearing flowery and pastel colors. The color didn't suit her. "We need to stop for the night or head back. It's past midnight and there's nothing we can do until we get some more light."

"You go stop and go home, I don't care what you do," I ranted. I knew I was irrational. Fear and desperation fueled my every step. I couldn't stop until I found Peeta. "I have to keep looking. Peeta might to be out here scared, lost or worse hurt." After the fire marshal left, we continued to search throughout the town while Effie and Haymitch stayed at the Victor's Village incase Peeta showed up. After looking high and low for a couple hours, we returned home. Haymitch was informed that a timer was set at Peeta's home and that our own homes were rigged as well. No one was safe so Haymitch and Effie bunked at a house that wasn't affected while Johanna and I were packed to search for Peeta regardless of the late hour. We had lost so much time already and I feared that Peeta had suffered an attack and wandered mindlessly into the woods. I'm paralyzed by fear for Peeta's safety. Bron and Delly joined us as we left and started our search at the site where the stalker had been camped out. When we reached our destination everything was gone as if he had never been there. Thus, we had decided to continue our search.

Johanna grabbed my arm. "Katniss, you're exhausted and scared. We all are. We want to find Peeta too just as much as you. We can set up camp for the night and start at daylight." She paused and steered me to look straight into her tired eyes. "You're not doing yourself any favor if you're tired and get sick. He would want you to rest and take care of yourself." There's a pit lodged in the bottom of my stomach. I'm close to losing any control and my mind from worry.

"I'm so worried," I whispered as tears ran down my cheeks.

"I know, I am too," Johanna admitted. "But if there is one thing I know for certain is that Peeta survived Snow and the Capitol. There is no way that he would let anything happen now. He would fight his way to get back to you."

"I miss him so much," I cried as I wiped my nose with my sleeve. I'm sure I'm a mess with my eyes red and snot running down my nose. "He has to be okay. I just want him back." Johanna wrapped her arms around in comfort.

"I swear to you, Katniss," Johanna promised. "He will be coming home to you."

An hour later, we're settled for the night with our sleeping bags around a roaring fire. We couldn't afford to be surprised or ambushed in case the stalker encountered us unaware. I'm restless and wide-awake as my mind raced with images of Peeta hurt, dying or dead. I volunteered for the first watch since I couldn't sleep then relented when Johanna's turn was up.

"Hey, you're time is up and don't argue with me," she scolded me when I volunteered to take her turn. "You need to rest."

Johanna patrolled the perimeter for another hour then slinked into her sleeping bag when Bron's turn was up. At the moment, he stoked the fire and added more wood. Delly is curled up asleep beside him. I envy them for their support, devotion and love for each other. Johanna whimpered in her sleep beside me as she too succumbed to nightmares. Each of us rewarded with nightmares as souvenirs from our experiences with the games and the war. I've been dousing in and out of sleep for better part of the hour when I heard a scream pierce the air. I sat up as Bron stood alerting Delly from her sleep.

"What's wrong," she whispered at us. I prodded Johanna as she immediately sat up in attention.

"Listen," I instructed them. The scream howled in the night. "That's Peeta." I stood, grabbed my bow and quiver and ran into the direction of the scream. My heart beat so fast that I have to breathe through my mouth. "Peeta!" I gripped my bow tight in my hand as I reached over to pull a bow from my quiver.

As we reached a clearing, Peeta stood in the middle of the field. His face is peppered with bruises. Blood oozed from slash marks on his naked chest. A brown leather strap was wrapped around. There were new cuts on his arms as blood seeped through the bandages while his hands are tied in front of him. Gale stood with a knife on Peeta's exposed throat. With the difference of height between them I drew my bow and pointed at his head. "Gale, let him go," I yelled in anger and fear. My eyes focused and hands steady. It's a clear night as the moon illuminated over us.

"I fucking knew it was you, Hawthorne," Johanna roared as she gripped her axe with her hands. Bron held his taser as he held a hand back to Delly. "You let him go, asshole."

"No one move," Gale hissed. "This is between me and Catnip."

"My name is Katniss," I said. "Catnip died in the arena."

"You'll always be Catnip to me," he said. "It's his fault that I lost you."

"It was never Peeta's fault because you never had me," I countered. "Just let Peeta go. You're right this is between you and me."

"Now, why would I do that when I can do this," he said with a gleam in his dark eyes. He inched the knife closer to Peeta's neck drawing blood. "If I can't have you, no one else will especially him."

"Stop," I said. "Let him go right now, Gale." I drew my bow tighter as my fingers itched to release the arrow. "You can walk away before I put an arrow between your eyes."

"You wouldn't kill me Catnip," he said with a smug look on his face. "You love me, not this worm. He's beneath you. What you think is love is nothing compared to how we feel for each other. You would never hurt me."

"You're wrong," I said. "I'll kill anyone that would hurt Peeta in any way. Even you. I would burn Panem to the ground for him."

"You love him that much," he asked, his face flushed with disbelief and anger at the same time.

"No I don't love him," I said. Peeta sighed in resignation with a hurt look in his eyes. "I'm in love with him. My love for Peeta is beyond anything I have ever known or felt. There are no words that could ever define for what I feel for him. He's everything to me, he's my forever. That's how much I love him." I dare not to look into Peeta's eyes with my confession.

"No, it's not true," Gale seethed with anger causing him to grip his knife deeper into Peeta's throat.

"It's over Gale," I said. "You and I would have never worked. I never felt that hunger or desire when you touched me. Only he can ignite that kind of passion I never knew I possessed. You're my friend. I love you like I love Hazelle, Rory and Posy. We were family." I knew that I could insight Gale to anger with my words, but he needed to understand that I never needed him the way I need Peeta.

"It's not enough," he howled into the night. "Say your last words to him, Katniss because this is your chance to say goodbye." He released Peeta and turned him around to reveal a bomb on Peeta's naked back. "Say good-bye to Peeta, Katniss." Gale held the trigger in his left hand and clicked a button. Without any hesitation I released my arrow, which lodged in center of Gale's forehead.

"Run, Katniss," Peeta yelled. The clock on his back counted down from 60 seconds. "Bron, Johanna take her and go."

"No," I screamed as Bron and Johanna took me by the arms and dragged me away.

"Run!" Peeta screamed as he dropped to his knees. "I love you, Katniss."

"No, Peeta. Let go of me," I wailed as Bron carried me on his shoulder. "Peeta, please." I yelled and beat my fist on his broad back. "I love you, Peeta. I love you." Seconds later the world turned white blinding me.

I woke up and gasped as his name escaped my quivering lips. I felt hands shaking my shoulders. "Katniss, wake up," Delly screamed at me. "You're having a nightmare." She held me in her arms as I tried to calm myself from my nightmare. "Shh, you're just dreaming Katniss. Peeta's not dead. We can't think like that, okay."

I continued to sob as I remembered remnants of my dream. "I'm sorry I woke you guys," I simpered. I felt lost and empty. I missed having Peeta's comforting arms around me.

"It's all right, Katniss," Delly said. "It's been a rough night. I'm not surprised that you dreamt of Peeta. It's okay. We understand." Johanna reached over and took my shaking hands into hers.

"You want to talk about it?" Johanna asked. I shook my head, as I wasn't prepared to reveal that Gale was also featured in my nightmare.

"It just the usual," I confessed. "Peeta is dying and there isn't anything I could do to save him."

"You haven't had a nightmare this bad in a while," Delly inquired. "Not since you and Peeta have been sleeping together."

I blushed at her comment. It was true that sleeping with Peeta abated my nightmares. The frequency lessened but I still had them nonetheless. "I still have them but not as much when Peeta is with me, " I croaked as my voice shook.

"How did you deal with them before?" Johanna asked.

"I just did," I said. "Dr. Aurelius suggested that I keep journal. Sometimes, I would write about them. It helped a little."

"You're scared, Katniss. You're worried about Peeta. It's okay to be scared," Delly announced. "Stay positive and focused. We need you. Peeta needs you."

"Just stay strong for him," Johanna said. "We're going to find him." I nodded in gratitude since my throat felt tight and no words would form from their encouragement. "What time is it anyway?"

"Four thirty-three," Bron answered. "Since we're all up, why don't we head back home? I don't think I'll be able to sleep." We packed up, eager to get home. I hoped that Peeta would be waiting for us.

An hour later, we reached a ridge when the sun rose from horizon. The sunrise reminded me that this was part of the day that Peeta loved the most. Orange and pink tinted sky. I held my tears as we stood still watching the sun rise before us. I needed this moment to quell my fears and anxiety. I took a deep cleansing breath. The visage of the new day brought hope that we will find Peeta soon. I couldn't think otherwise.

"Oh, my God," Delly gasped. "Katniss, take a look at this." She pointed to a tall tree with a wide trunk behind us. It was the tallest tree in the forest. On our eye level were etchings of initials. PM X KE with the infinite symbol underneath the letters. I fingered the letters with adoration and awe.

"When do you think he did this?" Delly asked.

"I don't know but it doesn't look older than maybe 2 years," Johanna informed us. We looked at her with an inquisitive stare. "What, I live in District 7. We know all about trees. See the bark, its not too weathered or worn from the elements."

"Oh my," Delly cooed. "Isn't that a Blue jay? I haven't seen those since before…" She went silent. Animals and all wildlife left the perimeter of the original town. For the last few months birds and small animals returned symbolizing the return of life at District 12. The land was healing itself.

"Hey, isn't that a parachute from the games," Bron said as he reached above us at a branch hanging over our heads. He handed it to me as I eyed it with caution. I flipped the cover open to reveal several letters addressed to me, Haymitch, Effie, Prim, my mother his father, and Gale. I sobbed into tears as I caressed the letters in my hands. I recognized that handsome script. It was Peeta's penmanship. I am shocked and astonished over this discovery. My astonishment turned to curiosity as to why he would pen a letter to Gale of all people.

"He must have done all this before the Quarter Quell," Johanna deduced. "How else would he have gotten the parachute if not from the first arena?" I nodded in agreement. I stared at his letters as I prayed that this isn't all I had left of him.

"Do you want a moment to read your letter?" Delly asked. They stood a few away from me to provide some privacy. "We'll be right here if you need us."

My hands shook as I unfolded the light caramel colored letter.

_My dearest Katniss,_

_If you are reading this letter then I know that you have survived the Quarter Quell. You are alive and safely home back at 12. I'm glad and overjoyed that Haymitch had at least honored my last request. He kept you alive and brought you back home to Prim. _

_You are probably wondering why I had written this letter. I'm a coward when it comes to you. I look at you and I'm tongue-tied. My mind scrambles to find words to say to you. When you're near me I am transported back in time when we were five. The first time I ever laid my eyes on and fell in love with a little girl who had a voice of an angel. Since my courage has failed time and again I want to say the words I long to say to you. Please forgive me for my cowardice._

_ I love you Katniss Everdeen. I love you with every breath I take. _

_I never knew what it meant to love someone until I met you. From afar I had adored and worshipped you, but after meeting and getting to you know you I knew that my heart was not wrong to have cherished and kept you there for 11 years. Don't roll your eyes at me. I am quite aware of your bitter and jaded outlook in life. Please know that there is more to life than surviving it. Live, Katniss. Be brave and live._

_I knew that you never felt the same way I felt for you. But I loved you regardless. For that is what love entails. Love has no debt or receipt. If given freely it can never be returned. It cannot be purchased or thrown away. I'm sorry if you have ever felt the burden of my affection for you. It was not my intention to ingratiate myself into you life. Just give yourself a chance to love and be loved. Enjoy the gift and joy of what love can offer you. Don't be afraid of it. It's not a burden or a curse. Give Gale the chance to prove that love is worth living and dying for. He loves you. No one can deny that. He's a good man, Katniss. He will love and take care of you as you deserved to be cherish and adored._

_When I am gone, I hope that every once in a while you'll think of me fondly. As you look at every sunrise, please know that I am here with you, beside you and watching over you. For my love for you is timeless and forever._

_I thank you from the bottom of my heart for letting me into your life. I will always cherish the moments we had together. I will never forget that I got to love you even for a little while. It was enough to last a lifetime. Please take care of yourself. _

_If the rumors are true, in the near future Haymitch will ask you a very important question. He will ask something of you that will change your life forever. Just remember you are not alone. Rely on Haymitch and Effie for guidance. Rely on Prim and Gale for support and comfort. Look into your heart when things get hard and when the world sets a heavy burden on your shoulders. Whatever you decide I know that you will make the right decision not just for yourself but also for Panem. _

_You are forever imbedded in my heart._

_I love you,_

_Peeta_

_P.S. I enclosed a favorite and old family recipe. It was handed down from the first Mellark baker to his children. I hope you appreciate the symbolism of what I have bequeathed to you._

I looked at a piece of paper worn from age and love. It was the recipe for Mixed Grain, Nut and Seed Bread. I broke into tears as I realized he had given me the recipe to the bread he had thrown to me years ago. He had written his final farewell letter and left me a piece of him to remember him by. I read the letter again.

Peeta was wrong. So very wrong. Gale once said that I would chose the one I couldn't survive without. But he was wrong since I would choose love and not of survival. I survived two games, a rebellion and the death of my beloved sister. If Peeta is dead I knew with certainty that I couldn't live in this world without him. Surviving was no longer enough. I needed his love, his strength and his ever-generous heart. There is no one in my world for me but him. I clutched my letter to my chest. Warm tears rolled down my cheeks as the sun hit my face. I felt Peeta's presence as the sun rose high into the sky.

"Katniss?" Johanna said as she stood beside me.

"Give me a minute, please," I begged.

"Did Peeta finally give you one of his love letters," Dell asked. I snapped my head at her direction. "He wrote so many when we were kids. I found one once when we were 14 and he got so angry with me that he didn't talk to me for a month. He didn't want anyone to find out incase they were found so he threw them all away before he left for the Quarter Quell."

I cried as I clutched his letter to my chest. "He told me that he loved me." I sobbed. "He finally said it and I…what if I'm never going to have a chance to tell him. I love him so much and I may never get a chance to tell him."

"You will, Katniss, you will." Delly encouraged me. My whole body felt like lead as we trekked back home. My eyes were swollen and my heart heavy. The evidence of Peeta's love for me solidified and acknowledged what I always known but denied. I swore that I wouldn't stop looking until he is found safe in my arms.

As we reached Haymitch's new home, I'm hungry, tired and sick at heart. I laid my worn body on a living room sofa to rest my eyes for a few moments.

* * *

**Haymitch POV – **

The next morning I woke up to an unfamiliar room and had forgotten for a second why I was there. The remnants from the charred smoke from Peeta's house filtered through my nose reminding me of yesterdays' incident. How we went from joy to celebrating Peeta's victory to fear for his disappearance rattled us to our core. I loathe to predict how Katniss will react if Peeta is dead.

Fire experts and a bomb squad scoured each remaining houses to deactivate the triggers planted in our homes. One hour later, I was given an 'all clear' signal indicating that they were cleaned and cleared from any other fire or explosive device. Too tired to return to my home I remained at the new house. I walked into the living room to find Effie in a middle of phone call. Her face looked stern and serious. She no longer looked like the Capitol Escort who had enjoyed playing the role for a better portion of her life. She hid so much of herself underneath the outlandish clothes and heavy makeup. The war changed her irrevocably just as it changed all of us.

"I hope you don't mind my keeping you company," she said as she sat down after she finished her call. "I was going to stay with Katniss but under the circumstances I thought to stay with you until they find him."

"No, I think you should leave," I said, as I brook no argument. "As a matter of fact, it's best that you retract your application and find residency elsewhere. You're not safe here with us."

"How dare you Haymitch Abernathy," she screeched. "Who the hell do you think you are?" She stood up to hover over me as I sat before her.

"I'm your oldest friend who's only thinking of your safety," I stated as I stood up to confront her. "There's a lot going on right now. I'm only suggesting this for your own good."

"If you think I'm going to abandon Katniss and Peeta in their hour need, you really don't know me at all," she hissed at me as she poked her sharp nail into my chest. I winced every time she jabbed her finger at me. "I'm moving here to be with all of you and there is nothing you can do to make me change my mind."

"Effie, please be reasonable," I asked. "Maybe when things settle down you can stay here, but now is not a good time."

"Don't tell me what to do." She stalked out the room. "I'm here to stay. Now if you'll excuse me, I am going to town and go shopping for some food and supplies. If anyone needs me I left my number on the kitchen table."

I sighed in frustration. Now there will be four stubborn women in our lives. May God help us. Feeling helpless I called Beetee for some information to secure the perimeter around the Victor's Village. We discussed several options in setting up cameras and motion detectors. In hindsight all this should have been installed but who knew that this was the outcome to Peeta's situation. He inquired why my need to order such hi tech equipment for my humble abode. After swearing him to secrecy I explained the situation at hand. Beetee was shocked but not surprised. My hopes waned as each hour passed. As our little search party returned home after sunrise I am surprised and shocked to discover that they had found Peeta's favorite spot in the woods. I recollected that day when Peeta revealed his secret to me.

* * *

**_Flashback, a day before leaving for the Quarter Quell – _**

_"Haymitch, get up," Peeta yelled into my ear. Pain exploded in my head as I blinked several times to clear my vision._

_"What da fuck, Peeta," I slurred. "I was sleeping."_

_"No, you're stinking drunk," he said as he stood over me. "You need to sober up by the time we get on the train tomorrow. Effie will be pissed at you if she you show up drunk."_

_"Fuck, Effie," I said as closed my eyes. "She not my keeper or my mother."_

_"Haymitch, I need to talk to you," Peeta said. "It's really important to me that you listen to what I have to say." His serious tone left me curious as I opened one eye. Peeta held a determined look in his eyes, but it was also a look of man who knew that his days were numbered. There was a resigned and sad look about him._

_"How you holding up, kid?" I asked. I knew that his family had pretty much abandoned him when he was reaped. It was evident when his own family didn't move in with him in the Victor's Village. He had no one with exception of a drunk and mentor that he cared for. Once Katniss set her foot off the train, she ignored and avoided Peeta until she was forced to confront him for the Victory Tour. He literally had no one in his life._

_"I'm fine, Haymitch, I made my peace and said my goodbyes to my family. I just need one last favor from you," he requested. "Do you happen to have one of those parachutes they use for the games?"_

_I opened both eyes in disbelief. "What…wait. You want a parachute?" I asked in shock. "Why? If I may ask."_

_"I just need one and I need one today," Peeta said. "Please don't ask me why. It's private and personal. It's important to me. This will be the last favor I will ever ask of you." On that note how could I deny him?_

* * *

**_Present time - _**

Peeta had given me instructions to pass to Katniss once the games were over. He was certain that he was not coming back alive and swore to me to do everything I could to help her get home. Once time had passed he had wanted me to tell Katniss of his favorite spot in the woods. My interest was peaked when he requested me to obtain a parachute from the games. I never knew what he had planned so consider me surprised when Katniss showed up holding the parachute with letters on hand. One letter was addressed to me. I failed to mention that I gave Peeta three parachutes. What he did with the other two, I don't know. My hands shook as she passed the small envelope to me then she laid down on the sofa to rest her eyes. With Katniss asleep beside me, I had been staring at the envelope for nearly an hour when Delly marched into the house with a digital pad in her hand. Her face was panicked and her lips trembled. It was not good news I assumed by her posture.

"I need to show you something," she said.

"Does this have anything to do concerning Peeta?" I asked. She nodded her head once. "Then we better wait until Katniss is awake. She should hear this too." Katniss moaned as if she's in pain. I realized that she in the midst of another nightmare. I shook her as gently as I could without startling her. "Katniss, wake up. Delly needs to talk to us." She opened her eyes as if a thousand electrodes stung her. Her eyes wide with her mouth slightly opened.

"What's wrong?" she asked in panicked tone.

"I didn't meant to scare you but, Delly needs to tell us something," I added. "Something about Peeta." She nodded her head and sat straight up. She winced as she tilted her head.

"You know that I monitor Peeta's progress everyday," Delly explained. "I can tell when he's having an episode or when he's stressing with this digital monitoring pad." She handed the pad to Katniss. She eyed it with confusion not understanding the read out on the screen.

"See these spikes," she pointed at the screen. "Every time he has an episode this line will spike upward." I read the screen and gasped in horror. Katniss placed a hand over her mouth. "He suffered four attacks in the last 12 hours."

"Haymitch," Katniss wailed. "We need to do something. We need to find him now."

"And we better do it soon," Delly interjected. "I don't want to scare you but you need to know the truth incase…"

"What are you not telling me, Delly," Katniss screamed.

"The more episodes he has, the more it weakens his heart," she explained. "He'll either fall into a deep coma or…he'll go into cardiac arrest if he continues to suffer more episodes."

"Are you saying that he'll have a heart attack," I said needing clarification.

"Yes," Delly admitted. "This only happened once before. When he was recovering at the Capitol, his heart stopped." Katniss eyes grew wide as fat tears rolled down her checks. I remembered that day when Peeta ran into the force field in his second arena. He had died that day had it not been for Finnick who had saved his life. I watched as Katniss begged Peeta to wake up. I knew it was that very moment that she acknowledged and loved Peeta with her heart, mind, body and soul. She bent her head as her hands covered her eyes. There is no denying what she felt at the moment. The fear for his safety and the separation was slowly killing her.

"Katniss, we'll find him," I swore. "I promise we will."

"You can't say that," she sobbed. "Don't make promises you can't keep." She was inconsolable.

"Katniss, at least we know for sure that he's alive," Delly informed her. "You understand?"

She nodded her head but continued to cry. Suddenly, my phone rang startling all of us. Shit, it's Dr. Aurelius on the line. "Delly, have you been in contact with Dr. Aurelius lately?" Her eyes widen as she shook her head. "Aw shit," I cursed as I answered my phone. "Hello."

"Haymitch, I've been trying to get a hold of Nurse Cartwright all morning," he addressed me without as much of a hello. "Why has she not been answering my calls?"

"She's right here," I answered. "Did you want to speak to her?"

"What the hell is going on? I need to speak to her right now," he spouted with anger in his tone. I handed the phone to Delly who took the receiver with great caution.

"Hello, Dr. Aurelius," Delly said as she flinched. "Yes, I know. I've been meaning to call you but we ran into an emergency." She turned away and walked out the room for a reprimand I knew she was going to get from her boss. I looked back at Katniss as she wiped her face and turned to me.

"Haymitch, I'm scared," Katniss stated. Her body shook from fear and anxiety. "I have to find him, I need him so much."

"I know, Katniss," I said as I wrapped an arm around her shaking shoulders. "We'll search heaven and hell to find him."

"If he harmed one single beautiful blond hair on Peeta's head, I swear Haymitch. I'll turn Panem upside down and make him pay," she hissed, her eyes hard as steel. Love and anger coursed through her.

"Count me in," Johanna interjected as she walked into the room joining us. "What's going on? Who is Delly talking to?

"Dr. Aurelius," I answered.

"Ouch," Johanna cringed. "That's one conversation I would not like to have. Where are Bron and Effie?

"He had to go to work this morning," Katniss answered. "Effie ran into to town for some errands." No one had eaten or slept well in the past 12 hours. Effie took command of the situation and ordered us about taking care of our needs. Katniss wrung her hands together. I saw life and hope die in her eyes as Delly relayed her news to us.

Minutes later Delly ran into the room. "Oh my God, Haymitch, Katniss, you're never going to believe it but I think Dr. Aurelius knows where Peeta is," she screamed with that high pitch tone when she got exited and giddy. It pierced my eardrums.

"What do you mean?" I asked in relief.

"I couldn't lie to him so I told him everything that's been happening. He said I should have called him sooner because the wristband that Peeta is wearing," she pointed to her pad, "Dr. Aurelius also installed a tracking devise."

"What do you mean?" Katniss cried.

"Dr. Aurelius says that he has a GPS on Peeta's wristband," Delly explained. "He wanted to track Peeta's whereabouts just in case something happened to him. I didn't even know about it. But he says that he'll send us the coordinates as soon as he can. We can track him down. Even if he's not in 12 anymore we can find him anywhere as long as he's still wearing it." Hope flickered in Katniss' watery eyes.

It took five minutes but as far as I was concerned it took a lifetime when the coordinates appeared on the digital pad. We looked into the screen. The monitor displayed the outline of District 12 and all its surrounding buildings and streets. A red blip stood out indicating Peeta's present location.

"He's at the train station. Peeta's at the train station," I announced. Before anyone can move Katniss was out the door with Johanna not far behind her. "Katniss, Johanna wait for us," I yelled after them.

* * *

**Katniss POV – **

I ran leaving everyone back at the village. I couldn't think but reacted when Haymitch located Peeta's location. Johanna appeared right beside me matching stride for stride; our breath harsh and shallow. I pushed my legs further while praying that the train had not left. As we reached the platform, I searched through the crowd when a flash of blond hair caught me attention. "Peeta!" I ran towards him and pulled his arm.

"Excuse me," a young man yelped as he yanked his hand away from me. It wasn't Peeta.

"I'm sorry," I apologized. "I thought you were someone else." The stranger's eyes widen and looked back at Johanna and me, then turned back to his group of friends. I heard them whisper amongst themselves. "Hey, do you know who that was? That was Katniss Everdeen." One of his friends observed.

"Oh my God," a girl said as she approached me. "Katniss, can I have an autograph?" She extended a pen and her left arm at me. I looked at her in disbelief and impatience.

"I don't have time for this," I roared at her. She turned her back at me and walked toward her friends.

"What a bitch," she commented. "I just wanted her autograph."

Frustrated and scared, "Where is he?" I yelled into the air. People stared at me. I didn't care that I was making a fool of myself. Nothing mattered to me, but finding Peeta.

"He might be in one of the compartments," Johanna suggested. "Let's separate, you go at the head of the train and I'll look in the last compartment. We'll meet in the middle." We ran towards the train and entered a compartment. Five minutes passed and I failed to find Peeta. Johanna joined me.

"He's not here," Johanna said as we stood back at the platform.

"He has to be here," I said my voiced cracked as hope dwindled inside of me.

"Hey," Delly yelled at us. "You should have waited for me."

"He's not here, Delly," I screamed at her. "Where is he?"

"Look, he's here," she handed me her pad. "See he's here." The dot on the monitor read that Peeta was present. "We need to search every compartment. Bron is talking to his guardsmen buddies. They're searching every room as we speak."

I sighed in relief for a moment when Bron appeared before us a few minutes later. "Come on, I found him."

I ran after him. In the last car of the train, which are reserved for long travel between districts, we find Peeta huddled in a fetal position. I cried out to him. He's blindfolded and handcuffed to wheelchair situated next him lying on its side. The room looked as if it's been ransacked.

"Peeta," I sobbed in joy as I placed his head on my lap. I removed his blindfold to find him unconscious. "Peeta, wake up, please!" I placed my forehead onto his. "Please, Peeta."

"Katniss, let him go so I can check him," Delly ordered. I held onto him harder grateful to have him back in my arms. "Katniss, give me a minute to check for any injuries." I let him go as Delly checked his vitals. I placed my head on his chest to assure myself that his heart was still beating. It was low and weak. I then realized that Peeta was dressed in white. The same suit he wore when he and Johanna appeared with President Snow during their incarceration. I looked up to Johanna whose face was filled with anger and fear. There's a sickening smell of roses in the air. I wanted to throw up. "He seems to be okay. I don't see any visible injuries. But there is large bump on his forehead." She gestured to Bron, "We need to get him to the hospital."

"Why isn't her waking up?" I asked as I placed him back in my lap.

"He's unconscious," Delly observed. "I can access his injuries better at the hospital." Bron picked up Peeta's unconscious body and placed on the wheelchair. He removed the handcuffs as I placed a blanket to cover his legs. We wheeled him onto the platform to find several people taking Peeta's picture as we walked passed them.

"Stop it right now. All of you stop and leave Peeta alone," Johanna screamed at the crowd. "Put down all your cameras right now." She continued to scream. "Anyone who doesn't stop is going to meet my fist with your face." The crowd stood and dropped their cameras. They stopped for when Victor Johanna Mason threatened you; she never backed off from her threat. One tall large man took a photo. He smugly smiled at Johanna back in defiance. Without hesitation, Johanna walked right up to him. He stood a foot taller than her. She swung her arm and punched the man right in stomach and he went down like a tree. "Anyone else?" she announced as she raised her fist at them. There is no doubt that this incident will reach the media and all over Panem.

I held onto Peeta's hand as we wheeled him to the hospital. I sighed in relief and frustration. He's safe and alive. He was returned to me. I don't know how much more Peeta can take. He took one positive step to his future to be derailed with this last incident. My only focus now is to stand by him, support and take care of him. More than ever my need for Peeta magnified. I will do everything to ensure his safety because his survival is bound to my own.

One hour later, I'm tired and happy at the same time. Peeta is safe with Delly. Johanna has been pacing the room like a caged animal. We wait with bated breath for any news regarding Peeta. Bron has left to secure his room and provide security for Peeta's stay at the hospital. Both Effie and Haymitch had disappeared as soon as they were informed of Peeta's safe return. They have been answering phones calls from everyone, which included President Paylor. Peeta's appearance in his white suit caused many speculations and rumors of another mental down. None of this mattered to me. All I wanted was to see and be with him. I needed the reassurance that he was safe and uninjured. Sleep has eluded me. I can no longer sleep without him beside me, to hold me and listen to him breathe as I placed my head on his chest; to feel his heartbeat underneath my hands and to watch the rise and fall of chest. These are images and sounds that lulled me to sleep.

"I told you, Katniss," Johanna interrupted my daydream. "I told you he'd be coming back to you." I smiled so wide my cheeks ached.

She took my hand as she sat next to me. "This was close though, too close," Johanna stated. "We have to do something soon, Katniss. The next time he has Peeta we might not be so lucky." I winced at her implication but I knew that she was right.

"Can we not talk about the what ifs for now?" I said. "I'm just happy that he's back with us, Johanna. That's all I care about right now." She nodded her head in agreement as she squeezed my hand. I leaned into the chair and took deep breath. The events of day had finally caught up with me as I felt exhaustion and adrenaline leave my aching body. For today, all my thoughts and energy are focused on Peeta. His safety and his health come first. Nothing else matters.

* * *

**AN: Wow, thank you for those who took time to write a review. Thank you, thank you. I know that I've been diligent in updating weekly but since my new job is keeping very busy I'm afraid that I can no longer keep up with my scheduled updates. I try to give myself a deadline since it keeps me focused on the story. I'll try my best to update weekly if I can. Thanks again for the reviews and for taking time to read ****_"The Weary Heart_**_.**" **_**Until the next time, have a great week.**


	17. Chapter 17 - A New Journey

Chapter 17 – A New Journey

_AN: Hello, everyone. Thank you for you patience and for reading my fic. Mature and graphic topic up ahead. Please read at your discretion and you are of age._

* * *

**Johanna POV –**

_'I hate this,'_ I mumbled to myself. _'I really hate hospitals.'_ If given a choice I wouldn't be here, but my best friend has been returned to us. In what condition, I don't know and I'm afraid to know. Underneath the pristine white suit I could tell he was injured with bruises around his leg, arms and neck. I gritted my teeth from anger and hatred to whoever done this to Peeta. I feel as though I'm ready to explode but I calmed myself for his sake. I need to be clear and focused because Peeta will need me. His condition all brought back memories of our time in the Capitol. The days and nights of sleep deprivation, starvation and our abuse flitted in my mind. I can hear our screams and cry of help echoing in my head. The more images I recalled, the angrier I got. I relished in the anger and hate for without it I would succumb to despair and helplessness. I hated feeling weak.

I turned to my left to find Katniss in a state of relief and fear. For who knew what had been done to him when he disappeared. When we wheeled him back to the hospital I saw a familiar injury on his neck. 'God I hope that is not what I think it is.' I cringed to myself. I looked to Delly who appeared to acknowledge my suspicion. I just hope I'm wrong.

"Any news?" Haymitch asked as he appeared before us interrupting my thoughts. I shook my head. He sat next to Katniss as he reached over and held her hand. "He's okay now, Katniss. He's back safe with us." I could tell she was trying not to break down and cry.

The silence between us was ominous and unsettling. "We need to do something, Haymitch," I stated.

"I know," he returned.

"He got to him," I seethed in anger. "We put our guard down and he almost got away with it. This can't happen again."

"Johanna, please. Save you energy and anger for another time, " Haymitch interrupted my rant. "Peeta's back with us and we need to focus on him right now."

I stared at Katniss' state of being. She looked pale and exhausted from the lack o of sleep and worry. "Where's Effie?" I asked surprised that she wasn't around.

"Putting out fires," Haymitch stated. "It's all over the news. I've been fielding calls from Dr. Aurelius, President Paylor and Caesar Flickerman. Effie is working on making a statement tomorrow morning." I shook my head in understanding. Thank god that Effie was here with us. I may resent what she represented but I knew that she cared for Peeta and Katniss. Those two never realized what effect they had on people.

"He was so happy," Katniss said in a low tone. Her face etched with regret and sadness. "Peeta was so happy when he won the contest. I haven't seen him smile like that in a long time." She gulped as she took a deep breath she was holding.

"He's with us again, Katniss," Haymitch reassured her. "He won't get another chance to get him again. I promise you, Katniss. He won't hurt him again."

"I know, Haymitch," Katniss returned. "He's never leaving my side again, ever." I saw a determined look on her face. It was a look of a woman in love. I've never seen it on her before. I knew she loved Peeta but this look brook no argument of her feelings for him.

"I swear to you, Katniss," I swore to her. "He won't get another opportunity to get near Peeta ever again. He'll have to go through all of us."

The next moment Delly appeared with a woman in her late 30's addressing us. She was a tall woman with long dark hair and blue eyes. She appeared Capitol breed with her beauty and stature. Her hair had a tint of blue coloring as her nails were well manicured in a shade of deep purple. I would have never guessed she was a doctor living and working in District 12.

"Guys, this is Dr. Kara Templeton, Peeta's doctor for District 12," Delly announced. We stood as they approached us. "Dr. Templeton I think you know everyone here."

"Yes, please just call me Kara," she said as she tipped her head in acknowledgement. "No need for formalities. I'll get straight to the point. First, Peeta has been secured in a private room away from the general public. I know that is your main concern for now. Guardsmen Masters is with him to put all your mind at ease."

"Thank you, this mean a lot to us." Haymitch stated. "How's Peeta?"

"He's resting right now. When you brought him in he was heavily sedated with a drug that has rendered him unconscious for probably the next 12 hours. Whoever did this to him used a drug only known to sedate animals before they are about to be slaughtered. It's humane and painless but very effective if you want to put someone to sleep for a long time. Besides, the bruise on his right cheek, there are lacerations on his right arm indicating needle marks. I've been his main physician since his arrival, I'm assuming that Peeta doesn't partake in any recreational drugs?"

"No, never." Katniss acknowledged.

"Why do you ask?" Haymitch responded at the same time.

"There are traces of a hallucinogen in his blood stream," Kara informed us. "The other injuries are…I don't know how to say this but…"

"Please just tells us," Katniss said. Her eyes brimmed with tears.

"He was bound by his hands and legs. The bruising on his forehead appeared to be self-inflicted," she continued.

"How can you tell?" I asked.

"The angle of the bruise is dead center as if he was pounding his head on something," she explained. I remembered one of Peeta's episodes as he knelt on his knees and pounded his head on the ground to prevent him from attacking anyone around him.

"There are bruises on his knees like he was kept in that position for a quite a while," she added confirming my assumption. "His end left leg is raw and swollen from kneeling for a long period of time. I suspect that he wore a collar since there are also bruises around his neck." Katniss gasped. Kara looked uneasy as if she was trying to figure out how to deliver more painful news. "I uhm…" She took a deep breath. "Peeta has two puncture wounds on his neck. One is to rendered him speechless, paralyzing his vocal chords and the other…he was "Snowed.'

"Fucking hell," I screamed. I was right. Haymitch's eyes were round from shock as the news hit him. "I fucking knew it. I'll kill him. We need to find this fucker." I continued to rage. Delly's eyes misted with tears.

"I don't understand," Katniss cried. "What do you mean he was 'Snowed'?" She addressed Kara and looked at Delly for an explanation. "What? What is it?" Delly turned white.

"It's a term that the Victor's used when Snow would drug us," Haymitch explained as I paced around the room trying to contain my rage. "He used it to Victors who were uncooperative when he…sold you to his clients."

Katniss looked puzzled. "I don't understand." I forgot that Katniss never knew what happened to the winner of the games. She was saved by Peeta's declaration of his love for her making them the Star-Crossed Lovers of District 12. Snow wouldn't and couldn't touch them.

"What Haymitch is trying to say is that you were sold as prostitutes to the highest bidder when you became a Victor." I hissed. "If you didn't cooperate he either killed members of your family or drugged you so you would be compliant and used as sex slaves." Katniss broke down into tears.

"Are you saying that Peeta was raped?" Katniss sobbed as Haymitch held her in his arms.

"There's no evidence but we can't be sure," Kara said. My anger exponentially flared. "and…" She looked to Delly. "There's a long bruise on his left upper arm and shoulders. At least the cuts on his arms are healed so I removed the stitches. He's in bad shape but I'm glad to say that he has no internal injuries that I can tell. I've been concern with his lack of gain weight in that past several months, but I guess that's another topic to discuss later. We did a full body scan so most of his injuries are external with the exception of his vocal chords being paralyzed and the plethora of drugs pumped into his system."

"Why would he do that?" Katniss asked.

"So he can't scream," I seethed. "He can't yell for help." I wanted to vomit as images of his torture surfaced in my mind.

"There's more," Delly said. She had been quiet and still throughout the exchange. "Whoever took Peeta took care of him…sprayed him with a perfume of roses. Dressed him like a plaything. I don't know how to say this but… he was meticulously groomed, his nailed cut and body shaved. All of him was shaved. And," she continued, "He's wearing a pair of diamond studs on both his ear lobes."

I turned to Delly. "That doesn't make any sense," I yelled. "Why abduct Peeta, beat him, tie him up like an animal and groom him?" There is no sense or reason for his groomed state as I thought a few months back when his house was broken into and the graffiti on the walls. Nothing added up. "Why would he stalk Peeta, abduct, doll him up and fucking burn his house down."

"Johanna is right," Haymitch agreed. "It doesn't make sense unless he's trying not to hurt Peeta. Maybe he wants him for another reason. Remember months before when someone tasered him in his backyard?"

"Whatever for if he doesn't want him dead," Katniss said.

"He was 'Snowed' for a reason," Haymitch added. "There is only one reason why he used that drug. He had Peeta where he wanted him. He should be dead if that was his plan. You don't dress him up and hold him hostage for hours if you want him head. He was preparing Peeta."

"For what?" Katniss asked.

Delly shook her head in rapid succession, "No, no," she gasped in horror. "You can't mean what I think you're implying."

"You said he was 'Snowed," I said. "It can only mean one thing. He wants Peeta. Not to kill him but to…sell him."

"You can't sell Peeta without anyone knowing what they're doing. Everyone knows Peeta Mellark." Delly screeched. "It would be against his will. That's slavery."

"There's the underground sex trade," Haymitch added. "Just because Snow sold the Victor's didn't' mean that it didn't happen to other people. It's a well-known fact. Besides, there plenty of Peeta look alike out there in the sex trade."

I heard of rumors that people in other districts were disappearing especially if you were under 18 and an orphan. The sex trade was a big business in the Capitol. Also, Panem hated Peeta for his 'betrayal' to Katniss. If the real Peeta disappeared no one would care. It wouldn't surprise me if he was considered a high commodity to sex traders.

Since Peeta and Katniss couldn't be sold to Snow's clientele many imitators were created to satisfy the citizens of the Capitol. They were untouchable to Snow. They were lucky that they protected each other.

"You know," Delly said. "All this time, we keep thinking that Peeta's stalker is a man, what if we've been wrong and he is actually a she. Maybe his stalker wants him for herself."

"You underestimate Peeta's popularity as a Victor," I corrected her. "Did you forget that he also got letters from men as well as women. You can't be that naïve, Delly"

"Delly's right though," Haymitch interjected. "We can't rule out that Peeta's stalker could be female. Peeta could have been lured by a woman, he's too innocent of the world to suspect that a woman would do him any harm." Katniss look of fear turned to anger and jealousy as I watched her hands clenched opened and closed by her side. "Whoever he or she is, this person knows about the drug and took great pains to dress him up while he was sedated. He or she is still dangerous in my opinion."

"Oh my God, this can't be happening," Katniss cried. "I need to see him, I need to see him now."

"Katniss, he's resting," Delly said.

"Besides, Peeta will be sleeping for most of the day," Kara added.

"I don't care," she pleaded. "Please I need to see him. I'm not leaving without seeing him. I won't disturb him. I want to be there when he wakes up." Delly looked at Kara who nodded her in approval. I took a step to follow Katniss as Haymitch pulled me by the elbow.

"When you finishing visiting Peeta, I need you to pack a bag because you're taking a trip," Haymitch said.

"I'm not going anywhere," I hissed. I couldn't leave Peeta now.

"Please Johanna, I wouldn't ask unless it's important," he insisted. "It's for Peeta."

"Where am I going," I asked.

"District 13," Haymitch said. I nodded then proceeded to see Peeta before I left. I walked down the hallway to find Delly and Bron whispering to each other. She appeared angry with Bron.

"Where's Katniss?" I asked. Delly pointed to two doors ahead of us.

"I thought she should see him first," Delly said with sympathy and concern in her eyes. "It's been really hard for her." I nodded in agreement as I observed Delly and Bron's odd behavior. "What's up with you two?"

"Delly tell her, you can't keep this from Katniss," Bron said. "She deserves to know."

"What is it now?" I inquired as my patience was worn thin.

"Bron told me that while we were away, Peeta had a visitor," Delly stated.

"Who?" I asked.

"Take one good guess," she said her mood somber but with a tinge of amusement.

"You got to be kidding me," I said.

"She tried to get pass Bron when he caught her in time from entering Peeta's room," Delly added. "She's persistent I give her that."

"She's becoming problematic and a nuisance," I uttered. "How did she find him so fast?"

"She works here, remember?" Delly reminded me. It was amusing at first that Peeta had another admirer. Her attention to him sent Katniss into a jealous frenzy. But her persistence and annoying presence was starting to grate my nerves. The woman had a death wish if she didn't realize that Katniss had claimed Peeta as her own.

"When are you going to tell her?" I inquired.

"That's what we're arguing about," Delly stated. "I don't want her to know right now. She's has too many things to handle let alone telling her about Eva."

"You promised no secrets with each other," Bron hissed.

"I'm not keeping it a secret," she sneered back at him. "She doesn't need to know right now. I want to give her some time to be with Peeta and not worry about Eva. Leave them alone. They deserve a private moment after everything they've been through. Can't we just give them that?" Bron appeared apologetic.

"Delly's right, Bron," I agreed with her. "Telling Katniss that Eva tried to sneak into his room would only upset her. Who knows how she'd react right now." I turned to Delly and Bron. "You do realize that you're never going to get Katniss out that room now that she's with him."

"I figured," she said with a small smile on her face. They both looked haggard and worn. We all did from worry and relief. The last twenty-four had us up and down with our emotions. Delly leaned into his side as Bron placed a kiss to her forehead. "That's why I asked Dr. Templeton if Peeta's room be furnished with another bed so Katniss can stay with him for as long as he's here. She knew not to fight me on this. She said she would never argue with Katniss Everdeen." She winked at me. I smiled back as Delly giggled. I signed in relief for Delly's foresight and gesture. It made my leaving easier to handle knowing that Peeta was in good hands.

After returning home and learning Haymitch's instructions for trip to 13, I decided to visit Peeta before I left. I didn't want him to worry when he asked where I would be in the next couple of days. As I reached his room, several people were running about.

"What's going on?" I asked as I approached his room to find four men pining Peeta to his bed by his hands and feet. "What the hell are you doing to him?" I screamed at them. Peeta was screaming and thrashing in his bed threatening to fall off as the men tried to secure him. Two guardsmen appeared at his door.

"We found him on the floor. He was screaming and yelling," one of the nurses said.

"Johanna, where is Johanna? Annie!" he screamed like an animal in pain. His eyes were wild and lost. "Johanna!"

"Just leave him alone can't you see he's having a panic attack," I said as I tried to pry one of them off him. Delly entered the room.

"Oh my God, what's going on?" she screamed.

"I don't know. I just got here. They're only making it worse by grabbing him like that," I told her. "Delly, tell him to release him. He's going to hurt himself more if they pin him down like that. He thinks we're back in the Capitol." I tempered my anxiety and fear as I realized that Peeta had awoken to a room unfamiliar to him. His mind had transported him back to our time in the Capitol. It was heart breaking watching him relive our worst nightmares.

"What do you mean?" she asked confused and unaware of Peeta's mental state.

"He's yelling for me and Annie," I bellowed from impatience as realization hit Delly.

"Let him go, guys," Delly instructed in a calm and demanding voice.

"But what if starts attacking her?" a male attendant yelled.

"Let Johanna go to him, he won't hurt her," she continued. "Just let him go."

"Peeta, it's me, Johanna," I said as I approached him. "I'm here now. Don't struggle anymore, I'm here."

"Johanna?" he croaked as he calmed down upon hearing my voice. "Where are we? Where's Annie?" The four attendees stood back but hovered over him.

"Peeta, Annie is in District 4, remember?" I reminded him. "You're home now in District 12." An attendee stood close to him so I pushed him out of the way to stand next to Peeta.

"That's not real," he shook his head in denial. "All that is a dream, we're still in the Capitol. Snow is…"

"Snow is dead, Peeta," I reassured him as he grabbed me by the waist and placed his head on my chest. "He's been dead for a while now. You're home in 12 with me, Delly and Katniss." My voiced muffled as I placed a kiss on his forehead.

"Katniss and Delly? They're here?" he said in wonder. I nodded my head. "See over there, that's Delly."

"Hey, Peeta," Delly announced herself as she approached us.

"You're real," he asked as Delly nodded to him. She reached over to grab his shaking hand.

"I know you're confused so I want you to close your eyes for a moment, okay?' I instructed him. "Close you eyes for me. What is your last memory before you woke up?"

He closed his eyes but held me as he placed his ear to my heart. "I think…I thought I dreamt…I'm in a white room. I can't move because…" He stopped and gasped.

"Peeta, what's wrong?" I asked, as he pulled away and lay on the bed facing away from me.

"Please don't make me remember," he said in harsh whisper.

"Peeta," I inquired.

"Please Johanna, just stop," his voice and breath heavy from his exertion. " I can't talk about it right now. I need…"

"What the hell is going on?" Katniss' voice shrieked in the air as she entered the room. "Why are all these people here?"

"Peeta woke up in a panic," Delly informed her. "Can you guys clear the room?" The four attendants and guardsmen left as instructed. "He's okay, Katniss. He woke up alone and it confused him."

"You said you wouldn't leave him if I left," Katniss hissed in anger. "You promised to be here in case he woke up." I guess she gone home to pick a change of clothes for her stay with Peeta.

"He was still asleep, Katniss," Delly defended herself. "How did I know he would wake up when I left for a few minutes? Kara said he'd sleep most of the day."

"Well, you were wrong," Katniss hissed. "He woke up alone."

"Will you two just the fuck up," I shouted at them as they bickered with each other. "It would have mattered if you were here, he still work up in panic attack." Peeta raised both hands and wrapped them around his head. "Peeta, does your head hurt?" Their argument forgotten, Katniss was at his side as Delly also approached him.

"Peeta, are you okay?" Delly asked him as she check on is wristband.

"Everything is bright…and loud," he answered in a low tone. He looked up and stared at the three of us when his eyes connected with Katniss. "I thought I was back in the Capitol." Katniss grabbed his hand and squeezed tight. "You're here."

"Yes, I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke. You're here with us, you're safe," she said to him as she placed his hand against her chest. "No one is every going to touch you again. I promise."

I heard him whisper 'real, real' to himself as he stared at Katniss and Delly.

"I'm sorry, Peeta," Delly said. "I didn't mean for you to wake up alone."

"Delly," he said in hushed tone. "I want to go home." My heart broke as I realized that he had no home to go home to. I eyed Delly and Katniss as they too were speechless.

"You can't, Peeta. You need to stay for at least for tonight," Delly informed him.

"I don't like it here," he whimpered. He started to shake. "I want to go home. I can't sleep here. I don't want to be here." He closed his eyes for a moment as he took several breaths to calm himself.

"Hey, what if I told you that Katniss can stay with you," Delly encouraged. "You won't be alone, I'll be around so if you need me I'm just a call away." She pointed to a button on a remote. "If you need me just press this button and they'll get me anytime, okay?" He sighed in relief as he held onto Katniss' hand. "I didn't think you'll mind staying with him, do you Katniss?" She blushed and nodded her head.

Peeta looked unaffected by Delly's encouragement. "Can you two give me a moment with Johanna?" Peeta asked. Katniss bit her lower lip as she looked at Peeta.

"I'll be outside the door," she said as she leaned over and kissed his cheek. He sighed as her lips made contact with his skin. She lingered for a moment then placed her forehead against his. She then walked out the room with Delly.

"Johanna, I don't want to stay here," Peeta pleaded with me. "He's going to find me again and I can't…"

"Hey, he won't. I promise you he won't," I swore to him. "We messed up. I swear Peeta, he won't get another chance."

"You can't say that," Peeta said.

"Peeta, please believe me when I tell you that he's never to hurt you again," I promised him. "Haymitch, Katniss and I, all of us are going to make sure that he never gets another opportunity."

"Thank you," he said somewhat relieved but not assured of my promise to him. "Thank you for finding me."

"We would have scoured Panem to find you," I said. "Katniss would have made sure of that." He smiled and blushed at the same time. "Actually, I just came by to tell you that I'm going away for a few days," I said. "There's an errand that Haymitch wants me to do so…" Peeta quickly grabbed me as he pulled me towards him.

"You can't go," he said with panic in his eyes.

"I'm just going to be gone for a few days, 3 days at the most," I added.

"He'll come after you," he continued as he started to rise out of the bed.

"Hey, he won't," I said. "Get back on the bed, Peeta, you'll hurt yourself." I pointed to his leg without the prosthesis. "You're not going anywhere."

"I want to go with you," he insisted.

"Peeta, you need to stay," I said. "You're safer here in 12." He sat up in bed with his leg hanging over the mattress as he looked around for his fake leg. Delly was able to secure a light green pajama set that made him paler than normal.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I'm going to 13," I answered him as I sat next to him. "Hey, I'm going to be okay. I'll feel better knowing that you're here with everyone to take care of you."

"I can't live like this always looking over my shoulder," he gritted his teeth. "If he can't get me he'll came after one of you and…if that happens I don't know how I'm supposed to live I with myself if one of you gets hurt because of me." His breathing became erratic.

"Calm down," I insisted. "I can easily get in and out of 12 if I'm by myself. He's too focused on you to go after anyone." I grabbed his hand to reassure him. "Besides, you should stay incase he goes after Katniss. If he really wants to hurt you, he'll go after her and you have to be here. You know I'm right so you need to stay." He leaned against me that I wrapped an arm around his shoulder.

"Don't do anything stupid," he said as he stared into my eyes, challenging me. "I know you, Johanna. Don't go after him by yourself, please. I need you."

"I need you, too. You're the only family I have left that I trust," I confessed. "I promise I won't do anything stupid. Besides, I'm looking forward to see you open up your bakery." I smiled at him because it's true. I looked forward to the future, to watch Katniss court him. To watch their relationship blossom and grow. It was endearing and amusing to see them together now. If there is one certainty in life, I knew that Katniss would protect him with her life as he would with his.

* * *

**Katniss POV –**

I paced up and down the hallway waiting for Johanna to finish talking to Peeta. I'm anxious and upset that he asked for her and not me. I shouldn't be jealous of their friendship but it stung that he leaned on her when he's scared or upset. I however am not accustomed to sharing Peeta with anyone. His affection and devotion to his friends are part of him that I must accept, it being only Delly and Johanna or any woman that enters his life. I'm possessive with the remaining people in my life. Especially Peeta. My anxiety must be apparent since I noticed Delly's look of amusement on her face.

"What!" I exclaimed as I stopped pacing.

"Don't be jealous of Johanna," she interjected, "Just because he asked for her doesn't mean anything. You should know by now that that there is only one girl for Peeta."

"I'm not jealous," I lied. "I just got him back. I want to be with him." I blushed. "Is it that obvious?"

"To every one," Delly said in amusement.

"Not to Peeta," I sighed.

"Hey, he's a little distracted now," Delly informed me. "You just need to be patient with him. He's worth waiting for, don't you think?" I smiled at her and nodded in agreement. "He loves you, you know? He's just not used to your attention. After pining for you for so long, I think it's hard for him to believe that his feeling are returned."

"Argh, I'm not the most patient person in the world," I cried in frustration.

"You're not patient?" Delly teased. "I wouldn't have guessed."

"It just breaks my heart knowing that this is how he must have felt all those years…when he loved me," I sighed. "It must have killed him every time he saw me with Gale because it kills me every time I see any woman talk to him, touch him. He's mine damnit!"

"And all of Panem knows it," she giggled as I laughed in return when I think of my open declaration during the baking competition. I still have yet to confront Peeta about that incident. I felt somewhat relieved and hopeful for Delly's encouragement and support.

"So I was thinking," Delly said. "With everything that's been going on, you, Peeta, Bron and I should do on a double date. We need a night of fun, just the four of us."

"What about Johanna?" I asked. I didn't want her to feel left out. It just didn't seem right.

"Haymitch is sending her on a errand," she answered. "She'll be busy for the next few days. She's probably telling Peeta now of her plans. In the meantime, I think it's a perfect time to set up a double date with Peeta."

My brow lifted. "Date," I gulped. With Peeta. Warmth bubbled in my chest. I have never been in a date before. The possibility had me excited and scared at the same time. A date with Peeta. "Um…I don't think that Peeta would agree to a double date, Delly. Like you said, too much is gong on right now."

"That is why it's the perfect time to go," she said. "Just think about it. I don't think Peeta would turn down an opportunity to go out on a date with you. He's been dreaming about asking you out all his life."

"That was before," I said. Before the Quell, the hijacking and tracker venom that poisoned his mind and turned him against me. Turning his love for me into hate.

"For god's sake, Katniss, you're already sleeping with him," Dell guffawed. "You two are doing things backwards. Going out on a date should be easy."

"Delly, it's not like that," I gasped in embarrassment. "Yes, we are sleeping together, but we not 'sleeping' together, you know what I mean. It doesn't mean anything. He doesn't want me that way." If he had our relationship should have progressed into the next level.

"If he didn't want you, why else would he have come back to 12?" Delly questioned. "He could have gone anywhere. His mind may be scrambled but deep in his heart, you're still there."

"I don't know, Delly," I said. "He's so skittish around me."

"Katniss, I'm only going to say this one more time," she said in an authoritative manner as she pointed her little delicate finger at me. "He does still love you, he's just afraid to act on it. He spent years pining after you. Of course, it hurt when he saw you with Gale. But it's also on him for not saying anything to you all those years before you got reaped." I remembered the letter and the contents. We are both cowards. "It's about time that you told him how you feel about him. You're the Mockingjay, you had all of Panem behind you and led a fight against the Capitol. You fought a monster and won. Telling Peeta how you feel about him should be easy."

Easy, she thinks this is easy. Killing Coin was easy. "You're wrong, that was just an image, Delly," I said. "Fighting the Capitol was much easier than this. I'm just a girl who wanted to survive and keep my sister alive. I never wanted that. I'm just Katniss Everdeen. The Mockingjay was just an image that was forced upon me."

"And Peeta Mellark was just a boy who loved you since he was five," Delly said. "You two are special, why else had fate picked you two? Despite the war and Snow, fate brought you together, you belong together."

I felt embarrassed by her image of Peeta and me. "Peeta is the only person who ever saw the real me," I confessed. "He loved me despite my stubbornness, my bitter and jaded view of the world."

"And you loved him despite your denial and resentment," she added. "He has memories of you walking away, Katniss." I cringed for every memory of my avoidance and denial of his feelings for me. "That day in the beach during the Quarter Quell, he told you that no one needed him. You told him that you needed him. That memory, he doesn't believe it happened. He has no good memory of you together that wasn't forced or pretending to be in love in front of a camera. And you're behavior towards him in 13 didn't help either."

"He tried to kill me." I justified. "I wanted him with me and first thing he did was wrap his hand around my neck. I almost died."

"True, but what did you do afterwards?" Delly reminded me. "You ignored him, made it perfectly clear that you hated him and flaunted your relationship with Gale. I'm not saying you didn't have the right to be scared of him. But you didn't have to be mad at him for what Snow did to him."

"I know, Delly," I acknowledged. "I know."

"One more thing and I'll shut up," she said. "Just remember this when you lose patience and get frustrated with him. He's the only living survivor of a tracker venom poisoning. Everyone that was tortured in that manner died, they never lived passed six months. We're lucky that he's alive and with us."

"I'll try to be patient with him, I promise," I swore to Delly. "He's all I want. I just don't like other women looking at him."

"Sorry, Katniss but that is something you're going to have to live with," Delly teased. "He is dreamy with his wavy blond hair, crystal blue eyes and sweet demeanor. He's just the sweetest and loving guy you'll ever know. Once he's yours, he'll love, adore and cherish you for the rest of your life."

"Yeah, I know," I said with a sigh. "I just never thought I would be like this or felt this way for a guy, you know? And we're talking about Peeta. I never had to share him before."

"You two are hopeless," she continued to laugh. Her eyes twinkled in amusement as she winked at me. "You're a very lucky girl, Katniss Everdeen."

"What the hell is that suppose to mean?" I shrieked.

"I'm his nurse, Katniss," she said in nonchalant manner. My eyes narrowed at her implication. "What? I'm just saying…" She wiggled her brows at me. "He's quite impressive if you know what I mean."

"Not you too," I accused her. "Johanna said something to me about seeing Peeta naked. I didn't ask her about it because it wasn't a good time and now you've seen Peeta naked too."

Delly laughed so hard her cheeks turned a bright pink. "Oh, Katniss, you're the only one that hasn't seen him naked. And you're the one in loved with him."

"I have too," I corrected her. "I wasn't really looking since I was too busy trying to save his life. I was too embarrassed then." I blushed red at my admission. I only saw glimpses of him during the time we hid in the cave. "He wasn't my boyfriend. Seeing him naked was the last thing I ever expected."

"Don't worry," she said. "Just make sure that Peeta is aware that you're staking a claim on him."

"I want him to be my boyfriend," I said in awe. "Peeta Mellark is going to be my boyfriend whether he likes it or not." The more I said out loud the more I like it. Peeta is my boyfriend. "Why the hell are other women seeing my boyfriend naked before me?"

"Just figuring that out now?" Delly said in teasing manner. "Katniss, he's been yours long before you realized it. As for seeing him naked, all you have to do is ask or better yet try seducing him."

"Delly, you're incorrigible," I said as the thought of undressing Peeta appealed to me. She laughed at my dreamy and lustful state. My joy deflated when I looked past Delly to find Eva Perry walking toward us with a bouquet of white roses in a crystal vase. White roses; is she out of her mind? My smile turned into a scowl within seconds. My mood turned so fast it made Delly's mind spin.

"Katniss, what's the matter?" Delly asked as my demeanor changed. She turned around and watched as Eva approached us. "What are you doing here? This is a private section. Only patient family and hospital personnel are allowed here."

"This," she gestured to the vase of flowers to us, "is for Peeta. I wanted to make sure he got it."

"How did you get past the guards?" Delly asked.

"I showed them my ID and told them I was making a delivery," she said.

"Peeta is not receiving any gifts or flowers," I explained. Since his hospitalization, many flowers, letters and gifts arrived sending their regards and well wishes for his recovery. The gestures were overwhelming. His reputation and popularity took a turn after the baking competition aired that evening; despite the scandalous photos taken at the train station. Panem was falling in love with Peeta all over again; at least in regards to the female population. Haymitch was screening every gift and correspondence being sent to his room.

"Please leave the premises," Delly ordered her. "No one is allowed to visit or see him except family and close friends."

"But white roses are his favorite," she gushed. My patience snapped as I grabbed the vase and threw it across the hallway. The crash made a loud noise that caused Johanna to step out of the room.

"Leave now," I threatened her. "Peeta is no concern of yours. Leave him alone."

"What's going on?" Johanna hissed in anger.

"Ms. Perry was just about to leave," I said as I grabbed her by the arm.

"Let go of me," she yelled as she pried her arm from my grasp.

"Keep your voice down. This is a hospital," Delly said. "Johanna, can you please escort Ms. Perry out of here. I don't want her upsetting Peeta."

"It'll be my pleasure," Johanna said as she stood in front of Eva as she tried to make a pass to Peeta's room. "You either come with me willingly or…be carried out of here." Eva sighed in frustration as she looked at all of us. Johanna was dressed in her black ensemble complete with her knife sheathed on her left leg. She looked dangerous and imposing. Even with the height difference, Johanna's experience in the games was not a match to the pampered Eva.

"Peeta doesn't deserve any of you," she spat at us as she walked away. "You can't keep him away from me forever. We're destined to be together. And none of you are going to stop me."

"Okay, now I'm getting worried," I commented as Johanna led Eva away. "She's got more than just a crush on Peeta. She's insane."

"She's a bit much but I don't think she'd hurt Peeta," Delly stated. "I'll talk to the hospital administrator and get her removed from the premises."

"That won't stop her from getting near Peeta," I added. "She's far too obsessed with him. There's no reasoning with her. Someone is after Peeta and we don't need her distracting us."

"Katniss, we're going to do everything we can to find his stalker," Delly said. "You just need to concentrate on keeping Peeta safe, okay? Eva isn't the big picture."

"I don't want her anywhere near him," I said. "There's just something off about her and I'm not just talking about her obsession with Peeta."

"Katniss, Delly, what are you two still doing out here?" Johanna commented as she returned.

"Did you make sure Eva is far away from here?" I said.

"I made sure that she better leave Peeta alone," she threatened. "I told her that not only will she have to deal with the Mockingjay she would also have to deal with me if doesn't leave him alone." She had a smirk on her face as it made me wonder how her threat was received.

"I hope that's enough," I said. Delly, Johanna and I turned and walked into Peeta's room. His eyes were fixed on the monitor. He appeared daze and lethargic not really paying attention to anything or anyone around him. I sent a worried look over Delly who approached him.

"Hey, Peeta, you hungry?" she asked. He shook his head as toyed with the edge of his blanket.

"I'm heading out, Peeta," Johanna announced. "You take care of yourself and I'll be back before you know it, okay?" Peeta took her hand and squeezed it before letting go. He watched her walk out room then turned his head and stared back into the TV monitor.

"So you ready to have dinner?" Delly asked again. "I got permission to take you to one of the private dining rooms for dinner. I know you feel cooped up in here so we go there to eat instead. Would you like that?" Peeta shrugged his shoulders. "We can go now if you want?" He left the bed and placed his foot on the cold floor. I winced when I noticed his missing leg underneath his sleep wear. The lower portion of this leg from the knee up was fastened with a safety pin. It was the first time I've seen him without this prosthetic leg. He looked weak and vulnerable that all I wanted to do was comfort him. But he seemed distant and unapproachable.

Located on the same floor was the private dining area Delly mentioned. As usual, we made an entrance as people stopped and stared at Peeta and me. I held onto his hand as Delly wheeled him towards a secluded table near the back of the room. During dinner, Peeta twitched and was easily startled when anyone passed near us. A few people approached us sending their wishes and congratulations for Peeta winning the contest. Through it all, Peeta smiled and made polite conversation as best he could. He barely ate his soup and piece of bread by the time he asked to return to his room. I promised myself that I would feed him more once we returned home. Home, another topic yet to be broached when Peeta goes home.

As I wheeled him back to his room, Peeta's subdued behavior continued. Delly left us alone to get some rest. She and Bron planned on sleeping in the nurses' resident quarters to be near by. Two guardsmen patrolled the hallways and floor to Peeta's room. I'm relieved with the security detail for him.

I'm nervous and unsettled as we prepare to go to sleep. After brushing my teeth and washing my face, I'm uncertain of the night ahead of us. Peeta had barely looked at me since my arrival. I'm sitting on the other bed as he wheeled back into the room after his own sleep preparations. My heart swelled with pain as I watched him pulled himself from the chair and stood up on his one leg to lie on the bed. Without any words between us I helped him onto the bed as he slipped beneath the sheets. As I made to leave his side, he grabbed my hand.

"Don't leave," he said as a look of panic etched his handsome face.

"I'm not, I was going to turn off the lights," I said back to him happy at least he wanted my company. I was afraid that he didn't want me and had to sleep on the spare bed away from him. My arms ached to hold him.

He wouldn't release my hand. "No, I can turn it off from here," he pointed to a remote on his bedside. "Stay."

I looked into his eye. He's scared and uncertain. "Always," I responded. He smiled and sighed in relief. His hospital bed was narrow but we managed to settle into a comfortable position as I'm tucked close next to him with my head on his chest. His arm wrapped around my shoulder. I took a deep breath as the last two days left me stressed and exhausted. As tired as I was I relished the peace and quiet with Peeta. I missed him so much, I missed the way his eyes crinkled when he laughed and the way his tongue stuck out when he's concentrating. Johanna was right; we got lucky. We found Peeta in time. I closed my eyes as I tried not to think of what happened to him during his disappearance. I needed to know what happened but the trauma is too fresh and I didn't want Peeta to lapse into an episode. I guess this was what Delly was talking about. I needed to be patient.

"Peeta," I whispered.

"Hmm…" he responded as he rubbed circles around my shoulder. Despite his distance, I'm grateful that Peeta still wanted me by his side. I was prepared for him to push me away. Whatever he experienced affected him emotionally as well as physically.

"Try to get some sleep," I said as I placed a hand on his chest. I reveled in the feel of his heartbeat against my hand. "I'll be here when you wake up."

"I can't," he returned. "I don't want to be here. I don't like hospitals. It's too white, sterile and…the smell reminds me of the Capitol."

"You want to talk about it?" I asked hoping he would open up to me.

"No," he said as he tightened his arm around me.

"Okay," I said. "I want you to know that you can talk to me anytime, okay? I'll be here for you. I'm not going anywhere."

"I'm sorry, Katniss," he said. "Everyone is in danger because of me. Maybe it's best that I leave 12 for a while."

"No," I gasped as I sat up to face him. The thought of him leaving paralyzed me. "You can't run away from this. We can't help you or protect you." I'm afraid that once he's gone, he's gone forever.

"I don't know what to do," he added.

"Peeta, swear to me that you're not going to leave," I demanded him. "You can't…you can't leave…me…alone." I struggled with my words as my throat tightened. Tears threatened to burst from my eyes. I lay down embracing him that I'm almost on top of him. At any other time, this would have excited me. "Please don't leave me."

"Katniss, shh, I won't leave, I promise," he said as he wrapped his arms around me. The past 24 hours had finally caught up to me as I sobbed into his chest. "Please don't cry, I didn't meant to make you cry."

"I need you, you can't leave me," I cried. I'm terrified and I'm an emotional mess as I struggled to catch my breath.

"Hey, look at me," he asked as I pulled away from him. He cupped his hands on my cheeks, which were soaked with tears. "I need you too and I'm not going anywhere. I'm sorry I said about me leaving. When have I ever been able to leave you, ever?"

I placed my head back on his chest tightening my arms around him. Peeta placed a kiss on the top of my head. His lips lingered for a moment on my scalp. "We'll get though this together. If you leave, I don't know what I'll do."

"You said you needed me," he asked. "You said the same thing at the beach during the Quarter Quell. Was that real?"

"It was real, Peeta," I confirmed. "I do need you so much." I wanted to say more, but I also didn't want to confront him now. I didn't want to scare him. We're both too raw and vulnerable from our ordeal.

But Peeta pressed on, "So what you said to Caesar, you told him that I'm yours," he said. "That was real too. You didn't say that for the cameras."

"No, Peeta," I answered back. "I meant what I said. You've been mine for some time and I'm sorry that it took me this long to realize it."

"It's okay, Katniss," he said. "Our timing has always been off, but let's just take things slowly. There's too much going on right now. I'm sorry I brought it up. Now it not a good time to talk about this."

"But can you at least admit that there is something between us," I inquired. I needed his assurance that we both on the same page. "You belong with me as I belong to you. We're no good without each other."

"I've always felt that way," he said with sad look on his face. "Please don't say things out of guilt and you're feeling alone and lonely."

"I'm not," I said to him. "I'm not good with words like you. But please believe me when I say that I want you, all of you. Not because I feel guilty or I'm alone. I really want you. You, I want you." I emphasized as I clutched a handful of his shirt. He's broken in body, mind and spirit. He's missing a leg and underweight, but he never looked more beautiful to me now when he was whole and healthy. I hoped he still wanted me the same way.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "I'm not the same guy you remembered. I'm not who I used to be." He shifted beneath me as he took a deep breath.

"Neither am I," I added. "And maybe that's a good thing. We get another chance with each other."

"I guess," he returned not quite sure of my declaration. "I just didn't think you wanted to…or felt that way about me. This doesn't feel real to me."

"This is real," I said as I moved closer to him. My right leg straddled his. "I do, Peeta. I do want you and I always will." It was the declaration I had not intended to announce but at least we both acknowledged it. His trust and faith in me had to be rebuilt since I was the one who shattered it. Hope bloomed inside me. He may not be ready for my admission of love and affection. There were too many things unsettled between us. Ghosts that still haunted us. I just needed him to know that I want him as much as he wanted me. I looked forward to building our life together. I sighed as I closed my eyes with a final thought that lulled me to sleep, I finally got a boyfriend and this is the best night ever.

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**_AN: Aw…finally. I didn't realize it would take me this long to get to this point. Hope you enjoyed this chapter and look forward to finding out what happened to Peeta and their date in the next updates. Thanks for the reviews. Until the next chapter have a great week._**


	18. Chapter 18 - The Road to Pain & Pleasure

Chapter 18 – The Road To Pain and Pleasure

_AN: Mature topic and situations up ahead. Any mistakes found are all on me. Thanks for your patience. I__ hope you enjoy this chapter._

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**Peeta POV – **

I awoke to a pressure on my right side pinning me down on the bed. My eyes adjusted to a lump of hair sitting on my chest as the smell of pine and lavender invaded my nose. Many a night I've slept with Katniss by my side, but the white walls, curtains and furniture startled me. Most nights I'm afraid I'm in one of my nightmares of Mutt Katniss trying to kill me. I didn't want to wake up with Katniss dead because I had murdered her in my sleep. She needed comfort so the easiest thing to do was stay awake and watch over her. I looked around and I realized I'm not in my home. Memories of the night before flitted through my mind. This is real and so is Katniss lying besides me fast asleep. It was the first night we slept through without a nightmare for the both of us.

We're wrapped so close together that she's half on top of me. Her t-shirt covered chest was pressed onto mine that I felt her pebbled nipple despite the layer of clothing between us. Her knee inched close to my groin that if I shifted she would feel my state of arousal. I'm shocked and puzzled as I acknowledged my confusion and excitement. Since my return to 12 any state of arousal was rare or non-existent. Dr. Aurelius assured me that my _'problem'_ or lack of desire was due to months of drugs and emotional detachment I had adopted due to my abuse in the Capitol. Johanna shared the same affliction that she thought visiting The Celestial would cure us. It was an eye-opening occurrence but the visit left me numb from my experience there. Delly and Dr. Aurelius are the only two people who were aware of our dilemma. Suffice it to say that my libido took a trip and had not returned since. Until now.

I don't know what caused my 'recovery or cure.' I tried not to react as Katniss shifted and lodged her knee into my groin causing me to moan and hiss. My moment of lust and desire waned as she groaned in pain and grabbed me in a tight embrace digging her nails into my waist. Concern and worry dampened whatever fleeting moment of desire as she gasped and woke up with a wild look in her face. I may be leery of her intention but it didn't mean that I didn't care for her. The old me had loved her for so long that it was hard not to let her go. It's the new, scared and broken me that doesn't think I'm worthy of her now. Guilt, shame and fear anchored my heavy heart. How can she love me when I tried to kill her? How can she claim to love this version of me?

"Katniss, are you alright?" I asked. Her hair was wild from sleep and her cheeks were rosy red as she sat up. Her eyes focused on my face for a mere second or two before she lay back down upon my chest.

"I'm sorry if I woke you," she apologized.

"You didn't," I admitted as I took a deep breath. "You sleep okay? This isn't the most comfortable bed we've ever slept in."

"Uh huh," she said as she yawned. "Best sleep I had in a long time. How about you?"

I'm relieved that she cannot see my face as I thought of her leg grazing my groin. "I didn't have a nightmare for the first time in weeks." I wondered what caused her to awaken so abruptly.

"Me too," she said as she raised her head to look at me. Her face hovered inches from my own as her eyes stared at my lips. Our moment is broken as Dr. Templeton and Delly walked into my room.

"Good morning, Katniss, Peeta," Dr. Templeton said with a smile on her face. Delly was close behind her holding a tray. "I hope you two were able to get some sleep in that narrow bed."

"We managed," I responded as my eyes narrowed at Delly who had a look of mischief on her face. She placed the tray on a table. I recognized the pills on the tray, one purple and the other white. They were pills I took whenever Dr. Aurelius would scan for tracker venom in my blood. I'm shocked for not many knew of my affliction. Any procedure done for my condition was done at the Capitol.

"I want to do one final scan before I release you today," she said. "I will send your results to Dr. Aurelius. If your levels are low, you can go home this afternoon."

"How do you know about my condition?" I asked.

"Oh, you didn't know?" she said in surprise. "Dr. Aurelius was only able to release you in my care as your personal physician, not just for you but for Katniss as well. I thought he told you of my connection to him as your doctor."

Both Katniss and I eyed her with suspicion. "Listen, I didn't realize that you didn't know my relation to him." She paused. "Dr. Aurelius is my uncle. He asked me if I would move to 12 to monitor you and Katniss personally. No one but Delly and I are allowed to treat and examine you."

"You mean spy of us," Katniss sneered as she got out of bed and approached her. She wore a pair of black shorts and t-shirt. Katniss wearing black usually triggered a negative reaction from me. This morning she looked cute and less imposing.

"Oh no, please don't thing that we had any nefarious intention," she said in a calm tone and manner. "He thought it was best that I move here and take care of your medical needs. He wanted someone he can trust to take care of you. I volunteered my services."

"Why would you do that?" I asked.

She blushed and paused for a moment. "I'm a big fan of the Lovers of District 12," she confessed. "I have been since your first season in the arenas. Please don't think that I can't separate my job and admiration of you both. It was an honor that he asked me to do this for you."

I sighed and closed my eyes. Katniss' reaction was less impressed by her admission. "Besides, I'm been one of your doctors since your recovery at the Capitol. I am also Johanna Mason's doctor as well. So I know all your medical history. I'm surprised you don't remember me from the hospital at the Capitol." I looked at her and cannot recollect ever seeing her during my stay. But then again, I was not apt to looking or caring who tended to me. I just wanted to die.

"So you too have seen Peeta naked?" Katniss hissed. I blushed and gasped in embarrassment.

"Well, I'm his physician," she said in surprise as if it was a natural conclusion.

"Argh," Katniss cried in frustration as she walked towards Delly who had an amused on look on her face. She went passed her and walked into the bathroom as Katniss slammed the door behind her. I looked at Delly in surprise and confusion with a questioning look on my face. It was a conversation I later would have to address for Katniss' odd behavior with Delly.

"So Peeta," Dr. Templeton turned me to and pointed at the pills. "You know the drill. Take the first one now, have breakfast, then take the purple one after eating, okay?" I nodded in understanding. "But before breakfast I want to check your vision and your throat." She pulled a penlight to check my eyes and looked down my throat then, reached into her coat pocket to write her results on a small tablet. "Unbutton your shirt so I can listen to your heart."

Seconds later, Katniss exited the bathroom wearing a pair of dark slacks and a green shirt. Her hair was braided and her face washed away from sleep. She looked…wonderful. I gasped as the stethoscope felt cold against my skin concealing my admiration for Katniss. She had a typical scowl on her face as Dr. Templeton continued to examine me.

"How's your vision?" she asked, unaware of Katniss' eyes boring into her head.

"It's not so fuzzy like yesterday," I answered. "I'm not seeing double anymore." I turned my eyes at Dr. Templeton.

"And your headache?" she added.

"I'm still feel lightheaded," I replied and winced when she brushed her hand on my forehead. Katniss' odd behavior continued as she crossed her arms before her chest.

"The effects from the drugs should wear off by this afternoon," she commented. "In the meantime, eat everything before you take the last pill, understand?"

With a glass of water I took the largest pill with disgust since it left a chalky residue in my mouth and throat. I didn't understand how they think I could stomach anything after swallowing the white pill. A few minutes later, two bowls of oats and slices of fruit were delivered to my room for Katniss and myself.

"Feeling better Katniss," Delly asked as Katniss sat next to me.

"So when can Peeta go home?" she asked. I handed her a bowl as I picked with mine. My appetite lessened due to the drugs in my system. Everything tasted bland. Dr. Templeton explained to me that the drug affected my taste buds and would take hours to recover. Adding the pill to my non-functioning taste buds, I wanted to vomit.

"Later this afternoon if his test results look positive," Dr. Templeton answered. "In the meantime, Dr. Aurelius wants you to go to the Capitol."

"For what?" Katniss asked.

"To take more tests," she said. Katniss tensed and dropped her spoon onto the bowl. She grabbed my hand and squeezed tight.

"When is Peeta suppose to leave?" she asked, her voice shaky. She was close to tears.

"I'm not going" I interjected in a firm tone. The thought of going back to the Capitol unnerved me. "You can't make me go."

"Peeta, you need to go," Dr. Templeton added.

"I won't be able to go with you," Katniss said.

"Can you do the test here?" I asked.

"Yes, I can, but Dr. Aurelius insists in being present for them," she explained further. "He wants to see you."

"You can do all the test here and I can conference call Dr. Aurelius anytime he wants me to," I suggested. "I'm not going anywhere. Are you aware of my situation, Dr Templeton? If Dr. Aurelius has been keeping you abreast of my situation then you know that I am safer here than in the Capitol." I also didn't want to leave Katniss.

"Peeta, it's not that simple," Delly said.

"Yes, it is," I stated. "You don't think I know the breach of security in my floor when I was there? I'm here with people who can take care of me better than anyone in Panem. And unless he considered me dangerous to everyone around me then he can't make me go anywhere. I refuse to go."

"All right, I tell Dr. Aurelius you'll take the tests here,'" Dr. Templeton relented. "I can't force you to go since the test are not mandatory, but you are required to keep your sessions with him since he knows about your episodes during your disappearance."

"How did he know when I myself don't even remember whatever happened to me?" I asked in surprise.

"It's doesn't matter how," she said. "You need to have a session soon." I nodded my head and was relieved that I was not forced to leave. My nerves were shattered and I needed to go home to someplace I felt safe. "I'll be back this afternoon with the results of the scan. See you soon." She walked out of the room.

Delly and Katniss eyed each other for a moment then both turned to me as I struggled to eat my cereal.

"Peeta, before you go home, there is something we need to tell you," Katniss said. She seemed skittish and anxious. "The night you disappeared…while we went out looking for you…your house was burned down. There's nothing left."

I blinked a couple of times to make sure I heard her correctly. "What did you say?" I asked.

"Your house was set on fire," she continued. "I'm sorry Peeta but nothing was saved."

"Was anyone hurt? Where is Haymitch and Effie," I inquired.

"They're safe," she admitted. "We all are." I lay back on the bed and closed my eyes. Everything I owned was inside my house. I literally had nothing left of whatever I saved of my past. Any mementos or souvenirs from my past were gone.

"So everything is gone," I reiterated to myself.

"You still have all your drawings," Delly reminded me. " The ones you made me keep at my house." I burst into laughter as I realized the only things left were my drawings of Mutt Katniss. All my paintings and drawings before the Quarter Quell were gone. As if Delly read my mind she added, "Peeta, I have your drawings. You know which ones I'm talking about." I eyed her for a moment. "The ones you didn't want anyone to find especially Dr. Aurelius."

"You have them, how?" I asked in surprise and relief. "How did you even know about those?"

"I'm glad to admit that I stole them from your house one evening. You know for safe keeping incase you had another bonfire," she confessed. I remembered that one night after my visit to the Capitol I had returned to burn a few of my drawings pads, sketches and painting. Drawing and painting were last things I needed to do. My only attempt to draw again was with Tamryn. She didn't remind me of me past.

"Thank you, Delly," I exclaimed. Katniss had a puzzled look on her face but kept silent. "So I'm basically homeless."

"You can stay with me and Bron?" she suggested.

"Or you can stay at my place with me and Effie," Katniss added. Both offers unsettled me for some reason.

"Thanks for the offer but I think I want to stay with Haymitch if you don't mind," I said. I lifted my hand to pat down my bed hair when I felt something scratch my hand.

"Ouch," I cried. I felt for my right ear and found an earring on my lobe. "What the hell, Delly, when did I get my ears pierced?" I yelped as I reached to touch both ear lobes.

"Um…we found you like that," she explained.

"Get them off, damnit," I said as I tried to pry one off. "Shit that hurts."

"Peeta, you can't take them off," Delly instructed. "You're ears are red. They're swollen from the piercings. They need to heal and if you take them off now, you'll get an infection."

"Who is doing this to me?" I seethed.

"Calm down," she implored. She feared for my sanity. I barely recovered from shock when she explained that I was dressed in the white suit I wore during my captivity. I was glad that I woke up not wearing it. "It's no big deal. You can take them off in two weeks."

"I want them off now; its no wonder I have a headache," I exclaimed. The length of my hair covered my ears. I should have known that the piercing caused the pinching sensation.

"You don't remember getting them?" Katniss asked.

"I don't remember anything let alone getting my ears pierced," I sighed in resignation. In truth I'm afraid to remember. All I can recollect were the sensations of fear, anger and helplessness. Images flooded my mind because I'm not certain if they were from the torture from the Capitol or my last ordeal. I guess this why Dr. Aurelius insisted of having a session with me. All my memories were blending into one big nightmare.

Hours later, I'm bored and restless. I convinced Katniss to go home for a few hours so I can get some space from everything and everyone. Bron had sent two of his Guardsmen buddies to hover at my door. This put Katniss at ease. In the meantime, I watched as Effie deliver a statement in my behalf on the TV monitor. Her words were concise and garnered no information to my ordeal. In other words, it's been no ones' business but my own. She simply stated to please respect my privacy and to leave me the hell alone. Well, in my words not hers. Haymitch was beside her like a shadow throughout the press conference, which was held on District 11. The media and any hovercrafts were still not permitted to enter 12. Even President Paylor made a short statement to reiterate that fact. I was please to how Effie and Haymitch handled the situation but it still placed me on edge. I felt as though I'm back in the games with Effie and Haymitch taking care of us.

The conference however, fueled more gossip and rumors to my state of mind and health. Haymitch finally divulged to President Paylor my situation, which caused her to send more Guardsmen to 12 to my dismay. She had to secure the safety of Panem's national treasure, Katniss Everdeen. Her connection to me just placed a target on her back. Paylor could care less for my wellbeing, but Katniss was a different matter. I debated whether it was wise to continue my resident at 12 and my relationship with Katniss. She was better off without me.

"Why the sad face, Peeta?" Delly inquired as she entered my room. I sighed to myself.

"I know you're ready to go home. You just need to wait for your scan results."

"That's not it, Delly," I admitted.

"You're not going to go there again, Peeta," Delly glared at me, challenging me to go on. "I know you. You want to run thinking that it would protect everyone. Think again Peeta."

"I'm not safe to be around," I countered. "How do you think I'm going to feel if one of you gets hurt?"

"How do you think we're going to feel if anything happens to you?" Delly bit back with such vehemence I'm unaccustomed to. Where was sweet and understanding Delly? "Dimmit, Peeta. This isn't your fault." She hit the nail on the head. I felt guilty for involving everyone in my dilemma. "And I'm telling you right now, if you do something stupid like leave without telling anyone, you're hurting us by not trusting anyone to protect you. So shut up and let us help you."

"Okay, Delly, don't get mad," I whined. Mad Delly is pretty scary so I relented.

"Don't get mad?" she shrieked. "I'm beyond mad, what about your bakery? You just got your bakery back." Her voice elevated into a decibel my ears drum couldn't handle.

"Okay, okay, I won't leave, sheesh," I sighed. She eyed me in a suspicious manner then launched herself at me in a tight hug.

"I thought we lost you, Peeta," she sobbed. "I was scared to death we wouldn't find you in time." We stayed locked in each other arms for a while. "Don't ever think of giving up on us, okay. We protect each other." She echoed and reminded me of a sentiment once spoken from another girl and a different time.

"Everything okay here?" Katniss appeared before us with Bron behind her. They both had a look in their face of concern and curiosity.

"I had a melt down," Delly confessed as she stood up and approached Bron. "I guess the past few days caught up to me. We're waiting for Peeta's results so he can go home." I noticed a few bags Katniss clutched in her hands.

"I bought you some clothes for the time being," Katniss explained as she placed them on the foot of the bed. "I hope they're okay. Something simple and comfortable. I hope you like them." She blushed for a moment. I looked into the bag and found a blue shirt, black t-shirt, pants, underwear and socks with a pair black boots. She was thorough with her purchase.

"Um…I hope you don't' mind but…I bought you black boxer briefs," she uttered. I blushed a bright red. Delly snickered while Bron wiggled his brows.

"Ah...okay, thanks," I stammered. Soon enough Dr. Templeton walked through the door with tablet in hand diffusing the awkward and embarrassing moment.

"I have your test results, Peeta," she said as she looked at everyone in the room. "Everything all right in here?"

I shook my head. "Just waiting for you, Kara." Delly said.

"So good news. The scans indicate low levels of the venom in your system," she announced. "This is good news indeed. I consulted with Dr. Aurelius about your test results so in about a month, you will need to see him in the Capitol to begin new treatments."

"New treatments? For what?" I asked.

"Dr. Aurelius thinks that he found a way to reduce or replace the venom in your system," she explained. "It's risky at best but worth trying."

"Why wait a month, why not now?" I asked. If Dr. Aurelius found a cure, I wanted to have the treatments done as soon as possible.

"You need to gain at least ten pounds. He won't permit it unless you're a certain weight. You blood pressure is too high. You're ordeal has weakened your heart. You're not strong enough now. We hope in a month, you'll be physically ready."

"We?" I asked.

"I'll be accompanying you when you go back," she said.

"Over my dead body," Katniss mumbled.

Dr. Templeton continued. "In the meantime, you need to keep up with your sessions, especially in the light of what happened to you. So make an appointment when you get home."

I sat up in my bed and extend my hand to her. "Thank you, Dr. Templeton," I said with great appreciation for her discretion and help. "Thank you for your honesty and for everything you've done."

"No need to thank me, Peeta and please call me Kara," she giggled which caused Katniss to scowl. "I'll see you next week for your next physical. Remember you need to gain at least 10 pounds. Call me if you need anything. I'm sure you have plenty of people to help you." She walked up to Delly. "Please make sure he eats okay." Then, she turned to leave the room and leaned over to Katniss. "You're a very lucky girl. Please take care good care him." She winked at Delly and laughed at Katniss who opened her mouth to say something but kept silent as Kara left the room.

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**Katniss POV – **

My mind is in turmoil. When I woke up this morning, I was dreaming of Peeta and I in the middle of a field lying down on a blanket. I lay half straddling his body as I brushed my hand over his blond hair. His eyes were half open and lips swollen from my kisses. Kisses? He looked happy and at peace. A second later, he rolled us over so that I'm beneath him feeling all of him. I gasped in surprise and arousal. I leaned over to…awoken next to Peeta who had a worried and concerned look on his face. I was embarrassed and startled by my dream. It was not the first time I woke up in my state of arousal, but it was the first time we were in bed together from my erotic dream so wound together that I felt him. My nipples were hard and there's a familiar ache between my legs. I had hoped that he didn't sense my needy and lustful state.

Hours later, the dream has yet to leave my mind and body. Peeta had suggested that I return home for a few hours to rest and change. I was reluctant but relieved with his suggestion. I didn't want to be away from him too long. But I took the opportunity to take a long hot shower to relieve the stress and tension from my body. However, my mind had other ideas as I imagined us in the shower together. I wondered how his skin felt underneath my hands as it roamed every inch of him. I reached down between my legs and swiped my folds with my fingers wishing it was Peeta touching me. I circled and pinched at my nerve center for release only to feel empty and unfulfilled after reaching my orgasm. I long for Peeta to touch me that way.

I looked at him now and prayed that I will have Peeta in a way I never thought before, as my lover. My newfound lust and happiness was shattered when I realize that yet another woman has seen Peeta naked. To my annoyance I walked into the restroom to relieve myself and get dressed for the day. I wanted to scream as I walked back and found Kara touching him again. I knew that she was his doctor, but damnit she needed to stop touching him.

I wanted to pull her hair and poke her eyes out for even looking at him. Even in his hospital attire he was handsome as ever. His eyes were sleepy, cheeks pink and hair tousled just like in my dream. When Kara finally left the room with her parting words, I sighed and looked back at Peeta. I'm horny, hungry and aggravated. These feelings made me possessive and protective over him. He reached over and took out his underwear and pants from a bag. I'm unaware of Delly talking to me as she waved a hand over my face.

"Katniss, why don't you help Peeta to the bathroom so he change," Delly suggested. "I'm going to take care of his paperwork since I am his medical proxy. He can leave once I'm done. I'll be right back."

"Okay," I said not comprehending a single word she said as I approached Peeta and walked him to the bathroom. He was warm beneath my hands as I clutched his muscled waist. Hmm…he's been working on his six-pack. However, Kara was right he still needed to gain weight. "Let me know if you need any help." He shut the door behind him.

I shook my head as I tried not to imagine him naked with a door between us as he changed into the clothes I had purchased for him. I blushed when I took a pair of black boxer shorts to the register. A pair I hope to remove one day as I slide them down his legs and familiarize myself to a certain part of his anatomy. I look forward to dressing and undressing him. I've never bought men's clothes before. It was a habit worth repeating if my shopping involved Peeta.

My dreams were interrupted when I heard him yell. "Aw shit…what that fuck is this?" he screamed. Alarmed, I opened the door and found him bare-chested with his pants half way down his leg revealing his tight ass. He quickly pulled his pants up and turned around.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I tried not to recall his beautiful butt cheeks distracting me. Peeta responded with anger in his voice. He's too angry to acknowledge my red face and uneven breath.

"I have tattoo," he seethed.

"Yeah, I know," I confirmed as I stared at the tattoo on his chest. It consisted of three numbers, 12, 4 and 7 designed into a clock-like formation with a paintbrush, a fish and an axe to form the circle.

"Not that one, I have a new one on my hip," he explained. "I didn't understand why I had a bandage there. I thought maybe I got cut or something so I took a look to see and I find a fucking tattoo instead."

"What is it, the tattoo I mean," I asked curious as to what and why it is located on his hip.

He looked down and pulled his pants aside without revealing his groin to me. It was two long-stem roses intertwined together that started from the center of his thigh to top of his hip. One rose is red while the other is white. I held myself from reaching over to caress the artwork. It was a beautiful design against his pale skin. "Just another thing I have to wait to heal before I have it removed." He sighed in resignation and annoyance. "Whoever he is, he's sick and taking great pleasure in humiliating me." I didn't have the heart to tell him that he's stalker may be a woman. I grew angry as I realized that someone or another woman has touched him long enough to ink his leg while he was probably naked.

"I promise Peeta," I said. "He won't get another opportunity to touch you again." He leaned back onto the counter and placed his hands on the edge. He was lost in thought that I had to get his attention. "Come on, the sooner you get dressed the sooner we get out of here." He looked up and nodded is head.

A few minutes later, he walked out with only his pants on. I tried not to look at the bulge between his legs. He had already attached his prosthetic leg but he was still sore and weak as I helped him back to his bed. He slipped on his t-shirt and button down shirt. I knelt down and helped him with his socks and shoes. I had forgotten to bring a comb but decided he looked cute with his hair all over the place. When I was done tying his shoes he reached over and took my hand in his and pulled me to sit next to him. "Thank you," he said, his hand over mine as he raised it to place a soft kiss on the back of my hand. My skin tingled from his lips. "Thank you for staying and taking care of me."

"No need to thank me, Peeta," I said with a sigh. "I'll be with you anywhere, anytime, and always." We stared at each other for a few seconds, his eyes dropped to my lips. I leaned over to…

"So I got all the paperwork done," Delly announced as she entered the room with a paper bag and wheelchair in tow. We pulled away from each other as if we were stung. "Ready to go, Peeta?" She wheeled the chair over unaware of the near kiss she interrupted. I sighed in frustration to yet another missed opportunity.

"I was ready yesterday," he said with a huge smile on his face as he got off the bed and glared at Delly who wheeled the chair next to him.

"You know the hospital policy, Peeta," she said in her nurse mode. No nonsense Delly returned. "No wheelchair, no leaving without it."

"You're a tyrant," Peeta returned half angry and amused as he sat down on the chair.

"Just admit it," she teased. "You love all this attention you're getting."

Once we left the hospital premises, Peeta immediately got off the chair. I took his arm and wrapped them around my waist. His left leg must still sore as he limped besides me. I could tell he was in pain but he pushed on. Delly walked in front of us clearing the way taking Johanna's role as protector. It was amusing. The walk through town was tense and uncomfortable as the townspeople continued to stare at us while the others greeted Peeta and I with best wishes and congratulations for his winning the baking competition. It felt like a lifetime ago since it happened. It was evident that Paylor had seen the footage of Peeta at the train station fiasco. There were new Guardsmen everywhere. They silently nodded and saluted us as we passed them. I didn't know if I'm comforted or disturbed by their presence and numbers.

Minutes later, we entered the vicinity of the Victor's Village. The smoke still lingered in the air that Peeta tensed in my arms as we approached his former home. He pulled away from me as soon as he saw the wreckage of his house and stood what was formerly his kitchen. He knelt down and pulled a charred metallic rolling pin from the debris. It was twisted and melted down from the heat. "I have nothing left of them," I heard him whisper. Them, I assumed was his family. "Everything or anything that I had of them is gone."

"They're just things, Peeta," I tried to comfort him. He turned with tears in his eyes.

"I don't even remember much let alone things that reminded me of them," he seethed in anger. "My memories are fleeting. I can barely remember faces. Things were all I had of them to remember them by. I don't even have a single picture of them." He threw the rolling pin across the room. "How would you like to have everything you owned from your family burned to ashes?" He ran past me and went straight to Haymitch's home without a backward glance.

"Just give him some time, Katniss," Delly murmured. "He's hurt and he's lost everything."

"He still has us, Delly," I exhaled as tears brimmed my eyes. "I know he's hurting. I just wish he would lean on me. I just want to help him."

"He never did before. He never leaned on anyone for the longest time," she reminded me. Peeta was alone after winning the first arena. His family ignored him as they went on with their lives. I had Prim when I was lost and needed comfort. Peeta had no one I realized. "Maybe it's time you reminded him that you're not going anywhere and that you'll stand by him no matter what happens."

I walked over to Haymitch's home and opened the door. Peeta sat on the sofa, hands clutching his head as he was bent over. "I'm sorry, Peeta," I said as I sat next to him. "That was insensitive of me."

"No, I'm sorry, Katniss," he said in a whisper. "I shouldn't be angry at you. It's not your fault."

"I know but I still shouldn't have said that." I admitted. Everything I had from Prim was still locked in her room. I haven't been able to go in there since my return. Her absence in my life still pained me but I'm determined to move on.

"Why is it that every time I think I'm getting what I want," he said, "I lose something else in its' place. I finally have the bakery, I lose my home." I knew what he was leading to, but I needed him to say it. "Are you next, Katniss? Am I going to lose you too now that…"

"Don't say that," I interrupted. "You won't lose me. We all put our guard down after the contest. It won't happen again."

"This doesn't seem real," he said as he gestured between us. "This feels like we're back in the games protecting each other. I don't want you feeling bad for me and feel obligated to protect and be with me. If you're only feeling guilty then maybe we should step back." He was ranting his doubts and insecurities. I never met this Peeta before. He wasn't self-assured of himself. What broke my heart was that he doubted me as well..

"How many times do I need to tell you that I want to be with you not out of guilt and obligation," I bellowed at him. I knew that he was stubborn and scared. It's what I felt whenever he was around me. I calmed myself as he flinched from my outburst and looked away.

"I don't need a babysitter for the rest of my life," he uttered. "I can't live like that, you can't be with me all the time. Everyone has their own life to live."

"This is temporary, Peeta," I said trying to reassure him. "After we catch him, you and I are forever." He had a look of skepticism on his face. I knew that though I had announced my feelings for him, months of rejection and avoidance couldn't allay his fears and insecurities. His world crashed down on him and I'm determined to be his safety net.

"Get up," I ordered as I stood up and extended my hand to him. "We're going out for a walk." He eyed my hand for a second and reached over to grab it. After a quick stop at my house, I made a short call to Delly letting her know where we were headed. We walked out the door and headed towards the woods. With my hand firmly grasped into his and a blanket in my other arm, we walked past the electrical fence and straight to my meadow. Before reaching my destination, I headed towards a tree to retrieve my bow and arrow that I had hidden months before. Peeta looked at me with great apprehension. He bit his lower lip in anxiety as he looked around us. He looked scared and vulnerable. I spread the blanket before us amongst the tall grass hiding us from the world and on lookers.

The sun was out floating above us peeking through the clouds. It was a beautiful day with a light breeze that skimmed my heated skin. I brushed off images of my dream as I knelt down and lay my bow and arrow besides me. "Lay down with me," I said, my voice shaky and nervous as I sat down and extended my hand to him. He stared at me for a second or two. A moment passed as he stood still looking down on me. I'm filled with disappointment and anxiety as he closed his eyes shut, gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. "Peeta, are you okay?" _'Was he having an episode?'_ I wondered? _'Please not now and not here,'_ I thought to myself.

He shook his head, opened and wiped his hands on his pants. "Sorry," he said as he stood in front of me. "Sorry, it just. Coming here, it reminded of a dream I had when I first arrived." I let him continue as he struggled with his words. He looked sideways, avoiding any eye contract.

"You want to talk about it?" I asked hoping he'd let me in.

"No," he shouted. "It wasn't a good dream…you hurt me…I saw you and you shot me in the chest." I gasped in horror. "I know it's just a dream but it felt real."

"I would never hurt intentionally, Peeta," I cried. It was mistake to bring him here. I didn't know. The meadow was my sanctuary but to Peeta it represented a place of horror. My heart dropped as he turned and walked away. I sobbed in frustration and sadness. I was losing him even though I never really had him. Suddenly he stopped and stood underneath a large tree with a line of flowers surrounding it. He stooped down to pick them up and gathered them in his hands. He continued to walk around and picked an assortment of leaves, flowers and plants. When he had an array of plants in his arms he dropped them on the blanket and knelt down in front of me.

He picked up a dainty flowery blossom and handed it to me. "What's the name of this flower?" he asked. His blue eyes were clear and focused. I'm confused and anxious. "I need new memories. Help me undo what Snow tried to destroy. All my good memories of you were twisted and turned into nightmares."

I smiled as I realized he's trying to reconnect with me. "He took something very precious from me. He wanted to destroy any vestige of my memories of you. He poisoned my mind and succeeded. I never wanted to hurt you and I did. I almost… all I wanted to do was die. I had nothing to live for. When I came back, I did everything possible to just survive that I've forgotten how to live. And when my house burned down it felt like I lost everything. Like I lost you and myself all over again."

"You didn't, Peeta," I exclaimed. "You're still here and so am I. I'm here with you." _'You have me, you'll always have me,' _I said to myself.

"So now, I have to start over," he continued. "But this time, I hope you will help me. Help me to not be afraid, help me remember who I was before he raped my mind and turned me into a monster."

I had tears in my eyes as I shook my head. "You were never a monster," I cried.

"I'm scared of you, Katniss," he admitted. "Only you have the power to destroy what's left of me. And I'm scared for you. I've hurt you before with my own hands."

"I'm scared too, Peeta," I said. His eyes grew wide at my admission. I cringed when I realized that I should have chosen my words more carefully before I spoke. I had to correct it. "I'm scared to live without you. I am scared of that more than anything. I'm not afraid of you."

He looked down at the flower in my hand and asked again, "So, what kind of flower is that?" We're starting over. Rebuilding new memories in a place that held fear and horror for him. For a few minutes he would pick up a plant as I named them for him. Later, he laughed when I placed of crown of flowers on his head. He must really be tired since he didn't fight me over it. "I'm tired," he confirmed as he lay down on the blanket beside me. "Lay down with me." His toothy smile and glint in his eyes had me falling more in love with him.

"I'm not tired, you sleep. I'll watch over you," I said as I pointed to my bow and arrow. "I won't let anyone hurt you again." I gasped as he sat up and laid his head on my lap. He turned his body, took my right hand into his and placed them on his chest.

"Is this okay?" he whispered. His heartbeat pulsed underneath my hand. I nodded my head as my heart screamed with joy. I'm at my meadow, sitting on a blanket as my boyfriend falls asleep on my lap. It was a giddy and heady feeling. Peeta was slowly finding his way back to me.

Minutes later, he's sound asleep, his mouth slightly open near my groin. My heart beat so fast that I can hear it drumming in my ears. With my left hand I ran my fingers through his hair. I bent over and placed a kiss on his warm cheek.

I was afraid that he would run from me, that it was too late for us. I never thought I would ever be happy again. The death of my father brought pain and hardship. I didn't want to become my mother but when Peeta 'died' I became her anyway without realizing it. Prim's death shattered my foundation and losing both of them sealed my fate. I was ready to die. But Peeta, he never gave up even in his hijacked state. He wouldn't let me die. Somewhere hidden inside Capitol Peeta was the Boy with the Bread. Deep inside the dark recesses of his mind, he still managed to save me. For months we struggled in a new world alone. I thought i lost him forever. But somehow we found our way back to each other while were still broken and shattered. I had opened myself and seen the world through Peeta's eyes. It is filled hope, laughter, love, pain and hardship. All these emotions are worth fighting for. I'm not afraid to face it as long as he is by my side.

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_Thank you to my faithful readers who reviewed, favored or alerted my fic. Have a great week. _


	19. Chapter 19 - Two for the Road

Chapter 19 – Two for the Road

_AN: Wow, thank you for the great reviews in reading the last chapter. My gratitude to Aqua Rules, Trude, kamjam, Suze18, LACR, carolblue, Tea4e and Kpfan72491 for the reviews. Thank you for taking the time to write a review and for those who have favored and alerted my fic. You guys are awesome. Reviews are always greatly appreciated. _

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**_Delly POV – _**

"Where the hell are they?" I screamed to no one in particular. Haymitch, Bron and Effie flinched at my tirade. It's been hours since Katniss took Peeta for _'a walk in the woods.'_ My nerves were shattered as I imagined all sort of frightening scenarios in my head.

"Delly, calm down," Bron said as he stood in front of me. I stepped aside to pace around him.

"Calm down, aren't you guys worried?" I shrieked. "We just got Peeta back and now they're both missing."

"I am," Haymitch admitted. "But as long as they are together, I'm not going to panic just yet." He sat on an armchair inside my home. His brows were furrowed as wrinkles etched his forehead. The past few days were evident on his face and posture. He and Effie had just returned from their press conference at District 11. Effie stood calm and poised staring out of a window. I envied her serene demeanor as I'm racked with fear and anxiety for Peeta and Katniss' safety. She was dressed a light pink tights and light cream tunic blouse. She was just as elegant outside her Capitol ensemble. Those ugly wigs and costume didn't do justice to her beauty.

"Delly, they're former Victors who survived two arenas," Effie explained in her calm fashion. "They can take care of themselves. They can take of each other." She spoke but her eyes were glued to the window.

"Are you kidding me," I reacted in disgust. "To you they may be former Victors but to me they're still two teenagers that went through hell after the rebellion. I know that they experienced things that even I can't imagine but they are my friends who are suffering from PTSD, nightmares, hijacking and to top it off, someone is stalking Peeta." I'm ranting. I couldn't control the ball of fear lodge in my stomach. I lost so much already; I couldn't afford to lose them, especially Peeta.

"We know that, Delly," Bron acknowledged. "What's the point of panicking? I'm worried too and unless they don't return before nightfall, we should stay calm. Like Effie and Haymitch said at least they're together and they can take care of each other."

I sighed in exhaustion and frustration. I knew Bron was right. "I'm sorry, but it's just that…Peeta is safe and back with us," I confessed in resignation. "I'm scared that something has happened to him. He's all I have left." I watched Bron flinched at my admission of my concern for Peeta but I dismissed his reaction. I didn't have time to allay his insecurity or jealousy. I love Bron. I was certain that I wanted a future with him. But Peeta was my first love. Even if it was unrequited I still love him, a part of me will always love him. And Bron understood that. It was something that I admitted once we started dating. I couldn't keep that a secret from him. But he also knew that Peeta loves and will always want Katniss. It was a foregone conclusion. His life started and ends with hers.

Nevertheless, Bron wrapped his strong arms around me in comfort. I'm lucky to have him. I love him for his strength, love and understanding. Thirty nerve-racking minutes later, I looked outside my window to see Peeta and Katniss approached the Victor Village's gates. I ran out and passed Effie, Haymitch and Bron without an explanation.

"Where the fuck have you been?" I screamed at Peeta as I hugged him tight. Peeta had look of shock on his face. I never swore unless I'm scared and really angry. It took a lot to anger me. I held back my tears of relief and rage. I couldn't break down in front of him and Katniss. My anger and paranoia all consumed me. "You're been gone for hours." I accused as I stood in front of Katniss. "You said you're were taking a walk in the woods and that was hours ago. You had us worried and going out our mind." I was breathless and panting by the end of rant. Haymitch, Bron and Effie were right behind me.

"I'm sorry Delly," Katniss apologized.

"It's my fault," Peeta said in their defense as they spoke at the same time.

"Peeta fell asleep and I didn't want to wake him," she explained.

"And I wanted to walk around," he added. "It's my fault we didn't come home sooner. I wanted to see the woods with Katniss." Haymitch and Effie sighed in relief as they both hugged Katniss and Peeta. Effie took Peeta's face in her hands and stared into his eyes.

"You okay, Peeta?" she asked in concern. He nodded for his response as he tucked his hands in his pockets. I wanted to slap him then hug him again for making me worry. Haymitch took Katniss aside.

"You had us worried," he said. "You both okay?" Katniss nodded as well as she pulled Peeta's hand from his pocket and grasped his hand.

"We're fine," she said. "We lost track of time." She was unapologetic with her statement. "We were in no danger." She added with defiance and obstinacy.

I calmed down and took a look at their flushed faces. I managed to focus my eyes from paranoid haze and noticed that their cheeks were pink from the sun and they had a crown of flowers on their heads. Katniss clutched an arrangement of flowers in her other hand. They looked happy and relaxed like two lover returning from a walk in the woods with not a care in the world. Their lips were rosy red.

"Why are your lips red?" I asked in curiosity.

"Oh," Katniss sighed and blushed. "Peeta got hungry on the way back so I picked some berries along the way." The stain from the berries was evident on their hands like tattoos on their skin. There was a slight smudge on her forehead underneath her hair. It looked like a pair of lips; Peeta's lips to be exact. My eyes bulged from shock and surprise. I couldn't wait to tell Johanna about the new development between Peeta and Katniss. I wondered if they knew what had occurred between them.

"Oh my god," I screeched with joy. "Are you guys finally together?" I grabbed Katniss by the arm. She winced but smiled at my exuberance. I knew that at times I could get a bit much for some people. After everything we've been thought, this was indeed happy news.

"Uhm…we're taking things slowly," Katniss announced as she looked at Peeta.

"Yes, we're together," Peeta admitted as his eyes stared back at her. "But like Katniss said, we're taking things slow." They were awkward and shy with each other. They're adorable together.

"It's about time," I screamed and hugged her again. "I'm so happy for you." Katniss laughed while Peeta smiled back. "I can't wait to tell Johanna."

"We're so thankful for your safe return," Bron said. "You both had us really worried."

"This is so awesome," I continued. "I can't believe it finally happened. Peeta, I'm so happy for you."

"I can't believe it either, Delly," Peeta admitted. He looked at me with a shy smile on his face as he wrapped an arm around Katniss' waist. She laid her head on his shoulder like she belonged there.

"Okay, now that you're both safe and sound, why don't we all head back home," Haymitch suggested. "It's been a long day and I need a drink or two or three." I turned to Peeta whose face dropped as he eyed what was once his home. He stood motionless holding Katniss as he blinked a few times.

He stood there for a couple of minutes then spoke. "Haymitch, is it okay if I stay with you for a while?" he asked.

"Sure kid," he answered. "Just as long as you make sure that you close your doors and windows when Katniss stays over." He teased Peeta as he rubbed his hair. "And seriously, when are you going to cut your hair? You almost look like a girl. I'm tempted to shave your locks off myself." Peeta gasped in horror and flinched at his teasing.

"He does not," Katniss defended him. "No one is going to touch his hair. If you lay one finger on his head, I'll cut what's left of your hair off myself." She threatened Haymitch as he laughed at her. He lifted his hands in surrender.

Peeta blushed again. "Uh…I need to take a shower so…" he said as he rushed over to Haymitch's house. "See you guys later."

"Dinner at 7 at Katniss' house," Effie yelled after him. "Don't be late." I watched as Peeta scurried over to Haymitch's as she escorted Katniss back to her home. "Come on, dear. We need to set the table. I have food prepared and ready in an hour." Katniss had a look of longing as she watched Peeta disappear inside the house. "Don't worry, you'll see Peeta later. I hope you don't mind my settling in. You did say I could stay with you…" They entered her home and closed the door behind them.

"Come on, Bron," I said. "Effie said dinner is at 7." Bron had a look of confusion on his face. "I have to call Johanna and tell her the news." I grabbed his hand and led him to our home. Things are definitely looking up for everyone. I needed to record this auspicious moment for Peeta and Katniss. Which reminds me, where is my camera?

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**Katniss POV – **

"Katniss, dear. Please stop biting your lip," Effie reprimanded me for the umpteenth time. I'm nervous and excited. Since the little jaunt through the woods with Peeta, I looked forward to seeing him again. Before the reaping, girls from school would giggle and gossip about their beaus like it was the most important thing in the world. I scoffed at their girlish and unrealistic goals. Love and sex was far from my priorities. The old Katniss Everdeen never giggled or got jealous. Sex was the furthest thing from my mind. I needed to survive to take care of Prim. There was no room for such frivolities.

I didn't realize that I was being unrealistic of my needs. There was more to my life than just surviving. Love, family and companionship were just as important as the air we breathe. This is the new me. Want, desire and love encompassed my thoughts and feelings. The thought of getting married and having children still frightened me even knowing that the days of Reaping are over. But I envisioned a little boy with curly blond hair running up to me with love in his crystal blue eyes. Peeta's eyes. I shivered of the thought of having his children. You got to have sex to have kids, right? I'm thinking way ahead of myself. Peeta and I are moving slowly back to each other.

To my annoyance Effie had convinced me to change my clothes to a _'more_ _appropriate'_ dining attire. I'm way too pleased as to how I spent my afternoon with Peeta that I didn't want to argue with her because it would have been futile. I'm happy and in love with my Boy with the Bread. She can do whatever she wanted. And boy did she take over. My dining table was set with dishes I never knew I possessed. A water goblet and wine glass glistened against two ornate silver candelabras. Where the heck did those come from? The settings were elegant that it rivaled a Capitol dinner party. Capitol reaping escort Effie Trinket had arrived at District 12 and had made her self at home while I was with Peeta. What was that saying, _'You can take the girl out the Capitol, but you can't take the Capitol out of the girl.'_ I love Effie anyway. I would not have managed without her in District 13. She and Haymitch were my rock.

I sighed and fidgeted as I sat waiting for everyone else to arrive. I turned my neck every time someone other than Peeta entered my home. Delly and Bron arrived first and teased me for my impatience. I missed Johanna and was saddened by her absence. My mind drifted to the last 72 hours. What I managed to accomplish within that short time. From my declaration during the baking contest to taking Peeta to the woods this afternoon, my life has changed for the better. I hope to take him to back 'our spot' sometime in the near future. I'll forever remember the vow we made to each other. I pray that I have the strength and the patience to wait for Peeta to completely give himself to me. As long as I have him I'll wait forever. He and Haymitch were the last to arrive.

Minutes later, I'm wide eyed and mouth agape as Peeta walked through the door. His hair was slicked back from his face. The diamond earrings on his lobes twinkled like starlight against his blond hair. He wore a light blue button down shirt and khaki pants with dark brown boots as well as a dark brown belt around his slim waist to secure his pants from falling. It's simple but so Peeta. He approached me with a shy smile as butterflies fluttered in my stomach. I'm a teenage girl in love after all. Haymitch greeted us as he handed two bottles of wine to Effie.

"Sorry we're late," Haymitch exclaimed. "We had to wait for Delly to make a last minute shopping stop since Peeta didn't have clothes to wear."

"It was no problem," Delly said. "I'm sure Katniss will take care of that later." She looked at me with a smile. I don't think she'll mind shopping for his clothes or dressing him up.

I mentally slapped myself for not thinking of his attire. He did lose everything in the fire. While I berated myself for not having the foresight to buy Peeta more clothes, he inched his way to me with a shy smile on his face.

"You look beautiful, Katniss," Peeta complimented me. I wore a simple light blue dress with black flats. My hair was down and cascaded down my shoulders. The style I knew Peeta liked. I blushed from his compliment as Delly giggled at my reaction. She took a picture of us with her camera again.

"Where is Johanna?" Effie asked.

"She's out on errand per my request," Haymitch clarified. "But she will be back soon, I promise."

"Shall we proceed to the dining table then?" Effie announced with her typical Capitol dramatic flair.

"Geez, Effie must you make everything like some grand enterprise," Haymitch huffed in annoyance and amusement. He knew how to push her buttons. I suspected he relished in it.

"Well, there is nothing wrong with adding or enjoying the finer things in life and a bit of pomp and circumstance," she said with derision. "You could do with some finery and elegance in your unrefined and barbaric world." They continued to banter with each other as we sat before the dining table. It felt odd without Johanna's presence. Our family felt incomplete.

"Before we commence with dinner," Effie proclaimed as she stood and raised a wine glass.

Haymitch snickered, "Aw hell…"

"Abernathy, manners please," Effie sneered. "We are not at your abode, so you do well to behave. I would like to make a toast." Peeta and Bron filled our glasses with wine then we raised them in salutation. "Since we were abruptly interrupted the last time we were together," she gazed at Peeta. "I would like to add not only best wishes to Peeta for your success at the new District 12 baker, but to also say I'm so pleased…" She paused and sobbed for a second, "for your safe return…and my gratitude to Katniss for receiving me into her home. May we all live a life we fought so hard to earn and to which we richly deserve. Thank you my dear friends for opening your home, your arms and your hearts to me." A tear trickled down her cheek as she saluted to all of us.

"I'd like to make a toast too," Peeta said as he stood up from beside me. "I want to make a toast to Johanna and everyone here. There are no words I could express for my eternal gratitude for all of you in my life. You've stood by me, supported me at a time when I thought I had nothing left in the world. Thank you for finding me…" He stopped as he fumbled with his speech. I stood up to hug him. "I'm sorry, I don't meant to get maudlin or sappy."

"We're happy too, Peeta," I said as I continued to hold him. His body trembled in my arms.

"Aw…you two are just so cute," Delly giggled with a big smile on her face. Bron winked at Peeta as Effie dabbed her eyes with a napkin. I sneered at Delly and her damn camera as she took more pictures of us. I want copies.

"This sickeningly sweet for my taste. So…for the last toast, I will add. To a happy and bright future for all of us." Haymitch exclaimed and belched. We laughed in relief and wonder. "Let's eat."

During dinner, Delly watched over Peeta to ensure that he ate a substantial meal. I narrowed my eyes as she took over the role I knew that was mine. She was fawning over him. If anyone was going to take of Peeta, it was going to be me. However, I had to remember that she was also his nurse as well as his oldest friend. There was no need for my jealousy but I felt it just the same. I thought of game and food to feed him. Clothes to buy and other necessities that he lacked due to the fire that burned everything he owned. Being his girlfriend wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I look forward to our new relationship and spending time with him.

"Peeta, you have to eat," Delly interrupted my thoughts. "You need to gain at least ten pound if you expect to receive treatments next month." She reminded me that he was leaving in four weeks, leaving me behind in 12.

"I can't eat all that," he said as he looked at his plate of sliced sirloin steak covered with mushrooms with a cup of mash potatoes on the side.

"I don't expect you to eat all of it," Delly insisted. "Just eat what you can and not just the potatoes."

"Delly," he whined.

"Don't Delly me," she said in her nurse mode. Bron sat beside her shoving food into his mouth like he hasn't eaten over a week.

Peeta picked a slice of steak. "So glad you're not my girlfriend; I don't know how you can stand it, Bron?" he snickered. "You're girlfriend is so mean." He had a mischievous glint in his eyes as he teased Delly.

With his spoon half way to his mouth, Bron looked at his said girlfriend who was waiting for him to defend her. "What?" he said aghast.

"Aren't you going to say something," Delly asked.

"That's between you and Peeta," Bron said as he shrugged his shoulders. "Besides, when you're in your work mode, you do get mean and bossy."

"I do not," she shrieked as she whipped her napkin at him.

"You do. Remember the time I got a cold and you…" Bron defended himself. Their banter faded into the background as reality was thrust before me. Peeta has to go back to the Capitol. I couldn't fathom what I would do without him. I knew that it was necessary for his treatments but I feared that once he's gone, I'd never see him again. What am I going to do while he's gone? Anxiety churned my stomach that the food Effie made tasted bland. I didn't want him out of my sight. For now, he sat beside me amused at Delly and Bron's fighting between them. My thoughts and mind were jumbled.

An hour later, I'm nestled in Peeta's arms in the living room after having enjoyed a plate of pastries Effie ordered from town. I'm stuffed and full from dinner I couldn't taste and several glasses of wine. To say that I'm buzzed and dizzy was an understatement. I'm happy and relaxed. Thoughts of Peeta leaving didn't exist in my mind. I lay my head in contentment on Peeta's shoulder when Haymitch cleared his throat interrupting a peaceful moment.

"I'm sorry to have to bring this up, but…" he interjected. As soon as he spoke my stomach dropped. "I don't want to make the same mistake again. To what happened to Peeta days before." He continued, "I told Paylor everything. So she has assigned Peeta's a personal body guard until this whole incident is resolved." My happy bubbled burst within seconds. Effie gasped in horror.

"Haymitch, you could have waited until tomorrow to make that announcement," Effie shrieked. "You're so indelicate sometimes. Look at what you just did?" She pointed to Peeta and me. "This evening was supposed to be a night of celebration and relaxation."

"No one can relax until Peeta's safety is secured," Haymitch pointed out to us. Tonight's celebration was just a reprieve. Peeta's life was still in danger despite how happy I felt at the moment. Thank you, Haymitch.

"What do you mean?" I asked. "Who is guarding Peeta?" I clutched his waist tight against me as Peeta laid his chin on the top of my head.

"Paylor has assigned Bron to watch over him whenever he's in town or outside the Victor's Village," Haymitch said with a stern look on his face. "He is never to leave without Bron shadowing him. There is room for argument or further discussion, it's a direct order from Paylor herself."

"I don't understand why she cares," Peeta reiterated. "It's not like she cares about me."

"Well, Katniss cares about you," Haymitch added. "A by extension Paylor cares about you."

"Paylor is a politician," Bron added. "She wants to make sure the Mockingjay stays happy. Panem owes their lives to Katniss."

"And Peeta," Effie concluded.

"I don't care why," I said. "As long as Peeta is protected that all care about."

I sighed in relief. I trusted Bron, I trusted him to protect Peeta if I couldn't be with him at all times. "Just be glad it's Bron. She wanted someone else. Someone who she thought she could trust to protect Peeta."

Haymitch looked at him. "She doesn't know your background or history, she thought you wanted someone familiar from 12." I winced as I realized who she had planned to guard him. "Paylor was going to assign her newly appointed First Guardsmen, Gale Hawthorne to protect Peeta. She thought Katniss would be pleased with the idea."

"He better not get near Peeta, Haymitch," I threatened.

"I know. I didn't say anything about your fallout with him, Katniss," Haymitch said. "I convinced her to assign Bron since Peeta knew him through Delly, and he's already assigned here. He was the most logical and best choice."

"I swear Haymitch," I seethed as stood up and paced the room. "I don't give a shit if he's Paylor's favorite guard dog, if he ever gets Peeta, I'll kill him."

"Katniss, manners," Effie bawled. "I know he hurt you, but to say such a thing."

I was so livid that I didn't realize Peeta stood up and grabbed my hand. I could never erase the mistakes I made in regards to Gale. The boy in the woods who I had leaned and depended on was gone once I was reaped. I came back different and should have acknowledged it. I insisted that the Games and the Capitol didn't change me but I had changed. "Katniss, it's all right. Bron is assigned to me remember?" he tried to calm me.

"He'll never hurt you, Peeta," I swore to him.

"He can try," Peeta answered. "I've fought bigger and more powerful enemies, Katniss. Gale is not a threat to me. I can stand on my own against him."

"I know you can," I admitted. "But he's convinced that we belong together. I never wanted him that way, ever." I wanted to reassure Peeta that he was not a threat to us; that I didn't want him in my life, even as a friend. Peeta still looked skeptical. I couldn't blame him.

"Gale Hawthorne is not an issue with me," Bron interrupted us. "He may be my boss but I protect Peeta from him. So unless I'm told otherwise, I'll watch and protect you with my life. I'll gladly do it."

"Bron, please don't put yourself out there like that," Peeta said as he gazed back at Delly. She was smiling at Bron. A proud countenance displayed on her face.

"You'd do the same for me, Peeta," he said with sincerity. "You'd make sure that I be protected so I can come home to Delly."

He extended his hand to Bron. "I'm grateful that it's you, Bron," Peeta said.

"From now on, I'm your shadow," Bron added. "You can do whatever it is you need to do, but you have me to watch your back. I won't let anything happen to you, Peeta. That's a promise." Delly stood up and hugged her boyfriend and mine. I scowled at her as she laughed at me. The phone rang startling all of us especially Peeta. I was reluctant to leave the room so Effie answered it. After a few seconds, she returned.

"Peeta, Johanna is on the phone and would like to speak to you," she said as she handed the receiver to him. He left the room phone in hand and a small smile on his face.

I'm frustrated and impatient for his return as mundane conversation swirled around me. As I waited for Peeta to come back, Haymitch decided to turn on the TV to amuse himself. Unfortunately, Gale appeared on the screen.

"This is Arn DeVille reporting from live District 8," he announced. Gale was right beside him dressed in his usual black uniform clutching a long rifle. He had shaved off his beard that he looked like the Gale I once knew. However, the look in his eyes reminded me that he wasn't the same boy I hunted with in the woods. They were hard and cold. The scar I had inflicted on him hardened his looks.

"Haymitch, will you please turn that off before Peeta comes back," I reprimanded him. Too late, I heard Peeta enter the room.

"Haymitch, Johanna wants to talk to you," he disclosed in a monotone and dull manner as he looked into the TV screen. His eyes were focused and clear but his posture spoke volumes. He was stiff and tense. Haymitch turned off the monitor and took the receiver from him.

"It's okay, Katniss," Peeta relayed. "I told you, he's not a threat to me." He grabed my hand. "He can't hurt us. No one can as long as we stick together, we protect each other like always."

"When is Johanna coming back?" Delly said to distract the tension in the air.

"She's not coming back for another week," he answered. "I think she's thinking about visiting Annie in 4. Just to make sure she's okay since she is all alone there."

"That's a good idea," I added. I haven't even considered Annie and how she was doing.

I hoped that Johanna could convince Annie to visit 12 since I couldn't leave to see her and the baby. My idea was nixed as Peeta relayed his concern for her safety.

"I wanted us all together so I asked her if she wanted to live in 12 but she refused.

I understand her reluctance to live anywhere else in Panem," he said in a sad tone. "She's better off in 4 away from me and my situation. Maybe when this is over we can visit her. The beaches are beautiful there.

"She wants to raise baby Finn at District 4," Delly added. "Finnick would have wanted that."

What a lovely thought, a week at the beach with Peeta. That is, if Paylor would ever lift my banishment to 12. Haymitch sauntered back with a sour look on his face. "Um…just letting you know that Dr. Aurelius called after I spoke to Johanna." He addressed Peeta. "He wants me to remind you that you have to call in for a session soon."

Peeta moaned and slumped back into the sofa. Since his return, he had not spoken to anyone about his ordeal. My guess is that Peeta doesn't want to remember. I feared for his state of mind. I couldn't push him to talk to me but at least he had Dr. Aurelius. "Make an appointment soon, Peeta," Delly remarked. "The sooner you get it done, the sooner it'll over." He took a deep breath and nodded his head. There was fear in his eyes.

Later that night, Peeta announced that he was turning in for the night and headed back to Haymitch's home. My attempt to join him was waylaid by Effie. She lectured me for sleeping in Peeta's bed without the benefit of marriage. It was inappropriate and unlady-like. Blah, blah blah. As soon as her sermon commenced Delly and Bron retired for the evening and headed out to their own home. I envied their freedom and level of intimacy.

I sat upright against the headboard in my own bed clutching a pillow wishing that Peeta was holding me. My crown of flowers laid on a pillow next to me where he should be. This was not how I wanted my night to end. I can never sleep without him besides me his warmth and arms comforting me, warding off my nightmares. Fuck this, I wanted Peeta and I'm going to sleep with my boyfriend even if it's just literally sleeping together. I fought against Snow and the Capitol. No Capitol escort is going to stop me from getting some Peeta-pillow time. I tiptoed out of my room and hoped that I wouldn't wake up Effie. My hunter's feet tread passed her room and down my stairs. The feeling of liberation and mischief bubbled in my chest as I opened Haymitch door and entered uninvited. Just as I thought, Haymitch was settled upon his favorite armchair with a flask in his hand. He's fast asleep, thank God. I'm thankful that he hadn't return to drowning himself with liquor. He made great strides to making a better life for himself realizing that alcohol was not his lifetime companion. He'll always have us. I wouldn't know what we'd do without him.

Uncertain to which room Peeta had occupied, I opened the guest room door. On the large bed, Peeta laid on his stomach with a blanket half covering his body. He wore no shirt but a pair of black boxer shorts that looked a bit too large for him. I walked closer in silence to climb into the bed when I heard a whimper.

"Please stop," he whispered as he twitched and cried in his sleep. "Get away from me."

"Peeta, wake up," I said as I tapped his shoulder. I didn't want to alarm or startle him. I shook his shoulder again as he turned over gathering the sheet around his legs entrapping him. "Peeta, you're having a bad dream."

He continued to struggle as he thrashed on the bed causing him to fall off and land hard on the floor. "Peeta!" He opened his eyes suddenly. They were cloudy and unfocused.

"Katniss?" he croaked. "Don't hurt me anymore." He placed a hand over his chest, shielding his heart.

I sobbed as I covered my mouth with my hand. "Peeta, I didn't…I would never…" I whimpered as I placed a hand on his cheek. "Focus, Peeta. You were having a bad dream. Don't you remember…I would never hurt Peeta, never." Tears tracked down my cheeks. My throat felt tight as I inhaled a deep breath to stop the ache in my chest from bursting. I felt as though someone had lodged a knife on my chest and twisted hard and deep into my soul.

He blinked a few times adjusting his vision from dream state to reality. "Katniss, why are you crying?" He choked up in concern. "I didn't hurt you, did I? Please tell me I didn't hurt you." He sobbed into tears as he placed his hands over my throat. I tensed for a moment reliving a memory of our reunion at 13. He retracted his hands when he realized that he wrapped his hands around my neck." Oh, God, stay away from me. This is a mistake." He wailed as if he's in pain.

"Peeta, I'm sorry. Please believe me when I tell you, you didn't hurt me," I interjected. "It was a bad reaction because of the first time…see?" I placed his hand back onto my throat. "You didn't touch me. I'm okay, we're okay." He continued to sob that it broke my heart. "You would never hurt me like that again, Peeta. Never again."

"You don't know that," he retracted. "What are you doing here?"

"I missed you," I admitted. "I missed sleeping with you."

"We can't do this," he whined as he yanked his hand from my throat and inched himself away from me.

"Yes, we can," I demanded as I felt fear and loss from him. He's pulling away from me not just physically. "You're not running from me. I want this, Peeta. Please don't leave me." I grabbed both his shoulders to face me.

"How can I keep you safe?" he said, "I'm not safe around you. I almost killed you once, how do you know it won't happen again?"

"Because I believe in you," I answered. I climbed on to his lap straddling him. His skin felt warm against my hands. "Since you came back, you have never hurt me. Or tried to hurt me. You would rather die than hurt me, Peeta. That is why I feel safe with you."

"You're gambling with your life to be with me," he sniffled.

"It's not a gamble when I know 100% that you would never touch me or hurt me in any way," I exclaimed as I wrapped my arms around his neck touching his forehead against mine. "I'm more concern that you're afraid that I'll hurt you."

"I know that you would never hurt me, Katniss. Not intentionally anyway." He simpered as he turned his head avoiding my contact. It hurt that he still felt that way

"You know I'm not good with words," I said. "My actions have been despicable and hurtful in the past. But we're talking about now." He shivered as I held him in my arms.

"I'll never hurt intentionally like I know you would never hurt me."

"I'm so confused," Peeta admitted. "My dreams are blending with my memories. I can't tell what's real anymore. I know who you are…what you used to mean to me…what you mean to me now."

I gulped and dared to ask but feared for the answer. "What do I mean to you?" I asked.

"You're light and dark. Good and bad," he said. "You're a blessing and a curse. You're my sunrise and sunset. The closer I got to you the more unreachable you've become. I wanted you for so long that I nearly died for my want of you. Nothing and no one else mattered to me. I'm afraid to hope again."

"I'm scared too, Peeta," I said. "Every time I've opened myself to someone, they were taken away from me. You've become everything to me."

"I don't know if I should gamble your life to fulfill my only wish and desire," he added.  
"You took a risk coming here in the middle of what could have been an episode."

"You had a bad dream, Peeta. That's all," I reassured him. "And I'll stand by you through all your dreams and nightmares. You've always been with me with mine. You've held me and comforted me through all of them without asking for nothing in return since the Victory Tour. It's my turn now. I'm here with you, always. Do you want to talk about it?"

"I can't," he said as he shook his head then wrapped his lean arms around my waist and laid his head against my shoulder. He felt wonderful with his chest pressed to mine. I can feel his heart beating against me. His dream really shook him. We held each other for a while in silence and in comfort.

"Come on, let's get back into bed. The floor is cold and uncomfortable," I mentioned as I stood up and extended my hand.

"Uh…Katniss?" he said as he assessed his attire. "I only have my boxers on."

"So?" I snickered. "I've seen you naked before." A lifetime ago back in the first games, that is. Back at the time when I first knew I was attracted to him but buried my thoughts and feelings.

"Please, Katniss," he begged. "Turn around." The guestroom was dark but Peeta managed to turn a shade of pink on his cheeks that I can detect. His long shaggy hair was tousled as he looked up at me with his sleepy eyes. He looked young and vulnerable.

"Okay," I pouted. It wasn't fair that other women have seen him naked recently. I'm his girlfriend and I should have that privilege. I climbed onto the bed as he stood up and wrapped the bed sheet around his shoulders covering him. He ran into the bathroom and closed the door. "For crying out loud, most of the females you know have seen you naked. Why are you going shy on me now?" I mumbled to myself. _'Half naked Peeta looked yummy and delish, but naked Peeta all together. Now that's something I expect to…'_

My lecherous thoughts were interrupted when he entered the room to join me. He wore a pair of light blue pajama top and bottom as he carried back the bed sheet with him. I folded my arms in vexation. I was so looking forward to sleeping next to him half naked with only his boxer shorts on.

"Did you say something?" Peeta asked as he joined me in bed unaware of my frustration.

"Nope," I lied. I'm relieved. I was afraid he would break up with me and run off to another district leaving me alone. He wasn't rejecting me. His greatest fear was that he would hurt me. Mine, was that he would realize that I'm self-absorbed and possessive. I couldn't help it. I never felt this way before.

Peeta settled himself on the bed lying on his back with one arm extended to me. I placed my head at my usual spot on his chest with his arms around me. It's been the longest week in my life. But I would never complain or regret the outcome. Peeta grasped my hand and laid it on top of his chest as I drifted off to sleep thinking this is where I always want to be. I was close to nirvana as I heard his voice penetrating the quiet night.

"Thank you for being with me, Katniss," he whispered.

"Always," I answered back.

The next morning I awaken to a loud crashing sound that reverberate the house's foundation. I reached for Peeta to find an empty space beside me. I rushed down the stairs looking for him still wearing my t-shirt and shorts. I'm in a state of panic that I had not even slipped on a pair of shoes. Stomping down the stairs, I looked around the house. He was nowhere in sight. The crash continued that it startled Haymitch from his sleep as he reached within the sofa cushion for a hand knife.

"What the hell! What's going on?" Haymitch screeched flailing his arm in the air for an unknown attacker.

"Where's Peeta?" I asked as fear crept through my veins.

"Upstairs asleep," he answered as he put down the knife. "Where is that noise coming from?

"He isn't, I woke up alone and he was gone," I corrected him. "The sound woke me up." Haymitch eyed me for a second. Without hesitating we both ran outside the door. I sighed in relief when we found him standing in the middle of the street looking at his house as the wreckage was being cleared. He's bare-foot and still in his pajamas. A construction crew and large machines were demolishing the rest of his house.

"Peeta," I yelled as I ran to him. "I woke up and you were gone. Don't scare me like that." I wrapped him in my arms. He felt cold from standing in the crisp morning air.

"Aw shit, I forgot to tell him that a crew was coming today," Haymitch whined. "Sorry, Peeta. I should have told you last night."

"It's okay, Haymitch," Peeta said. "You had a lot on your mind. We all have." Bron, Delly and Effie joined us as we watched his house get demolished.

"Oh my God, I thought we were being attacked again," Delly said as her voice shook. Bron held her in his arms as she trembled and had tears in her eyes. I had forgotten that Delly was one of the few who had survived from the bombing; the bombs that was sent from the Capitol in retribution for my destroying the arena.

Minutes later, Effie herded us into my home since everyone was up and about. We prepared breakfast as each of us was assigned with a task given by her. Every few seconds I glanced at Peeta to gauge his state of mind. He appeared solemn and subdued.

"I was going to make some bread this morning when I heard the crew setting up," he said. "I got distracted when I heard them. I'm sorry I don't have any bread this morning."

"You shouldn't have ran out on your own," Bron reprimanded him.

"I was curious when I saw the guys and all the equipment they brought over," he said as he shrugged his shoulders.

"Bron, don't start. It's not like he wondered off," Delly added. "It's all right, Peeta. You just got back from the hospital. You can make us bread tomorrow."

"You should have woke me," I said. "I could have kept you company." I didn't like waking up without him. When we started to sleep together, I would rise before him to avoid any awkwardness. It was always me leaving him. It was a habit borne from the days during the Victory Tour. I realized how cruel and selfish that was. I felt empty and rejected when I reached out to him this morning. I winced when I realized this was how he must have felt each time I left him alone.

"You were sleeping peacefully next to me, and I wanted to surprise you with some Cheese Buns," he admitted. I smiled at his admission, but felt shame and guilt at the same time. His eyes were warm and soft. There were no recrimination or accusation.

However, I'm still not able to read him like I used to. Before the Quarter Quell, I dared not look into his eyes for they revealed every hurt and pain I inflicted on him. The look of love and adoration he projected I ignored because I was foolish to think that I didn't want it. It was an emotional burden I couldn't afford to acknowledge. I didn't want to love anyone, especially a Merchant Boy.

My heart swelled at the sight of him in his light blue pajamas and… I realized that we're both barefoot and wearing the clothes we slept in. Well, everyone was still in their pajamas except for Haymitch whose clothes he wore from the night before. Already dressed, Effie was gorgeous in a simple light green dress, tights and…platform shoes? Her hair was pulled back away from her face. She wore minimum makeup, which didn't surprise me. After all, such extravagance was not necessary in 12 as I got used to her new look back in 13.

"Effie, I'm going to Haymitch's for a second," I announced as I went into a hallway closet and put on a pair of boots. As I was about to leave, a young man in his early 20's knocked upon my door. He wore a dark green uniform shirt and dark pants. On his front left pocket was labeled, 'Dawn's Floral Boutique.'

"Excuse me, uhm…I don't know where to drop this off since the house I'm looking for no longer exists," he explained and gestured towards the wrecking crew. "I have a delivery for Mr. Peeta Mellark." My heart and stomach dropped at the sight of a white rectangular box he held in his arms. "I'm assuming I can't drop this off since you're his neighbor and all."

"Peeta," I yelled. He must have detected the anxiety and fear in my voice because he rushed from the kitchen with Haymitch, Delly, Bron and Effie right behind him.

"Katniss, what's wrong?" he asked with concern in his eyes. I pointed at the box. In an instant he gasped and his face paled to ghostly white. Peeta placed himself in front of me and grabbed the box. "Who sent this?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Mellark," the delivery man said. "I only deliver the boxes. I don't know who sent it to you." Peeta turned and went straight to the dining room and placed the box on the table. I followed after him as Haymitch dealt with the delivery man.

The box was elegant and pristine white. A silky metallic white bow was wrapped around the short side. Peeta slipped the bow off and lifted the top to reveal a dozen Snow roses nestled in white chiffon. A white card with an embossed rose lay on top. His hands shook as he read the card.

"What does it say?" Haymitch asked as he walked in the room. Peeta looked at him in a daze that he grabbed the note from his hand. "Peeta Mellark, traitor, killer, dead." he read. "Delly call Johanna. Tell her to come home as soon as she can."

Whatever peace we had was short lived. I'm glad that Peeta and I finally have a chance to find our way back to each other. However, we must resolve his stalking situation soon. The stress and the strain might put Peeta on edge and cause him to relapse. We've been lucky so far that he's been handling it well. I noted that I spoke too soon as Peeta threw the box across the room with an anguished look on his face.

"I'm done, Haymitch," Peeta said in a stern voice. "I'm done being a victim. This is going to stop."

"Peeta, it will. You have to be patient," Haymitch said as he picked up the box off the floor. "I'm sending this to Beetee to see if he can trace where they came from. I doubt they were sent from District 12. These are Presidential Snow Roses especially grown in the Capitol. They are a special order and only a few can get access to them."

"I don't care where they're grown," Peeta retorted. "I got lucky the last time. I may be dead the next time he gets an opportunity." I gasped in horror. "I should leave 12, I'm endangering everyone I know." He's scared and irrational from fear.

"No, Peeta," I said. "You can't leave and run away. I won't let anything happen to you."

"He won't get another chance, Peeta," Bron said. "I swore to protect and I will."

"I can't have people risking their lives for me," he said in return. "He wants me. I'm tired of waiting for the next shoe to drop. Who's to say that he won't come after any of you? I can't take that risk."

"Don't do anything to get yourself killed, Peeta. You're not alone in this," Haymitch warned him. "You didn't survive two arenas, your hijacking and a rebellion to throw you life away. If you get hurt or get killed, we are never going to forgive you for being selfish."

"Selfish, how am I being selfish when all I want is to keep all of you safe?" Peeta yelled. Delly stepped next to him, she reached over to check on his wristband. He snatched his arm away from her. "I'm pissed and not having any episode, Delly so keep your hands to yourself."

"Peeta, just calm down," Delly said with patience and in a calm demeanor. I'm scared for him. His monitor displayed a green light indicating that the venom in his blood was not elevated to a danger level. He really was angry and pissed off.

"Why is this happening to me?" he screamed at the top of his lungs. "I want to live the rest of my life in peace…to be left alone…what have done?" His eyes were red as he fought to control tears from falling. "What have I done to deserve this…dammit. Who did I piss off that would want me dead?"

"You didn't do anything wrong, Peeta," I tried to reassure him.

"Whoever he is…its just some sick person who's latched on to you." Haymitch answered. "He's crazy and there is no logic with his obsession to you. You didn't do anything wrong, okay? Get that into your thick skull."

"I want this to end," Peeta sobbed, the heel of his hands covering his eyes as he gritted his teeth. "I feel like I'm being tortured." I wrapped my arms around him but he felt tense and stiff in my embrace. When he dropped his hands from his face, his eyes were unfocused and dazed.

"We'll get through this," I said to him as I stared in his blue eyes that was rimmed with tears he fought to subdue. "You and me, Peeta. Just like always."

"We're all behind you, Peeta," Haymitch added. "All of us here are going to have your back no matter what."

"Bron, Johanna and I are not going anywhere," Delly said as she reached for her boyfriend. "We protect each other just like you said."

"We're family, Peeta," Effie announced. "We survived together and we stick together through thick and thin. Never forget that."

"We fought for this life, Peeta," I reminded him. "We have each other now and for always.

"Group hug everybody," Delly squealed while Effie gathered everyone into a circle. Haymitch blustered his disapproval even though he wrapped his arms around Effie and Delly. With Peeta at the center, we held on to each other. I felt his warm lips graze my forehead. I'm scared, happy and anxious. Peeta is right, however. This has to end soon. We cannot move forward with this hovering over us. There is so much at stake. As I look upon my new family and friends, at least I know that the odds are in my favor. Peet and I are getting our happily ever after and no one is going to stop us.

* * *

**_AN: Thank you for your patience and for reading this chapter. If you found any mistakes, please forgive me. It's been a very long and difficult week. Have a great weekend._**


	20. Chapter 20 - The Long Road to Recovery

Chapter 20 – The Long Road to Recovery

_AN: Missed me, how about an update to start the weekend. All rights belong to Suzanne Collins. Thanks to my faithful reviewers and the people who favored and alerted my fic. You know who you are. ;) This chapter is dedicated to you._

* * *

**Katniss POV – **

The next couple of days were tense and anxiety filled. As expected, Effie lectured me again for hours on the inappropriate behavior of my sneaking off to sleep with Peeta. I ignored her reprimand since there is no way I'd sleep without him, ever. Peeta never uttered a word as he sat beside me while Effie went on and on. He held my hand throughout the reprimand with a shy smile on his face. The next night he crept to my bed in return while laughing at Effie's disapproval when she caught him the next morning trying to sneak out.

"Why don't you move in?" Haymitch sneered at me one night as I led Peeta upstairs to his room ready for bed.

"You keep quiet," I said. "You promised us you'd stopped drinking." I pointed to the bottle he had clutched in his hand.

"It's been a rough few days. You know I have stopped drinking. I drink occasionally, give me a break," he scoffed. "I'm going to need this with the way you two are carrying on. Sneaking off into each other's beds."

"You know, we're just sleeping, Haymitch," Peeta defended us.

"Ignore him," I commented. "He's just jealous."

"Oh I don't think so," Haymitch guffawed. "You would have to pay me to sleep next to you. Or be completely stinking drunk. Still don't get what you see in her, Peet." He pointed the bottle at me. Peeta blushed but kept silent as I waved my middle finger at Haymitch's direction. He ran up the room leaving me behind with Haymitch.

"Stop teasing him," I said. "You know damn well that we sleep better when we're together. You're embarrassing him. We need each other."

"Hence, that's why I suggested that you move in already," he cackled. "Just keep your doors and windows closed. Move in for all I care."

"Damn right, I would if Peeta asked me," I said. I would too, in a heartbeat. And it wasn't because I wanted to protect him but because I wanted him in my life and in my bed as my best friend and lover. He's already lodged deep in my heart and soul. Living with him would be the next logical step in our relationship. I didn't dare to ask. It would be his decision to ask me. I would do anything to keep him by my side. Losing him now, it would be the end of me. I'm still scared that someone or something is going to take him away from me. So I'll fight and wage war against anyone wanting to take the life I wanted with him.

"Well, you can't," Haymitch reiterated. "He's too polite to ask. Just do me a favor. Keep the noise down."

I scoffed and scowled back at him. The so-called noise he was referring to was Peeta and I taking turns having nightmares. Now that I have him, my nightmares were about losing him. In my dreams an unknown assailant killed him right before my eyes as I watched paralyzed. Peeta dreamt of choking me like when he first arrived in 13. The nightmares were reoccurring that he would demand that I tie his hands as he lay beside me. I refused each time. He even approached Haymitch who looked at him in shock and amusement.

"Peeta, I'm glad that you and Katniss have finally figured out that you belong together," he said, "but try to keep your kinky sex life to yourself. Bondage? Never knew you had that in you. Both of you." There was a mischievous glint in his eyes. I scolded Peeta for embarrassing us. Embarrassment aside, I continued to sleep with him at Haymitch's house no matter how many times he teased us with his bondage comment. It was better than having to listen to Effie's lectures. Like I said, if Peeta asked me to move into Haymitch's home so I can be with him, I'd pack my clothes so quickly, it would make Effie's head spin.

Speaking of Effie, she can have my house since she had moved in without my knowledge. Six large suitcases or rather trunks arrived yesterday at my home. I thought she brought her Capitol furniture over when I discovered they were her clothes, shoes and accessories. She had them stored in my mother's room and the extra guestroom next to Prim's. The rest were stored in a storage facility in town.

"Katniss, why is this door locked?" she asked as she tried to enter my late sister's bedroom.

"It's Prim's," I answered and let no room for discussion. "No one goes in there and it's stays locked for a reason." She was wise to not argue with me.

* * *

I'm new to this relationship thing and I'm trying to navigate and adjust to my role as Peeta's girlfriend and not an ally. We're free to be ourselves with each other. I didn't know when or how to approach him in certain matters. I'm glad that Delly is monitoring and managing his sessions since I noticed that he has not made his appointment with Dr. Aurelius. The next day Bron, Delly, Peeta and I were having lunch at her home when Delly broached the subject.

"It's been days since you got back from the hospital," Delly reminded him. "You have to call him soon." Peeta ignored her. "Peeta, I'm going to keep reminding you until you make your appointment." He dropped his utensils, which was clutched in his shaky hands. With both Delly and I managing his food intake, he's gained 3 pounds. He fought us every step of the way.

"Just because you placed the food in my plate, doesn't mean I'll eat it all," Peeta mentioned.

"You need ten pounds on you before you go to the Capitol," Delly reminded him.

"I already know that, stop pushing me," he said as he gritted his teeth in annoyance. "I barely kept myself from throwing up the last meal, Delly."

"Why didn't you tell us?" I asked. I wanted him to eat to get getter not worse.

"I know that you and Delly are trying to help," he quipped back. "Just don't push me into eating everything. I'm doing the best I can without feeling sick to my stomach."

I stared back at Delly. She was forlorn and worried. "Why don't we start by having 4-5 small meals instead of 3 big ones instead?" she advised. "That way your stomach can adjust to the meals."

Peeta nodded his head in agreement. "Thank you," he said. "I have an appointment with Kara in a couple of days. She monitoring my progress until I leave for the Capitol." Guess I know where I'll be in a couple of days. She may be his doctor, but she's still a woman who's fond of him.

"Which reminds me when are you going to call Dr. Aurelius?" Delly added.

"I'll call him when I'm ready," Peeta snapped at her. "You're my friend and my nurse. You're not my mother." He was so furious and moody. We were having a pleasant time, but the reminder was necessary for his recovery. Delly was taking care of him in her own way. All I could do was calm him down. "I tired of people treating me like I'll break if I don't talk to him or if I'm eating enough. Call Dr. Aurelius, Peeta. Eat more, Peeta. Stop nagging me."

"Peeta, as your nurse, I can force you to go back to the Capitol," Delly reminded him. Bron flinched at her tone. He had remained quiet throughout the exchange. Nothing affected his appetite as he shoved chicken and mashed potatoes into his mouth. "It was part of the agreement you made with him so you can return to 12. Or you can make an appointment and have your session in the comfort of my home."

"Fuck, Delly. Stop pushing me," he wailed as his hands shook. "I'm not ready."

"You'll never be ready," Delly soothed him. "I know you don't want to talk about it. But we are all here with you. Bron, Haymitch, Katniss and I, we won't let anything happen to you."

"I'm scared," he admitted. "I don't remember what happened to me."

"That's why you have to do it," she said. "You need to face your fears."

"It's just too soon," he added.

"Where is the Peeta Mellark I knew that fell in love with a girl who didn't know he existed," she teased. "He wasn't scared to tell her how he felt about her during your first interview. He announced it to all of Panem."

"He was rejected and hijacked to kill her and, he almost succeeded," he confessed. His eyes were brimmed with tears as I took his trembling hand in mine.

"And yet, I'm still here with you," I said. "No matter what happened, I'm not going anywhere, I promise." I cupped his face in my hands. "We are forever, remember that."

Peeta and I gazed at each other for a moment as if we were the only two people left in the world. I saw a glimpse of recognition in his eyes. For a moment I found my Boy with the Bread. There was determination in his blue orbs. Then the moment shattered as Delly interrupted us. "I'm making the appointment for tomorrow afternoon." Peeta gulped and nodded his head.

"I'm sorry I snapped at you," he apologized a moment later as he twirled his spoon around his mashed potatoes.

"It's okay, Peeta," she said.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," Peeta admitted. "I feel like I'm being stung by tracker jackers all the time. Invisible hands touching me everywhere. I hear buzzing in my head. I'm crawling out of my skin."

"It's obvious that you're traumatized," Delly said. "And you need to unlock your memories so you can heal from it. Your subconscious won't let you go on with your daily activity. You know all this, Peeta. That's why you need to have a session with Dr. Aurelius."

"What if I hurt someone?" he said.

'You won't, you never have and you're not going to start now," Delly said with such confidence. She believed in him, just like I did. "You'd hurt yourself before you ever hurt anyone." She took his hand into hers. "Just promise me that once you know everything that has happened to you, you won't run from us. Try to protect us." He kept silent for a moment like as if he was arguing with himself.

"I know you," Delly added. "You promise me or at least to Katniss that you won't run and do something stupid like turn away from us. Especially Katniss."

"You swear to me," I said with steel voice and my eyes. "You swear and promise me that you will not run or hide from me. You will swear on father's memory." He gasped in horror. "You've never lied to me. Don't start now."

"I promise," he whispered as he kissed the top of my hand as a vow. His lips lingered for a second then he placed his head on top of my hand. I could have sworn he said, _'Please forgive me.'_

Before I could ask him what he meant Delly announced, "Now that we have that settled, I think that we need to do something fun today." Her quick turn around from nurse Delly to just Delly had my head spinning. It was must have surprised Bron as well.

"Are you back into girlfriend mode," Bron teased her. "Because you know, Nurse Delly is not fun."

"You weren't complaining two nights ago," she snickered. Bron blushed the deepest red I've ever seen possible on a human as Delly laughed at him. "Guess I'm going to retire my outfit." She winked at me as Bron gasped in shock.

"Delly, you're my best friend," Peeta interjected. "I don't need or want to know about your sex life. Eww, really." He shuddered in disgust. "I think I need to have my brain flushed from the images I'm getting." I laughed and sighed in relief for Peeta's change in demeanor. Thank you Delly for always being the brightest thing in our lives. I'll always love Prim; she will never be replaced by anyone, but I consider Delly the closest I have to another sister. With her long blond hair and blues eyes, she reminded me of Prim. Even down to her positive outlook in life and the love she spread and gave to those around her.

"I want to go to town," Delly proclaimed out of the blue. "Bron and I are thinking of getting a dog."

"Oh, that's awesome," Peeta exclaimed. "I always wanted a dog, but my parents wouldn't allow a pet at the bakery."

"Do you think that's a good idea with everything that's been happening?" I asked.

"Bron suggested it," she said. "He wants to have one while he's watching over Peeta. We get a pet and a guard dog at the same time." Bron smiled at me. I would have never thought to own a dog for the purpose of protecting Peeta. Owning a pet was a luxury I couldn't afford; another mouth to feed.

"I've been meaning to get one even before all this," Bron said. "Now seems like a perfect time to introduce him or her to our family."

"I want to get one someday," Peeta said with a wistful look on his face. "So are you thinking of getting one today?" He was so happy and at ease. "Do you know what kind of dog, a boy or a girl?" He prattled on like a little boy as if he was the one getting the canine. I noted to myself that when things get settled I'll surprise one day with a dog of his own.

As the four of us marched into town, Delly held Peeta by the arm. Bron and I stayed behind them watching our significant other talk between themselves. I'm a bit peeved that they gravitated towards each other than to Bron and myself. He is my boyfriend and not Delly's.

"I should be jealous but I'm not," Bron said as he walked beside me.

"Oh," I said with a scowl. "Why not?" He must have noticed my annoyance.

"Because by the end of the day I know who will be sleeping besides me," he stated. "I know who Peeta truly loves. Just as I know that Delly loves me." My thoughts were interrupted when Delly laughed, a big belly laugh. Peeta had a look of confusion on his face. I swore his lips were pouty.

"You're full of shit, Peeta and you know it," she guffawed. "Katniss will never allow it."

"I can if I want to," he defied her.

"What will I not allow?" I asked as their conversation peeked my curiosity.

"He wants to cut his hair off," Delly answered and smirked at me.

"It's his hair, Delly," I said as I shrugged my shoulders. "He can do whatever he wants with it." Peeta had a smug look on his face. Why would Delly think that I'd prevent him from cutting his own hair?

"You don't understand, Katniss," she snickered. "He wants to cut it all off." I gasped in horror and panic. I ran up to him and grabbed his arm.

"How short?" I asked.

"I don't know," he said as he flipped his bangs away from his eyes. "Maybe really short, like a buzz cut."

"Don't you dare, Peeta," I threatened him. "Why in hell would you want to do that?"

"I don't know," he reiterated. "I just thought I should try it for a while. See what it's like. Besides, the weather's getting really hot. And my hair is getting too long. I don't know if I want to go to town to have it done. Maybe Delly can do it."

"No way, I'm touching your hair," Delly smirked. "Katniss would kill me."

"No," I yelped. "I don't care how hot it is. You're not getting buzz cut. I won't allow it."

"It's my hair, Katniss," he said as I reached over to grab the back of his neck.

"You better not cut off all your hair," I demanded, staring into his baby blue eyes.

"You can't stop me," he snickered. I narrowed my eyes at him. By now, he's immune to my scowl, but I have a secret weapon.

"Peeta, you cut off your hair and I'll cut off mine," I said. I mimicked my hand like a pair of scissors while I pretend to cut it off by my shoulders. He's shocked and speechless. Delly and Bron were amused with our banter. I knew that Peeta loved my hair especially when I had it down. At night while I pretended to sleep he would caress my hair between this fingers.

I tilted my head in defiance as we were both in a stalemate. I loved running my hands through his locks. I'm in love with everything about him, from his head to his toes. And from everything in between like his blond eyelashes, his smooth chest to the slight dimples on the small of his back that led to his firm muscular butt.

"At a girl, Katniss," Delly howled. "That's just as good as withholding sex from him. I know he's in love with you hair."

"Delly, stop," Peeta blushed. I grumbled since there was no sex between us. He wasn't withholding sex from me; we never had sex. How can he withhold something that we never experienced together? He turned around and headed straight into town leaving us behind him.

"What?" Delly questioned.

"Stop teasing them, you're embarrassing both of them," Bron berated her.

"Not funny anymore, Delly," I said as I ran after him. He was upset and I was mortified. Did Delly think that we're already having sex? "I wish," I muttered to myself.

When I caught to him I said, "I'm sorry." We both said to each other as I grabbed Peeta's hand and walked beside him. "You can cut your hair anyway you want."

"No, I'm sorry, Katniss," Peeta sulked. "Delly was out of line about…you know?"

"Oh, you mean the sex thing," I clarified. "Don't worry about it."

"It's just we're not…we're getting to know each other again and I'm not ready to…" he confessed. "We're not ready for that." I nodded my head to assure him even though I knew I was ready for the next level of our relationship. Heck, I've been ready for months. But Peeta isn't or can't just yet.

"I know, Peeta," I assured. "When you're ready, I'll be ready too." I explained to him as I wrapped my arm around his waist. He leaned over and kissed my forehead as he tightened his embrace.

"I don't know when I'll be ready," he said. "And we have too many things going on in our lives right now. We've never even had a date. I want to do this right, Katniss. I want to relearn you and me first. Is that all right? Or am I being too sappy or stupid …Geez I sound like a girl."

"No you're right," I said. "I've never gone on a date before."

"Really," he asked in surprised. "You and Gale never dated or something?"

"I didn't have time to date anyone," I explained. "Not even with Gale." I was new to everything especially dating. I wanted to do the right thing too.

"So if I ask you out one of these days, you'll say yes," he asked. He looked as if I'm going to reject him. My habit and pattern of rejecting still fresh in his mind.

"I would love to go out on a date with you, Peeta," I said as I took his hand from waist and placed my hand on top of his.

"Yeah," he whispered in my ear.

"Yeah," I returned as I placed a kiss on neck. Swoon, I wanted to swoon from joy. Is swoon really a word? My legs felt wobbly and weak from the knees. "So are you really going to cut your hair short?" He laughed to my annoyance and avoided my question.

By the time we reached the pet store all awkwardness was forgotten as Delly squealed at the pets introduced to her. "Oh my God, they're all so cute," she shrieked. "I want them all." Her joy and laughter was infectious. I could see why Bron loved her. But to my irritation the sales girls, yes the girls all hovered over Peeta. They kept finding opportunities to touch him on the arm, his shoulders and were blatant in their flirtation.

"Oh, Peeta, you're so handsome in person," a sale girls named Bree gushed as she stuck her chest at him pushing her chest on his arm. She was busty and small-waist with blond hair and green eyes. I wanted to scratch her eyes out and punch her in the chest. Another girl wanted his autograph on the small of her back so she can tattoo it permanently. I stood between her and Peeta daring her to approach him as she tried to hand a marking pen to my boyfriend. Peeta in turn, wrote his name on a piece of paper and handed it to her. That's as close as he's getting to touching anyone if I had my way.

Through it all, Peeta was cordial and polite to everyone. Even those that gave him dirty looks and yelled snide comments at him. I was prepared to knock someone's teeth out if I heard another comment of my man being called a traitor and a coward.

He wrapped his arm around me. "Don't listen to them, Katniss," he said. "They don't matter to me." However, I knew that the comments and remarks bothered him. I could see it in his eyes.

His eyes and mind remained focused in helping Delly chose a dog to take home. An hour later, a small chocolate Labrador retriever was tucked in Delly's arms as the rest of us lugged bags of supplies, food and accessories. I never knew a dog needed so much stuff.

"You do realize that we're definitely outnumbered," Bron whispered to Peeta as he watched his girlfriend and I fawn over the new addition to our family.

"That makes us pretty lucky," Peeta stated. "Another female to love."

"What are you going to name her," I asked.

"I don't know," Delly gushed.

During dinner at Haymitch's house he grumbled and complained over the new puppy. She whimpered and begged for food at our feet. "Oh, for crying out loud, a dog. Really?" he complained.

"I'm going to train her to help me protect Peeta," Bron said.

"That's a flimsy excuse. Just admit you wanted a dog," Haymitch scoffed at him.

"Peeta," Delly scolded him. "Stop feeding her human food. I don't want her to get used to that."

"But have you seen and smelled her food, it's disgusting," Peeta exclaimed. "Do you like Cheese Buns? I bet you love them. I'm going to make some for you." He was bent over rubbing her behind the ears. She too was enamored to him.

"Hey, you said you'll only make Cheese Buns for me," I asked, a scowl on my face.

"You have competition now for my Cheese Buns," he laughed as he threw a piece of meat at the puppy. I pouted my lips and folded across my chest. Ugh, maybe getting Peeta a dog is not a good idea if I'm also competing for My Cheese Buns.

"Eat your own food, Peeta," Delly continued. "You haven't eaten enough for today. I'm watching you." She pointed her two fingers at her eyes and at Peeta's.

"Sheesh, Delly," he whined. "Really glad you're not my girlfriend." He looked at me with a twinkle in his eyes. "I won the lottery."

As much as I enjoyed playful and flirty Peeta, I needed to declare my concern over his health. "She's right you know," I said. "You didn't finish the snack I made you this afternoon."

"Hey, you supposed to be on my side, not ganging up on me with Delly," he said in mock anger. "I guess I'll have to withhold sex this evening." He winked at me and gifted me with his pearly whites.

I blushed and pelted him with my napkin. "Peeta, we are not…" I gasped in embarrassment as he blocked my assault. He laughed; his laughter was music to my ears. It was a short-lived but welcomed sound.

"Manners, Peeta," Effie intoned. "Such conversation at the dinner table is vulgar."

"Don't know what you're complaining about, Effie," Haymitch returned. "You've seen and heard worse."

"Guess Peeta and I have to stock up on condoms," Bron added. At my expense, everyone with the exception of Effie laughed so hard they almost fell of their chairs. The only person missing to add to the humiliation was Johanna. Through it all, it was worth seeing Peeta happy and at ease.

"Well, I'm done," he announced as he picked up he puppy and head towards the living room. Delly and I noticed that his meal was half finished. We both shook our heads. An hour later, we're gathered together in the living room with Peeta on the floor playing with the dog with Delly besides him. They are both giggling as the puppy climbed all over him trying to lick him. Once the puppy's tongue made contact with Peeta's mouth he reacted in shock that he shoved her from his face causing her to whimper.

"Peeta, what's wrong?" Delly said as she gathered her dog in her arms.

"I'm sorry," he said in a guilty tone as he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "I didn't mean to push her like that." He reached over to let the puppy lick his hand as a way of an apology. "Sorry, puppy. You just startled me."

"What happened?" I asked.

"I don't know," he said. "I think I had a flashback or memory of something and I didn't like it when she licked me." He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand again. "I felt like I was being suffocated. I didn't hurt her, did I?"

"No, Peeta," Delly confirmed. "I think you just scared her." She handed her to him as he placed her in his arms. He kissed the top of her fuzzy head.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to push you," he apologized to the dog. She licked his hand in response putting Peeta at ease.

"She loves you, Peeta," Delly said. "All is forgiven. Right sweetie." She addressed the dog.

"You really need to name her," Haymitch announced. "She's going to get confused if you keep calling her puppy and sweetie."

"I was thinking of naming her Melody," she said. I shook my head as Bron burst into laughter. His raucous outburst startled Peeta and Effie.

"Bron, what's so funny?" Delly asked her boyfriend.

"Oh my god," he howled. "I'm living with two females named Delly and Mely. You are not calling her Melody. That's just to cruel."

"I'm getting tired," Peeta announced as he handed the puppy back to Delly. "See you guys tomorrow." He left as he patted the canine one last time before ascending the stairs. We watched him leave the room with his shoulders drooped and head down.

"Katniss, go," Delly instructed me. "Make sure he gets some rest. He's going to need it Tomorrow is going to be a difficult day for him." She had to remind me. I left the room ignoring Effie's disapproval.

"Shut up, Effie," Haymitch said to her. "Leave them alone."

As I opened the door to Peeta's bedroom, I found him staring out of the window, hands in his pockets. I walked towards him as I wrapped my arms around him from behind laying my head in between his shoulder blades. He was so thin I could clasp my hands together on top of his stomach. He placed his own on top of mine. A moment later he took a deep and cleansing breath. "No matter what happens tomorrow, Peeta," I said as my voice tore into the quiet night. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

* * *

Throughout the night, we took turns waking up to our own nightmares. I'd wake up gasping for breath then Peeta would take me in his arms to comfort me. In turn, he'd thrashed and whimpered in his sleep, a look of agony and torture etched on his face when I shook him to awareness. We're both a mess but we're at least we're a mess together. By morning, we're tired, our eyes are blood shot from lack of sleep and trembling from anxiety. Delly, Bron, Effie and Haymitch stood guard over us. Peeta managed to eat a bowl of cereal while I struggled to down eggs and toast.

"Oh my God, what happened to you both?" Johanna asked. She dressed in black with a large duffle bag over her shoulder. Peeta ran to her straight into her arms. I didn't have enough energy to be jealous as she rubbed his back in comfort.

"Johanna, you're home," Peeta croaked.

"Delly told me you're having a session today," she said as she looked into his eyes. "I had to be here for you."

"You didn't have to, but thank you," Peeta said as he hugged her one more time. We sat in the living room as Johanna settled herself on an armchair.

"When is your appointment?" she asked.

"After lunch at 2," Delly answered. I perched my self on Peeta's lap as he wrapped his arms around me. I was nervous and scared for him. He trembled beneath me.

"In the meantime, why don't you two go for a walk or something," she added. "Bron will shadow you. Get away from here for a while. I need to talk to Dr. Aurelius before the session."

"And I need to talk to Haymitch," Johanna said as she turned to him. Peeta was reluctant to leave the house but with enough persuasion we went with Bron trailing behind us. We ended up in the same spot we laid days before. In our meadow. I hovered over him, half straddling him as he wrapped his arms around me. My bow right beside me.

"You want to sleep a little?" I asked him as I drew circles on his chest underneath his shirt. His skin was smooth and firm beneath my fingers. My touch was more out of comfort than sexual. I didn't think Peeta noticed it.

"I can't," he admitted. "Too wired." I looked up and saw Bron a few yards away with a rifle in his hands. He walked the perimeter as we lay in the tall lush grass. He was talking into his ear microphone as he scanned the area.

"How are you feeling," I inquired.

"I'm anxious, nervous…and…" he struggled to speak. "I'm really scared…I don't know I if I want to know what happened to me."

"Wouldn't it be better to know than to not know what happened to you?" I said. I needed to know. He was abused, tied up and drugged. What happened in between the time he was taken to the time we found him? Not knowing was killing me. I grabbed his other hand and gripped it over his lean stomach. Our fingers interlocked.

"I guess," he sighed. "I need to ask you a favor." He sat up as I lay underneath him; his face hovered over mine. His blue orbs searched my eyes, nose and cheeks before it settled to my lips. "If I lose control and have an episode, please don't get involved. Don't put yourself in harms way. I don't' want you to be there for that."

"Peeta, I can't just stand by and do nothing if you're hurting yourself," I said in irritation. I knew his request was his need to protect me, especially from himself.

"And what if I lost control and hurt you again?" he whispered. "I relive the moment I almost killed you every day since I came home."

"And I dream of losing you everyday since you came back to 13," I admitted. "President Snow almost succeeded in tearing us apart. But, Peeta, we're still here and we're together." I placed a hand on his lean cheek. He leaned into my palm as he closed his eyes.

"Have faith in us, Peeta," I said. "As I have faith in you to never hurt me." He opened his eyes. Blue over grey as it looked down on my lips.

"Promise me, you won't place yourself in danger," he asked again. "I'll only be able to do this if I know that you're someplace safe away from me."

"Just promise me that if you need me," I said, "don't be afraid to ask. I want to help you through this. Don't keep me away from you."

"I don't ever want you to see me in a middle of an episode," he said. "It's not a pretty sight."

"If we're building a life together, I have to know and see all of you," I insisted. "The good and the bad."

"Okay," he agreed. "As long as you do the same, you need to let me take care of you."

"We take care of each other," I confirmed. I brushed his bangs from his eyes. He licked his lips as his breath skimmed my face. He placed a hand on my cheek as his thumb caressed my lips. He leaned over his elbow and lower arm right beside my ear.

"Katniss," he said his breathe soft and low.

"Yes, Peeta," I answered back shaky with need.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked. "Can I kiss you for real?"

"Yes, please," I whimpered back, anxiety and nervousness apparent in my voice. I've waited for this moment. He leaned down and placed a soft kiss on my forehead. Never leaving my skin his lips trailed down over my eyes to the tip of my nose. I kept my eyes closed anticipating the moment when he'll touch his lips to mine. From my nose his lips traveled to my cheek. When he finally brushed his lips over mine, it was gentle and soft like a feathery touch. I whimpered from loss when he ended the kiss. I realized that he was conscious of Bron's presence since he looked up in search for him.

Peeta placed his head between my neck and shoulder as he straddled his right leg over mine. He was trying to kill me. I wanted more; I missed the kisses he lavished upon me when we were in front of the cameras. They were heated with love and longing. I took them for granted. Each kiss I doled out to him was impersonal, planned and expected. Never a moment I initiated out of affection or desire.

"Thank you for letting Bron into your favorite place," he interrupted my thoughts. "I know how special this place is for you."

"I swore him to secrecy before we left," I said in return. "It's yours and my place. You're the only person I shared this place with."

* * *

We stayed at the meadow until lunchtime. Our time together was quiet and peaceful but we're anxious for what's ahead of us. We didn't sleep and spoke little. When we reached the Victor's Village, Johanna and Haymitch disappeared into town. Peeta clung to me through lunch; a hand on my arm, the small of my back. Touching me as if I'm going to disappear right before his eyes. He played with the puppy for a while before Bron took him for a walk. I could tell his anxiety level was escalating as he trembled and shook from where he sat between Delly and me. Delly kept glancing at his wristband. Bron returned with the puppy, but Peeta had no interest in entertaining her. I knew he was shutting down; his eyes were unfocused as he stared at the floor in front of him. Ten minutes before 2, Haymitch and Johanna appeared with Kara trailing behind them.

"What are you doing here?" I demanded an explanation for Kara's appearance.

"I'm here as Peeta's acting physician," Kara answered. "I need to be here to monitor him during this particular session. Dr. Aurelius requested it."

"She's here to help, Katniss," Delly added. "Just in case." I remembered Delly telling Haymitch and me that having several episodes within a short period of time would cause Peeta to have a heart attack.

"His heart was almost compromised with the frequency of the attacks during his abduction, he needs to be monitored," Kara confirmed. "But first I need to check whether he's physically prepared for the session. Is there some place we can go so I can examine him?" She carried a small doctor's bag with her.

Without any encouragement, Delly led Peeta to the dining room for some privacy. I hated that I couldn't be with him during the exam. Twenty minutes later, he walked out pressing a small bandage on his upper left arm.

"What did she do?" I inquired as Peeta sat down. He looked pale and woozy.

"She took some blood," he answered in a dull tone. Delly entered the room with Kara.

"What's the verdict, Dr. Templeton?" Haymitch asked.

"His heart rate is too fast," she said. "He's too pale and weak for the session. The fact that he didn't sleep well doesn't help. I told Dr. Aurelius that Peeta was not ready for the mental stress he will endure during the session. But, he insisted on it." She reached over and tugged at his wristband.

"When I went over the signals, the times when it went off, I had to make sure it wasn't because of it being tampered with," she explained. "I was concern to the frequency of his attacks that I had make sure they were actual episodes. He never had that many in a single day."

"Well, were they?" I asked.

"The locking mechanism which only Delly and I can open was compromised," she explained. "He did suffered several episodes, and someone tried to pry it off of him." I gasped in shock. "He's not mentally and physically strong enough yet. So I cancelled the session for a later date." Peeta's demeanor displayed relief.

"Why did you take my blood?" Peeta chimed in.

"If the lock was compromised, so might the wristband," Kara added. "I replaced the band with a new one when you were returned, but I personally wanted to check your blood for the venom level."

"Why didn't you mentioned it while he was still in the hospital?" Johanna asked.

"Listen, he's been through a lot," Kara said with a lot of patience. We're concerned with his well-being and I appreciated that Kara was as well. "He was traumatized, anxious and weak. I was more concern with the current physical trauma then being focus on his band. I wanted him to have some time before I brought up his wristband being an issue. I already took a sample before he went home and I'll compare it with the sample I took a few minutes ago."

"So what now since you postponed the session?" Peeta asked.

"For the next couple of days, you need to focus on your weight and find a way to relax for the next session," she advised. Easier said than done, I was a mess I couldn't imagined what's going through Peeta's mind. "There some breathing exercises that I can teach you. I can also teach you to do some mediating to ease your mind and help your body to relax."

"Can you teach me too," I inquired. Everyone looked at me with a mixture of amusement and surprise. "What? If Peeta's stressed, I'm stressed too." I asked not only because I could use them myself but more for a selfish reason. I'm not leaving Peeta alone with his doctor, not if I can help it. I trusted Peeta; I didn't trust her.

"Sure Katniss," Johanna snickered at me.

"I also recommend a massage," Kara added.

"No!" Peeta yelped startling me. "I don't want some stranger touching me." Okay, I agreed with him. My inner self was jumping up and down.

"Peeta, you're tense and agitated," she observed. "A nice long massage is both soothing and relaxing. You should try it before you say no." He shook his head and shuddered.

"I agree to everything but not that," he insisted. "I don't want anyone touching me. It's bad enough to know that I still have to go through this."

"Peeta, it's obvious that you've buried and hidden your memories," she soothed him. "But you need to face them. It's affecting you in a negative way. What if you have new triggers that you don't know about? I know you're scared. What do you need to put your mind at ease? What can we do to help you?"

Peeta was quiet for a moment or two thinking. "Can I make a request or suggestion for my next session?"

"Anything, Peeta. Anything to help you be prepared," Kara agreed.

"I want Bron, Haymitch and Johanna with me in the next session," he said as he looked at Johanna. "That's if Johanna agrees." I'm hurt and peeved that he didn't include me. I could tell Delly was hurt too. "And the session to be at Haymitch's."

"Agreed," Kara said. "So until then, relax and have some fun to keep your mind busy." Peeta looked far from relaxed. I noticed a look passed between her and Haymitch. Kara shook her head as if they had a private conversation between them. Then, she took Delly aside and spoke to her. "He needs to be relaxed and stress free; do what you can to help him." Delly nodded her head.

Kara left the house with one last touch on Peeta's arm. "You're doing great, Peeta," she complimented him. "I promise to take care of you as your physician and as you're friend." She smiled at him. Great, another female added to his list of admirers. She turned to me. "It goes without saying that I know that you'll take care of him, but please remember to take care of yourself too. I hate to think what he'll do if he lost you." She patted my arm and left.

I turned to face Peeta. He was deep in conversation with Delly and Johanna. I waited for them to finish since my next move was to take him back to Haymitch's and take a nap. Our time at the meadow was nice but it was tarnished with Bron's presence shadowing our every move. It was our private haven after all. The next time I take Peeta there, I intend to have a full blown, earth shattering make out session, complete with a picnic of course and without Bron as an audience.

"Just do it already," Delly advised him. "I guarantee you won't be disappointed." He hugged her and Johanna before turning to me.

"Thank you for coming back," he said. Johanna kissed his cheek in return.

"Good luck," she smirked and winked at him.

"Come on, Peeta," I demanded as I extended my hand to him. I'm tired, grumpy and want some private time with him. I'm grateful that they are his friends but I'm still selfish and possessive when it came to spending my time with Peeta.

"Where are we going?" he asked.

"We're going to take a nap before dinner," I answered as I pulled him after me and headed back to his temporary home. I didn't wait for any comments or smart remarks about my desire to be alone with him. Nor did I notice that both Bron and Haymitch were right behind our heels. Once upstairs in the privacy of his bedroom, he lay on his back and extended his arm out to me to join him. I placed my head on my spot on his chest. As I was about to doze off, his voice penetrated my unconscious state.

"Katniss?" he whispered.

"Hmm…" I answered back. I'm comfy and relaxed against him.

"Will you go out with me on a date tomorrow night?' he asked. I opened my eyes in awareness. Did he just…? I sat up and stared into his eyes. "Oh shit…is it too soon. Maybe I should have asked you after my session. Forget I said anything." He looked forlorn and horrified.

"Peeta," I said as I placed my hand on his chest over his heart. It was beating fast beneath his shirt. He looked nervous and adorable as he bit his lower lip.

"It was a stupid idea," he continued as he placed an arm over his eyes.

"No, I mean yes, I love to out with you tomorrow night," I cried out with a smile on face. I'm excited, nervous and happy at the same time.

"You will?" he said in awe as his blue eyes connected with mine.

"Of course. I've been waiting for you to ask me," I admitted as I placed my head back on his chest. Butterflies fluttered in stomach. I giggled and laughed to myself for Katniss Everdeen never got giddy like some love struck schoolgirl. But I am love struck and screaming inside for joy.

"Okay, I'll set everything up," he added. The smile on his face was infectious. "I'll pick you up at your house at seven." I could sense the joy in his voice.

"Okay," I gushed as I grabbed his hand into mine. Lying next to him like a pair of lovers, it's odd that we're about to have our first date; a real date with no cameras or pressure from the Capitol. This was real. Despite his stalking it's the first time in months I felt like a normal girl being out asked out by a boy she had a crush with. But the reality is that Peeta and I were never normal. And I can live with that since I know that once our date was over, I'd be sleeping right beside him.

* * *

**_AN: Thank you for taking the time to read this chapter. Have a great weekend. _**


	21. Chapter 21 - One Step Closer

Chapter 21 – One Step Closer…

_AN: Thank you to all my faithful reviewers. You don't know how wonderful you are or do you? Lol. I would like to take time to write back to each of you but work keeps me busy and I'm in the process of helping my brother renovate this new home. And I'm helping my other brother edit his new manuscript. Busy, busy. Thanks to those favored and alerted my story and me. Now, on with the show._

* * *

**Haymitch POV – **

_'Okay, what's going on?'_ my mind wondered. I enjoyed having dinner with my 'new family' even if that meant including Effie. We arranged family dinner every Sundays at Peeta's house and Thursdays at Delly's. However, since Peeta no longer had a home, Sunday dinners were now at Katniss', which meant dinner with Effie as the hostess. And how did Effie manage that? I don't know. So having dinner at Katniss' also meant dressing for the occasion as if we're in attending a Capitol dinner. It was froufrou and so like Effie to enforce her will. At least Peeta was polite enough not to commandeer my home for dinner. Unlike Ms. Trinket who took over Katniss' home.

In all the years I've known she still remained a mystery to me. She isn't a bad person just misguided with her Capitol manners and ways. Just because she's different, it didn't make her an enemy I had to remind myself. She has been a constant and comforting companion in the worse times of my life in my mentoring years. Though I would never admit that to her face. Even now without all that gaudy makeup she's quite a looker. Until she opened her mouth and her accent pierced my aural senses.

Over the extravagant floral arrangement sat Peeta and Katniss who were making goggling eyes with each other. Bron sat at one end of the table beside Delly with Effie at the other end with Johanna to my left. For dinner, Effie served braised lamb with sautéed vegetables after a light salad with greens I have never eaten in my life. I think Katniss said they were dandelions. Who knew you could eat a weed accompanied with some croutons and vinaigrette? I passed the soup since eating the weeds was enough for me. I'm a meat and potatoes guy. Throughout dinner a smile was affixed on Katniss' face. It disturbed me as she leaned over and whispered to Delly. Her cheerful countenance remained through the four-course meal Effie arranged. By dessert time, my curiosity was peaked and gnawed my mind.

"As usual, dinner is delicious, Effie," Katniss complimented as she finished off her dessert of chocolate mousse. I twisted my neck so I fast I was afraid that I strained a muscle. Her comment surprised me to no end. She sat so close to Peeta, which was no surprise but to watch her giggle and whisper to Johanna and Delly, now that perplexed me. Who was this girl in front of me? Where was the sulky and scowling teenager I've known since the games? I glanced at Peeta who appeared shell shocked and subdued. I'm going to find out what turn of events caused this personality shift. All three girls giggled, startling me from my musing. Even Johanna had a smile on her face. Johanna, the only girl I knew who slept with an axe or any sharp object that can be used as a weapon.

"All right, what have you three been up to?" I asked in exasperation.

"Excuse me?" Katniss wondered as her brow furrowed but smile remained. Ugh, all three stared back at me causing me to wince. Delly's eyes twinkled as Johanna smirked back at me. "What do you mean?"

"You're giggling and whispering like…" I muttered as words escaped me for a moment. "A girl."

"If you failed to notice, Haymitch, Katniss is a girl," Effie quipped. "What is your problem?"

"She's my problem," I added as I pointed to Katniss. To my frustration, all four women laughed as if I lost my mind.

"Leave her alone, Haymitch," Effie defended her. "You would think that you would recognize happiness if it slap you in the face." I'm shocked and surprised.

"What are you so happy about?" I inquired. Really, if Katniss was happy then I'm elated for her but why? I'm not being nosy but just curious. It looks good on her. As for Peeta, well, he's a different story. He gazed at her throughout dinner as if she going to disappear or believe that she's not real. He touched her a lot; a slight pat on her arm each time she placed food on his plate. Despite looking at her with googly eyes, he scowled at her as she replenished his plate with all four courses.

"I can't eat all that," he whined when he completed the main dish and was served a large portion of dessert.

"Eat," she commanded as she returned her scowl right back at him. He in turn caved and ate his food like a lovesick and obedient boyfriend. Boy, was he whipped. Kidding aside, it was nice to see that kind of interaction between them. Especially from Katniss, who had ignored or avoided any contact with Peeta after the first game. It still didn't explain her uncharacteristic girlish behavior unless…

"You two finally had sex," I pronounced and assumed as if it was a normal dinner conversation. "Well, it's about time, damnit. I thought poor Peet was going to die a virgin."

"Haymitch, manners!" Effie gasped in disgust. "That was vulgar." Johanna burst into a loud rolling laugh, while Delly smiled as her eyes twinkled in amusement. Bron stood and patted Peeta on the back.

"Atta boy, Peet," Bron applauded as he sat back on his chair. Katniss blushed bright red from neck to forehead. Peeta's mouth opened and closed in shock like he was gasping for air. He looked like a golden fish with his eyes wide and mouth opening and closing. His long locks covered his bright red ears. He really should cut his hair.

"What?" I exclaimed. "It's not like a big deal. I'm happy for you Peeta." I snickered at him hoping to rile Katniss. "She's a completely different person now. Look at her. She's actually likeable and pleasant." It worked.

"We didn't have sex," Katniss screamed at me, throwing her dinner napkin in my face. Her aim as usual was on target hitting right dead center. "Even if we did, it's none of your business."

"It's okay, Katniss," Peeta soothed her as he takes her hand. "He's just trying to upset you." He placed a tender kiss to her knuckles causing her to calm down. She was love struck too. They were adorable and disgusting at the same time. "We had the best nap this afternoon. No nightmares," he replied back.

"Right, a nap," I scoffed at him. Soon after they entered my home, Bron and I headed towards his home to guarantee them a bit of privacy. "Seems like you did more than take a nap if she's looking and acting like that."

"You're an asshole," Katniss sneered as she gritted her teeth.

"Katniss, please," Effie begged. "Don't pay attention to him."

"He's just jealous," Johanna interjected. "It's probably been decades since he got laid." Everyone laughed at my expense even Effie, but it was worth it watching Peeta and Katniss together as they were fated to be. I had to control my impulse to stare at her as she continued to give moon-eyed glances at him. Yuck!

After dinner the girls disappeared into the living room dragging Katniss by the arms much to my relief. "We have to go shopping tomorrow," Delly gushed. "You need a new dress and maybe get a hair cut. We can have a 'Spa day."

"Oh my, girls," Effie interjected. "You leave that up to me. Tomorrow bright and early we…" Their voices faded into the background along with their chitchat.

Us men, we left to drink and passed time in my viewing room. I made sure to not turn the monitor on just in case Gale appeared on screen. I learned my lesson the first time. With a glass of scotch on one hand I addressed Peeta. "So, Peeta want to tell me what the fuss is all about? What's up with your girlfriend acting all girly and soft?"

He looked at Bron and me. "I asked Katniss out on a date," he explained, as he turned pink, blushing to his ears again. "And she said yes." He smiled, a shy smile. "I didn't think she would," he added with surprise and awe. I still don't get what he saw in her.

"Of course, she said yes," I scoffed. After all this time, did he really think that Katniss would reject him? I eyed him with concern. It seemed after years of avoidance and rejection, Peeta still was unsure of Katniss' feelings for him. A part of him that his hijacked mind would sometimes questioned the validity and sincerity of her intentions.

"I just don't know if I asked too soon or if…" his voice grew small.

"What, Peeta?" I inquired. He looked pale of all a sudden.

"What if she changed her mind and…" he returned. His gaze was unfocused as he stared at the floor in front of him. "What if I mess up?"

"You won't," Bron interrupted. "She's been waiting for you to ask her for some time."

"She has," Peeta asked in wonder as he looked up to face him.

"Yeah, Delly said that she can tell that Katniss has been anxious for you to ask her," he concluded. "You got this, Peet. You finally got the girl." He High-fived Peeta, who didn't understand what the gesture meant. So Bron took his and slapped their hands together.

"I've been waiting for this all my life," he admitted. "I just don't want to mess up. What if she finds out she doesn't really want me after all?" His confidence and self worth was beaten and abused during his days at the Capitol. This young man was not the Peeta I knew that fought for what he wanted. He fought for love even if it meant rejection from the girl of his dreams. He loved her with a devotion unlike I've ever seen or known. He was willing to die for her, twice.

"Peeta, you're going to be okay," I assured him. "Just be yourself and you'll be fine."

"But that's the problem," he confessed. "I'm not sure who I am anymore. What if she doesn't want me, this version of me that survived the Capitol and the rebellion. What if she needs the Peeta that she knew? What if she only feels sorry for me?"

"Peeta, you're still you inside," I said. If there was on thing I was certain of, it was that deep inside he is the same boy I met. Losing his leg, the hijacking and the torture he endured only solidified what I already knew. Snow couldn't kill his spirit or his soul. He just needed time and care with people who will remind that he is worth it and that he is loved. I wish I had this kind of support after my first season. Maybe I would have ended up being a different person who didn't rely on alcohol to bandaged my tortured soul. "You wouldn't be asking and questioning yourself. You're still the Peeta I remembered before the games. The Capitol didn't erase that away. You've grown up and lived through a lot. You have age and experience behind you. Snow didn't win, Peeta. You deserve this."

I let Peeta mull it over when a loud giggling sound echoed in the living room. It was Katniss screeching with joy. "She sounds really happy," Peeta observed, his voice wistful. Her laughter along with the rest of the girls echoed in the air.

"You hear that? You did that," I confirmed. "No one can light her up the way you can. Just be happy together."

Peeta shook his head. "I need to go to town tomorrow." He rubbed the back of his neck. "My hair is getting too long and there are a couple of errands I need to do before my date."

"Let me know what time," Bron said. "Remember you can't go anywhere without me."

"How is that going to work with my date with Katniss?" Peeta asked.

"Oh, didn't Delly tell you?" Bron returned. "We're double dating tomorrow evening. So it won't look suspicious with Delly and I hanging about."

"That's not how I envisioned my first date with Katniss," Peeta snorted.

"Take it or leave it, Peeta," he added.

"I don't know if Katniss will like this," Peeta said.

"I don't think Bron and Delly doubling dating will stop Katniss from going out with you tomorrow. I promise she won't care," I assured him as I raised a glass to salute him. "This is for you, Peeta. You are one lucky son of a bitch. You're a better man than I will ever be. The strongest and bravest person I have ever met. Not just for surviving but for daring to date Katniss Everdeen. You don't' need good luck for the odds are definitely in your favor, boy." Bron and I tipped our glass to him. He winced but smiled back at my salutation.

An hour later, the women appeared. "Peeta, you ready to go home?" Katniss said as she extended her hand to him. She was cheerful as light filled her eyes with joy.

"Yeah, good night everyone," he said as he took her hand and Katniss led him out the house. It amused me to watch her pull him by the hand like a woman possessed. Delly sighed at the sight of them leaving as Johann smirked back.

"Don't you think its kind of odd that they're on their way home to sleep together when they're about to have their first date tomorrow night?" Johanna guffawed. "Love is weird."

* * *

It's four in the morning and I can't sleep. Two hours earlier I first had awoken to a sound from upstairs. It was subtle but evident that one of them was having a bad night. It was Peeta. I heard Katniss comforting him, her voice soft and soothing. Then, a loud thump and frightening scream pierced the air. It sounded like a wounded animal. I rushed up the stairs two at time and I opened Peeta's bedroom door. He was huddled in a corner, facing the corner with his hands over his head. He must have crawled his way to the corner since his prosthetic leg was leaning against a nightstand. Katniss was at the edge of the bed with tears streaming down her cheeks; her hair was mess and her eyes bloodshot.

"Peeta," she whimpered as she knelt on the bed with a hand to her mouth to stifle her sobs.

"Are you okay?" I asked her as I searched for any injury. "Did he hurt you?"

"I'm fine, Haymitch," she sneered. "It's Peeta you should be concerned about. Does it look he hurt me?"

"Don't touch me, don't touch me," Peeta repeated at the corner. "Don't hurt me anymore." He continued to wail to himself unaware of our presence.

"I can't get him to stop," Katniss cried. "He's been having nightmares all night. I don't know what to do." She was panicked and felt helpless. They were a pitiful sight in contrast after seeing them hours before. It was heartbreaking. Peeta jumped as Effie, Bron, Delly and Johanna showed up in the room. Like a good soldier, Bron showed up with a gun in his hand. Johanna equipped with her trusty axe.

"What's going on?" Delly asked as he stared at Peeta. "Peeta?" She approached him only to have him fold into a ball hugging his knees tight.

"You're not real," Peeta said as he blinked a few times at Delly. He turned to Johanna. "I am 12, I am no one. No one needs me." Katniss sobbed with uncontrolled tears.

"Oh, shit," Johanna swore. "It was what the tormentors had us repeat when they were beating us. He thinks we're in the Capitol."

"What happened?" Delly asked. "He hasn't had this kind of breakdown in months. Unless he was triggered by something or someone."

She stepped forward but stopped when Peeta screeched, "Stay away from me."

"What did you say to him?" Johanna accused Katniss. She reacted in puzzlement then anger.

"I didn't say anything. He was already acting odd when we got home," Katniss sobbed. "I didn't cause this. I asked him if something was wrong and he said he was fine. We were fine."

"Well, he wasn't obviously fine," Johanna seethed.

"It's no one's fault," Delly interrupted. "I think after his last ordeal, something or someone has triggered Peeta in some way. He's been moody, snapping at people and fidgeting. It's unlike him. I suspected something was off about him since he came back."

"He's not getting better," Katniss said. "I want him to get better. We need to help him." I walked over to Peeta to comfort him when he unfurled himself and pushed me away.

"You stay away from me," he yelled. "You don't care about me. You only cared about her." He pointed into the air. "I'm nothing to you so don't pretend you care." I shocked and pained from his rant. "You didn't come for me. You left me to suffer and die. You left me and Johanna to die while you played mentor for your Mockingjay." He spat at me. I couldn't argue back because it was true. I left him and Johanna at the Capitol. The rebellion and keeping Katniss alive were all that mattered at the time. Peeta and Johanna was a casualty I was willing to sacrifice for the sake of Panem's future.

"Peeta, Haymitch is our friend, remember?" Johanna interjected; sorrow filled her eyes. "He's been taking care of us since we came home to 12." She grabbed him and wrapped her strong arms around him. "Shh, we're home, Peeta. We're home," she repeated several times.

"What if they're dead?" he panicked, his eyes wide were filled with terror.

"Who, Peeta," Johanna asked.

"Finnick and Katniss," he returned. "Snow wants all of us dead. I couldn't keep her safe."

"If they're together, Finnick will take care of her," she comforted. "He will, Peeta. I promise you that he will."

"We're all alone," Peeta continued. "They won't come for us. Haymitch abandoned you," Peeta cried. "I know that I'm not important but he left you too. How can he do that?

"He had no choice," she explained as she rubbed his back. "And what about Katniss, are you mad at her too. She left us too." Katniss' face turned white as a sheet. I guess Johanna still held some form or resentment and bitterness for being an afterthought to the rebellion. It was because of Katniss they were rescued. Other than that, we were willing to sacrifice their lives for the rebellion.

"No, never," he said. "He's using her. He doesn't care about her. He just wants her to be their Mockingjay." He said in a sad tone. It was true. The years of waiting for the rebellion took a toll on me. I was tired and weary. I used and manipulated anyone to end Snow's tyranny, even if it meant using two young kids from 12 to ignite a war. I did care for them but for my own selfish reasons. "We need to get out of here to help her. We need to escape." He's panicked, anxious and lost in his delusion as he tried to free himself from her grasp.

"Peeta," she shouted as she cupped his face with her hands. "Look at me." He stopped struggling. "You trust me, right?" He nodded without any hesitation. "You know that I would never lie to you? You trust me?"

"Always," he reminded her. "I trust you with my life. If anything happens, we die together." Their interaction gutted me. They only had each other back then and they were prepared to die. Everyone around them cried in sorrow and pain.

"I want you to look behind me," she instructed as she turned her head. "What do you see?"

He squinted his eyes as if he's trying to focus. "Delly, Haymitch, Effie and a Peacekeeper." Bron gasped in shock, a pained look in his face.

"And what about over there?" she pointed to Katniss who stood up to confront us.

"Katniss," he sighed with sadness and longing his blue orbs. "But they're not real. The Capitol wants us to believe they're real."

"I'm real, Peeta," Katniss spoke as she wiped tears from her face and smiled at him.

"You're so beautiful," he said with such longing "Even in my dreams you're always so beautiful."

"His thoughts and his memories of Katniss were the only thing that kept him alive," Effie observed. "It's no wonder that he's alive today."

"She is real, Peeta. Just reach over and touch her," Johanna added. "We're home, Peeta. Wake up from wherever you are and you'll find Katniss waiting for you." He took a tentative step towards her. He looked around and focused his eyes on everyone including Bron. Then refocused on Katniss, reaching for her. Katniss without any hesitation grabbed his hand.

"I'm real, Peeta," she said as she grabbed hold of him and wrapped her arms around his lean waist. He struggled against her for a moment then calmed. They sought comfort from each other for a few minutes as we stood watch. He pulled himself from her grasp, cupped her face for a few seconds then collapsed in her arms. "Peeta!" With quick reflexes, Johanna helped Katniss lay him on the bed.

"Just give him a moment, Katniss," Delly said as she reached over and placed her hand on his forehead. "He's a little warm but otherwise okay." She touched his wristband and looked at the display.

"What happened?" Katniss asked as she took his hand and placed it over her heart.

"He entered a dissociative state after a nightmare," Johanna explained. "It happened a lot after he was returned from the Capitol. You've seen one a few months ago." I knew that he still suffered from his trauma, but with his new relationship with Katniss I had hope that he was slowly recovering; that his experiences were being replaced with new and happy ones. "I think Delly's right, he has new triggers; something that happened to him during his abduction." The realization and revelation left me angry and helpless. I needed to find this bastard soon and fast. My eyes looked over to Johanna who nodded her head in understanding.

Peeta lurched into awareness. "Katniss!" he yelped. "Where's Katniss?" He reached out his arms to find her.

"I'm right here, Peeta," she said as she hugged him. "You're just dreaming, Peeta. I'm here with you, see?" He looked at her placing his hands on her face. Then, his eyes grew wide when he saw all of us in his room.

"I'm sorry if I worried all of you," he lamented. "I'm sorry, Katniss." He laid his head on her shoulder. "I'm sorry I keep waking you up with my bad dreams."

"I have them too," she said as she pushed him to lie down next to her. He spread himself half on top of her seeking comfort. I blushed at the intimacy of their embrace as he laid his head on her shoulder and grasped her waist. "You always take care of me when I have my nightmares. Let me take care of you." Peeta took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"Sorry for waking everyone," Katniss apologized to everyone. It wasn't necessary.

"No need to apologize," Delly said. "We're just glad that he's okay. You take good care of him." She walked straight into her boyfriend's arms. "We'll leave you two alone." She left with Bron's arms wrapped around her waist. Johanna was about to leave the room when Peeta called out to her.

"Johanna," he croaked, his voice shaky as he sat up. She walked over and placed a kiss on his forehead as Peeta grabbed her hand. "Thank you, Jo," he said with tears in his eyes and lay back down. She glanced at Katniss with stern look in her eyes.

"Don't cancel your date. Either of you," she demanded as she walked out of the room. Tears trailed down her cheeks.

"Come on Haymitch. It's time for all of us to return to our own bed," Effie announced as she shoved me out of the room.

"Good night, Peeta. Katniss," I said as she shut the door behind us. "I didn't think you approved of them sleeping together." I trailed behind Effie as we descended the stairs.

"I can't deny them their time of need and comfort for each other," she admitted. "Besides, Katniss would rip my head off if I tried to separate her from Peeta." That was a fact that would not be challenged by any of us.

* * *

The next morning, I'm bleary eyed as pain shot through my body stemming from my neck. Having slept the rest of the morning on my armchair wasn't a bright idea as sunlight blinded my vision. "Oh, hell." I croaked.

"Haymitch, are you all right?" a voice sounded in my ears. It was Peeta; elbow deep in flour and dough sticking all over his fingers.

"What are you doing up so early?" I said as I squinted at my clock. It was 5:30 am. Shit, didn't he ever sleep? I closed my eyes for a moment.

"I couldn't sleep anymore so I decided to make some bread this morning," he announced as he shrugged his shoulders. "I'm making Katniss' favorite, Cheese Buns." I opened one eye at his announcement. _'Katniss is not the only one that loves his Cheese Buns'_ I cackled to myself.

"Is Katniss still sleeping?" I asked. Peeta nodded his head. He was quiet and shy with me. "How are you feeling?" I inquired and then winced as I realized how stupid I was to ask him.

"Tired, I guess," he said as he played with the dough stuck on his fingers. "I'm sorry, Haymitch." I reeled from his apology. Why was he apologizing? "I remembered what I said you to this morning." Oh, that.

"Don't Peeta," I said with enough strength I could muster in the early morning. "It's all right." Because it was all right. He voiced what I couldn't admit to myself. There was truth to his accusations. "No need to rehash it, we move forward, Peeta. We need time to forgive ourselves as well." I needed to forgive myself.

"Okay," he accepted.

"Are you sure you're ready for your date with Katniss this evening?" I asked. "Maybe you should postpone it?"

"Why" Peeta asked.

"You're too tense and agitated right now. Why don't you wait until after your session," I said. "Get that out of the way so you can fully enjoy your date with her."

"I don't want to disappoint Katniss by cancelling it," he said. "She so happy right now, I don't want to spoil it. Besides, Johanna will strangle me." He smirked. "I've waited for so long for this. I want to take her out on a date. In case something happens to me after my sessions with Dr. Aurelius, I want to have one good, carefree night with her. I may never have another chance."

"Don't talk like that Peeta," I scolded him. "Nothing bad is going to happen to you."

"I'm just being realistic, Haymitch," he confessed. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I feel like I'm losing myself, like something really bad happened and my mind shut it out. What if I finally lose it and never recover?"

"You won't Peeta," I assured him. "And do you know why I know you won't? Because you've suffered through the worse thing that happened to any human being and you survived it. What you experienced and lived through, it's a miracle, Peeta. You beat it."

"I'm not sure I have," he said. "I feel like I'm slipping."

"And we all will be here to catch you," I said. "Never forget that we're here to support you. That we are here waiting for you. You are not alone anymore. Katniss will be waiting for you. Do this for her if not for you."

"I don't want to do this," Peeta said. "I'm afraid of what I'll remember during the session."

"You have to find out, Peet," I advised. "You don't want to feel like that forever." I didn't want to reveal what Delly told us last night; that he may have a new trigger. "Not knowing will drive you out of your mind. I promise you, that we will take care of you. Just be strong to come back to us, to Katniss." I knew that if there was one thing that he couldn't deny, it was that he would do anything for her. To face his fears and beat it. For Katniss. Without her, he would have died a long time ago.

"I need you to promise something, Haymitch," he said, his eyes bored into mine. I hated when he did that. Every time he made me make a promise, something bad happened. "You swear to me that you will take care and watch over Katniss if something goes wrong with my session. Even if it meant ending my life to protect everyone from me."

"You're going to be fine," I uttered. My gut and mind ached at the possibility of something going wrong. Fear and anger lodged at the pit of my stomach.

"Swear to me and don't lie this time. Swear to me, Haymitch," he demanded. "I know for a fact that you'll protect her, but if I'm not me anymore and become a mutt version of myself, you swear that you will not let me live like that."

"I'm not going to kill you, Peeta," I sneered at him. "Katniss will never forgive me." My words choked me. How could he ask that of me?

"Promise me," he demanded. "Swear to me, Haymitch. Swear that you'll end my misery if I'm not me anymore. I never want her to see that side of me again. I remember her disgust and her hate."

"She didn't hate you," I admonished him. "She thought she lost you forever. She lost herself when you came back altered."

"And if I become that person again, you will make sure that I never hurt her again," Peeta stated. "If I'm lost forever, I can't live like that, like some animal whose dignity and choice was taken from him. You will end me."

"I can't, I won't," I continued. I started hyperventilate. My hands shook with anger and frustration.

"Don't panic, Haymitch," he said in a calm manner. "I know that when the time comes, you'll make the right decision for me and for Katniss." A ding sound startled the both of us. "That's my timer, I need to put the Cheese Buns in the oven." He turned to exit the room. "I'm thinking of making some cinnamon rolls too."

"Peeta?" I called out to him.

"It's going to be a perfect day," he said with a smile on his face. "I'm going on a date with the girl of my dreams." He turned and walked away. Delly was right, his mood swings were erratic and frightening. I'm shocked by his behavior. I shook my head to clear my mind. At least for today, I'll ensure that his date with Katniss will run smoothly and problem free. They both deserve it.

* * *

**Katniss POV – **

I woke up aching and heavy from lack of sleep as I reached over for Peeta. My hand landed at the empty and cold space besides me. I looked around in panic as I found a note stuck on his pillow, _'Went to town with Bron. See you later. Peeta. PS, I made you breakfast. Hope you enjoy.' _I rushed out of bed and ran downstairs to Haymitch's kitchen. Two platters of cheese buns were set in the center of the table; another plate of cinnamons next to it. Near the plates lay another note, _'Thank you for agreeing to go out with me this evening. I look forward to our date tonight. Peeta'_ it read.

My chest burst with joy and elation when a voice startled me. "It's about time you got up," Haymitch sputtered as he entered the room. "Peeta wouldn't let me have one until you did. He's evil that boyfriend of yours." I smiled so wide as Haymitch called him my boyfriend. "Get one already so I can eat."

"I need to wash my hands first," I teased as I left the room. Hands washed and tea brewing, I grabbed the top Cheese Bun and took a bite. It's still warm and gooey inside as the cheese melted in my mouth. "Hmm," I sighed. Haymitch snatched the next bun and followed suit. As I was about to reach over to pick up another piece, Delly, Johanna and Effie barged into Haymitch's home.

"I knew it," Delly squealed. "Peeta baked his Cheese Buns. And he made cinnamon rolls too. I could smell it all the way over my house." She and Johanna reached over and took a bite. Effie with her doe like way picked up a bun, sniffed then took a tiny bit. Her eyes grew wide.

"This is simply marvelous," she commented as she bit off a piece. "Delly and Johanna kept going on and on about these, but I never knew how delicious they were."

"I bet the cinnamon rolls are awesome," Haymitch added. "I'll eat those later."

"I've only eaten this," Johanna gestured towards the buns. "I can't wait to sample of rest of his recipes. He's an awesome baker for someone so young. I'm really glad that he gets to continue his craft for all of District 12 to experience."

"That's why Peeta should open up his family's bakery," Delly said. "Peeta wants to share it with those he loves." She winked at me.

"Where are Bron and Peeta, by the way?" Johanna asked with a mouth full of Cheese Buns.

"Manners, Mason," Effie scolded her. "You may live out here away from civilized life, but etiquette and manners must be maintained in a thriving society. Without it we would flounder back to the Dark Ages."

"Effie," Haymitch tuned in. "Shut up."

"Well I never," Effie responded in shock.

"Anyway, Bron picked up Peeta this morning," Haymitch continued. "Peeta said that he had several things to do before the date."

"Once you finished eating, Katniss, we should be going soon," Delly suggested. "I know this little store that has the perfect dress for you that Peeta would just die for."

"And I made an appointment with your beauty salon," Effie added. "You both need a lot of work." She eyed Delly and me as she raised our hands for her inspection. "When was the last time you both had a manicure? You're a mess too."

"Why does Delly need to go?" I asked ignoring Effie's insult.

"Oh, didn't I tell you?" Delly said. "We're double dating this evening. It's the only way Bron can shadow you and Peeta without looking suspicious. We are going to have so much fun."

I pouted and folded my arms across my chest. I had hope that Peeta and I would have a night by ourselves without anyone keeping us company. But then, if it were to ensure Peeta's safety, I would accept the security measure. We can both relax without having to look over our shoulders every minute of our date. "That's doesn't sound fair for you and Bron, Delly. I want you to have a good time too."

"I've been in tons of dates with Bron," she assured me. "I'll gladly tag along to make sure you and Peeta has a perfect night." I almost stumbled and broke down into tears. "You both need this. Besides, what Peeta had in mind for your first date, I wouldn't want to miss it. You're going to have the best night of your life." The more Delly talked about it, the more excited I got. The more excited I got, the more nervous I got. It was a vicious cycle. I didn't want to mess up. I wanted our first date to be perfect.

An hour later as I'm prepared to leave with Delly and Effie, Haymitch and Johanna appeared at my door. "Can we talk to you before you go into town?" he asked. With a tentative step they both entered and situated themselves in my living room. I noticed that Johanna was carrying a small metallic case.

"I don't know how to say this without being indelicate as Effie would say," he said. "So I'll just say it. I've decided that all of us have to take extra measures to ensure our own safety as well as Peeta. That's why sent Johanna to meet with Beetee in 13 for a reason." As he spoke Johanna opened the metallic box revealing a few items, several small capsules and an injector."

"I told Haymitch that everyone should be given a choice to pick which option that is best for them," Johanna added. "What we decided was to equip everyone with a GPS devise that will either be injected on your person or wear an accessory that must be worn at all times.

"The injection is something that Katniss, Johanna and I are very familiar with," he said. I remembered the feeling of the injection that was inserted on to my forearm without my consent for the games. I felt violated and angry at the Capitol for taking liberties with my life. "You have a choice to wear an accessory or have it inserted in your forearm."

"Will it hurt?' Delly asked.

"It will sting for a couples of minutes," Haymitch admitted. "The sensation wears off as soon as your body adjusts to the foreign object. In time, you won't notice that it's there." I rubbed the scar still apparent on my forearm. Johanna watched me with an apologetic look on her face. I smiled back to assure that all was forgiven. Her removing it was a necessary measure that ensured me from being captured by the Capitol. Peeta was not so lucky.

"Or I can give you these…" he said as he picked up a necklace with a one inch medallion. "I had Beetee create a copy of Bron's Military tag in place of a real one. This is for you, Delly." He handed the necklace to her. The chain and medallion were stainless steel with a yellow Delilah flower underneath a clear enameled shell.

"It's beautiful," Delly complimented. "There's a GPS chip inside?"

"Yes, on the back," Haymitch acknowledge. "If the idea of injecting a foreign object is horrifying to you, I had him design these; something innocuous that wouldn't be obvious to anyone. Johanna has been wearing hers since she arrived back at 12." She lifted her necklace to reveal a medallion with a Sunflower. Haymitch was keeping in mind the cake that Peeta had designed at his competition. The three layered cake that was designed for us.

"Katniss, I had Beetee create this for you," he lifted a necklace off the box with a design of a primrose. I almost broke down and cried. "As for Effie, well I hope that you wouldn't mind if you wore this."

"For me?" she said in shock. The necklace had a golden Dove. "I think that Katniss would agree with me that if it wasn't for you, she wouldn't have been able to handle the propos without you. You're presence in 13 was critical to the war as you still are important to us. You were her strength and support when she needed it." I nodded my head in agreement. Haymitch may have been my voice of reason, Prim my safe harbor and Peeta my motivation. Effie provided me strength to carry my role as the MockingJay. "Thank you, Haymitch," she said. "I don't know what to say." She wiped a tear from her cheek.

"Effie, speechless? That's a first," Johanna teased.

"So keep in mind, please wear this at all times, if you refused to be injected," Haymitch demanded. "I have also implemented other security measures that we will discuss when we are all together."

"What about you? What is your GPS?" I asked. He didn't appear to wear a tag or necklace. He pulled on his shirtsleeve to reveal a small scar on his forearm.

"I refuse to wear jewelry so I had Johanna inject mine into my arm," he answered. "These can be deactivated once we catch Peeta's stalker."

"Haymitch, I know that these are necessary," Effie stated. "Why isn't the local law enforcement involved to protect Peeta?"

"I don't trust anyone," he answered. I wouldn't trust Peeta's safety to anyone either.

"Surely, the more people to help you, the sooner you can catch him," she insisted.

"The Local enforcement here is run by a former Peacekeeper," Haymitch said in disgust. "Do you honestly think that he cares about Peeta and any of us; former tributes and Victors who were involved in the rebellion? Paylor may have pardoned them in return for granting them their freedom without retaliation. But I don't think that years of ingrained values and ideals can be forgotten or ignored. There are still a lot of resentment or hatred for upturning their lives and their way of life." Paylor believed in giving people a second chance. That doesn't mean that I would trust a stranger to make Peeta a priority. He is still labeled a traitor and a cowards on both sides.

"What about the Guardsmen?" she questioned. "Bron is a Guardsmen."

"I trust him only because he is Delly's boyfriend," he confessed. "Besides do you remember who is the head of the Guardsmen?" he asked and answered his own question. "Gale Hawthorne. No, we are better off dealing with this on our own with people we trust impeccably. I only trust everyone here with my life and Peeta's life. Outside of 12, I trusted Beetee and few Victors left. Everyone is suspect."

"That's a rather paranoid way of thinking, Haymitch," Effie said.

"I rather be safe then sorry," he said. "I'm not going to gamble Peeta's life and place him into other people's hands. I lost him twice before and it's not going to happen again." I felt his sorrow and regret for the decisions he made, and the promise he broke to protect Peeta while I broke my own by leaving him with Beetee. Our decisions resulted with Peeta coming back broken, damaged and weary of our intentions. We both had a lot to make up for.

However, my sins weighed heavily than Haymitch. With a light heart, I'm determined to see Peeta through his ordeal; the stalking, his nightmares and his weary heart. I knew what is it was like to live without him. I envisioned a lonely and self-destructive future filled with resentment, fear and bitterness. I would forever push people away and lived a life of solitude, an empty life without friendship, family and love. In essence, I would live without Peeta and the people who I cherish. I can't live like that, I won't.

"May I?" Haymitch asked as he appeared before me with the necklace in his hands. I turned around and let me fastened it behind my neck. It felt cool and light against my skin. I watched as Johanna fastened Delly's necklace on to her while Haymitch proceeded to Effie's when she shrieked from his advance.

"Stop," she shouted as she raised a hand to ward him off. She looked frightened, appalled and horrified.

"What?" Haymitch sneered. He looked embarrassed and defensive.

"You can't," Effie shouted. "It's inappropriate."

"For crying out loud," he whined. "I was only going to put this on you."

"And you would be making a big and irreversible faux pas," she corrected him. "Capitol tradition would dictate that if you did that, you would be binding yourself to me."

"What do you mean by 'binding'?" I asked.

"Oh hell," Johanna cackled. "What Effie is trying to explain is that by Haymitch fastening the necklace to her, he would basically be asking her to marry him by Capitol tradition. You almost accidentally got engaged."

"I can't believe you, Abernathy," Effie groaned. "You've lived in the Capitol long enough to be acquainted with the traditions and ceremonies."

"Effie, don't be an idiot," Haymitch bellowed as his eyes grew wide. "It only works if I was a Capitol citizen."

"But I am. Hand that over," Effie commanded as he dropped into her hands as if she burned him. She walked over to a mirror and fastened it onto herself. "That tradition is important to me. Of course, you wouldn't think that it as important to me."

"Oh, you mean like our toasting in District 12," Delly commented as she grasped the meaning of the necklace fastening.

"Yes, all Districts have some sort of private wedding ceremony besides signing a marriage contract," Johanna added.

"But does that mean Haymitch is engaged to Katniss?" Delly screamed. I gasped in shock and horror.

"No, not quite" Effie stated. "It's a Capitol tradition. It's exclusive to the citizens like the other Districts." I looked at her in puzzlement. "I would wear the necklace for months during our engagement. Then I would place a necklace around his neck in the wedding ceremony. Thus sealing and finalizing the marriage ritual."

"Haymitch isn't from the Capitol," I mumbled. "And neither am I, thank God."

"Hey, I'm a great catch," Haymitch balked at my insult.

I hated to think that I got engaged accidently. Though one fake engagement was bad enough, if I ever got engaged I wanted it to be real. Like Peeta wanted all those months ago. Peeta and I never took that engagement seriously.

"It works the same between districts," Johanna added. "If I got engaged to someone here in 12. I would do a toasting as well as my own District 7 tradition to finalize a private marriage ceremony."

"Oh, so if I married Bron. I would do the necklace fastening ceremony with him and he would have to do a toasting for mine," Delly wondered. "It's a dual ceremony to complete both traditions."

"Exactly," she confirmed. Johanna narrowed her eyes to Delly. "Is there something you want tell us, Delly?"

"Oh, no," she said as she turned a faint pink. "I was just wondering if you know…if Bron and I got married. I was only talking to myself really." She sighed. Poor Delly, I wondered if she wanted to marry Bron. It seemed like a foregone conclusion to me that she would. They loved each other. They were so perfect with each other.

"So swapping the necklace is a Capitol tradition. What is District 7's tradition?" I inquired. Johanna's eyes wandered to Delly but before I can get an answer Effie interrupted us.

"We're burning daylight and so many things to do, ladies," Effie clapped her hands together with a gleam in her eyes.

"Have fun, ladies," Johanna cackled as she shoved Delly and me out of my own home.

"What are you going to do while we're in town?" Delly asked her eyes gleamed. She was so excited. I never had a day of shopping or a spa day with 'the girls' before. I didn't have the heart to tell her what's in store for us with Effie commandeering our day.

"I'm going to sleep all day," she added as she walked over to the house she shared with Delly and Bron. "Then this evening I'll have the house all to myself for some peace and quiet." It sounded like a great plan.

"Me too," Haymitch reiterated. "Sleeping all day sounds like a great idea." He continued to walk to his own home.

I sighed as I walked along side Delly and Effie as we approached the town. I don't know what she has planned for us but I knew that Delly and I were in trouble. A day with Effie meant a day of _'ouch and holy shit that hurts'_ kind of day. I really hope that Peeta appreciated what I'm putting myself through for our perfect date. He's so worth it.

* * *

**_AN: Sorry to have left it there, but if posted the rest, it would be have been too lengthy for one sitting. I learned my lesson the first time. Thank you for reading this chapter and for hanging on. It's a great pleasure writing this story. Have a great week._**


	22. Chapter 22 - Walk Besides Me As

Chapter 22 - Walk Beside Me As…

_AN: My warmest thanks to the following: everlasting1286, kamjam, Trude, LACR, YouGotAFan and guest. Your comments and reviews meant a lot to me. Much appreciation to those who favored and alerted my story. Rewind and repeat: Suzanne Collins owns Hungry Games. I just hijacked Peeta and company for a while. :)_

* * *

"Just sign here and here," Thom instructed as he pointed to X's on several sheet of papers. The forms and documents were daunting. My eyes focused on the fine print as it took almost close to an hour to read everything through of my responsibilities as a business owner in the new District 12 Township. My hands shook while I clutched the pen between my fingers. The reality settled into my mind as I realized what I was about to finalize the ownership and construction of my bakery. Wasn't it just a few days ago I had won the baking competition and survived my abduction? It felt like a lifetime ago.

So many things had happened since then, which led me to this day; the day that I had dreamt and longed for most of my life, a date with Katniss Everdeen. Excitement and sorrow filled my mind. Am I too hopeful and optimistic to think that I will get a normal and happy life? With everything that has happened, I feared that I'm out of time and luck. This may be the only chance that I have to be with someone I desired and loved since I could remember. _'This isn't you, Peeta,'_ my mind echoed. _'You can be happy. Nothing will happen.'_ I repeated the mantra in my head several times over.

"Peeta, are you okay?" Thom asked. "Is everything all right?"

"Sorry," I apologized as I squeezed my eyes shut and took a cleansing breath.

"He just needs a minute, Thom," Bron added. I forgot that he was behind me, hovering.

"Sorry, this is a bit overwhelming," I admitted as I signed my name and initialed my signature on the appointed areas. The swirls of letter of my name appeared foreign and unfamiliar to me. Just like the feeling I got whenever I'm stressed or anxious. Those are the times I cannot distinguish what is real. Memories of my abuse flashed in my head. It was apparent that I'm slowly remembering the time of my abduction. I cannot let this conquer me for I had lived through so much to let anything else impede the progress I had made. A life with Katniss was all I ever dreamed about. I hope that the odds are in my favor. Only time will tell.

"I'm so happy that you're finally ready to get the bakery built. I knew you would." Thom said, his excitement evident on his face. "I'm just glad that it's you, Peeta."

"Alec Baylor would have been fine as a baker," I added. "It's no big deal."

"It's a great big, Peeta," Thom answered back, a frown etched on his forehead. "You don't realize how relieved I am that you're getting to do this. For District 12. Ever since the baking contest, the footage has been viewed throughout Panem, you've been getting hundreds of letters from all the districts."

"What did you say," I responded. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"I knew that this was overwhelming and that's why I haven't mentioned it until now," Thom said. "And when you're house burned down, I didn't think it was appropriate to bring it up. But now that you're ready, I'm having the bags sent over to Mr. Abernathy's house."

"Bags? How many bags are you talking about?" I asked. I felt fear and disgust at the thought what might contain in the letters. Bron looked worried.

"There are about seven bags stored at the train storage unit," Thom said. "This is good, Peeta. Don't think I'm not aware of what people are saying about you. I know you're not a traitor. Katniss wouldn't want to do anything with you if she thought you betrayed her in any way."

"I never gave damn of what people thought of me, Thom," I gritted my teeth to control the anger simmering inside me. Why can't people just leave me alone? The room grew small and hot. The need to escape was prominent.

"Listen, I'm sorry if I upset you," Thom relented. "I'm just glad that Panem is finally seeing who you are. You're the bravest and strongest man I've ever known, Peeta. You're a hero in my books. I'll never forget what you did, how you survived and most of all, for the sacrifice you made during the war."

"I'm surprised, Thom," I admitted. "Aren't you Gale Hawthorne's friend?" Katniss informed me of Thom's involvement with Gale and how he kept tabs on our relationship status.

"I was," he said with a look of guilt and shame on his face. "He was my friend, but since the rebellion, he changed so much. He's unrecognizable."

"The war changed everyone," I stated. I hadn't anticipated Gale's transformation after the rebellion. I was certain that he and Katniss had connected and were already in a relationship after his whipping incident. After my rescue she had pretty much abandoned me to my fate and flaunted her relationship with Gale. I thought I had lost her forever even though she had never returned my affections. The cynical part of me wondered if Gale had turned out different, would I be watching the two of them building their life together here in 12? I shook the dark thoughts from my mind.

"Yeah, it did, but it didn't change you, Peeta," Thom said. "You're still the same guy I knew in school." I wondered if he really knew what happened to me, would he be saying the same thing? What would he do if he found out about my episodes and how I nearly killed Katniss? As if he read my mind he said, "I know what happened to you in the Capitol, Peeta. The rumors of what happened in 13 after you were rescued."

Shame and guilt filled me. I turned around ready to leave when he spoke, "No one can fault you for what happened after you were rescued. I'm just so in awe and admiration for what you did to survive. How you wake up each day, living your life in your terms and fighting for those you love. If I were held like that, I would have given up easily. I would be dead by now. But you, Peeta. You stayed strong and true to your self. The Capitol didn't' break you."

"Thank you, Thom," I said. I didn't realize that I needed to hear that. I've been lie to most of my life and hearing Thom say that I'm still the same put my mind at ease. Even for just a moment, it helped soothed my battered self worth and confidence. I want to believe that I'm still the same but my episodes and erratic behavior contradicted that.

"Okay, now that all the forms have been signed, you just need one more thing to look over," Thom said. "This is the contact for the contractor who will work with you to build your bakery." He handed me a sheet with the contact name and background information. "She's been the main contractor for most of 12's new shops and stores. I think you'll like her. She's from District 7."

"A woman is in charged of the construction?" I said. Not that it surprised me that she was a woman but that she was working in District 12. Men with lots of power and influence held most high profile and lucrative jobs, construction being one of them. Only a rare and a few women survived and prospered in their industry.

"She's doing a great job," I continued. "I don't think I'll have any problems with her, I hope."

"Not when Katniss finds out she's a woman," Bron smirked. "You better hope that the contractor is not a fan of yours, Peeta."

"What does that have to do with my bakery?" I asked in puzzlement and confusion.

"You really are hopeless, Peeta," he snickered back.

Half an hour later, Bron and I exited the building.

"What's next, Peeta?" Thom asked as he perused our surroundings. The town folk milled about in their own daily routine. Without a word, I headed towards one destination I knew I had to revisit. As I stood on the very same spot not just a few days ago, I closed my eyes and sent a silent prayer to my father. I prayed that I would have the strength and fortitude to endure the next couple of weeks. My next session weighed heavily in my mind.

"I'm not sure I'm ready for this, Bron," I admitted.

"You're doing great, Peet," he said with enough encouragement to bolster my ego. As I stood there, I felt of a sense of déjà vu where we stood on the same place before the baking competition. I'm grateful to be standing here once again at the site where I will begin the next stage in my life. Granted, I survive my next session.

"I'm not just talking about the bakery," I hinted. I need to get this off my chest. Bron had always been truthful and honest with me. Unlike those I trusted in the past. He looked puzzled but kept quiet. "I need you do something for me, Bron. I trust you. You've been like a brother to me."

"You have been like a brother to me as well," he returned. "Hell, you're Delly's best friend. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you. You're a hero, Peeta. I want you to know that I admire you not because you're Delly's best friend, but for who you are." I nodded my head in thanks. His praise and compliment meant a lot to me.

"In a few day I'll be having my next session," I confessed. "I'm not sure what's going to happen but…I need you to promise me something."

"Anything, Peet, anything you want," Bron swore.

"Don't say that until you hear what I have to say," I confessed. I spoke to him with as much clarity as I could. His eyes grew wide and in shock. I laid out my fears and wishes to him. I didn't want any misunderstanding what I wanted from him. He didn't interrupt me and never uttered a word until I was finished.

"Can you do that, Bron? Can you do as I asked?" I questioned. I was prepared for his rejection and argument.

"It's not a matter if I could, Peet," he said. "It's a matter of why. I understand why you've asked. I just need to know why me?"

"Because as close are I am to Delly, I know you would do anything to protect her. Even from me," I said. "I've trusted too many people in my life to only be betrayed and disappointed. Everyone I know is too close to this. They won't think straight. I need an objective person to fulfill my wishes."

"Delly is going to hate me for going behind her back," Thom said.

"She won't. I promise you, she won't," I assured him. "If anything, Katniss will never forgive me for what I asked you to do. In time, Delly and Johanna will understand, but Katniss won't."

"You're willing to sacrifice your relationship with Katniss for this. What if she hates you in the long run?" he asked.

"I've lived through her resentment, avoidance and abandonment," I said. "Her hating me will come to no surprise. At least, she'll still be alive."

"I don't know, Peet," he admitted.

"Just think about it," I asked. "Let me know before my session. So for now, I need to do a few things for our date tonight."

"What do you have in mind?" he inquired.

"I want to give the girls a night they'll never forget," I said.

"Now you're talking," Bron said with a huge smile on his face. I missed my brothers. No one will ever replace them. But Bron is like a brother to me and I'll gladly accept his friendship. With a final look at the place that was once my parent's bakery, I said a silent thank you and closed a chapter in my life. As I turned to walk away a familiar voice broke my solitude.

"Hello, Peeta," Hazelle Hawthorne said. She stood before me with her youngest daughter Posy by the hand. "It's good to see you out and about. I heard that you're opening a new bakery. Congratulations, by the way."

"Hello, Mrs. Hawthorne," I returned. My comfort and ease dropped as soon as Gale's mother addressed me. "Thank you."

"I'm glad that you won the competition," she admitted. "I wouldn't want anyone to rebuild the bakery back here in 12 unless it was you." I'm stunned into silence. This conversation was just too surreal for my taste as I talked with Gale's mother. "You opening the bakery will be a nice tribute to the old District 12. Everything here is too new and fancy. It's like they never existed." She said with a sad expression on her face as she looked around her.

I understood what she meant. It was good to come home, but it wasn't the home I was used to. The new residents and stores felt like an insult to the people and lives that were destroyed by the bombs. It was part of the reason why I wanted to rebuild my family bakery. "Having you bake again will be the only thing to remember them by," she added. I agreed.

"You make the best cookies," Posy exclaimed as she hid behind her mother's legs.

"I hope that when my bakery is finished, you and your mom will visit me," I said. "I would like for you to be my first customer to sample my cookies. Would you like that?" Posy nodded in her in excitement.

"Can we Mommy, can we visit Peeta when the bakery opens?" she asked in wonder. My heart lurched as memories of a young girl with dark hair and steel gray eyes flashed before me.

"We would like that, Peeta," Hazelle said in gratitude. Her smile faded as a serious look appeared on her face. _Oh, shit, am I in trouble? What else could she say to me?_ "I just want to thank you Peeta."

"For what?" I asked in shock and surprise.

"For what you did. For saving us in District 13," she said. "I know what it cost you." I ducked my head as tears brimmed my eyes. The beating that occurred after that interview still haunted me. I had not expected to survive such brutality, but I did. When I woke up weeks later, I woke up to Johanna's crying face. It was the first time I had ever seen her break down in tears. "I'll never forget it."

"We all won't," Bron interjected. "Panem should be on their knees thanking Peeta. We would not be here today." Mrs. Hawthorne nodded her head.

"I'm sorry, I didn't meant to be rude," I said. "This is my friend, Bron." He extended his hand to her.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am," he said.

"It's nice to meet you Bron," she said in a polite manner but turned to address me once again. "Thank you from the bottom of my heart. If it weren't for you, I'm certain that we would not be here today, alive and well and living in a new Panem. Thank you Peeta."

"I didn't do anything that anyone would have done if they were in my shoes," I said as discomfort and anxiety bubbled inside me.

"I doubt that. What you did took a lot of courage," she added. "And love."

"Excuse me, ma'am, this young man is not bothering you?" a man and his companion sneered as he stood between Mrs. Hawthorne and me.

"No, they're not," she explained as she held on to Posy's tiny hand. "We were having a private conversation actually." Hazelle appeared scared but stood her ground against the interlopers.

"Are you sure? I know who he is," he pointed to me with a sneer. "We don't appreciate the likes of him hanging about. If he's bothering you, we can take care of him."

"Please leave us alone," Hazelle added. "I can assure you that Peeta was not bothering me at all."

"Excuse me, but you are disturbing us, not the other way around," I said.

"You should be leave this town while you're still able to walk out of here," he threatened me. I placed a hand towards Bron who was about to address him. The man was a good four inches taller, heavily built and much older than me. He was drunk as he reeked of alcohol. "No one wants a traitor living in our town."

"This is my home, sir," I interjected. "I suggest that you leave while you still can walk out of here." I pointed at him. My anger and frustration had reaching a tipping point.

"You're a coward, Mellark," he continued. "It's time that someone teach you a lesson in manners and loyalty." He approached me with his arm swinging. I ducked his advance as the other man tried to grab me. Bron was quick to subdue his companion as I handled the drunk on my own.

"Two against one is cowardly," Bron spat as he held him on the ground. "Stay still or I'll break your arm."

"Please leave and no one will get hurt," I advised. I really didn't want a confrontation with anyone let alone a drunk. I had enough fighting to last me a lifetime, but when push came to shove I will defend myself. My family's name was also at stake.

"You're a dead man, Mellark," the drunk said. Bron was about to intercede when Hazelle stopped him.

"Let him fight his own battles, Bron," Hazelle said as she placed a hand on his arm. "Peeta can take care of himself." Her words boosted my confidence. I just hope that Katniss will forgive for involving one of her dearest and oldest friend and her daughter. He stepped forward to confront me and all I saw was red.

* * *

**Katniss POV – **

"Oh, Katniss, you got to try this on," Delly shrieked into my tender ears. For several hours, I've tried on every single dress, skirt and blouse she handed me. I never knew shopping was so exhausting and frustrating. If trying on clothes were bad enough, shopping for shoes were worse. I'm just glad that Effie wasn't here to join us. She went ahead to the Spa to check out its facilities. I hoped that the new establishment would survive her assessment and interference. For it was certain that Effie would commandeer and take over the Spa to assist Delly and me. In the meantime, I still hadn't found the perfect dress. The hours of searching and trying on the clothes were taking a toll on my patience and nerves. I was about to snap when Delly used her only arsenal to keep me from giving up on finding the right dress for my date with Peeta. She used Peeta.

"Peeta would love you in this," Delly said as she held a dark orange dress in front of my face. My annoyance and impatience faded as soon as I gazed at the dress. It was perfect. The dress had a v-neck with an Empire shaped waist, flair-sleeves that reached half way to my elbows. The length touched the top of my knees to show enough of my legs. I knew that Peeta loved my legs since I caught him a few times staring at them when he thought I didn't notice. I felt goose bumps whenever he stared at me with such longing that it broke my heart when I realized it was the same look he gave me not so long ago. The same look I missed when he returned back from the Capitol. The same adoration and longing I avoided and rejected from him. How I long for him to keep looking at me that way. Without giving me a moment Delly shoved me into a dressing stall to try it on. A few minutes later, I'm standing in front of a mirror twirling around like some idiot.

"I feel silly, but you're right, Delly. This is perfect," I admitted. I can't wait to see the look in Peeta's face when he sees me wearing his favorite color. My daydream was interrupted when Kara's voice sounded from behind me.

"Oh, Katniss. That dress is so lovely on you," Kara complimented. "You have to get it."

"See I told you it's perfect," Delly laughed. "Peeta is going to faint when he sees you tonight." I'm flustered and annoyed that Kara has interjected herself in my business.

"Yes, do get that. It is so perfect for you," Kara added. I placed the fakest smile I could muster and nodded. "How is Peeta by the way? I hope that's he's getting some rest before his next session."

"He's fine, thanks for asking,' I said. Her interest in my boyfriend was getting on my nerves.

"Just remind him that his next appointment is tomorrow at noon," she said. I turned at Delly who had a surprised look on her face. "I'll need to do another blood check before he meets with Dr. Aurelius." The look of shock was evident on my face as well as Delly's. "Didn't I tell you that he would be here for the next session?" Both Delly and I shook our heads. "Sorry it must have crossed my mind. Dr. Aurelius knew that Peeta refused to go to the Capitol and he wants to be present at the next session."

"Is something wrong? Should I be worried that he's personally coming here?" I inquired. "Is there something you're not telling us?" Anger and worry simmered in my belly.

"No, nothing is wrong. I'm sure he's just taking precaution," she explained. I didn't like the implication of Dr. Aurelius being present at Peeta's session. They were hiding something from me. I could feel it. Either that or I'm really paranoid that something awful was going to happen to him. Panic started to set in and my breathing became erratic.

"Katniss, are you all right?" Delly asked.

"She's keeping something from us," I choked my words.

"Katniss, I'm not," Kara exclaimed. "He wants to be here for the next session. We have no ulterior motive but to have the best care for Peeta. I want what's best for him."

"Why, why do you care?" I gritted my teeth. I knew my jealousy was unfounded, but all these women fawning over him was unnerving. Damnit, he's mine. I want to take care of him.

"Because he's special, Katniss. You both are," Kara soothed me. "I knew it the first time I saw him in the games. The way he looked and took care of you." I cringed in shame for I ignored the feeling that Peeta awakened in me. I resented him for it. Then I abandoned him when he returned altered from the boy I loved. I gave up on him. To my shame and horror I will never forgive myself for not acknowledging what everyone else saw and knew. Peeta loved me, whole-heartedly and unconditionally without asking for anything in return. I repaid his sacrifice and devotion by turning my back on him and sought Gales' comfort and company. "I'm not just his doctor. I'm also his friend," she reminded me. Why do Peeta's women 'friends' all look like her? Perfect in every way, skin flawless and unmarred from scars. Women who he deserved to be loved by. I hated them all for making me feel inadequate. "You're very lucky to have that kind of devotion."

"I know that," I snapped at her.

"I'm just saying that the next few days are going to be very difficult for him," she continued, "better yet, it will more difficult for those around him. He's not the only one who's going to need support and comfort. The days ahead are gong to be difficult and I want all of you to be prepared."

"Kara, it's best that we don't discuss this out in the open," Delly advised. "This is not the right place and time for this discussion."

"Oh, please forgive me for interrupting you and making you uncomfortable," Kara apologized. "It was not my intention to make things awkward." I turned to the dressing room leaving Delly to deal with Kara. I cleared my mind of the anxiety and stress I felt since her appearance. I didn't want her to affect my day and mood. With a heavy heart I searched for Delly hoping that Kara left in her own accord.

"She didn't mean to upset you, Katniss," Delly said as I approached her.

"I know," I said. "It's just…Peeta's mine, Delly. And I get possessive and jealous when anyone…or any woman talk about him. Wanting to take of him. I don't like the attention he attracts."

"I know what you mean," Delly complied. "You would have lost your mind and control if you were in the hospital then. You should have seen the women there, all swooning and fawning all over him. Especially when he finished the mural in his room. We had to place guards outside his door after that."

"What mural?" I inquired.

"He painted this really beautiful and…there's no words I can describe what he painted." she gushed. "It occupied a whole wall from floor to ceiling. Dr. Aurelius had left it untouched for when Peeta had to come back to the Capitol. I heard that the staff visits the room for their breaks and their lunch hour just to admire it. It's breathtaking. I'm not poetic like Peeta. You have to see it yourself." I nodded in agreement; my Peeta had a way with words that could melt your heart. But drawing and painting was his real talent.

"Can you get someone to get a picture of it?" I asked. I was curious and intrigued that Peeta was painting back then since he averse to painting now. He drew with Tamryn but never attempted to paint since his return.

"I can try," she said. My head spun when a familiar voice pierced my already delicate eardrums. Effie appeared before us with her hands on her hips and a scowl on her face. She was terrifying and beautiful at the same time. Her long sleek red pantsuit with a high collar displayed every womanly curve. I envied her beauty and femininity.

"Ladies, you're late. I've been waiting at the Spa for 20 minutes," she screeched at us. "I gave you ample time to look for your dress. Beauty waits for no one if I am to prepare you for this evening. She has a lot of work ahead of her to make you perfect and exquisite for your evening with your intended."

"Huh," Delly said. "Who's Beauty?" I giggled to myself as I realized she was unfamiliar to Effie's 'Capitol' euphemisms.

"Please hurry with your purchases," Effie added. "Time is of the essence."

"What is she saying, Katniss," she turned to me with a puzzled look on her face.

"Just do as she asks, Delly," I countered. "You're life will be a lot easier if you don't contradict her. Or argue with her."

* * *

Within half an hour, I'm dressed in light pink dressing gown. I'm naked underneath the gown like the day I was born as Effie and her 'team' assessed their work in progress. She had shipped 5 of her makeup / beauty specialists to District 12 for the main purpose of preparing us for our date. I felt as though I'm back in the games before entering the arena. Their presence made me miss Cinna. This time however, I left her expertise in her hands without fighting her. I wanted to be perfect for Peeta and our night together. I'm fantasizing of what he's planned for us. I'm still annoyed that Delly and Bron have to accompany us but beggars can't be choosers as my mother once said. I get the opportunity to act like a normal girl having a night out with her handsome boyfriend. Prim would have been so proud of me. My melancholy was disturbed by familiar shriek that echoed in the air.

"Katniss, help," Delly screamed as she entered the room with her clothes in her hands trying to cover herself. She was only wearing a pair of matching pink bra and laced panties.

"Ms. Cartwright, please control yourself," a red headed Capitol stylist spoke to her.

"What's wrong?" I cried out as she stood behind me. Two of Effie's stylists trailed right behind Delly.

"They…they told me…I…" she gasped between words. "The told me to take my clothes off." I raised my brows to her in question. "All of my clothes, Katniss."

"Oh," I tried not to laugh and snicker at her.

"They want to see me naked," Delly blubbered. "No man except Bron has every seen me naked, ever. That's embarrassing. " I should have warned her. Delly's hair and facial expression was wild and in shock.

"It's okay, Delly. They won't hurt you," Effie said. There was a tinge of annoyance and impatience in her tone.

"But," she wailed.

"They're professional. They do this all the time," I countered. Delly shook her head as tears brimmed her eyes. "Listen, they're hear to make us perfect and beautiful for our date tonight."

"Bron loves me as I am," she said. "He wouldn't care how I look. And standing naked in front of these strangers isn't going to change how he feels about me." I understood her point of view. Delly is and always has been a beautiful girl, inside and out. With her golden spun hair, blue eyes and flawless skin, it's no wonder that Peeta didn't fall in love her. But as fate would have it, he fell in love with me.

"I know, but Effie is here to help us," I added. "She brought these people all the way from the Capitol. She wouldn't do this for anyone."

Effie nodded. "Listen, my dear, by the time we're done, your Bron will fall on his feet and kiss ground that you walk on," she said as she placed a comforting arm around her shoulder.

"Why would he kiss the ground, I just don't understand you," Delly sniffled.

"Trust me, he will be your willing slave by the time I'm done," Effie continued which only made Delly more confused.

"I do trust you. If Katniss does, so shall I," she said as she wiped her eyes.

"Now, go on. Wipe your tears and throw cold water on your puffy eyes. When you calmed down I want you to remove your clothes and let us see what we need to work on." Effie instructed. "Once all your body is gone…" Their voices faded as they walked in the next room as she led Delly away.

"What?" Delly shrieked and echoed in the next room.

* * *

An hour later, we're resting inside a sauna with Delly squirming besides me. "What's wrong, Delly, you've been fidgeting since we got here?" I questioned her.

"I feel like a plucked chicken," she lamented as she adjusted herself to another sitting position. I laughed in amusement. With a towel wrapped around our chest and our hair turbaned, the mist dripped down our faces. Her face was bright red from embarrassment and discomfort. "I never in my life felt so horrified." She shifted in her seat. "Why are we in here again?"

"To open our pores," I answered.

"I thought it was bad enough that they plucked my eyebrows," Delly quipped. "Then they waxed my face and upper lip. I thought my face was falling off." She palmed her face with her delicates hands.

"It usually hurts the first time," I stated. I remembered the first time a beautician plucked my brow. It hurt so bad that I decked her.

"Then, they started to wax everything below my neck, I started to freak," Delly whined. "I think Effie was ready to sedate me. I hurt all over."

"It will be worth it," I assured her.

"I don't any hair left from eyebrows down," Delly sighed. "Katniss, they took off my hair down there. It hurt like hell. If Bron expects to have sex this evening, he's sleeping on the coach. I'm too sore down there." I giggled at the image of Bron exiled from their bed. "I mean, it's not like I've never been to a Spa before, but this was too much."

"When were you at a Spa?" I asked.

"Bron and I went to a couple's spa in the Capitol," she said. "He thought it would be fun to go there together. They didn't make me walk around naked that's for sure."

"I forgot that Bron's from the Capitol," I reminded myself. Social classes were indistinguishable once The Capitol fell. "Did you at least have fun?"

"Oh, yes, we did," Delly said in delight. "We had a massage together and relaxed in a pool filled with jets bubbling around us. It was the most intimate thing I've ever experienced. But this spa thing with Effie, I've been stripped down, waxed, plucked and now boiling in mist and all sweaty all over. My skin is pruning. I shudder to think what she has planned for us."

To her relief after the sauna, we both had a body massage, a pedicure and a manicure. Now, we're both covered with a cloth with holes to relieve our nose and eyes from the heat packs. We looked ridiculous but it soothed and relaxed us that we almost both fell asleep when a commotion awakened me from my nap. Delly was so strung out from her ordeal that she slept through the noise.

"Oh, my gosh, he's here!' a salon attendant called out. "He's here, he's here." My mind wondered who 'he' was, but I hoped it wasn't who I thought 'he' would be. "He's so much more handsome in person. Oh my, what happened to his face?"

"He's here for a hair appointment," another attendant spoke. "Who's cutting his beautiful hair?" This brought me to attention. "Oh, how I would love to get my hands on that."

"Damnit, Ms. Trinket's stylist is cutting his hair," the other attendant whined. "She had him shipped just for him. Shh, he's coming." I heard Peeta greet everyone. _I knew it; they're talking about him. Why else would they react that way? _ I mumbled to my self. "Hello, Peeta, is there anything you want like a glass of water or juice before you go to your appointment?"

"Peeta!" Effie bellowed. "What have you done to yourself? Katniss is going to be upset when she sees you." _What, what the hell is going on?_ "When she sees you looking like that she's going to kill you." I stood up so fast that the cloth slipped off my face and slipped on the ground. I nearly fell and tumbled as I stepped on the slippery floor. I ran to the next room to find Peeta with his back to me. I turned him around and gasped in horror.

"What the hell happened?" I screamed. Peeta had a bruise and a cut on his lower lip. A large red bruise on his right eyebrow was forming. "Who the hell did that to you?"

"I'm all right, Katniss," he assured me. I ignored him as my hands wandered to check for other injuries on his arms, chest and stomach. "It's just a couple of bruises. I'm fine." I'm trying to help him gain his weight back and the cuts on his arms were finally healing. I don't know how much more his body can take. It's more than I can stand when he showed up bruised and cut up on his face.

"Who did this to you?" I wailed as tears of anger and relief bubbled inside me. I turned to Bron who stood a few feet behind him. "You're were supposed to watch him and make sure he didn't get hurt."

"I'm sorry," Bron uttered. "He's all right, Katniss."

"Look at his face and tell me that," I screamed. "He's got a busted lip and big bruise forming on his forehead. You let him get beat up."

"Don't be mad at him," Peeta said as he took both my hands. I shook from fear and frustration. Someone hurt him and I wasn't there to stop it. I'm sick and tired of him getting hurt and I'm not there to protect him. Every time I let him out of sight, someone is inflicting some injury on his already abused body. "I'm really okay, I took care of him. I can stand on my own and protect myself."

"I know you can," I relented. He did survive Snow's abuse. He was a live testament of strength and courage. He's a survivor and mine to protect. But any harm or injury he endured and suffered from was an infliction to me as well. "But look at your beautiful face."

'I'll take care of his injuries before your date," Effie tried to assure me. "He'll be as good as new."

I didn't care. All I knew was that he had an altercation and he wasn't telling me who hurt him. "Tell me who did this to you, I swear when I get my hands on him I'm going to..." I hugged him tight against me. His chest was hard and solid against my breasts. My nipples pebbled on contact with his and I wondered if he felt them crushed between us. I didn't care. He felt so good as he wrapped his strong arms around me. He was not seriously injured and that was all that matter to me for now. I didn't want him to have another trip to the emergency.

"Honey, no need for more violence," he chuckled. "I assure you, he won't be bothering me or Mrs. Hawthorne again."

"Hazelle was there?" I gasped in horror.

"Bron and I were visiting the bakery site when she came upon us," he explained. "Listen, I don't want to get into it now, but I want you to know that Mrs. Hawthorne didn't get hurt and I'm fine."

"He did good, Katniss," Bron added. "He was sucker punched at the last minute and he fell on the ground." He explained Peeta's injury to his face.

"Are you sure?" I said as I took both my hands and cupped his face. _'What a second, did he just called me honey?' _my mind wandered back. My knees wobbled as my heart melted once again. He winced as my thumb grazed his lower lip. _Is he going to be able to kiss me later with that cut on his lip?_ I guess we just have to be gentle later. I am so going to demand a goodnight kiss after our date. Maybe make out later, God I hope so. I'm so tempted to press my lips to his as I realized that, as usual, we have an audience. Every fucking female was sighing and swooning at him. I glared and scowled at each of them, letting them know that Peeta was and always will be mine. To sooth and appease me, he placed a gentle kiss on my fevered forehead. His lips lingered for a second on my warm skin that tingles shot from my head to my toes. His hands rubbed my back sending a jolt of arousal to my lower body.

"I'm okay, Katniss," he comforted me. His arms were tight around my waist as he continued to stroke his hand up and down my spine. I lay my head on his shoulder and sighed in relief.

"Hey, Peet, I'm going to check on Delly," Bron announced disturbing my moment with him.

"No, you're not," Effie hollered as she took his arm and directed him to another room. "You young man need a haircut as badly as Peeta," she insisted. "March into that room and wait your turn." She lifted one of his large, rough hands. "My goodness, you also need a manicure as well. How can Delly stand such rough appendages? Your face needs exfoliation and a moisturizer."

"But…" Bron gasped. "I don't need…"

"Go, now. I won't let you near Delly with those rough hands," she spewed in disgust. Bron knew better than to argue as he walked into the next room with his shoulders slumped and a pout on his lips.

I felt Peeta's laughter rumbled through his shirt. His heartbeat was steady and soothing. "Hey, I can't wait for our date tonight," he whispered into my ear. "I can't wait to see you." His breath tickled my lobe. "See you later." He released me and walked after Bron. I sighed in contentment and joy. "And Effie, don't forget my favor. You know how much I need, okay?" He winked back at me and disappeared into the next room. Puzzled, I look at Effie for an explanation.

"My lips are sealed, Katniss," Effie gestured as she zipped her mouth with her fingers. "It's a surprise for all you three girls." Aw, my Peeta was he always this romantic I wondered? "Don't worry, Katniss. I'll keep his fans at bay. I don't think he'll appreciate an audience when he get his hair done." I sighed in relief just as I realized that he was here for a haircut. I hope he doesn't cut it too short. I love running my fingers through his hair or the way it curled it around his ears. He was so beautiful with his chiseled jaw, crystal blue eyes and full lips.

"Hey, what's going on?" Delly asked as she walked into the room. I tried not to burst in to uncontrollable laughter as she looked at Effie and me. Her hair was pulled back and she was still wearing the mask on her face so the only thing you saw was her blue eyes, red nose and rosy lips.

"Bron and Peeta were just here," I announced with a broad smile on my face. The tingles Peeta left lingered on my skin. Nothing could ruin the feelings he instilled in me.

"Bron can't see me like this," she squeaked as she ran back to the room. Unable to contain myself, I burst into laughter. Despite, the never-ending attention my boyfriend attracted and his altercation, I'm so excited and nervous. I have never been on a date before. I look forward spending time with him and pray that this would be a frequent and constant occurrence without the altercation and constant swooning from unwanted females Peeta attracted.

* * *

By late afternoon, I've been massaged, exfoliated, moisturized and waxed with Effie's four stylists. She insisted I take a longer nap to relieve me for the lack of sleep I had from the night before. I had hope that I would see Peeta for lunch but my thoughts were in vain. To my surprise I slept for a couple of hours without any nightmares. As I arrived home with bags of my evening clothes and accessories, two large vases of beautiful Primroses and White Orchids sat upon my dining table. I knew and recognized the penmanship on the cards attached to each vase. One was addressed to me and the other to Effie. I picked the envelope with my name written in beautiful script. He wrote one word, six letters in all that meant more to me than I realized. _'Always_.' One word that encompassed Peeta's devotion and feelings for me. I never knew the significance of the word until I thought I had lost him forever. A single word I took for granted. It was a vow and promise he made to me.

As I turned to run over to Haymitch's house to thank him, Delly and Johanna appeared at my doorstep. "Katniss, look what was delivered at my house this afternoon," she gushed. Both she and Johanna held one box each; one of white Dahlias and the other bright yellow Sunflowers. "What did you get?" Without a word I led them to the dining room. "Those are gorgeous," Delly commented.

"We went to Haymitch to thank him, but he said Peeta and Bron are still doing errands for your date," Johanna added. "Peeta is quite a charmer. I don't know why he gave me these." She gestured towards her flowers. "Guess we know why half of Panem wants to bed Peeta. He's such a romantic. You're a lucky girl."

"Don't remind me," I scoffed at her _'bedding Peeta'_ comment. I hated that women kept throwing themselves at him. My jealousy and possessiveness when it came to Peeta had no limits or distinction when anyone talked about him. Johanna and Delly are his friends but they are still beautiful women who admired him. Insecurity is my middle name and both of them were aware of it.

"He's yours, Katniss," Delly confirmed. "He's never had eyes for anyone but you since he was five." Her comment attested to what I had already knew. I am very lucky for his unwavering devotion. I nodded my head. The confession she admitted a few weeks ago was still fresh in my mind. She loves Peeta just as I love him. "Anyway, there's two more hours before the guys pick us up. Bron said to be ready by seven and they'll meet us here."

"Why don't you come over here and we'll get ready together?" I asked.

"That's a great idea, Katniss," Delly said. "I'll get my things and meet you here in about an hour."

What am I going to do for the next hour? Effie ensured me that she would be present to help me get ready for my date. And so I wait.

In the meantime, I walked over to my bedroom upstairs with my shopping bags in hand. Since sleeping with Peeta at his house and at Haymitch's, my bedroom has been unoccupied. The bed has been made and the room has been kept.

I sat on my bed. It felt odd like it wasn't my own. The whole house felt foreign to me. Peeta's house was always warm and inviting unlike my own home. I closed my eyes and envisioned Prim walking into my room to borrow my clothes. Her face now a blur and her voice but a whisper in my mind. I miss her so much. There are moments when all is quiet and when I'm alone, I reflect back to life I once had before the reaping. I had Prim and an absent mother. My life was about survival and finding food for the table. It was hard, severe and tore into my spirit. I became angry, bitter and resentful but at least I had Prim. She was alive, and a never-ending source of joy to my weary soul. I didn't want anything but to keep her happy and alive. She was my life.

Freedom and my own personal happiness weren't important to me. I sacrificed my own happiness to ensure hers. I only saw the present and never sought my own future. I was prepared to live alone and the emotion of love I avoided. Then, I met Peeta who turned my emotional life upside down. I ignored and avoided him after the first arena. I was prepared to live an empty and loveless marriage to ensure everyone's safety after the Victory Tour. I was willing to sacrifice love and my own happiness. I didn't think of how it would affect him at all. I felt an obligation and duty to make everyone happy with the exception of my own and Peeta's. When the Quarter Quell was announced, I knew my life was over. I didn't intend to come back from the games. But he crept into my heart and I fell hard without knowing it. I was in love with Peeta Mellark.

When I lost him I was prepared to be the same person before he existed in my life. As long as I had Prim, I was okay with that. But when I too lost Prim, I knew I was done. I had lost two of the most important people in my life even though I couldn't accept that losing Peeta had affected me in any way. I truly believed I owed him my life when in reality, I loved him like the way my mother loved my father. I was paying a debt when I should have opened my heart to him. I didn't want to admit it. While Prim made me strong, loving Peeta made me weak. Love made people weak, my mother was an example of what true love can do. If only I had the courage to love Peeta in the beginning, we could have been strong together as a couple to protect Prim. I knew Peeta would fight for her as strongly as he fought for me.

I cleared my mind and shook my head from my melancholy. I must focus on the here and now. Prim's death will not be in vain. She would not want me to wallow in self-pity and to waste the second chance I have to living a full and happy life. A life I want with Peeta in the new and free Panem. I laid out my dress on my bed and placed my shoes on the floor. Tonight, this date will embark a new chapter in our lives. The reaping, the arena and Snow pushed him towards me. I fought against it, hating anyone and anything that manipulated me and took control of my life. Even Peeta's love I denied because I was too scared and stubborn to accept what he had to offer. But Fate brought Peeta and I together again and again despite my resistance and any obstacles thrown at us. We were meant to be.

**_AN: Thank you for reading this chapter. I hope to have next one up before this coming weekend. Have a great week._**


	23. Chapter 23 - I Hold Your Hand In Mine

Chapter 23 – I Hold Your Hand In Mine

_AN: Sorry this is a day late. For some reason I had a difficult time uploading this chapter. Thank you to Trude, Aqua Rules, Tea4e, everlasting1286, kamjam, LACR and guest for your reviews and comments. I'm very grateful and appreciative for you taking the time to write them. Hope you enjoy reading this chapter._

* * *

**Haymitch POV –**

Peeta's heavy steps interrupted my thoughts and peaceful state of mind as he walked in the viewing room. I had hoped to find refuge and quiet from his distraction and anxiety for his date later this evening. After a full day of preparation and planning he had returned home buzzing with anticipation that he took to pacing my home. I didn't mind but when he treaded from room to room I was the verge of losing my patience.

"For crying out loud, Peeta," I yelled. "Take a load off. You're driving me crazy with all your pacing."

"Sorry Haymitch," Peeta said in a sheepish manner as he rubbed his hands together. "I just want this to be perfect. I'm a little nervous."

"Don't be. It will be fine. Just relax already," I advised. "You have an hour before you leave. Shouldn't you be getting ready?" Really, I love the kid, but damn, he's driving me insane. "And stop touching your hair."

"Sorry, I guess I'm not use to the length," he admitted as he touched the back of his head. "She likes to play with my hair sometimes. I hope that Katniss won't get mad that I cut it short." He had the gall to blush. It was more than I wanted to know when they spent their time together.

"Argh, will you stop," I screamed at his insecurity. "She didn't fall in love with you for your hair, though I have to admit she's really possessive about it." I recalled her threats of bodily harm when I suggested to cutting Peeta's hair. Women, never understood them. I don't need the aggravation. "You needed to cut it, you were beginning to look like Delly."

"Ha, ha," he snickered back.

"Seriously, Peet," I assured him. "You'll be fine. Everything will be fine."

"Are you sure everything will work? I don't want anything to go wrong," he confessed.

"Beetee promised me that everything is working," I said. "Peet, trust me." He raised his brow for a second. I'm paralyzed with anxiety. After all this time, does he still not trust me? The knowledge stung. He's frozen for a moment, blinking his eyes at me. Is he having another episode? I checked his wristband. It flashed green.

"Thank you, Haymitch," he said. "Thank you for making all this possible."

"Hey, it 's a group effort. Bron helped too," I said. He walked over to me and hugged me tight. I didn't want him to see the tears that were threatening to appear. Geez, I don't know how this kid can make a sap out of me, but he has. He's so likable it's no wonder girls fall over him. Poor, Katniss, having Peeta for a boyfriend is going to be a trying experience for her, but then again. Poor Peeta, having Katniss for a girlfriend is…he's a braver man than I realized. He's not perfect but he's the only one I know that can heal Katniss' shattered heart. "Anyway, go upstairs and relax for a while." He nodded his head and trotted up the stairs.

Half an hour later, he's pacing the floors again and wringing his hands. It didn't take him long to change. "Peeta," I barked.

"What?" he answered as I gave him an angry look back at him. He ignored me and started to pace again.

He looked good like he did during his first interviews. Albeit, he's 20 pounds too thin and the uneven gait from his walk is prominent due to his prosthetic leg. That time seemed like a lifetime ago. I remember the fresh face boy who declared his crush for her all over Panem. Who knew that two young kids from District 12 would change our lives forever? I was sure he was going to die in the arena. Katniss had a better chance in surviving the games. But as fate would have it, they changed our world forever.

You see, the Capitol didn't fall because of the rebellion. It was the power of love that destroyed it. I don't think people realize that it's wasn't Katniss who ignited the rebellion. It was Peeta and his admission of love for her. He was the catalyst that created the Star Crossed Lovers of District 12 and gave birth to the MockingJay. One could not have survived without the other.

"You're doing it again," I reiterated.

"What?" he asked. I stared at the young man who shook the world. Both he and Katniss will be written down in history books, to never be forgotten. I am in the presence of greatness as well as sorrow. I had to remind myself that he still is a young man who has a bright future ahead of him. They deserve so much more than this.

"Relax, will you?" I suggested. "You're pacing again."

"Sorry," he said as he sat down. Then a second later he stood up.

"Sit down, damnit," I whined. "Take deep breaths and meditate like Dr. Aurelius taught you." He sat down again and took a cleansing breath. He calmed down but I noticed that his knee shook up and down in a nervous tick. I took a deep breath. "I'm going to check on the girls."

"Oh, okay," Peeta said. "I'll…um...going to Delly's house."

"You do that," I said. Poor kid, he's a nervous wreck for his date. I chuckled. "He'll probably be a mess when he marries Katniss." I smiled at the thought as I picked up a bottle of wine and walked over to her house.

* * *

**Katniss POV –**

My eyes stared at the girl in the mirror, she seemed familiar yet foreign. Her hair cascaded down her shoulders as her face dabbed with makeup complimented her eyes and rosy lips. She was pretty. I sighed in acceptance that girl in the mirror is me all dolled up for a date. This is not the Katniss that Peeta fell in love with but someone new, broken, and scarred. No amount of makeup or new dress can hide the mental anguish and scars I endured. This is whom Peeta still loved and wanted. I realized that through everything we've experienced he has yet to tell me how he really feels about me. Before the Quarter Quell, Peeta's feelings was apparent and obvious of his want and desire for me. It was evident in his eyes and his actions. Now, he is tentative and careful. I can't read him like I used to. His eyes would linger at me, then glaze over for a few seconds before returning to normal. It's like he's afraid of waking up from a dream to discover that I'm not real and that I don't want him. There was so much I have to make up for, years to catch up. It is through his patience and generous heart that he's given me this second or third chance. I grab it with both hands.

"Katniss, you're so beautiful. Peeta is going to be beside himself when he sees you," Delly gushed as she interrupted my thoughts. With her by my side and guiding me, I agree that everything is perfect, the dress, the makeup and hair. "You just need one more thing." She reached into a small bag and pulled out a small bottle. Without any hesitation she pulled the cap and dabbed behind my ears, lined my neck and inner elbow with a cherry-like scent onto my skin. The fragrance was alluring and pleasant. "Now you are perfect."

I hugged Delly tight that she almost lost a grip on the perfume bottle. "Thank you, Delly," I said. "I couldn't have done all this without you."

Her eyes brimmed with tears. "Katniss, to Peeta you are perfect in every way," she added. "He would have taken you out on a date just wearing your hunting pants and shirt if you wanted to. He loves you the way you are."

"You think so?" I asked. My insecurity and inadequacies blinded me from any rationale. There are so many beautiful women out there that he could have fallen in love with. Yet he chose me. I assessed Delly as she stood before me. Her golden hair sparkled like the sun. Her blue eyes with minimum makeup twinkle like stars. How I envied her flawless skin and round curves on her body. She is a beautiful person in side and out. We all suffered with the aftermath of the rebellion, yet she instilled hope, laughter and joy in every thing she did and touched. She lost as much as Peeta and I, but Delly maintained her bubbly personality and effervescent character. She reminded me of Prim.

"Katniss, if there was once certainty in this world, I know that he loves you no matter how you look," she reminded me. She even spoke and thought like Prim. I wanted to cry with my want for her. She would have been pleased and excited with my progress with Peeta.

"Thank you for being here, Delly," I said. "And for being my friend."

"You know, you used to scare me at school," she admitted. "All lot of girls were scared of you, Heck some of the boys too. Except Peeta." Her eyes twinkled as she teased me. "He was all googly eyed and crushing on you. He was more intimidated of you and scared of being rejected than anything else."

"I wished he spoke to me," I sighed. "But I'd likely rejected him since he was Merchant." The social class division between Merchant and the Seam would have been the only factor that would have affected my relationship with Peeta. That and the fact that I sworn off of falling in love especially with a Merchant boy. It reflected too much of my parent's relationship.

"No sense in thinking like that. We have to think of now and our future," Delly reiterated. "Your future with Peeta." I smiled at the prospective of having him with me by my side, in my arms and in my bed as my lover. This courtship is nice though. It felt good being needed and desired.

"So before they get here I have one more thing to give you," she said as she handed a pink linen bag to me. I reached inside and felt something soft, silky and light between my fingers. I gasped in embarrassment as I lifted a black sheer bra and panty set. Delly had given me my first lingerie.

"Delly, I can't wear that," I said to her as heat rose from my face. "Besides, Peet and I have never…"

"Not yet, but in time you will,' she said as she winked at me. "Don't be embarrassed, Katniss. I wished someone had advised me what to wear with my first time with Bron." Her eyes were teary and her lips trembled. "But that's a story for another time. When you're ready and feel comfortable, wear this not just for Peeta but for yourself. Now hide it before Johanna gets here. You know you will never hear the end of it." I laughed and nodded my head as I hugged her.

"Thank you," I said then stuffed the lingerie back into the bag as I placed it inside a drawer.

"Hey, you two," Johanna joined us. She held a small box in her hands. "You both ready for this evening?"

"Fucking, yes," Delly screamed. I laughed in surprise at Delly for she never swore unless she was upset and really angry. "We are going to have so much fun." Her energetic exuberance was contagious as I felt her excitement and joy. Then her eyes bulged, as she looked at the box in Johanna's hand. Delly laughed so loud she startled me.

"You didn't? That's not…" she broke off her sentence as her face turned a bright shade of red. "Johanna, you should wait to give that to her."

"What? We're all adults here," she scoffed. "And don't pretend that you didn't have the same idea." She pushed the box to me. "Here, this is for you. I'm mean, it's really for Peeta but you should be prepared just in case." I lifted the cover and found packets of condoms. I gasped in horror and embarrassment again. What is it with these two and their preoccupation with my sex life? I really didn't need their encouragement.

"Johanna…" I spoke unable to continue my sentence, as my face grew warm from cheeks to neck. The lingerie made me uncomfortable but to receive the condoms that were meant to Peeta was just beyond embarrassing. The room became hot and small all of a sudden. I tried not looking at my bed and envisioned Peeta and I tangled in my sheets naked and… I checked on the size and scowled at Johanna to distract me from my lurid thoughts. "And how would you know what size to get him?"

"Please! I don't told you once before that I've seen Peeta naked," she scoffed. "And you shouldn't be jealous because it wasn't in the best circumstances if you know what I mean." I narrowed my eyes at her. "Listen, Katniss. The first time I saw him naked, he was lying on the ground after being beaten by two Peacekeepers. I wasn't exactly ogling at his penis while he was bleeding all over the place. Not at all sexy."

Both Delly and I sobbed in horror and sadness. "I'm sorry, Johanna," I apologized. She was right. I had no grounds to feel jealous.

"But I have to say, he's quite impressive," she teased. "Just make sure you have a lot of foreplay before he…" Delly palmed Johanna's mouth with her hand.

"That's enough Johanna," Delly said. "Stop teasing her." Johanna snickered and laughed at my discomfort and embarrassment. Delly turned to me. "Katniss, if you do need any advise or have any questions, don't ask me. I might get jealous." She teased as she winked and took the box and placed a few condoms in my small purse. I also forgot that she too has seen my boyfriend naked. Horrified, I placed both hands on my face. Sex is probably the furthest thing on Peeta's mind, I imagined. Though the idea did appeal to me.

"Ladies, the boys will be here any moment now," Effie said as she appeared by the door. "My, don't you two look so beautiful and exquisite this evening." She walked over to appraise both Delly and me. "I believe that your young men will in awe when they see you."

"Thank you Effie," I said as I hugged her in gratitude. Delly joined us in a group hug.

"Group hug, everyone. You too Johanna," Delly squealed as she yanked her by the arm.

"What the hell, Delly," Johanna complained but wrapped her arms around us. A second later, Delly pulled a camera from her bag.

"Picture time," she announced as proceeded to take photos of herself and everyone. "This is a monumental moment that I know Peeta will want to remember. He's been dreaming about this since he was five."

My eyes brimmed with tears from joy and a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time, happiness. I feel happy.

"Okay, ladies, no crying or you'll ruin all the work I've done," Effie sniffed as she fought with her own tears.

"Hey, where's everybody," Haymitch yelled from downstairs.

"We're upstairs, Haymitch," I announced. "Come on up." I heard his loud threads as he stomped up the stairs.

"Everyone's decent, I hope," he asked as he peeked into the room. "I wanted to give you this, Katniss before the guys came over." He handed me bottle of wine. "I had to get out because Peeta was driving me nuts. I swear that boy acts like he's never been out with you before."

"You can't blame him," Delly corrected him. "This is their first real date. All those other times weren't real." She had to remind me. Haymitch squirmed from Delly's outburst.

"Well, try telling him to calm down," he grumbled. "Get him to take a swig before you go out."

"I don't want him drunk on our first date, Haymitch," I sneered. "You leave him alone." He raised his hands in surrender. I dropped the bottle on a bedside table.

"Just saying, lighten up," he said in a sheepish manner. "I need a drink." Just as I was about to respond, the doorbell rang. "That'll be the guys. Okay, everyone relax and take a deep breath. I'm going to get the door." He turned and walked down the stairs. Effie gave me one last hug before she left.

"I'm so happy for you, Katniss," she beamed her smile at me. "My kids are all grown up." She sniffled and swiped her eyes with her hand. "Posture straight, chest up, got to show your assets." She gazed my chest. "And chin up." She placed a hand on my cheek and turned away.

Johanna hugged us both. "See you downstairs," she said as she turned and left the room. Delly took my hand.

"You ready?" she asked. My knees felt wobbly and my hands shook. "Let's go see our boys. I'll go first. See you downstairs." She left the room and left me alone with my thoughts.

I gave myself a few seconds and walked down the stairs. As I stepped down the stairs, I saw no one but Peeta. I didn't notice Bron standing next to Delly who had her arms wrapped around his waist. Nor did I notice Effie tearing up, Johanna smiling with a hand over her mouth while Haymitch snorted a comment. My eyes were glued to crystal blue eyes that belonged to the Boy with the Bread. Peeta was wearing a dark blue jacket with matching pants and dark black patent shoes. Underneath the jacket was a white crisp shirt that was left open with two buttons. His hair was cut short but curled around his pink ears. The diamond earring on his lobes twinkled. His eyes were soft and his mouth agape. Effie did a great job in covering the bruise on his forehead, but she couldn't hide the cut that marred his upper lip. He still looked beautiful to me. For a moment I thought the world stood still as everyone and everything vanished. He approached me with tentative steps.

"You look beautiful, Katniss," he said in whisper. I'm speechless as he handed me a bunch of flowers with an orange bow around it. "I hope you like these…I…" I noticed they were the same flowers that bloomed in the woods and our meadow.

"Thank you, Peeta," I said. "I love these as well as the roses you sent this afternoon. But these I love because you picked them for me." I blushed when I remembered the other people in the room. I hope I didn't sound like an idiot stumbling with my words of appreciation.

"Aw, how sweet," Delly blubbered. She held a dozen red roses in her hands. Effie sighed in admiration as Johanna nodded in agreement. Haymitch snorted.

"Oh come on, kiss her already," he snickered. Peeta turned his head with an angry look on his face.

"Not in front of people," he said as he folded his arms across his chest and stared at the floor in front of him. "No more pretending." He whispered low but I heard him. I scowled at Haymitch.

"Shut up, Haymitch," Johanna said.

Peeta cleared his throat and looked back up as he handed a flat brown carton at me. My hands trembled as I lifted the cover to reveal small flowers interwoven into a crown. "You don't have to wear it for our date, but I thought…" He stopped as he looked at me with a shy and scared look on his face. "They looked pretty on you the last time and…" He stuttered his words. "Never mind, you don't have to wear it…this was a stupid idea."

I smiled and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Thank you, it's beautiful," I said into his ears. He held me close as he placed a soft kiss on the base of my neck and shoulder before releasing me from his embrace. His lips left a tingling sensation. "Will you put it on for me?" He nodded his head as he took the crown from my hands while Delly grabbed the box. I bowed my head as he placed the flowery crown on my head. Delly, Johanna and Effie sighed. Even Haymitch held his tongue and smiled at us with tears in his eyes.

"That was so beautiful," Effie sniffled as she dabbed a handkerchief to her wet eyes. "You're so sweet Peeta." Delly and Johanna were whispering to each to each other. Their heads closed together as Johanna nodded then winked at me. 'What the hell are they whispering about now?' I thought to myself.

"All right, you kids need to leave if you want to make your reservations," Johanna announced. As we're about to leave Haymitch turned to us in a serious tone.

"Hold up," he instructed. "Is everyone wearing their necklace? No one leaves this house unless you do." Delly, Johanna, Effie and I lifted the medallion to show to him. Bron jangled his military tag then stuffed it back into his dress shirt. "Now you can go." I sent a silent thanks to Johanna, Effie and Haymitch as I hugged them one more time.

I grabbed Peeta's hand as Bron dragged Delly to the door. "And whatever you do, do not ever take them off for whatever reason," he yelled as we approached my front door. I wondered how he would have reacted if he found out we took them off while we were at the Spa. No point in telling him.

Ten minutes later, Peeta extended his hand towards me to let me out of a hover car. "That was awesome," Delly squealed as Bron led her out of the car as well. Bron borrowed a car to drive us into the Township. Thank God for his foresight since I dreaded the long walk into town with my heels.

"It belongs to one of my buddies," Bron explained. "We have use of it until tomorrow afternoon. We can all go for a ride after breakfast tomorrow if you' re up to it." Where would we go I wondered since District 12 didn't have many man-made highways or roads?

With my hand tucked under Peeta's arm, he led us to the same restaurant we celebrated after his baking competition. The hostess, a young woman in her mid 20's walked us over to a secluded corner of the restaurant away from the main dining room. Patrons and workers turned their heads as they watched us walked past them. The dining area that was reserved for us was a booth that seated six guests. I slid in first with Peeta behind me. Delly and I sat in the center as the Peeta and Bron flanked us. I didn't like the distance between us so I yanked his hand and pulled him closer to me. "You're too far away," I pouted at him. He placed soft kiss on my hand.

"Sorry, honey," he returned with a big smile on his face. A thrill shot through me but the feeling was short-lived as the hostess addressed us.

"Enjoy the rest of the evening, Mr. Mellark," she flirted. "If you need anything else, please don't hesitate to call me. Either of you." She flashed her smile at Peeta and Bron while she sashayed her hips as she walked away. Bron laughed while Delly scowled at him. My Peeta only had eyes for me as he held my hand under the table. I reminded myself that I wouldn't let my insecurity or jealousy ruin our evening.

"So I was thinking of getting the rack of lamb," Bron said. He had an arm around Delly's waist as they shared a menu. It was intimate and sweet seeing them together. I gazed at Peeta as he kept his hand in mine while he was looking at the menu with his head down.

"What are you getting?" I asked.

"I'm getting the lamb stew."

"Peeta you need to eat more than that," I admonished him.

"I'm having it with salad and bread. Besides, everything else looks too much and heavy for my stomach," he admitted.

"I'm getting the lasagna and you're going to have some with me," I insisted.

"Whatever you say, honey," he returned then looked at Bron and Delly. "What?" I looked to see them staring at us.

"You two are so cute together," Delly giggled.

"Shut up, Delly," Peeta said with a shy smile on his face.

"Welcome to Cahill's my name is Monique. I will be you're waitress this evening. Are you ready to order?" the young woman said in a practiced manner. Her eyes bulged as she recognized Peeta and me. "Oh, hello Mr. Mellark, Ms. Everdeen. It will be a pleasure serving you this evening."

"Thank you," Peeta responded. "Bron, are you and Delly ready to order?" He nodded his head.

"I would like to start with a salad then I will have your lamb stew," Peeta ordered. "Ms. Everdeen will have the lasagna."

"Would Ms. Everdeen like a salad as well?" Monique asked as she wrote our order on a digital pad. "And what dressing would you like?"

"We'll both have your house dressing?" I answered. She continued to take Bron and Delly's order.

"Would you like to start off with an appetizer, the mushroom tops are delicious," she recommended.

"Please make two orders and I would like to order champagne," Bron added. "Do you carry the Capitol Silver Label?" Peeta's eyebrows rose and breathing became labored.

"What's wrong?" I asked. His face grew pale and his hands shook that I had to grab them in both hands.

"It's…the Silver Label is…was President Snow's favorite champagne," he explained. "He would drink it front of me when he…" He closed his eyes while his other hand grabbed the side of his face.

"Cancel the champagne, please," Delly said. "We'll like a bottle of your best red wine and four glasses of water."

"Okay, I'll get your appetizers ordered first," Monique said. "Are you okay, Mr. Mellark?"

"Please just leave us," I ordered ready to snap as she continued to hover. After she left I took Peeta in my arms and held him close. His body shook as he gasped for air.

"I'm sorry, Peet," Bron apologized.

"Don't be, Bron," Peeta returned. "You didn't know." The atmosphere grew tense and silent as I spied a few guests staring at us. I didn't care all that mattered to me was Peeta's welfare. I whispered into his ear, "You're okay, I'm never going to let anyone hurt you ever again." I repeated the mantra over and over until he calmed and settled down. I sighed missing his long hair that gleamed in the sun and curled in the ends. This haircut was close to the Peeta I remembered during the first arena; the Boy with the Bread who saved my life one winter all those years ago.

After a few minutes later Monique returned with four glasses of water and two plates of the appetizers she recommended. I took Peeta's glass and handed it to him. He took a few sips. "I'm sorry if I spoiled our evening."

"You didn't," I assured him as I massaged the back of his neck.

"Don't apologize, it's my fault," Bron interjected.

"Well, you didn't know that I would have an averse reaction to ordering a bottle of champagne, Bron," he corrected him. "No harm done." That's my Peeta making sure everyone was happy and overlooking his own welfare. "Come on dig in, the mushrooms smell delicious." And just like that he's back to normal as he scooped two mushroom tops on his platter.

Monique appeared before us with a bottle in hand. "This is compliments from the Mayor of District 12," she announced. She pointed to the adjacent booth where the Mayor and wife were having dinner. They raised their wine glasses at us. Peeta, ever the diplomat waved back in gratitude. "Shall I pour?" Bron nodded. Monique left as soon as she poured all four glasses of wine.

"I'd like to a make a toast," Bron said as he raised his glass. "For this evening and many night like this. May the odds be in our favor." I took several sips and felt the wine burn my throat. It tasted smoky and dry. Within minutes I felt a bit woozy and giddy.

"Are you okay, Katniss?" Peeta asked with a worried look on his face. He was mid-way into shoving a mushroom in his mouth. I wanted to reach over and lick his upper lip.

"I'm feeling great, Peeta," I answered in return. "How are you?"

"I'm okay." He shrugged his shoulders. "I'm a little embarrassed with what happened earlier. I'm sorry I almost ruined our evening with the champagne thing."

"Peeta, you didn't," I needed to assure him, "As matter of fact, everything has been perfect with the flowers, and the ride over. I'm having a wonderful time because I get to spend it with you."

"The night's not over yet," he said. "I can't wait to show you my surprise later."

"Doesn't matter what you planned," I said in earnest. "Just as long as I'm with you, is all that matters to me."

"Have I told you, you took my breath away when you walked down the stairs," he said with a shy smile. "I thought I was dreaming. I've dreamt of this night for so long. You're so beautiful."

"You're the only one that makes me feel that way," I said in a whisper. "No one but you." I heard a sniffle and a sigh next to me. I turned to see Delly eyes misty with tears.

"You two are going to make me cry and ruin my makeup," she cried.

"Stop being nosy, Dells," Bron interjected.

"What? They're sitting next to me," she defended herself. "It's not like I'm eavesdropping." I turned to Peeta whose face was bright red. He picked up his fork and took a bite on the mushroom. I followed suit.

"This is really good," he said. "I wonder if I can make these at home." I envisioned Peeta and I having quiet dinners alone in my home. I wondered what he planned to do with his housing situation. He can't live with Haymitch forever. Maybe he wouldn't be averse to moving in with me. It seemed like a natural progression in our relationship. I am already sleeping with him.

After the appetizers and salad. Monique and a waiter appeared before us with our dishes. Every thing looked and smelled heavenly. Only Peeta's stew looked small in comparison to my lasagna, Delly's Veal cutlet and Bron's rack of lamb. Every few minutes I stole glances at Peeta to make sure he ate most of his lamb stew and bread. Dinner was quiet and free from unwanted attention. Though we did have 2 interruptions as some town folks wished us best wishes and gratitude from freeing Panem from Snow's tyranny. I realized that this too was a part our lives. Peeta and I could never live a life in anonymity. We will forever be the Star Crossed Lovers of District 12 and I as the MockingJay. We will always be recognized, followed and stared at in public.

"Do you not like your lasagna?" Peeta inquired.

My lasagna was delicious but very filling. I was only able to eat half of my meal. "Yes, I do but it's too much," I admitted. "You want a taste?" I picked up my fork and cut a piece not giving him a choice in the matter. He looked tentative and shocked when I raised the fork to his lips. It was an intimate gesture and I wanted everyone to witness it.

"That's really good," he said, as his eyes grew wide. He moaned. For a moment I envied the fork when he wrapped his lips around the utensil. He's going to be the death of me. "I'll order that next time." We're going to have a lot of 'next times,' I swore to myself. I continued to spoon feed whatever he could finish. With our bellies full of food and wine, Peeta ordered dessert to go. Delly and I excused ourselves to go the restroom before we left the restaurant.

"Do you have any idea where we're going next? I asked Delly as I wiped my hands with a paper towel. The restroom was free from eavesdroppers.

"No, but Bron hinted that you're going to be really impressed with Peeta's surprise," she admitted. "I can't wait to see it."

When we returned to the table, we polished off the bottle of wine. Peeta held my free hand all night. Only letting go when he ate or drank his wine. Our dishes were taken away and our leftovers were packaged when Peeta decided to head off to our next destination.

"I'm just need to go to the restroom and we'll head out for the next part of our date," he said. Bron stood up to join him.

"I'll join you," Bron said.

"I'm just going to wash my hands. I don't need an escort."

"Peeta," I gasped in fright and fear. Did he not remember that this was the place he was abducted?

"You disappeared the last time," he reminded him. "I'm going with you." Peeta relented. They walked away leaving Delly and I alone for a few minutes.

"Katniss, take this," she said as she handed a small plastic box that contained white round pills. I dreaded to think what she was giving me next. Oh god, please don't tell me she's giving me birth control pills.

"Delly, I swear if these are birth control pills, I'm going to kill you in your sleep," I threatened. She laughed at my face.

"Katniss, they're mints. You know, after dinner candy," she explained. "You ate lasagna." I looked at her and finally understood. "If you intended to kiss Peeta later, you don't want to have tomato breath, do you?" Hmm…kissing Peeta later. I drank all my water and popped two mints in my mouth. Delly snickered at my eagerness.

"Eat the whole box while you're at it," she laughed at me.

At the corner of my eyes, I heard a commotion. My first impression was that Peeta was in danger but I remember that Bron wouldn't let anything happen to him. I didn't want to get paranoid.

"Speak for yourself, Delly. You have cow breath," I returned as I laughed at her. My instincts were right. My laughter was interrupted when Bron returned with an angry and teary-eyed Peeta. I stood up from the booth and held him by the arms.

"What happened?" I cried as I wiped tears falling down Peeta's cheeks. He gritted his teeth.

"I'm sorry," he said with a pained look in his face.

"I'm sorry, Katniss," Bron said. "I didn't see her and catch her on time. She ambushed him."

"Who? What did she do?" I cried in frustration. Delly pulled on Peeta's arm to check his wristband.

"Some woman grabbed him and…" Bron explained but stopped as he looked at Peeta. His head was down and his eyes away from me.

"What? Damnit, just tell me," I yelled at him startling Peeta. He blinked several times.

"She grabbed him and kissed him," he continued. "Kissed him hard and…bit his lip."

"What the fuck, where is she?" I roared. Who the fuck does that? Peeta's lower lip was red from the bite.

"She ran off," Bron said. "Peeta was startled and he just pushed her so hard she fell on the ground. I thought for a moment he was having an episode."

"He's okay," Delly assured me.

"I didn't mean to…" Peeta uttered. "I didn't want…I didn't' meant to push her so hard. I didn't hurt her, did I?"

"She attacked you, Peeta," I said as I seethed with anger. 'She bit him,' my mind repeated. "I need to find her so I an give her a piece of my mind."

"Don't, Katniss," Peeta begged. "Don't leave me."

"I won't," I swore as I hugged him close. My anger abated to comfort him. He didn't need my anger; he needed my comfort.

"Katniss, Delly why don't you take Peeta outside while I settle dinner," Bron instructed. As usual, we had an audience. Cameras and videos were being shot as we spoke. I wrapped my arms Peeta's waist as we walked out the restaurant. Delly picked up our leftovers and trailed behind us. Once outside, Peeta wrapped both his arms around my waist and dropped his head on my shoulder. I rubbed his back in circular motion soothing his shattered nerves.

"I'm here, Peeta," I said. Once again, he was out of my sight and someone tired to hurt him. When I find out who she is, I'm going to hunt her down and…

"I don't like anyone kissing me," Peeta sighed into my neck. His breath tickled my skin.

"That's understandable," Delly said. "Especially if they bite you. That's just creepy. Does it hurt much?" Nurse Delly has appeared. "Let me see." She fingered his lower lip. I tried not to react out of jealousy but she was touching my boyfriend's lip.

"She really didn't bite it hard. She just surprised me," Peeta admitted as he ran his tongue on his lower lip. Argh, he shouldn't do that. Injured or not, he was sexy as hell at the moment with his hair disarray and his eyes soft.

"You need to put ice on it later," Delly instructed.

"Everyone okay? Let's get out of here," Bron said as he approached us. "The manager gave us dessert on the house." He lifted a white carton and with bag. "Come on, we need to get to the next place for our dessert."

I sat in the car with Peeta beside me. His arm was wrapped around my waist as I leaned my head on his shoulder. It's a beautiful evening as Bron drove us to next destination. Ten minutes later he stopped the car and parked at a remote part of District 12's woods. It's dark and quiet. I didn't see any buildings or structures; just tall trees surrounding us.

"Where are we?" Delly asked as she clutched onto Bron's large hands.

"What are we doing here?" I asked Peeta.

"This is my surprise," Peeta explained. Out of nowhere four Guardsmen appeared before us with flashlights. They wore their black uniforms and carrying guns making them difficult to see with only the lights identifying them. Bron approached the tallest man giving him a handshake.

"Thanks Jonah. I owe you guys," Bron stated.

"No problem. Hey, Delly. He treating you right," Jonah asked in a teasing manner. "You let me know if he not, okay?" He turned to Peeta. "Hi, Peeta."

"Hi, Jonah, thanks for coming guys and doing this."

"Any friend of Bron's is a friend of mine," he spoke as he shook Peeta's hand. "Besides, we all wanted to meet the famous Katniss Everdeen." He extended his gloved hand towards me. "It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Jonah. And the grunts behind me are Darryn, Eli and Jace."

"It's nice to meet you as well," I said shaking all their hands. I turned to Peeta feeling uneasy as the four gazed at me. I held on to him to steady my nerves. It was disconcerting since their presence made me uncomfortable. In their eyes they saw Katniss Everdeen as the MockingJay, the girl from District 12 who survived two arenas and led a nation to war against the Capitol. They didn't really see me.

"Is everything all set up?" Peeta asked.

"Peet, everything is fine," Jonah added. "You ready?" Peeta nodded his head and looked at me. "All systems go." He spoke in to his head microphone. Bright lights blinded me for few seconds as the woods lit up. At the edge of the woods was a large rock with words etched on to the surface. I blinked my eyes for a few seconds and read the inscription, 'EVERDEEN MEADOW in dedication to the Everdeen Family.' Underneath in small letters was inscribed, 'Privately owned and funded.'

I turned to Peeta with my mouth agape and my eyes brimmed with tears that fell. "Who did this…when…?" I stumbled with my words as they were caught in my throat.

"It's not open yet. I wanted you to see it first before the public."

"Who…?"

"Come on." He grabbed my hand and led me further into the woods that opened to a large park with a walkway to the center of the field. The structure in the center was a gazebo-like building with seven pillars and was covered by a large circular dome. It was a beautiful and magnificent building. In the center of the building was a small white marble statue of a little girl about four feet high wearing two braids on top of a two-foot pedestal. At first I thought it was me as a child when I realized it was a statue of Prim.

"When I came back from the Capitol, I told Haymitch that I wanted to get rid of my Capitol earnings. He fought against it saying that I earned it and that I should keep it. I was adamant of not keeping blood money. My own blood to be exact. So, he made a few inquiries for me about the land around District 12. So as soon as I could manage I bought a few acres. I was going to show you this for her birthday but you were..." I remembered that solemn day when I disappeared into the woods. He found me and brought me back to life.

"Peeta, it's Prim," I choked and cried as tears filled my eyes. "It's so beautiful."

"I didn't have her image commissioned at first. I was having a statue done of you, Katniss. But I thought you would want her instead. The person you loved most in the world."

He took me in his arms as I cried and sobbed in his chest. "What about your family?" I asked. "You should have bought this for yourself in behalf of your family instead of mine.

"I love my family, Katniss, but they abandoned me to live on my own after the first game. I had no one. No one needed me." He pressed me closer to his chest as I felt his heartbeat against mine. "If you rejected me gift, I would have bequeathed the land to the common wealth of District 12. This is your land now to do what you will."

"How much, Peeta?" I asked. "How much did you buy?"

"A lot." He shrugged his head. I stared him down. "It was inexpensive since who wanted a bunch of trees as an investment." He continued to evade my question. "President Paylor was very generous and understanding for my request. For generations to come, this land cannot me touched ever. It's under the conservation law that prohibits any future development.

"How much land?" I insisted he tell me.

"Only 12,800 acres," he relented. I gasped in surprise. That's 20 square foot miles that I own.

"Thank you, Peeta. Thank you," I repeated over and over. I'm not good with words so I continued to hold to him sobbing and crying with tears of joy. After a few minutes, I looked around us. I almost forgot that Bron and Delly were with us. The guys were pacing the perimeter of the park while they stood a few feet away from us. "Delly, Bron come here. You won't believe what Peeta bought me."

"I know," Bron said. "He took me here this afternoon to show me and set up a surprise for you."

"There's more," I squealed.

On the side of the building were built-in curved benches; on each pillar were audio speakers. Peeta opened a locked panel with a small key then punched a few numbers. Soft music filled the air.

"Where is the music coming from?" Delly asked.

"It's music coming from the Capitol," Bron explained. "It's being broadcast from their satellites."

"So do you like my surprise?" Peeta asked.

"Peeta, there is no way I can outdo this…gift," I said. "You giving me this…is beyond anyone has ever done for me. I'm speechless and grateful and…fuck…I don't know what to say."

"I just want to make you happy. That's all I ever wanted to do." He took both of my hand into his.

"You make me more than happy," I returned. A familiar sigh and sniffle interrupted my moment with Peeta. I didn't have to turn around to identify who was making the sound.

"I need to carry a handkerchief or box of tissues when I'm around you two," she sniffled. "You two are going to make me cry again."

"Sorry, but my girlfriend is a sap," Bron teased her as he grabbed by the waist from behind her. "You should see her when see reads those trashy romance novels." Peeta and I chuckled at their antics.

"I know. I caught her once reading those during homeroom in school," Peeta added.

"Watch it, baker boy or else I'll tell someone about the love letters he wrote to a certain dark haired girl with a braid," she teased him back. I smiled as Peeta's face blushed in a shade of pink that reached his ears.

"Something you want to tell me?" I asked him. He wrote me love letters? Where are they?

"Maybe," he said. "How about we eat the dessert before it melts." Peeta suggested to distract me from Delly's confession. He opened the cartoon and gave one round plastic bowl to Bron. In the small bag were four spoons and napkins with cleaning wipes. He handed the spoons to Delly and Bron. "I hope you like chocolate," he announced as he open the bowled to reveal chocolate cake with a layer of vanilla egg custard on top wish a large dab of chocolate syrup.

Delly and Bron dug in to the bowls with great enthusiasm. Their moans filled the air. "This is fucking out of this world," Bron expressed. "Shit I can eat the whole thing by myself." Delly giggled.

"Heck, I can eat this everyday," she exclaimed.

Peeta took his spoon and scooped a small portion. He extended the utensil to my lips. "Your turn." He said reminding me how I fed him lasagna an hour before during dinner.

"Oh, fuck that's really good," I said. Peeta smiled as he scooped a piece for himself.

"You're right, this is awesome," he returned as he made another scoop for me. He only took two more bites when I realized he was only feeding me.

"You don't want anymore," I asked.

"It's really good, but my stomach can't take anymore," he admitted. "I ordered this for you, really. You can have all of it." He continued to feed me as I polished off the rest of the cake. The situation turned on. It was erotic and intimate. After dessert he placed the container in the bag and wiped his hands. My Peeta is a clean freak and loves order. His home was always clean and neat and his kitchen immaculate. Hes' a complete opposite to me and I love him for it.

"Katniss?" he spoke in a whisper.

"Yes, Peeta?"

"Dance with me," he said as he took my hand. I only heard the music in the air and saw his crystal blue eyes. The world disappeared around us. With his hand in mine, and his arm around my waist, we swayed to the music ignoring everyone and everything around us. I didn't notice the Guardsmen as they continued their surveillance around the park nor did I notice Bron and Delly as they sat on one of the benches watching us. With my forehead pressed against his, I felt every breath he took. His lips were inches away from my own. I could no longer stand the remaining distance between us so I dropped his hand and wrapped both arms around his neck pressing his chest against mine. Startled, he gasped in surprise and stiffened my arms, then relaxed after a few seconds.

I'm relaxed, overwhelmed with emotion but happy. I don't know how much time has past. Time stood still. It could have been hours as I laid my head on his shoulders and sighed. "You okay, honey?"

"Hmm," I mumbled, too content for words. Peeta chuckled, his chest vibrated. I swore I could have fallen asleep in his arms standing upright. I was comfortable and warm as held me. I didn't want the night to ever end. "Sleepy," I managed to say.

"Hey, don't fall asleep on me. Our date isn't over yet," he stated.

"What? What do you mean?" I asked. I looked at my watch and realized it's only around 9 in the evening. Too early to go home for bed. Though I do look forward to kissing him. I'm making an exception to kissing him on our first date.

"Sorry to break this up, Peet. But the time is up," Jonah appeared before us. Suddenly, the park lights went dark and the music stopped. Jonah and his guys turned on their flashlights. "We only got permission to divert the electricity to this place for an hour." Peeta had his arm wrapped around my shoulder as Jonah led us back to the car.

"Thanks, Jonah," Peeta exclaimed. "I'll never forget this. When my bakery is finished, please come by anytime. All of you. Coffee and anything you want is on the house."

"It was my pleasure, Peet. Anything you want or need don't hesitate to call me," he said as he extended his hand to him. Jonah turned to Bron. "Same thing applies to you, Bron. Call me if you need any help. Good bye, Delly. Katniss." He saluted us and jogged off to regroup with his buddies.

The ride home was short as we reached the Victor's Village minutes later. Johanna greeted us at my house as we arrived at my doorstep. I was surprised that she was there instead of Delly's. "Go inside, Johanna will fill you in," Peeta explained as he went home and Bron walked to his house. Delly and I are dumbfounded but went as instructed.

"So how was it? Was it everything you imagined?" she asked.

"Peeta sure knows how to impress and romance a girl that's for sure," Delly added.

"I can imagine," Johanna declared.

"Oh, Johanna. It was more than I ever expected," I said. "But Peeta said that our date isn't over so I'm surprised we're back home."

"Well, that's why I'm here. You both need to change. Your clothes are on the bed upstairs," she explained. "Hurry up, Peeta and Bron will be here in ten minutes to pick you up."

"Where's Effie?" Delly inquired. Her presence was missed.

"Upstairs asleep," Johanna informed us. "Go change already. You're wasting time."

Ten minutes later, we're both dressed in slacks and a soft long sleeve shirt. I wondered where we were heading since Johanna also supplied us with socks and hiking boots. The outfit was complete with a light jacket. I laughed at Delly's outfit since Johanna knew her well enough to dress her with a light pink shirt while mine was dark green.

When we walked down the stairs the guys were already there. Peeta wore the same color shirt and dark slacks as me. I would have laughed my head off if Bron wore pink to match Delly but instead he wore dark brown. On the floor besides the door were two medium size backpacks.

"We're going hiking?" I asked. "At this hour?"

"Yup," Peeta said with a big smile on his face. "Unless you're too tired?" His face fell. I didn't want to disappoint him.

"No, I don't mind but what about Delly and Bron?" I inquired. "You two up for a hike at this hour?"

"I'm game," Bron said. "Besides, I'm supposed to shadow Peet, remember? Where he goes, I go. And this is part three of your date."

"So that's why you asked me to take the day off," Delly wondered. "Isn't Johanna coming?

"Sorry, I have other plans for the rest of the evening," she stated. "Besides, I don't have a sleeping buddy."

"We're camping out in the woods," Delly asked. "Is it safe?" I wondered myself. Memories flashed in my mind the last time we camped outside. Peeta was attacked by a wild dog and suffered a full blown episode. It was a night I'd never forget.

"Don't worry about that," Bron interjected. "Peet and I will explain when we get there."

"How far are we going?" I asked Peeta. I'm confident that he can keep us safe if he was willing to camp out for our date.

"About an hour's walk," he stated.

"Well then let's get going," I said as I grabbed Peeta's hand. He laughed as he picked up the backpack. I envisioned he and I under the stars in one sleeping bag. Not a bad way to end our first date. Hopefully we won't run into any trouble. I kept my fingers crossed.

"See you in the morning, Johanna," Peeta said as he turned to walk out the door but at the last minute, he turned around and hugged Johanna. "Thanks for all your help."

"Go already," she said. "I'll see you tomorrow." She kissed his cheek.

Once outside the door, I heard Johanna locked and alarmed the door. The hum from the system reverberated in the air. Delly and Bron were already on the road waiting for us. Peeta had his hand extended to me. I grabbed his hand tight. "You ready to go to the last part of our date?

"I'd follow you anywhere, Peeta," I confessed. He lifted my hand and kissed my fingers as we walked into the dark woods.

_**AN: Thank you for reading chapter. The next update will be up soon, I hope. Any guesses to where Peeta will be taking Katniss? Lol Have a great weekend.**_


	24. Chapter 24 - Read All Warning Signs

Chapter 24 Read All Warning Signs

_AN: Many thanks to my reviewers and for those who favored or alerted my story. Please note that this chapters is rated M and I'm not talking about the swearing. If you're offended, you've been warned and enter at your own risk. If you find any mistakes please excuse me I wanted to get this out to you guys before the weekend._

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**Johanna POV –**

Katniss' house felt cold and eerie. Suffice it to say that I shouldn't at all feel comfortable in her home. But then again I have never felt at ease in anyone's home even my own back in District 7. All Victor's homes were built and designed by the Capitol. The only place that I ever felt close to feeling home was Peeta's. He had given me liberty to decorate and design his abode at my whim. It was as if I had etched a piece of myself with every furnishing and accessories I placed in each room. I loved being Delly and Peeta's roommate. I missed our early morning ritual. Her singing in the shower while Peeta prepared breakfast. It was as close to having a family I have ever experienced since the loss of my own. Speaking of Peeta and Delly, I glanced at the large monitor in front of me. I sat back and took a sip of wine and watched as the dots moved on the screen.

On the monitor were four dots representing Peeta, Katniss, Delly and Bron as they traversed further into the woods. Haymitch's brilliant idea of inserting a GPS device in our medallions helped to ease all of our minds. We knew where everyone was and can monitor their activity. Three signals appeared in the screen also representing Haymitch, Effie and myself.

"Hey, how's their progress?" Haymitch asked as he walked into the room and sat on a sofa chair.

"What are you doing up?" I wondered. "I thought you were keeping Ms. Winter's Solstice company." I referred to his favorite choice of poison. A very expensive bottle of liquor that was known to a few and available only to the privileged.

"You know I'm trying to stay dry, right?" he answered back as he wrung his hands in front of him. He was probably itching for a glass. "Besides, I promised myself to stay clean for Peeta and Katniss' sake. We all need to keep a clear head these days." He had to remind of me Peeta's situation. I had hope with Peeta, Katniss, Delly and Bron out of the house it would allow me a night on my own with no worries or stress. I love them dearly but after years of being alone and fending for myself sometimes I sought solitude every once in a while. It's a habit hard to break.

"Where Ms. Trinket?" he sneered. Effie's snore can be heard from upstairs. "No need to answer since I know that sound from anywhere," he answered himself. "So where are they?" he pointed to the screen.

"They're about ten minutes away from the campsite," I informed him. "I'm really glad that Beetee was able to set up the surveillance equipment so fast. I don't think Peeta would have taken the chance of leaving the area let alone camping out for the night as part of his plans for the date."

"He had his reasons" Haymitch muttered more to himself. "It's still risky to be out in open and far away from civilization. At least I know that they can take care of themselves. It's not like they didn't go unprepared just in case."

"I don't' blame him for wanting some privacy with Katniss on his date," I said. "I'm really surprised that he didn't fight Bron off his shadow detail."

"Well, until we resolve his stalking issue, Bron will be with him 24/7 if needed," he state. "And Peeta can't argue his way out of it. His safety comes first."

"Yeah, I don't think Katniss will ever forgive us, if anything happened to him," I admitted. A scared and lost Katniss is pathetic, but an angry and scared Katniss is a person to be feared. She acted first before thinking about the consequences. I'd hate to think how Katniss would act if Peeta died. Haymitch appeared uneasy and distracted as his knee twitched up and down.

"Hey, what's got your knickers in a twist?" I inquired. "You've been jumpy and…acting, I don't know weird since got here."

"I couldn't stand being in the house any longer. Peeta said something to me this morning and I can't get it out of my head," he confessed. 'I need to talk to you since you know his state of mind more than anyone else."

"Well, he was my torture buddy," I snickered at him. I knew every abuse and every tortured that he endured. Snow made sure I was present when he ordered all of Peeta's injuries and mental torture, as he was present for all of mine. The images would forever be imprinted in our minds.

"He made a request this morning that really disturbed and scared me," he explained. "You know that in a few days he's going to have his session with Dr. Aurelius." I nodded in head. "He's really scared, Johanna. Hell, I'm scared of finding out what happened to him."

"I know that since he's came back he's been off," I admitted. "But under the circumstances, we should expect it. Something did happen to him that he's blocked it off. He doesn't want to remember."

"That's what I'm afraid of." Haymitch laid his head back on the recliner. "But I really think it scared Peeta big time. He asked me to…do the unthinkable."

"To do what Haymitch?" I asked but was afraid to know the answer.

"If he hurts anyone especially Katniss…he wants me to…kill him," he said in a whisper. Did he say what I heard him say?

"What did you say?" I needed clarification.

"He wants me to end his life," Haymitch repeated. I wasn't shocked or horrified. After months of torture and abuse, we wanted the pain and our suffering to go away. We didn't care anymore since we realized that the rebels had abandoned and forgotten us. He and I fought for as long as we could until he was hijacked and then I knew it was over for all of us. He was all I had left in this world. I lost hope when I lost Peeta.

"You're not surprised," Haymitch accused. "He wants me to kill him and you're not remotely concerned or angry at him for asking me." He had a disgusted look on his face and that made me react.

"You don't get it," I sneered at him. "After what we've been through, you thought that a few months with Aurelius cured us. What happened to us is imprinted in our minds and our body. We hear and see things that trigger images and memories we will never forget. We have scars that are not seen. We got used to not eating and sleeping for hours on end. When they did let us sleep, we've slept in our own pool of blood while our tormentors had dinner. They took pleasure in our pain and suffering. What they did to us was evil and inhumane. You don't get over it by covering it with a field dressing. Our recovery will take time, patience and understanding. It won't happen overnight. If it ever happens at all, it would be a miracle. So please excuse him for being unstable at times and he say things that are scary and awkward."

"I know that," Haymitch scoffed.

"Do you, do you really know?" I spat at him.

"Why do you think I drank myself to death?" He argued back. Of course, he knew. No one that won the games came back the same. And after the games, your life was changed forever. But being tortured and abused for months was a different matter all together. Peeta survived after being hijacked, he's alive and living amongst the population. He was slowly returning to himself with the help of those who care and love him.

"Then you shouldn't be surprised or be angry at him," I advised. "I don't expect you to accept it or agree and help him out. As a matter of fact, I expected you to deny him that."

"I want to help him and I don't know how," he screamed. He was scared and frustrated with Peeta. We all are, but he cannot be cured with the snap of our fingers. Time is all we have and with the help of people who love and care about us, it's all that we have.

"Tell me, Haymitch," I asked. "Why did you really give up drinking after decades of drowning yourself with alcohol?"

He stared at him for a few seconds. "Because I want to be better for Peeta."

"That's bullshit and you know it," I exploded.

"It's the truth," he admitted. "I've seen what he's been through and he still is the same boy I met before the games. He may have been altered for a while but he came back. I see it in his eyes. I can see him fight everyday, every hour trying to be strong and not succumb to alcohol or drugs." I'm glad that he too acknowledged the progress Peeta made.

"So why do you think he asked you to kill him if something goes wrong during his session with Aurelius/" I questioned him. Haymitch is not stupid, he knows Peeta. After years being a mentor, you knew how to read people and judge their character.

"He's scared that he'll be a mutt again," he sighed. "He's afraid that Peeta Mellark, the baker from District 12, will disappear forever when he finds out what happened to him during his abduction. But I know he's stronger than that. He also has Katniss by his side. I would have thought that was enough for him."

"We all have to be by his side during the session," I said. "He has to know and accept that we will be there for him, to support him. That he is not alone and won't be abandoned again when things get difficult or go awry."

He looked guilty and ashamed as I reminded him of their decision to leave us behind as they waited months to rescue us. By the time they had decided to retrieve us, the damaged had been done. "So you think he's testing me. He's asking me a favor and he waits to see what I'll do. So I say yes and then not kill him it will only verify that I can't keep a promise." It was a twisted and unfair for Peeta to test him but I don't blame him. Haymitch failed before and he felt that he would fail him again. He just has to prove Peeta wrong.

"I'm just glad that Katniss finally got of her ass and chased after him," Haymitch smirked. "I don't think that Peeta would have survived all these months without her." I agreed with him.

"I hope that she has the fortitude and strength to stand by him in the coming weeks," I wondered. Hopefully, tonight Peeta will finally open his heart to her and that she will accept him for who he is today. "The next time Peeta asks you for a favor, just be honest with him. Say yes or no and stick by your decision without having some hidden agenda. That's all he's asking."

He nodded his head. "I'm so happy that they're finally together."

"You, me, Delly and Effie agree with you," I snickered. "With the way Katniss is with Peeta, let just say that I wouldn't be surprised that she jumps him this evening." And that is why I packed a couple of condoms in Peeta's backpack. I cackled to myself.

"I just pray that she's gentle with him," Haymitch joked.

* * *

**Katniss POV –**

Forty-five minutes later, we're still treading in the woods with the moon as our only source of light. Bron and Delly are up ahead of us as Peeta continued to hold my hand throughout our trek and holding a flashlight with his other hand. He stumbled upon occasion unsure of his footing.

"Maybe this isn't a good time to be traipsing in the woods," I said as I pulled him close. "How do you know where were going since it's so dark?"

"Bron is wearing special night glasses to lead us to the campsite we set up this afternoon," he explained. "As long as we have him in our line of sight, we shouldn't get lost or separated. He marked the tress with special infra-red paint to help him lead us to our destination."

"I can't tell where were at," I admitted. "Can you at least give me an idea where were going. I know the woods like the back of my hand. Maybe I can help us get there."

"I want to take you to my favorite spot," he said. "I found it months before the Quarter Quell by accident." I hated the idea that he wandered in the woods on is own with no one to accompany him. I realized even though he had family, he was alone for a majority of his short life. His brothers worked the bakery with absent father and a witch for a mother. Peeta never talked about his family. It didn't sound like they were close. At least I had Prim. She was everything to me.

"I know I would like anywhere you'd take me, Peeta," I added, "Surely, we could have gone in the morning."

"I need to do this," he said. "It's important to me that we do this now then later."

"Okay," I relented. I couldn't deny him this if it was important to him. He was taking me someplace that meant something to him; like how the meadow meant something to me.

"We're almost there, Peet," Bron stated. He yelled back at us. He held Delly hands while he clutched a rifle in the other. I wished I brought my bow and arrow, but I didn't think it was a good idea to bring it in the last part of our date. This moonlight walk would have been romantic if it wasn't for Delly and Bron carrying a gun ahead of us.

As we ascended the hillside, I realized that he took us to the spot where he left the letters in the parachute. I held me tongue not wanting to reveal that we had already discovered the place.

"It's alright, Katniss," Peeta guessed. "Bron told me this afternoon that you found this place when you went looking for me."

"I didn't want to you to feel disappointed," I admitted. "I know that you wanted to surprise me."

"It doesn't matter that you found it. I want to spend the night here with you," Peeta said. As we made our destination, I discovered that the guys had set up two small tents near the edge of the cliff.

"Is it safe here? I mean, we're out in open," I said with a bit of trepidation. Even if we are safer in numbers, his stalker could still get to Peeta and us.

"I thought of that so Haymitch made a suggestion," he explained. "Go ahead Bron. You have the glasses and I can't see where the switch is located." Before he could explain further, Bron walked to the edge of woods and pushed a button that sent a red light that sent a beam from one tree to the next until it enclosed our campsite. "We set up an surveillance / alarm system surrounding our area. It's the same system President Snow used to alarm and protect his house.

"How does it work?" Delly inquired.

"We attached a little box to each tree that sends a beam from one to the other like an invisible fence," Bron exclaimed. "The light would trigger if someone or something crosses the barrier."

"President Snow's system is a bit more complex and complicated," Bron said. "He also had a ceiling network incase someone dropped in from the sky to infiltrate his mansion."

"Ours is a lot simpler," Peeta included. "Beetee programmed the alarm to trigger when a body crosses the beams at a certain height, weight and species."

"Haymitch had one installed around the Victor's Village while we were out for most of the day," Bron added. "That's part of the reason why he sent Johanna to District 13." That explained Johanna's disappearance right after Peeta's abduction. But I still felt there's something he's not telling us.

"So if a wild dog or bear crosses the beam, it would be triggered and we get a really loud and obnoxious alarm to let us know that it breached the perimeter," Peeta added. "I wouldn't have us out here if I didn't believe we would be safe."

"I'm not worried about that," I said. I really am happy to be here with him. And Peeta wanted to spend it with me in woods, alone in our tent and a sleeping bag. What more could I ask for?

"So what now," Delly asked.

"Well, before we settle for the night, I need to get a hold of Johanna," Peeta said. "We have to check in and let her know we're okay." He pulled out a device and started to punch buttons. He waited for a few seconds then a bleep sounded. "There we're set."

Peeta then moved over to the tent and removed a blanket and placed it on the ground. "I hope it's not too cold for you. We bought thermal heating blankets in case it really gets chilly out here." No blankets necessary since I'm sharing a sleeping bag with him no question about that.

We sat around a small heating unit that served as a fire that emitted a low light source assimilating a fire pit. Peeta had his arm around my waist as I leaned against him. He felt warm and smelt of pine and chocolate. For the rest of the evening, we sat with our boyfriends cuddling in silence and comfort. It was the perfect end from a close to perfect date.

He whispered in my ear. "Next I want to take you here without those two." He pointed his head towards our friends who were in middle of a snog-fest. I'm jealousy but was relieved since I didn't want him kissing me with an audience even if it's Bron and Delly. The only time I've shown my true feelings was at the beach. We never talked about it. I don't know how to bring it up.

Thirty minutes later, Bron and Delly excused themselves for evening. Peeta and I are outside sitting on a blanket looking up at the sky. He still had his arm around me as I lay my head on his shoulder. I held on to his waist tight as I almost fell asleep in his arms.

"So did you have good time this evening?" he asked. His eyes twinkled with mirth and a smile on his lips.

"Dinner was perfect, with the exception of the crazy woman who attacked you," I reminded myself. I'm going to hunt that psycho down and threaten her with bodily harm. No one kisses Peeta but me. I turned my head and pressed my nose to his neck feeling his warm skin. "Dancing in the park, there are no words, Peeta. How I…what you've done in honor of my family and Prim's statue. I'm stunned."

"As long as you're happy," he said. "It's all I ever wanted to do is make you happy."

"I'm beyond happy," I sighed. I really have a wonderful, thoughtful and generous boyfriend. "But this, camping out here in the woods with you…I never would have expected it."

"Yeah?"

"You keep surprising me," I said. "And you know how I hate surprises." He chuckled as he pressed a kiss to the crown of my head. Speaking of crown, I better preserve it while I still can when we get back from our date. I'm comfortable and sleepy when I heard Delly low voice from their tent.

"Damnit Bron, I told you to keep your hands to yourself," Delly said trying to keep her voice down. "I'm sore and there is no way we're having sex with Peeta and Katniss within hearing distance."

"I'm sorry, Dells, you're just so hot baby," Bron commented. "Did they really shave off everything down there?"

"Yes, and you're not going to see it until I'm healed," she added.

"I can't wait to see it, but you're I forget that you're a screamer." He teased her as a whomping sound followed. "Shit watch you're elbow."

"I'm not loud, you jerk," she seethed. "Johanna makes fun of you not me for not your loud mouth."

"Right, whatever you say Dells," he cackled. "What the fuck are…oh shit, Delly. I thought you said…"

"Just because I'm sore doesn't mean you can't have a little fun," she teased him and giggled. "Here, I think you need this." I heard a muffled sound as Bron whimpered and moaned. He sounded like a cloth covered his mouth. "Guess who the screamer is now." Knowing Delly, she shoved a sock or shirt into his mouth to muffled him.

"Argh...ohmn fuchk," Bron moaned.

I tucked my face into Peeta's shirt as Bron moaned and gasped then scream his voice echoed in the air.

Delly giggled, "You owe me later."

Peeta tried to contain his laughter as his chest vibrated. Seconds later their tent was silent then Bron groaned. "You're an evil woman, Delly. Thank you baby."

"Well, I'm sleepy and tired," Delly stated. "Good night, Bron."

"Hmm…good night." I blushed in embarrassment or envy. A bit of both as the night grew silent.

"Well, that was…" Peeta commented.

"Awkward and embarrassing," I finished his sentence. "Don't' they realize that sounds echo and get loud at night?" We both held our laughter as Delly's light snore permeated the air. "I don't know how I'm going to get that sound out of my head now. I think I'm scarred for life."

"Which one Bron screaming or Delly snoring," I snickered.

"Both," he giggled. "Delly's like a sister to me and just knowing what they did…" He shivered. At this moment he was so beautiful and sweet. His hair was tousled, his eyes twinkled.

"Peeta," I said. I knew I needed to ask him and my courage was at the forefront. "I really had a great time. It was perfect but…"

"But," he looked scared and turned his head to hide his eyes.

"I've been waiting for you to kiss me all night." I shifted in his arms and placed a hand on his cheek to face me. "Don't you want to?"

"All my life," he confessed, "but I need to tell you something." He took my hand and placed it on his chest. His heart was beating so fast. I beat in cadence to my mine.

"Peeta, you can tell me anything. Don't you know that by now?"

"You know I had a crush on you since we were five." I nodded my head. "Growing up my brothers kept telling me that what I felt for you would change because there were a lot of other girls around….more accessible. They said that I would get over you eventually." I cringed at that thought. Where would I be without him now? "But they were wrong," he continued. "My feelings for you grew stronger each year even the year you changed." I knew which year he spoke about, the year my father died and my mother emotionally abandoned Prim and me. "It didn't' matter since you were still what I wanted. So when you volunteered, I thought my life was over. I wouldn't get the chance to tell you how I felt about you, but I was reaped too. So I thought I had nothing to lose but reveal my crush with you." He blushed. "I was going to die and I had to say something and I did, but you hated me for it. Resented me as a matter of fact." I tried to deny it, as I was about to argue with him. "Don't lie to me and tell me you didn't because after the games you ignored me until we were forced to be together in the Quarter Quell." Each word his spoke felt like a stab into my heart. I couldn't stop him because it was true. There was no point in denying it.

He turned his head and looked at Bron and Delly's tent. Their quiet snores filled the air and were in tandem to each other. "All our interaction, the kisses we shared, they weren't real, Katniss. I know all that and I'm not trying to make you feel bad," he proclaimed. "I'm just trying to tell you why I've been hesitant in doing more with you. I think the only time that it was real was at the beach during the Quarter Quell, but then you know what happened after that." All hell broke lose and I lost him to Snow and his hijacking.

"Before the Quarter Quell, all the kisses we shared; they didn't mean anything," he added. "I was always the one who initiated them. I was really upset with you for suggesting getting engaged because I knew it meant nothing to you. But it meant something to me."

"I know, Peeta, I know," I acknowledged.

"I couldn't understand how you could willingly throw your life away like that to someone you didn't want or love."

"I had to. I didn't have a choice," I reasoned.

"You could have told me that Snow threatened you. But it made realize that you didn't trust me. After everything we've been through, you still didn't trust me. That hurt the most."

"I'm sorry Peeta." It was all I could say for nothing could justify what I did to him, to us. "What can I do to make it up to you?"

"It's done and over with. I want to start over."

"Me, too," I said. Will he let me?

"Right now, all I want to do is kiss you and make you happy." He stared at him quivering lips. "I know that I'm making you sad. I'm want to kiss you so badly but…"

"What!" I cried.

"Everything is different now. I'm different and I'm scare to…I'm afraid that once I kiss you and you kiss me back. I'm going to wake up from his wonderful dream and find myself back in my white cell room as I try to drown Johanna's screams from my head." I sobbed and pried my hands from Peeta's and wrapped them around my waist. "I fantasized about kissing and making love to you for so long that I got used to waking up and finding myself alone in my room. Are you real, Katniss? When I finally kiss you and you kiss me back will I find you still there?"

"Yes, I'm real, Peeta," I said as I grabbed his hand and placed it on my heart that was beating so fast. "Kiss me and find out how real I am."

He leaned over and placed his forehead against mine as he licked his lips. His breathe harsh and hot, skimming on my cold face. He tilted his head and he kissed me, soft and tentative at first. I could no longer contain my patience as I pressed my lips firmer tasting mint on his lips. I don't know how long or when but his lips opened to probe his tongue on my upper lip. I think I died that moment as I opened my own to accept him. His tongue slid and tangled with mine. He stopped and I whined from his absence as he breathed hard and fast. "You're still here."

"Peeta," I whispered.

"Real," he choked.

"Yes, real," I answered as he grabbed my face and smashed his lips to mine forcing my mouth open. I wanted to absorb every part of him I could reach so I grabbed his head.

He pulled back. "Stop, don't touch me," he cried as his eye looked wild and scared. He pushed me back.

"I'm sorry," I cringed as he placed his hand behind him on the ground. I don't know what I did wrong.

"I'm sorry." He voiced as his words choked him. His lips quivered as he closed his eyes. "I had a flash of something when you grabbed me. I didn't like you touching me like that. I'm sorry."

"No don't apologize," I said as inched closer to him. "I triggered something, didn't I?"

"Yes, no. I don't know," he answered. "I got scared and really mad for a second when you grabbed like that. Like the way, the woman kissed me this evening." I forgot about that bitch. "When she bit me it hurt and all I wanted to do was hit her back so I pushed her hard. I had to get her away from me. I didn't meant to react like that when you grabbed me. It scared me."

"Don't be afraid of me," I said as I took his hand.

"I'm not afraid of you, Katniss," he admitted. "I'm sorry."

"For what, it was me that upset you," I cried.

"No I seem to be the one that ruins things for us," he said. "I ruin everything."

"You didn't," I sobbed in relief. I was afraid that he was going to stop being with me. "As a matter of fact, that was pretty incredible and hot when you finally kissed me." He blushed as his face turned pink. The light from the heating unit only accentuated the tinge of pink on his face. "So you like it?"

"Katniss, I wanted to kiss you like that for most of my life," he admitted. "But I think we need to slow down." Huh, what slow down! He's got to be kidding me. "There something I need to confess, something that happened to during…my time at the Capitol." Oh god, do I really need to know? I have to if I want to stay clear away from things that would trigger him.

"I don't want to tell you everything," he said. "You need to understand something. But during my time there…I was cuffed and tied to a chair for most of the day. People would come into my room and…"

"Peeta, you don't' have to do this if it's too hard for you," I said.

"No I need you to know so you can understand why…I can't. I haven't been able to let me strangers or people touch me." I swallowed the bile that rose from my throat threatening to induce vomiting. "People would come into my room and stare me like some prized game or animal. I was naked and tied to a chair when people would come up to me and touch me. Touch me in places that…sometimes they would kiss me when I didn't want them to." He was molested and groped at. Did they rape you, Peeta? I couldn't ask, could I? He would have to tell me on his own. He spoke about people, which meant men as well as women. But I had to know, ignorance is bliss but the images and my imagination of his abuse was killing me.

"Did they…" I'm too shocked and embarrassed for him to continue.

"No, Snow wouldn't let them touch me that way," he sighed in relief but tense. "Snow was saving me for something special. He said that I'm his greatest prize, better than Finnick and Gloss. He said that when he got what he wanted he would…sell me to highest bidder. He said…I would keep him wealthy for a long time. He had already started a bid."

The ache in my chest intensified. I wanted to reach out and hold but held myself at bay and let him continue.

"This went on for weeks. It stopped when I started to have bruises and laceration on my face and body. I guess I wasn't attractive anymore."

That is why he reacted violently when that woman kissed him earlier this evening. What about me? Will he always push me away if we get carried away? "But with you," he read my mind, "I want to kiss you and hold you all the time, but there's a disconnect between my mind and my body. I want you, I want so bad but I'm afraid that I'll…"

"I want you too," I said. "You won't hurt me. You haven't since you got back from the Capitol. Please don't be afraid of me."

"Sometimes I have so many things running through my head. I don't know if they are real or the things that was used to alter my memories. Things or memories between us."

"Just tell me and I'll tell you if they are real or not," I suggested.

"I need you to know. If I'm a little slow or hesitant about…certain things, it's isn't because I don't want you because I do."

"So we'll take it slow like you said," I agreed. Slow was better than not giving us a chance. If he decided to be just friends, I would have taken the time needed to work my way back into having more than friendship between us. If he waited eleven years, I could wait a lifetime.

"If you lose patience and don't want to be with me anymore, I understand. I don't know how long or if I ever will be able to…stop reacting violently to being touched. We need to talk about it first before we do something more intimate." So he does want intimacy with me. "I just don't ever want to hurt you whether it's intentional or not."

"Okay," I said as I smiled at him.

"Okay?'" he voiced with a tinge of trepidation and relief. "You still want me?"

"More than ever." I placed a hand in front of his face and lightly touched his cheek. His eyes brimmed with tears. "Kiss me again." I teased him. "And with tongue, please." He looked at me, blinking his eyes as I smiled back.

"So demanding," he teased back.

"Hey," I was affronted but smiled as he inched his head forward, his lips a mere distance between us. He thumbed my swollen lips rubbing my spit like a balm. His eyes stared into mine like dark blue crystals that memorized me, made me ache with want for something I never experienced before. Lust.

"And so sexy," he whispered as I gasped. I've never felt beautiful before I met him. I lacked the feminine wiles to seduce Peeta but he made it so easy for me to feel like a woman who had needs and desires.

He pressed his lips against me again. His tongue surveyed my lips with little licks and nips, teasing me. Then he claimed the inner working of my mouth, grazing my teeth and dominating my inexperienced tongue. I took a deep breath, which he stole; from me inhaling deep as his tongue forced my mouth wide open. I swallowed his tongue sucking it into my mouth causing me to groan loud. Very loud. Then very, very loud as he took turn swallowing mine into his mouth. He released me very quickly that saliva trailed between us. I breathed hard and fast, looking into his eyes. They are dazed and sleepy and he's very happy. I grabbed his shoulders wanting him to lie on top of me but he resisted. I needed to feel him, all of him. I didn't know where I am and forgot that Delly and Bron are a short distance from us. I just want him. To feel his length tucked between my legs. To satisfy an ache and need that only he has awakened in me.

"No," he mumbled soft and low I didn't think I heard him. Disappointment registered on my face. I had to remember that he wasn't rejecting me but slowing us down. "Tent. Inside, now." He commanded as he stood up and clutched my hands to help me stand upright. My legs felt wobbly as cool air hit the moisture that gathered between my legs. I hissed from embarrassment and excitement. I would do as he says, letting him take lead. Even if the pace is killing me.

As we reached the tent he pulled at my hand, "Why don't you go first, get ready for bed," he whispered. "I'll give you a few minutes to get change."

"I um.." I stuttered as I felt a pressure between my legs.

"What's wrong," he said as his face dropped thinking that I changed my mind about him.

"I need to use the restroom," I said in complete embarrassment. Well, that definitely took the romance out of the situation. Peeta crawled into the tent as I heard him turn on a flashlight and rummaged through his backpack.

"I had Johanna pack you some clothes. I hope you don't mind. You can change once you're finished," he instructed as he handed me a survival pack. The box held toiletries such toiler paper, toothbrush, paste and wipes. It also included a trash bag and a mini spade. I walked a few feet away from our campsite and care of my business as fast as I could. When I returned, Peeta stood staring into the sky with hands in his pants pockets. He looked sad and desolate.

"We should turn in for the night," he said as he continued to stare in the dark sky. "It's been a long day."

"I'm sorry, Peeta," I said. "Guess I ruined the mood." When he turned to me, he extended his hand.

"Nothing was ruined, okay? Now go and change I'll be there in a few minutes." What could have possibly happened between my pee break and the last 10 minutes? He remained sad and wistful. I mean I really did need to pee.

I walked past him feeling disappointed and despondent when he grabbed me by the waist and kissed me hard, crushing our lips together. He held me tight with one hand in the back of my neck and the other around my waist. His tongue once again worked magic as he pried my lips apart. We stood there making out for who knows how long as we pulled apart breathing hard and our hearts beating fast. "Take me to bed."

I pulled his hand and led him inside the tent. The roof was low that we had to kneel at the entrance. Once inside, there was a small lantern in the corner that illuminated the tent. We both took our shirts off leaving me with a tank top and him with an undershirt. I reached over to remove his belt but he stopped my hands at I touched the buckle.

"Don't," he gasped.

"Sorry," I whispered.

"I'm not ready for…"

"It's okay, we're going slow as slow as you want," I reminded him as myself. I kissed him on the lips, short and sweet. He sighed as he held me in his arms. We broke apart.

"Thank you," he mumbled as he took my hands. "Can I..?" He stopped and stared at the top of my pants.

"Yes," I said so fast that I blushed at my eagerness. I was his to command. He unbuttoned my pants and lowered the zipper, as his eyes never left my face. His gentle touch sent jolts throughout my body as his knuckles grazed my belly. I felt goose bumps all over me from neck to feet. Then I realized he his hands were shaking. "You're shaking."

"I'm nervous, I wanted to do this for so long," he said as he placed both hands on my hips underneath my tank top. His hands felt warm and soft.

"Me, too. I'm nervous and happy," I admitted. He kissed me when I pulled him towards me wrapping my arms around neck. I grabbed onto him as he leaned over so I'm on my back. He stopped as he trailed his hands back to my hips and pulled on my pants, careful to not dislodge my panties. I blushed in embarrassment when I realized they're only cotton and black. Not sexy or feminine. I wished I brought the lingerie then nixed the idea since I wouldn't be too uncomfortable. I lifted my butt and took he off the rest of my pants. Peeta's stared at my legs for a few seconds then skimmed his hands on my upper thighs.

"You're so soft," he said with such reverence. Goose bumps pebbled my skin as he continued to brush his hands down my legs from thighs to calves. I wanted to hide, the scar on my legs were still pink and rough. He shut his eyes that I was afraid he was suffering an episode or repulsed by them. "You're so beautiful." I sobbed even with my scars he still thinks I'm beautiful. He's beautiful too.

"Peeta, I'm getting cold," I said interrupting him.

"Then let me warm you up," he said as he laid me down and kissed me straddling my right leg between his. It wasn't fair that he still had a shirt on and I'm half naked with only my tank top and panties.

"Off, please," I requested as he sat up and removed his undershirt. The shirt fell behind him as he pressed his lips onto mine and trailed them over my eyes and cheeks as if he's memorizing every inch of my skin. After a couple of minutes of kissing he skimmed his mouth down my throat. Leaving little licks, nipping and sucking my skin as he traveled south to the middle of breastbone and back up to my neck. It's pure bliss and agony at the same time as the ache between my legs magnified. I squeezed them together to create friction. I'm so lost with the sensation that I whimpered when he stopped and laid his head between my shoulders and neck. He's trembling.

"Peeta, what's wrong" I said.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he sobbed as he held me. I realized that he was crying over my neck. "I almost killed you. You would have been dead if…stopped me from killing…please forgive me."

"I'm here and alive with you, Peeta," I comforted him as I placed a hand over my heart. "Feel me, there's nothing to forgive."

"I almost killed you," he cried as tears fell from his eyes. "I see it in my head over and over and it guts me. My hands around your neck and the look on your face haunted me. I can't get it out of my mind."

"It wasn't you," I reaffirmed.

"I'm afraid that one day I will kill you…when I have an episode." He sat up on his legs, kneeling with arms around himself.

"You won't," I tried to assure him.

"How can you be so sure when I'm not," he admitted. He turned his face in shame and guilt. He looked like a little boy who had lost everything.

I took his arms and placed his hands around my waist. "Look at me. Please, Peeta, look at me." His breathing was labored and hands still shook. "What do you feel when you touch me?"

"Happy and scared."

"Me too. I'm so happy whenever you touch me; whenever you're near me," I said. "What do you see when you look at me?" He turned his head avoiding my eyes. "Tell me?

"You're so beautiful. You're the girl who stole my heart when I was five. But you're not real."

"I'm real and here with you," I said. "And alive because of you. Do you trust me?"

He opened his mouth but shut it just as fast. It stung that he hesitated. "I trust you with my life." But not his heart, the heart that I broke over and over with my avoidance and denial. But most of all I broke his trust and faith in me despite that fact that he still wants me. I'm angry with myself for being blind for so long.

"I trust you, Peeta," I said with much conviction and determination. "You have all of me, my mind, body and soul. Yours to do with. My heart is yours to take and hold in your hands." My words revealed what was in my heart. Three words unspoken but to be declared when he is ready to hear them. He's not ready.

Before I can reach out to hold him, I'm on my back with his mouth taking possession of my breath, my tongue. Pressing me on the sleeping bag with his chest on top of mine. The weight makes me delirious as my tank top rubbed on my hardened nipples. Someone moaned I think it was me, as I felt him on my lower belly. He's not hard but his firm length sent shivers all over my body knowing that our clothes are the only things between us. I'm drowning and flying at the same time as he rubbed his leg between my center, and he created the friction I needed.

"Peeta, I want…" I sobbed with need.

"What, baby? Tell me."

"I need…you," I cried out as the pressure between my legs increased.

"You have me, always," he said with such tenderness that tears formed in my eyes. He kissed me long and deep as he continued to rub me. I held on to his neck, his shoulders and his arms not knowing what to grab onto, as my hands felt restless. My eyes were closed as I concentrated in the sensation he instilled in me. I want more but didn't want to pressure him. I wanted him to feel as good as felt.

"Please, I want…" I begged as I gasped from lack of air and frustration.

"What do you need, baby."

"I don't know. Something. More…" I said with a frustrated groan for words escaped me.

"Okay," he added as his hand stole under my tank palming my breast. I gasped as his cold fingers pinched my hard nipple.

"Oh, shit," I screeched. He stopped and pulled his hand away. "Wait…" I wanted him to continue.

"I'm sorry," he said embarrassed. "I shouldn't have…"

I sat up and took off my tank top and shivered as the cold air hit my warm skin. "Do that again." He stared at my bare chest for a few seconds. "I know they're too small." I went to cover my breasts, as I felt vulnerable and exposed. He ignored me as he reached out and palmed both breasts in his hands making me hiss with desire as moisture seeped between my legs. He looked at my chest ignoring the long scars and burns that mottled my skin. He skimmed his hands from breasts to navel. I kept still but ached with need and desire. I moaned when his hands returned and palmed both breasts as his thumbs grazed each nipple making them hard and erect. "Oh, fuck."

"Perfect." He took both my hands, pushed me back and trapped them over my head not letting me touch him. I was blinded when he continued to kiss me as his other hand took turns tweaking and teasing my aching buds never neglecting its twin. My lips fought to kiss and breath against his.

He groaned when I bit his lower hoping to drive away the horrible memory and touch from the woman who had assaulted him earlier. It worked as his pace and kisses got manic and demanding. His leg hit a nerve causing me to whimper.

With his mouth on mine, his hand continued to massage my nipples. The constant rhythm of his leg rubbed my wet center as I screamed into his mouth to muffle the shout that escaped me. My center burned and my nipples ached from his touch. His lips left me as I gasped for air and my chest heaved from my orgasm. I laid there with him still on top of me as he peppered me with kisses on my eyes, cheeks and nose.

"That was…wow," I panted in his ear.

"Did you?" he asked with a blush on his face. He was adorable and sexy with his lips swollen and his hair tousled, and a skewed.

"That was amazing," I sighed in his mouth as I sought to kiss him some more. "I never felt anything like that before." He lifted himself causing me to pout. "Where you going?"

He lay on his back so I followed him tucking myself between his chest and shoulder as he wrapped an arm around me. With my head on his chest, my breasts were pressed onto his side. I traced small circles on his breastbone over his tattoo. He made me cum and we didn't even have sex. I'm sweaty, sticky and I never felt so happy and satisfied. I was sated and pliant as I looked forward to sex if this is a prelude to how he made me feel with only his hands and mouth. I'm addicted.

"Peeta," I sighed.

"Hmm…" he mumbled as he kissed the top of my head.

"You didn't…do you want me to…" I'm uncertain and inexperienced to ask what he needed from me. I don't want to push or pressure him into something he's not prepared for. I'm ecstatic that we have reached this point in our relationship but it seemed too one sided. What does he get out of it?

"Katniss, it's okay. This is all I need for now."

I pouted. "It's doesn't see fair that you get to…you know," I blushed. He just pleasured me and I still can't talk about what we had done.

"What we did was enough for me," he explained as he laid me on my back looking down on me. "Will it be enough for you is the question you should ask yourself?"

"Peeta, I want to be with you in any capacity," I said as I placed a hand on his cheek. "Just as along as we're moving forward together. There's still so much for us to talk about and settle but if you're by my side, I don't care for anything else but what we have."

"Just so you know, that I do want you, Katniss. But there will be times when I'm going to be uncertain or mixed up with my thoughts and feelings. I'm not the same person you remembered just like you're the same person who returned from District 13. We all changed whether we wanted to or not." He laid his head on my shoulder as I wrapped an arm around him. He felt light and fragile. His hair smelled on pine from being exposed in the woods. I'm delirious and horny having him lie on top of me with his breath tickling my nipple. "We've been through a lot. Let's focus on now and what we have."

"I'd like that," I said as I played with his hair on the back of head. We stayed closed together for a few minutes. At night when we go to bed together, we wordlessly tucked into our usual position, I would lie on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around me. It was our normal sleeping position since the Victory Tour. He never asked or complained when I needed him for comfort never asking or offering comfort in return. In the morning, it is I who would sneak away before he awakened. But since coming back from the war as we started sleeping together, it was Peeta who crept out of bed before I did. I hated it when he left me alone in bed. It was more than I deserved for my callous disregard of his feelings. It was probably what he expected from me to continue to our old pattern of my denial and selfishness. Even at present, he never slept before me always making sure that I slept first to watch over me from my nightmares.

I'm sleepy and tired as he continued to rest on my shoulder. "Thank you for the best date ever," I said as I kissed the top of his head. He remained quiet when I realized that he had fallen asleep. I pulled on the rest of the sleeping bag to cover us from the cold air. I'm cold but too comfortable to dislodge sleeping, half-naked Peeta off my chest. My arms wrapped around him tight as I'm only wearing my panties. This was not how I thought the night would end. It was more that I expected or anticipated. With Peeta still sleeping, I whispered in his ear, "Good night, honey. I love you." I sighed and closed my eyes. There were the last thoughts that echoed in my head as I fell asleep.

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_**AN: Thank you for reading this chapter. They finally made it here and it only took 24 chapters. Lol. Have a great weekend.**_


	25. Chapter 25 - Proceed With Caution

Chapter 25 – Proceed With Caution

_AN: To all those who left reviews [Trude, Tea4e, kamjam, LACR and guest] and favored my story, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Just an FYI as someone noted, the next couple of chapters will have Peeta facing his stalker and Katniss confronting her demons. It's going to be a long and difficult journey just yet. Thank you for hanging on. All mistakes are on me and the Hungry Games belong to Suzanne Collins._

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**Katniss POV – **

"This is not how I wanted to be awakened, Peeta," I whined as I slipped my arms through a long sleeve. I shouldn't complain since the night air did get a bit chilly. However, I was having the most peaceful sleep I had in a long time without nightmares when he woke me to help put a shirt on.

"Katniss, it's getting chilly and I don't think you would want to wake up half naked only wearing your panties. You'll get sick," he said as he eyed my erect nipples before it disappeared beneath my shirt. I envisioned waking up with his arms wrapped around me as I lay on top of his bare chest. Albeit preferably naked but it was not going to happen with my concerned and protective boyfriend. He had already worn a shirt to cover himself from the cold air. His hair was tousled as his eyes twinkled. I was too tired to pinch his cheeks, which were rosy red when I caught him staring at my chest. How can he blush and appeared shy after what he did for me? I sighed as I remembered the moment he brought me to orgasm missing the feeling of his mouth on mine as he pinched my nipples to hard pebbles. My breasts ached from his ministrations not from soreness but of longing. Peeta yawned realizing that a repeat was not going to happen anytime soon. He's exhausted and I can admit so am I.

"You should have warmed me up next time," I suggested as I lay down next to him and he followed suit stretching his arm out for me to lie upon. His eyes were leveled to mine as I placed a hand on his cheek.

"When you're half naked, the next time will be in my bed," he added. "As much as I like the idea were still outside in the elements and I don't want to get caught half naked in case something happens." Always so cautious and logical, it was one of the reasons why I love him. He's a contradiction between his cool logic and passionate personality. With a straight face he could talk me into an orgasm without the slightest touch from his skillful hands. My Boy with the Bread may be kind and gentle but underneath I detected a passionate and generous lover once we reached that next step. All those years of kneading bread helped him developed strong fingers and forearms. I shivered from the thought of him manipulating my body to his own bidding.

"Spoilsport," I teased as I rubbed my nose to his. "You're too logical for your own good. Most guys would have taken advantage. But you, no my Peeta is a gentleman." I brushed his lips with my thumb mesmerized as he closed his eyes for a moment then sighed.

A moment later, he opened his eyes and licked his lips. The gesture sent a tingle up and down my spine. "Get some sleep," he instructed. "It's still dark out." He lay on his back as I placed my head on my usual spot. I felt warm and comfortable. The last thought on my mind was that I looked forward to sleeping in a real bed half naked with him only wearing his boxer briefs.

My head spun as my blissful sleep was awakened by screams outside my tent. I turned to wake Peeta and find him not beside me. Panic settled upon me as I rose from my sleeping bag. Remembering ever the kind and thoughtful Peeta who woke me earlier this morning as he helped me into a long sleeve shirt and pants since the night air got chillier.

My throat tightened as the realization hit me that he was gone. I rushed out of the tent and found Bron and Delly at the edge of the cliff facing the still dark night with a flashlight in his hand.

"Just let him go," Bron seethed his anger as Delly held onto his arm. I gasped in horror as I watched a hooded figure holding Peeta hostage with his arm around his chest and a gun to his head.

"Peeta," I screamed. This could not be happening. How did he breach the perimeter without sounding off the alarm? I stepped closer as his stalker pressed the gun closer to his head smashing the muzzle to his temple.

"Move one step closer and I'll blow his head to off his neck," he said as he stepped closer to the cliff's edge. I stopped and placed my hands in front of me itching for my bow and arrow that I wished I had brought with me. My throat felt raw and ached with fear. I was scared and angry that this was happening. I failed Peeta. I didn't protect him.

"Why are you doing this?" I seethed in frustration.

"Let him go," Bron continued as he inched forward.

I was so focused that I had forgotten that Delly and Bron were beside me. "What did Peeta ever do to you?"

"Peeta? He didn't do anything to me," he cackled. "You think I doing this because of him?" He pressed the gun to his temple causing Peeta to wince in pain. His eyes never left mine. "I'm doing this because of you, Katniss."

"I don't understand, what I did ever do to you?" I cried. Peeta was being stalked because of me? All this was my fault.

"Of course, you don't understand," he scoffed. "What make you so deserving of his devotion and the love he felt for you? You Katniss Everdeen don't deserve him."

"Who the hell are you?" I shouted.

"He lost everything, his family, his home because of you," he continued. "He nearly died protecting you in the first arena and he lost a leg and what did you do? You used him, you used him to get home." I gasped in shock. It wasn't all true. I felt something for him; something I didn't realize was love but was too stubborn and scared to admit it. "For years he loved you and all you did was ignore him. Threw Gale in his face when he was rescued. Instead of standing behind him and helping with his recovery, you went to Gale for comfort. You abandoned him when he needed you the most." I cried and sobbed for I couldn't find any argument to refute him.

"I didn't know," I bawled into the air. "I was too scared to tell him that …"

"See you still can't say it, can you?" he argued. "He's about to die and you still can't admit that you love him. How does it feel Katniss, how does it feel to lose the one thing you love the most." I almost laughed at the absurdity of his question; I already lost the one thing I loved the most, Prim. But here I am about to lose Peeta too.

"What do I know about loss? I lost my sister," I yelled back. How dare he assumed I lost nothing during the rebellion. "She was everything to me!" My voice grew hoarse and ached from the memory of her presence.

"Yet, you learned nothing," he retorted. "You came back whimpering like a injured animal when someone else needed you. Someone who loved you, was tortured because of you and you went to Gale." The light in Peeta's eyes grew dim and sad. His words killing the both of us.

"I do…but I'm not going to admit it in front of you," I spouted with anger as I wiped my eyes from my tears that were blinding me. "When I tell him it'll be not with audience. What goes on between is us will not be rated, watched or approved by anyone but the two of us. He," I pointed to Peeta, "is the only one who will hear the words or know what I feel for him. I don't need you to tell me how or when I should tell him how I feel."

"Bullshit," he scoffed. "You're a coward. Tell him now when you still have the chance. Tell him before I blow his brains out in front you. Make his last moment count."

"Katniss, don't…" Peeta wheezed, his eyes sad and tearful. Could this be the last moment or chance I had to tell him what I haven't been able to say or admit to him. Delly and Bron stood behind me. She sniffed and wiped her eyes as her blue connected to grey, telling and encouraging me to finally tell Peeta what he waited for so long to hear from me. Bron's eyes were stern as it concentrated on Peeta's stalker. His knuckles white from clutching onto his rifle ready to aim and shot to kill.

"Peeta, I love you," I said as my voice shook. The words left me free and light from the truth I hid from him all these years. The feeling was freeing and liberating as I wondered why it took me so long to say it. My eyes brimmed with tears with joy and sadness. "I do…I love you so much. I love you."

"Katniss, please don't say it if you don't mean it. Not because of him," he replied as he smiled back, sad and wistful. He didn't believe me. I closed my eyes trying to suppress the pain that was lodged in my chest. Why would he believe me now?

"Peeta," I wailed. My eyes seared into his blue orbs hoping that he can see the truth in them. I'm not good with words. My mouth failed to connect with words that were buried in my head and heart.

"See, he doesn't believe you. I don't believe you," his stalker taunted me. "And why should he, you waited too long." He stepped back closer to the edge. "You really don't deserve him."

"Maybe I don't, but I love him. I never loved anyone the way I love him," I cried my eyes never leaving Peeta's. "Peeta, please believe me because it's true. I should have told you sooner."

"It's all right, Katniss," Peeta answered. "Don't pretend anymore. I know you care for me and that was enough. It's enough." My stomach dropped and my heart broke from his rejection of the love I felt for him. It was too late.

"Peeta, I'm not lying or pretending," I pleaded with him. "Please don't shut me out. I do love you, so much. Please forgive me, I love you." I was exhausted and felt helpless. I was losing him before I had a chance to be with him.

"Too late," his stalker stated. "Say goodbye, Katniss." He pulled the trigger and the gun rang into the night air echoing into the trees and foliage. I screamed as Peeta's bloody body fell into the ground.

I awoke with my chest heaving as I caught large gulps of air into my lungs. I sat up to turn to Peeta. Empty, he was not beside me. My eyes grew wide with fear as I experienced déjà vu from my nightmare. I ran out of the tent and searched the campsite. Peeta sat a few feet away from the tent with a blanket around his shoulders. "Peeta!" I screamed as I ran towards him barefoot. I ignored the cold ground and debris on my bare feet. He just turned his head as I barreled into him causing us to fall into the ground. "Peeta!" I cried again as I held him down sobbing.

"Katniss, what's wrong?" he asked as I continued to sob. I bawled all over his shirt as I'm tucked underneath his chin. His arms held me tight as I trembled on his heaving chest. "Katniss, did you have bad dream?"

"He killed you," I wailed as my arms tightened around his neck while I straddled him.

"I'm here, see?" he said as he took my hand and placed it on his chest. I lay on top of him listening to his heartbeat. He sat up and wrapped his arms around my waist rubbing his hand up and down my back. "Shh, it's all right, Katniss. You had a bad dream. I'm sorry I left you alone."

"I dreamt that I woke up and he got you. He had a gun to your head and he shot you," I stumbled with my words. I couldn't reveal the rest of the dream. "I can't lose you, I just can't. Now that I finally have you."

"I'm right here, Katniss," he said. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You're mine," I swore as I lay my head on his shoulder shifting my weight as I continued to straddle him.

"We're in this together," he comforted me. "We protect each other." He reminded me as I held onto him in a vise grip feeling his lean waist.

He gasped and chuckled. "Katniss, I need to breath," he whispered in my ear as I let him go to stare into his beautiful crystal blue eyes. I leaned over, placed both hands on his cheeks. I rubbed a thumb over his rosy lips. He reached over and placed a gentle and reverent kiss on my quivering lips. It was sweet but not what I needed or wanted. It wasn't enough so I leaned down and kissed him with such fervor taking his tongue into mine. I needed to feel him alive and breathing as our tongues tangled with each other. He stiffened for moment that I was afraid that he would pull away. He relaxed letting me melt into his embrace. His hands crept into my lower back underneath my shirt, warming me as they danced on my skin. For a minute or so I forgot to breath that I pulled my mouth away from his. My breath heavy as my lungs heaved. I wrapped my around his neck and leaned over to kiss him again when I heard a familiar sniffle and sigh over Peeta's shoulders.

Delly wiped her eyes as she spied us from her tent. I blushed as I realized that I was about to molest Peeta in front of her. I hid my face on his shoulder.

"Delly, stop watching them and get over here," Bron whispered. "Leave them alone."

"They're so beautiful together," she admitted with a tinge of melancholy in her voice.

"I love watching them together." She disappeared back into the tent.

"You're being creepy," he continued.

"They're my friends," she added.

"And it's still creepy," Bron stated.

"Is she watching?" Peeta asked as his hands continued to skim on my back. He was smiling with an amused expression on his face. Speechless, I nodded my head and sighed. He lifted me off and lay me sideway so I was sitting on his lap. He chuckled when I pouted since I was comfortable straddling him and wanted to continue kissing him with abandon. "Ignore her and watch the sunrise with me."

I turned my head and looked at the horizon. The sky was a beautiful mix of blue and orange hues. It was gorgeous against the green lush landscape that was spread before us. It reminded me of the time we spent on the roof.

"Is this why you're up?" I gestured towards the sun that was rising. He nodded his head.

I understood his desire and reason for taking me here. The area was breath taking and peaceful despite the fact that I can still hear the humming sound radiating from the surveillance equipment that surrounded us. "It's beautiful, Peeta," I said as I melted into his arms. "Thank you for taking me here. Thank you for the best date and night I ever had." He smiled so large his eyes crinkled.

"I had help," he said. "I couldn't have done all this without Effie, Johanna, Haymitch, Bron and Delly. Beetee too while we're at it."

"I'll thank them later," I sighed resting my head on to his. "And I'll thank you later, more properly with no audience." I suggested as I looked back at Delly's tent.

"No need, Katniss," he said. "I wanted this first date as much as you did. I wanted it to be memorable and perfect."

"It was that and more, it was beyond perfect, but next time, please don't leave the bed without waking me," I said. I knew I was being hypocritical since I was always the first to abandon him in the mornings. I swore to not run and hide from him anymore. "I was really scared when I woke up alone."

He turned his eyes and stared back at the sunrise. "Okay," he said. He looked pensive and sad. He looked disappointed. I felt selfish for asking him to not leave me when I didn't promise to abandon him in return.

"Hey," I said as I placed a hand on his chin forcing him to look at me. "I won't leave you anymore. I'm sorry that I did all those times you comforted me. It was selfish of me."

"It's okay," he said not convinced of my statement. It stung that he didn't believe me. So much hurt and damage I had caused by my ignorance and stubbornness.

"You know, I found this place accidentally," he mentioned diverting the strain that developed between us.

"I've been hunting for years and I never found this area before," I admitted. I was too busy hunting and setting traps to appreciate the beauty that surrounded me. The woods have always been a haven and a place where I cherished the memories it brought with my father. But to actually appreciate it's beauty and peacefulness, I ignored. Just like the people around me, shunning the kindness and comfort they could have provided me growing up. My own bias and resentment of the social classes colored and blinded me from accepting people into my life. I cringed as I thought of how my life would have ended up without Peeta. Without the reaping and the subsequent rebellion that changed my life forever.

"It was months after the first games," he confessed. "I was curious about the woods and what you and Gale hunted so I tried to follow you one day." I gasped in horror. "I stopped at the fence since I realized what a creepy stalker I was being." He chuckled at his own memory. "So one day I decided to go out on my own. I would travel a few hundred yards each day, memorizing landmarks because I didn't want to get lost." How very astute and a smart move on his part, but it still frightened me that he could have gotten lost and mostly hurt on his own without anyone to help him. "Each day for months I would take the same path, timing myself and marking a tree or rock."

"You shouldn't have been out here alone, Peeta," I said. "What would have happened if you got hurt or lost?"

"I asked Haymitch to get me a compass," he admitted. "I even drew areas to memorize like a map." I would love to see his drawings but realized that it probably was destroyed when his house burned down a couple weeks ago.

"Still, it took me years with my father and time to find my way around the woods," I returned.

"So I guess, I shouldn't tell you that I did get lost for about a day then," he confessed in a sheepish manner.

"Peeta!" I exclaimed. "When, how did you get back?" It was obvious that he did since he was here with me.

"A month before the Quarter Quell," he continued, "I woke up early and headed out, but my mid morning it started to rain and the new markers I made washed out. I walked around for a while and found his place and stayed here until it stopped raining. But it was nighttime by the time the rain stopped so I had no choice but to camp out here."

I shivered in fear envisioning him all alone, cold and wet. "It was a good thing that I packed enough for a day or two. I guess in hindsight I was conscious of the fact that I could get lost." I held on to him wrapping my arms around his waist. "The next morning I looked down the valley and remembered that I marked the tallest tree in the forest a week before. So I walked towards it hoping to find my way back. It was nightfall by the time I made it home."

"Did you tell anyone?" I asked.

"No one to tell," he shrugged his shoulders. "Besides, who would believe me?" The truth was that he couldn't tell anyone that he had breached the fence. The act was illegal and the penalty would have been 10 lashes.

"Did you encounter wild life like the bears and wild dogs?" I inquired.

"Once or twice," he said. "I was able to climb a tree or large rock before they found me." I'm surprised and impressed since I knew that his prosthesis was problematic at times. He tired easy these days and hid his discomfort from me. I had no right at the time to nag him since I wasn't his girlfriend or friend for that matter. But now…

"I got bit once," he said in a casual manner. "It was a puppy scrounging around for food. He saw me and went right straight for my leg." He pointed to his fake leg. "You can imagine his surprise when he bit into the metal.' He laughed. I was pissed.

"Peeta, he could have hurt you. Where was his mother?" I seethed in anger. I wasn't angry with him but frustrated that he would risk his own life like that. But who was I to be angry and mad. He didn't belong to me then. I ignore his existence after the first arena.

"I don't know and I didn't wait to find out so I kicked him and he ran away," he said.

"Promise me that you won't do something that irresponsible," I demanded. "Promise me that you won't risk you life like that." I stared into his eyes.

"I won't make any promises I can't keep," he said. "We promised not to lie to each other anymore or keep secrets from each other, but to stop each other from taking risks to ensure each others' safety is a promise I can't keep. And I know you would do the same so don't argue with me." We stared at each for seconds, moments or hours. I didn't know how long, but each of us not backing down. He's determined and stubborn to protect me and I felt the same for him. I guess stubborn or obstinate is our middle name. "I know that our lives have never been easy or normal since we got reaped. But I do know one thing with great certainty. Whether by fate or destiny, in this life time or the next, we protect each other."

"Always," I swore back. It wasn't the declaration of love I longed for, but it was as close to what I wanted to admit.

"Delly, damnit, stop eavesdropping on them," Bron voice broke into the air as Delly sighs and sniffles grew louder from their tent.

We both giggled at their banter. "I wish I could stay in this moment forever," Peeta sighed. I smiled at the memory. "I said that to you once before one of the games. Real or not real?"

"Real, Peeta," I answered back. "And we will have moments like this in the near future." Delly's wailed behind us.

"That was so beautiful. Why can't you be romantic like Peeta," she cried as Bron snorted in disgust.

Half an hour later, we broke camp and packed up the tents and turned off the surveillance equipment. As Peeta and Bron hitched up the tents into the trees, Delly approached me.

"What are they doing?" she asked as Bron tied of the rope on one end securing the tents hanging on a large tree limb.

"Instead of taking the tents with us they're tying it up and storing it high into the air so that the animals can't get to it," I explained. "So the next time, we don't have to take it with us. It's always be here anytime you want to camp out here."

"What about the alarm system?" she inquired.

"No one know it's been installed in this area so it's safe to jus turn it off and leave it here," I said remembering what Peeta explained to me early his morning as we watched the sun rise together. Before our departure, she led me to the tree where Peeta etched our initials and found the parachutes.

"Did he tell you how he found this place?" she asked as she fingered the markings on the tree bark.

"You don't know?" I asked. She shook her head. I was surprised that he had kept it a secret. I thought he would have told her about this place. A cold chill passed through me, as I thought of him getting lost and alone in the forest for more than a day.

"He never mentioned it," she admitted.

"Hey, let's get going," Bron yelled at us. "I'm hungry and we still have an hour's trek ahead of us. Delly walked over to him as Peeta met me by his tree.

"I see you found my tree," he said a bit embarrassed as he placed a hand on the back of his neck. "I guess I have a lot of explaining to do."

"Haymitch filled me in when you did this," I said as I took his hands into my shaking ones.

"I know it's creepy considering that you and I weren't even together," he said in a sheepish manner as he stared into our clasped hands. "But I wanted something to remind you of me when you came back from the arena. I wanted you to know how I felt about you without saying the words. I needed you to know even though you didn't feel the same way about me. I had nothing to lose and you couldn't deny or reject what I wanted to say to you then." _'Just say it and I'll say it back,'_ my thoughts projected to him. In his letter to me, he told me he loved me. I knew that deep inside that he still did but has the Capitol changed him forever? We're both different and changed because of our experiences during the rebellion, but inside I knew I loved him. But a large part of me was afraid to tell him in fear of his rejection.

I kept his letter and read them over and over. His letters to his Prim, father, my mother and Gale remain sealed and unopened. It didn't seem right for me to read them. I should return them to him. For now they are still in my possession.

"I'm sorry, Peeta," I said with such sadness that my eyes brimmed with tears.

"It's not your fault," he said. "I was resigned and accepted it. You can't force someone to love you back." He tugged my hand to move forward but I stood still.

"I'm glad that you're sharing that with me now." I took him in my arms and held him tight._ 'One day,'_ I swore to my self. _'When we're both ready, we will be able to say the words we both need and want to hear.'_

An hour later, I held on to Peeta with my arm wrapped around him as I leaned my head on his shoulder. Ahead of us was Bron trying to sing while Delly laughed at his attempt to serenade her. "Why are you laughing at me?" he replied in annoyance.

"You sound like a dying cat," Delly giggled as she gazed at her boyfriend. She reached over to his ear. "You're scaring the animals in the forest."

"I am not," he returned offended and frustrated. "I'm trying to be romantic and you're laughing at my singing. I can't be that bad." He turned around. "Hey, Peeta. I'm not that bad, am I?"

"Bron, you're my friend and I'm not going to get in between you and Delly on this," he answered back. The sun hit the back of Peeta's head making him glow. "Even I know better than to sing to Katniss."

I laughed and shivered as his hand found his way underneath my shirt. His fingers were cool from the morning air. His touch was gentle but possessive. I cringed as I realized that his thumb rubbed against one of the scars on my waist. I grabbed his hand but he held on tight as he leaned down and kissed the base of my neck. Distracted, I intertwined his fingers with my own on my waist underneath the shirt. He was killing me.

As we reached the Victor's Village, Peeta stopped for a moment as he stared at the gutted ground of his former home. "I forgot that I don't have a home anymore,' he sighed. "I guess I have to talk to Thom and make arrangements for another home here in the Village and start over." I almost blurted that he could move in with me, but kept my suggestion to myself. Was it too soon to ask? The real question is would Peeta consider moving in with me permanently because that is what I want. I want to start my life with him in my home and our bed.

"Hey you guys," Haymitch yelled from my doorstep. "Get in here already. Breakfast is getting cold. We don't' have all morning."

I looked up at Peeta as he smiled at me. "I hope you're hungry." Bron and Delly ran up the steps and disappeared into the house. Before entering I grabbed his hand stopping him. "What's wrong?" he asked and before I could answer I placed a hand on his cheek and kissed him. We shared long and deep kisses that went straight to my toes. I knew that any privacy we had were rare and a few. I took any opportunity to kiss and hold him as much as I can without an audience. "What was that for?" he asked as his breathe heaved from lack of oxygen. My temple settled upon his, as our lips were mere inches from each other.

"Thank you," I said in a whisper. "Thank you for being you." I couldn't find the right words to tell him what was going through my mind. I kissed him one more time.

"Um…don't mean to interrupt," Bron said as he cleared his throat and looked down on the floor. "But you need to get in here before the girls eat all the cheese buns, Katniss. I know they're your favorite.

I gasped and smiled as I look at Peeta. "How did you?"

"I had a lot of help," he said with a proud look on his face. "Come on, better get inside before there aren't any left." I ran in and as expected Effie, Delly and Johanna were in mid-chew ravaging my favorite cheese buns. I pulled Peeta to sit beside and grabbed two buns.

"Katniss, manners," she scolded as she handed me a pair of moist wipes for my hands. I scowled at her but relented as I wiped my hands. I took a bit and moaned.

"Who made these?" Delly asked as she reached over and plated her dish with eggs and bacon.

"I had Alec Baylor bake them for me," Peeta explained as he sat next to me. His plate was empty but he took a big gulp of orange juice. "I asked him to work for me once the bakery is completed." The table grew silent. "What? He did okay, didn't he? They're easy to make and he is a baker so I didn't think he'd mess up."

"They're perfect and delicious," Johanna said. "I'm surprised you were going to hire him. That was very generous of you."

"That's very thoughtful and kind of you, Peeta," Delly stated as everyone nodded in agreement.

"You're so sweet," Effie sniffled.

"Aw, hell. What is wrong with you females?" Haymitch blurted. I smiled at my boyfriend. He is sweet, kind and generous.

"He's been making Delly cry all night," Bron grumbled. "He's so sweet. And _sooooo_ romantic." He mimicked Delly's voice. "I'd beat him up if he wasn't one of my best buddies." He winked at me ensuring me that he was teasing Peeta and not really threatening him.

"You touch him and I'll put an arrow through you eye," I teased back but with a tinge of truth to my statement.

"Katniss, that is not proper behavior for a lady," Effie screeched.

"Humph, she's no lady," Haymitch mumbled under his breath as Bron nodded in agreement.

"Hey, don't talk about Katniss like that," Peeta snarled at him. My body shivered from his possessive and protective manner. "For that I'm making the cheese buns just for the girls."

"That's not fair, Peet. She threatened with bodily harm," Bron defended himself.

"You made fun of her boyfriend," Delly retorted.

"That means more cheese buns for me," Johanna cackled. They bantered amongst themselves as Peeta and I ogled at each other. The world didn't exist as I made a plate for him to eat. I placed the dish in front of him as he took my hand.

"Thank you, Katniss," he said as he kissed the back of my hand and released it before picking up his utensil to eat.

Effie and Delly sighed while Johanna snickered at me.

"See, he's been doing that all night and making me look bad," Bron pouted.

"Shut up, Bron and eat," Haymitch instructed. Breakfast was an uneventful affair. Peeta ate half his meal. I was relaxed and at ease for a moment until Haymitch shattered it.

"I need to talk to everything, so please convene at the living room," he instructed us. I led Peeta to a sofa and held his hand. Haymitch had a serious look on his face. Effie was unusually quiet while Johanna looked somber.

"First of all, I hope you all had a wonderful time last night," he commenced. I blushed when I thought of how my date ended with Peeta and I half naked. Best sleep in my life as he held me.

"Sorry to burst your bubble but, the perimeter was triggered last night," Johanna interjected.

"What happened?" Bron questioned.

"Around mid morning the alarm sounded off behind Katniss' home," Haymitch started.

"Scared the shit out of me. I thought we were being bombed like in District 13," Effie added. All of us gasped in surprise and amusement since she never swore, ever. "Sorry, but it so reminded me of our time in the underground bunkers. Worse days of my life with people running around with no fashion sense. Cinna would have been appalled. Imagine my horror of wearing grey jumpsuit with no distinction between the men and women. I felt androgynous. And that Coin woman, she most of all needed a makeover. I would have love…"

"Effie, you're babbling," he snickered. "Anyway, whomever he was got scared off, but he left his calling card before disappearing back into the woods." He took out a brown box and lifted the covering revealing more white roses. At the sight of the flowers Peeta stiffened, his body rigid and he had a grim look on his face.

"At least we know that the alarm system works," Johanna said. "But most of all, he didn't or wasn't able to follow you last night since he was here."

"Listen up, the next few days are going to be hectic with the Reaping Memorial Day approaching and Peeta's session with Aurelius," Haymitch reminded us. I forgot about the damn celebration for the last Reaping. "We also have to keep in mind that Peeta will be opening the new bakery once the construction is over."

"By the way, Thom called and said that you have an appointment to make with the new contractor for the bakery," Johanna directed at Peeta. "And you also have an appointment with Kara this afternoon for your checkup." I glanced at Peeta's wristband. I had almost forgotten that he was still wearing the device. He hadn't an episode in a while.

"Do you want me to go with you, Peeta?" Delly inquired. She wasn't officially assigned to him but was grateful for her care of him. I do have wonderful friends and must remember that they are also my new family.

"No need Delly," Peeta answered. "I think Bron is enough of an escort."

"I'm going as a friend for support," she retorted offended at his assumption of her presence during his appointment.

"And I'm going too," I interjected, ready to refute him if he argued back. I raised my brows in defiance. He opened his mouth and closed it shut.

"I'm glad we had some semblance of normalcy around here but," he stopped and took a deep breath. "We still have to keep our eyes open and our guard up. Don't go alone anywhere and always tell someone where you're going. I know that its inconvenient but everyone and I mean everyone," he stopped and looked at Peeta, "has to make an effort and be responsible." I gripped Peeta's hand tight. A yawn escaped him as I realized that we had a long night and an early morning. During the walk I noticed that he favored his left leg. He never complained when he was suffering from any pain or discomfort. I had slept well but had not considered if he had a nightmare. He looked worn and tired.

"Peeta and I are going upstairs," I said as I stood and tugged him up the sofa. "We're taking a nap." Bron and Delly snickered.

"Katniss, that is not…" Effie started aghast at my bluntness.

"I don't care. I'm taking a nap with my boyfriend," I demanded as I scowled at her. Peeta smiled shyly as he scratched behind his ear. His face turned blink. Bron was giving him thumbs up while Delly and Johanna winked at me. Geez, I don't think I'll ever get past their curiosity and interest with my sex life with Peeta. Hell, I'm interested in my sex life. Not that there is going to be sex anytime soon, right? I didn't think Peeta's ready for that step and the truth is neither am I. I think. Maybe. Oh damnit, now I'm having an inner monologue with a subject that I should address with my kind, and loving boyfriend. I sighed like a schoolgirl daydreaming about him. For he is mine as I am his.

I tugged on his hand as I led him upstairs and into the bedroom. After dinner, I changed so fast the night before that my clothes littered the floor. He turned to me. "I need a shower. I'll go back to Haymitch's and take a quick one and meet you here."

"No," I yelled so loud that he cringed at my outburst. I didn't want a single moment to be without him. So I'm clingy and I admit it. "Don't leave." What if he changed his mind walking back to Haymitch's home? It can happen right? I went straight to my closet and pulled out two bags. It was his clothes that I purchased during my shopping spree with Delly. My eyes strayed every time I saw something that would look good on him that I couldn't help but buy it. I'm allowed to since I am his girlfriend.

"I bought this yesterday," I said as I handed him a bag, ready to blush when he realized what I purchased for him. He reached inside and pulled out a light blue plaid short-sleeve shirt, a pair of khaki shorts and a pair of black jeans. Also, inside the bag were three black and blue boxer briefs and white t-shirts. I even bought him three pair of socks. I had already bought him clothes when he was released from the hospital. That was a necessity. This however, was me as his girlfriend buying his clothes.

"I know you lost most of your clothes in the fire, so I hope you don't mind that I bought you…stuff. Not that I'm telling you what to wear and how to dress but I thought…"

I gasped when he reached over and grabbed my waist to wrap his lean arms around me. "Thank you," he whimpered. "No one's ever cared enough to buy me…stuff." He kissed my forehead as I pouted. I wanted him to kiss me again but waited for him to initiate any intimacy between us. So I wait.

"Please don't leave," I said. "You can take a shower in the guest bathroom. I just don't want this day to end yet with you returning to Haymitch's house." He nodded his head.

"What's in the other bag?"

"Oh, I bought you a hoodie, a sweater and this," I said as I pulled out an oblong shaped wooden box. He lifted it from my hand. "I was going to wait for your birthday but it's still a long ways away…" His eyes widened in surprise and plastered a big smile on his face. I hoped to see that look often. I missed it.

"Katniss?" he asked.

"I'm sorry if I'm presuming too much," I cringed. My hands shook from nervousness. Inside the box was a set of charcoal pencils ranging from soft to hard. Each pencil made distinct impressions. Hard lead for lines to soft for shading. Underneath was another set of basic colored pencils. "I wanted to get some paper but I ran out of time."

He dropped the box on the bed. I was afraid that he was disappointed when I squeaked and moaned as he pressed his mouth to my surprised lips. I was shocked but pleased with his response that I wrapped my arms around his neck pressing him closer to me. He, in turn, clutched me around the waist with one had behind my neck while the other on my lower back. I forced his mouth open with my tongue causing me to moan loader. I hoped that everyone had left but since Effie lived with me until she moved into her new home, I didn't care at the moment. After a few minutes we parted, I felt loss and an ache when his lips left mine. "Thank you. You don't know what it means to me for getting this for me." He stuttered with his words as he trembled in my arms.

"You're welcome, Peeta," I shivered licking my lips.

"I'll treasure and always remember this moment," he commented. I would have been content to stay in his arms but we parted. He moved so abruptly, I was concerned that I had done something wrong. "I'll take that shower now." He grabbed a pair of boxers and a t-shirt and exited the room. My head spun with his change of mood and demeanor. I walked into my bathroom alone as images of naked Peeta swam in my head. I shook it off and headed into the shower.

Half an hour later, after taking a long shot shower and a few minutes drying my hair, I found him already tucked in bed waiting for me. He had the box of pencils in his lap tracing the pencils with his fingers. I could have sworn he had tears his eyes. I went over to the side of the bed and slipped under a sheet facing him.

"Everything okay, Peeta?" I asked as he turned to me. He nodded and placed the box on a side drawer and lay on his back. His hair was still damp from the shower and he smelled of lavender. I wore a simple white t-shirt and shorts that matched his attire. I leaned over and placed my head on his chest. Tired but happy, I sighed and closed my eyes. The last thing I remembered was that he took my hand and placed on his heart.

* * *

**Delly POV – **

Bron continued to pout as I walked along side him. In front of us were Peeta and Katniss.

"You really need to get over it," I said as I squeezed his hand.

"Get over it," he sneered. "You made fun of my singing this morning and you said that I'm just as romantic as a slug. How would you feel if I told you that?"

"I was kidding, Bron," I answered back as anger and frustration simmered in my belly. "What's your problem?"

"My problem is that my girlfriend thinks that her best friend is more romantic than me," he snickered back. For a grown man he sulked like a five year old. It was unbecoming of him to behave this way. It was a side of him I've never encountered until now.

"Well, when was the last time you gave me flowers?" I returned. I knew it wasn't fair to ask him that. But a girl still likes to be romanced even if we're living together. I remembered the days when he courted me with flowers and gifts. He took me to the finest places in the Capitol. I admit I was impressed and flattered with his attention. I knew that living in District 12 changed all that but it didn't mean that i didn't long for the romance and attention. Watching Peeta court Katniss made me mss those days. I knew that Bron loves me and he never gave me any reason to doubt him.

"I'm a little busy trying to save your best friend's life," he retorted. "It's bad enough that's its Peeta Mellark for heavens sake."

I turned to him and tugged his hand. "You can't be jealous of him?"

"Why not? He _soooo_ romantic and sweet," he mimicked me. "It's pretty sickening with all those girls falling and pining for him." I punched him hard on his arm. He yelped in pain. Unbelievable, he resorted to jealous, childish and petty behavior.

"Damnit, Delly. You didn't' have to hit me," he cried. Peeta and Katniss turned to us. They were startled by our heated argument.

"Is everything okay," Peeta asked with concern on his face. Bron sneered at him while Katniss scowled back. Bron was wise enough to relent and back off.

"We're fine, Peeta," I answered back as Bron echoed my sentiment. "Can you give a moment?" I asked. They walked further down the lane to provide us for some privacy but enough to keep us in their line of sight. "You knew what Peeta meant to me when we started dating. He's also my best friend. My best friend who is madly and hopelessly in love with Katniss Everdeen."

"Yeah, and I know that if he was free you wouldn't be with me," he grumbled as he watched Peeta and Katniss in an embrace. Her head rested on his shoulder.

"You don't know that, I don't know that," I added. "And may I remind you that it was Peeta who encouraged and supported me in dating you. It was he who told me to give you a chance. He's always known how I felt about him. Even if he weren't with Katniss, he still wouldn't have been with me. Do you know why?" I narrowed my eyes as I poked a finger into his strong, hard chest. The chest I cried and held onto on days of joy and sadness. Bron Masters was the best thing that ever happened to me. Peeta was right when he told me that the social classes didn't' matter. Only love mattered. Bron shook his head. "Because he will always love Katniss through her avoidance, rejection and the venom in his blood. He would never be mine."

"You love him," he whispered that I almost didn't hear him.

"Yes, I do love him," he winced. "But I'm not in love with him. I'm in love you with you. I love you, Bron. But if can't keep your jealousy and insecurity over my relationship with Peeta, we are going to have a problem."

"I can't help it sometimes," he whined as watched Peeta gather flowers from the side of the lane while Katniss waited for him. She had a big smile on her face. As a matter of fact, she had that smile ever since she and Peeta descended the stairs after their nap. "See he's doing it again." He walked over and handed the flowers he gathered. Then, Peeta placed a bloom behind Katniss' ear making her blush as he took her hand and bent over to kiss it. Katniss giggled. I smiled as Bron sighed in resignation. Peeta proceeded to gather more flowers as Katniss stood watch over him.

"Listen, Bron and I'm only going to say this once," I reiterated as I took his hands in mine. "I fell I love with you for being you. Yes, he's important to me. He's the only family I have left. He saw the good in you. Don't make me regret listening to him. Just be you, Bron. That is all I ask." I tipped my head upward to kiss him. Bron leaned down in response.

"I'm sorry," he whispered on my lips. I smiled and knew that we were okay. We were lucky to have found each other after the rebellion. The social classes and prejudice would have made it difficult for us to be together. Peeta and Katniss made it possible for eliminating that division. If it wasn't for them, i wouldn't have never met Bron. And for that, i will be forever grateful.

"Don't be mad at Peeta," I said in stern voice as I tugged on the front of his shirt. Bron was clipped and short with him as we left the house and walked towards town. Peeta looked puzzled and lost at his cool and abrasive behavior towards him. Katniss screamed at Bron and wondered what his problem was when she sensed hurt radiating from her boyfriend. Even Johanna didn't take kindly to Bron's treatment as I watched her clenched her hands into a fist.

"I wasn't really mad, just jealous and frustrated," Bron admitted. "You can't help but like him. He so damn good, friendly and kind for someone who lacked love and kindness in his life." _'He's not good all the time,'_ my mind corrected him. I cringed when I thought of his mother. Peeta was slow to anger but when crossed and when someone he loved got hurt, he was protective and would put his life on the line. When he got mad, his anger was dangerous, deadly and explosive. It's why he never got mad often. I never wanted to see that side of him again. But, he also loved fiercely and deeply for once you had his devotion, you had it for life. "Besides, did you see the way Katniss reacted, I swore she was ready to punch me for being rude to him." And Johanna for she too would've acted and stood up for Peeta.

"Well, you owe Peeta an apology," I suggested. I watched the Star-Crossed Lovers for a moment. "Look at them, Bron. You would have never thought that they suffered so much in their young life. I don't know how they did it, but they made it. No one and nothing will break that bond." Katniss called out to Peeta as he was bent over gathering more flower for her growing bouquet.

"Come on," Bron interrupted my thoughts. "We need to get Peeta to his appointment." He said as he tugged on my hand. I watched as Peeta walked over to Katniss with shy smile on his face, his cheek pink from the sun and his hair tousled. As he was about to reach her, a loud bang echoed in the air and the next thing I knew, Bron had shoved me to the ground landing on top of me.

"Peeta!" Katniss' voice was loud and she sounded frightened. I heard her scream as my vision blurred in front of me. I raised myself from the floor as I tried not to swallow dirt that I inhaled. Gasping and choking, I pushed Bron's heavy body off of me.

"What the hell, Bron," I yelled at him. "Get off of me. What did you do that for?" He sat up and placed his hands all over me checking to see if I was hurt.

"I'm sorry," he asked with fear and panic in his eyes. "Are you hurt anywhere?" I blushed as he groped me for a moment.

"Well, you did push me on the ground so…" I snickered at him. "What the hell happened?" He looked apologetic and scared as he turned his eyes towards Peeta and Katniss. On the ground was Peeta laying face down, not moving or making a sound. Katniss grabbed him and placed him on her lap as tears poured from eyes.

She kept yelling his name over and over as Bron and I ran over to them. The sound of her frantic voice and sobs I will never forget as I saw blood dripped on the floor.

* * *

**_AN: Sorry, I had to end it here. Please don't shoot me. I will update as soon as I can by the end of next week. I promise. Until then, thank you always for reading my story and any reviews, alerts or favored will be greatly appreciated. Have a great weekend._**


	26. Chapter 26 - And the Hits Just Keeps

Chapter 26 – And the Hits Just Keep Coming

_**AN: Thank you to my reviewers and for those you favored and alerted my story. Your comments mean a lot to me. There will be two other POV's besides Katniss.**_

* * *

**Bron POV –**

It was a sight I'd never forget as Delly and I reached them. In front of us was Katniss sobbing, her face wracked with pain. She held onto Peeta, her arms around him. Screaming his name. "Wake up, please wake up," she howled. The ground was littered with flowers everywhere. Blood stained the floor. Peeta's body was still and lifeless with his arms lax.

"Let him go, Katniss and let me take a look at him," Delly instructed, her voice soft but firm. Katniss held on to him, his head hung from her arms and his eyes closed.

"Please, please," she chanted as she swayed back and forth holding on to him tight.

"Come on, Katniss, I need to take care of him," Delly instructed as she pried Katniss' arms away from Peeta.

"No, leave us alone," she screamed as she buried her face into his neck. It was heartbreaking.

"Katniss, I need to look at him," Delly screamed at her. Katniss remained inconsolable and refused to let him go.

"You can't leave me. You promised to never leave me," she wailed. She then kissed him as if it would wake him from his sleep.

"Katniss, damnit let me take care of him," Delly bellowed once more as Katniss continued to hold on to him tight.

"Fuck off," Katniss screamed in anger. Desperate and frustrated, she turned to me. I shook my head not knowing what to do. I opened my mouth to say something when Delly raised her hand and slapped Katniss, hard. The impact sent her head sideways. Shocked, she placed a hand on her red cheek and stared at Delly. "You fucking hit me."

"Let him go so I can see his injury," Delly seethed. She pushed Katniss and she fell backwards causing her to dislodge from Peeta. Quickly, Delly reached over and looked at him. She searched his chest, arms, and abdomen, which displayed a pretty impressive six-pack for his lack of weight. She finally reached his legs. Blood seeped from his pants. "Bron I need a knife." I handed her my blade as she proceeded to slice his pants.

Katniss gasped and turned white. A bullet penetrated his socket. Delly removed the prosthetic leg and sock. It was lodged near the lower portion of his leg. The edge of his rose tattoo was smeared with blood. I had forgotten that it was a souvenir from his hours during his abduction. It was beautiful but it sent a cold feeling down my spine knowing how he got it. I was no longer envious.

"Bron call emergency, we need transport quick," she instructed. She turned to Katniss whose face was pale white. "You're not going to faint, are you?" She shook her head as her face continued to turn paler. "Good. Don't look at his leg. Bron, what are you waiting for?"

"This is my fault," I said in with fear and frustration. "Peeta insisted in walking. I should have forced the issue and taken the hovercar. This wouldn't have happened."

"Stop it. We wanted to walk to town," she reprimanded me. "This never happened before. Just shut up and get help, damnit." She pressed her hand on his leg as blood seeped through her fingers. "Go already, you're wasting time while Peeta's bleeding all over the place. Go damnit." She was angry but in control of her emotions while Katniss continued to sob over him running her hands over his eyes, cheeks and placing soft kisses on his lips. Delly winced as her heart broke at the sight Katniss' pain. "He's going to be all right, Katniss."

I ran back to the Victor's Village. My mind reeled from the situation. Peeta had been shot and what was I doing? I was arguing with Delly, mad and jealous at him and acted like a jealous lover. I knew in my head that he loves Katniss. He may have never said it but it was in his actions and the way he looked at her. It was that simple and so complicated. When I first met Delly she told me the truth about their 'relationship.' It shocked me since they were so convincing, well he was. It was obvious that he loved her and I just thought she was just publicity shy. What did I know about love until I met Delly?

I reached the car and opened door, Johanna screamed. "Bron, what are doing here? Where is Peeta?" Her voice was frantic as she searched for him.

"Peeta got shot, I gotta go," I blurted.

"What? Where?" she yelled. "I'm going with you." She jumped in and slammed the door shut.

When we reached Peeta, Katniss was still holding on to him whispering into his ear. "You're going to be all right. Just please don't leave me." She looked up and her eyes went straight to Johanna. "Johanna, Peeta got shot."

"No shit, Katniss. How did this happen?" she asked her voice was cool and calm but I sensed her anger underneath her somber exterior. She reached over and took Peeta's hand into hers, gripping it tight.

"Pick him up," Delly instructed me. I noticed that she tied one of her hair ribbons around his leg. His prosthesis lay on the ground next to him. The unit was covered in blood around the socket. The part was shattered from the bullet impact. I cringed at the sight. I've been around amputees but it never occurred to me that Peeta wore one. He functioned like anyone I knew, but walked with a gimp. He never complained or spoke about his leg. He suffered so much that one would have never guessed the torture and abuse he endured during his incarceration in the Capitol. He was and is still the bravest person I have ever known. Next to Katniss.

Johanna picked up his fake leg as I loaded him in the car. As expected, Katniss held on to his hand with his head on her lap. A large bruise was forming on the side of his head.

I could tell she was fighting her tears from reappearing. Johanna sat next to me, her face grim. With Peeta's body upon Delly's lap, she applied pressure to his wound. She remained calm as she comforted Katniss.

"He'll be okay, Katniss," she said.

"Why isn't he waking up," she simpered.

"He probably hit his head when he fell," she guessed. "He's alive and breathing, keep reminding yourself that, okay?"

As soon as we arrived, Peeta was wheeled straight into the operating room. I heard Delly contact Dr. Templeton informing her of the situation. She walked over and touched Katniss' arm. Her hand still covered with Peeta's blood. "I'll make sure he's okay and let you know how he's doing. Just stay positive. He's going to be okay." I don't how she can assure her of that, but I'm confident that she would never lie to Katniss if she weren't certain of his recovery. She turned to me last second and mouthed, 'I love you.' I smiled and answered her back.

Twenty minutes later, Haymitch and Effie appeared in the emergency waiting room. "What the hell happened, Bron? How's Peeta?" he yelled at me. Johanna disappeared ten minutes before and appeared with three bottles of water.

"Obviously not doing his job since Peeta got hurt," she countered as she gave Katniss a bottle, which she took absently. I cringed from shame and guilt. I couldn't argue with her. She was right. Peeta got hurt during my watch.

"I messed up," I admitted. My gun felt heavy at my waist. I was dressed in my black Guardsmen's uniform. I held my job with honor and swore to maintain order and peace for the protection of the citizens of Panem. I failed to keep Peeta safe. I felt shame for wearing it.

"What happened?' Haymitch repeated. Effie moved over to comfort Katniss as she cried in her arms. I couldn't handle the sorrow and pain she felt. I was too busy being angry with Peeta instead of protecting him like I should have. I walked out the room as Haymitch followed me outside. "Where the hell are you going?"

"I messed up, Haymitch," I screamed into the air. "I fucked up so bad. Instead of watching out for Peeta, I was having a fight with my girlfriend." Haymitch remained quiet during my rant. "I was arguing with her for something so…stupid."

"What about?" Haymitch asked. "If I may ask."

"We were fighting about Peeta." I winced as I admitted it.

"What about him?" Haymitch's brow lifted high into his hairline.

"I was mad and pissed off because…" I hesitated as I realized how petty and childish I was. "Delly loves him."

"Like a friend, you mean," he added.

"Yes, no…all day all she talked about with Effie and Johanna was how perfect and romantic the date was last night," I sighed. "She wouldn't stop talking about how sweet, romantic, how thoughtful he is. She went on and on about date and the camping and…even about breakfast how he arranged Alec to bake Katniss' favorite cheese buns. Argh… I was annoyed over the whole thing." I walked over to bench located at a small park just outside the Med Center. "He's damn perfect sometimes. The way girls fall over at the sight of him."

"Please don't tell me you're jealous, Bron," Haymitch narrowed his eyes at me. I winced in guilt as I nodded my head.

"Don't be," he continued. "Think about it, Bron. Think of his life in comparison to yours. You were never reaped; you're a Capitol citizen. You have a beautiful and thoughtful girlfriend who loves you. What can you ever jealous about?"

I dropped my head in shame. He was right when I thought of the luxury and privileged life I led. It was through my stint in the peacekeepers that changed my life forever. As the third son, what choice did I have? The eldest sibling would take over the mercantile business my father owned. The second inherited my sister in law's family business. I had nothing. I didn't want a life of aimlessness and indulgence. I wanted to see Panem. I remembered how my family reacted when I told them I wanted to be a Peacekeeper. My family was disgusted and disappointed with my career choice. I wanted to see Panem with having no idea how it changed me. I thought I could see the country, traveling district to district under the authority and power of the Peacekeeper office.

Ironically, my first assignment took me to District 12. I was appalled and horrified at the conditions its citizens lived under. I saw and felt Snow's hand in every move they made. It was demeaning and oppressive. I was sickened by his lack of concern for his countrymen. Soon after, I traveled from district to district. My assignments left me disgusted and angry for the starvation, poverty and corruption I saw in each district. Thousands of lives suppressed by his tyranny that reached every district. So when I heard that there was a rebellion, I left and had myself discharged with the false assumption that I would return back home. Little did I realize that I would find love and home at 12. I looked into Haymitch's eyes.

"You wouldn't want his life, Bron," Haymitch said. "Not then and not now. You're lucky then most."

"I am lucky," I acknowledged. "I'm sorry.

"Don't apologize. It's easy to feel that way around him. Heck, I couldn't stand the sight of him at first. Peeta's so damn lovable and kind. I thought it was all an act. No one could be as good as him knowing what kind of life he came from." He shivered. "You should have met his mother."

I nodded when I remembered the stories Delly told me about Mrs. Mellark. My own mother may be spoiled and self indulgent, but she loved me nevertheless. We sat outside for at least half an hour appreciating the moment of peace and quiet. From the corner of my eye, I watched as woman entered the Med Center carrying a bouquet of white roses. "Oh, fuck," I exclaimed and stood up so fast I startled Haymitch.

"Bron, what's wrong?" he yelled at me.

"It's her," I explained. "That woman that won't leave Peeta alone," I blurted. "What's her name…Eva something?"

"Ah, hell. Eva Perry," Haymitch screeched. We stood looking at each for a second and ran.

* * *

**Johanna POV –**

I held on to Katniss as she screamed from the top of her lungs. "Get the fuck away from here." I gripped her waist as she struggled to free herself. "And stop bringing those damn flowers to Peeta. Leave him alone."

"I heard that he's here in emergency room," Eva said as she stood next to Effie. Bron and Haymitch appeared at her side. "I'm here to pay my respects."

"How did you find out when he just got here an hour ago," Katniss sneered.

"I have my sources," Eva returned in a haughty manner. "I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem is that you're stalking my boyfriend," Katniss yelled, her grey eyes gleamed like steel as she gnashed her teeth. She was a mess with her hair astray, eyes puffy from tears and her nose red. A smear of red stained her skirt with Peeta's blood.

"You're boyfriend," she scoffed. "From what I heard that was all a lie. You have a lover…what's his name…Gale Hawthorne. I was told that you used Peeta to stay alive in the arena. That you're whole relationship was a lie from the start. You never loved him."

"My relationship with Peeta is none of your business," Katniss bellowed. Her face twisted in pain for there was a tinge of truth to Eva's accusation.

"For all I know you're using him now since rumor has it that Hawthorne dumped you," Eva stated. "He's handsome and all, but he's no Peeta Mellark."

"You stay away from him or I swear I'll wring your skinny neck with my bare hands," Katniss threatened as she freed herself from my grasp and approached Eva. Her steps were steady as she stood toe to toe with her. "Peeta is mine, do you hear me? Can you manage to seep that into your tiny little mind and stop obsessing with other people's boyfriend? He's not even interested in you let alone looked at you in any way."

"Well, just give me…ten minutes and I bet you I can make him change his mind," she winked at Katniss. She gasped and grabbed Eva by the neck causing her to drop the roses on the floor. Eva struggled to breath as Katniss wrung her neck with her bare hands.

"Katniss, let go," Bron said as he pulled her off of Eva lifting her off the ground. I smiled behind my hand. That's the 'Girl on Fire' protecting and claiming Peeta as her own.

"Let go of me, Bron. I swear if she even looks at Peeta the wrong way, I'll break her neck," she bellowed as he placed her on the floor.

"You're an animal," Eva gasped. "I don't understand what he sees in you." She held her throat as she panted. Her body bent from the waist.

"Stay away from him," Katniss threatened as she approached her and placed her mouth close to her ear. Eva cringed in fear but remained in a defiant stance. "You so much talk to him, get near him and touch him, I'll put an arrow in between your eyes and hide your body in the deepest part of the forest where no one will find you." She shoved her one last time as Eva stumbled to right herself. "Now leave. Only family and friends are allowed to stay here for Peeta."

"I'd advise that you leave Ms. Perry," Haymitch said as he pointed to the door. She looked at us and scampered off without a backward glance. To my dismay, I looked around and found several people with their cameras forever immortalizing Katniss' encounter with Eva. The news will be televised within hours for all of Panem to see and hear. At least, now they know how she really feels about Peeta. The Star-Crossed Lovers are back. No one can dispute their relationship with Katniss' staking her claim on Peeta.

I glared at each of them causing them to turn off their cameras.

"Come on," Bron gestured. "We should go to another room and get some privacy. I should have thought of that first thing." He led us to another room.

"Hide your body in the deepest part of the forest where no one will find you," I repeated mimicking her threat. "I never knew you had in you, Katniss." I chuckled as I tried to alleviate the tension in the air. Her face contorted with anger as she clenched her hands into fists digging her nails into her palm. Effie settled an arm around her shoulders.

"Calm down, my dear," she spoke, her voice soft but soothing. "You don't want Peeta to see you like this."

"She had the gall to come here and bring those things with her," she seethed. "I hate that woman. I want to fucking rip her head off and feed her body to the wild dogs in the forest."

"Geez, Katniss, tell us how you really feel about her," Haymitch snickered.

"Well, she crossed the line," Effie added. "I'd put an arrow through her myself…if I knew how to." We stared at her. Effie was the epitome of nonviolence. "What? She's obsessive and creepy stalking Peeta like that. If Peeta were my boyfriend, I'd put her in her place too. But who can blame her; he's such a magnificent young man. So polite, gentle and sweet. Who can resist his dimples and blue eyes?" Bron winced and sighed as Haymitch glared back at him.

"Well, he's mine," Katniss announced, "and I'll shout it from every roof top and remind Panem if I have to."

"Atta girl, Girl on Fire," Haymitch joked. "Take out an announcement or a video while you're at it."

"I'm not kidding," Katniss said with a straight face. "I'm sick and tired of these women chasing after him. They all want to touch him…kiss him. He can't go anywhere without someone flirting and touching him."

"Don't we know it," Bron mumbled under his breath.

"Katniss, if you want a life with Peeta, you're going to have to get used to the idea that women out there will forever be enamored with him," Haymitch advised. "Just like Panem will be enamored with you." It was part of life for a Victor. But with Katniss and Peeta, the two that instigated the war to free Panem, their celebrity status and legend will go down in history forever. They will never be forgotten or live a life of anonymity.

Katniss looked ill as she sighed. "I don't care about other people." She paused for a moment as she stared at the floor. "i just want Peeta."

Just in time, Kara walked into the room. Delly trailed behind her. "How's Peeta?" Katniss all but screamed.

"The operation was a success, the bullet didn't hit his femur," she informed us. "The socket saved him padding the impact from the bullet. So no serious damage, I should add." We sighed in relief. "He'll be out of commission until his prosthesis is replaced. The bruise on his face will fade in a few days. Other than that, he's fine."

"I have to see him," Katniss wailed.

"He's still under the anesthesia, Katniss," Delly added.

"I don't care. Please let me see him," she pleaded. "I promise not to disturb him."

"I knew you want to be with him and I'm okay with it," Kara added. "But you're the only one that can see him. All of you will have to wait. Hospital policy dictates that only family or his spouse is allowed to stay with him."

Katniss looked at Kara, "But I'm not his wife," she said.

"No but I think that you're the closest to family that he has, I assume. You're not even his fiancée but I'll allow it," she complied. "I don't want him to wake up alone like the last time."

"Thank you, Kara," Katniss addressed her for the first time.

"Delly will take you to him," she added. I sighed as they left the room. "Okay, since you are all here. I need to speak to all of you."

"What's wrong? I thought you said that the operation was a success," Haymitch said in concern.

"He pulled through but in the middle of the operation he went into cardiac arrest," Kara said in a grave manner. "This wasn't the first time it happened. I know you've read his files. What they did to him. So it's safe to say that what I'm about to tell you is no big secret about his condition." I winced in pain for the memories of torture and abuse. The starvation, the sleepless nights and abuse haunted me. While my main torture was water, Peeta was shocked with a taser whenever he got out of line or spoke out of turn. It was frequent and daily. "He has a very weak heart. His weight is a big concern of mine. I cannot recommend the new treatment until he gains more weight as said before. I'm concerned about his session with Dr. Aurelius."

"What about his session with Aurelius?" Effie inquired.

"That's my conundrum. I believe that his mental recovery is a priority but with his weak physical state, I'm certain that his heart won't be able to handle the stress."

"Then it's simple. We wait until he gets better before his session," I added.

"I don't think you understand. The more time he waits, the more likely he'll have an episode. Something or someone may trigger him," she explained. "He's a ticking time bomb. He's suppressing memories of his abduction. In time they'll resurface and who knows how he'll react. He's a danger to himself and for those around him."

"He would never hurt anyone. He'd rather injury himself that hurt anyone," I yelled at her. She knows so little of Peeta.

"Calm down, Johanna," Effie spoke. "She's trying to help Peeta."

"So what do you recommend?" Haymitch asked angry and frustrated.

"It's really down to Peeta," she relented. "He has to make that decision ultimately. It's his life." 'And Katniss,' I added in my mind. "I can't decide for him but lay out his options. If we wait, he might suffer an episode from being triggered. If he has his session, the stress will weaken his heart due to his weight loss. His body and his mind cannot handle stress either way." We're stunned into silence. "Granted, he's done well for someone who had survived his ordeal. I'm surprised he's still alive."

Now I'm really scared for Peeta. He's all the family I have left. When I left earlier to go home back to 7, he kept correspondence with me. I thought, as time would pass, he'd move on his own life back to 12. I would never hear from him ever again. He never gave up on me during our captivity and after we were treated back in the Capitol hospital. He remained my friend.

**_Flashback –_**

_I packed my bags of what possessions I had left. I had nothing but clothes given to me by Delly. I felt uneasy and incomplete without a blade or knife in my possession. We bade our farewells the night before. She cried and promised me to keep in contact with her. "We're family now, Johanna," she said as she crushed her arms around me. "If you don't keep in contact I'll hunt you down myself, you hear me?" I laughed at her threat._

_"No joke, Delly, thank you for being my friend," I said. "Thank you for not abandoning us." She cried some more and left with tears in her eyes. I hate goodbyes._

_Peeta remained quiet as I zipped my bag and looked around the room. "I'm sorry you still have to stay, Peeta." He shrugged his shoulders and kept his eyes away from me._

_"Well, they have to keep the crazy one from terrorizing the populace," he sighed as his hands shook. I grabbed them tight. There were tears in his eyes._

_"You can fight this, Peeta," I said. "Look how far you've come."_

_"I'm scared, Johanna," he admitted. "You are all I have left. I have no home. My family is gone. I have nothing. No one needs me…no one…" Tears tracked down his face. I held him close as his pain triggered my own._

_"You have me and Delly," I swore to him. "I will never abandon you. I may be far away but you will always be my friend. Call me and I'll come running."_

_"You're my best friend, Johanna," he said as he kissed my cheek._

_"Of course we are Peeta. We're torture buddies." I snickered. "Besides, you better not let Delly hear you say that. She's your best friend too._

_"Friends never give up on each other. You're my friend for life." he imparted. And he meant it._

**_End of flashback -_**

His words echoed in my head. I'm engrossed in my thoughts that I never heard Delly return back to the room or that Kara had left. "So I had to leave. It was heartbreaking watching Katniss with Peeta."

"Is he awake?" I asked. I wanted to see him too, to confirm that he was all right.

"No. I just couldn't watch her anymore," she simpered. "She just stood there holding his hand, crying. I couldn't take it anymore. Those two make me cry when they're together." She sighed as she swiped her hand across her red nose. "They never seem to catch a break. They are finally together and this happened."

"They're together, Delly," Haymitch said. "We just have to make sure they stay that way." We nodded in agreement.

"I need to make another statement," Effie announced. "This will be in the news within hours. I have to be ready and leave for District 11." Her announcement left us grave and silent. There is nothing to extinguish the rumors or speculation with this incident. Peeta will have to divulge his situation.

"Have you guys been here all this time? I thought you were waiting in waiting room?" Delly asked.

"We had an encounter with Eva Perry," I supplied. "She came to see Peeta."

"How did she find out?" she inquired.

"We don't know," Haymitch spoke. "But don't you find it intriguing that she always seems to know when Peeta is in town. How is that?" I too wondered how she managed to be wherever Peeta is located.

"Who knows, all I know is that her obsession with Peeta is escalating," I articulated. "If we don't figure out how to solve this someone is going to get hurt. And I'm not talking about Peeta." My first priority will always be about his safety but with Katniss, she acted without thinking about the consequences. She was just like me. Katniss killed Coin without remorse. Who knew what she would do to Eva or to herself if anything happened to Peeta.

That evening my dinner with Effie and Haymitch is subdued and grave. I never thought I would miss company without Bron, Delly and Katniss who remained at the hospital to stay with Peeta. Haymitch broached the subject of Peeta's murder attempt. "President Paylor called me this afternoon," he said. "She's assigned two more Guardsmen to protect Peeta and I've had her file a protective order for him. Eva Perry or anyone who is a threat to Peeta is ordered to stay clear of him within 20 yards. I didn't have a choice but agree with her. We need more help to keep Peeta safe."

I'm relieved of the protective order. However, the new security detail had me worried. "Who are the Guardsmen? Can they be trusted?" I asked since it was the first thing that popped in my mind.

"Bron recommended them." He reached over to a glass of wine that Effie allowed for him to drink. Since his sobriety, Haymitch made great pains and effort to stay clean and sober. I guess this was a special occasion. "He knows them from his days during the rebellion. I trust him."

"I don't. I don't trust anyone," I said. "I know he loves Delly and wouldn't do anything to hurt her. He was supposed to watch and protect Peeta. And look what a fine job he did." I knew I was being unfair but Peeta got hurt while he was busying arguing with Delly over his jealousy and resentment over him. I can never forgive him for that.

"Johanna, he cares about Peeta too," Haymitch admonished me.

"He didn't mean to let this happen," Effie added, her face sad as tears brimmed her eyes.

"Whatever," I said in derision. "I'd watch Peeta my self but I know he'll resent me for hovering over him." I stopped to clear my mind of anger and pain. "He's not only my best friend; he's my family. I can't lose him."

When we got captured, I thought he was just a burden. He would cave and die from the abuse and punishment. Peeta was not a fighter and I resented him for it. He was weak, useless and too damn pretty in my eyes. Peeta Mellark wasn't Finnick Odair. But after weeks of torture, he proved me wrong. He fought to stay alive. Little did I realize how his presence during those months would save my life and my sanity? We were allies that were brought together through circumstance. Victors gravitated to each other for companionship, friendship and even sex. In time he became my friend. He's the only man in my life that never took advantage of me. He remained true to Katniss despite her avoidance, resentment and anger towards him.

"We're not going to lose him, Johanna," he swore as he took a big gulp of wine that some splattered over his shirt. He wiped his mouth of excess and poured himself another glass. His overindulgence irritated me. Wasn't he supposed to stay sober?

"Don't make promises you can't keep," I sneered as I lashed out at him.

"Johanna that was uncalled for," Effie scolded me. Haymitch reacted with pain in his eyes. I didn't care. Peeta was in the hospital again and there was nothing I can do to help him. I'm glad that Katniss was with him.

I tossed and turned in my bed all night. My emotions were a mix of anger, despair, fright and hatred. Restless and moody, I'm dressed in my black attire hiding me in the dark of night as I walked to town. With the moon as a source of light, I found my way to the Med Center. I needed to see Peeta and ensure myself of his safety. The center is quiet and stark. I'm certain that he is housed in the same room as last so I trekked down the corridor when I spotted a familiar figure slinking down the hallway. "You fucking have to be kidding me," I said underneath my breath. "Where the hell do you think you're going," I said as I grabbed her arm and pinned her to the wall.

"Let go of me," she cried as I wrapped an arm around her neck and shoved her face against the wall.

"You seem to have forgotten what I would do to you the next time you ever got near Peeta," I threatened. "I told you to leave him alone." I squeezed my arm around her neck.

"You're hurting me," she wheezed in pain.

"What did I tell you the last time," I reminded her "The next time I see you harassing him, I'll drive my favorite axe through your thick skull."

"I just wanted to see him," she whined. "He's hurt and that girl is with him."

"That girl is Katniss Everdeen, the love of his life," I added.

"He needs me," she whimpered. "I'm the only one that he wants. He loves me." She's so delusional that I felt sorry for her. "We belong together. Please, you need to let me go to him. He'll die without me. I'm his one and only love. I can save him." She panted as she struggled to free herself. I released her and unsheathed my knife from my waist.

She turned to confront me when she saw my blade. Her eyes were wild and glazed. I recognized the manic look anywhere. She was drugged and she reeked from alcohol.

"You have ten seconds to leave the premises or I'll call a Guardsmen and have you arrested for violating the protective order," I stated. She continued to stare at me as if I she didn't hear me. In her drug induced and delirious state, she lunged forward and tripped over her own feet causing her to stumble and land hard on the ground. A loud thud and cracking sound echoed in the hallway as her body landed in an odd position.

"Johanna, what's going on?" Bron appeared behind me. He wore his Guardsmen uniform and had a taser in his hand. "What are you doing here at this late hour?"

"I couldn't sleep so I thought I come and check on Peeta. It's a good thing. It seems that he was going to have visitor this morning," I stated as I pointed to Eva's inert body. His eyes grew wide as he stared at my knife still clutched in my hand.

"Shit, Johanna, you didn't kill her, did you?" he said frantic as he rushed over to her and checked her pulse.

"Please," I scoffed. "If I wanted her dead, did you think I'd kill her in the middle of a hospital corridor." Bron smiled. "I'd hide her body in the deepest part of the forest where no one will find her."

He smirked, "Very original, Mason." He laughed as he remembered Katniss' threat to Eva hours before. "Thanks for intercepting her. Someone alerted us that an intruder was walking in the hallway. I prayed that it wasn't her but…but she here is."

"How's Peeta doing?" I sheathed my knife back in my belt. We stood having a polite conversation over Eva's prone body.

"He woke up last evening," he stated. "Delly, Katniss and I were with him. He was panicked and startled at first, but they were able to calm him down."

"But he was okay?" I asked.

"Yeah, after a couple of minutes he said he was hungry and well…you know what happened next," he sighed. "They tended to him hand and foot. Whatever he wanted or needed he got." He placed a hand behind his neck. He looked tired and frustrated.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "Haymitch filled me in about what happened yesterday."

"Listen, I'm sorry I failed Peeta and didn't keep him from getting hurt," interrupted me.

'Don't apologize to me. You're apologizing to the wrong person."

"I will never forgive myself for what happened to Peeta," he confessed.

"Hey, I don't want to hear how remorseful you are. Just do your damn job," I said as I folded my arms across my chest hoping to contain my anger towards him. "Peeta has only been nice to you. He doesn't deserve your jealousy and resentment. What he has with Delly is love and friendship that was formed since they were children. You can't begrudge them for that. They have never done anything for you to doubt them."

"I know, I know," he whined. "Haymitch already lectured me yesterday. I even got a scolding from Effie." He shivered at the memory. Effie's accent was irritating at best. When she got excited or angry, her voice got tinny and high pitched. You're ears suffered from it. From behind us Eva moaned.

"We should check up on her," I said in disgust.

"Johanna, I need to tell you something. I should have said something but I wasn't sure at first. It happened so fast and I needed to make sure Peeta that was okay and I didn't' even think about…" he ranted.

"Oh, for fuck sake. What is it?" I asked, as my patience grew thin.

"It was her," He pointed to Eva. "She was the one that kissed and bit Peeta last night after dinner. I didn't recognize her at first then I realized that she wore a wig to hide herself. I know I should have said something but I wasn't sure until now."

"Fucking bitch," I screamed as I reached for her but Bron intercepted me placing him self between us. "Get out of the way."

"Listen, I know you're angry," he said.

"I'm beyond angry, Bron," I seethed. I want to wake her up and beat her to unconsciousness, then repeat. "She's stalking him and now she's physically harassing him." I couldn't admit the real reason why I was angry. Peeta's abuse was beyond torture and starvation. It was also humiliation and sexual. He was molested and fondled repeatedly by would-be clients. His virginity was being auctioned but it didn't' stop Snow from 'testing' him out. He was the golden boy that the Capitol coveted. Peeta was the next Finnick Odair; the new Victor that the Capitol wanted to sleep with. I wasn't kidding when I said that in the elevator before the Quarter Quell arena. I thought he would be safe coming home to 12. The reality was that he's not safe anywhere with the likes of Eva stalking him.

"I'm going to pick her up and place her into custody," Bron instructed. "She will be incarcerated for violating the protective order. Hopefully, she will be banished from District 12."

"That's not good enough," I seethed with anger. My hands shook that I felt the need to punch something, someone. So I did the next best thing. I picked up my knife and hurled it at Eva. Bron gasped in shock and turned around to find my blade lodge on the floor mere inches from her head.

"Holy fuck," he exclaimed.

"Get her out of my sight before I shove my knife down her throat." He picked her up and ran out of the corridor. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Dr. Aurelius recommended breathing exercises to calm my nerves; they didn't work. I knew what would so I head to his room.

Peeta's room was cloaked in darkness. I smelled a tinge of flowers in the air. Light filtered through his open window as the breeze danced with the sheer curtains. It was a private room for VIP's and privileged townspeople who could afford the space and privacy. Delly would have insisted placing him there. On the wide bed was Katniss as she lay next to Peeta clutching his right hand into hers. Her head was inches away from his, her body close and grazing his side. She laid her head above his shoulder. They were both sound asleep in each other's presence. My mind and heart felt at ease watching them sleep. The rhythmic heart monitor allayed any fears that harbored in my mind. He was safe and sound and in the company of someone who loves him.

I tensed when I heard footsteps outside his door. I crept towards the entrance and opened the door to find two Guardsmen roaming the hallways. Bron's friends I assumed and Peeta's new security detail. They saluted me and smiled. I ducked back into the room and settled myself on a sofa. With a heavy heart I knew that this moment of peace was temporary. Peeta's life was still in danger and his session loomed in the horizon. If the stalker failed to kill Peeta first and the results of his next session might do it for him.

* * *

**Katniss POV –**

I ran my fingers down Peeta's cheek. He wore a day's growth of hair on his handsome face. The stubble on his face felt foreign as a light touch sent tingles through my fingertips. His hair no longer brushed his eyes. I missed his long locks that curled on the ends. I resisted the urge to lick his earlobe for now was not the time to molest my sleeping boyfriend. I giggled to my self. My lips grazed his forehead, down his nose and his lips. His skin was cool to touch but soft as silk. I was giddy from knowing that I could feel and touch him this way. My heart lurched with joy as I remembered the way he touched me the night before.

I've been staring at Peeta's sleeping for a few minutes when I then realized that we were not alone. Johanna whimpered in her sleep. Her face was etched with pain as her body trembled. She too suffered with nightmares but never complained or mentioned them. When I first met Johanna I thought she was crass, bitchy and arrogant. I hated the sight of her. I even loathed her for making me feel inadequate as a Victor. The fact that she often leered at Peeta unnerved me. I didn't realize I was jealous of her strength and strong personality. It was through Peeta that I really got to know her. I guess it's a gift that he had that ability. He made friends easily and charmed anyone. Strangers gravitated to his warmth and easy nature. Unlike me, I warded off people with a look and personality. Making friends didn't' matter to me.

After a few minutes she sighed and settled back into the sofa. I turned back to Peeta who remained undisturbed. I took his hand and placed a soft kiss on his knuckles. He felt cool as a soft breeze passed through the window. His eyelids fluttered but he remained asleep.

"I hope you're having a nice dream, baby," I whispered in his ear. Kara informed me that he would sleep most of the day and through the evening. He woke up long enough to have a cup of soup and a slice of bread, which he ate with such vigor. Delly and I smiled at each other hoping that it was a good sign that his appetite was returning. I almost laughed when he complained that the bread sucked and was not fit to feed the animals. Minutes later, he fell asleep as he reached for my hand and pulled me towards him.

All morning I dreamt of Peeta, as he lay dead at my feet. Since coming together these are my new fears. Now that I have him in my life, I'm scared of losing him.

"Katniss," he sighed. His eyes were wide open as he smacked his lips together. "Thirsty." I jumped off the bed and winced when my feet met the cold tiled floor. He took a few sips then dropped back to the bed. "Thank you."

"How are you feeling?" I asked as I snuggled back into his side. My head rested on his shoulder as I placed my hand on his chest.

"My leg hurts and I ache all over," he returned. "When can I go home?"

"Peeta, you just came back from surgery yesterday," I said. I wanted him to come home too but it was too early. "You're still weak and…" I sobbed and tried to contain my tears.

"Hey, don't cry, okay?" he said as he tightened his arm around me. He turned his head and noticed Johanna for the first time. "How long has she been here?"

"I don't know," I informed him. "I woke up and there she was."

Our moment of peace was disrupted as Delly walked into the room. "Hey, you two. Good morning, I hope you both had a good night's rest."

I shrugged my head. Peeta sighed. "Do you have any idea when I can go home, Delly?"

"Whoa there, Peeta," she smiled. "First of all, you're not going anywhere until you get fitted for a new leg and most of all you're in no shape to be moving about. You're still weak and you're leg hasn't healed just yet."

"You need to listen to her," Johanna joined in our conversation as she awoke from our conversation.

"I can't stay here," he stated as I noticed that his voice shook. "I want to go home, please?"

"It's just for a little while until you get better," Johanna added. She stood up from the sofa and walked over to him. "You need to get better."

"Peeta, you can't," Delly stated. "I know you don't like it here but…"

"I'll stay here with you, Peeta," I interrupted. "I'm not going anywhere."

"You can't put your life on hold and stay with me 24/7, Katniss. It isn't fair to you," he said in frustration.

"I want to be here," I said as I placed both hands on his cheek and stared into his blue eyes brimming with tears. "I'm not leaving you." He gulped, nodded his head and closed his eyes.

"Promise?" he whispered as he opened his eyes and stared back into mine.

"Always," I answered back. He turned his head and kissed the inside of my left palm. Delly sighed as Johanna smirked. A few minutes later, a nurse walked in and served breakfast for Peeta and I. He turned white at the sight of the oatmeal and orange slices.

"I'm not hungry," he scrunched his face in disgust.

"You need to eat," Johanna said her voice calm but stern. "If you don't want oatmeal I'll get you something else." She was forceful and brooked no argument. Her concern worried me. Peeta acquiesced and asked for cereal, which Johanna nixed. She ordered scrambled eggs, a piece of bacon and a slice of toast with this tea. "Bring it to his room in fifteen minutes or I'll come down there and make it myself," she threatened the cooking staff as she slammed the phone back onto its cradle. Tens minutes later, his breakfast arrived with a nervous looking attendant. Johanna grabbed the tray and placed it in front of him. "Eat." She said as she forced a utensil in his hand.

Delly and I gawked at Johanna's assertive behavior. She never was forceful with him; she was always patient and let him go on his own pace. It wasn't until three hours later when Kara arrived that I understood her concern. Peeta was quiet and motionless as she laid out his options. I burst into tears as fear and pain radiated from my chest.

"I'm sorry, Peeta," Kara apologized. "I wish that I had better news but I thought it was best that you knew what lay ahead of you. The decision is up to you."

"As my doctor, I need to know what you would advise," he spoke, his voice calm and firm. "What are my odds if delay my session?"

"With or without your session, in time you'll have an episode and with your weak physical state…your heart can't handle the stress."

"What about my new treatment?" he asked.

"Peeta, the treatment alone is very stressful for both mind and body," she explained. "I'm totally against it until you stronger and healthier for the ordeal. Besides, it's only experimental and never been done before. It's too much risk to take for something that won't guarantee a successful result. It might actually set you back or make it worse."

"Then, why is Dr. Aurelius willing to try it," I asked, anger consumed me of the thought that he was willing to risk Peeta's life with a new experiment.

"He believes that it would work in Peeta's case," she said. "The treatment is especially designed for him."

"But it might work and remove the venom all together," Peeta asked as hope gleamed in his eyes.

"There's no guarantee, Peeta," Kara exclaimed.

"Stop talking about it," I screeched. "It's a moot point. He's not going to have it done now or ever."

"It's my choice to make," he said to Katniss. I gasped as he even thought of gambling his life for a treatment that may or may not work.

"Peeta, you're getting ahead of yourself," she reminded him. "You still have your session with Dr. Aurelius. You need to gain your weight back…you're heart cannot handle any stress. You're memories from the abduction may trigger an episode." She listed his shortcomings. The prognosis was bleak and discouraging.

"So either way I'm…fucked," he said. She continued to advise Peeta what he needed to do to prepare for his session. Eating and gaining his weight back was critical and first priority. He needed to rebuild to strength back. He turned to Johanna. "You knew. That's why you insisted I ate this morning."

She nodded her head. "Kara told us yesterday." He sighed and looked out the window. Kara left and promised to return the next day. Delly lingered in the room, as did Johanna. A few minutes passed and still Peeta remained quiet. Sensing his mood, both Delly and Johanna left the room leaving us alone as he continued to stare out the window with his hands clutching the bed sheets.

"Peeta, what's wrong?" I asked as he turned to me, his eyes sad. Without a word, he reached over and grabbed my hand forcing me to lie next to him. He winced as I adjusted my body to lay over his. With my head pressed against his chest, I felt him quiver as tears formed in his eyes. He didn't react when he saw the footage of Effie's press conference. Soon after his room was littered with gifts and flowers coming from every district wishing him well for his recovery and safety. Little did I realize that he was shutting down and giving up.

The next two days, he was quiet and somber. He forced fed himself and insisted to walk to the bathroom on his own steam. He spoke little and slept for most of the day. Johanna, Delly and I spent our waking hours in his company afraid to leave him alone. He was uncommunicative and unresponsive to his surroundings. I couldn't get him to talk to me and his quiet demeanor scared me "Please don't shut me out, Peeta. Talk to me." Tears welled in my eyes. He cupped his hand on my cheek as his thumb wiped my tears. I sighed in relief.

"You're the only thing I ever wanted," he confessed. "All my life there was only you I saw…in my dreams…my future. I'll never want anyone but you."

"And all I'll ever want or need is you, Peeta," I admitted. "Always." I leaned forward and kissed him. It was chaste and sweet. Nothing like the kisses we shared the past few days.

"I'm not getting better," he confessed. "I don't know what to do?"

"You can fight this, Peeta," I encouraged him. "You can beat this and I'll stand behind you all the way."

"I'm tired of fighting," he said. "I've been fighting all my life. I fought through two arenas. I fought through heartbreak, torture and my hijacking. I'm so tired."

"You can't give up, not now," I begged. I was losing him.

"Every day I hold on," he stated. "Every moment of every day is a struggle. I patted my self on the back for surviving my torture and finally winning the heart of the girl of my dreams. Only to realize that the odds were never in my favor." His admission of defeat broke me and his confession shattered my heart.

The next few days he was moody, passive and impatient. He would snap at Delly, Johanna and me when we pushed him to eat. Then the next moment he was apologetic and quiet. Johanna told me that the longer he stayed inert and in one place, the more he'll react in anger and frustration. At night he would tremble in his sleep and cry out, panicking as if he was still back in the Capitol. He was becoming a shadow of the boy I loved.

"Finish eating your stew," Delly insisted at one mealtime.

"Why?" he asked in a casual tone. "It's not like I'm going to get better." He never reached to kiss or touch me. The few times I kissed him, the kisses lacked the passion and heat that burned my belly. Other times when we're alone, his hands scaled my face, arms and back as he embraced me. His touch left me yearning for more but he held back.

On the day he was discharged he woke up screaming. The incident was not enough to trigger an episode. He woke up in panic attack.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," he shivered in my arms as I held him tight. With our close proximity he felt my hard nipples pressed onto his hard chest as i licked my lips yearning for him to kiss me. He gasped in surprise as I blushed. "You still want me? The broken pieces of me."

"More than ever," I admitted as I kissed his lips to convey what my words couldn't express. "And don't give up. I won't, I promise." I abandoned him once with my cowardice and fear. I won't do it again.

We're so engrossed with each other that we never saw Delly, Bron and Kara entered his room. Delly was all smiles while Bron looked sheepish. "Ready to go home?" Kara announced while Peeta nodded his head in response. He was pensive and unexcited for someone who complained about wanting to go home. He was fitted with a replacement prosthesis that would be a substitute until the new leg that Beetee was developing for him was ready. It was not what he was accustomed to as he eyed the replacement leg. The leg was made of metal with a hard plastic socket. His usual prosthesis was designed to look like a leg with a soft socket that fitted his thigh. Peeta eyes perked when he heard that the new leg was especially designed just for him.

"Here Katniss," Delly stated as she handed me a bag. "I got you both fresh clothes before you leave today." She turned to leave the room. "You can help your boyfriend get dressed." She winked at me as I blushed. Peeta was busy in the bathroom when he stepped out to find me alone. Everyone left. Taking the bag from my hand he proceeded to undress but stopped as he placed his hand on the waist of his pajama bottom.

"What's wrong," I asked as I watch his mouth quiver.

"I don't want you to see me like this," he trembled. "I look like a monster." I walked over to him and hugged him. "At least my other leg made me look normal. Like a real person.

"You are a real person. I don't care that you're missing a leg," I insisted as I dragged his pants down his hips. I blushed as I tried not to look at his groin. I helped him into a pair of brown khakis as he placed his hands on my shoulders to steady him self. Once he wore his shirt, I buttoned and zipped his pants, fastened his shirt and pecked his lips for good measure. "I look forward to undressing you one day." I whispered into his ear. I laughed to myself as he cheeks turned bright red. He was so adorable.

He placed his hands on my waist and kissed my forehead. I washed my face and dressed quickly in the bathroom. Half an hour with his medication in my possession and all the paperwork signed and completed I wheeled him out of the Med Center as Bron and his two Guardsmen flanked us.

To our surprise a group of people was gathered outside waiting for us. Bron quickly raised his gun. Hazelle appeared with a bouquet of flowers. "We don't mean any harm. We just want to show our gratitude and best wishes for Peeta," she remarked as she approached him. Peeta took the bouquet and smiled back at the crowd. I smiled with pride and joy. They sent cheers and best wishes to him.

I hugged Hazelle and whispered in her ear, "Thank you, you don't know how much this means to him."

"Just take care of him," she responded back.

We loaded Peeta into hovercar while the two Guardsmen rode on hoverbikes alongside us. Peeta's smile never left his face as he held my hand on our trip back to the Victor's Village. We reached the village in short time to find a black hovercar parked in front of my house. As I helped him out of the car, a tall figure exited my home with Johanna trailing right behind. Bron and company eyes widen and mouth went slack when the figure approached us.

My mind reeled with anger and hate. "What the hell are you doing here? I screamed as I placed myself in front of Peeta. Ready to protect him.

"Katniss, I'm here to save you," he said as he placed his hand on his holster. I blinked for a second then bent over and laughed so hard my stomach ached. I was so looking forward to undressing Peeta and sleeping with him in my bed when my would-be savior decided to save me from myself. It was none other than Gale Hawthorne at my doorstep. Could my day get any worse than this?

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_AN: Thank you for reading this chapter. I'm not evil just manicial. Hope up enjoyed it. See you next week and have a great weekend. ;)_


	27. Chapter 27 - Where There Is Light

Chapter 27 – Where There Is Light There Is Evil

_AN: Thank you, thank you to moriahhh, Trude, Aqua Rules, Tea4e, kamjam, LACR, Guest, KT an everlasting1286 for your comments and reviews. They give me great pleasure and motivation for writing my story. Also, for those who alerted, favored me and my story. I wrote this in hope that I would be able to post it before the holiday. Whew, just in time and very lengthy, I hope you don't mind. Thanks again for reading my fic._

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**Katniss POV –**

I stood up right and wiped the tears from my cheeks. _'Why am I tearing up for no reason,'_ my mind wandered. The stress from the last few days, Peeta recovering, my nightmares and his coming home back safe; it was all catching up to me. Gale had a look of anger and hatred in his eyes as I realized they weren't directed towards me but behind me. His hand was on his holster. He tried looking intimidating but came off ridiculous. Johanna stood right behind him her arms akimbo. Her pale skin was in contrast to her black tank top, vest, leather pants and boots. She mimicked the attire of a Guardsmen. Her knife looked larger like she was had replaced it with something more deadly and wicked. She was not pleased.

My concern turned to Peeta as I whipped around and found his eyes dazed and angry. His hands were clutched into fists and his body stiff and rigid. The world shifted as I blanked out everyone around us. "Peeta?" I asked as I approached him. His blue eyes were laser straight to hard gray but not to mine. "Baby, look at me," I directed to him as I placed both hands on his cheeks forcing to meet my eyes. "Look at me." He remained stoic and fixed at Gale. He panted through his nose as if he was struggling to breath. I didn't like this Peeta whose face was hard, eyes deadly and teeth gnashed tight. I'd rather have him with his eyes crinkled with joy or sad and weary. This is a version of Peeta that reminded me of the one that came back from the Capitol. "Please see me, baby," I pleaded. His eyes softened as it met mine. He blinked a few times as his breath settled while his hands went lax on his side.

I leaned over and kissed him tentative at first afraid that he would push me away. His lips were shut then opened as I licked his upper lip. He pulled my tongue between my lips and sucked. I gasped in surprise and excitement as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I missed his kisses that left my aching and tingly all over. The world vanished around us as I crushed his body into mine. He placed a hand on the back of my head as he encased the other around my hip. I missed this, his kisses that light my soul as my heart hammered into my chest. I pulled away to catch my breath his forehead against mine. "Stay with me. I only see you, okay?" He nodded his head as he kissed me one more time before letting me go. I turned to Gale.

"What are you doing here?" I asked in a casual tone. I couldn't let Peeta see or feel my anger. It would only set him off. My breath was uneven as I tried to concentrate. I'm delirious and anxious to keep Peeta to myself all day and all night. Gale's sudden appearance bored into my gut as I tried to keep my anger and at bay. My happy bubble burst from his interference and assumption that Peeta was a danger to me.

"You need to step away from him," he said as he wrapped his hand around his gun. "He's dangerous. You're not safe with him." Johanna scoffed behind him. He paid no mind to the people around him as his eyes were fixed on Peeta and myself. Bron raised his gun as his two Guardsmen, Jonah and Jace followed suit.

"I'm safer with him than anyone," I said while I took Peeta's hand. I stood in front of him and wrapped it around my waist. His solid arm felt comforting and secure, his solid chest pressed against my back.

"How can you say that? Don't you remember that he once almost killed you?" Gale seethed. "I'm here to make sure you're safe and away from him. He's got a target on his back and you're in the line of fire."

"I'd die for him, Gale," I said. "You can't make me go anywhere with you."

"I'm doing this for your own good," he said with a smug look on his face. "As the First Guardsmen I have the authority to safeguard you from any harm, ill will or any danger to your person. Especially from him." I stiffened in Peeta's arms and forced him back as he moved forward. Gale took a step but halted when Bron spoke from behind me.

"Stop, you are not to take another step, Commander Hawthorne," he said as he aimed his rifle at him.

"How dare you threaten me? I am your commanding officer. I will have you discharged and ruined," Gale fumed.

"Step back. I have the authority to arrest you if necessary. You, Gale Hawthorne are in violation of the protective order to stay clear of Peeta Mellark within a twenty yards distance. You are hereby not to engage, converse or interact with Mr. Mellark as the protective order mandates."

"By who's authority was this ridiculous order given?" Gale yelled.

"By the president herself," Bron stated, a smile graced his face. Gale panted in surprise and anger. "You may be my commanding officer, but I will fulfill my duty to protect Peeta at all cost."

"You will obey me. I am your commanding officer and will do as I say," he repeated.

"My assignment and orders goes through the Office of the President," Bron dictated. "I am assigned to the special division that falls under her office. Her orders supersede your authority over me."

"I was not notified of this," he raged.

"That's not my concern," Bron said in casual tone. Gale took a step forward. "Stand down, sir." Gale's eye burned with fury as he turned back to me. I leaned back to Peeta's chest feeling his beating heart.

"How can you let him touch you?" he shouted. "Look at him. He's a barely man. He's short, peg leg and crazy. Who in the world would want him? He'll kill you one day during one of his episodes. He's not safe to be around anyone."

I shook with anger as he voiced Peeta's insecurities. "He's more of a man than you'll ever be, Hawthorne," Johanna interjected. Her hand gripped her knife as her eye blazed with anger. "And I've known a lot of men in my life."

"Shut up, whore," Gale spat. "Stay out of this." I felt Peeta's anger as I watched his wristband display turned from green to yellow. He was protective of Johanna. Gale knew how to push his buttons. I knew what Gale was trying tot do.

"Pussy," Johanna smirked back. "You're just mad that the better 'man' won Katniss' heart." She sent a smile to Peeta.

"He has more girls falling for him wherever he goes, I assure you," Bron added. "He's not _'short'_ in admirers. Heck, if I was into guys, I'd fuck him myself." I smiled at Bron's comment. Johanna snickered.

"Hell, I'd do him myself if he wasn't so obsessed and _'crazy'_ for Katniss,' Johanna commented. Peeta chuckled as I pouted to her admission.

"Hey, stop talking about my boyfriend," I shouted as Bron and Johanna amused themselves.

"Boyfriend," Gale scoffed. A look of disgust crossed his face.

"Yes, Peeta is my boyfriend," I narrowed my eyes at him. "So as my boyfriend he is allowed to touch me anytime and anywhere he damn please," I said as Peeta leaned and placed a soft kiss on the curve of my neck. I tried not to moan as his lips grazed my skin.

"That's disgusting," Gale bellowed. "How can you let him touch you at all?"

He spat at me, "He's never going to be good enough for you. He's a fucking wimp. I'll wipe his ass all over the fucking ground."

I was about to shout back when a shrill voice interrupted me. "Gale Hawthorne, watch your mouth." Hazelle Hawthorne appeared in the village with Alec Baylor at her side. The two appeared from out of nowhere. They surprised Jonah and Jace as they raised their rifles. The atmosphere went still as the proud diminutive woman's appearance shifted the air around us. I felt as though we were back in school caught by the principal fighting in the schoolyard. I anticipated detention.

"Ma?" Gale gulped and blinked not believing the sight before him. "What are you doing here?" His face was slack with his mouth open in shock and a bit of fear.

"Looking for you," she explained. "Imagine my surprise when I found that my son didn't have the time or decency to inform me that he was home."

"I was going to stop by, Ma," Gale spoke as his shoulders sagged and his demeanor changed to a little boy about to be reprimanded. Big strong Gale Hawthorne caved as his mother berated him. "How did you find out I was here?"

"You're boss, President Paylor called to let me know that her First Guardsmen upped and deserted his job," she explained. "I was surprised and horrified that the president of Panem had called me to reign you in. What are you doing here?" she asked. Besides her, Alec shifted his feet in discomfort at the interaction.

"Um…I was …" he stuttered.

"What did I tell you about bothering Katniss and Peeta?" she said.

"But, Ma," he whined.

"We're leaving," she insisted.

"No," he returned.

"Excuse me? What did you say to me?" She narrowed her eyes and fisted her hands on her hips.

"I'm the First Guardsmen of Panem," he announced. "It's my duty and right to…"

"I don't care if you're president of Panem, you are not welcome here," she screeched.  
"And from what I've just heard, you have no authority either." She pointed to Gale. "You need to come home with me and not make anymore trouble, do you hear me? You owe me and President Paylor an apology for your behavior. It unbecoming for a man with your office." He sighed in resignation and stepped forward but turned addressing Peeta.

"You and me, Mellark," he threatened. "One day, you and I will have words. You can't hide behind him," he pointed to Bron, "and Katniss' skirt forever."

"Yeah, from what I heard he beat your ass the last time," Johanna added. "He can beat the shit out of you any day." He glared at Johanna.

"Fuck you, fuck all of you," he seethed.

"Gale, now" Hazelle insisted. "You are not to speak or behave like that in my company ever, do you hear me?"

"I'm the First Guardsmen," he reiterated.

"Then act like a decent and responsible human being that I raised you to be," she countered. "You're father would be ashamed at your behavior." Gale's face turned white. He loved his father as I loved mine.

"I'm sorry, Ma. You didn't have to embarrass me in front of them," Gale whined as he walked besides her.

"Embarrass you? How do you think I felt when the President of Panem called me and informed that my son went AWOL and…" her voice diminished as they walked further away from the village. Their two figures disappeared in to horizon.

"Wow. Did that just happened?" Bron said as he holstered his gun on his belt. "Did you see the look on his face when his mom showed up."

"Yeah, I thought he was going to pee on his pants," Jace spoke. I recognized him from the night of our date. Jonah nodded his head.

"Well, that was…" I started.

"Embarrassing, humiliating and so fucking hilarious," Johanna supplemented. "That made my day." She scowled when she turned to Alec. "And what are you doing here, Baylor?"

"Oh, um…I knew that Peeta was coming home today so I thought," his voiced trailed as he handed a white box to Johanna. She smelled it and smiled.

"You made Peeta his cheese buns? Thanks." She turned and walked straight back to my home. I noticed how his eyes followed her as she trotted inside the house.

"Thank, Alec," Peeta said as he extended his hand to him. "You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to," he stumbled. "I want to get it right. The ones you made were perfection, you know?" I agreed though they were made with Peeta's recipes, they lacked the taste and texture when he baked them. "Besides, I need the practice for when the bakery is completed."

"I'll give you a heads up when construction starts, Alec," Peeta said. "Thanks again." Peeta turned to me. "I'm going head to Haymitch…"

"No," I interrupted as I grabbed his hand. "Don't. I want you to go over to my place this morning. You didn't eat your breakfast so I want to cook something for you."

"Oh, I was thinking of having some oatmeal and juice," Peeta remarked.

"You are not going to just eat that for breakfast, it's not enough," I insisted as I tugged his hand and headed to my home. "You're going to relax and eat what I make for you and I'm not going to hear another word." I turned to Bron and his guys.

"You're welcome to join us, guys," I added. They looked at each for a moment then sprinted to my house. "You too, Alec."

Peeta sighed as he sat down at the dining table where Johanna proceeded to eat another cheese bun. Alec glanced at her. Peeta had a smile on his face when Alec realized he was caught him staring at his best friend. He blushed.

"Johanna, save some for Peeta. Those were made for him," I scolded her.

"I could make some more for you if you want," Alec addressed my dark hair friend. She shrugged her head ignorant of Alec's look of adoration for her. I recognized that look. It was the same look Peeta sent me whenever he was in my sight. I felt awkward, uncomfortable and a bit angry at the feeling that he awakened in me. How I wished I handled myself better and appreciated his feelings for me then.

Twenty minutes later, I placed a plate in front of Peeta. He winced when he looked down at his plate. I made him bacon, sausage and two pancakes. He looked around and found that everyone prepared their own plate. He had a queasy look about him. "You okay?"

"I'm not hungry right now," he said.

"Please eat Peeta," I begged. "You need your strength." Since getting shot, he lost more weight during his recovery. Staying at the hospital caused more harm than good. "If you can't do it for yourself, do it for me." I knew his weakness, me. Peeta had a tendency to ignore his own needs and welfare. It was a bad habit developed after years of neglect and emotional starvation. What I lacked in physical need he lacked in emotional ones. He picked up his fork and chewed his food. By the time he was done, the guys finished their meal, washed and dried their dishes. Johanna took charge of the clean up. I stayed with Peeta until he polished off his tea.

"Thanks for breakfast, Katniss," Bron said. "The cheese buns are great even if you didn't make them Peeta." Jonah and Jace nodded their heads in agreement. "No offense, Alec."

"None taken," he sighed. "I can't seem to get it just like the way he makes them."

"Regardless, they're awesome," Jonah remarked. "When Bron told me about them, I didn't believe him. They are 'to die for'."

"You're welcome, guys," Peeta smiled at them. "My treat when I open my bakery."

"Oh, by the way, Peeta. Mara Ellory called," Johanna announced. "She wants to know if you're okay to meet tomorrow."

My eyes grew wide. "Who's Mara Ellory?" I asked. 'Who the fuck is Mara and why is she calling Peeta?' my mind cursed.

"She's the contractor for District 12," Johanna explained. "I knew her from District 7 so she's okay." 'What the hell, another woman that Peeta will be in contact with.' I mumbled to myself.

Peeta's hands shook underneath the table where he hid them. I winced when I realized that he still in pain and tired from this morning's ordeal with Gale. He rubbed the top of left leg. "Can she meet today? I really should get started with the blueprints and constructions details."

"Are you sure you're up to it? I mean you just got out of the hospital?" Johanna asked.

"I'm going stir crazy, Johanna," he responded. "I need to…all in my head. I just need to do something."

"If you're sure?" She stood up and picked up the phone in the other room. Bron, Jace and Jonah left to survey the village premises. Alec's eyes lingered as she disappeared. Her voice was soft and barely audible. You can tell she had a connection to Mara with the tone of her voice and the ease of conversation with her.

"I guess, I should get going," Alec admitted with a sigh when he realized that Johanna was not returning. I felt for him. Johanna was oblivious to his glances. Reminded me of someone who was ignorant to the people around her. Either that or Johanna was not interested.

"Thanks again Alec," Peeta stood up and winced. He extended his hand towards Alec who shook his hand.

"Look forward to working with you boss," he cackled. With a second glance towards Johanna he walked out of the house.

"Someone's got an admirer," I said in a wistful tone as we both sat back down. I grabbed his hand needing the security and warmth his touch instilled in me. I just don't long for it I crave it.

"Notice that, did you?" Peeta smirked at me.

"What, I'm not that totally clueless," I pouted.

"Well, I feel for him," he said. "I know what it's like to…" He cut himself off. "I'm I think I'll lie down my leg aches." He said just as Johanna appeared.

"Peeta, Mara said that she can be here after lunch if you're ready to meet with her," she stated.

"Oh, that's great," he returned. "I think I'll go lie down at Haymitch's house."

"No," I asserted. "Why don't we go upstairs for short nap before you meet Mara." I tugged his hand towards my staircase as he sat rigid and still.

Um…I don't think Effie will like me up there with you," Peeta said.

"Effie's not here," Johanna said. "She and Haymitch went to Capitol."

"What's wrong? Why did go back there?" Peeta's eyes were wide like saucers, his lips quivered.

"Nothing's wrong. Her application for Transfer for Residency to 12 was finalized," she explained. "She went back to make final arrangements for the rest of things. Haymitch didn't want her to go alone so he went with her." Peeta sighed in relief. "Once the paper work is done, she'll stay with Katniss until this whole situation is over."

I looked forward to the day we catch Peeta's stalker. I hope that in that time, he would agree to move in with me. My daydream was interrupted once more. "So the house is all yours for the next two days." Johanna winked at me with a smirk on her face.

"Where are you staying?" I asked. I was pleased with the arrangement. I wanted some time alone with Peeta but not at the expense of her safety.

"At my house, silly," she said as she rolled her eyes. "Delly is making up for the time she lost at work and Bron will be staying with her. Jace and Jonah are going to take shift every few hours here at the village." She shifted her feet in front of her. "I confess that I'm not…. They are probably trustworthy but…I don't know these guys."

"I understand, Johanna," I said, relieved that someone else had that concern. I knew that Bron was trustworthy but outside him and everyone else, I can't risk Peeta's life to anyone. Beside me, Peeta yawned. His eyes were soft and sleepy.

"Come on, baby, time for a nap," I said as I pulled him up and led him upstairs.

"Katniss I need to talk to you." Johanna spoke as I groaned in frustration. "Listen, let him get him settled. I won't take too much of your time. This is really important or else we would have talked later." Sighing, I kissed Peeta on the cheek. He lingered for a moment but nodded his head.

"I won't take long I hope," I said missing his presence as he ascended the stairs. "Okay, what's so important that it couldn't wait for you tell me later." My eyes fixed to his figure disappearing from my line of sight.

"I need to talk to you about Eva Perry." My head snapped so fast I cricked my neck.

"What about her? What has she done now?" I said as anger surfaced within me. I hated that woman.

"She tried to visit Peeta early this morning," she continued. "I was restless and unable to sleep so I found my self at the hospital where I found her sneaking around the corridor."

"I can't believe the nerve she has," I spouted. My mind raced with thoughts of Eva sneaking around looking for Peeta after all threats I made towards her.

"Listen, there is something else you need to you know," she added. "I debated whether I should tell you and Peeta but I promised him that I wouldn't keep secrets from him so…I rather that it came from you when you tell hi this."

"What, what else has she done?" I raged.

"It was her that bit Peeta that night at the restaurant," she continued, "Bron first didn't recognize her with the dark wig on but after seeing her yesterday, he's certain that it was her that assaulted him."

I stood up and went to the front on my home ready to leave but remembered that Peeta was waiting for me upstairs. "Where is she? I want to know where she is so I can beat the shit out of her."

"Katniss, Bron took her into custody," she explained. "Listen to me, she was served the protective order for Peeta yesterday but she violated it by turning up at the hospital this morning."

"I don't care," I seethed keeping my voice down. I didn't want to alert Peeta not just yet. "She can't get away from doing this. She just doesn't let up and leave Peeta alone. She hurt him."

"I know, Katniss," she said. "Please believe me I know." I narrowed my eyes at her. She was keeping something else to herself. I felt it.

"What else are you not telling me," I asked in suspicion.

"Listen, Peeta…when we were at the Capitol," she sighed, her hands fisted by her side. "There were things that were done to him…against his will. Things I should not be telling you because it's not my story to tell."

"Please tell me," I pleaded. I wondered about his treatment and torture when he was gone all those months. "It's been killing me not knowing what was done to him…what Snow did to him." I cringed at the thoughts and images that I envisioned and imagined.

"It's not that I can't tell you." Tears brimmed her eyes. I never knew Johanna to be weak or uncertain. This is how she appeared to me just now. "It's too painful to talk about. I witnessed most of his abuse…His cries of pain and anger haunts me."

"I'm sorry if I making you relive it," I said. "He must have seen your torture too."

"It was different with Peeta," she said her eyes sorrowful and lost. "I've been Snowed and assaulted most of my life as a Victor. I'm used to it. But with Peeta, sweet and loving Peeta. It was painful watching them…watching them put the light out of his eyes. Everyday the Peeta that stayed strong and hopeful disappeared before my eyes. After the hijacking even I was afraid of him. He was no longer the boy I held on to for comfort and support. I lost him." She wiped her eyes for a moment. "Eva is too much of a reminder of the clients who…assaulted him. If you haven't noticed by now, Peeta has intimacy issues. Her appearance is making it worse for him to heal."

"So where is she? I hope that's she in jail," I asked.

"I can do you better," she smiled. "She's been banished from 12 and ordered to never return." I sighed in relief but couldn't contain my anger. "Katniss, I know you're with Peeta now. So please be certain if you really want to be with him."

"I am. I want him," I vowed to her. "He's the only one I'll ever want.'

"Then, take my advise with the good intention behind it," she said. "He needs patience, care and a lot of love. His experience with women in the Capitol, well all women tainted him. He's afraid to love, he doesn't believe that he can be loved." I winced. "He loved his mother despite the fact that she treated him like dirt. He loved you…well you know how that turned out." I folded my arms around my waist. "I'm not lecturing or trying to make you feel bad. I blame his mother for not being what he needed. It's amazing what kind of man he turned out to be despite her." She placed a hand on my arm. "Be patient, listen to him and don't run when things get bad."

I nodded my head. Words failed me. I was never good expressing myself with Peeta. My actions of avoidance and denial also spoke for me even when I hadn't meant to hurt him. "Now go to him." My feet felt like stones; my heart heavy. I sighed in disappointment when I found Peeta lying on the bed, clothes on and fast asleep. I curled my body to snuggle against him. Resting my head on his chest, I listened to his light breathing as I watched his chest move. He was alive and safe in my arms.

Hours later, Peeta awoke up right from his surroundings. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," he apologized as he lay back down. I smiled at him and lay my head on his chest. He was warm soft and so comfortable. My own Peeta pillow. "What time is it?"

"A little past one," I informed him. "What do you want to eat for lunch?" I said a few seconds later.

"Ugh, not hungry," he said.

"Peeta!"

"I'm still full," he added. "It took everything in me to not throw up breakfast." I looked at his flush face.

"Bad dreams?" I inquired as I played with his hair on his forehead feeling his warm skin beneath my fingertips. He nodded his head. "Want to talk about it?"

"I think I'm starting to remember," he admitted. "Not completely but small fragments. I don't want to talk about them right now." I felt disappointed and frustrated at his avoidance and denial to help him.

"You might feel better," I said.

"I guarantee you, Katniss," he admitted. "Remembering won't make me feel better." Before I could argue with him, a knocked disrupted us.

"Peeta, Katniss, Mara will be here in an hour," Johanna announced. "I made lunch so when you're ready come downstairs." I grunted when Peeta dislodged himself from my embrace. He walked with a slight gait down the stairs and disappeared into the bathroom. Johanna addressed me as I appeared in the dining room. "Did you guys have a nice nap?"

"He's remembering, Johanna," I stated. "He's remembering what happened to him during his abduction."

"What did he say?" Her brown eyes were wide in surprise and fear.

"Nothing, he didn't want to talk about it." I felt frustrated that he wouldn't talk to me.

"Don't take it personally, Katniss," she comforted me. "It's not something that he'd want to talk about openly, especially to you. Something happened to him, something horrible and painful. If he can't handle it, what makes you think you can?" She was right. I needed to know but was afraid to find out.

"So, what did you make Johanna?" Peeta inquired as he entered the room.

Half an hour later, with Peeta's meal half eaten, he placed his ham and cheese sandwich down on his plate. He barely ate the side salad with carrots and light dressing and half of his cup of rabbit soup. The ham was delicious accompanied with his cheese bun and white spread. Beef was an expensive food source that only the Capitol and upper class citizens could afford. Pork and chicken was next to fish. I was accustomed to the food I hunted and gathered. The ham and cheese was my new favorite with Peeta's cheese buns. Johanna and I ate seven between the both of us to Peeta's one and a half. At least he ate and I smiled for his effort.

Mara came an hour later with gift basket filled with fruit, jelly, cookies and chocolate. It was customary for District 7 to present a gift to her clients. She was pleasant engaging and not fawning over Peeta to my relief. Though she did admit that she was a fan of the Star Crossed Lovers. I flinched at her adoration and praise. I was never going to get used to it.

"All my daughters simply adore you Peeta," she gushed as I scowled at her.

"How many daughters do you have?" Peeta asked. He was charming, lively and sweet even though I knew he tiring and energy zapped.

"Four. Ranging from 12 to 22," Johanna answered. "And all living in District 7." It's a good thing that they are living District 7. I left Peeta in good hands with Johanna and Mara to pack some clothes that he stored at Haymitch's home. He was staying with me until he came back. Peeta was frantic when I told him of my plans of retrieving some clothes for him.

"Peeta, I'm just across the street. I'll have one of the guys with me if you're that worried." My heart lurched with his concern for me.

"Come back soon, okay," he said as he held my hand. I turned to walk away as he held on tight. "Peeta, you got to let go of my hand. The sooner I leave the sooner I'll be back." He kissed the back of my hand and let go. Johanna smirked at me as Mara chuckled to herself.

"True love, how I wished I was young again," she teased.

The door slammed behind me. I reentered my home twenty minutes later with duffel bag in hand with Peeta's clothes and toiletries. He was on his feet as soon as he saw me.

"Hey, I told you I'd be okay," I said as he took me in his arms and held me tight. His heart beat so fast I felt it on my chest pressed against his.

"Thank god you're came back," Johanna exclaimed. "We lost his undivided attention as soon as you left the room. He's been inattentive since then." I smiled as he took my hand and sat next to me at the dining table. For the next hour, Mara, Peeta and Johanna sketched out details and plans for his bakery. I was impressed with Johanna's knowledge with the construction. To my surprise, as a gift from District 12, he was given the additional plot next to the original bakery. Thus, it doubled his floor plan. Not only will Peeta have a bakery but a café space within the building. On the second floor, he planned two have 2 bedrooms, an art studio with a living room, dining and kitchen space. There was also a large size bathroom that would rival the Capitol complete with a shower and bathtub. _'Did he intend to live there after the construction?'_ I asked myself.

"I'll leave the exterior design to you," he stated to Johanna. She smiled and hugged him.

He looked happy and pleased with himself when Mara left with the sketches and notes.

"My daughter Beatrice will finalize the floor plans and get all the specs approved," Mara noted. "She'll contact you as soon as she's done with the blueprints." Johanna laughed at my scowling face upon hearing that 'Beatrice' was working on his 'blueprints. What ever that meant.

At dinnertime, he ate most of his rabbit stew and a cheese bun. "You want the last piece," Johanna asked pointing to the last piece.

I shook my head. "You can have it."

"I thought I would have to fight for it," Johanna teased. I shrugged my shoulders.

"It's okay," I admitted then added. "I mean, it taste good but it's not the same. Maybe I just missed the original baker." I glanced at Peeta. He had a big smile on his face. "What? I can't help it that it just tastes different to me."

"You can tell the difference?" he asked.

"Peeta, not only does it taste different, it looks different. I mean, it's doesn't have the same texture," I noted. "Yours is definitely better."

"I may have given him my cheese bun recipe to help me out," he admitted. "It doesn't mean that I gave him 'the cheese bun' recipe I created after years of perfecting the ingredients. What kind I baker would I be to be giving away my family's secrets?"

He had a smug and proud look about him. It was sheer joy to see him like that even if it was for a few moments.

After dinner, we snuggled together on the coach while we listened to music. With Peeta's arms round me, I didn't mind when he reached over and grabbed Johanna's hand with the other. I couldn't deny Johanna his friendship and comfort. They had suffered so much together. I could share him even for a couple hours of peace and solitude without the drama and chaos that surrounded us.

The TV monitor was not an option since I feared for Peeta's reaction to the evening news. I didn't want anything to set him off. I suppressed my moan as his hands wandered inside my shirt around my waist. Peeta kissed the top of my head. It was the most peaceful and quiet night we shared since date night. I hope to have many more nights like this in the near future.

"So thanks for dinner, Katniss, but I think I'll call it a night. It's been a really long day." Johanna announced as she yawned in emphasis. I couldn't thank her enough for intercepting Eva this morning. I didn't know what I would have done. She crossed the line and assaulted him. I shook my head banishing the anger that simmered whenever I thought of Eva. She would feel my wrath if I ever saw her again.

"Johanna, please stay," Peeta requested. "I don't want you going home to an empty house without Delly and Bron to keep you company."

"I'll be okay Peeta," she insisted. The look of panic and fear etched on his face.

"Please don't go," he begged.

"Johanna, Effie's room is available," I added. I wanted to have the house to ourselves but for Peeta's state of mind, I allowed her to stay over. "You can borrow a pair of sweat and a t-shirt."

"No thanks," she said. "Don't need it." She walked out and headed upstairs.

"What is she going to sleep in?" I pondered out loud.

"She sleeps in the nude," Peeta informed me.

"And you know this because…" I asked and waited for an answer. Peeta had the nerve to smirk at me.

"I'm tired," he diverted my question as he followed her up the stairs. I scowled after him. He wavered at my doorway once he reached my bedroom.

"What's wrong?" I asked and panicked. _'Did he change his mind?'_

"I feel dirty but I can't take bathe or shower yet," he pointed to his bandaged leg. A few days at the hospital and he was up and about, but I never considered how he kept clean. "I need Delly's help."

"What?" I asked. _'Delly, what does he need her for?'_ my mind screamed.

"She usually gives me a sponge bath," he said so casual and nonchalant. I pouted at him, my brow furrowed together. "What? She's my nurse, Katniss."

"And I'm your girlfriend," I reminded him. "You don't need her."

"Katniss," he stumbled. "I'm not comfortable with you taking care of me like this."

"Peeta, I want to," I said.

"You were never comfortable with my nudity before." He turned his head away from me. I placed a hand under his chin. He remembered our hours in the cave during the first games.

"That was before when you weren't my boyfriend," I said. "I like to think that we've reached a level of intimacy that would let us be comfortable seeing each other naked. Not the sex part because I know you're not ready."

"But not like this," he admitted. "I fantasized and dreamt of sharing your bed with you naked but not while I'm hurt and in pain. It doesn't feel right."

"Peeta, we experienced and shared something wonderful a few night ago in the woods," I reminded him. "Giving you a sponge bath…well, isn't that girlfriends do for their hurt boyfriends? Besides, I'm not letting her see you naked if I can help it."

He sighed and relented. I led him to my bed. "Strip, lie down and I'll be right back." My heart hammered against my chest. _'Wow, am I really doing this?_' I mumbled to myself _'Damn right you are because if you didn't Delly will._' I took a deep breath as I filled a basin with warm water and picked up a washcloth. Giddy, excited and nervous I walked into my bedroom and found Peeta sitting upright at the bottom of my bed. "Hey, you need help?" I placed the basin and washcloth on a dresser drawer.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm nervous," he admitted as I watched his lower lip quiver. I lean forward and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

"It's just me. Your girlfriend who wants to take care of you," I whispered.

"Relax." I said as I reached over and unbuttoned his shirt. I was slow and deliberate wanting to appreciate this moment. His shirt slipped off his shoulders with ease and fell on the ground below our feet.

"Up," I requested as he raised his arms and I lifted his t-shirt over his head. He grunted as I took his warm hand and placed it upon my chest. My heart raced so fast. "Feel that? I'm nervous too." He kissed my nose and my forehead.

"Sit down." He leaned back and sat on the bed as I knelt down, removed his shoe and sock. I placed myself between his legs and removed his belt.

"Lift up." I unbuttoned his pants and lowered the zipper. With both hands on his pants I dragged it down to his feet. I smiled to myself as I unwrapped my present as if it was my birthday. _'Oh, boy, Happy Early Birthday to me'_ my heart sang. My breath quicken at the sight of him only wearing his black boxer shorts. I didn't see my Boy with the Bread with a fake leg, injured and hurt. He looked frightened, fragile but solid and beautiful in my eyes. I placed my hands on his upper thighs and stared into his crystal blue orbs. I swore I saw tears as he sniffled. He took my left hand and placed it on his chest right above his heart. The silence between us spoke volumes for what word could express. Peeta then lifted my hand from his chest and kissed inside of my palm.

"Lie down." He scooted backwards and lay on the bed, his eyes never left me as I stood up and retrieved the basin. With the washcloth I first washed his face. With gentle pressure I swiped his cheeks, forehead, nose and chin. "This warm enough?" I asked as I stared at his full lips. He nodded and sighed. I leaned down and kissed him. I took his lower lips between my lips and bit it, not hard. Then I licked it soothing him. He gasped in surprise. I pulled away gauging his reaction. His eyes were closed and he had a small smile on his face. I continued downward and cleaned his neck and shoulders. I traced the washcloth all over his scarred chest with gentle strokes; once completed I kissed his chest over his heart. Next I wiped his arms, his long scars faded vanquishing the memory of that horrifying night. He giggled when I reached his armpits noticing that his hair was removed.

"That tickles," he smiled and opened his eyes. The Boy with the Bread appeared only for a moment then vanished.

"Your hair is gone," I said as I stated the obvious.

"I had them permanently removed after the Victory Tour," he exclaimed. "I got used to it." I had the hair on my legs and armpits removed. It saved me from purchasing razors. I still couldn't get used to being waxed.

"Can you lie on your side?" I asked. "I need to wash your back." Peeta lay on his side favoring his right leg. "Lay back." I turned to him and stared into his worried eyes. "You know that I would never intentionally hurt you?" He nodded his head.

"Okay, lift your hips." My hands shook as I placed them on his boxer shorts and pulled them off his hips. I couldn't help but stared at his long thick cock, as it lay still and inert between his legs. I seen penises before since my mother was a healer and had many patients in our home. I cringed at the odd shapes and size thinking what an ugly looking appendage. How can a man function with that dangling between their legs as they walked, ran and sat down? But this was my boyfriend and his cock was beautiful to me. And 'it' was also mine. This was the feeling I got at the cave with injured Peeta beside me. Little did I realize that we would once again be in this same position, but in different circumstances with him fully naked before me. I pondered how 'that' was going to fit inside me and it wasn't even erect. Excitement and desire bubbled in my belly. I was so engrossed and fascinated that I didn't realize that Peeta had tears in his eyes. Blinking a couple of times, I shook my head from my lusty thoughts. Now was not the time.

I washed his legs from thighs to toes with not so much as a word between us. He whimpered as the washcloth passed on his left thigh. I kissed his leg right above the bandage. "Shh, Peeta, you are beautiful and handsome now as you were then," I said.

His breath hitched as he tried to contain his tears from falling. I kissed him once more. "Hey, its me, Peeta. Open your eyes." Blue eyes appeared brimmed with tears. "There is nothing ugly about you, not with your beautiful and generous heart that loved me even when I didn't deserve it. One missing leg won't make me change my mind about you." I knew he was comparing himself to 'him.' His appearance this morning only validated Peeta's insecurities as 'he' stood tall, proud and whole. I heard rumors of the women he bedded in District 2. I was happy for him hoping his 'obsession' with me was over. I was wrong as he appeared at my doorstep claiming to save me from Peeta. This thought angered me for a second.

"Katniss," he sighed as I leaned over and kissed him, placing my hands on his cheeks while I rubbed his lips with my thumbs. From his duffel bag, I retrieved a pair of dark blue boxer shorts. He lifted his hips as I dressed him. I was both disappointed and relieved for I didn't think I could handle sleeping besides him, naked.

After a few minutes of drying him off, I stood upright and in slow pace I undressed in front of him. His eyes tracked down my body as skin appeared and clothes piled on my feet. I wore a simple dress with a zipper in the back that opened with ease. Thank god for Delly's foresight when she pushed me to buy this dress. I would have felt awkward and inadequate had I struggled with buttons to undress myself in front of him. I needed more practice. My fingers and hands trembled as I unsnapped my bra. He had a look of appreciation and adoration in his eyes as he licked his lips while staring at my harden nipples. I guarantee it wasn't due to the cool air. With enough gentleness I could muster, I crawled over him as I straddled his right leg mindful of his injured one. My hair curtained around his face. He sighed as he kept his eyes at my breasts. I kissed him opening my mouth to trace my tongue over his. He opened his mouth and sucked at my tongue. A gush of moisture pooled between my legs. I was wet with the mere touch of his kisses and his talented tongue. My desire to press my clothed center over his leg was quelled as I remembered that he was still injured and hurt. I also remembered Johanna's sound advice to not pressure or push him. I leaned over his right side and placed my head on his chest straddling my right leg over his right; my chest pressing into his side. My last thoughts were that this is what I missed all those months when he was in the Capitol. I swore we would never part like that ever again.

* * *

**Delly POV –**

Those two are going to make me cry again. I should order a lifetime supply of tissues for me to carry whenever I see them together. I made the mistake of not carrying a camera with me one day when Peeta received a visitor.

It's been a few days since coming home from the hospital. I observed Peeta and Katniss as she clung to him every waking moment. Haymitch reprimanded her for being too clingy.

"Katniss, give the boy a break," he scolded her. "I know you mean well but don't smother him."

"I'm not smothering him, am I?" she turned to me. "I just…he was shot and I'll never forget the image of him falling on the ground in front of my eyes."

"Oh, leave her alone, Haymitch," I said to him. "Of course, she's going to be 'clingy' with him. I was there too, you know. Besides, Peeta doesn't seem to mind." I winked at her.

Haymitch grunted. "Well, don't come crying to me when he throws you out." Since returning without Effie he's been grouchy and short with everyone. Maybe she missed her. Hm…

"Not going to happen, Haymitch," I added. "He's been pining for her for years, wanting her attention. He's never going to complain about her being with him." Haymitch left in a huff. "So…Katniss, how are things between you two?" I asked Katniss as she looked at the clock for the umpteenth time. "Hey, he's only meeting Beatrice and Mara for an hour. Bron will bring him back safe and sound."

"That's not what's worrying me," she grumbled. "I should have gone with him."

"Oh, Katniss, when are you going to realize that Peeta only wants you," I cackled as I guessed her worry and concern. "Anyway, I think that the hickey you left on his neck would let everyone know who he belongs to." She gasped in embarrassment. I flicked a finger on the base of neck and shoulder. "Seems to me he gave as good as he got." I noticed a large bruise on her skin. In the morning Katniss appeared refreshed and happy while Peeta was quiet and subdued. It was obvious that they weren't not 'just sleeping' anymore. I'm going to have to take her under my wing and teach Katniss how to hide hickeys given to us from our very passionate boyfriends who like leaving souvenirs on our skin.

For the next few days, Peeta was busy and was occupied for the former Reaping day, now known as Remembrance Day. He volunteered baking the cake and bread for the event. He and Alec disappeared for most of the day and returned tired but content. Sae suggested that Katniss could contribute by hunting for some squirrel or rabbit. She declined in a polite but firm manner. Johanna finally asked Katniss why she had not returned to hunting.

"I think I've killed enough for a lifetime, Johanna," she responded. "Those days are over. I don't need to survive anymore." For the better part of the day she would was glued to Peeta's side, helping and assisting in any capacity by preparing lunch or helping him prepare for the event. He tired easy and was forced to nap for an hour each afternoon with Katniss always by his side. She feared for his safety and panicked when he is out of her line of sight. She assisted Sae in preparation for her chicken stew.

So back to my rant on the day I was ill prepared for not having my camera. However, I was prepared with a tissue when Peeta's visitor arrived one afternoon when he was stressing and having a bad day.

"I don't know if I can do this…there's so much to do and Remembrance Day is in two days," he stressed as he rubbed the back of his neck and closed his eyes.

Katniss reached over and massaged back. "Peeta, slow down. Don't stress yourself," she comforted him. They came back for lunch with Jace and Bron who escorted them home. Bron looked worried as Peeta was hunched over, elbows on his knees.

"I can't help it. The construction on the bakery starts tomorrow. I have to bake the cake and the bread for the whole of District 12. The train arrived and I'm still short on flour for both the cake and bread," he ranted. His left leg shook as he rubbed the upper part of his thigh. I glanced at his wristband and the display turned orange. Katniss was close to tears unable to comfort him. Someone came knocking on the door, it startled us that Bron stood up and opened it. I saw the visitor standing with flowers in her hands. I smiled.

"Peeta, you have a visitor," I announced as I waved at her and her companion.

"I'm not fit for company right now," he said as he palmed his eyes. Katniss smiled as she recognized his visitor.

"Peeta," Tamryn voiced. There she stood in the pink dress he bought for her months before with daisies in her little hands. "Peeta," she screamed as she ran into his arms surprising him. "I was so scared. I went to hospital with Granma and they wouldn't let me see you." Her lips trembled as she cried in his arms. Her little arms were wrapped tight around his neck as she sat on his lap.

"Hey, don't cry, Tamryn How's my best girl doing?" he said as he rubbed his hand up and down her back. "Hello, little girl." She smiled as she gave her little bouquet to him. "For me?" She nodded. "Thank you. They're lovely." He said as he placed them on the coffee table in front of him.

"Are you mad at me" she said as she tucked her head under his chin. Peeta winced and turned his eyes towards Sae.

"No, sweetie. Why would you think that?" Peeta's eyes grew wide.

"Granma said that you were busy and I shouldn't bother you," she cried. "If I promise to be good and be quiet, can I stay with you today. I miss you so much."

"I've missed you too sweetie," he said as he placed a tender kiss on her forehead. He let her sob on his chest for a few minutes until she settled down. "I'm really happy to see you." It was evident in his eyes as he smiled at her. "I'm baking cake for Remembrance Day, you will be there right?"

"I'm going with Granma. She said I could wear my favorite dress. Can I help you make the cake?" she asked as her eyes brighten.

"Not this time. But you know I'll save you a big piece," he said as he leaned over and whispered in her ear while he glanced at Sae. "I'm making your favorite cookies. Don't tell Granma because she'll get made at me." He winked at Sae as she pretended to not hear them.

Tamryn giggled and kissed Peeta's cheek. She noticed Katniss as she held his free hand. The other was around Tamryn's waist.

"Is Katniss your girlfriend?" she asked as she cupped her hand to Peeta's ear. He nodded his head as Katniss smiled at her.

"Oh," Tamryn returned her as she pouted her lips. Katniss eyes grew wide. "So you're her boyfriend?"

"Yup," Peeta emphasized as he kissed Katniss' hand. Tamryn giggled.

"Ewww…does that mean you kiss her on the mouth," she asked her nose scrunched. Both Katniss and Peeta blushed. "Boys are icky. Rickie Abbot kissed me and it was yucky. I was so mad I kicked him in the leg."

"The school principal gave her a time out for an half an hour," Sae laughed. "Rickie came over to apologize by giving her a cookie and now they're friends."

"Oh, poor Rickie. I feel for him," he teased. "You should be nice to him because who knows one day he may be your boyfriend." I laughed as Katniss pouted at him.

"Nah uh, boys are icky," Tamryn continued. "They're dirty and smell funny. Rickie spits at me when he talks." Peeta laughed. "Peeta, I miss my mommy and daddy."

"I know, sweetie. I miss mine too," he sighed.

"Peeta, can you be my daddy?" she asked with a sad and hopeful look in her face. "Then I can live you with you forever." She sniffled as she wrapped her hands around his neck while she laid her head on his shoulders. Peeta sat stock-still. His eyes were misty. "I love you so much and I wish you were my daddy so you can walk me to school and you can read me a story and tuck me in bed."

Peeta looked at Sae. There were tears in her eyes. "Listen, I would love to be your daddy, but that can't happen."

"Why not, you'll be the best daddy ever," she pronounced. I sobbed onto a tissue as Bron wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "Don't you want to be my daddy?"

"Geez, even seven year old little girls fall for him," he teased. I elbowed him in the chest. I remembered the night at the Capitol when Peeta confessed his desire for a wife and a family.

* * *

_Flashback – _

_I was making my rounds when I heard crying coming from Peeta's room. Concerned I walked through the door and found him in the corner of the room. His back was against the wall with his knees upraised. His arms wrapped around his leg as he leaned his head on his knees. "Peeta, are you hurt?"_

_Startled, he swiped an arm over his red, puffy eyes. "I'm okay, Delly. I didn't hurt myself." It's been a month since his stay at the hospital. In those first few weeks he was on suicide watch. He struggled between his nightmares and episodes. Each day he was gaining his memories, getting better, but the same time got worse as he grew depressed and was inconsolable. I sat next to him and took his trembling hand into mine._

"_You're going to get better, Peeta," I said. "You just need to take one day at a time."_

"_I'm never getting out of here," he bawled. "And even if I did, where would I go?"_

"_Home," I answered. "Back to 12."_

"_I have no home, no family," he cried. "I lost everything. I lost…her." I wasn't surprised that he spoke about Katniss. He never mentioned her name often but his thoughts were always about her._

"_She's waiting for you back in 12," I stated. "You need to get better."_

"_She hates me…I'll almost killed her. I lost her forever." He bit his lip trying to stop the tears from his eyes from falling. "I'll never have a wife and family. Who would want me now?" 'I do,' The thought rattled in my head. 'All the broken pieces of you I still want.' But he loved Katniss even with his hijacked mind. He leaned over and placed his head on my lap. He continued to cry for a few minutes then fell asleep._

_End of flashback –_

* * *

"When I was little I imagined that one day when I have a little girl, I hope that she would be just like you," he said. "I imagined that I would braid her hair and I'd make her favorite cookies."

"She would be very lucky to have you as her daddy," Tamryn said.

"No, sweetie, I would be the lucky one," Peeta smiled. He kept his eyes on her while Katniss stared at his profile. There were tears in her eyes as she witnessed the two converse with each other. "Since I can't be your daddy, you still be my best girl."

"Okay and you would be my best friend. Just don't tell Jamie 'cause she's my other best friend in school. She'll get jealous," she whispered her secret to Peeta. Bron snickered while Katniss beamed at him. With the three of them together, you would have thought that they were a family with Tamryn's dark hair and gray eyes. She was looked exactly like Katniss at that age. She could pass to be her daughter. I bawled into Bron's chest so moved to tears. I envisioned Peeta and Katniss' future with little Everdeen-Mellarks running around calling me 'Aunt Delly.' Maybe they'll be best friend with my own children. I blushed at the thought of marrying Bron.

"Why is Delly crying?" Tamryn said in concern.

"Because I'm happy," I answered her. "I cry when I'm happy, Tamryn."

"You're weird," she said as I continued to laugh and cry at the same. Yup, I think I'll invest in buying a ton of tissues for the rest of my life.

Haymitch POV –

'_I need a drink,'_ I mumbled to myself, _'I need a drink bad.'_ Peeta took a phone call with Dr. Aurelius hours ago. He has yet to reappear from his phone call. I can't keep my leg from shaking. It's a nervous tick I developed right after I stopped drinking. I think the medical term is 'the shakes.' Though I don't regret giving up alcohol it was the withdrawal that nearly killed me. Dr. Aurelius was surprised when I told him about my new sobriety. Asking if was serious this time; he sent a serious of pills and herbs for me to take. It tasted disgusting and vomit-inducing.

I was surprised that Peeta volunteered to call him. Kara had clearly explained his options before he was released. For days he was quiet and it worried me. He made great efforts to eat to build his strength, but I think it was just to appease the girls' mind. He loved all of them and would anything to make them happy even at his own expense. I caught him throwing up one evening after dinner. He said he couldn't stomach the amount he ate that it made him throw up. I kept his secret knowing that he was trying for them, especially for Katniss. I even joked about the new status in their relationship.

"Girl on Fire finally earned her reputation, Peeta?" I teased him. He looked back puzzled and confused. "You should hide those," I pointed to his neck, "if you don't want to embarrass Katniss. Because once Delly and Johanna sees those, you'll never hear the end of it." I winked at him. He blushed.

"I look and touch them, Haymitch," he said in a serious tone. "The marks anchors my mind to the present. I see and feel them letting me know they are real. That she gave them to me." I notice that she has a couple on her neck too. I resisted the urge to tease her since I value my life.

"Didn't know you were such a perv, Peet," I laughed at him, happy that Katniss made her move. Peeta looked at me. I waited for him to smile and joke around; he didn't. _'He was serious,'_ I registered in my head.

"You're remembering," I said in fear and horror.

"Bits and pieces," he admitted. "The only problem is that…my memories I can't tell if they were from the abduction or my time at the Capitol." Thus, a talk about his relationship with Katniss led to his phone call with Dr. Aurelius. He delayed the call for a day or two because he became busy in preparation for Remembrance Day. However, what really pushed him to call was his visit with Tamryn. After the visit that night, he went straight to bed, without dinner and didn't get up until the next morning. Katniss cried for hours when he became unresponsive and unapproachable. I scolded him for his ill treatment of her. Hours later, he locked himself in one of the rooms with a phone in his hand. I knew that there was only one person he could have called, Dr. Aurelius. Delly, Johanna and Bron sat around Katniss, comforting her. She was pale and couldn't stop the tears from falling.

"At least he's talking to Dr. Aurelius, Katniss," Delly stated.

"I know, but I wished that he didn't freeze me out," Katniss wailed. "I want to help him and he won't let me. Why won't he talk to me?" She wrapped her arms around her waist. Her eyes were puffy as her lips quivered. I haven't seen her like this since District 13.

"Katniss," Peeta's voice was soft and low. He appeared disheveled with his clothes wrinkled and shirt untuck on one side. I cringed at the sight of his bare foot and metallic leg. Damn the Capitol for taking so much of him. His hair was tousled and his eyes were red. She stood up and ran to him, grabbing him around the waist.

"Peeta," she bawled.

"I'm sorry, Katniss, he said he wrapped his arms around her tight. "I didn't mean to be so cold. I…sometimes when I get inside my head, I can't get out." She looked at him puzzled. I didn't understand myself. Johanna and Delly clearly knew what he was talking about. "So I called Dr. Aurelius and he helped me."

"I could have helped you," she insisted. "I want to help you. You have to let me in." She grabbed the front of his shirt. Then, she kissed him hard. "You can't let me be with you when things are only okay, we have to be able to be with each when things go bad too." She was babbling but I knew what she meant. They both had the tendency to freeze each other out when things were going bad to protect each other. That is not how a relationship works. "We protect each other, but we also support and comfort each other too."

"I'm sorry," he repeated.

"Don't ever do that again," she seethed then grabbed his head and kissed him with a little more gentleness than the last. Delly sighed and whispered to Bron about something and I heard her say 'I'm jealous.' He grunted in response. Johanna had a big smile on her face. Their kiss lasted for a few minutes that I coughed. They parted blushing red with lips glistening and eyes dazed. They had eyes only for each other.

"Okay, so then I think that you should know what I decided," he announced. I gulped and held my breath. I knew that his talk with Dr. Aurelius wasn't a session but a consultation. He was deciding what he's going to do. "The day after Remembrance Day, I'm going to have my session with Dr. Aurelius. He's going to help me remember."

Delly and Johanna gasped in fear. Katniss broke down in tears. Bron and Peeta stared into each other's eyes as Peeta nodded to him. "Kara will be there to assist him. And if Bron and Haymitch will agree I want them to be there too."

"Of course, Peeta," I agreed. "Anything you want or need, I'll be there."

Bron nodded his head. "Me too, Peeta. Me too," he reiterated.

"Katniss," he turned to his girlfriend.

"Why," she asked, her body trembled. "Why now when you're physically not ready and weak?"

"I have to do this," he insisted.

"But why now?" she argued. "Why is it so important to you? Why risk it now?"

"Because I want a future," he said his voice clear and firm. He placed both hands on her cheeks cupping her face as he stared into her eyes. "I want a future with you without anything or anyone triggering me. I can't have this part of my life hanging over my head. Hanging over us. The uncertainty is killing me. And most of all, I want you…I need you and I need to be uncluttered in mind and spirit."

"What about your treatment?" Delly asked.

"I've postponed it until further notice," Peeta answered. "I can live with this." He raised his left arm with the wristband. "When I'm mentally and physically prepared I'll risk the treatment. Kara says that my body and my body can only handle one thing at the time. I need to do this for me." He turned to Katniss. "And for you." Katniss wailed in his arms, Johanna had tears in her eyes.

"'I'm proud of you Peeta," she said as she wrapped her arms around Peeta and Katniss.

"Group hug," Delly screeched as she grabbed Bron and me into Johanna, Peeta and Katniss' embrace. I grunted as Bron laughed at his girlfriend's exuberance. I wish Effie were here.

We sat down a few minutes later. We are all exhausted in mind and body. "One more thing I need to tell you," Peeta added while he rubbed his hand over Katniss back. She was crying but happy as she hiccupped to contain her emotions. "Dr. Aurelius says that I have to go back to the hospital, back to the Capitol for my session."

"What?" Delly and Johanna screamed.

"You can't leave me," Katniss hollered as she wrapped her arms around Peeta's neck. Fresh tears tracked down her face. "You can't leave. What if something happens to you?"

"Shh, Katniss. I told Dr. Aurelius that I wouldn't agree to going back unless…" he hesitated for a second, "you come with me." Katniss' eyes grew wide, her mouth opened. She was speechless. "Will you come with me?" She nodded her head.

"Will all of you come with me," he asked as he eyed Delly, Johanna, Bron and myself. The answer was a unanimous 'yes.'

'Thank you," Peeta said. "I wouldn't, couldn't do this without all of you."

So the day after Remembrance Day we returning to the Capitol. I knew in consensus that Johanna, Katniss and Peeta wouldn't dare set foot back in the Capitol. But this is for Peeta. In two days time, we will pack our bag and enter the Belly of Beast. To the place that held all the horrifying memories and events that scarred and haunted all of us. The odds WIIL BE in our favor.

_**AN: Thank you for reading this chapter. I hoped you enjoyed it. Have a great Memorial Day weekend.**_


	28. Chapter 28 - Evil Follows Where Angels

Chapter 28 – Evil Follows where Angels Tread

_AN: Wow, thanks to Trude, LACR, kamjam, 7771, Tea4e, KT, Aqua Rules and guest [s]. Your comments and reviews are appreciated. They mean a great deal to me. This chapter will earn its M rating with sexual, violence and torture. Please read no further if you are offended. Writing violence and sexual abuse is not my kind of thing to write but necessary for the plot. Please forgive me for the graphic description and any mistakes found. It was not easy to write. On with the show…_

* * *

**Haymitch POV – **

The change in Peeta was immediate and promising. The next two days he concentrated on the Remembrance celebration, testing new ingredients and baking up a storm. Each day he rose early providing breakfast for everyone including his new buddies, Jace and Jonah. Katniss and Johanna are still weary by their presence that he was never alone with them. My home and Katniss' smelled like a bakery. Each delicacy he baked brought back memories of District 12 before the rebellion. There were moments that Peeta stood still, his eyes dazed and fists clenched. The memory of his family was bittersweet. _'Not real, not real,'_ he whispered to himself.

The mayor gave him permission to use the school's new cafeteria kitchen. He wanted to make a cake to commemorate the first anniversary of the last reaping.

"It's like a rebirth of a new day, a new era without anymore reapings," Peeta spoke, with flour on his cheeks. "Happy 'No More Reaping' Day," he joked. He was giddy with excitement of his new task. All day he was occupied in the kitchen. He rose early and came home just in time for dinner. By the time he was done, he had the markets and townspeople volunteering to store enough dessert to feed an army. I've never seen look so happy and please with himself.

His visit from Tamryn and Sae was a godsend. I was grateful for Dr. Aurelius for what he said to Peeta but he corrected me. It wasn't Dr. Aurelius that Peeta spoke to that convinced him to attend his session, but Annie Cresta. To our shock and surprise he explained that he spoken to Aurelius briefly when he imparted that Peeta leave for the Capitol immediately foregoing the celebration. Peeta balked at the idea. He made a promise to Tamryn that he would be there. It was a promise he meant to keep. Though he didn't reveal the conversation with Dr. Aurelius, it was enough to change Peeta's outlook and spirit. There were traces of Peeta that reminded me of him before the arenas.

Neither did he discuss the long hours he spoke with Annie. His friendship and kinship with her brought him back to life.

"The Capitol almost took my life and everything from me," Peeta stated. "I'm not giving them the satisfaction of taking anymore." He stood before me eyes determined and posture erect. There was a gleam in eyes that was not there before, a fire lit inside him.

The only downside was that President Paylor had allowed cameras and the media at District 12 for the celebration. Katniss was livid and angry. Paylor had even asked if The Star Crossed Lovers appear on camera and give a speech. Panem wanted to hear from the MockingJay. Katniss refused.

"I never want to appear before camera and give a speech ever again," she concluded. However, Paylor _'recommended'_ that Peeta prepare a _'few words' _to appease the masses that were still enamored with Everdeen and Mellark, the two tributes that Panem favored. Effie volunteered to assist Peeta with a speech, which he refused. In a lighter note, I dared to brighten the moment by teasing Peeta and Katniss with their newfound nocturnal activity. For two nights in a row there were screams coming from her house. The first time it happened, everyone and I mean everyone, barged into her home expecting the worse.

I ran to the second floor, slammed the door open to find naked Katniss astride pajama-clad Peeta. Her arms behind her using it for leverage as Peeta held her back while sucking her erect nipple. Katniss jumped apart when she heard the door bang behind me. They were both breathing hard as she moved off of him while he looked dazed from the interruption.

"What the hell, Haymitch. Get out," she screamed, her face flush and red as Peeta, ever the gentleman covered her with a sheet. She clutched the ends with both hands as she wrapped herself behind Peeta who appeared embarrassed. Johanna, Delly, Bron, Jonah and Jace came to a complete stop as they rushed to her bedroom behind me.

"Are they okay? What's going on?" Delly asked in fear. She wore a matching pink shorts and shirt set. It was a complete contrast to Johanna who wore a tight black and panty ensemble. Blue and brown eyes grew in amusement and delight at the sight in front of them. While blue eyes twinkled, brown eyes smirked in amusement. Me, I wanted to bleach my eyes out.

"Oh, for fuck's sake. I thought you guys were in trouble," I returned as I scrunched my eyes close trying to wipe the image from my mind. If I was inclined to watch porn, there are hundreds of channels to amuse myself in the privacy of my own home. Naked Katniss and Peeta, ugh.

"Well, we're not and just get the hell out of my room," Katniss screeched with embarrassment and anger. Peeta wrapped his arms around her.

"Katniss, it's okay," he soothed her. "It's just a misunderstanding. Can you guys leave now? We're okay." His hair was tousled and eyes clear. Katniss buried her face between his shoulder blades.

"Everyone head out," Bron instructed as he pushed Jonah and Jace out of the room. He winked at Peeta sending him a thumb up. Delly giggled. Johanna had a big smile of her face.

"Don't forget the condoms," she teased. "And Katniss, girl talk tomorrow. I want details."

"Eww, shut up Mason," I cringed. Peeta laughed. Katniss groaned. "Hey, Mellark, next time, shut your window or teach your girlfriend to be quiet." I pointed at wide open window as moonlight filtered in the room. _'Damn kids, scaring the shit out of_ _me.'_ I muttered to myself.

"Get out," Katniss screamed as she threw a pillow hitting square me in the back. I laughed all the way back to my home as I turned around facing her home one last time. Peeta shut the window closed, smiling as still naked Katniss wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him hard pulling away from the opening. Yup, things are definitely looking up.

* * *

**Eva Perry POV – **

I edged my way through the crowd in hope to find my true love. Tonight's event was held in the center of District 12's township. All the stores and offices were closed for the whole day. The citizens were busy preparing for this night celebration. I've been edgy and listless all day. Waiting. That's when I saw him. He's so beautiful in a white crisp shirt and dark blue slacks with a matching jacket. 'She' stood beside him wearing an awful dark orange dress that was too dark for her complexion and hair color. It didn't compliment her. She ceased to exist as I watched him climb onto the platform.

I missed him so much. I felt humiliated and angry as three Guardsmen escorted me to the train two days ago. I was forced to leave the love of my life behind. How was he supposed to heal without me? This was all a misunderstanding. I would never harm Peeta. He's my soul mate. He and I are the Star-Crossed Lovers for it was fate and destiny that has brought us together. Born ten years my junior and in District 12, we still found each other. I remembered the first time I saw him. He wore a tight blue suit and dark shoes. His hair was slicked back, eyes so blue and a smile that melted my heart and my legs trembled. I dreamt of running my fingers through his blond locks. My heart skipped a beat when his eyes met mine. The camera couldn't do justice to his beautiful crystal blue eyes. I swore he hypnotized and mesmerized me. I lost all power of speech and will. I knew he was meant for me not that silly child, Katniss Everdeen. His boyhood crushed I easily dismissed for once he is mine he'll love me forever. He needs a woman's touch and experience to make him a man; my man and the father of our children. No silly girl should taint his bloodline. We are destined to be together.

Sneaking back into 12 was not as hard as I anticipated. Men are such fools. A promise of sex and they are your willing slave. Peeta will appreciate my sacrifice and devotion. What's his name…Tony…Tony helped me sneak back into 12 posing as his wife. His assignment at 12 with the Guardsmen made him the perfect choice. Breaking his neck in the midst of sex was easy. Hiding his body was a different matter. My plan to reunite with Peeta was my first priority. It would take a couple of days for anyone to find Tony's body. Peeta and I will be gone by then if things go according to plan. I made sure to purchase the necessary drug to make Peeta come with me willingly. This plan will not fail.

My head itched and burned from the new tint, dark brown. My hair is shorter than I am accustomed to. I was tired of wearing the wig to cover my blond locks since I now know he prefers the darker shade. Re-coloring my eyes from blue to gray was expensive but necessary. The green contacts made my eyes water after hours of use. Peeta was worth every cent I paid. He will appreciate and reward me for my diligence. I just hope Everdeen is not in the way. She is a high profile victor. Any harm to her will have the whole of Panem after me. Killing her would be a last resort if she got the in way of my plans.

I wore Peeta's favorite color, blue to match the color of our eyes. It's skin-tight in the right places accentuating my womanly curves and assets. We matched as if we coordinated our attire. We make a beautiful couple with our blond hair and blue eyes. I can't wait to see our children. What he saw in Everdeen, I didn't want to know. She doesn't matter.

I gritted my teeth as I discovered Peeta and 'her' in the platform. Johanna and Haymitch right walking right behind them. He's handsome as ever. I curved my temptation to grab him away from her. I will wait patiently for the moment to make my move. To my surprise President Paylor herself has appeared at District 12. Her speech went on and on…blah, blah. I tuned her out as I focused on Peeta as he sat so close to Katniss holding her hand. Why they pretend to be in love is beyond me? I knew she never loved him. He deserved to loved and adored. I have cherished my time with him at the Capitol. Too bad he was abducted before the auction. He would have been mine by now. My first attempt to reunite with him was thwarted when the guards found me in the hospital back in the Capitol. It took weeks to find my way to District 12 as hospital clerk at the Emergency Room. I was patient then realizing that Peeta needed time to recover. His well fare was important to me. I bid my time but now I losing patience.

Since Everdeen's declaration during the baking competition, I knew that I was losing Peeta to her wiles and charm. She had them all fooled even my Peeta. It's time that I took back what is rightly mine. I had my chance but it as short-lived. Those few hours together only solidified my need to cure him from his obsession with 'her.' I recalled those hours of our closeness and intimacy. How I longed for him to finally take me and make his forever. I predict that he will fulfill my needs and every fantasy of our sex life. I grew hot and agitated thinking about his glorious cock pounding inside me. I'm startled from my reverie when Peeta stood up and approached the podium.

"Ladies and gentleman, let me present to you Mr. Peeta Mellark," Paylor announced after her long-winded speech of peace and prosperity for Panem. Her words ceased to interest me as my lover walked to the podium. He glanced for a moment in to the crowd, his eyes squinted as lights blinded him. "Traitor," someone yelled. There was mixture of adoration and angry shouts from the crowd. The shouts escalated as people around me grew agitated and disruptive.

"Good evening District 12 and Panem," he started but stopped, as the crowd grew angrier.

The new Guardsmen appeared surrounding the platform, as Peeta remained silent and uneasy. His face was flushed as he blinked several times. My heart reached out to him. I felt angry for their treatment of Peeta. It was all 'her' fault. Johanna started for him when Haymitch laid a hand on her arm when 'she' walked over to him and cupped her hands on each cheek. I couldn't hear them as she spoke to him whispering into his ear. He shook his head. I smiled when I noticed his ears still sporting the diamonds I injected into his lobes; my gift still in his possession. He loves me. Everdeen took his hand and turned to the crowd. Peeta stood by her.

"Panem, hear me," she said her voice shook. The crowd stood still as people turned to her attention. I didn't understand how she could mesmerize an entire nation when she lacked presence and charm. Not like my Peeta whose smile and words captivated Panem during the interviews and Victory Tour. I remembered her propos and thought how awkward and uninspiring she was as the symbol of the rebellion. Damn her for ruining the perfect life I led in the Capitol. I lost everything because of her including Peeta.

"My name is Katniss Everdeen. I stand here before you not as your MockingJay but as a girl who survived a two Reapings. Today is the anniversary of the last and final Reaping that took so many lives. So many deaths and families torn apart by one man and his need for power and subjugation over a country and people he should have protected and governed." She paused as she turned to Peeta. "This day will forever be imprinted in our mind and hearts for the children who lost their lives. I am lucky to stand here today with my co-Victor Peeta Mellark. I would not have survived without him. If there is one person you should thank today for the peace and prosperity we have earned, it is this man beside me. He was and is my inspiration and strength. I would not be here today without him. I may be the MockingJay but today I stand before you as girl in love with the boy who captured her heart." She stepped back as Peeta hugged her. I scoffed at her pretense. Why continue the charade? The crowd cheered and hollered in praise chanting 'Peeta, Peeta.' He moved towards the podium after kissing her cheek. 'She' blushed as she gripped his hand.

"Panem, today is the day to put away our grieves, bitterness and resentment. Today is the day we should celebrate for there will be no more children taken away from their homes and their families to be used for sport and entertainment. I implore you to reach inside yourself and remember this day everyday when you find yourself angry at the world, jealous at your neighbor and resentful for what you lack in comfort. You are alive and will continue to strive in a free and new world. You and your children will live while others died. Don't let their sacrifice be wasted with your petty grieves and hate. Live and love your family and friends for they are the true treasure and purpose to our lives. Remember this day, Panem and never forget that the odds were in our favor today, tomorrow and for the rest of your lives." The crowd went wild. My heart swelled with pride. Music blared in the air as Katniss and Peeta stood together with hands raised above their heads. After a few minutes, they were bombarded with people and reporters that I couldn't reach him.

During the course of the evening, a few Guardsmen created a barrier around them. Every time a news reporter or cameramen were in inches of Peeta and Everdeen, they were confronted with a Guardsmen. They erected a protective wall for the group. To my disgust Everdeen never left Peeta's side. He was always in company with Effie Trinket, Delly and Johanna. He was never alone. My annoyance grew when a small dark hair child appeared and joined their group. Two other men besides Bron were always besides him and Everdeen. He never left my line of sight, as they were too oblivious of my presence.

The smell of food filled the air. Music surrounded us as the citizens of 12 danced around me. I envisioned our wedding quiet and private with just the two of us alone in the world making a vow to love and cherish each all the days of our lives. I would fasten the matching necklace I designed on his neck. Then after feasting with the best food and wine that the Capitol could offer we would make love all night long. My love will 'cure' him. I would educate him the art of sex, as he would be my willing slave and I his queen. It would be hot, passionate and glorious as our screams and moans echo until sunrise.

I swore he looked straight at me when I realized that he's a bit tipsy. All night he would lay a hand on Everdeen's back, waist and shoulders. My anger grew as I caught him placing a loving kiss on her neck. She blushed and smiled back at him. She didn't deserve him. She even convinced him to dance with her. I need to get him away from her soon.

An hour later I'm bored and frustrated. I can't get near Peeta without alarming his friends of my presence. I took a chance for a bite to eat since I've been nervous all day. The cheese buns were delicious. I wondered if he'd make me my favorite, Strawberry Tart for me everyday when we're married? I would lather his body with the tasty morsel all over his skin and lick him to oblivion. The night continued with the revelry and celebration. He bade farewell to the annoying dark hair child, kissing her cheek as her carried in his strong arms. Everdeen walked over to Bron and whispered in his ear. He nodded to 'her' and winked at her. She then took him hand and led him away from the festivities as Bron ambled behind them. He walked a close and safe distance between, looking out at the crowd to intercept anyone who neared them. A drunken reveler tried to grab Everdeen but Peeta placed himself between her shoving him away. He made a lewd remark when Peeta grabbed his arm, bent it behind his back. He forced him to apologize to 'her' then pushed him on the ground. His act of chivalry with violence got me hot for him.

I followed them into a wooded area away from the center of town. Bron stood 50 yards away from them but within yelling distance. I hope and prayed what my mind conjured that she didn't lead him there for one purpose. I hid behind a tree as I heard Peeta's soft voice.

"I was dreading this day for some time," Peeta confessed as he held her hand. She leaned back against the tree behind her.

"Me too," she admitted. "It turned out alright, don't you think?"

"One of the best night of my life," he said as he placed his hands on her hips, their foreheads touching. They were breathing shallow breaths as he licked his lips. "Have I told you how beautiful you look this evening?"

"Several times, in fact." She smiled. I wanted to bash her teeth in and wipe that smile off her face. "I've never felt beautiful before I met you."

"I'll remind you everyday if you'll allow it," he teased her sliding his hands up and down her arms. She smiled and shivered but not from the cool evening air. "Thank you for saving me out there. I froze."

"Don't thank me, Peeta," she said. "You didn't deserve that kind of hostility from them. They don't know how much you've suffered."

"I would do all over again if I knew it would lead me here with you," he stated. "Everything that I endured to have me here with you in my arms. Tell me and make me believe that you told all of Panem that you're in love." He cupped her face, his thumbs grazing her lips

"Yes, I did." She raised her arms and wrapped them around his neck. "Because I am in love."

"You're real," he reiterated pulling her close to him.

"I am," she said as she took his hand and placed it over her chest.

"You love me?" he whispered in awe and joy. "You announced to Panem that you love me"

"So much, Peeta," she sighed. My heart broke at her admission. "I'm sorry that it took so long for me to admit it. That I have for some time and was not brave enough to tell you." Crocodile tears formed in her eyes and Peeta fell for it. He leaned down and kissed her soft and sweet, their bodies pressed together. She moaned into his mouth as he opened her lips with his talented tongue. They broke apart, the air sucked out of their lungs as they breathed heavy and harsh. "I want you, all of you. I know you're not ready but I can wait. I can wait a lifetime for you."

"Thank you," he said as he kissed her again harder, demanding as his hands found the zipper at the back of her dress. "For waiting. But in the meantime, I need you." The top of her dressed dropped to her waist. The soft silky bra complimented her skin as Peeta's hands roamed over her breast cupping her. "This okay?" I reached up and cupped my own breast pinching my hard nipple imagining my hand as his.

She nodded, panting as his fingers pinched her through the soft material. She gasped in pleasure as he pulled the cup aside and wrapped his mouth on her pert nipple. Her hands found purchase around his head massaging him. He hummed and sucked the twin as he left saliva on the pebbled bud. Her moans and sighs angered me for I should be at the receiving end of his lust and desire.

"Please, I need …" She gulped air into her slack mouth. Peeta was relentless in pleasuring her with his tongue, teeth and lips. I gasped in horror and bitterness as one hand reached underneath her dress. Though his hand wasn't visible I knew as she threw head back that he was pleasuring her with his fingers as he continued to suck her breast. I reached inside my own panties and pinched my nipple in tandem to Peeta's mouth. "Yes, right there. More, baby. I need…" He looked up and kissed her hard then stared into each other's eyes. His hand continued to move under her dress.

"How do you feel? I've never done this before," he panted as he placed small kisses on her mouth. One of her hands anchored the tree behind her as her legs buckled with pleasure that Peeta was giving her.

"Um…I…I'm gonna come," she gasped as she placed her free hand on top of his; fingers tweaking her bud. "Oh...make me come, Peeta." After a few seconds her eyes grew wide and she screamed so loud I thought Bron would have heard her. I furiously rubbed my own bundle of nerves, biting my upper lip to stifle my own completion as I imagined Peeta's hand in my pussy. My release left me empty and unfulfilled.

My anger grew tenfold as I watched Peeta hold her in his strong arms whispering into her ear. 'She' was flushed, her face pink from exertion with a huge smile on her face. I hate her. I'm robbed of pleasure to some undeserving girl who never appreciated or loved him. I swore that by the end of this night, he will be mine and once mine; he will be with me forever.

"I'm sorry Katniss," he said as his face grew serious. He zipped her dress as she looked at him.

"What? Why?" she replied in alarm, her brows furrowed. She had a worried and scared expression on her face.

"I didn't mean to do that now," he said. "You're just so beautiful and…I should have waited for someplace more…romantic." He sighed disappointed with himself.

"No, it's was perfect, out here in the woods just you and me alone," she said as she grabbed his hands. "I told you I would wait. You giving me so much pleasure…it was more than I expected. I never felt anything like that in my life ever." He smiled so bright that my heart sunk with envy. I'm startled when Bron appeared before them.

"Sorry to interrupt, Peeta, but the press are running about looking for you two," he said. "Come on, let's go before they find you both here." He ushered them out of the woods. The cameras and the press intercepted them as they appeared back into town clamoring over them. Even the citizens of 12 were in mass as they crowded around them. Bron walked in front them as he yelled into his head mic asking for assistance. Everdeen held on to Peeta as they made their way back to the center of town. Along the way, 'she' lost a hold on Peeta into the crowd. "Peet," she yelled. "Bron, I lost Peeta." She was frantic with worry.

"Katniss," Peeta yelled his voice echoed as he disappeared into the crowd.

I wormed my through the throng and as luck would have it I found my beloved. I took his hand and led him through the masses, grabbing his hand tight. The odds are in my favor this night.

"Come this way, Peeta," I screamed above the noisy crowd as they yelled and screamed for Everdeen and Mellark. Fighting my way, I was able to find a building, opened the door and shoved Peeta to safety.

"Thank you for helping me out there," he said in relief. I had my back turned to him while I closed the door in front of me. I turned around and smiled.

"Hello, lover. I missed you."

* * *

**Katniss POV – **

Bron grabbed my hand and shoved his way through the crowd. "Back off," he yelled. To his impatience he fired his rifle and the loud noise boomed in the air. "Everyone needs to back off." The crowd dispersed both civilian and news media as several Guardsmen formed a circle around us. Haymitch and Delly ran over to us.

"Where's Peeta," Delly screamed.

"I lost him in the crowd," I explained as fear and worry etched on my face.

"What the hell, Delly go find Effie and Johanna," Haymitch instructed. "We got to find him fast. Look everywhere, we'll look in this direction." He looked into his watch. Delly ran.

"Jonah, get the guys together and look for Peeta," Bron instructed his Guardsmen. "Get on frequency 7."

"Katniss, where did you lose Peeta?" Haymitch asked as I pointed east a few yards away. "Come on, let's head that way." Bron, Haymitch and I ran looking for Peeta. "Peeta, where are you?" Haymitch screamed.

"Peeta," I hollered. This can't be happening again. How did lose him just when I just finally admitted that I loved him? "Has anyone seen Peeta?" I yelled at the people around me.

"Excuse me Ms. Everdeen" a young man approached me. "I saw a woman drag him into that building over there." I ran without a single thought of my safety with Haymitch and Bron behind me. A woman took him. It can't be her I pondered. She was banished from 12. To my frustration the door was locked.

"Peeta, are you in there?" I yelled as I pounded my fist against the door.

"Move aside, Katniss," Bron said from behind me. I moved as he rammed the end of his rifle on the doorknob. It fell onto the ground as he pushed the door open with his shoulders. I ran past him to find the room empty. The room was in shambles as furniture and broken glass littered the floor. A trail of blood led to the back door of the building.

"Katniss," Haymitch spoke as he picked up a needle. I screamed.

"Where is he?"

"Haymitch, track him," Bron reminded him. "We need to get back to the house and track him."

The next few seconds were the longest minutes in my life. I envisioned a life without him, empty, alone and angry. Empty because there nothing in the world that could make me happy ever again, Alone, for I was certain that there would be no one else but him to love and angry because I lost everything and everyone after the hell we went through to get here. Only to experience happiness for a short time. We didn't deserve this.

We're huddle together as Haymitch turned on the GPS to track Peeta. To our relief his signal appeared on the watch sending a signal to his location. "Where is he?" I asked anticipation filled my belly.

"Two miles, northeast," Haymitch announced.

"He's heading towards the Victor's Village," I said. I prayed and hope that he's safe and unhurt. That whoever took him had not hurt him or killed him. Delly and Johanna intercepted as on the way back home.

"Delly, you need to find Kara and meet us back home," Haymitch directed. "Johanna will go and find Effie. We need to round everyone up."

"No, I'm coming with you?" she demanded.

"Someone needs to be here for Kara and Effie," he explained. "Whatever happens the Victor's Village place needs to be secure if Peeta is heading there. Have your guys search around the village in the meantime, Bron." Bron spoke to Jace and Jonah, giving directions and orders.

As Haymitch drove us back home, my mind conjured images of Peeta injured or dead. I held my tears back of fear as anger took priority. This was the longest night of my life. Peeta has been missing for the last 20 minutes but it felt like hours.

"This is my fault," I confessed to Haymitch. Jonah and his team led his hovercar in front of us. "We shouldn't have left the group. We were safe together." Haymitch was subdued and quiet as Bron sat besides me.

"This isn't your fault," Haymitch replied as Bron stated.

"If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I did a poor job in keeping him safe again." I was unconvinced for it was my idea to sneak off.

"You wanted to be alone with him. We don't blame you," Bron sympathized. "You're finally together. You two haven't had any time alone since he came back from the Capitol."

"If we hadn't snuck off…"

"Stop it Katniss. It just happened. Stop beating your self up over it," Haymitch replied, annoyed and angry. "Blame whoever took him. He or she has been stalking him for months. Tonight was the perfect opportunity for him to strike and he did. End of story. Let's just find him." I nodded my head. He was right. My focus should be on finding Peeta and not wallowing in my guilt and pity. I needed to concentrate on his promise before all hell broke lose. My mind recollected the feeling of bliss as he pleasured me with his fingers.

"_I wonder if you taste as wonderful as you feel,"_ he whispered in my ear as my bliss subsided." The memory shook my core. I concentrated on that memory and not the dread I felt as his absence carved into my soul. Suddenly, Bron raised his hands to his ear mic.

"Yes, Madam President," he said. "Mr. Abernathy was able to track him and we think he's headed back to the Victor's Village." He paused for a second. "Thank you ma'am, I'll keep you up to date. And thank you, I'll inform Mr. Abernathy in due time.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"President Paylor wanted an update on Peeta's status," Bron explained.

"How did she find out so fast?" My mind reeled as I realized that we were both being recorded with the news press surrounding us when I lost Peeta. Haymitch voiced my thoughts.

"Not surprised since everything was caught on camera," he sighed.

"That's why I told her to seize all video recordings from the news media," he said. "Hopefully, one of them caught footage of whoever took Peeta." This is the one and only time that I am grateful for media's presence.

The hovercar barely stopped as I ran out towards my home. "Peeta, where are you? Damnit, where are you?" I looked everywhere, every room, closet and hiding place.

"Katniss, come quick," Haymitch yelled. I ran towards his home. Bron and his Guardsmen were upstairs hovering outside Peeta's room. I pushed everyone aside to find the room empty.

"Haymitch, where is he?" I screamed as I lost patience and frustration filled me.

"Stop yelling and listen," he said. Faint but recognizable I heard Peeta's voice.

"Please stop," he whispered. "Not real, not real." He chanted over and over. I walked over to his closet and opened the door. Peeta was huddled in the far end of the closet with head between his knees, rocking and chanting to himself. His jacket was missing. The buttons on his shirt were ripped apart as smears of blood stained his hands, arms and face. There was a cut on his upper lip. His left cheek bruised. I cried in horror and fear as I stared into his eyes. Tears tracked down his face as blood and dirt was smeared on his cheeks. There were traces of lipstick stain on his collar.

"Peeta," I sobbed. "Peeta, it's me Katniss."

"Not real," he chanted.

"I'm real, Peeta," I stated as I reached over to grab his hand.

"Katniss, be careful," Haymitch warned me. Peeta's eyes grew wide as I clutched on his hand tight.

"It hurts, Katniss," he said.

"What hurts, baby," I said soft as to not startle him.

"My head," he answered. "She hurt me." I gasped in surprise and anger, my throat tightens as my free hand balled into a fist.

"Who hurt you, Peeta?" Haymitch asked as he stepped behind me, crowding the small closet.

"Please don't make me remember," he sobbed as he cradled his head with both hands. "I don't want to remember."

"He's remembering, Katniss," Haymitch deduced. "It's all coming back to him."

"Where is he?" Johanna screamed as she entered the room with Delly and Kara behind her. Kara appeared still wearing her evening clothes. We all were. She carried a large leather bag with her.

"Everyone clear the room," Haymitch commanded. "Don't crowd him."

"Hell, no," Johanna objected as she pushed us aside and faced Peeta. "Peeta, what happened?"

"She's here," Peeta announced. "Johanna, she followed me."

"Who Peeta?" she asked.

"Eva, she came back for me." He said with tears of anger and shame.

"I don't understand," Johanna said.

"She's was one of them," Peeta continued. "When we were in the Capitol. I didn't recognize her. Her hair is darker now. She keeps changing it."

"You mean…" she stopped and gasped in anger. "Eva Perry is the same woman who assaulted you in the Capitol." Peeta nodded his head. "That bitch followed you here?"

"She was the one who took me the first time." He wiped his eyes.

"I'm confused, who is he talking about?" I asked.

"At the Capitol, I told you he was being auctioned off to the highest bidder," Johanna explained. "There was one client of Snow's that insisted on 'testing the merchandise'." I gasped in horror.

"What do you mean?" Peeta looked away from me. I pulled at his hand towards my chest, which startled him. "Tell me."

"They stripped him naked, tied his hand behind his back and shackled his legs so he couldn't run away." Tears ran down my face, I couldn't control them as I felt Peeta's hands trembled. Anger and shock festered as Johanna continued.

"She'd straddle him and run her hands all over him, making sure he got aroused," she spat out in anger. "She made sure that he was hard and erect. When Peeta yelled at her to stop, she grabbed him by his cock and squeezed hard. She liked to inflict pain to her lovers, saying that it aroused her."

"That's sick," Delly commented, her face stricken with disgust.

"Most of the Capitol's clientele are sick," Haymitch added. "That's nothing compared to what they are capable of."

"Everyday she came to 'test' Peeta," Johanna continued. "The more Peeta resisted, the more she became obsessed with him." Peeta became silent, his eyes closed as if to erase the images that haunted him. I wish I never knew what happened to him but now I knew why he's reluctant to move our relationship to a physical one. Sex and violence was blurred in his mind.

"What made it worse was her telling Peeta to get over you," Johanna stated. "That you never cared about him. That you were with Gale and had been using him." I sobbed into tears because in truth I did turn to him. I sought his comfort and support then abandoned Peeta after he was rescued. I did use him to some extent during the Victory Tour and them came home to the comfort of my family. I'm so absorbed with guilt and anger that I didn't notice that Peeta's breathing changed.

"So you're saying that Peeta's stalker is the same woman from the Capitol," Haymitch clarified. "That his stalker is Eva Perry."

"Yes," Johanna confirmed. I closed my eyes in disbelief. All this time, it was someone he already knew but didn't recognize. It was why he blocked it out the first time. "Isn't that right, Peeta?" She turned to him. I opened my eyes when he didn't respond. Peeta was shaking, hard. His eyes were dazed.

"Oh, my God," I cried. "Help him, I think he's having an episode." Johanna and I stepped aside as Haymitch reached in and pulled Peeta out. Kara stepped closer to Peeta and flashed light into his eyes. He flinched.

"I can't stop shaking," Peeta stuttered his voice shook. He raised both hands to her.

"It's okay, Peeta," Kara said as she took his hand. "You're in shock. Just take a breath, one at a time. Slowly. Not too deep." He did as she instructed. In a soft but firm tone she spoke to him. "You remember?" He nodded his head. "You ready to let go?" Peeta shook his head as he turned to me. "We have to do this now." His eyes grew wide. "If you continue to suppress it, it will only get worse. You repressing your memories attributes to your weight loss, nightmares and triggers."

"What about Dr. Aurelius?" he asked.

"I'm licensed as a well and trained just like Dr. Aurelius," she answered. She waited for Peeta. "Peeta, look at me. You can trust me." I didn't but if she was willing to help Peeta in any way, I allowed it.

"I'm scared," he admitted. "I don't know if I can face all of it."

"You're strong, Peeta," she complimented him.

"I'm not. I should have fought harder," he said. "I shouldn't have let Snow get to me."

"Peeta, he hijacked your mind," she reminded him. "You endured inhumane abuse and torture but he didn't break you. He found your one weakness, Katniss. And he scrambled your mind to turn you into a weapon. But you're still here and Katniss is alive."

"I almost killed her," he cried in pain. At that moment, I fully understood his reluctance to commit to me. My actions and Snow's manipulations attributed to his breakdown and descent to madness. He lost hope. And, there will always be some doubt in his mind of my commitment to him. He lost hope and faith in me.

"And fate intervened," Kara added. "She's here with you after telling all of Panem that she loves you despite what you did to her." He smiled at me.

"Don't tell me you're not strong." I pointed to his head and heart. "You strong here and here. Fight Peeta and I'll fight right besides you, always." Delly sniffled as Johanna had tears in her eyes.

"Damnit, you two. You're making my girlfriend cry again," Bron said as he wiped his hands across his eyes.

"So Peeta, are you ready? Are you ready to face your nightmare head on?" Kara implored. "I'll be here beside you every step of the way." He turned to me as I nodded my head.

"Yes," he acknowledged. He blinked several times then swallowed.

"Okay, then get off the floor and let's get started," Kara instructed.

I led him to his bedroom, changing our clothes. Peeta's body shook as he changed. I pulled into my arms needing the comfort and security of his arms around me. I berated myself for he was the one who needed assurances not the other way around.

"You're going to okay," I assured him as I spoke with enough courage I could muster. He remained subdued but nodded his head in acknowledgment. I kissed him once for luck. It was soft and sweet not the mind blowing, earth shattering kisses that I yearned for. I took his hand and led back to the others who awaited us.

Minutes later, I wiped angry tears from my eyes. My arms were folded across my chest; my shoulders sloped in disappointment. I couldn't believe what Peeta had requested. "I don't want you here during my session." After everything we've been through, he still didn't trust me.

"It's not that I don't trust you." He read my mind. "It's just that I never want you to see me like…I'm not whole and…what she did to me then is something I don't ever want you to imagine in your head. It haunts me daily…what I experienced. You don't need to have that painted into your memories."

I turned to him. "Peeta, if we are to move forward to having a real relationship, one that will lead to a physical one. I need to know how…not remind you of what she did that hurt you. I don't ever want to hurt you when we're together."

"She right, Peeta," Kara added. "It's critical for her to know what her limits are. Eva twisted the intimate aspects of love and sex. You love Katniss but making love with her might hurt you both if you're body doesn't respond in a positive manner."

"So you approve of her being present while I regale the abuse and torture that was inflicted on me," he said in horror. "Why put her through that? She doesn't need to know every dirty and disgusting thing she did to me."

"I suspect that the dirty and disgusting are two different things in your mind," she said in a clinical tone. "What you may perceive is dirty may be an intimate gesture to Katniss. She needs to know what she can or cannot do for now. You both need time and patience for your mental health to heal. Sex is an important and fulfilling aspect in a healthy relationship."

"I'm not ready for…" he blushed and turned his eyes away from me. "I can't even get an…erection when she touches me." Anger and frustration etched on his face. "My mind tells me I'm ready but my body says another." He was so gentle and passionate when he gave me pleasure. I reveled in his ability to touch me in such an intimate manner but I felt guilty for not being able to give him pleasure in return.

"You're session is private and confidential," Kara stated. "However, I'll allow Katniss to sit through your session only if you approve of it. Trust her to give you strength. Have faith in the love you both have for each other. You will heal together."

"This is not couple's therapy," Peeta stated. "I'm about to reveal the love of my life, the horrors and atrocious abuse that was inflicted on me. How is that conducive to our 'healing together'?" His hand shook I grabbed them hoping to disguise my own trembles.

"Please trust me to stand by you and support you," I asked of him. I knew my track record in running from my feelings for him. But I was over that impulse. I love him so much, why can't he see that? _'Because your past actions prove otherwise,_' my inner self balked.

"Are you two finished?" Haymitch's head popped from the door. Everyone cleared the room with the exception of Kara. "What's the holdup? You're not changing your mind, are you Peeta?"

"No," Peeta said as he lost patience, gritting his teeth. "Katniss wants to included herself in my session with Kara."

"That's to be expected," Haymitch sighed. "You're not going to win this argument, Peet. Just say yes and you're life will get easier."

"But…" Peeta said.

"Johanna is going to be there," I reminded him. "I don't understand why she can be there and not me. I'm your girlfriend. I love you damnit." His eyes grew wide from my declaration. "Nothing is going to make me change my feelings for you." I'm emotional and tired; it's been along day. I bite my lip to stop the tears brimming in my eyes. Peeta grabbed me and held me tight in his embrace. His heart beat so fast I felt it against my chest.

"You promise," he whispered.

"I promise, Peeta," I swore as I kissed him hard. He returned my kiss with such vigor that my knees buckled. Our tongues clashed for possession. I moaned into his mouth sending tingles down my spine.

Haymitch cleared his throat, "Can you two please not do that now," he whined. "If you two start doing the horizontal, I'm going to throw up." We parted, breathing hard as Peeta pecked my lips once more.

"Wow, that was hot," Kara said as she fanned herself with her hands. "Now, you're making me jealous." She winked at me and winkled her brows. I blushed in embarrassment and pride. _'He's mine,'_ my mind commented.

The room is somber and quiet as Johanna, Haymitch and Kara situated themselves in his viewing room. With Kara's instruction for all of us duly noted, she proceeded to instruct Johanna and me one final demand.

"You are not to interrupt or touch Peeta at any time. He will be a deep meditative state and any disruption might shatter his fragile mind. Do you understand?" Both Johanna and I nodded in understanding.

Peeta's face was unreadable as he spoke to Dr. Aurelius last minute on the viewing monitor.

"I really don't recommend doing this, Peeta," he advised. "You should be here in the Capitol under my supervision."

"I'm capable of handling this, Dr. Aurelius," Kara interrupted. "Time is of the essence. He's remembering now and the sooner this is done, the faster Peeta can heal."

"All right, but I want this on record that I disapprove of this," Dr. Aurelius stated.

"Can you two just stop already," Haymitch blasted at them. "This is not a contest for who gets to cure him, damnit. He's not a prize to be won for your achievements."

"Sorry," Kara repented. "That was not my intention." Dr. Aurelius harrumphed in indignation. "Okay, Peeta. I want you to close your eyes and take eight deep breaths slowly." Peeta sat on an armchair with Kara sitting on a coffee table in front of him. I'm scared and listless, as I remained standing, biting my lip from nervousness with my arms around me. I wish I could hold Peeta during his session. Johanna's face was impassive as her hands clutched on the armchair. Her knuckles were white from her grip. Haymitch leaned forward elbows on his knees; his hands clasped together in a praying position. Odd, I never pictured him a religious man. Delly and Bron were on standby waiting in one of the guestrooms.

As Peeta took his last breath Kara continued, "Now I want you to count backwards from 20 to 0." He counted backwards as his voice grew soft, his body relaxed at the count of 8 and he became quiet. "Peeta, can you hear me?"

"Yes," he acknowledged.

"What is your full name," she asked.

"My name is Peeta Mellark," he stated as he took deep even breaths through his nose.

"Who are you?"

"I am the third son of James and Helen Mellark. I am a baker, Victor, traitor, mutt, killer." I gasped in shock. This was how he saw himself.

"Was that necessary?" Haymitch blurted.

"Shut up, Haymitch," Johanna said her teeth gnashed together, her face grim.

"I know you've done this before so you know the drill. When we go back to the night of your abduction, you will be an observer not a participant in the event. You will see and hear the details of that night. You will not feel or interact with the visions. Do you understand" He nodded his head. "When you get agitated or start to panic I will touch you like this." She placed a hand on top of his. He jumped for a second.

"Kara, that is not advisable," Aurelius interrupted.

"Quiet, I know what I'm doing," she said in frustration. "So from the beginning of that day what do you remember first? What is the first image you see when you remember that day?"

With his eyes closed he smiled. "I see Katniss."

**Johanna POV – **

My stomach clenched at the sight of Peeta sitting in the chair his eyes closed. I dreaded this moment, the moment when he would reveal what happened to him during his disappearance. Katniss was pacing the floor, her face etched with fear. She shouldn't be here. My hope dashed when she insisted in being present. I shook my head from my thoughts as I concentrated on Peeta.

"I woke up and sat next to Katniss admiring her sleeping next to me. She's beautiful when she asleep in quiet repose, soft and yielding," he sighed.

"She's a very pretty girl," Kara commented.

"She's not pretty," her corrected her, his brow scrunched. "She's the most beautiful girl in Panem." Katniss blushed but looked pleased.

"Spoken like a man in love," Kara giggled.

"I am. I have been since the first time I saw her. She is all I see in my waking and sleeping moments." Katniss smiled.

"Do you remember why I'm here?" she asked.

"Yes, I blocked out the memories of my abduction," he answered, his body tense.

"Good. Now I want you to take another breath," she commanded. "Feel the air fill your lungs, breath out through you nose. Are you relaxed?" He nodded. "When you are ready, tell me what happened that night. The night after the baking contest."

"We were celebrating, having dinner with everyone. It was the first time in a long time that I felt happy. I was walking out the restroom when I heard Gale's voice," he started. "My head started to hurt." He lifted a hand and placed it on his forehead. "I think I was having an episode when I felt a sting on my neck."

"What happened next?" Kara asked. "And remember you're watching the event unfold, you are in participating or involved."

"I woke up and it's dark," he continued. Katniss no longer paced but sat next to Haymitch as he reached out and took her hand. She was shaking. "There is the smell of roses everywhere. It's on my skin. I want to throw up but I stopped myself. My mouth feels dry and chalky." The after taste of being 'Snowed' left a disgusting chalking film in your throat. No matter how much water you drank or rinsed your mouth, it lingered in your mouth for hours.

"You woke up in dark room," she stated for clarification.

"No, my eyes are covered. I can feel the cloth against my eyes. I'm lying in bed with my hands and foot tied to each post on the bed. I think it's a bed since I could feel the mattress underneath me." Peeta rocked back and forth. "My head hurts and my ears and leg stings."

"What else do you remember?"

"I'm cold. I can hear the air conditioning humming. I realize that I'm naked and my left upper leg itches and burns from kneecap to my hip. I want to scratch it so bad." Katniss' eyes grew wide; her lips trembled with fear and anger. "I'm pulling at my restraints but it's tight. I can't get loose."

He twisted his head, as he got agitated. "What's wrong?" Kara asked as she placed a hand on his arm. His hands gripped the armchair so tight I was afraid he'd break it.

"Someone's in the room. It's a woman's voice. She talking to me, telling me to stop struggling. She sits on my chest and I can't breath. She's naked and I feel her, all of her." Peeta struggled to catch his breath.

"Relax, Peeta. Remember your not participating in the memory," Kara reminded him. He shook his head. "The feelings you felt that night are not real. You are safe. "

"Get off me, I can't breath," He continued raising his upper body, arching his back.

"If he's not suppose to feel pain, why is reacting like he's reliving his abuse," Haymitch asked, his had a look of panic and helplessness. I appreciated his predicament.

"The mind is a very powerful tool that can access feelings and emotions from a traumatic experience," Kara explained. "You can't help but relive each moment and not remember the feelings attached to it. All I can do is remind him that he's watching the event in his head and hope that he can separate the memories and feelings he experienced. My main concern is that he doesn't overwhelm himself. His heart can't take any more abuse."

"Can he hear us?" I inquired.

"Yes, he can," she answered. "If I allow it." Dr. Aurelius tuned in.

"Kara, that's inappropriate and unorthodox," he claimed.

"Peeta needs to hear a friendly voice, one that he trusts," Kara admonished him. He went back to taking his notes.

"Can I talk to him?" She looked at me, skeptical and uncertain of my involvement instead of Katniss. "I just want to assure him that he's okay and safe with us."

She nodded her. "Peeta, there is someone here who wants to talk to you." She gestured to me to talk to him.

"Peeta, it's me Johanna."

"Johanna?" he whimpered in reply.

"Hey, I just want you to know that I'm here anytime you need me," I said as I looked at Katniss. She remained quiet. "Just listen to Kara, okay? She won't hurt you I promise."

Peeta's history and experience with women were limited at best. He trusted those he loved and felt their betrayal and their abandonment. There was only a handful he extended his heart to.

"Johanna, help me," he simpered as he rocked back and forth on the armchair. I leaned over to touch him when I remembered Kara's instructions.

"Peeta, calm down," Kara instructed as she gripped his hand. I turned to Katniss; tears escaped her eyes as her lips trembled. My anger grew ten fold. Haymitch sat quiet, his eyes closed. Peeta settled down for a second. "Continue Peeta."

"She's whispering in my ear, telling me she loves me. That I belong to her and that we were meant to be together. She tells me that I've been playing hard to get, and teasing her far too long. Now that she has me she's never going to let me go. She keeps touching me everywhere. I tell her to stop but she doesn't. I can't get her off of me. And then she…" He stopped, as his breathing grew harsh and erratic.

"What Peeta, what did she do?"

Tears welled in his closed eyes. "She grabbed me…down there. Wrapping both hands around me hard. It hurts so much. I told her to stop and she hits me on the left side of my chest. She keeps hitting me and hitting me. She wants to know why I can't get it up for her. She's getting really mad." By this time Katniss is sobbing and crying in Haymitch arms.

"I'm screaming for her to stop but she doesn't. She grabbed my head and she kissed me, forcing her tongue down my mouth. She bit me. I got really mad so I bit her back. But she doesn't stop, it got her more excited." Katniss' eyes turned from sorrow to anger. "I started to get mad, I can feel and episode starting. The angrier I got the more she wanted me; rubbing herself all over me. Then she stopped suddenly and got off of me. I thought she was finally leaving me alone but…" He took a deep breath.

"What happened next?" Kara inquired. Her voice was calm and clinical. How she wasn't affect surprised me. "What did she do?" Dr. Aurelius was writing on his data pad taking notations.

"She got between my legs and rubbed herself on my cock. I still wasn't erect so she…wrapped her lips around me. I yelled for to stop, my head and throat so much from screaming and I blacked out." Katniss stood up, her eyes filled with anger. Her hands into fists. Tears streamed down her cheeks.

"So what happened next, what else do you remember?" Kara continued.

"I wake up and she starts all over again. I pass out again to wake up and she's still there. My head and my chest really hurt so bad. My throat aches from screaming. I think I'm dying. I want to die and not feel like this anymore." He sobbed. "I want to sleep but she won't let me, waking me up to…but I pass out again."

"You're doing fine, Peeta," Kara checked his vitals. "His heart is beating a little fast but nothing that could cause any harm." She reached into her medical bag. "But I am prepared just in case." She took out a portable defibrillator.

"I'm jolted from my sleep when I feel a sting from my left side of arm. It's still dark, I can't see. I'm wearing clothes, but I have a helmet on my head but I can hear them clearly. I'm still tied to the bed both my hands and feet. I hear voices, muffled by the helmet. She's arguing with someone, yelling and screaming at someone. It's a man's voice." He's calm but still agitated.

"Aw, fucking hell. I knew it," Haymitch said as he seethed in anger. He closed his eyes as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I'm pretending to sleep. She's really mad that he hits her, and then she's laughing at him. Telling him that I'm more than a man he is. He's got really angry. He comes toward me and…his hands are around my neck and he's choking me. I can't breath." He started to choke.

"Peeta, Peeta take a breath," she instructed. "You're an observer, it's not real." He nodded in understanding.

"She tells him to stop and he lets go. They're fighting again and I hear them; struggling together. Overturning furniture and hitting the walls. She's laughing and screaming profanities at him. My eyes burn and my ears are ringing. And then…" He took a deep breath and continued. "They're having sex, loud angry sex and she's hitting him to fuck her harder. I can't get the noises out of my head. She tells him that she wants me to watch but he won't let her. The next thing I knew she's hovering over me, choking me while he's having sex with her." Katniss bit the back of her hand to stifle her cries of anger and disgust.

"How are you feeling, Peeta?" Kara asked.

"I'm so tired," he said, his voice dead and lifeless. "After their done, they're talking. He wants to sell me, but she won't let him. He tells her that he could make a lot of money from me by renting me out to his clients. She tells him that I belong only to her. He laughs at her." I stood up and walked to the window. The moon hung high in the sky. It's nine in the evening. We changed from our evening clothes to casual wear. No one was prepared to sleep soon. Peeta wore a white t-shirt and blue jeans. His forehead gleamed with sweat, tears streaming from his eyes. From a distance I can see the display of firework over the town. The celebration continued well into the night. I will never forget this night for as long as I live.

"We're almost done Peeta," she spoke. "You're really doing great."

"I'm so tired, I want to sleep," he continued. "I hurt when I feel them stick a needle on my neck. I can feel my arms and legs go numb when they finally untied me. She lies down next to me. Her head on my chest. He leaves the room leaving me alone with her. I'm scared that she'll start all over again, but she doesn't. She tells me she loves me and says good night." Peeta calmed down. "I don't know how much time passed. The next thing I knew I was at the hospital." He paused as if he wanted to say more, but refrained himself.

"Peeta, just more thing before I wake you up," Kara added. "Do you recognize the voices, do you know you who took you?"

He nodded his head. "Eva, it was Eva," he admitted.

"Are you sure Peeta?" I asked. "We have to be sure. You're eyes were blindfolded. We don't' have any physical proof to accuse her of abducting you that night."

"It's her," he confirmed. "She likes to bite me when…and when she bit my lip that night after dinner on date night. She triggered something. I remembered her from the Capitol. It's her, I'm positive. I'll never forget her voice." He shuddered.

"What about the man? Did you recognize his voice?" Haymitch, Katniss and I held our breath as Peeta shook his head.

"No, I didn't recognize him," he confessed. I sighed in frustration.

"Okay, I'm going to count to 10 and by the count to ten you will wake up," she said. "You will wake up relaxed and unharmed. You'll remember everything that happened, but you will separate these memories from your mind and remain calm." She counted and by ten his eyes opened. His eyes sought out for Katniss. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I got run over by a hovercar," he said as he felt for his chest, a tired smile graced his face. Kara took out a stethoscope and listened to his heart. His blue eyes glued to grey. I pushed Katniss towards him, gesturing her to go to him. She waivered.

Kara stood up and went to the viewing monitor to consult with Dr. Aurelius. I ignored them concentrating on Peeta.

"You did good kid," Haymitch complimented him as he stood up and brush his hand on Peeta's shoulder. "I'm proud of you. What you did was very brave."

"Thanks, Haymitch," Peeta smiled as he looked at his mentor. He looked relieved like he unloaded a heavy burden from his shoulders.

"There something I need to know," Haymitch inquired. "This evening, what happened to you when you disappeared?"

"When I lost Katniss, someone grabbed my hand and led me to safety," he explained. "I was relieved but when I found out who it was I freaked."

"Was it Eva?" I asked knowing the answer. He nodded.

"She came back for me," he sighed. "She was trying to convince me to go with her and leave 12 but I refused. She got really mad and started to throw things. When I tried to leave she pulled out a needle to inject me, but I grabbed her hand tight so she would let go. We struggled for a while. I didn't want to hurt her. She kept coming at me, hitting me that I hit her back. She fell over and landed on the floor. I think I killed her."

"You didn't, Peeta," Haymitch told him. "By the time, we looked for you in the building she was long gone." He sighed in relief. "I'm glad you're okay, you really had us worried."

"Yeah, you did. We were really worried, weren't we Katniss?" I asked as I turned to her. Peeta stood up and took a step towards his girlfriend. She took a step back. The look of fear and anger still etched on her face. I didn't understand why she had not spoken a single word or approached Peeta. The agony in her eyes was apparent as she looked at Haymitch and me before they settled back to Peeta. Her lips trembled. Then, she did the one thing I thought she would never do again…she ran. I'll never forget the devastated look on Peeta's face as he watched her run out of the room slamming the door behind her.

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_**AN: Thank you for reading this chapter. I'm exhausted from writing this particular one. Thank you for those who waited patiently to read this. I want to extend a special thank you for those who stuck with me. Thank you, Gracias, Salamat po and **__**Xièxiè**__**. Have a great weekend.**_


	29. Chapter 29 - Mistakes I Made A Few

Chapter 29 – Mistakes I Made A Few

_AN: Thanks to all my reviewers [Aqua Rules, Trude, kamjam, everlasting1286, Shannon, Rebecca, betazoid4, LACR, Tea4e, KT, zbethg and guests] for your reviews and comments. I strive to continue writing for your pleasure. Thanks for sticking around. Like the title, Mistakes I Made a Few, is found, please forgive me. All Rights belong to Suzanne Collins. Personally, i'd keep Peeta for myself. _

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**Delly POV – **

I'm pacing and biting my nails as Bron and I waited upstairs in Peeta's room. Call me creepy but I needed his presence albeit his clothes or things to provide me a sense of comfort. I looked around the room and was surprised by its emptiness. There wasn't a sign of Peeta anywhere except with his clothes in the closet and his shoes aligned in a neat row. He had always been clean and organized as I remembered his room back in the Merchant town. Days I lingered as we studied math, science or any homework. There were hundreds of drawings everywhere from nature to the people of the District 12. I was surprised that his witch of a mother allowed it. I had once found his drawing pad and like a nosey and curious person I am, I looked inside to find beautiful drawings of a girl from school…Katniss Everdeen. It was how I found out about his crush back then. A crush I had thought would have withered as time passed. How wrong I was. As he grew older his crush developed to love. A love I couldn't understand since I never saw him talk or ever approached her. Who loves like that?

Surprisingly, I haven't found any evidence of Katniss' presence either. Minutes ticked by like hours. It came to an unbearable point that Bron scolded me from my pacing.

"Delly, babe. You need to settle down," he said. He looked tired and weary. I knew the guilt he felt for failing Peeta once when he got shot. But this, this took a heavy toll on his ego and self-confidence as a Guardsmen; the lead soldier to protect Peeta. I sat down next to him and took his large hand in mine. For such as big strong man, he quite sweet and lovable like a fluffy, stuffed bear I had as a child. It was one of the reasons why I fell for him. He's commanding but not overpowering, not romantic but sweet in his own way, like his many attempts to make me breakfast in bread that lead to many burned toast, eggs and potatoes. It's the thought that counts as we shared bowls of oatmeal and cereal together. My heart belonged to him and lately he needed the reassurance.

"He's going to be okay," he comforted me. I shook my head.

"Bron, I'm quite aware of how strong he is when he's facing his own fears," I corrected him. "He wouldn't be here today if he wasn't." I remember the long hours and days at the Capitol how he fought for his life, inching his way back to recognition, the Peeta Mellark I loved since childhood. He was the baker boy who loved to draw and paint. After the first game, he came home a Victor, a man harden by his experience but still retained his goodness and sweet nature. I fell hard for him.

"Yeah, he's pretty strong," Bron added. "I've never met anyone like him."

"He's the strongest person I know." I said. "He'll fight for you tooth and nail if need be. But he won't fight for himself. His self-esteem and self worth was shattered, broken. He needed Katniss to glue him back together. She is and always has been his reason for living." As much as I loved him, I knew I could never replace Katniss in his heart. No one can.

"Then he'll be fine," he said as he kissed my hand. A gesture he learned from Peeta. I smiled as I remember his jealousy and feelings of inadequacy. Bron was an amorous man in any circumstance but a jealous and possessive Bron, well he shook my world from its' axis.

"It's not him I'm concern about…" I muttered. "It's Katniss."

"What about her?" His eyebrows furrowed in question.

"Peeta can face his demons, she has never been able to face hers," I explained. "She runs when she's cornered or frightened. Peeta can face anything but her rejection of him."

"She might surprise you this time," he said.

"I hope you're right," I said. Our reverie was broken as Haymitch voice filtered from downstairs.

"Fucking hell, Katniss," his loud booming voice filled the air as the front door slammed. "Bron, get the hell down here now." We stood up and descended the stairs to find everyone in the room except Katniss. A myriad of looks filled the room. Kara looked sad. Johanna seethed with anger while Haymitch had a stunned look of disbelief_. 'Where the hell is Katniss?'_ A thought crossed my mind.

"What's going on? " I screamed as I directed my eyes towards Peeta. His shoulders were slumped, his hands into fists. Tears poured down his crystal blue eyes, his lips trembled. He looked beaten, lost and miserable.

"Delly, she left." My heart broke. I knew it. His worst fear had crystallized. I swallowed the bile that rose from my throat as I hugged his shaking body into mine. _'She didn't, she didn't,_' I chanted in my head.

"Bron, get her back here," Haymitch commanded, his eyes hard and his teeth gnashed together. "Get all the guys and bring her back here by force if you have to." Without a word, Bron turned and left the house.

"I need to lie down," Peeta sobbed. "Can I stay with you for a while?" I'm speechless and stunned, but not surprised. I nodded my head as I took his hand and led him out the house with Johanna right behind us.

"Damn you, Katniss," Haymitch muttered under his breath. His voice low but clear accompanying Peeta's cries.

I led Peeta back to my home with his head on my shoulder and my around him. His silent tears broke my heart as we walked the stairs and directed him to my room.

He sat down on the bed dazed and aimless. Both Johanna and I took off his shoes as he lay back on his right side and closed his eyes. I took his arm and check his heart rate. It was fast and unsteady. Johann sat next to him, "Hey, do you want me to stay with you?" He nodded his head as he reached for her, placing his head on her chest. Tears continued to flow down his cheeks. There were no anger or recrimination, just pain and sadness etched on his face.

"She left, Johanna." His voice a whisper but clear.

"I know, Peeta, I know." She cringed as I gritted my teeth in annoyance and irritation for Katniss' defection. She should be here, yet she was not. _'Where the fucking hell are you, Katniss'_ my mind screamed.

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**Katniss POV –**

I couldn't feel my feet as it pounded on the ground with every step I took. I was numb from anger, despair and rage. I didn't see the look in Peeta's eyes; the despair, the fear. I was blinded by rage and fury. I only saw Eva as she took something precious from Peeta. Something beautiful that she took and replaced with violence and shame. A ball of anger bubbled in my stomach as bile rose to my throat. I stopped for a moment and threw up as images of Peeta's abuse flashed in head. I only saw her hands all over him as he yelled and pleaded for her to stop. I wanted this, I insisted in knowing and how I wished I hadn't.

I shivered in disgust knowing that he survived the horrors of the Capitol only to have it follow him back home to the one place he felt safe. I didn't save him back at the arena and I failed him here in 12.

I ignored the yells and screams as Bron ran after me. The night was pitch black that I let the fireworks guide me back to town. Back to her. My hands clutched my bow as I felt the quiver on my back. I hadn't used my bow and arrow since the last time I almost shot Gale with his confrontation with Peeta months before. My eye stung with tears. My chest felt heavy. A voice in my head floated in the recesses of my mind telling me to turn back. I ignored it. Hate motivated my actions.

The celebration continued as I walked throughout town. People around me gave way as others continued in their revelry. They saw the MockingJay with her bow in hand. Screams and shouts filled the air, "Katniss, Katniss." They didn't' see the true meaning of the hate and anger in my eyes. It was like the rebellion all over again. I burned with hate and fury. I burned for Peeta, my Boy with the Bread. How I hate them all for their judgment against him. They'll never know how much he suffered and suffered still. He was never a traitor; he never betrayed me.

"Ms. Everdeen," a young man approached me. "I wondered if you would take a picture with me and my friends." I turned in disgust as his groups of buddies in their fine clothes and bottles of wine in their hands leered at me. He sported a stupid grin on his face; they were so drunk and wasted from eating and drinking all night. Fireworks continued to loom above us.

"Leave me the hell alone," I raged as I drew my bow. He stepped back with hands in the air in mock surrender.

"Katniss, Katniss." The chant continued as it reached a thunderous decibel.

"Katniss, what are you doing?" Bron yelled as he grabbed me by the arm. I shook him off and pointed my bow at his face. Jace and Jonah stopped right behind him. A crowd circled around us.

"Leave me be." By now people surrounded us out of curiosity, cameras in hand. Great. I lowered my bow. "She hurt him, Bron. I want her at me feet so I can squeeze the life out of her." People gasped in horror, some in amusement. _'She's crazy.'_ Someone yelled. Yes, madly, deeply and crazy in love with a boy whose pain radiated into my soul. I love him so much. It hurts to know how much she hurt him. I knew Snow tortured and abused him, but the sexual assault was more than I can bear. It was no wonder that he blocked that night from his mind.

"He needs you. You should be with him, not scouring the town looking for vengeance," Bron uttered, low for me to hear. "You left him when he needed you the most."

"I…" I stuttered. "I want to help him. I need to find that bitch and make her pay."

"Killing her won't help him," he admonished me. "Get your stubborn ass back home. He needs you love and support, not your anger. You abandoned him." His words replaced my anger with guilt and shame. It was like I was doused with ice water, cooling the heat of anger and hate. "Listen, we know now. Who she is and what she did to him. There is no place in Panem safe for her. I will personally take care of her. You need to go back home. To Peeta."

I took off. How I got home, I don't know as instinct took over. I hope that Peeta will forgive me for…leaving him to appease and satisfy my anger instead of comforting him.

I reached Haymitch's home and found him sitting on an easy chair with a bottle of wine in his hands. Effie sat opposite him with a tall glass of wine in her hand. Her face was drawn and sad. He looked at me in disappointment. I turned and ran upstairs to Peeta's room. He's nowhere in sight.

"He's not here," Haymitch announced as he took a large swig of wine, spilling down his chin and onto his shirt. I turned to move around him as he blocked the door. He raised his hand. "Where do you think you're going?" he sneered at me. His anger radiated from his eyes.

"To my house, to find Peeta," I answered.

"Don't," he demanded.

"He needs me," I insisted, daring him to challenge me.

"Should of thought of that before you ran out on him." He leaned against the doorway. I pushed forward, running past him. Jace and Jonah stood outside watching the perimeter. I ran past them. My house is quiet and empty. Peeta is not in my bed. There is only place left. I'm greeted by Delly whose face was stormy as she opened the door. She folded her arms across her chest.

"Katniss," she greeted me, cold and unfriendly. "Now is not a good time to see him." Her blue eyes were dark with anger simmering.

"I need to explain," I started.

"Nothing to explain," she interjected. "You found out what she did and couldn't handle it, so you ran. Ran sway from him."

"I didn't run away from him."

"But you did."

"Not because of what she did to him. I mean, yes I ran, but not for the reasons you think," I implored as pain built in my chest.

"Doesn't matter, you still ran." We were going in circles.

"Where is he?"

"In bed, lying down. Johanna finally got him to stop crying," she explained. "You need to leave him alone. Give him some space."

"I can't. Not until I explained why I left," I insisted. I'm desperate. I need to see him now that I'm not blinded by anger or rage. Bron was right. I should have been there for him.

"Listen, Katniss," Delly said. "I like you, but I don't understand what Peeta see in you."

"Hey," I hollered. "What the hell, Delly." I really thought she approved our relationship. Where the hell is this resentment coming from? Why now? _'Oh, maybe it's surfaced the moment you walked…no ran out on him at the moment he needed you the most.'_ My mind clarified.

"Shut up and listen to me," she pointed her delicate finger on my chest. Ouch, her nail bit into my skin. "You're moody, sullen and bitter with the world. You're pretty self-absorbed. You don't leave room for other people in your life. You constantly think that the world is against you. You've broken and shattered his heart the moment you stepped back from the first games. But even knowing all that Peeta still loved you. And I've always thought that he was pretty good judge of character. So I encouraged him, pushed him to seek his happiness. And it always fell to you." Her voice raised to a high pitch that rivaled Effie's. "So what did you do the moment he finally revealed his nightmares and fears, to reveal every painstaking, horrifying moment to you, you ran."

"If you would let me explain," I interjected as my patience waned. I needed her to let me go to him, to explain. I understood her anger and frustration with me. Yelling at her fueled my own anger and disappointment with myself. But Delly was important to Peeta. I couldn't afford to alienate her too.

"I don't want to hear it," she seethed, her voice lowered. "What you did was unforgivable." I closed my eyes. If she felt that I wondered if that's what Peeta felt too. How can he forgive me for breaking a promise?

"Listen, Delly, I know I fucked up, big," I admitted. "Beyond big, it was stupid." She raised a brow. "It was beyond stupid." She sighed. "I'm an idiot."

"You can't anyway, Kara gave him a sedative," she confessed. She sighed, replete from her angry rant.

"He didn't have an episode, did he?" Please don't let that be true. Tears brimmed my eyes. I wiped them away fast. I didn't want Delly to see me break down from my brash behavior.

"No, but Kara was concerned with his heart rate," she explained, twisting her hands together. "It was too elevated. He was having a panic attack."

"Where is he?" I begged one last time.

"He's sleeping. Johanna is with him." She twisted the knife in my gut. She gave him comfort. It should have been me.

"I don't care, I just need to see him," I cried. Delly relented as she led me upstairs. There, Peeta slept with his head on Johanna's chest as she wrapped her arms around him. He whimpered and twitched in his sleep.

"He's agitated," Johanna spoke as she played with his hair behind his neck. "I don't know how to make him stop shaking." His body twitched hard. He wore a plain white t-shirt and boxer shorts. His legs covered with a blanket from waist to knees revealing his legs to the open air. He didn't remove his prosthesis. Someone undressed him. Damnit.

"You need to open a window, it's too stuffy in here for him," I advised. Delly walked over and opened a window. Moonlight and a light breeze filtered in the room. I realized that we were standing in the master bedroom.

"May I lie with him," I asked. I didn't deserve to be here but I needed his presence to calm my shattered nerves. I shattered us. I needed to fix it. I removed my shoes and sat down.

"I don't know if that's a good…" Delly stated.

"Just don't wake him," Johanna stated. She gave me a look. I knew that I was going to have a long conversation with her in the near future. But right now, we both understood that the first priority was Peeta. I replaced her as I placed his head on my chest. Peeta once admitted that he needed to hear my heartbeat with his head against my breast. He needed the reminder that I was real and we were together. I rubbed his back up and down soothing him. He was too warm.

"Hey, Peeta," I whispered. "It's me baby. I'm here now. Shh…" He whimpered in his sleep but settled down. He took a deep breath. Delly and Johanna crept out of the room to give us some privacy. I can hear them arguing, but tuned them out. "I'm here Peeta. I'm here." I repeated over and over. I hope that he felt my presence as he tighten his arm around my waist in his sleep. "I love you."

I woke up on my side of the bed. The sun peeked beyond the horizon. The space beside me was empty. I felt for the pillow and it was cold. I resisted and bit my lip from bursting into tears. I deserved this. I did. However the smell of bread broke my sorrow and pain. It was cheese buns. Hope filled me. I swiped my hand over my eyes. I gasped as the cold wood floor surprised me. After a quick search I put on my shoes and ran down the stairs. In the kitchen were Bron, the Guardsmen, Johanna, and Alec. Alec? Not a sign of Peeta anywhere.

"He's at Haymitch's," Johanna stated as if she read my mind. "With Effie and Delly. He's packing."

"Packing?" I panicked. _'He can't leave me. Not ever.'_ I said as my throat constricted from fear. Bron sighed. The Guardsmen continued to eat breakfast. I ran.

Haymitch intercepted me at the door. "Hey, sweetheart." I balked at his nickname for me. He didn't comfort me or berate him. He looked tired.

"I need to see him," I said as he led me inside the house

"Kara is checking on him."

"Kara, what is she doing here? Is he okay," I said in fear as anxiety shot through my spine.

"Just calm down." He placed both his hands on my shoulders and led me to the living room.

"Just a check up before getting on the train this afternoon," he informed me. He caught the surprised look in my face. "You do remember that he was going to the Capitol today?" Huh.

"I thought it was cancelled because of yesterday," I stated. He didn't need to go now. His session was over.

"Peeta decided to go anyway," Haymitch explained. He combed his fingers through his hair. His eyes were red and puffy. He was obviously suffering from a hangover. "Beetee will be there for his fitting."

"He's leaving me," I cried sitting down as I elbowed my knees, covering my eyes.

"You're an idiot." His voice penetrated my muddled brain. I looked up, teary eyed and scowled at him. He's reduced to name-calling. "Have you forgotten that he asked you to go with him?" I blinked several times.

"But…" I gulped, breathing heavy and uneven.

"You're going to let him run away from you?" He challenged me. "Listen, sweetheart." Great, I knew I wasn't going to escape another lecture. "You fucked up yesterday. Majorly, big time. Make it up to him. Don't let this fester. Apologize, explain on your hands and knees if you have to, beg for his forgiveness. And don't you ever…" He stopped and stared me straight in the eyes. "Do that again." I nodded. "Enough said."

"Good morning, Katniss," Kara greeted me. I hate her. She looked coifed and perfect this morning with her glossy hair and perfect skin while I knew that I had bags under my eyes, my hair a bird's nest. My clothes were rumpled from sleeping in them all night, but the scent of Peeta lingered. It comforted me from his absence and avoidance.

"How is he?" I asked as I stood up.

"A little shaky but okay," she reported. "I don't think it's a good idea for him to travel right now, but he insisted."

"Then, why is he?" She looked at Haymitch as if they were conspiring to keep a secret from me.

"Tell her," Haymitch determined.

"He's agreed to stay there for a month…to prepare for his new treatments," she informed me. I gasped in shock. My visit to the Capitol was only for a week. It was all the time that Paylor permitted. His treatment wasn't schedule for another month. I thought he wasn't physically ready.

"Why?" My mind felt numb.

"He said he might as well get it over with," Kara explained. "He said that he had nothing left to lose." I covered my mouth with my hand to stifle a gasp. I searched my mind for any excuse to keep him here, in 12.

"What about Eva?"

"There's a nation wide search and a warrant for her arrest," Haymitch spoke. "She cannot hide in Panem for too long. She will be found and arrested. She's not that stupid to follow him back in the Capitol." He sighed. "Paylor placed a reward for her capture."

"Can I see him?" I asked. A sharp pain pierced my chest.

"He's getting dressed after his shower," Kara said. What the hell! Delly is upstairs helping him. "He'll be down in a few minutes." I stood up to run upstairs. "Give him a few minutes, Katniss. He's not going anywhere." I'm mad, angry with myself. The minutes lingered when he and Delly finally appeared descending the staircase. My heart lurched. My sleep was fitful, splattered with dreams of him telling me we were over; he was done with me.

He blinked several times. His eyes were transfixed to the floor as soon as he realized I was present. He brought a hand to his chest as if I plunged a knife to his heart. He flinched when I called out to him.

"Peeta." My voice was shaky and uncertain. He looked at Delly besides him. "Look at me." He shook his head. "Please." Pride be damn, as I ran up to him and grabbed him with both arms wrapping them tight around his waist. He sobbed on my neck. His arms stayed by his side, I felt hollow as guilt ate away my soul.

"Not now, not now," he repeated in my ear. His face was towards the audience around us. "Tamryn will be here in a few minutes. I don't want her to see us like this." I relented and nodded my head. I had forgotten that she was spending the morning with us before we boarded the train. She missed Peeta so much that she requested to visit before we left for the Capitol. Peeta, never able to resist her, complied.

"But soon, please." I pleaded. He nodded. The wait and uncertainty was killing me, but it was not the appropriate time to have our conversation. Haymitch was right. I couldn't let this linger longer than necessary. Delly scowled at me. A trait she picked up from yours truly. I hope that she would have softened by now. She was wary of my behavior and I didn't blame her. I acted on impulse instead of giving myself a moment to consider the consequences of my actions. The contradiction of Delly and Johanna's reaction to my abandonment of Peeta surprised me. I was certain that it was Johanna who would scream at me for my behavior.

All morning Delly stuck to Peeta's side. Tamryn's visit gave me a reprieve from the thoughts that occupied my mind. I went over the things I needed to say over and over. Words always failed me whenever I was confronted with my feelings for Peeta. It can't fail me now. No more alluding to or second-guessing my feelings. He deserved better than that. In truth a part of me did runaway from him not just to seek justice but out of fear. I'm scared that I can't truly make him happy. I've done more damage to his heart and mind since we've met. But I'm selfish. I deserve him. I didn't care if people thought otherwise. We belong to each other. I just need to stop sabotaging our relationship. Albeit, not that I did it intentionally. I'm impulsive and I knew I had to curb that behavior.

During lunch, I sat next to Peeta on his left side as Tamryn sat on his right. He struggled to eat his food only consuming half of his sandwich and soup. Delly kept her eyes on me while Bron looked back at her with concern and worry. She needed to back off. I love her protective nature for Peeta, but wasn't necessary. Not from me.

"Where's Effie?" I asked to quell the tension in the air.

"Making all the final arrangements for our trip," Johanna answered.

"Our trip?" I eyed Johanna and Delly.

"We are all going, all of us," Delly said as she leaned over to challenge me. I realized that I haven't finished packing my backs for the trip. Johanna added.

"She made sure that everyone has packed their bags. They are already at the train station in a holding bin." I sighed in relief. I didn't want to leave Peeta's side even to pack my belongings.

"Paylor and Dr. Aurelius has permitted us to have stay over at District 7 and 4," Haymitch stated. We all looked surprised by the announcement. Peeta looked pleased.

"How long are we staying?" Delly asked, peaked with interest. "I love District 7." I'm not surprised since 7 main industries were forestry and lumber. It rivaled the woods and forest with 12.

"A week in each district," Haymitch answered. "It was Peeta's idea. He wanted to surprise all of you. Especially Johanna. He knew she misses it." Johanna smiled at Peeta for his thoughtfulness. It made me love him even more.

"And Paylor and Aurelius allowed it?" Johanna questioned.

"Well, they allowed the trip for everyone except for Katniss," he admitted. "She can only come with us in one condition." My brows furrowed. "You may accompany Peeta on the trip if you have a few sessions with Aurelius in the Capitol." I choked in anger. How dare he try to blackmail me into having sessions with him? For months I ignored his requests when I first returned to 12. I didn't need or want his help. I wallowed in my grief and anger those few months. "If you don't agree, you are to stay here."

"You don't have to go, Katniss." Peeta said. "I know that the Capitol is the last place you want to go."

"But you're going…"

"I need to go," he interjected. "I need to do this. For me. I want to heal and get better." He knew that I hated returning to the Capitol.

I closed my eyes. If I go I'll face Aurelius and his never-ending questions. If I don't go, I'll go out of my mind with worry. "I need you. I need you to stay with me."

Peeta sighed. "I'll delay the trip for a month if you want. But I thought, two weeks in 7 and 4, could give us a bit of time together before my treatment." I gasped in surprise. He was planning time for us. Even after what I did to him yesterday, running out on him. Breaking his heart.

Without of second of hesitation I blurted. "Yes, okay. I'll do it for you."

He cringed at my outburst. "Don't do it for me, please." His face was pained with sadness. "Do it because you want to. Not because you think I want you to. Do it for yourself." I grabbed his hand. He stiffened for a second then relaxed.

"Okay."

An hour after lunch, we all stood at the platform at the train station. The moment was heartbreaking as Tamryn clung to Peeta. Her tears and sobs broke my heart. Delly, Bron and Haymitch stood a few feet away from us. The Guardsmen were already in the train to secure and survey the rooms reserved for all of us. Four private quarters were reserved with a dining and living area. Effie made sure of providing us the best accommodations with no expense spared. Four victors were traveling in the train. She said that we deserved the best.

"You promise to come back," Tamryn cried as he held onto his leg. He lifted her in his arms with ease.

"I don't make promises I don't keep, sweetie." He comforted her rubbing his hands down her back. "Why should I leave my best girl behind?" She wiped her eyes and stared into his blue orbs, glistening with tears.

"I'm not your best girl." She turned to me. "Katniss is your girlfriend."

"Who says I can't have you both as my best girls, hmm." He tickled her little tummy. She giggled, eyes brightening with his statement.

"I love you, Peeta." She hugged him tight wrapping her tiny arms around his neck.

"I love you too." He held for a moment then turned to her. "So is it okay if I kiss you on the cheek? Because I know you think boys are yucky. And smelly." He teased her pressing his nose on her cheek.

"You're not yucky or smelly. Besides, I still want you to be my daddy." She giggled, laughter filled her gray eyes. He sobbed for joy as she kissed him on the cheek. "When you and Katniss have a baby, I'll be her big sister. I teach her to draw and paint like you taught me." The thought of having Peeta's children warmed and scared me. Do I even want children after losing Prim? I shook the thought from my mind. Peeta gave her a sad smile. I was about to reply when Effie appeared before us.

"Time to go ladies and gentlemen," she announced. Effie wore a blood red dress that caught everyone's attention. It wasn't flamboyant or over-the-top like she usually wore during the Victor Tour and at the Capitol. Yet it screamed 'Effie' all over her.

"So, you be a good girl and listen to your Granma," Peeta told Tamryn. "And when I come back I'll have a surprise for you, okay?' She nodded her head with her sad eyes and pouty lip. "I'll be back I promise. Pink swear." He hooked his large pinkie with her tiny one. He placed her on the floor and placed a kiss on the top of her head. "Bye, sweetie. See you when I get back." He walked towards the train and turned at the last minute and waved good-bye to Tamryn and Sae. Delly boarded the train as she wiped tears from her eyes. Bron shook his head in amusement at his girlfriend.

The compartments on the train remained the same. A familiar ache radiated through my body as memories flashed before my eyes. I have never enjoyed traveling by train. They always led me away from home and Prim. The last trip I was certain that I was not coming back. I was too drugged to recall how I got home after the war. I never asked or wondered. We situated ourselves in the living area where there were monitors and a bar to accommodate our enjoyment and stay while traveling to District 7. Effie didn't spare a cent for our comfort or our needs.

We ate early, as supper was subdued and quiet. The trip held so many emotions for everyone. Johanna was giddy in anticipation for returning to District 7. Peeta remained quiet and aloof throughout dinner. My nerves were shattered as each mile drew us closer to the Capitol.

"I missed 7. Mind you, 12 is my home now with my family but I miss my old haunts and the people there." Johanna sighed in melancholy.

"Do you still have family in 7," Bron asked. She shook her head and looked out the window as we passed through District 11. "I have no one left to love." My mind envisioned us back in the Quarter Quell. The memories were too raw and fresh to be forgotten.

Somehow news spread all over Panem that Peeta and I were on our way to the Capitol. The train was forced to stop at each district as hundreds of people gathered at the platform waiting for our appearance. It didn't' matter what time we arrived whether it was in the wee hours of the morning, the train stopped. It was déjà vu of our Victory Tour. Eleven was the hardest stopover as I recognized Rue's family in the forefront of the massive crowd. As usual words escaped me as Rue's mother approached Peeta and I with a bunch of flowers.

"I cannot tell you how grateful I am for what you've done, what you've sacrificed to free Panem," Rue's mother spoke, her eyes teary. "Rue would have been so proud of you, both of you." She hugged Peeta and myself then joined her family amidst the crowd. They lifted three fingers in the air and whistled. I burst into tears as Peeta held me offering his comfort and support.

It's around 11 in the evening. We're scheduled to arrive at District 7 by the day after tomorrow. No one was prepared to go to bed just yet. I wanted to get Peeta alone but Delly thwarted my attempts. The whole day had been tiring and overwhelming. My thoughts drifted back to our stop at 11. I cherished the thoughtfulness of Rue's family and will be forever grateful of my association with Rue. All evening my mind was filled of Prim; all the children who died since the beginning of the games. The magnitude of what the rebellion accomplished finally hit me. _'There never be anymore games.'_ I swore to myself. Haymitch once told me that it wasn't me that ignited the rebellion but a boy from 12 who declared his affection to an unsuspecting girl from his district. Who would have thought that their union ignited the first blush of a rebellion? Suddenly, Kara appeared to my surprise.

"Sorry to arriving so late, but since you're all up," she announced herself. She had a small medical bag in her hand.

"What are you doing here?" I asked in mild irritation as she sat next to Peeta. I clung to him for most of the day, afraid that if I let him go, he'll disappear.

"I'm here for Peeta until returning back to 12 from his treatments," she explained. She lifted Peeta's hand to check on his wristband. At times, I forgot he still wore the band. Though there are moments when he felt an episode about to surface but he managed to recover before descending into madness or activating his wristband. His affliction may never be cured. I still love him nonetheless. "Is there someplace where I can check your vitals in private?" Not without me; you're not checking his 'vitals.' I almost blurted.

"His room is the farthest compartment," Effie instructed. The largest and most luxurious of all, complete with shower and dressing room. "I should let everyone know what the sleeping arrangements are." She stood up.

"The Guardsmen and Haymitch are assigned in the first compartment as requested," she added. The first boxcar was to provide security since no one will have passage to the last four compartments in the train. Passengers would have to pass through them to reach Peeta and I. "Next is Bron and Delly. Johanna and I will be second to the last. Which will leave Peeta and Katniss at the very end." I was shocked by her allowance for me to stay with Peeta. She winked at me. "I'm not about to argue with you, Katniss. I know that no force in Panem can separate you from him."

"Besides, she would sneak into his bed if you forced the issue," Johanna guffawed. She was right, I would. I never want to sleep without him, ever.

"Come on, Peeta. Time for a check up." Delly stated as she stood up with Kara.

"It's okay, Delly," I said as I blocked her path. "I'll accompany Peeta to 'our' room with Kara." I challenged her, eye-to-eye as I stared her down. My heart skipped a beat as Delly's brow raised upward.

"About time." She smirked at me as I held onto Peeta's hand.

Our compartment was large and spacious, a room fit for a President. I doubt any president traveled by train. It's too much of a security risk. Though Peeta's detail was quite impressive, 3 Victors, 6 Guardsmen, a nurse and a former Reaping escort. All willing to do what was necessary to protect him. Peeta sat on the bed, his hands shook that I volunteered to unbutton his shirt as Kara stood watch. I'm saddened that this moment of intimacy was tainted by Kara's presence; that my relationship with Peeta shifted because of my actions.

Once his shirt was removed, Kara checked his heart. He winced when the cold stethoscope grazed his skin. "Take a deep breath," she instructed him. "Again." I held on to his right hand. Throughout his exam he remained quiet and didn't utter a word; not a sound from his lips as Kara took samples of his blood and replaced his wristband. "Rub this on his wrist while I adjust his new wristband." She said as she handed me a blue bottle.

I applied the balm to his wrist. The constant wear of the unit chaffed his skin; it was raw and pink. Just like his leg, it needed a balm to sooth his skin. Taking his wrist I massaged his arm as he sighed in appreciation. Peeta kept his eyes low avoiding any contact. _'Look at me, Peeta.'_ I sent to him in my mind. The world around us didn't exist. In my mind's eye, it was only the two of us in the compartment as I massaged his arm. It was a sensual act that I intend to repeat within the privacy of our room without an audience. Kara's words filtered me back into reality. "…he agreed that once his treatments are done and yield some positive results, Peeta won't have to wear this any longer." Huh?

"You're doing so well, Peeta." Her was voice soft and comforting. "Just think you won't have to wear this in the near future."

"Kara," Peeta spoke for the first time in hours.

"Yes, Peeta?"

"When can I have the tattoo removed from my leg?" He rubbed his hand down his upper left thigh as if he was wiping the tattoo off. I didn't realize that the offending ink bothered him. I should have known that it was a constant reminder of his abduction and his time with her. I wanted to vomit.

"Anytime, Peeta. It's fully healed now." She placed a hand on top of his. I flinched at the comforting gesture, restraining my jealous and anger.

"I want it off now."

"I'm sorry, but I don't have equipment with me," she apologized. "What if I accompany you at District 7's Medical Center? I can have it removed while we're there?" He nodded his head.

"Please. I want it off me right away." He said as he bit his lower lip.

"I'll make the arrangements. So, your heart rate a bit fast, but that's to be expected." She stated. "I know that you're not looking forward to returning to the Capitol. I wish there is more that I can do. I don't want to give you any anxiety medication. Revisiting all the districts has to be overwhelming." She looked at me for a second.

"How are you doing, Katniss? I assume that's it the same for you as well." She was packing her things in her medical bag. "I'm your doctor too, so don't be afraid to ask for me if you need any medical attention."

"I just need Peeta," I stated. "He's all I need." It was the truth. As long as I'm with him, he was the best medicine for me.

"Okay, I'm done," she said as she turned to leave. 'Good-night." Finally, we're alone and away from any distractions and interruptions. Peeta walked passed me.

"I need to use the restroom." I dipped my shoulders in disappointment. After a few minutes he excited the room and went straight to bed. He removed the rest of his clothes until he only wore a pair of boxers and t-shirt. His eyes cast on anything but me.

"Peeta," I started.

"Not now, Katniss," he interjected. "I don't have the mindset or energy." He looked tired and withdrawn. I couldn't risk upsetting him since he lacked the strength or will power to talk to me. "It's been a long and tiring day. I just want to sleep."

"When are we going to talk so I can explain…"

"When we get to District 7, I promise," he said. "I need you." He extended his hand to me. "I'm tired and I want you to lie down with me."

"Give me a few minutes," I relented as I walked to the bathroom. By the time I returned he was sitting against the headboard under the covers waiting for me. His fake leg rested against a nightstand. I duplicated my sleepwear to match his. Peeta flipped the blanket beside him inviting me to lay down next him. I didn't argue and sighed in relief as I slipped under the sheet. He wasn't angry but resigned as he laid his head on my chest and buried his face against my neck. "I missed you." I admitted as I kissed the top of his head. He was fast asleep seconds placed his head on my chest. I sighed in disappointment but relieved that he didn't turn me away as I anticipated.

After breakfast we arrived at District 10, two children from the district approached Peeta and me. A little girl at the tender age of 5 with dark hair and gray eyes stood with a blond hair, blue eyed little boy besides her. They approached us with flowers in their hands. It was like watching mini versions of Peeta and me walking towards us. As they stopped in front of us, mini Peeta held his head high and proud as the little girl stood behind him.

We leaned down and accepted the flowers. "Thank you sweetie," I said as I smiled at them. "These are beautiful." He smiled, she giggled. They were adorable. He wore a light blue dress shirt tucked inside his short slacks with black patent shoes and white socks. A bandaged covered his left knee. The little girl beside him wore a green dress a bit too large for her tiny frame. She held on to the little boy's hand in a tight grip.

"Thank you, Ms. Everdeen, Mr. Mellark for saving our lives," he spoke with a practiced manner as he turned to look back at his parents for approval. I smiled inward as I realized that these two will have a future; a future without the games threatening their lives. This was what we fought for.

We suffered through the same fanfare at District 9 and 8. It was the same crowd with the same sentiments of condolences for our loss and eternal gratitude for freeing Panem. Different faces but the same look of pain for those who lost a loved one in the games and the rebellion. My knees buckled each time we were confronted by them. Through it all Peeta held and comforted me with his words and strong arms. Never wavering in his support and strength just like during the games and the tour. I felt sick with guilt as I remembered how I ran from him during the times he needed me the most.

By the time we reached 7, we're tired, heartsick but relieved from the attention. We settled in a log cabin that accommodated all of us. It was impressive as it housed 6 bedrooms, a large kitchen to feed an army, entertainment room and study. What I love most was the outdoors with the large trees and foliage surrounding us as the house was situated next to a lake. It felt like home.

On our first morning at District 7, I woke up with a sense of anxiety and anticipation for I knew this was the day I would confront Peeta and have our long awaited conversation. It couldn't be delayed much longer. As expected, Peeta was not besides me. The day seemed promising, as I smelled Cheese Buns in the air. I jumped out of bed and changed into a pair of slacks and blouse, with a quick brush to my hair. I ran down the stairs and found everyone in the large dining area. Effie was serving coffee and tea, Haymitch was setting the flatware while Delly and Johanna ran in and out the room dropping plates of eggs, bacon, hash and an assortments of bread on the table. This was our routine back at 12. The guys were settled in the seat.

"Hey, just in time. Breakfast is ready," Delly chirped.

"Where's Peeta," I asked as I panicked for a moment.

"Manning the kitchen," Johanna said. "He rose early and kicked everyone out of the kitchen to prepare breakfast. We were just waiting for you."

The love of my life walked in the room; his hands held a large platter of most scrumptious looking cheese buns. His hair was tousled as his eyes gleamed with delight. He looked up and smiled at me. "Hungry," he asked.

I nodded, "Yes." I was starved for more than his cheese buns. He fed my weary heart and soul. He was my sustenance, my love and my life. I hungered for him.

Like a military corps breakfast was dealt with efficiency and precision as the guys bussed the tables, washed the dishes and reorganized the kitchen. The girls and I sat back enjoying the view. My eyes were only on Peeta as he stood besides them drying the plates.

"So what's the plans for today?" Effie asked.

"I thought I show you and Delly around and a day of shopping," Johanna announced.

"I have a few calls to make before we reached the Capitol, but I'll join you ladies for lunch, if you don't mind?" Haymitch added. At last, Peeta and I were left alone for once albeit the Bron and his guys were probably sticking around to guard him.

"What are your plans, Peeta?" Effie inquired.

"Oh, uhm…Katniss and I made plans," he answered as his cheeks turned pink. We did? I didn't contradict him. "We're going to take a hike and visit Eagle's nest that Johanna mentioned." They nodded in acknowledgement of his agenda. It was time.

One hour later, Delly, Johanna and Effie met me at the door as they prepared to leave for the day.

"Have fun and whatever you do, don't run," Johanna said in a firm voice. She hugged me close and exited the house. Delly looked skittish as she approached me.

"Explain, apologize and listen. Don't get mad at him, he doesn't deserve your anger," she advised. "And remember he loves you, don't forget it." I nodded my head as she squeezed me tight. "And then, I want every sordid and sexy detail of your make-up sex." I blushed so hard that I felt my cheeks burn from embarrassment and excitement. She teased me as she slipped a bottle of lube in my hand and winked. She was definitely corrupted by Johanna. I wouldn't have her any other way. I sighed in relief for their encouragement and support.

"You ready to go?" Peeta spoke startling me. He wore dark khakis, dark green shirt and military boots. Johanna was kind enough to let me borrow her hiking clothes. The Guardsmen were outside waiting for us. I noticed that Peeta carried a medium size backpack with two tins for water. I wished I had packed my bow but thought against it. He extended his hand as I clasped it tight. I didn't know or care where we were going as long as I was him.

An hour later, we followed a trail that led to a ridge with the most breathtaking view. I noticed that the Guardsmen stay behind about a quarter of a mile back. I was relieved and petrified when I realized that this was Peeta's agenda. We were going to have our 'talk' out in the woods. Just the two of us. This was reminiscent to when we camped out after our date night.

"What do you think?" he asked with a look of anxiety and nervousness in his face.

"This is so beautiful. Thank you for taking me here," I acknowledged as I hugged him for the first time in hours since he last touched me. He laid a blanket on the dirt floor placing his backpack besides him. He pointed to the space beside him. I was tempted to sit on his lap, needing the warmth and closeness I missed so much. I sat close to him grabbing his hand.

"First, I want you to know that I love you," I announced. For hours I rehearsed what I wanted to say, trying to cover every aspect of sorrow, guilt and shame for my actions. But now that we're here, words failed me so I said the foremost thought in my mind that I needed for him to know. "I love you." I said it clearly and succinctly. He didn't react.

"Katniss," he started. His eyes diverted me, staring at the view in front of us. There in his blue crystal orbs were pain and sorrow, not the reaction I expected or anticipated.

"Please, Peeta. I need you to understand that what I did…was a mistake." I bit my lower lip as I wrung my hands together. Courage failed me as I struggled to express my regret for running out on him. He pinched the bridge of nose between his fingers as he closed his eyes.

"I know you're mad at me" I stated.

"I was…disappointed," he admitted. "I mean I was mad at first, but then I realized that I was more mad at myself really. I could never stay mad at you ever."

"Please forgive me," I sobbed.

"Nothing to forgive." I gasped in surprise. _'What?'_ His next words struck me in the chest. "It's what I expected. So you don't need to explain."

"No, Peeta." My mind scrambled to find words and sentences to form in my head.

"I shouldn't have been surprised or hurt that you reacted that way." He continued.

'_What the fuck!'_ "That's not fair," I yelled at him as tears crowded my eyes. "Let me explain…"

"Nothing to explain," he said in a monotone manner. His eyes were sad as he bit his lip. "You found out what she did to me, got disgusted with me and left."

"That's not why I ran." I defended myself. "I was angry that she hurt you. I wanted to find her and kill her for what she did to you."

"It's doesn't matter why you ran, what mattered was that you ran. Away from me."

"I didn't run away from you, damnit," I roared into the air with my hands clenched by my side. I was angry with him and at myself. At Eva.

He stood up as I followed suit standing right in front of him. "You left me," he screamed. "Do you know what's like…I've been in love with you since I was five and…these last few weeks. You finally…let me in…be with you. And the first sign of trouble you ran." His chest heaved as he struggled to breath through his nose. He panted through his mouth gasping for air. I checked on his wristband as the displayed turn yellow. He needed to calm down as he took a deep breath to settle him. He chanted, _'Breath, breath.'_

"I wasn't running away from you," I repeated back as I mimicked his breathing pattern.

"I fucking know that," he returned as he gritted his teeth. He brushed a hand over his head. "I knew why you ran."

"You do?"

"Yes, I know. I know you, Katniss." He sighed, tired and resigned. "I know how you react to certain situations and your first impulse beside anger is to run."

"Then why are you…"

"You should have been with me…not run after Eva. I needed you." He knocked the wind out of me. He knew. "I just revealed every sordid, disgusting things she did to me…I just needed you. And you left. You left me and I wanted to die." He rubbed his hands over his chest.

"I was so angry."

"I know."

"She hurt you and all I saw…I didn't feel anything but anger and hate for what she did."

"I know," he repeated.

"I didn't run away to hurt you, Peeta." I admitted.

"But you ran and it did hurt me. I thought…I thought you didn't want me anymore," he sobbed clutching his chest. "I thought you were disgusted with me…after what she did to me." He turned around, his back towards me. I gasped in guilt and shame. '_How could he think that?'_

"Never, Peeta." I hugged him from behind, his chest heaving as he cried. He pulled away from me.

"Don't touch me," He bellowed. "It's why you ran. You'd rather hunt down Eva then be with me." He's ranting and sobbing, not making any sense. "You think I'm …I'm dirty and disgusting. You don't want me anymore and you're using her as an excuse."

"No Peeta. That's now why…" I grabbed him hard against my chest as he struggled to free himself. "I want you, only you. I want you so much…I want you touch me…like you did that night. I think about it all the time. How you made me come with you fingers, your mouth sucking my nipples." He gasped in surprise. "Only you can make feel that way. Only you. And I want to do it again."

"You still want me like that?" His voice hitched as he wiped tears from his eyes.

"Yes, always…all the time." I conceded and nodded my head. I kissed his lips soft and sweet. I tasted his tears. "Listen, I'm sorry I ran away. I should have stayed with you. I made a big mistake...I was just so angry with her. She took something away from you. Something that I wanted…you're first time should have been with me."

"It was only going to be you." He admitted.

"And it will be…she's never getting near you again, I swear." He looked at me and saw my determination to keep him safe, away from Eva's obsession.

"Katniss, please don't go after her," he pleaded. "I know you will if given half the chance. She's done enough damage to the both of us. Don't appease you anger by going after her."

"But Peeta, she hurt you, " I whined.

"She did. There isn't a single moment each day that I don't struggle to fight the memories. I want to wash it all away from my mind. But the more I think about it and her, the more I get angry. I don't want to be angry." He sat down, defeated and tired. I sat astride him and placed both my hands on his cheeks. His breath grazed my lips as I leaned my forehead against his warm brow. The sun was high above us. I felt sweat drip down between my breasts. I was hot but not from the sun but from Peeta's close proximity.

"You have every right to be angry." He relaxed and placed his hands on my hips as I wrapped my legs around him; settling my body firmly on top of his lap.

He shook his head. "Aren't you tired of being angry all the time? Aren't you sick and tired of feeling like your chest is about to burst? I can't live like that. There is no room in my heart for anger, resentment and bitterness. How can I love you, the way you deserved to be loved if I let that linger?" He placed a hand on my cheek. "I'd rather live a lifetime of loving you than being angry with her. It'll only eat us alive."

"I don't how to let it go." I admitted to him as I leaned back and toyed with the buttons on his shirt.

'Don't let it consume you," he begged me. "I watched my mother's bitterness and resentment fester and harden her. She was difficult to love but I loved her anyway." Like the way he loved me when I ignored and denied my feelings for him. "I won't become her. I refuse to. Katniss, I don't want you fighting my battles. Stand beside me. I don't need to be avenged. I don't need retribution, I just need you."

This is why I love him. He refused to let the ugliness around him change him. His simple words soothed my soul and lit my heart afire. He's an addiction and obsession I never want a cure. I sobbed as I held him in my arms. Our tears of sorrow and pain mingled with love and devotion.

"I'm so sorry." I stated again not for him but for me. "Tell me that I didn't ruin us…that I didn't shatter you're trust in me." I couldn't live without his love and his trust.

"Shh…we're okay." He comforted me with his hands and words. He kissed my forehead. "I trust you to do what you do best. I may not like it but it's who and what you are that I trust. You're loyal, obstinate, kind and impatient. You're a contradiction of strength and weakness. You love deeply and obsessively. You fight for what you believe in and would sacrifice your own life for those you love. And any man would be lucky to be loved by you."

"Thank you," I said as I sighed and held him tight in my arm, encircling them around his waist. I laid my head on his shoulders. He smelled of yeast, flour and jasmine. It was an aphrodisiac as the familiar tingle bubbled in my groin. Delly was sure to be disappointed since his faith and trust in me was what I needed at the moment. I shook my thoughts of my lust and desire for him aside. It wasn't the right time.

"For what?" He said as he touched our noses together, tickling me.

"For being patient, for knowing me better than myself," I acknowledged and giggled as his nose traveled down my cheek and throat.

"No thanks necessary," he returned. "You're easy to love."

"Not according to Haymitch," I debated.

"I think all of Panem would disagree with him," he teased. I missed this banter and ease we have for each other. I never felt comfortable conversing with people. Even with Gale, conversation was terse and laced with bitterness and hate. We fueled each other's anger. It's why we would have never worked out. I never loved him the way I love Peeta. He soothed and lit me on fire. I never felt lust and desire before I me him.

"Seriously, Katniss. We need to face things together. No more making decision for each other," he said. I nodded my head.

"So we're okay?" I asked one more time. I needed the assurance.

'Hmm…yes we are. We're more than okay. I say we're brilliant," I giggled and gasped as one of his hands slipped inside my shirt. "I think that was our first fight as couple."

"Yeah." I licked my lips in anticipation. I wasn't going to initiate any intimacy. After his session, I didn't want to push him. If Peeta wanted to play, I had not objection. I missed his lips and his kisses. "I missed you."

"Missed you too." He worked the buttons on my shirt. I wanted to scream at him to just rip it off but held my tongue. The cool air brushed my heated skin as the shirt dropped down my shoulders. Peeta played with the edges of my bra. Teasing me as he palmed my breast.

"Wanna make up some more," he breathed and grazed his lips along my collarbone tracing his talented tongue between my breasts. One of his hands was unbuttoning my pants while the other moved my bra aside revealing my hard nipple to the cool air.

"Fuck yes," I screamed. The world disappeared as Peeta licked then latched his mouth on my exposed nipple. Sucking hard. I lost my sense of reason and reality.

Peeta raised his head from my breast with a pop. "I think we need to fight some more. You're fucking hot when you're angry." He returned to my other breast as he twirled his tongue on the neglected twin. I moaned loud and deep. He pushed me down on the floor laying me on my back.

I looked at the sky above me as he worked his fingers down my pants. Two weeks in District 4 and 7 without any distractions, I swore that I would help Peeta heal in the meantime, and let the law handle Eva. He was right that we had no room for hate in our hearts. I strived to keep my promise to do better for him as well as for myself. It's a promise I made to myself and I hope that I can keep.

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**AN: Thank you for reading. Have a great weekend.**


	30. Chapter 30 - Conversations With A Victor

Chapter 30 – Conversations with a Victor

_AN: Thank you to all those who left a review or comment. I am grateful that you took time to write them. Hope you'll enjoy this new installment._

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**Peeta POV – **

Katniss leaned against my shoulder as she wrapped an arm around my waist. I held onto her hand as we walked back to the cabin. We're giddy and playful as every few yard she grabbed and pushed me against a tree. We shared long deep kisses that sent my heart a flutter. Once we started we couldn't stop.

"Thank you for the picnic," she said against my lips as she grounded her hips to mine. She had become bolder and confident with her advances. I'll never tire of her soft kisses that anchored me to the present. This was real. She was real. She looked beautiful and ethereal with the crown of flowers on her head. I carved our initials on a tree to her amusement.

"There, I wanted to commemorate our time together in District 7 before we left," I said as I pocketed the knife into my backpack. "I'd mark every tree to let all of Panem know just how much you mean to me."

"You're such a sap," she giggled. "I think Johanna and every forest conservationist would object to you defacing every tree in Panem." She sighed as she fingered her initials etched next to mine. "You're a hopeless romantic." True, but who knew when we would be back to visit this place. Dr. Aurelius recommended that I collected as many memories of good moments with Katniss. I needed this moment and our time together to commit to memory for my treatment.

"I wished we could have stayed longer but I didn't want to worry everyone," I sighed. "I don't wait to keep the guys waiting for too long."

"It's all right, we have tonight like you promised," she reminded me. "We can come back here before we leave. You have very talented hands. It wasn't fair that you got me naked and you kept your clothes on."

'You' re so beautiful," I said as I curled her hair behind her ear.

'I'm not." She shook her head. "You are inside and out."

"I'm not, you are. You're the most beautiful girl in Panem."

"You have to say that because you're my boyfriend," she retorted as she rolled her eyes.

"No, I always thought you were beautiful even before you became my girlfriend," I argued back. _'Why can't she that,'_ I heard myself ask. "Besides, I'm an artist. I see beauty in a lot of things. What about me then?"

"What about you?" Her brows furrowed in concern.

"I'm not beautiful. I'm not even whole. I'm broken in several pieces in body and in mind."

"Peeta, don't…" she interrupted me but I continued.

"I'm not big, strong and tall like Finnick, Gale and Bron for that matter." I'm wallowing in self-pity and I knew it. If my own mother did want me, how can anyone else? I could give a whole list of guys that were better than me. Better for Katniss.

She grabbed my head with both hands and kissed me hard. I felt light-headed and woozy.

"Listen to me. Finnick was gorgeous but he was too arrogant for my taste. Bron is a nice, good-looking guy, but he would have never understood me nor have any patience with me. Gale was…there was too much anger and bitterness. He was too much like me. You're perfect for me." She kissed me again short and sweet this time. "Don't ever think that other girls, women don't find you attractive."

"I didn't care of what they thought or felt. It's was always about you."

"I was always attracted to you, Peeta," she confessed. "I was too stubborn and afraid to admit it." She was veering into another path I was not inclined to discus just yet.

"I'm just happy that you didn't…I thought you were going to breakup with me," I admitted.

"Never, Peeta. I'm still new with this whole relationship thing," she stated. "I'm going to make mistakes. Big ones. I'll react first without thinking of the consequences. I'm impulsive…"

"How about me? I've wanted you all my life. But with my luck I know I'm going to mess up somehow," I conceded. In truth my new anxiety and fear was that she was going to get tired of me and give up. "I'm a mess and sometimes I don't know how to handle myself when you're near me."

"Guess we'll make mistakes together. Just be patient with me." She wrapped her arms around my waist and leaned her head against my chest. "I don't want anyone but you."

I bit my lip from tearing. This was more than a dream come true and it frightened me. "And I'll wait, Peeta. When we take the next step and…" She blushed bright red and stared at my lips. "I'll wait for you. I want to…" She hesitated. "With you and only you."

"Make love for the first time?" I finished for her. She nodded her head. "I don't know if I could ever…I'm so messed up in the head."

"And I'm not?" she interjected. "Peeta, I'm just as broken as you with my history for running and hiding in closets. I practically lived in them at 13."

"No more talking about messing up," I said as I her kissed her neck. She shivered. I love that I can do that for her. "Can I taste you later?"

"God, yes." She stumbled for a moment as I held her tight from falling.

"Do you think we have time for one more?" I asked. It was getting late, close to dark. I wanted no…I needed to feel her again before returning back to the cabin. I dropped my backpack on the ground as I placed my hands on her thin waist pulling her shirt from her pants.

She gasped as she nodded her head. I leaned down to kiss her. Memories of our hours together flashed in my mind as I trailed my tongue on her lips. Seeking entrance. "I love the way you come. You get so wet, it's fucking hot the way you come with my fingers inside you." She gasped in excitement and lust. Who knew she loved dirty talk?

She pushed me down against the tree as she straddled my legs. "I love it when you touch me. I can't get enough." Her lips hot and moist plundered my mouth as she sucked my tongue. I palmed her breasts through her shirt, pinching her nipples to hard buds. She moaned deep and low. "I can't wait. Make me come again."

I drew her shirt down and latched my tongue on her nipple, moving her bra aside. She squirmed and groaned as I unbuttoned her pants and slipped a hand into her wet center. "Fuck, hurry please." She was insatiable and greedy as I reached inside and shoved fingers into her pussy, bending the tips of my fingers with a come hither. "Yes," she screamed in the air as I sucked nipple hard into my mouth making a loud sucking sound.

"I want more." She cursed then stood up leaving me stunned. Afraid that I did something wrong, I closed my eyes. I heard her struggling with her clothes. I opened them when she kissed me deep straddling me again naked. She took my hand and I resumed thrusting my fingers into her pussy. Her shaved lips glistened as I worked at her swollen clit. She was so wet that copious amount of moisture made her slippery as my fingers thrust into her. She rode my finger with practiced ease, my hand cupping her breast while my fingers tweaked her nipples.

We looked down as we watched my fingers disappeared inside her. This was a sight I'll never forget; a sight that I'll commit to paper. Her hair was loose on her shoulders draping down her back. I didn't see the scars that marred her skin. Her skin glistened with sweat. She was beautiful, strong and mine. Her breasts bounced that I sucked each nipple never leaving the twin neglected. I swiped my rough tongue around each pebbled bud while my other hand pinched the other. Her moans grew louder, longer as it resonated from her throat. She was erratic as she thrust up and down, finding a rhythm then in a circular motion. She gasped loud and deep when she found a spot that made her legs quiver with need. Fast and slow, she commanded our pace, as I am her slave to do as she pleased. She moaned then panted through her mouth, she struggled to breath through her nose. She shrieked, "Yes, there right there, don't stop, please." I circled and pinched her swollen clit. She was a goddess on fire as the light beamed on her glimmering skin.

I forgotten our surrounding as a slight breeze enveloped us. It was a perfect day with clouds above us shrouding the sun. But the sun was edging toward the horizon and it would get dark soon.

She gripped my shoulders to steady her self. Her mouth was wide open gasping; panting for air. Her pants, groans and the noises she made were music to my ears. I'm attuned to her body by now. There isn't a part of her that I haven't sculpted with my hands. I felt every inch, dip and curve with my fingers. My sense of taste I'll introduce and acquaint myself later as my tongue will venture where my hands have explored. My mouth watered at the mere thought but my lower half was still unaffected. I tried not to feel disappointed since my thoughts were of only her pleasure. "Peeta, Peeta," she chanted. "Fuck I'm gonna…"

Suddenly, she clutched both hands to either side of my face, smashing her lips against mine as she screamed in my mouth. I bit her lower lip, which only added to her pleasure. A second later her body collapsed on top of me. I rubbed a hand up and down her sweaty back. Goose pimples formed, as the temperature got colder. She groaned when I removed my fingers from her still quivering center. She watched in amazement as I licked my digits. We sat there holding each other as we watched the sun descended into the horizon. She was glorious as she came with the sunset as her background. I'll never forget it.

"I'm sorry," I apologized as I noticed her lower lip was red and swollen from where I bit her.

"Huh, why?" A moment of fear crossed her face.

I thumbed said lip as she licked my finger. "I think I bit too hard. You're lip is swollen and red."

"You can bite me anytime." Her eyes twinkled as she teased me. "You've been marking my skin for some time now. Don't think I haven't noticed it. I like it. A lot." I'm so engrossed in pleasing her that I'm unaware of having bitten her on her chest and neck. I flinched. Images of Eva flashed in my mind as she bite me, trying to arouse me. Her refusal to my pleas only angered me. "Don't think about her." Katniss interrupted my thoughts. She squeezed me tight as I felt her hard nipples through my shirt. "What we do together doesn't compare to what she did to you. It's not dirty or shameful. In time I'll return the favor only when you're ready."

"We need to get going before the guys get here," I announced interrupting our moment. I loved our time together but we're out in the elements and my mind was muddled with thoughts of Eva and Katniss blending together.

"Shit," she screamed as she scrambled to dress up. Her eyes grew wide. "I forgot about them."

"Don't worry, Katniss." I pointed to the trail behind her. "That's the only way up this hill and I told them to wait down there. I wanted enough distance and privacy when I took you here." She sighed in relief as she buttoned her shirt and I buttoned her pants. I kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry, I should have waited until we got back but I couldn't help myself."

"It's not like I stopped you," she giggled. She hopped from one to the other trying to put her shoes on as she braced one hand on my shoulder for support. "I couldn't wait either. I never felt like this before." I sighed with happiness as she kissed me again. I pulled away as we got more heated. We became adept to pleasing each other as her presence soothed my turbulent thoughts. She's real and we're together. "I feel bad though." _Huh, what_? "You make me feel so good and I haven't returned the favor." She looked at my crotch.

"Seeing you come, tasting you. You don't know what it means to me that you let me do that for you." I palmed her cheek, my thumb grazing her swollen lips. "This is more than I dared to hope for. I never thought that we would get here." She was naked on my lap a few minutes before as her center glistened from my endeavor. The wet spot on my pants was evidence of her arousal. This was dream come true.

"One day, Peeta. We'll make love when the time is right for the both of us," she declared.

"I wish…we don't have any privacy back at the cabin." We were a company of 13 with Effie acting as a chaperone. "And I like it when you scream under my touch. You look so beautiful. I never thought I'd ever see you like that ever." She was speechless and before she could utter a word, one of Guardsmen signaled his approach. The sound of a whistle filled the air startling us.

"That's the guys; they're on their way up." Katniss straightened her shirt and hair. I kissed her one more time and grabbed her hand. I was happy that Katniss and I made up but my black thoughts haunted me. Never clearing my mind relieving me for a moment.

On the way back, the guys sent a sly glance and winks at me as I approached them. They also couldn't help but leer at Katniss. She was achingly beautiful despite her harden exterior. She had a slew of admirers from town as their stares and looks gave their admiration away. I'm a lucky guy and I knew it. I clutched on to her waist as a bout of possessive and Neanderthal-like behavior reared its' ugly head. She's mine and I'll challenge any man if it comes to it.

I was not looking forward to my conversation with Katniss. I had images and visions of her intermixed with Eva in my dreams. My fear of rejection loomed over my head once again. I was prepared this time if she had decided to end our relationship. This would have been my last attempt for I knew that I couldn't keep chasing after her. My heart couldn't take it. I'm emotionally exhausted as my heart was weary. It was going to be broken and shattered by Katniss one last time. I gave up. But she surprised me. She still wanted me even though she knew what Eva had done to me.

After my memories returned I felt dirty and ashamed. When I was recovering in the Capitol I couldn't handle anyone touching me. It took months before I felt comfortable whenever Delly touched me. Most of my experiences with women were either abusive or unwanted advances from lecherous Capitolites. My mother never had a loving touch; she was quick to slap, shove or hit me whenever she was angry with me. Katniss never touched me during our time as Victors or when we pretended to be lovers. She never initiated any kind of intimacy during 'our engagement.' Eva took what she wanted and when she wanted me no matter how much I rejected her advances. Johanna…well she was the only woman who I held onto for comfort and support. The need for companionship was imperative to us. No one but she and I knew what we endured or how we suffered at the hands of Snow and the Capitol. It took a seven-year-old little girl's love to crack my veneer.

I needed the sense of touch to reacquaint myself back to the society. I saw too much that was unreal during my hijacking. When Katniss ran off I stifled the impulse to get angry. I felt the beginnings of an episode. I couldn't afford to bask in anger, to relish in hate and rage. Negative emotions like rage and anger left me exhausted and my chest ached. I didn't like myself afterwards.

As we reached the cabin, the front door slammed opened as Delly and Johanna rushed out the door to greet us. They gave me a quick hug then Delly grabbed Katniss by the arms.

"Girl talk time," Delly gushed as Johanna smirked at me, winking. Delly led Katniss away from the house and walked towards the dock by the lake. Johanna looped her arm around mine. The guys followed in a discreet distance.

"So did you and Katniss make up or should I ask?" she inquired as she wiggled her brows in a familiar tease. She looked me over at my disheveled state. The spot on my pants was obvious. "I see that you've been busy." She fingered a spot on my neck. I left several red marks on Katniss' skin rebranding her as mine. She enjoyed receiving them and retaliated with equal fervor. I felt the soft and sore spot on the base of my neck. I remembered how Katniss' teeth latched on while she stifled her screams of release as she rode my fingers. I panicked at first but relaxed as I chanted that it was Katniss astride me not Eva. Her eyes were dazed and she had a satisfied look on her face. It was a bite worth receiving if that was the result; she was happy and satiated. She asked for a repeat. Who was I to deny her?

"Thanks for suggesting to go the Eagle's Nest it was a perfect place for us to talk things over." I remembered the first time Johanna took me there. It was a few days after visiting Annie. I wasn't eager to go back home just yet. My mind still had fringes of Mutt Katniss swimming in my head. I was afraid of my reception and my homecoming. I felt peace and solitude for the first time in months at the nest. The open air and space was a welcome sight from the white walls and smells of antiseptic. I was tired of the myriad of people and personnel that invaded my space and privacy. Prodding me, sticking needles in my arms and asking me incessant questions of my mental and physical health accompanied with never ending barrage of medication I was forced to take. I was getting treatments but I was still in the hospital. Enough said. I needed to be left alone and away from the constant memories of my torture and abuse. District 7 was second home to me. Katniss was first.

"So I don't have to have a long and serious talk with her," she said in teasing manner but I knew there was anger behind her concern.

"Please don't," I begged. "She knew that she did wrong. Don't punish her for being who she is. All of us handle stressful situations differently." I baked when I'm stressed while Johanna threw sharp and deadly objects within her vicinity.

"That's what I love about you," she snickered. "So forgiving."

I turned my head when I heard Delly's giggle. Katniss shoved her as she continued to laugh. They were both sitting at the end of dock with their feet wading the surface of the water. Johanna and I stopped at the center of the patio watching them.

"Are you really okay, Peeta?" Her was tone serious. I smiled as Delly made kissing sounds and hand gestures. Katniss blushed red while threatening to push her into the lake.

"I'm getting there, Johanna, I'm getting there." I smiled to assure her.

Days later, the atmosphere at the cabin were light and carefree. The women disappeared for a couple of hours demanding that we, the men, stay away from the kitchen. They deemed it was the ladies' turn to cook dinner for us. To set my mind at ease and from tension and anxiety, I commandeered the kitchen for our meals. The girls took turns assisting me with Katniss by my side. So Bron, Haymitch and I stared in disbelief and fear. As far as I knew Effie didn't know the difference between a cookbook and a lawnmower instructions manual. Johanna barely cooked since Delly was in charge of that endeavor when we lived together. Katniss learned to cook by necessity when her mother check on out on them. With four strong personalities butting their heads for dominance, it was a disaster waiting to happen.

"Sheesh," Haymitch appeared at my side. "Don't try going into the kitchen, it's a warzone in there with no leader to command them" I smirked at his analogy. "I wanted to get a glass of water and they threw me out." A bottle of water landed on Haymitch's lap.

"There," Johanna said as she turned around to head back into the kitchen. "We'll call when dinner is ready."

"What's the big deal?" Haymitch yelled after her. She ignored him. I took the opportunity to walk outside for some time alone. The Guardsmen were always around but at a discreet distance never interfering my time with Katniss or anyone for that matter.

I looked at the view ahead of me. It's been four days since we left 12. Our stay had been drama free and relaxing. For some reason the peace and the tranquility unnerved me. It's too quiet. My eyes perused the landscaped before me. The view took my breath away. However the closer we get to the Capitol the uneasy I get. Whatever peace I felt was short lived. I felt as though my days at the Capitol were numbered. It's like the games all over again. As for Katniss, though she tried hard to remain strong and positive, I knew that she was not looking forward to be back at a place that caused her more harm and loss than anyone I knew. She tried to hide it from me, but I knew better. We took turns waking each other with our nightmares and enduring sleepless nights. Through it all, we weathered it together.

The cabin was a great place to relax and get away from the populace. When we first arrived Bron and Delly stayed behind for a day to make arrangements for our stay at the Capitol. Johanna drove us to the cabin as the Guardsmen trailed behind us. I had preferred to release the security detail but that wasn't going to happen. This was my life for the moment.

"How are you doing, kid?" Haymitch said as he stood beside me staring at the sunset interrupting my thoughts.

"I've good and bad days." I said. In truth these past few days were sprinkled with moments when I felt an episode appearing. Katniss stood by me even as I yelled at her to leave me. She held my hands in a tight grip, her eyes cemented to mine as she spoke to me soft and clear. Her words penetrated my haze easing back to reality. Back to her.

"So…"

"So…" I repeated after him. He looked uneasy with his clasped hands in front of him as he leaned on the guardrail.

"You and Katniss…" he started then smirked.

Oh God, please don't tell me he's about to give me 'the sex' talk. Haymitch had a look in his eyes. The same look my father gave me the talk when I turned 12. I chuckled at the memory as he went through the same speech he gave my older brothers. I already knew about it since my brothers were talking about sex long before my father gave the 'sex talk.'

"I'm really glad that you and Katniss finally got your shit together." He smiled. I returned it in kind.

"Okay," I responded. "I feel that there's a but coming."

"No, I didn't mean to sound that way." He rubbed the stubble on his chin. "Its just I've never really seen her so happy before. I mean that I've never known her to be at ease and happy with herself. She's still the same standoffish, stubborn and scowling girl I know, but when she's with you, there's a side of her I've never seen before."

"You just haven't been looking at her right," I corrected him.

"No, I don't think you give yourself enough credit," he added. "You should have seen her when she got back. It was heart wrenching watching her disappear within herself."

"She had you and Greasy Sae to help her recover." As for me, I was busy trying not to succumb to my hijacking to even notice that she was absent in my life. I was useless to everyone.

"My point is, you two made it, Peeta," he stated. "She finally got her head out of her ass and you both helped each other heal. And here you are."

"It's far from over, Haymitch or have you forgotten Eva and my treatment." I reminded him.

"That's nothing. You had worse odds than this," he encouraged me. I thought of the last two years of my life and what Katniss and I endured. What odds we had against us; Snow, the games, the rebellion and my hijacking. There was still one obstacle I knew I had to confront Katniss with…Gale. There will always be a kernel of doubt and distrust on my part when it came to Gale Hawthorne. I didn't want to address my concern since we had finally gotten together. There was still Eva to contend with and…

"Haymitch, I know that once Eva is apprehended my worries is far from over," I told him. "I know that you suspect that she has a partner. The guy she was with is probably the one that had been stalking me since I got back."

"I knew you'd figure it out," he sighed.

"I suspected it and hoped I was wrong that it was a coincidence she showed up the same time I was being stalked."

"It's a foregone conclusion, Peeta," he admitted as much. Even if they caught Eva there was still him to worry about because who ever he is, he is far more dangerous than Eva. She was obsessed with me but he will hurt everyone I care about to get to me.

"Something on your mind besides Katniss," he asked. "You've been walking around like you're in haze."

"I want this to be over."

"It will be. You need to be patient." He turned to me. "It's only a matter of time until he makes a mistake. As for Eva, I got an update that she was seen at District 8."

"Eight, that's the Textile district." District 8 main industries were textiles and the jobs held there were factory workers, weaver, dressmakers, designers, teacher and tailor/seamstress. It was strange place for her to hide out. I didn't see the connection.

"Yeah, odd don't you think?" He paused then continued. "But it makes some sense. I mean that's where they grow Snow's signature roses. The climate and soil is perfect for growing them." I never knew that. "Anyway, I'm going to call a meeting tonight to discuss our next move. We need to make plans before we reach District 4 and the Capitol." Yup, this felt like going back to the arena fighting for our lives. But this time around Katniss and I are together.

"I was hoping you suggest that," I said. I had a plan formulated in my head and I knew that there would be a lot of objections. I needed to be ready for both Eva and my stalker.

The one person who would most likely object would be Katniss. But I need her approval and support.

An hour later dinner was served with a little more hoo-ha. The women insisted we dressed for dinner. This was signature Effie all over this meal. Hence, I'm not shocked to discover that Effie packed a nice pair of slacks and dress shirt all in dark blue while Katniss wore a deep forest green dress. Her eyes sparkled against the hue. It made my heart stopped when she appeared from the bathroom. Her hair was down, the curly ends sat on her shoulders. She was breathtaking. Her perfume filled my nostrils.

"Any reason why we're dressed a little more formally tonight?" I asked her. She shook her head and pecked my cheek.

"Just thought we dress up this evening since we're going to spend our last night at our spot." We were leaving the day after tomorrow. Johanna was eager to get to District 4 and visit Annie. I agreed and everyone was okay to leave a day ahead of schedule. I missed Annie and baby Finley. I kept my communication and distance to keep her safe. When she found out I was heading towards the Capitol, she insisted that I stopped by. She would never forgive if I ignored her request and I wanted to see baby Finn. I wrapped my arms around her waist pressing her close to me as I nipped her earlobe. She squealed for a second then sighed.

"You look beautiful by the way." I inhaled her scent; she smelled of lavender. "I wish we had more time alone so I can ravish you…"

"Peeta, ravish me," she giggled. "That's corny even from you."

"You helped me feel like me again." I said as I pressed my forehead to hers.

"Well, you can ravish me later." She pulled away as I whined in protest. I tugged her back in my arms and kissed her, forcing my tongue inside her mouth as I grabbed one of her ass cheeks underneath her dress. I grinded my groin to her center making her gasp in my mouth. I loved that I can make her weak in the knees as she buckled in my arms. I released her quick as she tried to pull me back to her. "Hey." She said in protest mimicking me.

"That's for calling me corny," I said with an evil smile as I turned and left her standing in the room. She narrowed her eyes at me. I laughed all the way to the dining room with her at my heels.

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**Johanna POV – **

The collar on my dress was too confining. I swore Effie ordered this dress for me on purpose. The dress was black much to my chagrin. It was prim, proper and boring. The collar was a too high; sleeve too long and length of the skirt below the knees. I looked like I was attending a funeral.

I'm stuffed and full as my stomach protested when I shoved the last spoonful of dessert in my mouth. It was delicious, decadent and probably 2000 calories. I'll probably need to take a run around the lake before we depart the next day. I'm relieved with dessert that Peeta had prepared earlier since dinner preparation with Delly, Katniss and Effie was an experience I'll never forget. Effie insisted to have the meal catered from the restaurant we visited the night before. Delly wanted to cook for everyone since Peeta prepared most of the meals. "It's our turn," she insisted. Katniss shrugged her shoulders stating that cooking and preparing meals made her boyfriend happy and she wasn't going to deny him anything. I didn't care either way.

After two and a half hours of preparation we set the table with four roasted chickens with vegetables, mashed potatoes, loaves of bread delivered from a local bakery, soup, salad and dessert. I chuckled out loud at the memory of Effie fainting as Delly, Katniss and I prepared the chickens. I swore she never saw raw, uncooked chicken with the way she reacted. She was given the job to prepare the dinner table and supply the wine and drinks. She went overboard. She started with a cocktail with the stuffed mushrooms, an aperitif with the salad and soup, and wine for the roasted chicken. By the time the main entry rolled in Peeta, Katniss and Delly were drunk. All in all, we had a great time.

Besides me Haymitch belched, loud. Effie reprimanded him. It was a circus whenever they were together. The taunts and jibs they threw at each other were amusing. It's their form of foreplay if you asked me. Speaking of foreplay, both lovebirds are in peak form this evening. Both Peeta and Bron couldn't keep their eyes and hands away from their perspective girlfriends. I wanted to vomit. God, I need to get laid. Maybe when we get back to 12, I'll have some fun with Alec. I'm not stupid or blind. I've seen his glances at my direction. I'm not sure I'm comfortable to start anything with anyone but I'm lonely and horny. If he's game to have some fun with no strings attached, then hooray for me. I was tired of replacing the batteries for Bob, my Battery Operated Boyfriend.

"Hey, Peet when is your last session with Kara," Bron asked. Katniss scowled at the mere mention of her name.

"Tomorrow, I'll finally get rid of that blasted thing." He shivered. I remembered Katniss' reaction when Kara unexpectedly showed up to remove his tattoo. Peeta refused to go to the medical center and opted to have it removed at the Capitol. Kara volunteered to ask for the equipment on loan and use at the cabin. Katniss was adamant to be present every time Kara laser the ink off Peeta. There was no way that she was about to leave her boyfriend with Kara with Peeta half naked waist down. At the first session he panicked and jumped from the bed when he saw the laser pencil. He had a flashback of his time with Eva, which resulted with him cowering in the corner of his and Katniss' room. It took close to an hour to coax him back with the help of Katniss tethering back to reality. I vowed I'd kill that bitch once she caught.

"You' re not the only one," Delly teased as she noticed Katniss' face. "I'm sure that your girlfriend is more relieved than you are, Peeta." She laughed as Katniss scowled at her. "Now if you'll excuse me I need to visit the ladies room." She stood up and walked out. Bron's eyes followed her as she disappeared into the next room.

"Any news on Eva?" Effie asked out of the blue. _Really?_ The table went still. Katniss reached out and grabbed Peeta's hand. He smiled, a sad and anxious looked crossed his face. Bron looked uneasy.

"Yeah, she was spotted at 8." Haymitch answered. "Paylor sent as few Guardsmen to investigate the tip. Other than that nothing else to report."

"Oh for fuck's sake, kill the mood why don't you," I berated them. "We were having a great time and you picked that for a dinner conversation?"

"Sorry, but there isn't monitor in this place and the our only contact with civilization turns on for 3 hours each day." Effie complained. "I don't how you survive without contact with the outside world." The cabin was 20 miles away from the District 7 town. I chose a place that was isolated and unknown to the public. We needed to get away from everything and everyone after Peeta's session. He needed it…no we needed it. Well, not Effie. She complained and cried for the first two days when she discovered we didn't have a TV monitor. The communication satellite switched on for only 3 hours every morning. Haymitch carried satellite receiver to get in contact with Kara, Aurelius and Paylor. They were the only three people who knew our exact location.

"And a couple of days won't kill you," I snickered.

"Speak for yourself," Effie said under her breath. I guessed she missed watching her daily Capitol soap operas. I teased the guys for complaining about missing their porn. It's been peaceful and a restful few days.

I had planned to live here while I visited Peeta at 12. But I realized that I needed the companionship after my time in the Capitol. I missed Peeta. I even missed Delly. Speaking of which, she returned with a huge smile on her face while hiding her hands behind her. I nodded as she winked back at me. Bron stood up grabbing her left hand. He cleared his throat. Peeta and Katniss were busy ogling at each other. Haymitch and Effie were at it again.

"Can I have you undivided attention please," he started. "I'd like to make announcement." I smiled. "For months now I have been with this incredible, beautiful and…bossy." Delly smacked him in the arm. "Excuse me, strong-willed woman who stole my heart the first moment I saw her." She scoffed in return. "She had me literally chasing after her until I wore her down." Delly rolled her eyes. "Which wasn't easy since I had two fractured legs."

"And a concussion and broken arm," Peeta added.

"She really made you work for it," I chortled.

"Don't remind me," he returned. "But it was all worth since I asked her to marry me and she said yes." Effie screamed in delight that I winced from the volume. Peeta stood up shook Bron's hand. He turned to Delly for a second and looked at her. A smile passed between them and a look in their eyes. I knew that Delly loved Peeta the way he loved Katniss. But Peeta's heart always belonged to the Girl on Fire. I'm relieved that Delly found happiness and love with someone. He reached out as Delly wrapped her arms around his waist. He whispered in her ear. She smiled back as tears formed in her eyes. She mouthed _'love you too.'_

"Do I have permission to kiss your fiancé," Peeta asked Bron. He nodded his head. Peeta kissed Delly's cheek and hugged once more. "I'm really happy for you."

"Thanks Peeta," she said in return as she reached out to Bron.

"So when did ask, where and how was the proposal?" Effie prattled on. "We need champagne."

"Well, it wasn't at all romantic," Bron said. He brushed a hand over his hair.

"Hey, it was," Delly corrected him. "It was perfect and I'll always treasure it."

No, it wasn't romantic over a dinner with flowers, wine and romantic setting, but it was heartfelt and true to Delly and Bron. I remembered it well since I was there for his proposal.

_Flashback – the night Peeta was shot_

_I was startled for a moment when I awoke to the sun seeping through the windows. The air was bit chilly and crisp. My nose and ears felt cold from the exposure. I turned my head and found Peeta and Katniss still asleep, dead to the world in each other's arms. They peaceful and at ease with the exception of a tube running up his arm, you couldn't tell they were in the hospital. The sound of his heart monitor was even but faint. I sighed and closed my eyes for a moment when I heard the door open. Bron walked into the room. I pretended to be asleep as to not startle him as he approached Peeta's bed. He stared at them for a few seconds then turned. He unstrapped his rifle from over his shoulders and sat on a chair next to me. I was about to address him when Delly walked into the room._

"_Hey, did you ever get some sleep?" She asked him as she rubbed his shoulders. He shook his head. "How long has Johanna been here?"_

"_Early this morning. We had an incident," He filled her in on Eva's intrusion and my intervention. "We should leave and not have this conversation around them, we'll wake them up."_

"_Johanna is usually a light sleeper, but when she's around Peeta, she's out like a rock. We're fine." She's right. Most times I'm easily awakened at the slightest sound, but with Peeta, he's my comfort and support. I felt safe with him. He never judged me or turned to anger when I'm bitchy and moody. I guess he's used to Katniss' sullen behavior. Poor guy._

"_Where is she now?" Delly inquired._

"_In lock up. She's being transferred to 11 then a hovercraft will transport her to District 1." The Capitol didn't want a prison compound built in their district. Hence District 1 held one of the biggest penitentiary in Panem._

"_Prison is too good for her." Delly scoffed._

"_I doubt she'll serve jail time. Her family will get her off by claiming insanity."_

"_Figures," Delly sighed. "What are you doing in Peeta's room?"  
_

"_I needed to make sure he's okay since it's my fault he's in here," he relented._

"_You really need to stop with your pity party." Delly reprimanded him. "It happened end of story. You can't help that there's a psycho out there after Peeta."_

"_I shouldn't have been arguing with you. I should have been doing my job." I kept my breath even and soft as to continue my ruse. I was witnessing a private a moment. Albeit they chose to have this discussion in Peeta's room. She walked over to him and sat on his lap. _

"_Listen, you messed up. We both did," she admitted. "I'm as much as fault as you. It's over and done. What are you gong to do about it now? At this moment, Bron, this moment determines what kind of person you are. Do want to wallow in guilt and self pity or learn from your mistake and move on?" _

"_How can I make this up to him?"_

"_With the only way you can, Bron. We will do whatever we can to keep him safe. And…" she paused. "You need to get a hold of this jealousy you have with him."_

"_You love him, he was your first love. And it's Peeta Mellark for fuck's sake. How can anyone compete with that?" He admitted._

"_There is no competition. He loves Katniss. He will always love her no matter what she does. I love him, I'll always love him but I'm not in love with him. I sort love this big doofus who can't see it sometimes," She whispered._

_He smiled as her assurance. "Well, he loves you too. And I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you somehow."_

"_You can and you will." They remained quiet for a few seconds. _

"_I love you," Bron declared._

"_I love you too. I love you enough to kick your ass each time you go crazy jealous over Peeta. It's kinda hot, you know." They both giggled._

"_Delly."_

"_Hmm," she responded. _

"_I love you, Delly Cartwright."_

"_I love you too, you big doofus." She returned in a teasing manner as she kissed him on the cheek._

"_Do you love me enough to bind your life to mine?" Holy shit did he just…_

"_What are saying?" Delly gasped._

"_I know that's this is probably the worse time to ask… but if there is one thing I learned these past two years is that life is short to have regrets. What happened to Peeta made me realize that there are no guarantees in life. I love you. I may envy Peeta but I wouldn't want his life."_

"_He, Johanna, Katniss and Haymitch suffered so much. I don't envy them either."_

"_What you and I have may not be some big, romantic, love affair like the Star-Crossed Lover buts what we have is ours. I wouldn't want it any other way." Delly sniffled. "I told Peeta months ago that you were it for me. He pretty much gave me his blessing though he said I didn't need it from him." He paused. "So Miss Delly Cartwright, would you do me the honor of becoming my wife? Will you bind your life to mine and marry me?" Words weren't spoken as Delly gasped and nodded her head for acceptance._

_No, it wasn't romantic but it was sweet and it was real._

_End of flashback – _

"He made it up to me by proposing again when we got here," Delly returned. She displayed a medium size sapphire fastened on a platinum ring on her left hand. It was modest but impressive. Bron had great taste to my surprise. It was gorgeous.

"That was weeks ago," Peeta stated. "Why didn't you guys say anything?"

"There was too much going on. It didn't feel right announcing it," Bron explained. "It didn't seem right to be flaunting that our engagement after what happened."

"We would have been happy for you," Katniss interjected.

"You should have announced it," Peeta interjected. "It would have been the best time. We need moments like to this to appreciate what we have and who we have in our lives."

"We wanted to keep it to ourselves for a while," Delly added.

"Yeah right. She was jumping out of her skin, wanting to tell the girls," he scoffed.

"Hey, it's not everyday I'm getting married, you know," she defended herself.

"This calls for champagne," Effie stated. "Peeta's right, this should be celebrated. Too bad we don't have any bubbly to commemorate this occasion."

"You really think I'd stock this house without any champagne, please," I scoffed. "Give me a few minutes. Peeta can you help me for a moment, that's if you can tear yourself away from Katniss." He smiled, kissed her on the cheek and followed me to the lower floor of the cabin. The small room was cold and arid. On one wall was a stack of wine and bottles of champagne. I handed two bottles to Peeta and one for myself. Effie brought 7 tall flutes to the living room.

"If I may make the first toast," Haymitch asked as he lifted his glass. "You two kids do me proud. This is why we fought for freedom. It lightens my heart to know that a boy from the Capitol can cross the barrier and fall in love with a girl from District 12. Love has no boundaries. This union was worth what we fought for and the sacrifices that were made that brought us here. To Bron and Delly, I wish you the best for your future and for your children's future."

"To Bron and Delly," we repeated. Haymitch was right; something good did come out of the war. I was too bitter and angry to appreciate everyone and everything around me. I was prepared to wallow in rage and bitterness. My instinct for survival fueled me; I existed long enough to fight Snow and the abuse I endured as a Victor. I couldn't acknowledge any good in my life, especially love and happiness. It was easy to live in anger. Love didn't exist in my world. I never believed in the love affair of the Star-Crossed Lovers. Katniss' behavior towards Peeta validated my suspicion. But after watching Peeta declare his devotion and love for Katniss over and over while they tortured and hijacked him, his love for her was real and true. And it was rare. Love did exist in a dark, sick and empty world. We were fortunate enough to have it in our lives and for the people around us.

Hours later I stepped into the back patio to clear my head. There wasn't a single cloud in the sky as moon hug high above me. It was a good night as everyone turned in after an hour of celebrating Bron and Delly's engagement announcement. The familiar sounds of giggles and moans permeated the air. Effie's indignation and offended sensibilities were amusing as Haymitch chortled, "Quite whining. If I have to bear so can you. Put on some damn earplugs if you have to." Delly and Bron were so intoxicated that I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't' remember they were not alone and back in 12.

"They're in love," Peeta yelled in amusement from his room.

"And drunk," Katniss added after him with a giggle.

"It's improper and rude," Effie reprimanded.

Well, you need to get laid, Trinket," Haymitch smirked. "You're just jealous."

"Speak for yourself, Abernathy," I laughed. Bron's scream of release followed in response. '_I really need to get laid,' _my mind rejoined.

I turned around to find one of the Guardsmen, Eli behind me with his hand and rifle up in air in a gesture of surrender.

"Sorry to alarm you Ms. Mason," he spoke.

"Johanna," I corrected him. He nodded his head.

"Thought you should know that Peeta is down in the dock. Don't worry Jace's with him." he added.

Worried, I ran down to the dock to find him sitting by the edge of the dock, his knees to his chest as he wrapped his arms around them.

"Peeta, you okay?" I approached him. Jace stood a few yards away, a look of worry and concern on his face as I gestured him to leave us alone. He backed away without question. I turned back to Peeta. "Hey, what you doing out here so late?" It's around one in the morning.

"You knew didn't you? You weren't surprised when they made the announcement." I knew to whom he was referring to.

"Yeah, I was there actually." He raised his brows in surprise. "Long story short, it was at the hospital in your room while you, Katniss and I were asleep."

"Very romantic," Peeta smirked.

"Shut up, it was…perfect for them." I snorted.

"As long as he makes Delly happy, then I'm happy for the both of them. At least someone gets a happy ending." He sighed as he laid his head on his knees. His hair was tousled and he looked sad.

"No such thing as a happily every after, Peeta. You amongst everyone should know that. Marriage is a lot of work and compromises. Their journey has just begun."

"They're very lucky to have found each other. After the devastation and loss, they found love. They deserve to be happy," Peeta added.

"We all do, Peeta. All of us." He turned to me with a sad smile. "You didn't answer my question, what are you doing here when you should be snug in bed with your hot girlfriend and giving her lots of orgasms." He chuckled then turned serious.

"Had a bad dream I didn't want to wake Katniss," he said releasing his legs; he stretched his limbs before him. He wore his pajama bottom and a t-shirt that was still too big for his frame. The fake leg was noticeable.

"Wanna talk about it?" I said as I sat next to him. I gave him some space, a bit of distance but letting him know that I was there for him. He shrugged his shoulders. "You might feel better."

"Eva…I can't get her out of my head." He stared upwards. I noticed fresh red spots on his neck. "I see her sometimes when Katniss and I are…I don't want her there but… How am I to ever get over this, Johanna? She ruined me…I don't know if I'll ever be able to make Katniss happy if Eva keeps appearing in our intimate moments."

"Katniss' not pressuring you, is she?" I asked.

"No, I'm the one that initiates it. I can't help it." He blushed at his admission. "I've wanted her most of my life and I can't even…"

"You need time, Peeta. Don't rush or pressure yourself. Katniss will understand."

"I want to make her happy. It's all I ever wanted."

"You do." Katniss' voice startled us. She appeared behind Peeta, disheveled and a panicked look etched on her face. "You fucking make me so happy." Like a true hunter we didn't notice her approaching us.

"Shit, Katniss. You scared the fuck out of me," I stated. She was unapologetic as she sat behind Peeta wrapped her arms around him. She pulled him to her chest.

"You scared me. I woke up and you were gone." She spoke into his ear. "Don't ever do that in the middle of night. I was afraid something happened to you." She squeezed him from behind tightening her arms around his waist while her legs straddle him. He was still so thin that she grasped her hands to her elbows together around his stomach.

"I had a nightmare and I didn't want to wake you," he apologized.

"Lean back I got you," she whispered to him. "Close you eyes. I'm not going anywhere." He leaned back and rested his head on her shoulders closing his eyes. "We do this together, nightmares and all. You comfort me when I'm having a bad night. Let me do the same for you." He nodded as she kissed the base of his neck. "Are you comfy?"

"Yes, thank you," he responded.

"Your welcome. Now just relax. Johanna and I will be here," she mentioned. He clasped his hand on top of hers. "Thanks for keeping him company, Johanna."

"I found him here. I couldn't sleep either." I informed them. They looked sweet together; like two interlocking pieces that were missing finally joined and complete. She hummed into his ear, lulling him to sleep. Within seconds he's asleep in her arms, relaxed. It's rare to see his face, calm; his brow not knitted in a frown. He looked a little boy not a young man who had been tortured, abused and abandoned by those he loved the most.

We stayed there for a few minutes, appreciating the quiet and peaceful night. Two Guardsmen patrolled the lake surrounding us. "You need help getting him back to the house," I asked. They looked comfortable but they couldn't stay out here long. "I could get one of the guys…"

"Just let him sleep for a while. You can go if you like. You don't have to stay," she said as she pressed her lips to his temple. "He hardly let's me do this for him." I raised my brows. "When I get a nightmare, he holds until I fall back to sleep. He never wakes me often when he has a nightmare."

He whimpered in his sleep. "Katniss."

"Shh, I'm here. I'm here. You're okay Peeta." Her voice was so soft and calm. "I'm right here." He relaxed in an instant. "Since the session, his nightmares are frequent. I don't know how to help him."

"You're doing fine. Thank you, Katniss," I started.

"For what?" she said, her concentration never left Peeta as he continued to sleep in her arms.

"For taking care of him. I wanted to beat the crap out of you for running, but I understood why you ran,"

"You did?"

"Yeah, I want to find that bitch and cut her to pieces," I told her. "So I do understand why you did it."

"I love him so much, Johanna," she said with such longing. "I was so angry. All I saw was Eva hurting him. Assaulting him…playing with him like he was a toy. I felt nothing but rage…I didn't react like I should have and I'm never going to forgive myself for hurting him that way."

"He knew, Katniss. It just with your track record with him…he has a difficult time reconciling the fact that what you feel for him is real," I explained. "The hijacking made it really difficult for him to separate reality and what he was led to believe."

"We're you there when they…" She couldn't complete her sentence but I knew what she was asking.

"No, they separated us when Snow started pumping the venom in him. When he came back to his cell, I admit I was scared of him. He changed so much not just physically. He didn't remember who I was either."

"I'm so angry, Johanna. I want to put every person who ever hurt in a lineup and shoot them in the head. The first would be his mother. Then Eva Perry. I can't think straight every time I imagine what she did to him. Taking away his will and…innocence. I want her dead." Her teeth gnashed together as she kept her voice low to not wake him.

"Take a number," I scoffed. I recollected the time when she 'tested' him. I had thought that he had escaped that fate.

"I promised Peeta that I wouldn't go after her," she whispered as she pressed her cheek to his head. "He understood why I ran when I should have comforted him first. I didn't mean to hurt him."

"It's a good thing then that he forgave you."

"He said there was nothing to forgive," she said. "With all the brutality and abuse he endured he still has the kindest heart I've known. Snow didn't break him, not completely."

"Then let's make sure that Eva pays for what she did to him." He slept soundly in her arms; safe and protected by her mere presence. They were each other's haven.

"I can't, I promised him that I wouldn't go after her," said with anger and frustration.

"Well, I didn't make that promise to him," I smirked. I hated Eva Perry. I didn't care where she was because I knew in time I'm going to hunt that bitch down. I looked at Katniss as she held onto Peeta. She was fire as he is water to her turbulent flames that blazed within her. They deserved to be happy and she was a threat to their happiness.

Katniss loved and hated with equal passion. Keeping her promise to Peeta meant a lot to her. She couldn't afford to break her trust to him. I sympathized her conundrum. However, knowing her impulsive nature and her love for Peeta, she would break that promise intentional or not. She is Katniss Everdeen, the Girl on Fire. Her impulse to protect the people she loved the most at all cost was something I'm counting on.

Two days later, we're standing at the platform at District 4 waiting for our luggage and bags to be loaded in the hover car Haymitch rented. The trip was tumultuous as Peeta, Katniss and I reacted with the same anxiety and fear. With each mile that got us closer to the Capitol, our nightmares surfaced in frequency and in intensity. It took support from Delly, Bron, Haymitch and Effie to soothe us. Both Peeta and Katniss held on to each other for comfort; they clung to each other and never left each other's presence. As for me my anger grew.

A large crowd of people clamored around us, it was not common or frequent to have four Victors traveling together. The fact that we were visiting Annie, another Victor fascinated them. We were a sight as the media and camera crew were held at bay with our six Guardsmen surrounding us. Ahead of us, Bron looked impressive all in black complete with visor clutching on to his rifle. My black leather attire was quite imposing as my knife was sheathed on my left thigh. There were loud screams directed at us. "Peeta, Katniss, Johanna, Haymitch." They chanted our names as if they were worshipping us. It was sickening. Katniss held onto Peeta's waist in a tight grip. Effie looped her arm around Haymitch as Delly held onto Peeta's free hand.

We didn't want Annie to meet us at the train station. Her fragile mind couldn't handle the crowd and attention. We drove down the coastline for an hour since residence was situated at the beach. We were staying at a hotel 20 minutes away as to not crowd her and baby Finley. When we arrived at her home, she had Fin on her arms as she stood at her porch. I ran out of the hover car to greet her. It's been months since Peeta and I visited. She looked worn but happy. I missed Finnick the instant I saw her. They too were 2 interlocked pieces that were briefly connected but put asunder by death. I felt her loss when Finnick was taken from us. Annie cried as Peeta and I held her in our arms. Delly, Haymitch, Effie and Katniss were a few feet away providing us a bit of time together.

"Please come in," she greeted us as she swiped her eyes. "I'm so happy that all of you were able to come." Her home was cozy and small. Just for her and Fin. She led us to the living room as she busied herself playing hostess to all of us. Delly immediately took baby Fin from her hands. I think much to Annie's relief. A few minutes later, the doorbell rang.

"Johanna, can you please get the door for me?" Annie asked as she was occupied in the kitchen preparing coffee and tea for everyone. I opened the door. My anxiety grew as I stared at the visitor.

Katniss immediately stood up; her eyes had a look of disbelief and rage. "What the hell are you doing here?" she seethed in anger. I had hoped that at District 4 we were free from any drama that would befall us. I was wrong. At the front door stood Mrs. Everdeen with a dozen roses in her arms.

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_**AN: Thank you for reading this chapter. Have a great weekend.**_


	31. Chapter 31 - When the Stars 1

Chapter 31 –When the Stars are in Alignment 1

_AN: Thank you for the reviews and comments. My thanks for those who have alerted, favored and followed my fic. For those who stuck with me in this journey, my heartfelt thanks for sticking around and reading 'The Weary Heart.' I know you're out there. LOL Hungry Games belongs to Suzanne Collins. All rights belong to her. And now for the next chapter…._

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**Katniss POV – **

'_This cannot be happening.'_ I blinked several times assuring myself that my mother appeared at Annie's doorstep.

"Oh, fuck." I heard Johanna's exclamation. I leaped from my chair, letting go of Peeta's hand. I felt bereft as soon as his touch left mine. Anger, despair, sadness, and disbelief cluttered my mind.

"What the hell are you doing here?" was the first thing I said. I haven't seen or heard from her in months. She disappeared from my life once the rebellion was over. She didn't even have the decency to see me or talk to me when I was transported back to 12. I lost my sister Prim through death and my mother by abandonment. She was absent once again but this time with distance between us. The gulf between us was wider than before.

"Katniss…" she spoke, her face drawn and sad. She looked the same but older, worn but healthy as her cheeks were filled in. Her blond hair and blue eyes haunted me, reminding me who I loved and lost. Though I never wanted to wish any ill will against my own mother, I raged at the unfairness of being left behind with the one relative that had abandoned me once again. All the love I had was burned to ashes the day Prim was taken from me. Or so I thought. Peeta had bought me back to life, slow and in small steps towards a love I could no longer deny. She pierced my happy bubble.

"And why the hell are you bringing those things to this house?" I pointed to the twelve, white roses in her arms. I turned to see Johanna besides me her face and eyes simmered with anger and curiosity. Her eyes glued to the roses.

"I was told that you were visiting District 4 and I thought…"

"Thought what? That you can traipse in here without so much of a warning to do what? Have a happy family reunion?" I seethed in anger as I gritted my teeth. My chest was burning with anger as my head was ready to explode.

"I'm sorry for dropping in unexpectedly…" I laughed in disbelief. My gut felt heavy as a ball of anxiety grew with great intensity. I was so attuned to her that I didn't hear the voices behind me. All I remembered was Prim's face as she cried in her sleep from hungry and cold. I remembered days of pleading and crying for my mother to acknowledge us as I watched her descend into depression and despair. We became shadows in her life. Unwanted reminders of the one she loved most.

"Katniss!" Haymitch spoke loud and clear, but I ignored him.

"Haymitch, stop yelling. You're upsetting Peeta," Effie voiced.

"I'm upsetting him?" he returned in an incredulous manner.

"You need to leave." I narrowed my eyes towards the woman I called my mother. Memories of starvation and neglected flashed in my mind. Bringing home food I caught for the first time. Feeding and taking care of Prim as best I could at my young age. "How did you get past the security detail?"

"Katniss," Haymitch interjected again.

"Mrs. Everdeen, it's best that you leave," Effie said with politeness and calm. She stood in front of her. "Please call next time if you want to speak to Katniss. Your unexpected visit is not appreciated and unwelcome."

"I'm her mother. I have every right to see my own daughter," Mrs. Everdeen spoke as she addressed Effie sizing her up.

"A daughter you abandoned once again," Effie reminded her. "I'll only ask you one more time, please leave at your own accord or I'll personally _escort_ you out."

"And take those away from here." I gestured to the roses. The scent filled the air. Tears formed in my eyes. Pain and anger radiated from my chest.

"Katniss, for fuck's sake…" Haymitch's voice boomed.

"What?" I roared with impatience and turned to him but my eyes veered to Peeta. He had his eyes closed and his fists clenched. He was shaking. "Peeta?" My heart sank as my anger dissipated. "Peeta?"

"Get out," Johanna recommended with as much politeness and calm she could muster. She stood next to Effie like a barrier between my mother and me. "And don't come near Katniss until she's ready to see you." My awareness was focused on Peeta. I approached him and reached out to grab his hand. He flinched. I hid the hurt I felt from his reaction. I couldn't take it personally; this was about him not me. My mom left but spoke one last time.

"Katniss, I live here in District 4. I know that I don't have the right, but I want to talk to you before you leave." She turned and walked away.

"Peeta," I reached for him once more.

"I'm sorry, Katniss," Peeta said as I took him in my arms.

"Shh, no need to be sorry."

"I panicked when I saw the roses. I didn't even realize it was your mother at the door. I thought she was…" he stopped and sat down. I followed taking his hand into mine.

"Let's not talk about her. She's gone and…" I'm lost for words. I never expected to see my mother ever. She disappeared from my life. Why now? Why has she reappeared and holding roses in her hands. Her attempt for a reunion was cruel and thoughtless. _'What was she thinking to accomplish?' _

"I'm sorry Katniss," Annie spoke. "I knew she wanted to see you but I never thought she was going to come today of all days and unexpectedly."

"How long has she been here…living in 4," I asked as curiosity got the best of me.

"She arrived a few weeks after me, I guess." Annie said. "I went to the med center for Fin's appointment and found her working there. And to be honest, Katniss. If it wasn't for your mom, I wouldn't have been able to handle and take of Fin without her."

I scoffed at her explanation. "I'm glad she was of some help to you," I said. She helped Annie and was able to help everyone except her own daughters. I wanted to scream and cry at the irony of it.

"She misses you…"

"I think it's time that Peeta and I went to the hotel," I announced. "I'm sorry to cut this visit short but I need to take care of Peeta first." He continued to tremble and blink his eyes as he was trying to focus on the present. My anger and bitterness of my mother's appearance would have to wait.

"Please don't go just yet," Annie said.

"I'm okay, Katniss," Peeta interjected. "I didn't mean to ruin our visit here by acting like an idiot just because I saw a bunch of roses. She didn't mean any harm."

"I don't care. Her timing was unacceptable and unforgivable." If she meant to hurt me by hurting Peeta I would never forgive her. After the games, she went on with her life in the village like as if our lives didn't change. Our circumstances changed for the better, but it didn't heal or mend the trust she broke when she disappeared in Prim's and my life. She emotionally abandoned us and I became the head of family at 11. She liked Peeta but said that I was better suited with Gale since we hunted together to feed our families.

She never encouraged or discouraged me for choosing Gale or Peeta. I navigated through my own emotional growth on my own without any help from her. She had inadvertently taught me that loving someone made you weak and selfish. Watching her mourn for my father and neglecting Prim and I resulted in my inability to form any healthy emotional growth. If loving my dad resulted in mom's abandonment, I concluded that love was something I never wanted or desired in my life. Peeta was the catalyst of my fears by falling in love for him. I didn't want to love him. I thought I didn't have any room for anyone but Prim in my life. She was enough. Little did I realize that I was already falling for Peeta. But I didn't know what those feelings meant until it was too late. I lost him in the second arena. I loved him and he was taken away from me. The pain of losing him was more than I could endure. Unknowingly, I became my mother.

"Hey, I'm okay," he added. "See I'm fine." He kissed my hand and smiled. "Besides, we came here to enjoy ourselves. Your mother…"

"I don't want to talk about her," I interrupted him. He knew better than to push me. For a few minutes, our visit was tinged with awkwardness and tension. After a few pleasantries, Delly announced to Annie that she and Bron were engaged. The topic brought some sense of lightness back into our conversation.

"Oh, Delly, congratulations," Annie gushed as she picked up Delly's hand to examine her ring. "It's beautiful." She had tears in her eyes. "Have you two picked a date?" I noticed that Annie still wore her wedding ring on her finger.

"Not yet." Bron smiled at Delly." We figured that we would like to be engaged for a while until…everything is settled." I watched as Peeta's face looked sad. I wondered if he felt guilty for delaying their plans. That he was the reason for not picking a date.

We stayed for a couple of hours. Johanna, Peeta and Annie stood up after lunch to take a walk at the beach, leaving baby Fin with Delly and me. Haymitch and Effie went ahead to the hotel. I was in awe with Fin since he took after his father with his ginger hair and green eyes. He had Annie's nose and lips. My heart clenched for a few seconds as I stared at his calm face as he slept in Delly's arms. I missed Finnick. I knew that I was lucky to still have Peeta. How does one go on without the one person you loved? I looked outside the window to see Peeta holding Annie in his arms. He reached out to grab Johanna's hand. It hurt my heart knowing how much the three suffered and endured at the Capitol.

"They're pretty amazing, you know," Dell interrupted my thoughts. "It's a testament to how strong they are to have survived their experience. Annie's mind was so fragile after she came back to 4 that I was afraid to leave her." Delly held onto Fin as she swayed back and forth. "I think if it wasn't for this little guy, Annie would have given up." I nodded my head in agreement. I couldn't fathom how my life would be right now without Peeta.

"It's not fair," I said. Delly raised her brows. "She should have them both, not one without the other. How did she go on without Finnick?"

"Annie knew that Finnick would not forgive her if she failed Fin. She had to get better. She's been amazing and brave for raising him by herself." Motherhood. It was a topic I never thought that would cross my mind. I didn't want it or think about it since I didn't have a good example to begin with.

"Did you know that my mother was here in 4?" I asked.

"I saw her at the med center but didn't think she was in constant contact with Annie," she admitted. "I'm glad she did though. Annie needed support and your mom was there for her."

My bitterness and resentment grew. She was there for Annie but not for me or Prim. "I have to confess that I didn't think that Peeta was going to make it." I gasped in surprise. "Dr. Aurelius knew that Peeta needed something familiar, something for him to latch him back to reality. He needed to go home. To you, Katniss." Tears brimmed my eyes. "He came back to make sure you were okay, then…he was prepared to leave you alone. To live his life without you. Just like Annie knew she had to live for Fin and having your mother's help and support was a godsend."

My eyes turned to the window. Peeta was swinging Johanna in his arms, spinning her around against her protest. Annie laughed at them. I smiled. Once Peeta put her down, he took off with Johanna at his heels. He stumbled against the sand with his feet, his prosthetic leg hindering his balance. He laughed at her as she cursed him. It was a sight I'll never forget seeing the three of them alive, care free and happy. The past few days have been the best and worse days of my life. I experienced the best days because I have Peeta and the worse because we were returning to the Capitol. Johanna, Peeta and I reacted as expected with nightmares, flashbacks and panic attacks. Each mile brought us closer to own version of hell. The nights were peppered with good and bad moments.

Peeta was very generous with his affections as he pleasured me to new heights. I blushed when I remembered the first time he _'tasted me'_ with his tongue. I bit my lip to stifle the scream that tore from my throat. It was an experience I hope to return in kind. But with pleasure came pain as I woke from my nightmares of losing Peeta in the Capitol. I dreamt of Prim burning to ash as I failed to save her. I awoke each time with his strong arms around me, covering me with kisses and words of comfort. I'm afraid to lose him to his own mind of despair and memories. The thought of Eva was furthest from my mind. In his arms was where I felt the safest. _'Always,'_ he once promised me.

"Do you believe in fate, Delly?" I inquired a few minutes later.

"What do you mean? Like Star-Crossed Lovers who are fated to be with each other sort of thing?" I smiled at her reference and nodded my head. "Do you remember who you're talking to? Of course, I do."

"Growing up after my father died, I didn't have time for such romantic notions. I was too busy trying to survive. Trying to find food for the table and keeping Prim safe." I shifted my feet. "Before I met Peeta, I didn't believe in true love or love for that matter. I was afraid of it."

"I was the opposite. I couldn't wait to fall in love," Delly sighed. "I already had names for the my first boy and girl." She chuckled to herself. The notion of children was the farthest thoughts in my mind.

"You know what I realized, Delly?" I said. "That no mattered what happened, no matter how much I denied or avoided it, love found me. Peeta and I would have always found a way back to each other. We were meant to be."

Johanna's screams jostled my thoughts. She continued to chase Peeta down the beach and back.

"They look happy," Delly said as she stood next to me. "We all deserve to be happy." I nodded my head in agreement. Her ring finger caught my attention. It was the color of Peeta's eyes. I was mesmerized, as the thought of such a trinket should adorn my own hand. I love Peeta but do I love him enough to marry him? The thought of having children still scared me. He would be the only man that I would want to be the father of my child.

"You look mad, Katniss," she said. "Are you still upset because of your mother?"

"No, I'm mostly sad that Annie, Johanna and Peeta endured so much pain and suffering." I sighed. "She is the furthest thing in my mind." It was true. My mother didn't register at the moment as my thoughts are filled of Peeta, Annie and Johanna. Three Victor's who had survived their capture and lived to have a life in free Panem.

"Katniss, save me," Peeta's voice filled the air. He was laughing and running towards the house with Johanna and Annie right behind him. I ran to meet them as Peeta took cover behind me as a shield from Johanna.

"What's going on?" I asked. Annie smirked as she stood behind Johanna. There was a playful gleam in their eyes.

"Get away from Katniss and take your punishment like a man," she said to him in a menacing and teasing manner.

"Nuh huh, I'm tired and Katniss will protect me. Besides my girlfriend can beat you up any time if you get near me," he muttered with complete confidence. I smiled at his faith in me to protect him.

"That's debatable," Johanna scoffed. "Don't take it personally, Katniss."

"None taken," I said, trying to keep from laughing.

"You can't hide behind Katniss forever," she teased. "If you know what's good for you, you'll leave well enough alone."

"Come on, Johanna," Peeta said behind me. "Alec isn't so bad. I think it's sweet that he has a big crush on you. Think of it, you'll Johanna Baylor. Has a nice ring to it. We'll have little Masons running around terrorizing the populace. He's a perfect match for you." He snapped his fingers. "I know. When we get back to 12, we can triple date with Bron and Delly."

"Fuck you Mellark," she yelped as she took a step forward. I shielded Peeta from her advance. "I can find my own date thank you."

"What are you two going on about?" I said feigning innocence as I grabbed Peeta's hand. His face was flush and pink from the sun as his eyes twinkled with glee. I recalled Alec's sideway glances at Johanna. I didn't realize that Peeta noticed them too.

"I told her that she should hook up with Alex since he's all googly eye over her." Peeta teased. "He doesn't know what he's in for, Mason. You'll make him work for it. He so enamored with you like some puppy."

"Well, you should know since you've been googly eyed with Katniss since you were five," she returned.

"Damn right, why wouldn't I be? My girlfriend is hot and sexy." He grabbed me by the waist from behind. "She was worth waiting for." My knees melted.

"I'm not ready for that kind of…" she said. "I'm still a mess Peeta. What if I hurt him or something? I don't trust myself…"

"There's nothing wrong with you Johanna. Take your own advice. If he can make you happy, you should go for it." Peeta grabbed my hand. "Look at me, I'm all messed up and I still got the girl."

"Well, you're both crazy," she said.

"Hey!" I interjected.

"It would be awesome, I mean if you marry Alec he'd become like my brother. Like when Bron marries Delly. We'd be family," he baited her. "And you can name the your first-born son after me, Peeta Mason-Baylor or Peeta Baylor since I was the one that hooked you up in the first place. And I'll be Uncle Peeta." I laughed at his antics. My Boy with the Bread was finally coming home.

"Just you wait, Peeta. When you least expect it, I'm gonna get you."

"He was just teasing you Johanna?" Annie interjected. "Sounds like Alec is a keeper. What's wrong with Peeta helping you?"

"I don't need his help. He threatened to set me up with Alec when we get back," Johanna yelled in protest. "I don't need a matchmaker. He's already married me off and naming my first born son. If you make any attempt to set me up with Alec or anymore for that matter, I'll…cut your hair in your sleep."

"Hey, leave his hair alone," I said. I love his blond locks. It's soft and lush. I remembered his head between my legs as I grabbed fistful of his hair trying to find purchase. He was quite skillful as he chased his tongue and fingers on my center. I screamed so loud the first time that I almost lost consciousness. I clenched my legs together at the memory. _'Oh damnit why is my mind going there? You know why?_ I told myself.

"Oh, I'm so scared." Peeta said in mock fear. "So if you'll excuse me Katniss and I are going to take a walk before we head back to the hotel." He pulled my hand and walked away from Johanna and Annie who snickered after us.

We tread down a path where it led to the beach. Four guardsmen shadowed us. My thoughts lingered to the memories of this morning. He woke me with light kisses on my face and neck. Peeta woke me in the early morning light with his new hobby. His hands cupped my breasts as it travelled down my navel to the edge of my panties. My usual attire was a tank top and panties while I insisted that he wore boxer shorts to bed. Peeta was still uncomfortable with his prosthetic leg so he wore pajama bottoms to my dismay. He was quite skillful undressing me. His hand was about to slip inside when Effie's voice penetrated through the door interrupting us. We sighed and knew that was futile to continue. Our blissful _'moment'_ would have to wait.

The walk was short. We stood on the sand gazing at the horizon before us. It was just as breathtaking as the forests in District 7 and 12.

"When we first came here, Johanna and I had flashbacks of the Quarter Quell," Peeta stated. "It hurt being here. It hurt because it reminded us of all the people who died there but…with the help from Annie and Delly we found peace. This is Finnick's home. He would have loved raising Fin here. His son would never starve or fear being reaped. Finnick never had to ever _'perform'_ for the Capitolites again. We were free. We swore that we would never take it for granted that he died for this. For his son."

I bit my lip from crying. I considered myself a strong and independent person before I knew Peeta. But he had a way of making me see the world with different eyes and a better heart. I'm still quick to anger and bitterness but having known Peeta he introduced new emotions, rage, fury, jealousy and love. I still feel the same, but we all weren't. There's just more to us now. I still have bad habits like running when things get difficult or acting out without thinking of the consequences of my actions. We're different but the same. Before I was reaped, I felt nothing but fear, anger, resentment and distrust with anyone outside my family and circle of friends.

"I'm sorry that your mother upset you," he said as he grabbed my hands. "She was the last person you needed to see. I know how much she hurt you and Prim growing up." He wrapped his arms around my waist as I placed my head on his shoulder. "I'm here for you, Katniss. Don't be afraid to tell me how you feel and…" I kissed him. He didn't berate me for being angry with my mother. He didn't lecture me or tried to convince me to forgive her. He just held me in his arms, comforting me.

"I'm really glad to be here," I admitted. "Regardless of my mother's appearance."

"That's not completely true," he said as pressed his forehead to mine. "Since we left 12 your nightmares have been getting worse. I'm grateful for the fact that you wanted to be with me but not at your expense." I didn't like where he was leading to but he pressed forward. "The treatments can wait, Katniss. We can go back."

"No, if the new treatments will help you, I don't want to stop you from trying."

"It's not a cure all," he said. "The venom will always be in my system. The treatment is new and never tested. There is no guarantee that it will have an adverse effect. I…might get worse or…better. Kara said that it might work. The odds are…"

"Are you having second thoughts?" I asked.

"No," he stated. "I'm just afraid of what will happen to you when we reach the Capitol. I'm more worried about you."

"Peeta, I'm going with you," I confirmed. "I'm all right…"

"Maybe you should stay here with Annie…and wait for me until the treatments is…" he continued.

"No," I yelled. "You are not leaving me behind."

"Katniss, you're shaking, having nightmares every night. Just to be with me."

"Don't you dare…fucking leave me here," I screamed at him. I was separated from him once and I almost lost him. I did lose him.

"I'll never forgive myself if you…relapsed and start to…" He blinked his eyes a few times as tears formed. "I shouldn't have insisted of you coming with me…"

"I wanted to come and be with you. Why are you asking this now?" My anger surfaced, revealing my anxiety and fear as well.

"I was being selfish. You should have stayed at 12."

"I would have gone insane with worry that something horrible was going to happen or worse. That I wouldn't be there if any happened," I said. "Please don't leave me or make me go back," I cried as anger and frustration bubbled in my chest. My arms tightened around him. He shook in my arms. "We do this together, Peeta." His knees buckled as we fell on the sand on our knees. I hissed as the hot surface burned my skin. The dress I wore was short barely covering my knees. He sat down and placed me on his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck leaning my head on his temple. "I need to be with you."

"I know I'm being selfish asking you to come, but I can't do this without you anymore," he revealed.

"You're not selfish. I wanted to come with you. So no more talking or suggesting that I stay behind," I said into his ear. He nodded his head. We stayed sitting on the sand for a few minutes. He turned and kissed me soft and sweet, kisses meant to be comforting. Our peace was shattered as one of the guardsmen approached us. Eli was calm and firm.

"Peeta, you and Katniss have to leave now," he instructed.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"We have a breach. One of the photographers was intercepted around the perimeter," he continued. "We caught him taking photos of the two of you twenty yards from here."

I sighed in relief. At least it was one of those parasites and not Peeta's stalker. "I want to see him." Peeta stated. _'What the hell.'_

"Peeta, why would you suggest such a thing?" I asked, trying not to raise my voice.

"Please, I need to see him. I have my reasons," he said. Eli looked at him and me. His thoughts were conflicted. "I know you are assigned to protect me but I need to do this. It's important to me."

"I don't know if it's a good idea," he recommended. "We're supposed to keep them away from you not have a meet and greet."

"Listen, I want to see him." Peeta insisted. Eli nodded then led us back to house. I held onto his hand in a tight grip. The press and media had never been kind to us. Memories of the propos I was forced to make haunted me. I led people to their death with my words.

As we approached the intruder his eyes widen in fear and shock. Jace had his camera in his hands since the photographer's hands were handcuffed behind him.

"Do you know what the penalty is for defying President Paylor's edict?" Peeta asked in a calm and a self-assured manner as he approached the taller and well built man. He stood toe-to-toe with the stranger.

"Jail time for one month on the first infraction, jail time and a large fee for the second," he answered. His eyes were glued to me as he addressed Peeta. "But it's worth to see her." There was a lecherous gleam in his eyes that unnerved me. "You are just as fucking hot in person as you are on screen. You're a lucky boy, Mellark," he leered at me.

"I'm talking to you. Eyes forward and not to Ms. Everdeen," Peeta commanded. His eyes narrowed as his fist clenched on his sides.

"I bet she's an animal in bed…" he winked at Peeta. Peeta reached over and placed a hand on his throat, he squeezed tight making his eyes bulged. I stood my ground trusting him to control himself and not trigger an episode.

"Don't you ever talk to Katniss like that," Peeta threatened.

"Let go you're…" he choked, "I can't breath. Tell him to let go." Jace and Eli stood by Peeta. Their demeanor was nonchalant and unaffected. Peeta pulled him down as their eyes met.

"You will address Katniss with respect anytime you see her or speak to her. Do you hear me?" He squeezed with dramatic effect. He nodded his head. Peeta let him go as he fell to the ground on his knees.

"I'm going to report you to the Head Guardsmen for assault. All of you," he wheezed.

"I don't know what he's talking about. Did you see anything, Eli?" Jace spoke he looked around.

"Nope, I think he's got things confused since he did trespass into Ms. Cresta's private property," Eli returned. "How do you think the people of District 4 will react when they find out that you're in her property and taking unauthorized pictures of her friends?" District 4 citizens loved their Victor, Annie Cresta. They rallied and supported the law to keep cameras and the media away from Annie and Fin. Paylor made the decree in honor of Finnick's sacrifice and for Annie's safety and privacy.

Peeta moved over to Jace and took the camera emptying out the cartridge. "Don't come near us ever again. Take him out of here." He returned the camera to Jace. He reached over and grabbed my hand. Jace and Eli escorted the photographer away from the premises.

Haymitch returned from the hotel and met us at the house. He spoke to Peeta for a few seconds. I was curious but didn't pry. Effie was returning with dinner catered for the evening. "Go on, everything is set up so spent the afternoon with your girl." Haymitch concluded. Peeta extended his hand.

"Come on. There's someplace I want you to see," Peeta said with a twinkle in his eyes. Johanna snickered while Delly giggled.

"Where are you taking me? I asked.

"Someplace not far from here." He pulled my hand as we exited Annie's home.

"Have fun, kids. See you at dinner and don't be late," Johanna yelled after us. The walk wasn't far. As a matter of fact, just down the beach about 100 yards away from Annie's. He led me to a bungalow situated at the end of the coast. It was small and quaint.

"What are we doing here?" I asked as he led us inside the house. The home was furnished with a small kitchen, bath and bedroom. The living room had a wide window overlooking the beach. I turned to see Peeta shifting his feet with a shy smile on his face.

"I got permission from Annie to stay here while we're visiting her," he explained. "Johanna and I bunked here when we first visited months ago." I lifted my brows.

"We can stay here, just the two of us?" I asked. My heart pounded in my chest as the thought of us alone for a week swam in my head. "What about the Guardsmen?"

"They're camping out at the beach in tents for the duration." He rubbed the back of his head. I was speechless. The look of panic crossed Peeta's face. "I'm sorry, I guess I assumed to much. I thought we needed some time alone before we reached the Capitol. I'm sorry…" I crashed into his chest as I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing him hard on the lips. He replied in kind by wrapping his arms around my waist, holding me close as he held me tight. "So does that mean you're okay with us staying here?"

"A world of yes. How can you think that I would object to this?" I asked my breath husky and low. My lips tingled from his kisses. I felt sensations that only Peeta could ignite. I was addicted to them.

"I should have asked, but I wanted to surprise you."

Suddenly a thought crossed my mind. "You wanted me to stay here while you have your treatments at the Capitol? That's why you brought it up."

"If you couldn't handle being there, at least your only four districts away. I couldn't bear and watch you suffer anymore. You're nightmares have gotten worse and it's all because of me."

"Oh, Peeta, don't you realize by now that I go where you go," I assured him. "We stick together no matter what."

"Thank you, Katniss. You don't know how much this means to me." His lips trailed down my neck to the middle of my chest. I gasped as my spine tingled. I wrapped my arms around him as I jumped and encased my legs around his waist. He moved forward but I wasn't aware of where he was going. I closed my eyes as the sensation of his soft lips grazed the top of my breasts. His tongued lapped my skin.

He placed me on the bed as his face hovered over me. "Katniss?" I swiped his hair from his forehead. His hair grew longer since his last haircut. I was glad that he forgot to get it cut before leaving 12. I love running my fingers through his blond locks as much as he loved running his hands through mine.

"Yes, Peeta."

"This is real or not real?" he asked.

"Real, always real." I responded. He leaned down and kissed me, taking my breath away. His tongue tangled with mine, each seeking pleasure and heightening our desire. I gasped as his tongue trailed down my neck to the middle of my chest once more. His hands found his way under my dress removing my panties. My breath hitched in anticipation as he messaged my inner thigh. He spent the rest of the afternoon reacquainting his hands and tongue to every inch of my skin.

* * *

We didn't properly celebrate Bron and Delly's engagement so that evening we feasted with best food, drink and wine that District 4 had to offer. In the midst of the revelry Bron stood up.

"I'd like to make a toast if I may," he announced, his voice was choked with emotion. "I know that Haymitch had already made a toast for our engagement, but there is something I'd like to say. There are no words I can express how happy and…" he sniffed but continued, "proud to have you as my friends. If someone had told me that I would be spending my engagement with four Victors, I would have laughed in their face. Let alone the fact that they would become one of my closest friends and family. I am truly blessed. This toast is to commemorate our lives brought together through pain, war and love. Moments like these is what we strive to live for; that love is strong enough to endure when everything else failed us. Love sparked a revolution and only love can heal a nation. To love." He tipped his glass in salutation as we returned his gesture in kind.

"That was beautiful Bron," Effie squeaked as she wiped her eyes with a dinner napkin.

"I live and learn by example." Bron tipped his head towards Peeta. I turned to my boyfriend who was busy ogling at me. His eyes were dazed from the alcohol as he licked his lower lip. I too knew that I was fortunate and very lucky. He leaned over and kissed me.

"To love," I repeated.

The next couple of days were uneventful. Johanna and Delly stayed with Annie while Bron camped out with the Guardsmen at the beach. Haymitch and Effie took a hovercraft to the Capitol. They had business to attend to in preparation for our arrival.

After stopping over at District 6 and 5, each one tried to outdo the other with our visit. The crowds were massive. School children sang to us in tribute to those who fell in the rebellion. We were grateful and stupefied by the reception. However, white roses were placed everywhere. Peeta and Johanna barely hung on as the sight brought flashbacks of their torture and abuse. It was ideal to stop at District 4 before proceeding to the Capitol. The one place we dreaded to return to. Somehow Peeta knew how it was affected Johanna and I. We needed a break.

Our stay had been enjoyable so far. I especially enjoyed spending time with Annie. Guilt weighed heavy in my heart as I watched her take care of Fin without his father. Peeta took it upon himself to build a new crib that Annie had not been able to assemble. Johanna went into town for groceries and supplies.

"Once I found out I was pregnant, I knew that I was having a boy," she said as she changed him for the umpteenth time. She had a faraway look on her face. "I don't know how, but I knew I was carrying Finnick's son."

"When I first meet Finnick, he openly flirted with me even knowing that I was engaged to Peeta." Annie laughed.

"That's my Finny, the biggest flirt ever," she chuckled.

"He was basically half naked offering me a sugar cube. Getting in my face," I confessed. "He kind of creeped me out."

"First time I met him, I slapped him," Annie cackled. "He was so full of himself. I couldn't stand him. It took time and tolerance for me to realize that there was more to him than meets the eye." She smiled at the memory. "He grew on me like…fungus." We laughed so loud it alerted Peeta from his task. He poked his head outside Annie's bedroom.

"Everything okay in here?" His eyebrows were high on his forehead. A look of worry was on his face.

"Katniss and I were reminiscing over Finnick," Annie explained.

"Oh, okay." He smiled. "I'll be done in a few minutes, then I'll start working on the Cheese Buns you wanted." Fin fussed and whimpered in Annie's arms. He started to cry causing Annie to break into tears.

"He's been all fussy all morning," she sighed, tired from waking at odd hours for his early morning feeding.

"I'll take him for a while if you want," Peeta volunteered. Annie nodded her head as she placed him in his arms.

"Why don't you and I take a little walk outside and give you momma some rest, okay buddy," he spoke his voice soft and wispy to Fin. He walked to porch and swayed him in his arms. Fin calmed and relaxed as he stared at each other.

"Peeta's so good with him." Annie noticed. "He's going to be a great father someday." She sighed. "I couldn't trust any man near Fin. Finnick trusted Peeta with his life. He was really good in reading people. So I know that Peeta is safe with my Fin."

"In the arena, I didn't trust Finnick. I didn't trust anyone," I admitted. I didn't trust anyone except Peeta. "I couldn't trust him because he saw through our engagement. That it was a lie." I cringed.

"But it wasn't, was it Katniss?" she asked. "It wasn't a complete lie?" I smiled at her astute observation. Even Annie saw it; everyone did except me. I was fast to ignore and deny my feelings for Peeta. I wondered where our relationship would be if I had been open to accepting Peeta's affections.

"When I first met him, I didn't trust Peeta either," I admitted. "He was too good to be true. Merchants Boys only had one thing in their minds, as so I was told. I convinced myself he was just like them."

"Yeah, Peeta told me how you reacted to his confession," Annie reminded me. "Finnick and I debated whether it was the dumbest or bravest he made. I guess love made you do the dumbest things sometimes." I chuckled.

"I admit I was too scared to love him. I didn't want to." We can hear Peeta humming to Fin. He would make a great father someday. "I didn't realize that I was falling in love with him. The only thing I knew was that he frustrated and confused me. I only felt safe when I was with him."

"I felt the same with Finnick when I came back from the arena. It was a mutual and gradual process for us." For Peeta and I, it wasn't gradual or mutual. His confession struck me hard and my first reaction was disbelief and bitterness. I fought it every step of the way. He loved me and it was obvious but I was too stubborn to accept it. And in my denial, our journey was hard, damaging and heartbreaking. I broke my own heart without knowing it.

Even now, though we are together, there are things we have not settled. Our journey was far from over and clear from other obstacles.

Johanna arrived knee deep with bags of groceries and supplies for our stay in District 4. We didn't want to overstay our welcome and inconvenience Annie with 12 mouths to feed. Staying at the bungalow had been blissful. We had each meal with everyone except the morning meals. To say I looked forward to our time together was an understatement.

Each morning Peeta indulged in his _hobby_. Though I enjoyed every moment I felt guilty for not being able to return the sentiment. I needed another perspective and advise. I wanted to give him pleasure as he had given me without triggering a flashback. I didn't want _her _in our bed. I approached Johanna since she knew more of my dilemma than anyone.

I found an opportunity when Annie insisted on assisting Peeta as he created his Cheese Buns. Johanna and I sat at the porch. The scent of flour, yeast and cheese permeated the air. The guys kept popping in and out of the perimeter waiting for the Cheese Buns. We snickered as they found an excuse to approach the house. I couldn't wait for Peeta to return to 12 and open up his bakery. It was a future I anticipated having with him. I envision us living together as he worked at the bakery.

"I guess Peeta made some new friends," Johanna stated as she glanced at the four Guardsmen walking around the house.

"You should have seen him at school. He made friends easily," I stated. As for me, friendship was something I didn't need or want.

"I lost all my friends after I came back from the arena," Johanna said. "It was difficult for them to accept how I changed so much." I nodded in understanding. No one except the Victors knew horrors we endured. You didn't come back the same. Especially when you came back after _performing _for the Capitolites. I realized that Peeta's innocent confession saved us from a life worse than death. I shuddered and cringed at the thought of being sold and raped. I knew how lucky I was. I am lucky.

"You looked troubled. Is everything all right between you and Peeta?" she asked. Her brows furrowed in concern. I smiled and turned to look at her. Her attire was different and something I was unaccustomed to seeing on her. She wore dark green shorts with a white tank that was covered with a light yellow shirt. Her knife still hung on her thigh; an accessory she was never without.

"Everything is perfect," I answered. I looked back at the house to ensure that Peeta was not at a hearing distance. I didn't want to upset or embarrass him. I was embarrassed enough on my own.

"So what's up? Why the long face?" she inquired.

"I wanted to ask you something, but don't know how to ask without embarrassing myself," I confessed.

"You can ask me anything," she responded. I twisted my hands together in need of courage. I heard Peeta's laughter through the walls. The tenor of his voice calmed and encouraged me. I was doing this for him and for me.

"I love Peeta," I said.

"We know, Katniss," she said unsure of my declaration. Of course, she knew I love him.

"I want to make him happy."

"You do make him happy, at least we know he makes you happy," she teased me. I blushed.

"He won't…we haven't. Argh, I don't know how to say this," I stuttered, covering my face with both my hands. "He gives me pleasure all the time, but I haven't been able to return the favor." Johanna's brow lifted. "I mean, he won't let me touch him in any way."

"Oh, I see." She didn't look surprised. "Are you at least doing oral?"

"Yes," I blushed deep red, as my face grew warm. "To me but not to him. He won't let me. Any attempt to please him causes him to shake and tremble. I think he has flashbacks of you know who whenever I touch him."

"He's seeing Eva when you touch him." she confirmed.

"Yes, and I don't know how to help him," I sighed.

"Katniss, he needs professional help," she advised. "If you push, you might make it worse."

"I know that. I just want to help him. He's so focused in my pleasure. I love him for that, but I need to…I want to be able to give him pleasure in return."

"Maybe it's all that he can handle." She stared at me, eye to eye with concern and understanding. "Listen, I know someone who can help you, but you must me open to some advise if you want to help him."

"I'd anything to make him happy." I recollected the look of awe and admiration in his face as he watched me come. He peppered kisses on my sweaty skin telling me how beautiful I looked under his touch. He wanted to see it over and over, which he repeated without my objections.

"Kara is a licensed therapist for post traumatic stress. It's why Dr. Aurelius permitted her to be Peeta's main physician just in case he's not available."

"I can't ask Peeta to see anther shrink even if it is Kara. Someone he knows. Peeta doesn't know I'm talking to you. He'll know we've been talking about this, about him," I cried in shock. The thought of talking to Kara made my skin crawl. She had already seen my boyfriend naked. I wasn't about to ask Peeta to talk about our sex life because he was having a problem.

"You're not understanding me," she said. "I'm not asking for Peeta to see her, I'm asking you to see hear, talk to her about your…situation."

"Why should I being talking to her when it's Peeta who's having difficulty…you know getting aroused?" I scoffed.

"Listen, brainless. There are two people in a relationship. If Peeta needs guidance with your sex life, you are also involved," she said. "She might be able to give you some helpful tips to help him, do you understand?"

"Oh, you mean sex tips?" I asked.

Johanna shrugged her shoulders. "She helped me," she admitted. "For the longest time I couldn't arouse myself, let alone think about sex after…" She turned her head, avoiding my eyes. I never asked about her experience. I knew that she too had to _perform _against her will. I didn't want to acknowledge the abuse she experienced with Peeta. It was painful to bear.

"Did she help you?" I asked.

"Not at first, but she was patience and understanding. It helped that she was a woman," she added. "You want to help Peeta. Go and talk to her, but do yourself a favor."

"What's that?" I said.

"Never ever tell Peeta that you talked to her," she advised. "His confidence and ego is already fragile. If he ever finds out that you're talking to her about this, it might set him back. Or make him feel more inadequate than he already feels."

"Of course," I acknowledged. "But what do I tell him if he asks why I'm talking to Kara. I don't want to lie to him" We promised no more lies or secrets from each other. This was no exception.

"Tell him that you're having issues that only another woman can understand. It's not like you're lying because it's the truth."

"He's been hinting that I should talk to Dr. Aurelius. He admitted that talking to him helped," I recalled our conversation. My nightmares were constant and frequent since leaving 12. I dreamt of losing Peeta and watching Prim burn all over again. "So talking to Kara wouldn't be like I'm lying to him."

"Exactly. In the long run, this may help him and you," she encouraged. "Just think of it as a means to an end. All that foreplay must be driving you mad. You haven't even gotten to the good stuff. I mean, it's about time he deflowered you."

"Johanna!" I gasped in embarrassment.

"What! I could have said that he finally popped your cherry."

"Stop."

"Or lose your virginity and do the nasty. Though I have to admit the sounds coming out of the bungalow makes me envious," She teased wiggling her eyebrows. "He must really know how to use his hands and tongue. He is a baker after all."

"Oh god, please stop." I hid my face as I bent over in embarrassment.

"You're going to give details, girlfriend. Once the deed is done. If I recall correctly he's quite impressive." I reached and covered her mouth with my hand.

"Shut up," I cringed. He was impressive and I should know. He was long, thick and beautiful. I couldn't wait to see him in an aroused state.

"Hmm, don't be coy. You're a very lucky girl," she gasped as she turned her head from my hand. "Just make sure you get the right size condom and get plenty of lube because that monster between his legs might tear you apart."

"Damnit, stop already," I flushed some more.

"You two okay?" Peeta appeared with a platter of Cheese Buns in his hands. "I hope I'm not interrupting but I thought you two want a snack." He approached us. I hope that I wasn't too red from blushing so hard. All the sex talk made me miss him.

"Katniss wants a snack all right." I punched her hard on the arm.

"Ouch, what? Am I lying?" she returned teasing and playful. She stood up and picked up a bun in her hand. "He's the best boyfriend ever, huh Katniss?"

"Yes, he is." I agreed. Puzzled but pleased, he kissed my cheek as I reached for his famous Cheese Bun.

"Only the best for my girl," he answered back. He'd do anything to make me happy. I knew what I had to do. I wanted the best for Peeta and if talking to Kara will help him…and me, I would do whatever it takes to make him happy as he has made me.

* * *

_**AN: Thanks for reading this chapter. My apologies since I had to cut this into two chapters since it would have been really, really long. I hope you enjoyed it. Please review at your leisure. Have a great weekend.**_

_**A preview: Katniss seeks professional advice, confronts her mom and makes Peeta happy. Not in that order exactly.**_


	32. Chapter 32 - When the Stars 2

Chapter 32 – When the Stars Are in Alignment 2

_AN: Many thanks to all my reviewers especially to those have left a comment, favored, and alerted my fic. Your response is overwhelming and much appreciated. Just a warning. There is gratuitous amount of smut up ahead both beginning and ending of this chapter. Turn back now if you offended by two young adults having sex. On with the show…_

* * *

**Katniss POV –**

"Oh, fuuuuuck…" I screamed as I tried to find purchase with my hands and feet. One leg rested on top of Peeta's shoulder. My back was arch, the top of my head tipping the wall behind me. "Shit, shit…" Peeta's hands rested or rather anchored my hips as his wondrous mouth continued to suck and flick his tongue on my swollen clit. He had already made me come twice with his fingers before this onslaught. My other leg threatened to buckle as he knelt before me. "Peeta, Peeeeetaaaa…" I chanted over and over. I looked down to see his luscious blond head between my legs; his eyes opened gauging my reaction. "I can't…I can't."

"You will and you're going to come again," he commanded as he added two fingers in my wet pussy. I shook my head side to side. "I want to see and feel it again."

"I can't…my legs…falling…" I stuttered, too much pleasure to form words or complete sentences. I moaned deep and load when he swiped his tongue on my opening again. I placed one hand on his shoulder while the other messaged the top of his head. He hummed loud causing me to moan. I didn't mean for this to happen. Not that I regret it. I wanted to consult Kara first so the next time would be all about him and not just me.

After talking to Johanna, Peeta took my hand and led to the beach. He was quiet but content as he eyed the sand and water before us.

"I'll never forget this place, ever."

"Me, too," I returned. The memories will forever be imprinted in my mind; especially the memories of our times at the little bungalow. My face grew red and I felt flushed for the images that flashed in my mind. Peeta, beach, any flat surface or floor and my screams of pleasure etched in my mind every time I'll think of District 4. Since leaving District 12, this whole trip despite the stopover at each district has been one long orgasmic fest. I'm one very satisfied and lucky girl. Despite the nightmares I wouldn't regret one moment of out trip.

"Thank you for coming with me to the Capitol," he said once again. I smiled. _'Oh, Peeta. Thank you,'_ I muttered in my head.

"I'd follow you anywhere," I returned. I'd follow him to the mouth of hell and back if necessary to repeat this experience with him.

"Did you like your snack?" he inquired as he eyed my mouth while biting his lower lip.

"They were delicious, as always," I commented.

"Can we go back to the bungalow, I kinda hungry," he announced. My eyes grew wide. Since leaving 12, his appetite picked up. His plate was no longer half eaten. It was evident that he was gaining some weight back. After visiting 7, he didn't struggle with his meals. I provided little snacks in between the meals in the small kitchen at the bungalow. He, in turn, would bake and create desserts for our meals. It was these little routines that made life normal for us as we knew where I destination led us.

"Why didn't you eat some of your Cheese Buns?" I scolded him as I led him back to our little haven. Two Guardsmen trailed behind us as always but at a discreet distance. Peeta waved at them as he entered the house.

"I wasn't hungry for Cheese Buns, Katniss," he said, his voice low and deep. The tenor of his voice sent a tingle all over my skin. He closed the door behind him with a soft thud. I heard and felt the cadence of my heart. It echoed through my ears as I breathed through my mouth. Peeta had a predatory look in his eyes as he eyed me up and down starting from my chest down to my sandaled feet. As he raised his eyes upward, he licked his lips. "I want some Cheese Buns. Think I'll have some of yours." He stepped forward as one hand released a strap from my shoulder. I wore a dark orange sundress I knew Peeta loved on me. The length fell mid thigh showing traces of my scar on my legs.

He extended his hands on my waist pulled me to him. "What..?" I said but was cut off as he dragged both hands under my dress and squeezed my ass cheeks, grinding my center to his groin. His mouth crashed onto mine causing me to yelp in surprise. His tongue invaded my mouth, swirling and tangling with mine. Without a single thought I wrapped my arms around his neck and angled my head to kiss him deep, longer. Stealing his breath from his chest.

"The Cheese Buns tasted really good," he countered as he breathed through his mouth and tongue scaled down my mouth, throat and breastbone. His warm tongue swiped my skin. "Do you know what else I taste?"

"What?" I replied, my voice heavy and wispy as he moved my bra aside and swallowed a nipple into his warm, wet mouth. My knees buckled as I wrapped both hands around his head.

"Heaven," he responded while dipping one hand into my soaking panties and inserting a skillful finger inside me.

"Bed."

"Here, " he said as his tongue swirled around my nipple. "Now."

"Okay."

"You fucking taste so damn delicious," he stated. "Can't wait to eat your pussy."

"Fuck," I gasped at his crudeness, turning me on. Peeta had always been brilliant with his words, but when it came to dirty talk I was mesmerized and paralyzed with lust and need.

What happened minutes, hours later I couldn't remember when I screamed his name and cursed so loud I knew that they guys had heard me. They were smart enough to realize that I wasn't in any danger. But they were wrong. Amorous Peeta threatened to suck pleasure out of me, until I was screaming his name over and over. I was in danger of losing my mind with each swipe of his fingers and tongue as he ate me with gusto. He was relentless with his endeavor to pleasure me to my third or fourth orgasm. I lost count as the sensations reeled into me one after the other with no break in between.

"Shit, shit…shiiiit." My mind travelled to the memory of my talk with Johanna. My decision to seek Kara went up a notch. There was no way we were leaving District 4 without returning the pleasure Peeta enjoyed giving me. I swore all of District 4 would hear him scream my name by the end of this visit. "Peeta, my legs…I can't…"

He lifted with such ease, "Sorry, baby." He held one arm beneath my knees, the other around my shoulders as I wrapped both my arms around his neck. Within two steps, he laid me on the kitchen table. I leaned back using my elbows to lift my upper body as I watched him sit between my knees. I was exhausted, my throat tired from screaming his name and I couldn't feel my legs and feet. I squeaked as he situated me, pulling both legs on top of his shoulders placing his face right in front of my pussy. "Lay back and relax."

'Relax. He's got to be kidding me.' My mind whispered as my body tense beneath the glare in his eyes as he reintroduced himself with my swollen clit. My head tipped backwards as I thrust my hips towards his tongue "Peeta," I whimpered. I grabbed the edge of the table on either side of me preparing myself for another round. "Fuck," I said trying to control my volume as he licked from bottom to top of my center. His fingers followed as he wrapped his lips around my swollen clit. My moans grew, no longer caring who heard me. He inserted his tongue as deep as he could while massaging my engorged button.

He was trying to kill me.

I slumped backwards, arching my back for his tongue to go deeper. My mouth opened but no sound escaped.

His other hand pressed onto my stomach to stop me from any motion. I was greedy for more as I balanced my feet at the edge of table, opening my legs wider.

He continued to kill me once more. His lips wrapped around my aching clit and he sucked, hard.

My throat felt raw as I bellowed an ear-deafening scream.

The world turned black as I lost all feelings from my quivering body.

I awoke to soft lips on my forehead. "Katniss, baby wake up. You're scaring me," the voice was frantic as I tried to pry my eyes open. I felt the soft mattress beneath me as my naked body registered a hand on my cheek while a soft form half covered my side. "I'm sorry." That declaration forced my eyes wide open_. 'Huh.'_

"What happened?" I asked as I realized we were both lying in _our _bed.

"We were…you know and you screamed and hit your head hard," Peeta explained, his eyes filled with concern. "You passed out, I think."

"Fuck me." I breathed through my mouth.

"I don't think that's a good idea right now."

"No, I mean. Fuck, you really…the last one was amazing that I passed out." I smiled at him. Peeta smiled back, uncertain but with proud look on his face. My man has skills. "Wow. Double wow."

"You're welcome," he returned as he placed his head on my shoulder while palming my right breast. I whimpered in need. _'Fuck, I just passed out and I want him again.'_

"Peeta?"

"Hmm."

"Does this seem fair to you?" I inquired as I wrapped my arms around him. I love the feel of him in my arms. He's solid, alive and real. Sometimes I wondered if what we have now is real and I'm not in one of the vents back in District 13.

"What do you mean?" The rough pad of his thumb rubbed circles around my erect nipple.

"You made me come so many time and you haven't…" I couldn't finish my sentence. I didn't want to upset him. He lifted himself off me and placed his elbows on either side of my chest, hovering. His face so close to mine that I can feel his breath over my face.

"Do you know that ever since I knew about sex, all I wanted and fantasized was making to love you," he confessed. I gasped in excitement at his admission. "You'd be surprised at the times I…imagined you coming with my hands, fingers and my cock. This…what we have right now is dream come true for me."

"But it's not fair that you're not, you know…"

"Katniss, I never imagined that when came back to 12 that we would even be here right now," he admitted. "I never imagined that you wanted me this way ever after what I almost did to you."

"Peeta, that wasn't you."

"Yes, it was. I may not been in the right mind, but it was still my hands wrapped around you neck. I almost killed you," he stated as sorrow, shame and guilt filled his eyes.

"Peeta…"

"This is enough for me right now," he said as he kissed my forehead and trailed his lips to my eyes and cheeks.

"Don't you want more from me?" I asked.

"I can't…when you touch me I see her," he sighed. "I guess what Eva did to me is what I deserved. I shouldn't be touching you let alone making love to you." I sat up dislodging him as he lay back beside me.

"Don't you fucking ever say that? Ever. Do you hear me?" I screamed at him. "You would never hurt me like that. "

"I don't know but…"

"No one deserves being sexually assaulted." My angered churned my stomach. _'Is this what he's been punishing himself for?' _"If anyone doesn't deserve to be happy, it's me."

"You deserve to be happy, you deserve everything including a boyfriend who's not triggered to kill you or give you nightmares and have half a sex life because he can't get it up." He covered his eyes with his forearm, trying to hide the tears falling down his cheeks.

"Peeta."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." He turned his back facing away from me. I sobbed from frustration and anger. I'm angry with myself for ruining our perfect afternoon. "See. I ruined our time together."

"No, you didn't. I did."

"No, it's all on me. I can't even do this right."

"No, I ruined it by bringing this up instead of just appreciating our time together."

He chuckled as he reached over and grabbed me, causing me to land on top of him. "We're a mess."

"But we're a mess together, right?" I asked. "As long as we do this together, I don't care what happens."

"Okay."

"Off," I commanded as I unbuttoned his dress shirt. He obeyed without any hesitation. His shirt landed on the floor as he reached for me.

"Nuh huh, pants and underwear too." He gulped.

"I'm naked in our bed. You're not touching me until you're naked too."

"Katniss, I'm not ready, I can't…I don't want to…" he said as his voiced hitched in panic and anxiety.

"Hey, I just want to take a nap with my naked boyfriend. We're not going to do anything you're not ready for." I unzipped his pants. "Up." He lifted his hips off the bed. "I want to lie down next to my fucking, sexy hot guy who loves to make me come with his mouth," I said as I continued, "his fingers and very talented tongue." I made a move to lower his boxer shorts when he shook his head. Sighing, I relented and backed off.

"Lie down," I commanded his eyes glued to me as it wandered from chest to my aching pussy. He couldn't resist me even before we got together then. I knew for a fact that he can't resist or deny me now. I love that power I have over him. The same power he had over me. I was ready for round 5? I lost count. Whenever he touched me my mind goes on a tailspin leaving me incoherent of the world around me. This was what I ignored and avoided, sensations I've never felt before and very much addicted to. I'm an idiot.

I reached down and removed his prosthetic leg. He hissed when the limb was dislodged from his upper thigh. "Peeta, you're leg is swollen and red. Why haven't you said anything?"

"It hurts to wear it sometimes, but it all I have," he said. Since the fire where he lost everything, the leg he wore was temporary. Thus, it was one of the reasons why Peeta agreed to the Capitol. He was fitted for a new improved leg just designed for him.

"Oh, Peeta" I sighed. "Where's the lotion for your leg?" He pointed to a small blue bottle on the nightstand. I reached over and picked up. I spread a generous amount on my hand and massaged his lower left leg. He sighed in appreciation. The lotion left some cool and tingly effect on my hands. The redness disappeared but the limb remained swollen. I tried not to stare at his dormant cock underneath his boxer shorts. He was big even when he wasn't aroused. I bit the urge to touch him there. I speculated how long and thick he would be when he was erect. This was not the time to fantasize my wanting to make love to him. I needed to be patient and find the time to talk to Kara. It was a conversation I'm not looking forward to. "You feeling better baby?" I asked. He answered me with a light snore. I giggled to myself as I looked at him. My heart leapt at the sight before me. My center ached for his touch again. I leaned on my hand staring while he slept besides me.

He was not as under nourished looking. Our two weeks away from helped him gained some weight. The hollowness in his cheeks filled in some that his dimples resurfaced when he smiled. His hair finally returned to the glossy and luscious texture he had before his capture. The scars that marred his skin were still prominent. The ones he received on his arms were finally healed. The blotches on his left leg from the laser to remove the tattoo were light pink. He was a patchwork of colors, dent and scars that depicted his torture and abuse. I held back the sob from my throat to not wake him. He was so attuned to my presence that any sound or move I made when we were in bed always alerted him awake.

He was beautiful to me. He was my underweight, patchwork of scars, one-legged half naked lover. I wanted to jump him so bad. _'Okay, so I'm greedy, can you blame me?'_

I crawled up next to him. I placed my head on his shoulders where it rested every night. "Katniss," he whispered in his sleep. Whether he's awake or asleep he reached out to me.

* * *

That night after dinner Delly, Johanna, Bron, Peeta and I decided to have a bonfire. Annie was too exhausted from taking care of Fin to join us. Johanna complained feeling like a fifth wheel on a date as she sat between Delly and me. A couple of beers later, we are all tipsy from the alcohol consumption. I felt light and happy.

"Next time we visit Annie, we'll ask Alec to join us," Delly blurted between giggles. Johanna narrowed her eyes at Peeta. "Then you wouldn't be complaining so much."

"You are so dead, Peeta Mellark," she threatened my boyfriend.

"I didn't say anything to Delly," he said as he wrapped his arms around me tighter. I sat in front of him as I leaned back on his chest. He licked and nipped my ears all evening causing me to moan. After our peaceful nap, we took a shower together since his waterproof leg was burned in the fire. I washed him as he balanced on his one leg while he held onto my shoulders. It was a difficult sacrifice for a girlfriend to endure but I weathered it as best I could. He washed me afterwards, wiping his hands all over my aroused skin. I bit back the moan as he massaged my ass and breasts with great care. Unfortunately, the experience left me yet again wanting his touch and kisses. In other words, I'm horny and tipsy.

"Hey, I'm not blind you know," Delly corrected. "I saw how he's been looking at you. You got to be dumb not to notice."

"Fucking hell," Johanna exclaimed as we laughed. "I don't need any of you playing matchmaker. You're pissing me off."

"You're wound up to tight, you need to get laid, Mason," Bron teased. Delly gasped as she stared at her fiancé.

"Bron, honey?"

"Yeah, baby," Bron said in a smug manner but not too bright to notice Johanna's deadly glare.

"You better run," Delly advised.

"Huh?" he turned to see Johanna launch herself at him causing him to land on his back with her on top of him. He pushed her off and stood up. Johanna landed on her back to recover back onto her feet. "Delly, tell her I was only teasing."

"Bron, honey you are on your own you big baby," she cackled as Bron sprinted into the dark beach with Johanna close at his heels. We laughed so hard as we watched weave in and out of the dark beach with Johanna threatening him while Bron yelled for help. Three Guardsmen went on alert as they heard the screaming and yelling coming from the beach.

"What's going on?" Eli asked, concern and worry on his face. "Where's Bron and Johanna?"

"Help, Delly. Peeta!"

"Get back here, you jerk."

"Can't help you Bron," Peeta answered back. "She's already mad at me too." The Guardsmen took off to investigate the commotion. A few minutes later, the beach was in complete silence. Johanna skipped back to join us, minus Bron. She sat down next to Delly. I noticed that she was wet from knees down as sand clung to her.

"You didn't hurt him too bad, did you?" Delly asked.

"I didn't hurt him Delly, but he got what he deserved," she smiled back. Seconds later Bron returned, sopping wet from head to toe with all his clothes on. Two of his guardsmen trailed behind him sporting a huge smile on their faces.

"Delly, I think this one belongs to you," Eli reported. Suffice it to say; that it was a satisfying and wonderful evening as I fell into another mind blowing orgasmic induced sleep. _'Damn right Johanna, Peeta was a perfect boyfriend._'

* * *

Two days later, my happy bubble was once again shattered as I received a call on Annie's phone. She didn't receive many calls so it surprised me when it rang. It startled me when the call was for me. I picked up the receiver anxious and curious. Peeta looked at me with concern.

"Hello, this is Katniss," I announced.

"Katniss, it's me your mother," she replied. I closed my eyes in disbelief as anger simmered in my belly. "Hello?"

"What do you want?" I barked.

"Katniss, please. I need to see you before you head to the Capitol with Peeta."

"I have nothing to say to you."

She sighed. "Prim wouldn't want us to be like this," she said.

My anger intensified. "Don't bring Prim into this. She's dead, mother."

"Calm down, Katniss. Don't let her get to you," Peeta spoke. His calm and rationale voice grated me. I only felt anger as she continued to speak into my ear.

"I'm sorry. I don't know how else to get you to talk to me."

"Why would you want to talk to me now when you've been ignoring me for years," I exploded.

"Katniss…" I hung up before she could continue. Bitterness and resentment manifested. The air around me was stifling that I took off and ran out of the house. I heard Peeta yelling for me to stop and calling after me.

"Katniss, stop running."

"Leave me alone, damnit," I yelled at him.

"Come back to the house."

"I want to be left alone," I screamed walking fast and furious.

"Please calm down and come back to the house with me."

I turned to face him as he tried to wrap my arms around him. He stepped back and stumbled as I pushed him away. "Don't fucking hover. Can't I get a moments peace without you hovering over me? Leave me the fuck alone." Pain radiated from his face. He turned just in time for Johanna join us. "Great, are you two now handling me? Get out of my face the both of you. I don't need your pity right now. I don't need you period. " Peeta gasped, as Johanna's face grew grim.

"Peeta, go. I'll be there in a few minutes."

He turned and walked back alone as Johanna stood her ground. My words didn't register until I blinked a few times as I watched Peeta walked back with his shoulders slumped.

"You're a bitch you know that?" Johanna fumed.

"I wanted to be left alone, Johanna," I defended myself. "Peeta should know better to confront me right now and that includes you."

"Peeta may be your boyfriend but I'm your friend who happens to care about your boyfriend's feelings."

"This isn't about him," I informed her.

"Your mother turned up and you're hurt and in pain and angry. This is about him because he wanted to help you. Like a good boyfriend should," she returned. "You know for comfort and support."

"Well, he can't help me."

"And how would you know that if you won't explain it to him instead of telling him to leave you alone and get out of your face like he's some bug you're annoyed with," she stated with logic and calm. "You're in a relationship Katniss. When you hurt he hurts for you too; that's how relationships works."

"And who are you, a relationship expert?" I sneered at her.

"No just someone, a bystander who hates seeing her best friend being treated like shit from his girlfriend."

"He wouldn't understand because his mother was a bitch to him," I explained.

"And you're mother neglected and abandoned you, boohoo. Poor Katniss," she mocked me. "At least you still have a mother to complain about. Delly and Peeta lost theirs. How do you think they feel seeing you reject your own mother while they miss their own?"

"Just shut the fuck up, Johanna," I seethed in anger. "I bet your mother was perfect."

"We're not talking about my mother, are we?"

"You don't know what it was like when she abandoned us."

"No I don't, but it still doesn't explain why you're mad at your mother and you took it out on your boyfriend," she commented.

"She just makes me so angry," I explained.

"I can understand the anger but not your treatment of Peeta," she wondered.

"I didn't mean to do that. She makes me so crazy that I react irrationally and…"

"And react like a selfish bitch to the one person who cares and loves you with every fiber of his being," she continued. "Get angry, spitting mad if you need to. Just stop pushing him away when you should be leaning on him."

"I can't talk to him about her. His mother was bitch and didn't deserve him."

"Right now you don't deserve him."

"I fucking know that, Johanna," I screamed. "Haymitch already made that very clear to me a long time ago."

"And yet you still have not learned anything."

"I'm sorry, okay. It's just that I feel guilty. I'm the one who killed his whole family. It was my fault they're all dead."

"No you didn't. Snow killed his family, not you."

"If it wasn't for me, his family would still be alive," I explained.

"You think you're the one that got District 12 bombed? You're so full of yourself," Johanna sneered. "You still can't see the whole picture, can you? The rebellion was simmering by the time you and Peeta showed up. You're not the only reason that 12 was obliterated because if that was the case, then you should also blame Peeta."

"He didn't do anything wrong?" I defended him.

"That's where you're wrong, MockingJay," she concluded. "His little love confession sparked the rebellion against the Capitol. The rebels found an opportunity and they started planning their next move. You think everything that happened was by chance? That you were the reason why Panem rebelled? You have quite an ego. You're union as the Star-Crossed Lovers ignited Panem. You two became a symbol of choice and freedom. But it was Peeta's feeling for you that fueled the rebellion when they named you the MockingJay. So if you want to blame someone, you blame the one person who started it all. Peeta Mellark."

"No, Coin, Plutarch and the rebellion used us. They used Peeta's love for me to start a war that I never wanted to get involved in. He was dumb enough to fall for a sullen girl that didn't appreciate what he was offering."

"And where do you think we would be without Peeta's confession, hmm?" Johanna mocked. "You and Peeta would be in one sided marriage, mentoring the next tributes in the next Hunger Games. The games would have continued for years to come." And my beloved Prim would be in the next arena if I made one move against Snow. I would have denied and resented my life with Peeta. It would have been a loveless marriage on my part while he loved me from afar. Never really committing to me knowing that I didn't love him back. But was that true? Would I have entered into our marriage without confessing my feelings and affections for him? Peeta would never believed me after months of avoidance, anger and bitterness I threw at him over and over again.

"Have you calm down?" she asked. I nodded my head as thoughts of my mother left my mind. "Good because you need to go back to the house and do some groveling and begging for forgiveness with your very understanding and patient like a saint boyfriend." She shook her head. "Don't understand what he sees in you."

"I wondered that myself," I acknowledged.

I hurt Peeta again even when I didn't mean to. When will I ever stop running when things get hard for me to face? Peeta was must be really disappointed in me.

"You will apologize and make it up to him when get back." I nodded my head. Easier said than done.

"I can never forgive my mother for abandoning Prim and me."

"Never is a harsh word, Katniss. You're very lucky that yours is still alive," she stated.

"That's debatable. Your mother must have had her hands full raising you," I teased as I tried to lighten the mood.

"My mother is dead. I killed her." I'm speechless from her confession. I waited for an explanation.

"After winning my games, I was celebrated and revered as a hero and celebrity at District 7. But we all know the truth about winning these games, don't we Katniss," she sighed. "You don't come back the same. The accolades and adoration were just glitter to the horrors I never knew attached to being a Victor. I had blood on my hands that I couldn't away in my thoughts and in my dreams." I knew and agreed with her assessment. I had so much blood in hands as well, more than anyone.

"After the first time I _performe_d from the Capitol I was so angry I killed Snow's client with my bare hands. I raged and threatened Snow that if I he sent me to perform again I'll kill the next one who comes nears me. He retaliated in kind by killing my siblings first. They died in an accident. I couldn't prove it but I knew it was him. The timing was too coincidental." I shudder at the thought of what she endured. Prim would have been a casualty. "I refused to go to the Capitol and stayed home to protect my parents. In her grief, my own mother blamed me. Snow showed up to pay his respects that my mother was fooled by his generosity and kindness. She couldn't understand my anger and hostility towards him. I never told her what happened to me at the Capitol. She thought I was being ungrateful and selfish. That becoming a Victor gave me a big head." She wiped her tears from her eyes.

"How can I tell her? Snow threatened to can Parcel Day and District 4 would have felt his wrath for my defiance. At this point she wouldn't have believed me because I was indulging in alcohol and drugs to alleviate my anger and grief. Had I known what kind of life I was rewarded after becoming a Victor I would have chosen death. At least all of my family would still be alive." She looked at the beach for a moment. "The last time I saw my mother we had a huge argument. I couldn't even tell you how it started of what it was about. All I remembered was that a lot of nasty and means things we said to each other. My last words were, 'I wish you were dead.' Two weeks later, they found my parents dead in their bed. Doctors declared it was suicide from taking too many sleeping pills. The loss and grief from my sibling's death took a toll on them. But I knew better. It was Snow's handy work."

"I'm so sorry, Johanna." I finally understand her anger and bitterness towards the world. It pretty much reflected my feelings.

"So you see, Katniss. I killed my whole family," she said.

"You didn't. Snow killed them because you dared to defy him."

"Just like Snow killed all of District 12 and Peeta's family," she concluded. "Don't put the burden on your shoulders, Katniss. You were used like an instrument for the rebellion, just like Snow used Peeta."

"I never blamed Peeta for almost…" Johanna nodded her head in understanding.

"Katniss, you're mother handled her grief in a selfish way by neglecting and abandoning you and Prim. She did wrong you but…she is still your mother," she added. "But have you ever thought that if she didn't react the way she did, would you be the person you are now. You grew up and became the head of the household; taking all the responsibilities of an adult. You became a hunter to feed your family. You learned a skill from your father that became useful and necessary when you got reaped. What would have happened to you if you didn't learn how to use a bow and arrow?" And where would I be if it weren't for a boy who threw bread at me in the rain. "Things happened for a reason, Katniss. So, you got the end of the short stick, but think of where you would be if you never learned to use your bow." Dead, I would be dead and so would Peeta. Prim would have seven years of reaping while my mother languished in her grief. I would not have been there to protect her.

"Be angry at your mother for what she did or didn't do," she stated. "Find out what she wants. Forgive her or don't, just talk to her. Don't let your relationship hang in the air. Delly, Peeta and I envy that your mother is still in your life. At least she'll know where you both stand."

In my mind, I knew she was right but I couldn't stomach the idea of having a heart to heart with her. Just the thought of her made me angry. And in my anger I hurt Peeta.

"Stay out here for a few minutes, calm down and go back to the house and make amends with your boyfriend," she advised. "I'm sure he's anxious right now." I nodded my head. She walked back to the house as she left me standing alone in the beach. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. After a few seconds, I walked back into the house with a heavy heart and my tail between my legs, hoping that Peeta will forgive me. He'll make me grovel which I gladly submit to so I can make up with him.

I opened the door to find Annie alone holding Fin in her arms. Johanna had an anxious look on her face. "Where's Peeta?"

"Delly took him to the Med Center. He was having an anxiety attack so Bron and two of the Guardsmen went with him," Johanna informed me. I walked out the door and stopped realizing that I didn't know the location of the Med Center.

Johanna joined me outside. "Take me to him."

"Maybe it's best that we wait until we get back," Johanna advised.

"No the last time I did I waited to long instead of being with him," I countered. "Please take me to him now. I have to be there with him." Johanna nodded as two Guardsmen appeared. The trip was short but I swore as each mile passed my anxiety and fear grew.

"He's all right, Katniss. At least he made the right decision to go there." I nodded my head. It didn't help since it was me that drove him there to begin with.

The minute we walked into the center we were swarmed by the staff, reporters and fans. I steeled my nerves from the onslaught of people surrounding us. Once we reached the floor that Peeta occupied I turned to the nurse at the reception desk. Without any formality I blurted the first thing that came out of my head. "Where is Peeta?"

She looked at me in surprise and admiration. "Ms. Everdeen, it's a great pleasure…"

"Where is Peeta?" My patience was short and my nerves raw. I needed him to be okay.

"He's in one of the consulting room in conference with Dr. Aurelius and Dr. Templeton. He's in the middle of a session," she explained. "No one is allowed in there."

"Which room is he in?" I asked gathering as much patience as I could.

"Down the hall and to your left. The Guardsmen are…" her voice trailed off as I ran to the hallway. I met Delly along the corridor.

"Where is he?"

"Katniss, you can't be here right now. He's in the middle of a session."

"But…"

"Come on, why don't you wait in one of the private rooms. Wait there and I'll have the Guardsmen bring him when he's done," Johanna said as she directed me towards Delly who led me into a room.

"He's here because of me," I admitted as I sat down on one of the lounge chairs.

"No you didn't. Did you forget that he had a session scheduled today?"

I was so angry that I had forgotten about his appointment. "Yes, it must have slipped my mind." I excused myself. "I don't think it helped that I yelled at him today."

"He's a big boy, Katniss. He is quite aware of your temper and habit of running off when you're angry," she reminded me.

"I shouldn't have yelled at him when I was really angry at my mom." She kept quiet agreeing with me. "I didn't mean to do that."

"He understands your anger and your pain. Just stop pushing him away when all he wants to do is comfort you." She sat next to me in support and comfort for making yet another mistake with Peeta. I nodded my head. His session lasted for about an hour and a half.

"What's taking so long," I asked. Delly stood up and went to a phone. She hung up minutes later. He never had a session longer than an hour. I started to panic.

"Kara took him to get a brain scan about twenty minutes ago. He should have been back by now."

We entered the hallway when Peeta and the Guardsmen appeared. He had his hands in his pockets with his shoulders slumped and tears in his eyes. I ran up to him. "Peeta, what's wrong? What happened?" Johanna appeared besides me.

'Your mother happened?"

"What? I don't understand." I gasped in shock.

"I dropped him off to get his scan. I needed to go to the restroom leaving him with the Guardsmen thinking, _'Hey, he's safe, what could happen, right?'_ Well, your mother walked in during the scan. When I got back she locked the room so I couldn't get to him. When the door opened, she left leaving Peeta in his current state."

"Peeta, what did she say." His lips trembled as he averted and walked past me.

He took off out of the corridor into mass of people waiting for us. He ran away just like I did to him earlier today. With the assistance of the hospital security staff and the Guardsmen we were secured onto our hover car and headed back to Annie's. During that time no words were spoken nor did he acknowledge my presence. His eyes were misty and had a faraway look in them. I couldn't get his attention even when I gripped his hand as he was slacked against mine. _'I swore if my own mother said something that hurt him I'll never forgive her.' _My mind screamed. Johanna and Delly sat beside us with sympathy and concern in their eyes.

For the rest of the day, Peeta made an effort to not be alone with me. He held Fin for some time then proceeded to make dinner, alone. Annie, Delly and Johanna advised that I leave him alone until he was ready to speak to me. I hated his silence. Dinner was quiet and tense, as everyone knew that we were at odds with each other. He never glanced my way or spoke to me. He barely ate his meal as I sat next to him. As soon as dinner was finished he stated that he was tired from his session and went back to the bungalow. I bit my lip from sobbing into tears from his treatment, but I knew I deserved it.

"Katniss, what are you going to do?" Delly asked.

"I need to borrow Bron for an hour," I returned. "I have to go find my mother. She said something to him that upset him and I can't ask him when he's like this." He's upset and forlorn. There's no point in trying to get him to talk to me. I would react in anger for his silence and avoidance. We were both stubborn.

Twenty minutes later, I walked up to a small house not too far from Annie's home. It was dark but there was a light coming from one of the windows. It was a candle. My mother would place one near a window for my father when hunted late night. She must have been expecting me when I knocked on her door because she was not surprised at my appearance.

"Please come in," she announced. Bron stayed outside providing us some privacy. I looked around her home. It was much smaller than Annie's but well equipped by modern standards.

Without so much of any formality or pleasantries I fired, "What did you say to Peeta?"

"I knew that you wouldn't talk to me so I took the chance of speaking to him to catch your attention," she admitted her deception. "And here you are for his sake and not for your own."

"He was in tears when you spoke to him," I spoke loud and firm. "You said something to upset him and he won't tell me."

"You and I may not be close, but I spoke to him as a mother. I told him of my concern of your safety and welfare. I spoke at your best interest to ensure that you were safe with him." _'What the fuck.'_

"What did you say, mother?" I seethed in anger for I knew what she was inferring of my safety.

"I told Peeta that it would be selfish of him to have a relationship with you when he once tried to kill you," she reported. "He's not safe with you, Katniss. Dr. Aurelius informed me that the venom in his system could never be removed or replaced. One bad day is all it takes with him." My mind spun with disbelief and anger. How dare she dictate whom I date? "You're playing with fire, Katniss. I told him that if he really loved you, he should step aside and leave you alone and find someone safer, saner. Someone who won't kill you when he's having a bad day."

I lost all sense of control as I walked over and slapped her hard across her check. "How dare you come back into my life and resume your 'motherly' duties over me. You lost that privilege years ago when I started taking care of Prim."

"Katniss, I was lost and grieving for losing the love of my life." She held a hand on her red cheek.

"And I lost both parents that day," I screamed.

"The past is past, Katniss," she added. "I only did what I thought was best for you."

"You are meddling in affairs that doesn't concern you."

"I'm still your mother, Katniss," she reiterated. "I'm concern about your relationship with Peeta. He's dangerous. You are all I have left."

"And you came to this conclusion when?" I said with derision.

"I'm sorry that I didn't come back with you to 12. I was grieving as well," she defended herself. "I thought I could talk to Peeta and make him see that it's wrong for you to be with him. I don't want to lose you too."

"You lost me a long time ago. You're motherly concern is not wanted or appreciated," I returned. "You didn't have the right to speak to Peeta at all and behind my back."

"You weren't going to listen to me and I thought I could talk some sense with Peeta…"

"Do you hate me so much that you would ruin the only relationship I ever wanted?" I roared. "I need him, damnit."

"You feel sorry for him and feel guilty for the things that happened while he was in the Capitol," she retorted. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion. Her reasoning and logic sounded all too familiar.

"Have you been talking to Gale, mother?" I inquired. She didn't even have the decency to look apologetic as her silence confirmed my suspicion. "You have, haven't you? So both of you think that I'm only with Peeta because I feel sorry for him? What kind of idiot or love sick fool do you think I am?"

"You never claimed to love him ever," she reminded me. My mistakes would haunt me. Seeking comfort from Gale added to those mistakes that led him to believe that I chose him over Peeta after he was rescued. I was lost and hurt that I finally admitted that I loved him and he in turn was trained to kill me.

"What I felt or feel for him isn't anyone's business, that includes you and especially Gale," I screamed.

"You're not safe with him. He's a danger to everyone."

I laughed at the absurdity of her assumption. "I'm not safe with him?" My mother looked at me as if I lost my mind. "I've never felt more safe with anyone than Peeta Mellark."

"He's going to kill you one day when he gets triggered or flashback…"

"What the hell do you know? In all the times, I've been with him he has never laid a finger on anyone or me for that matter. Do you know what he does when he's triggered? He hurts himself. He gets on his hands and knees and pounds his head on the ground until he knocks himself out. There's a little girl back in 12 that wants him to be her daddy. He would rather kill himself than ever hurt anyone. He's the most gentle and loving person I have known."

"I didn't know. Gale told me…"

"Ask me not Gale. Ask me who knows him best," I said. She looked at me with sorrow and shame.

"When I'm with him he's very gentle and sweet. He's never hurt me. When he touches me, it's always with such reverence and tenderness. I'm not scared of him." He frightens me in other ways. The way he loves me with a passion I have yet to experience with our bodies in mutual physical need.

"You really do love him," she realized.

"With all my heart and soul. He's the love of my life," I concluded. She gasped in surprise. "I really love him. I'm in love with Peeta." I had to make certain she knew whom I loved with no doubt for her to challenge. She smiled.

"I'm sorry, Katniss. When I spoke to Gale he convinced me that you were still pretending to be in love with him because you felt guilty and sorry for him," she confessed.

My anger bubbled in my chest. "Why the hell are you even talking to Gale?"

"He calls me whenever he can. We talk about you most of the time. How he's worried that you going to get yourself killed being with Peeta."

"I admit that he has had a few episodes and flashbacks. He has harmed anyone, not the way Gale is describing him to you. Peeta has always been gentle with me. " I said remembering our mornings together. "If anyone hurt me it's Gale, forcing his way into my life insisting that I should be with him."

"He loves you, Katniss. He was heartbroken when you went back to 12 without him."

A thought crossed my mind. "Why did you bring white roses to the Annie's house?"

"What?"

"The day you visited, you had a dozen white roses with you?" She rubbed her hands together, a gesture I knew when she was nervous or anxious.

"I had to make sure. Gale told me that he can prove that Peeta was dangerous," she explained. I closed my eyes and held my breath for a second. _'Fucking, son of a bitch,'_ my mind screamed. "He told me that the sight of the roses would induce a flashback proving how dangerous he is around you."

Even after all this time, Gale still insisted in interfering in my life and trying to sabotage my relationship with Peeta. "That was mean and cruel even from you mother," I sneered. "What has Peeta ever done to you to hurt him like that?"

"I want you to be happy and get what you deserve." She doesn't realize that I don't deserve Peeta but I'm still selfish enough to want him.

"I want him and no one, not even you will stop me from having a relationship with him."

"I was afraid you'd say that," she sighed. "I think you can do better than him…"

"Yeah, and who do you think is better for me than Peeta?" I asked out of curiosity knowing her answer.

"Gale loves you so much, Katniss," she said. "You're safer with him and he would never hurt you."

"But he already has hurt me," I yelled at her. Did she forget that it was Gale's bomb that killed Prim?

"It wasn't his fault that Prim was there, Katniss," she rationalized.

"So your okay to approve my relationship with Gale. The guy who helped build a bomb that killed hundreds of innocent people. The bomb that took Prim's life," I reminded her.

She remained silent. "There is so much hate and anger in him. He was and is never what I wanted. Peeta has always confounded me. I felt emotions with him that I never wanted. He scared me."

"Loving someone is scary but is the most wonderful feeling in the world when it's returned," she sighed. I knew she was thinking of my father.

"I'm not with Gale because he killed Prim though that is one of the reasons why I could never be with him," I stated. "I never felt for Gale the way I felt for Peeta. I don't know how much more I can convince you when I tell you that I love Peeta. I will always love Peeta the way you loved my father." I'm exhausted and I miss having Peeta's arms around me. "He's everything I never thought or dared to imagine. I never wanted to fall in love with anyone let alone a Merchant boy. He's it for me. I never felt this way for anyone including Gale."

"I'm sorry I went behind your back and spoke to him. I was looking at your best interest. You're my only daughter. Gale said that he was a threat to your life and I wanted to protect you."

"Whatever you said to him hurt him. He's not speaking to me. If what you said by any chance will cause him to break up with me, I swear on Prim's soul that I will never forgive you. If we have a set back and he wants nothing to do with me, you and I over. Do you understand?" I threatened her. This would be the last time I would ever speak to her if Peeta leaves me for my own good.

"If lost Peeta because of you…"

"I'm sorry," she whimpered.

"You and I…time could have healed the hurt that passed between us. But going after Peeta the way you did. I can't forgive you for that. Especially if he breaks up with me."

"I do love you, Katniss," she said as her filled with tears. "I did what I did to protect you."

"No, you made it a mission not just to see me but to break Peeta and me up. You didn't ask or made an effort to see me," I disclosed. "You made your conclusions without talking to me about what's been going on in my life. When you hurt Peeta, you injured me too."

"I'm really sorry," she said reaching out to me.

"Me, too." I walked out of her home and her life.

During the ride home, I was tense and scared. What if Peeta finally reached the end of his patience and breaking point? What if my mother convinced him to break up with me? What horrible people he must think of us. Two Everdeen women in his life, one disapproved of his relationship with the daughter and other runs off every time something goes wrong in her life while the only Everdeen that approved of him was dead. I bit back the tears that threatened to break lose. I arrived back to see a bonfire at the beach. A two figures stood before the roaring fire. It was Peeta and Jace. Peeta hid his hands in his pockets as drew lines on the sand with his bare foot.

My steps felt heavy, as did my heart. Two Guardsmen stood watch 20 yards away. Peeta looked up when he saw me. Jace spoke and pointed at me causing Peeta to look up. He ran towards me with arms opened. I fell into his arms relieved at this reception.

"Katniss, what's wrong? Are you hurt?" blurted as he tightened his arms around me. I trembled in his embrace. "Hey, why are you crying? Is your mom okay?" I sobbed in disbelief. Not a few hours ago, my own mother tried to convince Peeta to leave me and here he was concerned about her welfare and my distraught state. I mistreated him as well.

"I'm sorry, please don't leave me," I cried.

"What? I don't understand. Why would I leave you?" he asked in a credulous manner.

"I didn't meant to hurt you this afternoon," I said as I grabbed the front of his shirt with both hands. He clasped his hands together on the small of my back, locking me in his embrace. "I confronted my mom. I know what she said to you. Please don't listen to her. I feel safe with you. I'm not scared of you." I babbled, trying to find words to assure him that I want him regardless of what my mother said. "Don't let her tear us apart." I reached around and locked him in a tight embrace. "I'm not letting you leave."

"I couldn't if I tried," he said in my ear.

"I know that you're angry and disappointed in me but please don't let her tear us apart. What she said wasn't true. I feel safe with you. Don't leave me," I blubbered some more.

"Hey, hey slow down. Take a deep breath, okay?" he comforted me. I closed my eyes and held on tight. _'Please, please, please don't let go,'_ I chanted in my head. "I'm not going anywhere and neither are you." He let go and faced me, eye-to-eye and nose to nose. I breathed hard through my mouth as I blinked my eyes to focus on his face. He touched my face wiping tears from cheeks. "Don't cry, we're okay, Katniss. We're more than okay." I hugged him back relieved and exhausted. "Come here." He took my hand and led me to the bonfire.

I sat on his lap needing his comfort and his strong arms around me. I didn't hate my mother but her abrupt presence and interference in my life rankled me. For months she was absent at the times I needed her most. I was resolved to live without her but for her to show up and being influenced by Gale to ingratiate herself in my life was more than I could bear. She confronted Peeta with the only ammo to divide us; his fear of hurting me.

"I don't like seeing you cry," he said. "I don't care what she said about me, Katniss but when she makes you cry I'm more than happy to give her a piece of my mind."

"I wish you did," I said. "She didn't have the right to speak to you like that."

"She's no less different from my own mother," he chuckled. "And my mother was mean. Your mother spoke out of love and concern for you."

"Doesn't matter. She's been absent in my life for the past seven years." I sighed, relishing his arms around me. "I don't want to talk about her anymore."

"Okay, baby," he comforted me.

"So you're not mad at me anymore," I said my voice soft and uncertain.

"I wasn't mad. I'm well acquainted with your temper," he teased into my neck, sniffing my skin. "Just don't push me away, okay? I only want to help you."

"I told you that I'll mess up."

"You didn't mess up," he returned. He leaned over and kissed me, chaste and sweet.

"I'm sorry that my mom came after you. I can't believe she did that behind my back telling you to break up with me."

"She thought she was protecting you. I can't be mad at her for that." He understood her motive and forgave her. She insulted us both with her interference and assumptions without asking for the facts. I couldn't forgive her for that.

"But she tried to…she wanted to trigger an episode so that you'll attack me and prove to…Ga…to me that you're dangerous. How sick is that? She was willing to put me in danger just to prove a point."

"I was tempted at first, but you should know by now. I'm selfish when it comes to you," he admitted. "If I knew with great certainty that you wanted…someone else, I would let you go if he made you happy."

"You make me happy," I confirmed as I kissed again this time with all the passion I could telegraph with my lips. "I don't anyone but you."

"Me, too. I never wanted anyone but you too," he reiterated with his kisses.

"Peeta, I want to make you happy as you made me." I shifted in his lap as I lay my forehead against his.

"You do, Katniss. I'm more that happy."

"Are you? Are you happy even though we haven't made love yet?" I blushed as my cheeks grew warm. His eyes twinkled with laughter.

"After everything we've done together you're still blushing," he said in awe and jest. I pouted in return.

His hand massaged my legs underneath my dress. "So now that we made up, does that mean we get to have our makeup session?" My breath hitched in anticipation as his hand reached the edge of my panties." His tongue licked my neck as I arch my back.

"Peeta, we need to go back to the house," I moaned as a single digit traced the lips of my vagina.

"No, here and now," he commanded as he kissed me silent, swallowing my moans of pleasure.

"The guys…" I gasped as a finger slid home.

"I don't care. I'm going to make you come with my fingers inside you," he announced as he worked his magic underneath my dress. From a distance I hoped that we looked like we're only kissing when in reality he was fucking me with his fingers. I sent a prayer to his parents thanking them for teaching him the art of bread making. Peeta has very talented hands.

Minutes later I screamed into his mouth, biting his lip. He responded in kind by massaging my aching center as I slowed my breath. "You're magnificent when you come. The way you close you eyes and arch your back. You make me happy when you come with hands, tongue and mouth. I live to see that. I commit it to memory until the next time." He licked my pleasure from his fingers. "I'll never forget the taste of your skin, of you." His words moved me. I was on fire and ready again. Tonight we passed a crossroad. Our love for each other strengthened. I formulated my next plan. Tomorrow I would visit Kara. I resolved to not leave this beach without one more memory.

* * *

The next morning I asked Johanna and Delly to accompany me to see Kara. She was occupying an office at the Med Center. I prayed that I didn't bumped into my mother. After a kiss and hug from my anxious boyfriend, we left Annie's house in good spirits. I bite the urge to stay with Peeta after looking back as we drove away. He stood by the house until we disappeared from view. He looked anxious, worried and sad. I felt the same as I watched his figure turn small as each mile separated us.

"He'll be right there where you left him. Don't worry. He's in good hands," Johanna announced.

"Besides, you're leaving him behind for a good cause." Delly winked at me. When I told Delly why I needed to see Kara she screamed in my ears for joy. You would have thought that she was the one seeking professional help for sex tips. I nodded my head trying to convince myself I was doing the right thing for us behind his back. I was doing this for us.

Kara looked surprised but pleased as I entered her temporary office. "Katniss, how are you? I didn't expect see until two day from now." Delly and Johanna went to town to shopping. We were leaving in two days and we needed supplies for the last days of our stay at District 4.

"I hoping I'm not interrupting," I said as I closed the door behind me.

"Please have a seat." I sat down and folded my hands on my lap. "How can I help you?" My brows furrowed surprised by her question. "It must be really important to you to seek me out."

"I needed some advise and Johanna told me that you can help me," I explained. I was lost for words. How do I ask her for personal advise? Do I come out straight to the point and say, _'Hey, every time Peeta and I are together, he doesn't have an erection and it bothers me.'_ or _'I want him to enjoy our time together without him thinking of Eva attacking him while I'm trying to make love to him,' _or how about_ 'My boyfriend has been giving the most awesome, mind-blowing, earth shattering-that-fainted orgasms and I want to return the favor.'_ Ugh, how embarrassing.

"If you're going to ask what Peeta said in his session yesterday, I can't tell you," she interjected. "It's private." I shook my head. My throat's dry and my hands were sweaty.

"No, that's not why I'm here."

"Relax, Katniss, I know why you're here." _Huh._ "Johanna called me to give me a heads up."_ I'm going to kill her over and over again. _"She knew how difficult and embarrassed you'd be so don't be mad at your friend who cares about you and Peeta." _Open a hole in the ground so I can dive into it._ "I'm here to help you if you want my help once you get over your embarrassment."

I slumped against the chair and hid my eyes with both my hands. "Katniss, really. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. You and Peeta love each other, it's only natural that you want to help him." She stood up and gave me a glass of water. "Dr. Aurelius has given me all his files from the time he was rescued and when he arrived back in 12 so I know his history in the Capitol and his experience with Ms. Perry. You can ask me anything. Our talk will be private. Even Peeta doesn't have to know even it is about him." I felt more guilty that I was doing this behind his back. "Think of it this way, we're just having a heart to heart talk, like two girlfriend having a conversation."

"I don't want to upset him if he ever found out I was talking to you about him like this. About his…problem," I admitted.

"Your session with me is just as private and confidential as his," she informed me. I nodded my head. "So tell me what's on your mind."

For the next hour I spoke to Kara about my concern and guilt of taking advantage of Peeta's generous nature. She proceeded to advise me what I needed to know and do for him.

"Just remember it's not just all about him when you're seducing him. It's also about you and what you're comfortable in experiencing with him," she mentioned. "I believe that Peeta is quite attuned to your emotions. Don't force anything that would set you both back. Let him set the pace and let him know he's in control."

She was professional and calm with her suggestions. Much to my chagrin, she was very helpful. Suffice it to say, I felt relief and excited of my plans to seduce my boyfriend after speaking to her.

* * *

_**AN: So after rewriting this chapter (3 times) to my satisfaction I realized that again this was way too long to post as one chapter. Please forgive me. I will post Katniss' seduction on Tuesday. It's long enough to stand on it own chapter for you smut lovers. Hehe. Please send a shout out if you're interested if not, the next post will be after the Fourth of July weekend. Until then, thank you for reading this chapter. Have a great weekend.**_


	33. Chapter 33 - THe Stars That Guide Us

Chapter 33 – The Stars That Guide Us

_AN: Thank you for the positive response to the last chapter. Many thanks to those who reviewed, alerted and favored my story. I can't thank you enough. Any mistakes found are mine. All rights belong to Suzanne Collins. _

* * *

**Peeta POV – **

"Peeta, settle down buddy," Bron said for the fifth or sixth time. "Katniss will be home soon enough." I sighed as I stopped my pacing. I knew I was driving him insane. As soon as the girls left my anxiety escalated to panic. "She'll be fine with Delly and Johanna." I'm well aware that both of them can protect Katniss; not that she needed their protection. My girl was quite capable of taking care of herself.

"I know I'm being…"

"Love sick and paranoid." Bron filled in. He smirked and scoffed at me. "I know the feeling whenever Delly leaves my sight. But they're all big girls who can take of themselves."

"It's not that…well not all together," I admitted. "I just don't like being separated with her too long. The last time we got separated…I…" I stopped myself from completing my thought. "I get this anxious feeling. It's manifested during the Quarter Quell and I haven't been able to shake it off since."

"You love her and want to protect her. It's only natural that you feel that way," he said. "You two have been through so much, it's normal that you feel a little overprotective."

"Yeah," I sighed.

"She feels the same with you." I smiled. His comments made my heart soar. It was a foreign feeling being loved in return. I loved my mother. She never nurtured a mother and son relationship that left me wanting to be loved. It carved a hole in my heart and soul. After I met Katniss I was faced with disappointment and heartbreak. What I felt for her was not mutual or returned. It was a feeling I was accustomed to due to my experience with my own mother. I had sort of expected it. The months after the first game were the worse. She lived across me with her sister and her mother. Our interaction was minimal if any at all. I hid and avoided any contact. My hurt and heartbreak of her using me tore into my soul. I loved her, worshipped her and she was 'confused.' She wasn't confused about her interaction with Gale. I would watch them early morning as she returned home hunting with him. My envy and anger grew each day that I forced myself to interaction with Haymitch to stay busy and my mind focused elsewhere. But everywhere I looked or anyone I spoke to reminded me of her.

My family abandoned me not wanting to live or share with my bounty as a Victor. I felt shame instead of pride. I needed them. They in turn turned on me. I was alone for the first time in my life. I thought back to those miserable days, weeks when I wallowed in pity and sorrow. My future looked empty.

After the Quarter Quell announcement, I didn't expect to live. The odds were stacked against me. Katniss was coming back home was the only thing I was certain of. My existence didn't make any sense or have any purpose without her. No one would miss me.

Being with her now was a miracle. When I first stepped on the train platform after my hospitalization at the Capitol, I experienced a déjà vu. I was literally alone with only Haymitch to greet me. I was certain I was going to live my life without her. Now that's she mine. I'm greedy and possessive. I stood up again and started to pace.

"For heaven's sake Peeta. Why don't you go the kitchen and start dinner or something," Bron said in amusement and frustration. "Do something because watching you pace is driving me nuts. You're anxiety is contagious and I'll start worrying about Delly too."

I sighed once more and headed towards the kitchen where I found Annie preparing Fin's bottle. "Need any help, Annie?" I asked as I pulled flour and yeast out of a cabinet.

"No, I'm good Peeta," she returned as she tried the temperature of the milk on her. She hissed. "Oh, still hot. I didn't think I left it too long on the warmer." She placed the bottle in a bowl of ice placed on the counter as she sighed. "Need any help for dinner?"

"No, I've got it. Why don't you relax," I said as I pulled vegetables and frozen meat out of her refrigerator. My mind was occupied that I didn't realize that Annie was addressing me. The past few days have been peaceful. I made most of my time with Katniss for who knew what lay ahead as we enter the Capitol. My days seemed numbered and my luck running out.

"Peeta, are you okay?" she asked.

"Huh, I'm sorry what were you saying. My mind is elsewhere at the moment,' I admitted shaking my head.

"I know. I've been talking to you for the last 5 minutes," she smiled. "Thinking about Katniss or should I ask?"

"Am I that obvious?" I whined. God I'm pathetic. "I'm worried about Delly and Johanna too."

"I know you Peeta. It's okay, I understand."

"I'm in a place in my life where things are good, really good, Annie," I said as I poured ingredients on to her table to fold bread. "But once we leave for the Capitol I'm afraid that my luck will run out. I'm never been lucky in love or my life." Everything that has transpired seemed too good to be true. I'm not this lucky.

"Peeta, you can't think that way. It's fatalistic. You're asking the universe to make your fears come true. You're practically inviting it."

"I can't help it," I admitted. "It's the story of my life." Before she could argue with me, Bron stepped in the room with a whimpering Fin in his arms.

"Look who started to get fussy and missing his mama," he said as placed her in Annie's arms. "I hope you don't mind me bringing him to you."

"I don't mind, Bron. Thank you," she said as she balanced Fin in her arms and tested the milk. She placed the nipple in his mouth and he quieted. "He more likely was missing the next meal actually," she cackled. Bron and I watched as she fed him. It was a touching mment watching her with Finnick's son. My heart ached at the scene before me. I missed Finnick. Heaven knew how I would have reacted if anything had happened to Katniss. I wasn't as strong as Annie. I couldn't live in a world without her.

"You want to feed him, Bron. You'll need the practice once you and Delly get married and have babies of your own."

Bron gasped in fright. "Annie, I just got engaged. We haven't even talked about babies yet. Let alone set a date for the wedding." She laughed at him. "I'm going to patrol around the property and relieve one of the guys. Call me when the girls get back, would you Peet?" I nodded my head as my eyes were transfixed on baby Fin.

"He's a beautiful baby, Annie." I admired Fin with his wavy red hair and light skin. He was the miniature image of Finnick but with Annie's coloring. "I don't know how you do it. Raising him on your own."

"Not that I had a choice, Peeta," she said, her face sad as her eyes turned misty. "Finnick may be gone but he's alive in Fin. I'll never regret the time I had with him. Imagine my joy when I found out I was pregnant. It was as if he was sending me his last gift to me."

"I wish…" I stopped myself. There's a prickly feeling on the back of my neck. I'm anxious and nervous. I just wanted Katniss and the girls to come soon.

"Are you all right, Peeta? Something wrong?" she inquired. I rubbed the back of my neck and smiled.

"I'll feel better once the girls are home," I stated as I worked the dough between my hands. Preparing the bread was a good distraction. Too bad, it wasn't enough to relieve my anxiety.

"I'm really happy for you, Peeta," she said as she continued to feed Fin. "I'm glad that you took the chance with Katniss. I was afraid after our talk a few weeks back that you'd change your mind."

"Talking to you helped." I recalled the hours we spoke. It relieved and opened my heart to giving us a chance. I remember our conversation word for word that stood out in my mind.

"_Every moment I spent with Finnick was worth it. I wouldn't change our friendship; his kindness and patience when I came back from the arena. I didn't fall in love with him at first sight. He grew on me. Like I did with him. Then the next moment it clicked like it was supposed to happen. We were meant to happen. I never regretted one moment after that. This also applies with you and Katniss. You have loved her most of your life but it took longer with her to realize that what she felt for you was love. Don't punish her for not recognizing it. It was there and it has always been there."_

I didn't resent Katniss for not loving me at first like I did. What I held on begrudgingly was her denial and avoidance. She felt and knew the connection between us. She refused to acknowledge it. We wasted precious time. I had to let go of that bitterness if I wanted to have a relationship with her.

"_It takes courage and strength of character to forgive, Peeta. Once you let go, you'll be surprised how much burden will lift from your shoulders… and your heart."_

I never forgot those words. I hoped to live by them. Annie could have lived a life of anger and bitterness for losing Finnick during the rebellion. She took the higher road. If only my life was simpler and drama free. For now I just wanted her to come home, to come home to me.

"You seemed to be doing well together," she teased as she reached out to touch a red spot on my neck. I evaded her.

"I have to touch it sometimes, you know," I said as I felt for the contusion. I enjoyed receiving them as much as Katniss enjoyed giving them to me. I marked her as she marked me. It was a mutual but unspoken ownership of each other. The first time she bit me I flinched and shook the image of Eva's face invading me. "Sometime when I'm alone I have to remind myself that she's real and that she wants me…loves _me_."

"Of course she loves you, we all knew that even if she didn't," she cackled. Annie continued feeding Fin and adjusted him in her arms.

"I don't understand how she can love me now," I sighed. I wasn't looking for a pity party but it felt like it just the same. "Why couldn't she love me before I was hijacked and…" I trailed off. My anxiety and insecurities during our times together I hid from her. I concentrated on her pleasure, galvanizing my own in my mind. I didn't want to disappoint her as a lover. I was already disappointed in myself as I predict that I will upset Katniss with my inability to share the physical aspects of love. Having sex triggered my time with Eva. It was harsh, brutal and painful. I couldn't separate the overwhelming and horrifying feeling when Katniss touched me the same way Eva did. How was that conducive to healthy relationship? How can I commit to Katniss if I can't be with her the way I want to? Will Eva haunt me forever?

"Does it really matter now?" Annie asked. "I know what you've been through, Johanna and I, we were there. We survived it. What happened to you with Eva I cannot bear to think of it. I'm sorry Peeta. You're first sexual experience with your partner should have been memorable, positive and mutual."

"What she did, twisted me. It's bad enough that I'm afraid that I'll hurt Katniss with my episodes, but to add my other trauma…I'm really scared I'll finally snap."

"I was five years younger than Finnick when I was reaped, ," she told me. "I was scared, fragile and knew that my chance for survival was low. I hadn't expected to win. I lost my mind after winning the games. When I came home, I was mentally unstable and weak. I didn't realize until years later that Finnick had been protecting me. That he saved me…from Snow. He made a deal that he would continue to perform for the Capitolites in exchange that I was to be left alone. He didn't love me then, he just cared for me. I was broken by mind and spirit and Finnick still loved me even at my worst. How can I not love him back?"

Baby Fin whimpered signaling that he was finished feeding. "I'm sorry Annie." She placed the bottle down and comforted him.

"I wouldn't trade a single moment, the times we shared however short they were. I don't regret loving him. Maybe Katniss feels the same way. It just happened this way." I pondered at her observation. Katniss loved me despite the danger to her life; she loved me in spite of it.

"Peet, just one more thing. I told you once that forgiveness was necessary to garner a healthy relationship," she said. "You need to do one more thing for yourself to move forward." I raised my brows in curiosity.

"And what's that?" I inquired.

"You've forgiven Katniss for the wrongs she did you. The best part of you is your ability to be open to forgiveness of others. Your greatest challenge is for you is to forgive yourself." She stunned me. I never revealed the shame and guilt I harbored. It was a secret I would take to the grave. But somehow, fragile Annie knew my secret. She understood. Fin once again whimpered as her attention diverted to our conversation. He needed his mother.

"I didn't meant to bring this up with you holding Fin. I know he's a baby but we shouldn't be talking about this with him around. I feel like I tainted him."

"Nonsense, he's a big and strong boy like his daddy," Annie cooed at her son. "The fact that we can talk about it is a miracle. He is my miracle." She lifted him higher in her arms. "Take him, Peeta," I didn't resist. He was beautiful and perfect.

"Look at him. What you're holding is not just Finnick O'Dair's son. He is the future of Panem. He will never know subjugation, experience Reaping Day and be in the mercy of Snow. He is not the son of two former Victors. He is the creation of a man and woman who fell in love despite the odds and brought him into a new world, a new life. Finnick died so his son can live free and happy. He is my reason for living. What about you, Peeta? You're a survivor, what do you have to live for?"

I looked down to Finley Cresta-O'Dair. His big green eyes stared back at me. He will be raised to be like his father. His memory and his life will never be forgotten. Peeta Mellark of District 12 wasn't afraid to die twice for Katniss Everdeen. He is who I strived to become again. Katniss deserved him and I endeavor to give him to her if that's whom she wanted.

"There's something I want to give you before you leave," she said as walked out of the room and entered her bedroom. A minute later, she walked in with a bag in her hand. She placed it on the table then took Fin from my arms. "I was going to send this for your birthday, but since you're here I want to give it to you now." I looked in and smiled. Somehow, she knew was what I needed to move forward. I lost so much after the fire; I didn't think I could go back and retrieve what I lost. She was giving me a new beginning. She had given me a drawing pad and pencil; the one thing I loved besides baking and Katniss. "Thank you Annie. You always seem to know what to say and do for me."

"You're welcome," she replied back. "I'll never forget, Peeta. I'll never forget what you did for Johanna and me at the Capitol. Next to Finnick you're the best man I have ever known. And if Finnick was alive, he'd agree with me." It was the highest and most meaningful compliment she ever paid me.

Timing, it's all about timing I realized as the hover car with the girls returned just in time for supper. Dinner was ready and I was anxious. The time I spent with Annie distracted and calmed me for a bit. Her words resonated in my mind for there was wisdom behind them. Afterwards, she entertained me with stories of her relationship with Finnick. We cried and laughed in his memory. The antics, the love and times she spent with him. My heart felt lighter and not as weary.

There were still things that are unsettled between us. Things I needed to say to Katniss. My courage evaded me each time she's in my presence. I covet the time we have. I'm in awe and in fear of her for she held my heart now.

Hours later, the girls piled out of the car with bags in their hands. Katniss looked happy as she walked towards the house. "They're finally home," I sighed in relief. I didn't care; I stopped drawing, hid the pad in the bag and ran out of the house. Annie's laughter echoed in the air at my reaction and my eagerness to have Katniss coming home to me. Today felt like it was my birthday.

"Omph, Peeta!" Katniss shrieked as I grabbed her, bags still in her hand. I lifted her off the ground and swung her around. "Put me down, you're making me dizzy," she squealed. "What wrong Pee.." I smashed her lips to mine ignoring everyone. Delly giggled while Johanna mocked vomiting as she inserted a finger in her mouth. I held Katniss tight that she dropped the bags in her and clutched onto my arms. She returned my greeting with equal vigor. My response was to suck her tongue in my mouth eliciting a low moan from my quivering girlfriend.

"You two need a room," Johanna snickered. "Or do I need to hose you down?"

"Leave them alone. You're just jealous," Delly quipped. "I'm taking notes." I can hear the cheering in the background as I recognized the guys whistling and hollering.

"Hi," I greeted Katniss, laying my forehead against hers when the need to breath was necessary.

"Hi," she answered back panting. "That was some welcome. I like it a lot," she whispered the last sentence in my ear.

"I missed you," I pouted.

"I couldn't tell," she teased back. "Not that I'm complaining but is everything okay?" She looked around us. We had an audience as everyone from the Guardsmen to the girls surrounded us, cheering and laughing.

"I'm happy that you're home. Everything is perfect," I confirmed. Feeling elated I hugged Delly and Johanna both startling them with a yelp as a response. They greeted me back with the same enthusiasm.

"Hey, you got you your own girl Mellark," Bron threatened me in his teasing manner by grabbing Delly away from me. He hugged her tight and kissed her. I laughed and kissed Johanna cheek.

"Hey, no kissing other girls in front of me," Katniss teased me as she pulled me away.

I challenged back. "So does that mean I can kiss other girls behind your back?"

"You better not entertain that idea with any girl if you know what's good for you," she threatened me; her gray eyes darted into mine. There was a possessive look in her eyes.

"Sorry, but I have a girl back home besides you, Katniss," I said. "You better be nice to me since she can steal me away from you."

She gasped for moment, her mind recalling the 'other girl' in my life. "Humph, she's too young for you. Besides, she wants you to be her daddy." She reminded me.

I grabbed the bags on the ground and wrapped my arms around her waist leading her inside Annie's house. Annie winked at me as we passed her by.

* * *

**Katniss POV – **

I don't know what's gotten into Peeta. I loved his welcome home gesture. It was a side I have never seen before. All night he couldn't keep his hands off me. Whether he placed a hand on the small of my back, a touch on my arms or our hands clasped underneath the dinner table. At one point during dinner, he placed a hand on my right thigh nestling his fingers between my legs. I gasped in surprise and arousal. I was wet in an instant. He was trying to kill me. Ever since of my talk with Kara, I left with a new purpose and drive. Our conversation helped me gain a new understanding of Peeta's 'dilemma.' With much patience and care, I would help him heal from his trauma with Eva. However, it didn't help with Peeta's hand wedged between my legs as I promised to let him lead the pace of our physical relationship. I remembered Kara's words of advise.

"_Remember Katniss, you need to let him lead you to what he's comfortable with. Look at his eyes, listen to this breathing. By now, you should be able to tell whether he's responding from pain or from pleasure. Take your time with him. Be patient. Don't startle him or be forceful. Be gentle."_

I wanted to jump him now as the ache in my center intensified with want. I moaned in frustration and pleasure.

"I know, Katniss. Peeta's really amazing. That as orgasmic," Delly moaned as she placed her fork on her plate. _'Huh, was I that obvious?'_ I blushed bright red; I knew I did. Peeta's hand remains lodged between my legs during dessert. I tried to pry it off but he was strong and persistent. He had a smug look on his handsome face. Too bad I couldn't return the favor. "The dessert was to die for. I want another piece." Delly continued as she scoop another portion on her bowl.

I sighed in relief. Though I must admit that his new creation was decadent and delicious, I wanted another kind of Peeta dessert. One I fantasized for weeks. A loud knocking on the front door interrupted my daydream. Bron stood up alerted from is seat and armed himself with his rifle, which was never far from his reach. Johanna reached down to her left thigh realizing that her knife wasn't present. She picked up a dinner knife and tucked it into her waist covering it with her shirt.

"Annie, you weren't expecting company, were you?" Johanna inquired. Annie shook her head and headed towards her room to fetch Fin who slept through dinner.

Johanna approached the door with Bron right behind her. She swung it open startling the intruder. It was a delivery guy holding a long rectangular box. Peeta gasped besides me as I gripped his hand. The box was long, rectangular in shape like a box used to deliver flowers; long stemmed roses for example. "What the fuck?" Johanna exclaimed. "Who's the box for?"

"It's addressed to Peeta Mellark," he announced as he read the label on the box. I inhaled as a chill traveled down my back. I felt Peeta tense besides me.

"Give that to me," Johanna said as she grabbed the box and shut the door on his face. "Peeta?" He remained stock still and a quiet, eyeing the box as if he was hypnotized.

I walked over and took the box from her hands. I placed it on a coffee table. Peeta sat down and faced the box staring at it for a few seconds. He lifted the cover slow and deliberate. The top was covered with a white tissue hiding the contents. He peered underneath the paper. A seconds later, Peeta laughed. He slumped to the back of the couch and held his stomach. I looked inside the box and smiled.

"What's so damn funny?" Johanna said not amused at the suspense. Peeta reached in and held a leg, a prosthetic leg to be exact.

"It's must be from Beetee," he said as relief appeared on his face. I reached down and handed him a note. _'Peeta, sorry this was late. I reconfigured the sealer components to withstand longer hours of exposure to water as in case you wanted to go swimming. Like in District 4. Give my regards to everyone. See you at the Capitol. I can't wait for your leg refitting. I think you'll be pleased. Beetee.'_

A sigh of relief was heard and felt throughout the room. "I guess you won't be helping Peeta in the shower anymore," Delly snickered.

"The hell I won't," I said so fast I didn't even realize I said out loud. Leg or no leg I wasn't about to skip sharing shower time with him. We enjoyed it too much.

"For a moment I thought it was from…" he trailed off. He held onto the fake leg weighing it in his hands. Thank god they weren't roses. I didn't want her memory to mar our evening. It was almost perfect.

"I know, honey. I know," I concluded as I wrapped my arm around his waist. We stayed for an hour conversing and enjoying each other's company. After dinner, we took a slow walk along the beach with only the sand beneath our feet, the moon above and the Guardsmen trailing behind us. It was far from romantic but the walk we enjoyed just the same. Throughout the evening I formulated my plan to seduce my boyfriend. I just hope that I don't set us back in my attempt love him like I want to.

So I wasn't offended when he asked me if he could shower alone. He attached his new leg and walked into the bathroom like a proud owner of a new hovercar. He needed his independence even though showering together was a luxury we enjoyed. Besides, I had plans of my own.

When he was finished, he wore a pair of long pajamas to my dismay. He was drying his blonde wet hair with a towel on one hand while he held onto his dirty clothes with the other. He placed them inside his dirty clothes bag. My boyfriend is a neat freak. I stared at my newly showered and wonderful smelling lover. "Your turn." He said as he folded his towel and placed it over a chair to dry. Like I said neat freak.

I stood up and pecked his lips as I passed him. "You smell really good," I complimented him. "You better lose the pajamas and the leg before I'm done." I demanded of him.

I showered with purpose as I lathered my skin with the scent of Vanilla Jasmine, a fragrance that promised to enhance as well as seduce your senses. It did wonders to my body as we shopped for hours preparing me for this evening, a night I hoped we both wouldn't forget. I was tired and felt dirty from our shopping trip. The shower reinvigorated me. Delly and Johanna were very encouraging in my plans. They made suggestions and helpful tips much to my embarrassment. I thought of Prim and missed her presence. She would have been very proud of me.

I brushed and dried my hair then wore the same sleeping attire to not alarm or alert Peeta of my intentions. After brushing my teeth ensuring my breath was minty fresh, I took a deep breath and walked out the bathroom. I didn't walk in all coy and seductive, I couldn't pull that off. I caught Peeta's attention without the wiles and charms most girls used to snare their boyfriends. He wanted me without them.

Peeta was on the bed with his head down and his knees bent. The lamp besides him illuminated his bare chest, as he wore no shirt to bed per my request. His blond curls were in disarray and flopped over his forehead. He was biting his lower lip as he concentrated on something lying on his lap. He was drawing. There was a pad on his lap as his fingers worked with a drawing pencil. He looked and tucked the pad beneath the sheet once he noticed my appearance.

"Hey, there beautiful," he said with awe and adoration in his expressive eyes.

My heart lurched and my breath hitched in my throat at the mere sight of him. Peeta is romantic by nature. He didn't have to ply me with flowers or overly dramatic gestures of his devotion. He was subtle, simple and thoughtful. His words seduced me; it was all I needed.

"Hey," I whispered as I walked to my side of the bed. I loved that I have a side to our bed whether we were in District12 or the train. "What are you doing?" I sat next to him as I slipped beneath the sheet.

"You caught me," he said as his cheeks turned pink. "I was drawing."

"Oh, can I see?" My curiosity piqued. He shook his head. "Why not? Is it a naked drawing of me," I teased him. His cheeks blushed bright red. "Peeta?"

"I'm sorry," he said. _'Should I be angry or embarrassed?'_ I thought to myself. He is my boyfriend. He is an artist so I shouldn't be offended that he would draw me that way.

"Let me see," I demanded. He lifted the pad underneath the sheet and handed it to me. I gasped in surprised as the drawing revealed me naked like the day I was born lying on the bed, my hair splayed on a pillow. I'm asleep resting on my back with the sheet covering my center while revealing the rest of my legs. It was beautiful and erotic. He didn't erase the scars and blemishes on my body, but made me beautiful nonetheless. What surprised me the most was that he drew an image of us sleeping together. He lay on his stomach, our heads facing each other as our hands clutched tight on my stomach. It was detailed and real as if his mind captured a picture of an intimate moment.

"I know it's not very good," he said. I balked at his comment.

"Peeta, it's beautiful. You made us beautiful," I retorted. How can he not see that?

"You're beautiful. It's how I see you." He gave me a sad smile. "Me, not so much."

"Stop saying that." I sat up and took his hand. "You are handsome, kind and generous."

"And underweight, peg leg and crazy and more likely to kill you in my episodes." He added the list of his insecurities. His words echoed my mother's fear. I pulled him to me. He didn't resist or struggle as he held onto me.

"I see you, Peeta," I stated in his ear. "All of you the good, the bad but mostly the lovable. I fought hard not to love you. You scared me. You still scare me." He smiled as he took my hands. "What we have together, whether distance or things that separated us, we always will find each other. That's how we work."

"I don't want to make you unhappy or disappoint you," he admitted.

"I feel the same," I confessed. "We can go around in circles telling each other our fears. I don't care how many times. You and I." I pointed to him and me. "We were meant to happen despite all the odds." I don't know how much I can convince him. This wasn't what I had in mind for our night together. He looked uncertain and sad. What happened to change his mood so quickly? Playful, teasing and charming Peeta disappeared. Oh, the near scare of the delivery happened. He thought it was from Eva who was still at large. Then an idea formulated in my mind.

I removed my tank top revealing my bare chest and pert nipples. "Move up," I instructed him as I placed myself behind him. My arms latched around his waist as if on Auto Pilot. "Lean on me," I whispered in his ear. I was tempted to bit his lobe but he still wore the earrings Eva clipped on him. Unfortunately, he couldn't remove it without hurting his lobes. It had to be lasered off in the Capitol. It was another reason why Peeta was adamant to visiting Dr. Aurelius. He leaned back and sighed.

"You smell really good," he complimented me as he settled on my chest. I tucked my head on his shoulder. "Hmm." I wiggled against him pushing my hard nipples on his back.

"Peeta?"

"Yeah."

"When did you realize you loved me? I know you said you fell for me at 5, but that's not realistic. I mean who falls in love at five years old," I quipped. He remained silent for a few seconds. I feared that he was angry with me. My suspicion was validated when he pulled away from me.

"You don't believe me; that doesn't surprise me," he sighed as he rubbed his temple.

"Peeta."

"You must really think I'm an idiot or a fool to say I fell for you when I was five." He remains seated but not touching. A divide grew between us so fast my head spun. "I loved you since I was five. I've been in love with you since I was thirteen when I realized what the meaning of 'falling in love' meant."

"Peeta I didn't' mean to demean or question of what you said." I tried to explain. As usual words failed me. I leaned back on the headboard. My arms felt bereft.

"Tell me Katniss, don't answer me until you understand what I'm about to ask you," he whispered as he stared across the room. "When did you realize that you loved me and when was the moment you realized that you were in love with me?" There was no anger or bitterness in his tone, only resignation. I thought of his question. It was one and the same to me. Then as if lightning struck me, I figured what he meant. I love Gale not the same way I love Peeta. I loved Peeta but didn't acknowledge the emotion. Why would I sacrifice my life for his during the Quarter Quell? I volunteered for Prim because she was whom I loved most in the world. I begged Haymitch to volunteer for Peeta during the 75th Hunger Games. If that wasn't love, what was it? He snuck up on me like Finnick did with Annie. I was falling in love with him. I didn't realize I was in love with him until I lost him at the beach.

"Love has no time limit, or schedule or length. It cannot be forced, manipulated or faked. It's there or it isn't." He loved me since he was five. It didn't matter how old he was since the emotion was real. "I've loved you since I was five and I've been in love with for so long I cannot even remember when I didn't." He paused; his shoulders slumped. 'I love you, Katniss Everdeen. I was lost once I saw the little girl who sang the Valley Song. I threw bread at her when she was wet and starving. I longed for her as grew from an awkward young girl to a strong brave hunter. I loved the Girl on Fire who transformed into the MockingJay. I loved you through madness and fear. I just…love you then, now and I will tomorrow."

My throat tightened, my mouth dry. His words paralyzed me, soothed my shattered soul and sent my heart aflutter. I knew he loved me but he never said in so many words. It was implied in the way he looked at me and the way he held me. I didn't realize that I was starved for the words. I sobbed in joy as tears trailed down my cheeks. "I love you," he said emphasizing each word, his breath was hitched and short as if he had difficult time breathing.

He turned his head and kissed me. It wasn't passionate or needy but chaste and sweet like sealing a promise or an oath. "I love you too," I returned. "I want you Peeta."

'You have me. All of me." I didn't, really. Some parts of himself he still kept from me.

"Peeta?"

"Yes," he said as he settled back to my chest.

I licked his ear. "Tell me your fantasies. You once told me that you dreamt making love to me. I know you're not ready but I want to know what you fantasized about," I asked as he leaned back into my chest, our hands clutched together on his lower belly. He was quiet for a few seconds. I thought I crossed another line upsetting him again.

He chuckled deep and low. "I had so many Katniss. I wouldn't know where to begin." He laid his head against my shoulder. I squeezed him tight as a moment of possessiveness and longing took over. Holding him wasn't enough. I needed him to consume me in mind and in spirit. With him, I l felt safe and well-loved.

"Then just tell me one that sticks out of your mind," I suggested. This dirty talk was new to me. It felt right talking to him since Kara suggested it. That to ease his mind from tensions and memories I had to keep him present. My voice was his lifeline to reality. "Show me."

"I don't know if I can…" He became sad and upset.

"I'm not going to do anything you don't want me to," I reassured. "Show me what you fantasized when we're together. Tell me." His body stiffened. I knew not to pressure him but I had to at least break one barrier; his memories of Eva hurting him during his abduction.

"_He's been abused sexually. His first sex experience was traumatic and forced. Peeta is a romantic. He probably fantasized his first sexual experience with you. The one person he's loved all his life. Show him that having sex with Eva is not the same as making love with you."_

It's true that I never thought of love or sex for that matter. I grew older never wishing or wanting it. But since Peeta was the catalyst to my awakening of love and sex, he was the only lover in my mind was. It would only be him. He needed to know that I would never hurt him the way Eva did.

"You touched me other a lot," he started. "You're hands were always so gentle. I stared it a lot when we were at the games. Wondering how it would feel when you…"

"Show me," I said as I took his hands and directed it to his boxer short underneath the bed sheet.

"I can't, Katniss, I can't…"

"Shh, show me what you imagined my hands would do to you. I won't touch you. I want to see what you did to yourself to make you come," I whispered in his ear, husky and low. He shivered. Like a moth to a flame, his hands reached inside his shorts. "Nuh, huh, don't hide from me. Take off your shorts." He lifted his hips and drew his boxers off his waist while I removed the bed sheet. He was still unaffected, as his cock lay limp. I took his right hand and kissed it. "See this hand. This hand brought me great pleasure. It knows every inch of body. I love your hands, Peeta. You have never touched me in anger or when you had an episode. You have always been cautious, gentle and sweet." I licked the inside of his palm wetting it with my saliva. "Now, pretend that's my hand and show me what I did to make you come." I was delirious with need imagining his hands between my legs pleasuring me, but this isn't about me.

"I can't, Katniss. She…she would…"

Kara's voice echoed in my head as Peeta grew distraught. _"Remind him who's in bed with him, remind him whose hands are touching him. Keep talking so he can latch onto your voice and not the voices in his head. Remind him who loves him._

"She is not here. I am. I'm here because I love you. It's me Katniss the one who love you so much. _She_ is not here with us," I repeated as I lowered my head to his shoulder. "I love you, Peeta."

"I love you too Katniss," he returned as his body relaxed.

"So show me what I did with my hand in your fantasies."

Hesitant but resistant to my command, he took his cock and wrapped his fingers around it. He was trembling. "You feel warm and solid. You're skin is so soft and smooth. I've never done this before. Show me how to make you come hard for me." He rubbed his hands up and down his cock in slow and deliberate measure. His breath became uneven as he strained to breathe through his mouth. Our left hands clasped onto top of his stomach to steady him as I placed my right over his heart. It beat so hard I felt it underneath my fingers.

Seconds later, I felt him stiffen and I knew he was having a panic attack as his cock still wasn't hard in his hand. I head him sob as tears brimmed his eyes. He was frustrated and embarrassed.

"I love you, Peeta," I reminded him as I kissed his cheek rubbing my lips against his soaked skin. "When you touch me I come so hard I see stars. I have never felt anything so good not even my own hand." He gasped.

"You know where to touch me and make me quiver in need and lust. I want you so bad; I ache for you all over. I get wet so fast that I have to have you right away. So sometimes I imagine that it's your hand or mouth on my pussy."

His right hand gripped his cock tight as he begins to lengthen.

"I feel and ache for you all the time. I just need to hear your voice sometimes and I have to relieve the tension between my legs. I can't get enough of you. It's only been you. I only want you to make me come." He rubbed his harden cock as he bit his lower lip. There was a look of joy and surprise on his face.

I smile to myself. "It's ridiculous how much I want you to touch me all the time. The way you pinch and tease my nipples with your mouth. I'm getting wet thinking about it." My panties were drenched with need but I ignored it.

"Shit, Katniss," he yelped as he rubbed his now erect cock in his hand. His back arch that I missed the contact of his skin on my hard nipples. His face was beaded with sweat and tears that I licked his cheek.

"You know what I else I love besides your very skillful hands. Your mouth. I love the kisses you give me. I love how you sometimes bite my lower lip teasing me to open my mouth wider so you can suck my tongue into your mouth. I love the taste of you." He was rubbing hard and angling his hand on his cock that it grew in girth and length. He kept rubbing up and down, fast and slow.

"Fuck," he said, his mouth opened as he gasped in pleasure. "Katniss."

"Yeah, you fuck me with your mouth so good I scream so loud that my lungs ache," I told him. "Keep going Peeta. Imagine my hand and mouth on your big beautiful cock. You're going to come for me and only me." My desire for him intensified. I rubbed his stomach. I was so tempted to reach out and take over but resisted. He was deep in concentration for several minutes as we watched him pleasure himself. It was an erotic sight. No doubt he will want the gesture in return. I cataloged and memorized each move he made and sound that escaped his mouth.

"Katniss," he chanted, as his grip grew frantic.

"What is it you want, baby," I said as I continued to hold on tight and whisper in his ear.

"Katniss," repeated his mantra over and over

"Yes, it's me here in our bed," I stated.

"Katniss, I'm going to come."

"I want to see it Peeta," I insisted as my eyes were glued to his erect cock. It was red and hard from his exertion. "Come for me, Peeta. I want you to come so hard that you'll never forget who shares your bed. I want you to always remember who loves you more than anyone in this world. That you will remember that it's me that made you come so hard you'll forget everyone and everything."

His hands rubbed up and down his cock in a frantic state that his hips lifted from the bed. I held him tight watching him, mesmerized and aroused. Seconds later he stiffened and yelled. "Fuck, Katniss." I laughed in glee. My charming and polite boyfriend has a potty mouth in bed. He lay against me, breathing hard and fast as he trembled from his orgasm. "I think you killed me," he wheezed between breaths.

"I hope not," I said with a big smile on my face and laughed. I rubbed by cheek against his. "I enjoyed watching you come." I tugged him close with my hands around his waist. He was still trembling.

"I've never felt anything like that before," he panted through his nose.

"Never?" His erection subsided to my dismay.

"Not ever," he said. I mentally patted myself on the back for achieving my goal; to make him come thinking about me and not her. He wasn't broken because of her and that what we did together was based on pleasure and love. Hopefully, in the near future she will just be a bad memory to be forgotten.

"You were magnificent," I complimented him. "We're going to do it again when you've recovered." He sat up and got onto his knees so fast that it startled me.

"No," he said, his voice firm. Peeta balanced on his one good leg.

"Take this off." He pointed at my drenched panties. Mesmerized by the tenor of voice and predatory look in his crystal blue eyes, I eased it off my body making sure he saw my arousal. I'm open and exposed to him realistically and figuratively.

He reached over and pulled me down yanking by the legs so I was lying on my back. His face hovered close to mine as he stared into my eyes. His blue orbs grew dark as I watched him bit his lower. "It's my turn to watch." He punctuated each word while his tongue traveled down my chest to my belly.

I gasped when his tongue circled my belly button. "I didn't do this so you can owe me." With gentle hands he lifted both my legs onto his shoulders kissing my thighs.

"I know that. That is not who you are," He said as he messaged my inner thighs with his mouth and lips. "That is not who we are." His eyes were riveted to my soaking pussy. "But if you think that I'm not going to thank you for giving me the best orgasm in my life, then you don't know me at all." I screamed loud when he latched his mouth on my opening without so much of a warning. I came so fast that it surprised me but then again my foreplay was watching him come undone. It didn't take very long when he had me screaming all over again.

He spent the rest of the evening marking his territory all over my skin. It was a night I'll never forget. I knew that he loved me and he finally said it. It was enough for now.

Hours later as I watched him sleep, I hope that I have achieved one goal tonight. I hope that Peeta realized that what we experienced together was based on mutual love and lust, that my touch would never hurt him. My touch wasn't motivated to inflict pain but only pleasure. I knew that this was just the first step to his recovery. His trauma wouldn't heal or be cured overnight. But this was a good start for the both of us.

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_**AN: Whew, that was a bit more difficult than I expected. Hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. Thank you for staying with me and hanging on. Please review at your leisure for they are greatly appreciated. Have a great rest of the week and Happy Fourth of July to my American readers. No offense to the Brits, I hope. Thanks again.**_


	34. Chapter 34 - Reopening Wounds and Scars

Chapter 34 – Reopening Old Wounds and New Scars

_AN: Many thanks to Aqua Rules, Trude, Tea4e, betazoid4, LACR, everlasting1286, District12Divergent and guest for your reviews and comments for the last chapter. I'm always appreciative for making the effort and time to write them. I hope you enjoy the next chapter._

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**Haymitch POV – **

After arriving at the Capitol with Effie I had made arrangements to secure everyone's safety, which also meant Johanna, Bron, Effie and Delly. They have become important people in my life. Who knew how my life changed after the rebellion? I had assumed that my life would evolve taking care of Peeta and Katniss when they returned from the war. I owed them that. Effie, Delly, Johanna and Bron were a complete surprise; a most welcomed one. I had led a selfish and indulgent life of excess. I didn't care for anyone but for my own survival. I now have family, a group of young adults who looked up to me and cared for me. I couldn't let them down when I had disappointed both Peeta and Katniss. I have people to live for.

My trip to District 4 was fast. The hovercraft arrived early one bright morning. I hadn't given anyone notice of my arrival. So when I knocked on Annie's door, I was overwhelmed by their greetings.

"Haymitch," Delly hugged me and screamed into my ear. Her high-pitched voice almost shattered my eardrums. I felt at home. Johanna punched my arm in greeting. It hurt but I didn't flinch. I didn't want to admit that a scrawny girl like her could bruise me, which she did as I later on discovered. Annie smiled. "Why didn't you tell us you were coming?" Delly pulled my hand and dragged me further inside the house. "Guess who's here guys." Bron stood and shook my hand.

"Hey, Haymitch." Bron and Annie spoke together. They were in the middle of breakfast.

"Hey, Abernathy," Johanna greeted me with a warm hug after her violent greeting. "It's good to see you." She looked up with concern etched on her face. She wore a pair of black sleep shorts and tank top. They looked well rested. They all did. Their skin was flush and slightly tanned. "Is everything okay? I thought we were meeting you at the Capitol."

"Change of plans. Where are Peeta and Katniss?" I asked. My concern ratcheted a few notches as I noticed their absence. "I need to talk to them."

"Not a good idea to disrupt them at the moment," Delly smirked at me. "They're sleeping in, I guess. They had a _long_ night." She giggled while Johanna smiled.

"Everything okay?"

"Oh, everything is perfect," Johanna added. "They'll be here when they come up for air." Her comment only made me more curious. I was about to turn when she grabbed my arm. "Don't go over there unless you're ready for an eyeful.' _'Huh.'_

"I don't understand," I said as my curiosity piqued.

"A lot has happened since our stay. Just trust us and let them come over when they're ready." Johanna stated. "Have some coffee and Cheese Buns." I looked at the table to find a variety of dishes served; bacon, eggs, fruit, coffee and fresh Cheese Buns. I was eager to leave the Capitol that I forgone having breakfast grabbing fruit on the way out.

"I thought you said that they're asleep. When did Peeta make the Cheese Buns?" I asked as I sat down and grabbed a plate while Annie served me coffee.

"He was here bright and early to surprise Katniss. Then went back to serve her _breakfast._ Alone." Annie provided. I shrugged my head and proceeded to eat. Damn Peeta and his Cheese Buns. I missed them. He was at fault for my new waistline. During my wait for my 'kids,' Johanna filled me in of the events that had passed while I stayed at the Capitol.

"So nothing happened much. That's a relief," I said as I sighed in gratitude.

"Oh, I wouldn't say that," Delly snickered. Just at that moment Peeta and Katniss walked through the door. He held her hand as they walked in. They looked calm and at peace. Their cheeks were rosy red. Peeta looked as though he gained some weight as Katniss appeared with a big smile on her face.

"Haymitch," she cried as she hugged me.

"Whoa there, there sweetheart," I said as I balanced us from stumbling over from her impact. It was a reaction I had never expected.

"Haymitch," Peeta spoke as he joined our hug. "It's so good to see you. I thought we were meeting you at the Capitol." They both released me.

"New plans. There's something I need to talk to you before we get there," I said. "But can it wait until breakfast." I sat down and buttered a biscuit. "I left without having breakfast this morning." As I was about to take a bite from my biscuit, a shrill voice filled the air.

"Katniss. You look wonderful," Delly screamed "Girl talk right now." She grabbed her by the arm as Johanna and Annie trailed behind them. Katniss' horrified eyes met Peeta's as she was dragged away. His eyes were wide open as Bron patted him on the back.

"Where are they going with Katniss?"

"Don't mind them they'll be in the next room. I wouldn't want to be there I if were you." Bron answered.

"What the hell was that about?" I asked. "Damnit I almost choked myself." I coughed and sputtered taking deep breaths.

Bron winked at Peeta who blushed a deep bright red on both his cheeks. "Never mind, I don't want to know," I scoffed. Laughter and giggles echoed from the other room. Peeta shrugged his shoulders while Bron continued to tease him. Half an hour later, all four girls appeared with Delly leading them.

"Get your bathing suits on. We're having a picnic," she announced. The girls scattered and moved with purpose as Delly prepared food while Johanna collected blankets, towels and beach chairs. It was a whirlwind of activity.

"Just a second, I need to talk to guys about the trip to the Capitol," I said.

"Annie, do you have any more sun block?" Johanna asked.

"Check the bathroom," Annie's voice answered from her bedroom as she prepared baby Fin for the picnic.

"I need to get my leg," Peeta said as he stood up. "I hope my swim trunks are dry."

"We'll be right back," Katniss added as she took his hand and left the house. I stood with my mouth opened.

"What just happened?" I asked Bron. He answered with a smirk. "I'm not going out there. I'm too old to be sunbathing with you youngsters."

"Get a move on. We don't have all day," Delly instructed. "A day at the beach won't kill you. You could use some sun, old man." She picked up my bag and threw it at me. "Put on some swimwear, you're not going out like that." She took note of my grey shirt, dark gray pants and black boots. "I swear you look like you still live in District 13. Johanna, where did I put my bathing suit?" she yelled as she left the room.

"I wouldn't argue or attempt to stop them," Bron answered. "My life has been much happier and less frustrating when I don't contradict Delly when she gets like that."

One hour later, my skin was warm to touch as the sun beat overhead. I wore a hat and sunglasses to cover my face. Delly proceeded to lather the rest of me with sun block much to Bron's chagrin. "I'm a nurse, Bron. I'm only covering him with lotion to places he can't reach. I've seen men naked before." Bron harrumphed. It was a good thing that Katniss was not involved in that conversation. They appeared ten minutes later, Katniss wore a simple dark blue one piece as Peeta trailed behind her holding two towels and a couple of beach chairs. He had a big smile on his face while he sported a pair of dark sunglasses. He wore a pair of bright orange trunks with no shirt revealing small red spots around his neck. _'Oh, the two lovebirds had been busy.'_ I thought to myself. Delly and Johanna teased Katniss nonstop for the new contusions on his pale skin.

With a bottle of cold water on one hand, I watched as Katniss teach Peeta how to swim. He clung onto her for a few seconds as she led him to deeper waters. He wore his new leg while wearing a bright orange board shorts. Every few seconds, she would kiss him as a reward when he succeeded in accomplishing her instructions. It was quite a good motivator. They looked happy. It didn't take her long teaching him to float on his back.

"You're doing great Peeta," Katniss complimented him. "It was good timing when Beetee sent you that waterproof leg."

"Remind me to thank him when I see him at the Capitol," Peeta reminded her.

Annie sat with baby Fin on a blanket. Bron stood watch in a tank top and shorts. He looked funny holding a rifle with his sunglasses on and his beach attire. He walked the perimeter staying close by the group.

"Thanks for letting Peeta and everyone stay with you, Annie," I said with much gratitude as I watched Katniss hold Peeta upright in the water. They were laughing and screaming as Johanna surfaced below them. I never thought I would ever see that look on their faces. All three Victors acted as if they didn't have a care in the world. I was okay with that since I didn't exactly have great new to give them. I gave them today before I shattered their world. Or at least Peeta and Katniss' world. To my surprise Johanna was not reacting to the water around her. I was puzzled.

"She's okay around water," Annie's voice disrupted my thoughts as if she read my mind. I looked at her. She stared at them while he played with Fin's feet. "It's around bathtubs and enclosed rooms with water that sets her off." I nodded my head in understanding. She turned to face me. "You really need to watch all three of them as they get closer to the Capitol, Haymitch."

My eyes reverted to my former Victors. "I'll protect them with my life, Annie," I swore to her. We spent most of the day at the beach by dinnertime I was sleepy and hungry that I took a short nap while Peeta prepared dinner. Katniss never left his side. Not for a moment. It was as if there was shift in their relationship. A closeness that was not present before. I didn't bother to ask but was grateful for the next few weeks a head, they will need each other's support and comfort. I couldn't contain my anxiety any longer. I was about to shatter their peaceful world.

"Listen, guys. I have news to tell you so don't interrupt me until I'm done," I said as Annie and Johanna cleared the table. "I have news about Eva." Katniss gasped as she reached under the table and took Peeta's hand.

"What about Eva" Katniss asked.

"We got her," I announced. Everyone sighed in relief.

"Where did you find her?" Peeta asked, his face pale and his lips trembled. Katniss and Joanna's eyes were filled with anger.

"Effie and I set up false information to the press stating Peeta arrived at the Capitol a few days ago. Information about where he was staying and why he was there," I added. "I'm sorry I did all this without your consent but I needed to weed her out from hiding. And couldn't wait so Effie and I…"

Peeta stood up and started to pace. "So both decided to resolve this on your own. Risking your life, Effie's life without telling me."

"Peeta," I spoke.

"Did we not promise each other that we would not keep secrets," he said as sadness and frustration etched his face.

"Peeta," I repeated. "I swore once to protect you and I didn't." I could feel Katniss' eyes on me. The guilt and shame I felt would remain with me for as long I lived. "Be angry with me, shout at me but don't think that none of us would do what I did without a second thought or regret. I think that everyone will agree with me that I did this with concern for your safety. I would do it again in a heartbeat."

"I'm not angry. I'm disappointed that you would act again without consulting me," Peeta said in resignation. "Stop acting like my mentor and treat me like your friend. Let me be part of the decision making instead of deciding for me. How would you like it if I concocted a scheme with Johanna and not include you?"

He paced the room, his rant continued, "I don't have much control of my life outside the Guardsmen hovering over my shoulder. I want this to be over so I can finally have a normal life with the people I love, with the girl I love." I'm shocked and pleased at his confession. I saw now what changed occurred with him. He had made a step to solidifying his relationship with Katniss. I knew that he was reluctant and weary to admit his feelings for her whether it was public or a personal admission. His time in District 4 was productive. He was striving to build a solid relationship with Katniss despite the circumstances around him.

"I need to be able to trust you," Peeta said.

"You can trust me, Peeta," I implored him. I looked at Katniss for help. Her eyes were glued to Peeta. She stood up and directed him back to sit next to her.

"Stop making decisions or plans without me," he stated as his eyes closed. Katniss rubbed his back in comfort. "I would have had no problem with the plan, Haymitch but you did it without telling me. What if something went wrong and someone got hurt? How do you think I would have felt being responsible for that?"

"I didn't want you to worry," I explained. "I didn't plan on it. It just happened. There were reports that she was seen in District 4 and I needed to lure her away so I had Arn DeVille spread rumors that you arrived at the Capitol without Katniss. We intercepted the reporter that snuck onto Annie's property and held him for a few days."

"And what happened?" Delly asked as if she was watching her Capitol soap. Her eyes were wide open in suspense.

"Like a bee to honey she took the bait when she saw _you_ having dinner with Effie and me."

"But Peeta was here with us," Delly stated.

"We hired an actor to impersonate him." I smiled at my plan remembering the shocked look in Effie's face when she met Peeta's double.

"He looked like Peeta from a distance. We had to lighten his hair a bit and supply him blue contact lens, but he was perfect until you got really close."

"The plan worked well. Actor Peeta wore his white suit for dinner. We knew that look attracted her. She showed up in white, wedding white to be exact."

"You're shitting me," Johanna exclaimed.

"Worked like a charm when she confronted Peeta." I laughed. "You should have seen the look on her face when she saw him. I'll never forget it."

"So she's in custody," Peeta chimed in.

"Yes," I confirmed. "She won't ever bother you again. I made sure of it." Everyone smiled with joy taking turns hugging Peeta. But there was one thing I left unsaid. "I'm sorry Peeta, I should have told you this first, but she wants to see you."

"No fucking way," Katniss screamed. "She is not going to see Peeta ever."

"Damn right." Johanna added.

"Over our dead body," Delly said. "She's done enough. What the hell does she want to see Peeta for?"

"Um, she won't reveal her partner in crime unless she sees Peeta first," I explained. "He's still at large and in hiding. He's still out there Peeta." Katniss held onto his waist.

"It's your decision to make Peeta whether you want to see her or not." Peeta scoffed.

"Too little too late."

"He meant well, Peeta." Katniss defended me. "She's in custody. That is all that matters to me. She will never hurt you again." The room was silent for a few minutes. "Where is she now?"

"In a cell at Dr. Aurelius' mental facility at District 1," I answered back. "She has three Guardsmen watching her at all times." I swallowed bile as it rose from my throat. "One more thing you need to know. She's on suicide watch. She won't eat or drink until she sees you one more time." Peeta's face grew pale. He was conflicted. I knew Peeta. Should he confront his abuser and relive his trauma or let the woman die knowing that he was he cause of her death? There was also her accomplice still out there.

"You sure know how to ruin the mood, you know that?" Johanna said. Her head shook in disapproval. Annie remained quiet throughout the conversation, as did Bron.

"Let her starve and kill herself," Delly said with venom in her tone.

"Delly," Bron gasped in horror for his girlfriend's response.

"What? You know what she did to Peeta," she responded in kind. "Jail time is too good for her."

"I agree," Johanna concurred. "I'll fucking kill that bitch if I ever see her." I ignored them since my only concern at the moment was Peeta's reaction.

"I'm not apologizing for what I've done, Peeta," I said. "Eva is where she needs to be…away from harming you ever again." I stood my ground. He's safe from her forever. Peeta stood up and walked out the house with Katniss right behind him.

"Katniss, for what it's worth. I'm sorry I did it without letting him know. I'm sorry about that," I admitted. "But I'm not sorry she's caught." She nodded her head in thanks and left the room.

"You got balls that's for sure, Haymitch," Johanna said. "Thank you."

Half an hour later, Peeta and Katniss still hadn't shown up. I walked out to the porch from a distance I saw two figures sitting side by side. Katniss' arm was around Peeta's waist. Their heads were close together. Four Guardsmen surrounded them but not within seeing distance. They were discreet to give them privacy. Who knew how much they would have once they entered the Capitol. I swore to give them as much as they deserve.

"I didn't mean to hurt him that way," I said as heard footsteps behind me. Delly appeared by my side. "I've never seen them so happy and care free like they were this morning." It was foreign but a welcome sight. "I'm sorry that I shattered that."

"I'm glad that they're getting closer," Delly sighed. "They are so cute together."

"No one can argue that, Delly," I agreed. The MockingJay had fallen in love with a dove. It was ironic.

"It was smart of Peeta to suggest this trip," she said. "I think he planned a different scenario or outcome." My brows arched into my forehead. "Since leaving District 12, he hadn't expected on Katniss' resolve and determination to _be_ with him. He expected her to bail on him, I think."

"Why would he…" Her statement dumbfounded me.

"Even with everything they've been through together, he never expected anyone of us to stand by him. Especially Katniss. If his mother or family didn't, why should we?" His mother was the cause of his abandonment issues and self worth. I'd slap the woman if she were alive today. I looked up at the sky admiring the moon above us. There was a slight breeze coming from the ocean perfuming the air with salt water and kelp. It was an unfamiliar scent to my senses, but it was comforting. "I believe that he's learning to trust people again."

"And I just broke it again."

"Peeta will get over it, Haymitch," Delly said. "You should know by now that he's a very forgiving person with the people he loves. Give him time. But I do agree with him. You could have told him what you were planning. You should have told all of us."

"I wasn't even planning it but when I heard reports that she was looking for him at District 4, I panicked."

"I think I can understand that. But making a unilateral decision that affects his life without letting him know, makes him feel like you don't trust him." She pointed out. "Trust has to worth both ways in order for a relationship to work." I'm appalled at myself that a young girl of 18 was lecturing me about trust and relationships. I needed a stiff drink. But she was right. I looked over to where Peeta and Katniss sat and found that they were missing.

"Where did they go?" I asked as I turned to look for them when Delly grabbed my arm.

"They're still there, Haymitch," she said as she tugged me back. "You're just not looking hard enough." I squinted my eyes towards the dark beach. Peeta was lying on top of Katniss. They were kissing and…. _Oh my lord, someone bleach my eyes._

"Oh shit. Really out in the open," I said in disgust and amusement.

"Oh, come on old man. Leave them alone," Delly recommended. "They only have tonight for any privacy they may have left until we reach the Capitol." She pushed me back inside the house. At least someone was happy.

The next morning Delly, Katniss, Bron and I stood outside Annie's home watching as Peeta, Johanna and Annie stood at the beach together. Peeta held Annie in his arm as his other hand held onto Johanna's. No one spoke as we watched them say good-bye to her. Delly had Fin in her arms waiting for his mama. I could never fathom what they had experienced together. The horror they endured and how they survived. It broke my heart watching them together. Katniss had tears in her eyes as she watched them walked back to us. Annie reached for Fin and bade her farewells to everyone. It was a solemn ride back to the train station.

"Johanna, are you sure you want to come with us back to the Capitol?" Delly asked as delicate as she could without angering her. "You could have stayed with Annie."

"I need to go back, Delly," she responded. "I know you don't understand but I just have to."

"She's right, Johanna," Peeta chimed in. "You don't need to go there with us."

"Actually I do," she admitted. "Dr. Aurelius said that I needed to go back for a session. It was _recommended_ if I expect to go back to living at District 12. It was part of my agreement to see him at least once a year." She fidgeted with her knife on her leg strap. "Besides, I rather go with all of you and not by myself."

"You wouldn't have gone by yourself," Peeta added. "I would have gone with you no matter what."

"Me too," Delly said taking her hand.

"You know that I would too if Paylor had let me," Katniss supplied, her arm was around Peeta as she lay her head on his shoulder. He would kiss the top of her head every few seconds. They were just adorable. _'Oh shit, I sounded just like Delly.'_

"We're in this together, Johanna," Peeta reminded her. "We're family and family stick together." That's our Peeta always knowing what to say. "I'm really glad that Annie doesn't have to come with us." We agreed with him.

"Isn't it amazing how much Fin looks a lot like Finnick," Delly complimented Annie's son. "He's so adorable," She sighed with a big smile on her face. "He's going to break a lot of hearts when he gets older." The thought warmed my heart that Finnick O'Dair would live through him.

I purposely scheduled our departure a bit early despite the gripping and complaints I received from Johanna and Delly. I had a surprise for them. Kara met us at the platform. "Kara, thank you for joining us on this part of the leg," I greeted her as she joined our group.

"I appreciate the invitation and making me part of this journey," she said as she assessed the group. She winked at Katniss to my surprise as she reacted by blushing in return. "I hope that everyone had a great time." Both Delly and Johanna smirked back at her as they also winked at Katniss. Peeta kissed her hand. Bron and the Guardsmen were in full alert, as a group of people appeared staring at us. We were quite a sight; two traveling female companions, four Victors two being the Star-Crossed Lovers and six Guardsmen surrounding us. Words like MockingJay, rebels and traitor were whispered amongst them. We ignored everyone as cameras appeared taking photos and video until our departure.

At the end of the platform a special train arrived with four cars attached; three private bedroom compartments and private room that served as kitchen, living and dining room. It was the private train for President Paylor. I headed straight to the train leading the group.

"Climb aboard everyone," I instructed. Without any hesitation, everyone boarded. As they entered everyone oohed and awed at the compartments. There was a large floral arrangement with a basket of fruits, candy and cookies in the largest compartment. I picked up the card. _'Compliments from President Paylor,' _it read. Johanna snatched the note from my hand and snorted.

"Sucking up I see," she said. Delly picked at basket opening a box of chocolate.

"She has excellent taste," she mumbled between bites of the sweet candy and strawberries. I noticed Peeta sat quiet and in a daze as he stared out the window. The train eased into a start as it built up speed. Katniss' attention was glued to Peeta who remained mute and unresponsive as the train traveled down the track. Johanna joined him as they sat together staring out the window. Their eyes focused on the horizon.

"What's happening to Peeta and Johanna?" Delly whispered to Kara. "I'm getting worried. They've been staring out the window for the past hour. It's like they are in a trance."

"Leave them be, Delly," Kara advised her. "They're handling their return to the Capitol in their own way." She looked at Katniss. Her face was etched with worry and fear. "We have to watch out for Katniss too. This isn't easy on her either." We have our work ahead of us with three former Victors all suffering from their memories and experiences from the Capitol. It was going to be a long trip.

Dinner was subdued as everyone kept to themselves. As arranged Peeta and Katniss slept on the last car while the men slept in one compartment while Delly, Johanna and Kara slept in the other.

Our stop at District 3 was uneventful but memorable. Peeta held Katniss' hand as she trembled besides him. When they stepped onto the platform a huge crowd greeted them. Two sixteen-year old boy and girl appeared before them, dressed in their best attire. Her long dark hair in a single braid reflected Katniss while the boy short blond hair mirrored Peeta's. It was as if they met their own twin. They handed 12 red roses to Peeta who accepted the flowers in complete shock. "Thank you for ending the Hunger Games." At a loss for words, he nodded his head. "Our parents told us that we're too young but we're engaged to be married once we're both 18. This would not be possible if it wasn't for you and Katniss Everdeen," the young boy said as he held his girl's hand.

Katniss hugged the young girl two years her junior. "Congratulations. May you have a long happy life together," she said with tears in her eyes. The young girl presented Katniss with a box.

"For you and Mr. Mellark," she said. "May you both have a happy life together as well. Thank you for saving our lives." One hour later, both Peeta and Katniss were staring at the box in front of them.

"You know, instead of staring at it and wondering what's inside, you should open it up and take a look," I teased them. Peeta looked sheepish while Katniss was embarrassed. I didn't understand what was the fuss.

"Stop it, Haymitch," Johanna scolded me. "If you can't figure out why they're reluctant to open it, take a look at the box." I examined the small box with interest. It seemed ordinary and uninteresting. It was two by six inches and flat wrapped in white silvery paper with a silver bow. I didn't think anything special about it. Then it struck me. It's a wedding present from District 3.

"Oh, wow."

"You've been around longer then us. You should have recognized the significance," Johanna reprimanded me. "You know all the districts traditions." _'Oh shit.'_ No wonder they were reluctant to open it. They weren't even engaged. Though I found that as a technicality since Peeta did propose to her months ago.

"We should send it back." Peeta decided as he lifted the box into his hands. "It's not right to keep it in false pretense." The look of hurt was apparent on Katniss' face. "We're not really engaged. That wasn't real." She nodded in agreement but I think it hurt her knowing how she instigated that situation without thinking of how it hurt Peeta at the time. "But it's probably rude to send it back so…I guess we should keep it." He looked lost and sad reliving the memory. "I wanted it to be real." He said so low that I almost didn't catch it. Katniss looked up at him taking his hand.

"Maybe…we can open it together when it's real," Katniss suggested, her eyes downcast waiting for a rejection. We all held our breath waiting for a response from Peeta. He lifted her chin with a finger forcing her to look at him. His blinked twice as if he's focusing. Tears trailed down her cheek as his hand palmed her face wiping it with his thumb.

"If that time ever happens—," Peeta started, his voice cracked.

"Not _'if'_ Peeta _'when' _it happens," Katniss concluded, her voice firm and certain. A smile graced her face. He nodded his head and smiled back.

"When it happens, it'll be real for the both of us." He leaned over and kissed her like a promise. Kara sighed as Delly sobbed while taking pictures to mark the event.

"Come on you two," Bron teased. "You're making Delly cry again."

"Did Peeta just promised to get engaged to Katniss," Kara asked. "Because that had to be one of the sweetest and romantic things I have ever seen." She pulled a handkerchief from her pocket and dabbed her wet eyes.

"Geez, Peeta. You trying to show me up again," Bron laughed as he patted him on the back.

"I'm sorry, I forgot you guys were here," he admitted and had the nerve to blush. Katniss wrapped her arms around his waist as she kissed his neck. She hid her face as she hugged him tight.

"That was so beautiful," Delly wailed. "I can't imagine when Peeta does propose for real. It'll probably be romantic, beautiful and over the top."

"Delly," Johanna sneered at her. "Don't embarrass them."

"What!" she screeched back. "They're already—"

"Just be quiet," Johanna interrupted as she palmed her mouth her hand.

"Anyway, aren't you two deciding when _you're_ getting married?" I directed my question to Delly and Bron hoping to distract their attention away from the embarrassed couple. A slight disagreement ensued between with the said engaged couple much to Peeta and Katniss' relief.

Though I admit that having them get engaged for real would be a great outcome from all the drama and hell they've endured, they still have a lot to work through. Watching them together lifted my spirit and lightened my heart. It was something to look forward to.

* * *

**Delly POV –**

A loud voice woke me from my sleep. "Johanna?" I heard Peeta calling out to her. I shook my head hoping to adjust to abruptness from my sleep to consciousness. My eyes felt like lead and my head fuzzy from the alcohol I had consumed the night before. Johanna was struggling on her bed caught in a nightmare as she thrashed around causing her blankets to wrap around her legs.

She sat up, gasping for breath as she clutched her chest. "Peeta," she wheezed. "I got to find Peeta." Her eyes were dazed as she looked around her. Confused, she got up and ran out the compartment. "Peeta, where are you?"

I jumped from my bed and went after her realizing that she was in a delusional trance. I found Johanna and Peeta together in a frantic state looking for a way out. "We need to get out of here, Johanna." Peeta said gesturing to the compartment window. "We have to find Annie before they catch us." I ran back to our sleeping quarters.

"Kara, get up," I said as I shook her shoulders. "Johanna and Peeta are in a trance. They think they're escaping from the Capitol."

Kara awakened and went straight to her medical bag. "Give me a second." She reached inside and pulled out a needle. "Let's go."

We raced outside the room to find both Peeta and Johanna trying to open the compartment windows. "We need to get out of here fast," Johanna said in a panicked state.

"We need to find Annie, Johanna. We can't leave her behind." Peeta spoke. Haymitch bumped into Kara and I as he ran into the compartment.

"What the hell is all that screaming going on," he barked. His grew wide as he noticed Peeta and Johanna. "Oh, shit."

"They're in a trance. Don't touch them," Kara said. "If you wake them too abruptly they might fall into a psychotic break."

"Haymitch, go find Katniss and see if she's okay," I instructed him. "Kara and I will take care of Peeta and Johanna." He took off without any hesitation.

"Johanna, Peeta." Kara called out in soft and soothing manner. "What are you two doing out of bed?" She approached them with her hand behind her back hiding the needle.

"Get away from us, bitch," Johanna bellowed. "You can't make us stay here against our will."

"No one is keeping you prisoner, Johanna," I added as I walked up to them.

"Delly, what are you doing here?" Peeta asked bewildered. "Did they capture you too?"

"Peeta, remember we're in a train with Bron, Haymitch and Katniss," I explained as I raised my hand.

"Katniss is here? Where is she, Delly?" he asked. "They're not hurting her, are they?"

Haymitch appeared with Katniss. "Peeta, honey. I woke up and you were gone from our bed."

"Our bed," Peeta asked confusion and shook his head. "You're not real. You're trying to trick me again."

"I'm real, Peeta," Katniss added as she extended her hand. "Feel me. I'm real. Just like Delly and Haymitch."

"You're lying," Johanna screamed as she huddled next to Peeta. "They're trying to trick us again. Don't fall for it, Peeta."

"You're not real," Peeta reiterated, his face sad and resigned. "Katniss left me behind. She and Haymitch abandoned Johanna and me." I heard both Haymitch and Katniss gasp in horror. Guilt and shame etched on their face. I knew that both felt horrible for the choices they made that fateful day.

"They left us to die," Johanna added. "We're on our own. You're not real. Snow is trying to trick us again."

"We don't know anything about the rebellion," Peeta stated. "Just leave us alone. You might as well kill us already. We know nothing." He stood in front of Johanna ready to protect her as Haymitch stepped forward. "You step closer I'll break your neck." Haymitch stepped back. "Tell me where is Annie?"

"Annie is safe in District 4, remember?" I explained. "We're on a train for your session, Peeta. And Bron, Katniss and I came along with you. Remember we visited Annie a couple of days ago." I reminded them.

"You're lying. This is a trick to fool us into telling you where the rebels are located," Johanna stated. "I'll die before betraying them."

Kara gestured to Haymitch as she and I approached Johanna. "Keep them talking Delly. We need to sedate Johanna first." She said in a hushed tone that only Haymitch and I could hear. "Katniss talk to Peeta, tell him you're real."

"Peeta," she said as she walked towards him. "Listen to me baby, it's me Katniss. I'm real." She took another step towards him. "Try to remember where you are."

"Stay away from me," Peeta screamed. "You're not real. Katniss gave up on us. On me. She's safe with Gale and the rebels. She won't come back for me." Katniss' face fell as tears flowed down her cheeks.

"That's not true, Peeta," she sobbed. "I thought you were dead. I would have come for you if I had known you were still alive."

"Don't lie to me," he screamed. "You've been lying to my face for months. You don't care about me. You have Prim and Gale."

"Peeta, I love yo—"

"Don't say that. The real Katniss never loved me; she used me during the first game, during the Victory Tour. I'm nothing to her." I noticed that his wristband display turned orange, a sign that his venom was flowing in his veins. If we pushed him to far he'll trigger an episode.

"Calm down, Peeta. Take a deep breath," I said, my tone was soothing but firm.

"Not real, Peeta, not real," Katniss chanted.

"She's right, Peeta. That's not real. Katniss always loved you," I tried to convince him. "I'm real, Peeta. I never lied to you. I'm your friend."

"Don't listen to them, Peeta," Johanna seethed in anger. "This is all a trick."

Bron and his Guardsmen appeared behind us startling everyone. Peeta looked around the room and the people he didn't recognize. "Who are they?" he asked.

"Bron, step back," Kara instructed them. He nodded his head following her lead. "Peeta, Johanna, you remember Bron? He's Delly's boyfriend."

"Fiancé," I corrected her as I extended my left hand showing off my engagement ring. Bron stepped next to me and held my other hand. "You're going to make my cake for our wedding. I want lots of flowers and vanilla icing. You promised that you're going to bake my favorite bread. Do you remember what I asked?" Peeta blinked his eyes for a few seconds.

"White bread with lots of nuts and berries," I answered. "You're going to make my toasting bread for Bron and me."

"You remember me Peet," Bron added. "I asked you months ago for your blessing. I'm your friend. You, me, Delly and Katniss, we went on a double date a few weeks ago, remember?" Peeta shook his head as if to stop the memories in his head from clouding his judgment.

"You're all lying," Johanna screamed. "We're in the 'game room.' You're not real. We know you're trying trick us into telling you where the rebels are located. We've been telling you for weeks we know nothing." She laughed like she lost her mind. "This is really good though. You're getting better with the simulation."

She continued to laugh while Peeta held her in his arms. Her eyes grew dark after she calmed down. "You stay away from us. You need to leave Peeta alone. He knows nothing. He's innocent. The only thing he's guilty of is falling for a girl who wants nothing to do with him. She's long gone by now."

"That's not true," Katniss yelled so loud she startled all of us. "I cared about him. I almost lost my mind in 13 when I thought he was dead." She moved forward to them. "I'm real as you are. Don't you dare tell me that I didn't care about him."

"You're good, really good," Johanna sneered. "But not good enough." She lunged forward to grab her but Haymitch was quicker as he grabbed Johanna and held her arms behind her. Two Guardsmen assisted him.

"Hurry the fuck up, Kara," he bawled. "She's a lot stronger than you think." Two Guardsmen held her down as Kara injected her. She struggled for a few seconds and fell into consciousness.

"Leave her alone," Peeta screamed as he grabbed a Guardsmen and slammed him down on the ground. His eyes were red as anger grew inside him. After struggling for a few seconds, Peeta had him in a choke hold. Peeta was shorter than him but his years in wrestling taught him to defend himself against opponents twice his size. "Don't touch her or I'll kill you."

"Peeta let him go. You're not a killer," Katniss yelled as she grabbed him from behind.

He started laughing hysterically. "I'm a Victor. I already have blood in my hands. One more won't matter." He squeezed tight causing the Guardsmen to gag for breath.

"Peeta," she pleaded. "Let him go, please. This isn't you."

"You never knew me. I was a bug, a thorn on your side," he admitted. "You didn't care about me."

"Not real, Peeta, Not real." She yanked him hard that he let go of the Guardsmen. "I love you, I loved you and I didn't even know that I did. I went crazy in 13 when I thought I lost I you. I wanted to die."

"Liar, you're a liar," he screamed at her. Frantic and desperate, she shook him hard as she grabbed by the shoulders.

"I'm not lying to you, damnit," she roared then something unexpected. She kissed him hard, smashing her lips against his mouth as he struggled to set himself free. Katniss held onto him as she wrapped her arms around his neck and jumped up to encased him with her legs. He paused for a second with his eyes opened then grabbed her around the waist as he returned her kiss. "I love you, please come back to me. I'm sorry, please don't leave me."

He returned each kiss with vigor. "Katniss, Katniss." He chanted against her as she grabbed the back of his head with one hand angling him as she continued to kiss him with desperation and longing. She grinded her hips into his belly earning her a low moan resonating from her throat. "Real, real, real."

"Yes, I'm real. I love you," she responded in kind. Moments or hours later, I couldn't focus how long they were wrapped in their own world. They were fierce in their devotion to each other. It was erotic, inspiring and enviable. Their kissing went on for minutes until they stopped to catch a breath in between each passionate kiss. "Come back to me." Seconds later the urgency in their kisses abated as their kisses were soft, gentle as they soothed each other's soul. Katniss leaned her forehead against his, their breath mingled with each other. She smiled when he kissed the tip of her nose. "Hi," she whispered, panting and gasping for breath.

He smiled back. "Hi," he returned as he placed an arm around her slim waist and the other under her ass to steady her. She groaned in appreciation.

"Hi," I announced. They both turned their heads at the same time with eyes wide open from surprise and shock. "You two done because if you're not I want to I sell tickets?"

"That was hot," Kara added as she fanned her hands over her heated face and I needed a change of underwear.

"I need a long, cold shower," Bron teased as the guys behind him nodded in agreement. Katniss released Peeta as her legs unfurled and her feet landed on the ground below her. However, her arms were wrapped around his waist as she hid her face between his neck and shoulder.

"Cut it out, everyone," Haymitch interrupted. "You two done sucking face because you know, I want to go back to bed and sleep if you don't mind."

"Sorry," Peeta relented as he rubbed Katniss back. "I'm sorry everyone, I didn't mean to wake everyone up. This is my fault."

"It's no ones' fault, Peeta," Kara proclaimed. "We're just relieved that Katniss was able to pull you out of your episode. Though I have to admit that making out was something I wouldn't recommend." She teased Katniss.

"It's only works for him as long that it's Katniss," Haymitch snickered.

"Damn right," Katniss returned as she raised her head from Peeta's shoulder. "You better not get any ideas—" she directed to Kara who lifted her hands in mock surrender. "I'm pissed that you've already seen him naked."

"Hey, did you forget that I'm his doctor," she reminded her as her brow lifted. Katniss eyes narrowed.

"Oh for crying out loud, Bron pick up Johanna and place her on her bed," Haymitch complained. "Everyone, the show is over. Go back to sleep and you two," he pointed to Katniss and Peeta. "Get some sleep. We have a big day ahead of us." He reminded everyone to our dismay. Bron picked up Johanna off the ground and placed her on the bed. Katniss and Peeta followed Kara and I back to our room. After placing Johanna on her bed, Peeta picked up a blanket and laid it over her sleeping form. He bent down, whispered in her ear and kissed her forehead. "Sweet dreams, Johanna. I promise, no one will ever hurt you again." He reached out and hugged me close causing Bron to roll his eyes in vexation. I stuck out my tongue at him for being irrational. "Thank you, Delly."

"What for?" I inquired puzzled and surprised.

"For sticking it out with me, for being my friend. Johanna and I couldn't have survived this long without you," he answered. "Bron is a very lucky man to have you in his life." I bit my lip attempting to stop from bawling. "You take really good care of her," he said to my fiancé.

"I will, Peeta," Bron returned as he placed an arm around my waist. I leaned into him feeling his strength and love through his embrace. "We're both pretty lucky." He said as he looked at Katniss and me.

"We're more thank lucky, Bron," Peeta quipped back. "We're blessed." He took her hand and led her out of the room. The rest of the evening was quiet and peaceful. I missed Bron's presence in my lonely bed as Johanna's snoring kept me awake for a better part of the hour. We had a pretty close call with Peeta and Johanna. As the miles ahead us led us towards the Capitol, the more frantic Johanna, Peeta and Katniss reacted. I'm certain that this was just the tip of the iceberg.

A few hours later, Haymitch made an announcement that didn't surprise me. "We're be passing District 2. It seems that our Star-Crossed Lovers are not welcomed there. Which I'm not surprised since they thought that either Cato or Clove was expected to win that arena." Katniss was standing staring out into the compartment window while Peeta was seated next to her. Johanna, and Peeta were agitated, as we got closer to District 1.

"Fine with me," Katniss commented. "I don't think I can stomach another appearance. District 3 was embarrassing enough."

"Me, too." Peeta added his two cents. "We shouldn't of had to in the first place. I'm sick of being paraded like some great prize to be gawked at. I thought that part of my life was over." He cringed at the last the statement.

"Why can't people leave Peeta and I alone? We deserve a normal life," Katniss said as she sat down next to him.

"Sorry, but Panem can't get enough of your two," Haymitch stated. "You're lives are both under the microscope, it's something you both have to live with for the rest of your life. You're embedded in Panem's history forever." I felt sorry for them. They would never be able to live a peaceful life in anonymity. Everywhere they went they would be recognized and hounded. Everything they did was scrutinized or analyzed. When they marry and I do say _when_, their private life would be speculated and their children hounded for being a child born out of the Star Crossed Lovers union. _'Oh, I bet they'll be cute too.' _I speculated as I imagined Peeta's blond hair and Katniss eyes. They'll be best friends to Bron's and my children.

The miles past us as we traveled through District 2 without incident. Peeta and Katniss stayed away from the windows as the trained stopped to refuel for the last leg through District 1 and towards the Capitol. Maintenance, mechanical check up and loading new supplies were enforced via Haymitch's insistence. He had the Guardsmen check and recheck every container. Haymitch commented, "We don't want to get stranded in the middle of nowhere without provisions just in case of an emergency." I was grateful for his foresight.

"I'm not taking any chances," he addressed his concerns when Peeta questioned his actions. "We need to be prepared like we're back in the games. You have enemies Peeta. There are people out there that are not happy with you for _betraying_ Katniss during the rebellion." He had to remind him that though his life took a positive turn with Katniss, he was still in danger from other elements besides his stalker and Eva. "And you Katniss, I don't think you realize that not all the districts are happy with you killing President Coin. You both have targets on your back."

"Then it's a good thing that Katniss finally got her head out of her ass," Johanna cackled. "Now they can be together officially and address any doubters out there that they are truly together in every sense of the word."

Katniss scowled at her. "I did not have my _'head in my ass'_." Delly snorted.

"What? It's the truth. We all saw it, you were just too stubborn to admit it." Johanna snickered as she grabbed Peeta and hugged him. "Who can resist this face, his crystal blue eyes and luscious blond hair?" She ran her hands through his locks, as Peeta's eyes grew wide. "And what about that monster between his legs. I bet you won't be able to walk for days when—"

"Hey, stop touching him and talking about his…you know," she shrieked as she grabbed Peeta from her grasp. "He's my boyfriend."

"Oh, Katniss. Don't be embarrassed," Kara tuned in. "You should be very proud for having a uh…well endowed boyfriend. He is quite impressive." Peeta looked shocked and pleased at the attention. Johanna snickered.

"Just because he's my friend doesn't mean I'm not curious, you know. Like how big does he really get when he's excited," she wondered. "I mean, he must get like _'wow'_ size."

"Stop," Katniss said as she closed her eyes.

"Yeah, even Effie wondered about that when she saw him naked," Haymitch remarked causing Katniss to open her eyes and scowl at him.

"Since did she ever saw Peeta naked?" she asked, bewildered and angry at his revelation.

"Oh, I was there when Portia measured him during his fitting at the first arena. You should have seen Effie's face. You thought she never saw a penis before when she saw Peeta the first time," he cackled. Peeta laughed in return.

"They're just teasing you, Katniss," Peeta said as he tried to calm his pissed off girlfriend.

"It's not funny," she added as pouted her lips. "Even Haymitch got to see you naked before I did."

"Well, you get to see me naked anytime you want now," he teased her. He picked her off her seat to sit on his lap as he whispered in her ear. She blushed red a few seconds later them continued, "I'm all yours."

Everyone laughed at his remark even Katniss though she cringed at first. Jace walked into the compartment. "We've passed through District 1 city limits, Haymitch," he announced. "ETA is about 10 hours give or take."

"Thanks for letting me know," he returned as Jace left the room. He turned to Peeta. "So, have you decided what you want to do?"

Peeta grabbed Katniss' hand and played with her fingers. "We're going to be there by morning and I need to inform Dr. Aurelius of your decision so he can let the warden know you're coming." He looked at Kara. "Kara will go with you to monitor you incase you might panic or something."

"You need to decide soon so I can alert and prepare your visit," Kara informed him.

"What should I do?" Peeta asked her.

"I can't advise you or decide for you, Peeta," she replied. "I can't and won't influence or instruct you what to do. It's ultimately your decision."

"If you're going I'm coming with you," Katniss said as she hugged him. "If Kara gets to go then I'm going too."

"Me too," Johanna stated.

"No," Peeta spoke loud and clear that it brook no argument. "I have to do this on my own. I have to face her on my own. I don't want any of you there."

"Peeta," Katniss spoke. "At least let me go with you to the facility. I don't want you to leave me here; waiting and wondering what's happening to you. Don't do that to me. I let you go once and I lost you."

"Katniss," he pleaded. "I don't want you to see me with her."

"I don't care." She placed her hands on his cheeks cupping his face. "I understand that you need to face her, but let me stand beside you. I have to be there with you, please!" Their eyes were closed as their foreheads touched each other. "Please, Peeta. We need to do this together. I need to be there for you." They were quiet holding each other, seeking comfort and support. The room was still as all of us held our breath. It's like watching a romantic video on one of the Capitol channels. The scene touched even Haymitch as he wiped his cheek against his hand.

"Okay, " Peeta responded so low and soft I thought I imagined it. She hugged him back in relief.

"Well, since that matter been settled, I need to make a call." Kara stood up and left the compartment.

"I need a drink," Haymitch huffed.

"Me too," Johanna exclaimed. "And I'm going with you, Peeta. I'm going with you to the facility and you're not going to stop me." She stood up and placed her hands on her waist in an act of defiance.

"Me too," I confirmed.

Peeta shook his head. "You can't stop me either." I defied him. "Or I'll tell Katniss about the time when you got drunk on the night of your 15th birthday shouting to the world that—"

"Delly, you wouldn't dare," he challenged me. "If you do, I'll Bron about your 16th birthday and—"

"Peeta, you promised to never bring that up ever," I screeched in horror. "Go ahead, I think your story is a lot more embarrassing than mine."

"No way. Bron will get jealous and mad if he ever found out that you—" I covered his face with my hand. He diverted my hand and continued, "Katniss will be mad too if she—"

"What are you two talking about?" Katniss interrupted us. Peeta and I looked at each other. Her curiosity was piqued. I blushed bright red, as my face grew warm from the memory.

"Uh, nothing Katniss," I said. "Right Peeta. We're just kidding around."

"Yeah, sure," he repeated. "I'm just teasing Delly." He raised his hand to the back of his neck.

"Doesn't sound like nothing to me," Johanna interjected as she smirked at me. "I bet Katniss would love to know what you're talking about." She knew because I told her one drunken night back in District 4. I was so happy that Katniss was seducing as we pried that information from her during our shopping spree. Johanna, Annie and I celebrated with a large bottle of wine to celebrate the occasion. Annie only took a sip since she had to stay alert for baby Fin, but Johanna and I polished the bottle in an hour. My joy for Katniss and Peeta turned into night of walking around half naked and telling stories of our childhood antics. I had hoped that Johanna was too intoxicated to remember but she held her liquor better than me. I ignored her jab as I turned to Peeta who was my first crush, my first heartbreak and best friend.

"I'm going and there is nothing you can do to stop me," I challenged him. "Besides, I'm also his nurse. I should be there."

"Shit people, this is not some party where going to," Haymitch reiterated. "I'm game to take all of you as long as you don't distract or bother Peeta. It's bad enough he's going to see that psycho with all of you tagging along." He sighed. "I really am sorry Peeta that you have to go through this, but if she can tell us who her accomplice is, we have a better chance of catching him."

"If all I have to do is see her so can tell us who he is, then it will be worth it," Peeta said. I detected a tinge of hope and fear radiating from him. That night Kara slipped a mild sedative in Katniss, Peeta and Johanna's glass of water during dinner. It was deceitful but necessary to ensure that they slept well that night. Peeta never suspected a thing even when he carried Katniss to their sleeping quarters. He laid her down on the bed and slept next to her the instant his head hit the pillow. Johanna also had to be carried by Bron to her bed.

Slipping the sedative in their drinks were mine and Kara's secret. I was reluctant at first but when signs of anxiety, panic and agitation appeared on all of them, I agreed. I never revealed to Bron or Haymitch of our duplicity.

The next morning, they woke up a bit groggy but slept through the night without incident. I sighed in relief.

"Good morning, everyone," Kara said as she walked into the dining area. "How did everyone sleep?" I tried to school my emotion. I couldn't give away the fact that I basically drugged them the night before. They were my friends and my family. What I done would haunt me. I was up half the night bothered by my decision. I was still horrified by it.

"Like someone slept on my chest all night," Johanna answered as she clutched onto a mug of hot coffee. Her face looked drawn and tired, as did Katniss and Peeta. My stomach lurched from anxiety and worry. "I don't remember how I got to my bed."

"Delly, are you okay? You look a little pale this morning." Katniss observed.

"I'm fine," I said with a small smile on my face. "I'm just a little worried about today with Peeta seeing Eva and all." She smiled back in sympathy.

"What could go wrong with all of you coming with me for support," Peeta said. "You girls are the best." He grabbed both Johanna and Katniss' hand. "Thank you for coming with me. I wouldn't know what to do without you girls for always looking out for me. I'm a very lucky guy." He kissed Katniss' hand.

I wanted to vomit. The guilt overwhelmed me as it churned and bubbled in my stomach. "I did it." I screeched. Kara's eyes bulged from her sockets as she shook her head. "I did it. I'm sorry."

"What did you do?" Katniss asked.

"Kara and I slipped sleep syrup in your water during dinner."

Johanna, Peeta and Katniss stared at me like as if I lost my mind. Then they burst into laughter. "We know, Delly." Johanna snickered at me. "You didn't think we noticed that our water tasted funny last night." Peeta and Katniss shook their heads in disapproval.

"You knew? How?" I stuttered as I waited for them to yell at me.

"It's okay, Delly," Peeta spoke. "I know you and Kara meant well."

"You knew?" Kara asked. All three nodded their heads.

"I don't think that Delly would have done that on her own," Peeta stated.

"I was pissed at first that Peeta had to calm me down because I was so ready to bitch slap you and Kara," Johanna admitted. I winced at the imagery because when Johanna Mason struck at you with her hands she didn't pull her punches. Kara and I would have sported a black eye for sure.

"We love you, Delly but don't ever do that again without consulting us," Katniss said.

"I'm sorry," I repented.

"I ask for your forgiveness too," Kara interjected. "Delly and I acted out of concern for your welfare. It was not meant to slight anyone."

"Just don't ever do that again," Johanna threatened her. "Trust is a big issue with us. Please don't shatter it by your _'good intentions.' _We need to be able to trust _everyone_ around us." I was riddle with shame for disabusing my trust albeit I had acted out of love and concern for their well-being.

"Don't worry, Delly." Katniss added. "I'm sure Johanna will find a suitable punishment for your transgression." She smiled back at me while Peeta and Johanna snickered in response. I sighed in relief but also in anxiety.

An hour later, the train came to a complete stop. We had arrived at District 1 on schedule. My nerves were raw from my duplicity and also my concern for Peeta's state of mind. He was quiet for the rest of the morning. He didn't speak or acknowledge anyone, as we got closer to our destination. Nothing we could do or say broke his trance. In true Johanna fashion she grew surly and angry every time someone approached or spoke to her. Katniss was beside herself not knowing how to break Peeta's spell and alleviate Johanna's anger.

We disembarked without any incident as we boarded another hover car to the hospital facility. A small group gathered to greet us, welcoming us at District 1. The mayor handed out a small box and flowers to the Victors. They accepted the gift with gratitude and grace as impatience and frustration etched their faces. Such is the life of a Victor. If they only knew the real reason why we were visiting. Katniss held Peeta's hand throughout the ride. She spoke to him in whispers of comfort and support. Sweat beaded his forehead as his breath became uneven. His wristband remained green to my surprise.

"You don't have to do this," Haymitch told him one last time before walking through the building. Bron and his Guardsmen were standing in front of the entrance waiting for us to exit the car. "We'll find another way to catch her accomplice."

After hours of silence Peeta spoke, "I need to do this," he said so low I had to strain my head. "If I don't she won, she fucking won and stole something from me. I can't let her get away with it."

"It still doesn't mean that you have to face her if you don't want to," Katniss advised him. "But I will support you which ever decision you make."

"I survived the abuse, the humiliation and torture from Snow," Peeta said. "He almost broke my mind and spirit. I can't let Eva shatter the rest of me. I want her to know that she didn't break me and that you still want me. No matter what she did to me—"

"None of that matters, Peeta," Katniss assured him. "You're mine. Every single part of you belongs to me. She didn't take anything from you that had always belonged to me."

"Then let's get this over with," Peeta said, his voice was strong and confident.

We were tattooed '3FV' on top of our hands to indicate that we were visiting the facility. The green ink monitored our position throughout the facility accounting our movement. Sort of like a GPS tattoo. All of our jewelry and accessories were confiscated for safekeeping. I was loathed to remove my engagement ring but relented as the security guard assured me that I would get it back. I didn't trust them so Bron had one of our Guardsmen watch over our belongings.

We saw several people milling about from security to the hospital staff. Our visit was discreet and confidential that no one was allowed to approach us to our relief. We were all surprised when we were greeted by no other than Dr. Aurelius himself.

"Hello, Dr. Aurelius," Peeta greeted him with surprised and shock on his face.

"Hi, everyone. You didn't think that I would allow this visit without me?" he challenged Kara. "It's good to see you all." He shook Peeta and Haymitch's hand.

"Katniss, it's good to see you after all this time," he addressed her. "You look good."

She nodded her head in greeting with a small smile on her face. "I'm here for Peeta."

"As I knew you would be." He turned to Johanna. "And how are you Johanna?"

"Fine," she answered short and to the point.

"Listen, Dr. Aurelius," Kara interrupted the reunion. "We need to get this done. The more we linger the more anxious and agitated Peeta will get."

"My apologies for disrupting and distracting you all," he said. "Peeta, if you will follow me, I will accompany you and monitor your visit today."

"No," Peeta spoke. "I want Katniss with me." He held her hand tight as she wrapped a hand around his elbow.

"That is out of the question."

"And I want Kara to take me to her," Peeta instructed. "She's been my doctor for months now. I want her to observe the visit." Kara smiled for his trust in her.

"Peeta," Dr. Aurelius sighed.

"You can monitor and observe me at the Capitol, but for today," Peeta pointed to Kara. "She is my doctor. And Katniss will observe my visit with Kara in the observation room." It was the first time in his life that he stood up for himself against authority. I was proud of Peeta's demands.

"Peeta, I want to be with you when you confront her," Katniss suggested.

"No, I do this alone," he demanded. "You can watch me and listen if you want to, but you are not going in there with me." She relented and nodded her head.

* * *

**Katniss POV -  
**

The trip to the 3rd floor where Eva was quarantined was stark and cold. We walked along a corridor with rooms to each side. Each room had a large window into the bedrooms. At the end of the corridor were two doors. Kara and I went into the right door where a large window displayed the next room. This was the Observation Room.

"You stay out here until you see the green light turn on," Kara instructed Peeta. He nodded his head in understanding. We stepped into the room. At the last minute, I grabbed Peeta by the waist and held on tight. "I love you. Just remember that," I reminded as I kissed him. I felt bereft the moment I released him and left him in the corridor.

We held our breath as Eva walked in with two burly men. Her hands were cuffed together. The room was beige with three dark brown armchairs in the center with a small coffee table. It looked homey. She sat down on one chair as her hands were cuffed to each arm incapacitating her movement. It forced her to stay seated. The Eva I saw was unrecognizable as her blond roots grew and her eyes back to green. She was thin and drawn like she hasn't eaten or bathed for weeks. She wore a pair of matching white shirt and pants with rubber shoes and no socks. Eva was a shadow of who she used to be. However, she was alert as she kept asking when Peeta was to arrive. They ignored her. The two men then placed plugs into their ears and stood by the doorway. I suppressed my urge to barge into the room and strangle her skinny white neck.

I caught my breath as the door opened and Peeta stepped into the room. Her eyes traveled from his face; they lingered on his groin and to his feet. "Hello, lover. I knew you would come to me," she said, smug and proud of herself. I felt my rage and anger consumed me.

"This is it, Katniss," Kara spoke interrupting my fantasy of drawing an arrow through her head. I wanted to hurt her and inflict as much pain as she had caused Peeta.

He stood stock still as he clenched his hands into fists. I recognized his stance as his lips trembled, his eyes were dazed and sweat beaded his forehead. Peeta was having an episode.

* * *

_**AN: Thank you for reading his chapter. I hope it wasn't too long. Please leave any comment or review at your leisure. I hope that everyone had a safe and Happy 4**__**th **__**of July. Have a great rest of the week.**_


	35. Chapter 35 - The Crazy Things We Do

Chapter 35 – The Crazy Things We Do for Love

AN: My eternal gratitude to Trude, everlasting1286, Aqua Rules, Shannon, LACR and guest and for those who followed and alerted my story. Your faithful reviews are always appreciated. Any mistakes and errors found in this chapter are my own. Hope you're enjoying the last couple of chapters since Peeta and Co. journey is far from over. All rights and characters belong to Suzanne Collins.

* * *

**Johanna POV —**

We rode to the third floor in one elevator. It was large enough to accommodate all of us. It was stifling and claustrophobic that I felt an onset of a panic attack. While Katniss' arm was wrapped around his waist, Peeta held my hand as we ascended to the floor. He was comforting me when I should have been comforting him. I remained calm as best as I could. Delly sensed my unease as well so she wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

Once the door opened, I pushed everyone aside and ran out stopping in the middle of the corridor. I bent over and placed my hands on my knees, breathing hard and fast. Delly stood beside me rubbing my back. I flinched at first then realized that it was only she so I relaxed.

"Johanna, maybe you should go back to the train," Peeta spoke. I shook my head.

"I'm okay. I think I'll take the stairs when we leave," I suggested. I cringed from embarrassment and disgust with myself. "It was too crowded in there." Six large guardsmen, four Victors and 3 medical personnel fitted in one elevator. On an ordinary day, standing in a box with all these hunky guys was a treat for me. But today isn't ordinary and neither are the people I'm with. I took several breaths to contain myself.

"It's all right, Johanna," Kara exclaimed as she took my pulse. "No need to explain. Next time, we all won't go in at the same time." I nodded my head in thanks.

"The rest of you will have to wait in the reception room," Dr. Aurelius instructed us. His demeanor was professional and business-like, an attitude I was all too aware of. "Peeta, Katniss, Dr. Templeton and I are the only ones allowed in the restricted area. You will wait there until we're done." He pointed to the door labeled, 'Reception Room 1.'

With a quick hug and wishes of good luck to Peeta, I watched them disappear down a long corridor. Katniss held Peeta's hand tight as Kara and Dr. Aurelius led them away. Their bond and their closeness were apparent as they held each other. It eased my heart for a bit as images of Eva attacking and abusing Peeta cluttered my mind. The thoughts fueled my anger. I felt helpless and weak for not being able to protect him. "Come on, Johanna. He'll be okay. Katniss will make sure of it. She won't let Eva hurt him anymore," Delly stated. If there were one person whom I knew would watch over him and make sure he was unharmed, it was Katniss. Her love for him was fierce and strong. He was in good hands; I can acknowledge that now.

The reception room was stark and white. It was typical room with long uncomfortable lounge chairs and TV monitors on the walls. The décor and furnishing reminded me too much of the rooms in the Capitol. The sound from the monitors were muted to my satisfaction. I couldn't bear to look or listen to any programs being aired. We didn't know how long or if Peeta would be able to get Eva to divulge the information we needed. He had to try.

Haymitch sat closest to the doorway. He leaned over resting his elbows on his knees with his head down. Bron stayed with us while the other Guardsmen patrolled the corridors making sure we were not disturbed by anyone, including curious hospital staff. I was familiar with this facility as I remembered Finnick visiting Annie after the first few months from winning her arena. Her mind was the cost to her victory. She was never the same but Finnick fell in love with her despite of it.

"I still can't believe that Peeta's going through with this," Delly sounded her concern. At the last minute she tried in vain to deter Peeta to not talk to Eva. He was appreciative of her concern but convinced her that if he didn't confront her, Eva would forever haunt him for the rest of his life. In truth, my motivation was far more nefarious. She was better off dead.

"You've known him the longest," Haymitch spoke. "He shouldn't surprise you. I knew even before I asked what he would do."

"He still surprises me," Delly commented. "He's got a greater capacity for forgiveness than most people I know."

"I don't think he's here to forgive her," I guessed. "More like ending this long nightmare. Besides, knowing him better than all of us, did you think that he was about to let her kill herself and not find out who is stalking him? Even at the expense of his own safety and state of mind, he'll always choose to do the right thing."

"I wasn't talking about Eva," she retorted. Haymitch and Bron looked at Delly in concern.

"What are you talking about Delly?" Bron asked his girlfriend.

She looked sad and beside herself. She wore her hair in a braid with a bit of makeup on her face. Delly was pretty with her pale skin, long blond hair and blue eyes. If you didn't know any better she could pass to be Peeta's sister. Her was skin freckled from too much sun exposure in District 4. When I first met her she was too skinny that I thought a breeze could knock her down. Today, after many months of Peeta's baked goods and proper diet, she was curvy and healthy. Her hair shone in the bright sun. I was envious of her full and luscious locks that bounced when she walked. Her effervescent personality was opposite to Bron's cool and serious demeanor. She was a brilliant match against his dark hair and blue eyes. Their children will be gorgeous.

"I'm really, really sorry," she said.

"What did you do, Delly?" Haymitch asked. She didn't answer. I forgot that both Haymitch and Bron were not aware of her duplicity.

"Don't add to my stress, Delly," I informed her. "Now is not a good time to appease your guilty conscious." My anxiety was already elevated. It compounded to the already stressful situation as I worried over Peeta. I closed my eyes to clear my mind but the memory was too fresh to forget.

* * *

_**Flashback – early that morning.**_

_I groaned in pain. My legs and arms ached. I'm too tired to open my eyes as I felt the ground below me. My pillow felt hard beneath my head. The smell of oil and leather aroused my senses. As I opened my eyes, I found Guardsmen Jonah's face before me. He looked worried and scared as he knelt in front of me with his rifle in his hands. _

"_What the hell are you doing in my room?" I moaned. "Get the hell out of my room before I rip your throat out."_

"_Um…Johanna," Peeta's voice registered in my foggy brain. I looked up to see his face hovering above me. My head lay on his lap. "You're not in your room."_

"_What the fuck," I groaned as I tried to sit up. My head exploded and I had to close my eyes to alleviate the woozy feeling radiating from my stomach. I wanted to throw up as bile rose from my throat. I felt hung over but knew it was not the case. I didn't recall drinking a drop of alcohol from the night before. The last leg to the Capitol had me in edge that I promised myself to stay clear from indulging in alcohol just in case Peeta needed me._

"_Hey, calm down," he scolded me. "Take a minute before you get up." I took three deep cleansing breaths and opened my eyes. We're sitting at the dining car. Outside the window, the sun peeked the horizon. It's early morning. Really early for my taste._

"_What happened?" I asked in annoyance._

"_What's the last thing you remembered?" Peeta inquired, his tone calm as he rubbed the back of my neck. I leaned in accepting his comfort. Since coming back home from the Capitol, I avoided any touch from another human being; especially any man who was not Peeta. I knew that I could trust Haymitch and Bron for that matter, but my anxiety of being touched triggered a flashback. I felt safe with him to not take advantage of me in any way. I loved him for it. _

"_We were sitting in this room listening to some awful music from the Capitol," I recalled. "Delly and Bron were arguing about setting the date for their wedding. After that I think I blacked out."_

"_Me too, the last thing I remembered was carrying Katniss back to our room and the next I knew, I woke up from you screaming out here in here an hour ago." I looked around and realized we were perched on a sofa._

"_What happened?" I lay back down onto his lap as he took my hand. I was trembling._

"_Well, Jonah found you walking around looking for me," Peeta explained. "You're screams woke me up. And I found Jonah and Eli trying to calm you down. I think you were trying to escape from the Capitol again." I nodded my head in understanding. I recalled the night before; how both Peeta and I were in the train reliving a moment during our time at the Capitol. My arm still ached from the needle that Kara administered to sedate me._

"_I don't understand how I just blacked out like that," I admitted. "It wasn't like we were drinking alcohol last night." Peeta looked out to the closest window. The sun touched the windowpanes causing it to glow bright. It was a brand new day. "Peeta, what's wrong?"  
_

"_I think I have any idea," he said, his tone was sad. "Just hear me out before you do any you'll regret. Promise me that'll you not get mad."_

"_I can't make that promise," I said. I'm agitated and antsy as if bugs were crawling all over my skin._

"_Just promise me," he asked._

"_Okay." I closed my eyes and waited._

"_Hey, Jonah." Peeta turned to our bodyguard. "Can you leave us alone for a bit? I'll call if I need help."_

"_Are you sure, Peeta," he inquired. _

_I opened my eyes in exasperation. "We don't need a babysitter, scram," I bellowed. Peeta rubbed the back of head. It was comforting. _

"_Johanna, he's only doing his job." He turned to Jonah who brush his knees and stood up. "I'm sure."_

"_Just give me a holler and I'll come running." He turned and walked away._

"_So what's the skinny?' I asked with impatience._

"_I think we were drugged," Peeta said. I sat up so fast my head spun. "Whoa, there. You all right?"_

"_What do you mean, we were drugged?" A ball of fear and anxiety bubbled in my stomach. "Who would do that to us?"_

_He remained quiet for a few seconds, as his announcement felt like a knife was lodge onto my back. "Delly." He sighed and continued. "I remembered that she was the one who filled our drinking glass at dinner." He shrugged his shoulders. "When I woke up my throat felt dry." I recalled the times we woke up from blacking out and feeling parched. Peeta and I realized that our water was laced with drugs as we woke up hours later not remembering the bruises and cuts we found on our body. They were torturing us for information in our drug-induced state. Who knew what else they were doing to us. I shook my head in revulsion. It was bad enough that I was sedated the night before._

_I sputtered, "She wouldn't do that to us. She knew how we hate to be drugged like that...how we were treated at the Capitol. Drugging our food and water. Having no control and feeling helpless."_

"_She meant well, Johanna."_

"_How can you say that?" I seethed in anger. "She's supposed to be our friend. Someone we trusted inexplicitly. How can she do that to us?" I was close to tears but anger was forefront in my emotions. "You should be pissed. I'm so angry I can spit nails. This was a betrayal of our trust and our friendship."_

"_Johanna, I'm mad too but this is Delly," he said as he hugged me. I was trembling so hard my teeth clattered. "She took care of us while everyone left us behind. She didn't abandon us in 13. She probably knew how difficult this was for…coming back to—"_

"_I don't care," I sneered at him. "I feel violated again." I wiped tears that threatened to fall from my eyes with the back of my hand. "How can she do that to us?" I repeated. I woke up yesterday morning finding the puncture wound from the needle and panicked. Peeta disclosed the incident of how it got there. It was hard to accept that we were having hallucinations of our captivity. I understood the need to sedate me the night before but this was different. I was thankful that he was there for me as always. _

_Peeta sighed. He knew to speak when necessary and kept silent for a few minutes letting me stew in my anger. "Maybe you should be angry with the right person. She couldn't have thought of this on her own." Just as I as about to ask what he meant, Katniss barged into the compartment. Her hair was wild and eyes wide open. She still wore the clothes she had on last night for dinner._

"_Peeta." She ran to us. "I woke up and you were gone."_

"_Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you like that." She placed an arm over his shoulder._

"_What's going on? Johanna, are you crying?" she asked. Concern etched on her face. I was too angry to speak. Words were useless as I bit my lower lip from screaming._

"_What was the last thing you remembered?" Peeta asked as he let me go from his warm embrace. Katniss blinked her eyes to focus then spoke._

"_We were here in this room listening to some music when…" she trailed off. "I don't remember but the next thing I knew I'm in bed and you're not there. I think I blacked out."_

"_She drugged you too?" I said, my teeth were clenched together. 'How could she?' My mind repeated over and over._

"_What are you two talking about?" She was tired and confused. Peeta was resigned and sad. _

"_Peeta thinks that Delly slipped some sleep syrup in our water last night. That's why you can't remember the rest of evening," I explained. _

"_Oh," she replied. I was shocked at her response._

"_Oh? That's all you're going to say?" I demanded. "She drugged us!"_

"_Are you sure it was Delly? I mean it could have been Kara," she surmised. "Where else could she have gotten that idea?" I hadn't thought of that. However, I was still upset since she did it anyway._

"_No, it was Delly," Peeta confirmed. "I remember because she was the one that handed our glasses of water to us._

"_Why would she do that?" Katniss asked._

"_I don't care why she did it, I care that she did do it." I exploded as I stood up and started to pace. I felt suffocated and smothered by the size of the compartment. It was closing in on me._

_Peeta approached me and placed an arm around my waist. I leaned in absorbing his strength and comfort. "Take a deep breath and count to 20."_

"_No," I responded shaking my head. No breathing exercise was going to alleviate my anger and frustration. I knew what breathing exercise he was trying me to do but each breath felt like I was inhaling fumes of smoke and ash. The dryness in my throat didn't help matters. I couldn't breathe through my nose without choking. I struggled as his arms were clasped around me. I didn't want comfort. I relished in the feeling of anger. It was better than the helplessness I felt from Delly's betrayal. But Peeta's arms were strong as he kept me steady._

"_Take a deep breath and count to 20, Johanna," Peeta insisted. His voice was calm. There was no anger in his tone. His deep blue eyes were soft. "Breathe through your mouth if you have to." I closed my eyes and concentrated on his voice. 'I don't understand how the both of you are so calm about this."_

"_What Delly did to us was wrong, I agree with you," he answered back. "But this our Delly. Sweet and harmless Delly who acted out of love for us."_

"_Peeta's right, Johanna," Katniss agreed with him. "Her method was unacceptable but she didn't do this to us to hurt us."_

"_I'm surprised that she actually thought she could get away with this," Peeta smirked._

"_Well, she isn't" I retorted. "I intend to give her a piece of my mind right now. Drag her out of bed and smack her around."_

"_Johanna, it's more than likely that she'll confess to us sooner than you think." Peeta laughed. His laughter caught me by surprise. "Think about it. Do you honestly think she can keep this to herself without her feeling bad about it? I bet she'll cave and tell us. Just let her stew all morning and I'll guarantee that she'll break."_

"_You both are too forgiving," I grumbled._

"_She's family, Johanna," Peeta reminded me. "There's enough anger in me to last a lifetime. I'm tired, heartsick and too anxious to remain angry all the time. I can't afford to be angry. I'm afraid I'll have an episode and hurt one of you. Especially you girls."_

"_You would never hurt us, Peeta," Katniss said as she hugged him. "I'm certain of it."_

"_Certain enough to trust me with you life?" Peeta asked. "Tell my truthfully, would you be able to forgive me I ever hurt you in anyway."_

"_Yes," Katniss answered without any hesitation. "Because I truly believe that you would never hurt us, ever. Not intentionally."_

"_You're the kindest and sweetest person I have ever known, Peeta," I added. "You make me frustrated sometimes, but you would never hurt us."_

"_Then you should be able to do the same with Delly," he said. "I'm not saying that what she did to us was wrong but…she loves us. I have no doubt that what she did was out of love. Love makes us do crazy things we would never do." He took both Katniss and my hands into his. "There's enough hate and anger out there. We need each other. All three of you are all I have left in this world. Be angry and upset with her if you want. Yell and scream at her. But please don't let Delly's misguided sense of protecting us break our family."_

"_I'm so angry Peeta," I admitted. "My trust in her has been…shaken. How do we know she won't do that again?"_

"_I think you'll find a way to have Delly make it up to you," Peeta smirked and winked at me. "And to make sure she never do that again." I smiled at him since he knew me so well. _

**_End of Flashback – _**

* * *

"We're okay, Delly" I assured her. "But you're going to make it up to me. And to Peeta and Katniss." She nodded her head.

Suddenly, a loud siren rang into the air. We stood up in curiosity. We rushed out room as the Guardsmen filed into the corridor. "What's going on?" I asked.

"It's a security alert," Delly answered.

"What do you mean?" Haymitch asked as he watched several men in dark green uniforms ran around the corridors. Green were designated for hospital and medical security uniforms. It was known that colors uniform were established for easy identification. Black for the Guardsmen [in honor for the MockingJay's army], blue for local enforcement and dark gray for prison security. Though she employed the Guardsmen, President Paylor herself uniformed her own military security detail in red.

Several red lights flickered in the hallway. The white corridor was flooded with red beams blinking on and off. After a few seconds the siren faded.

"It's an alarm to let security know that one of their patient is missing and everyone is suppose to be in their post for a lockdown." I remembered the sound so well when Peeta and I were recuperating back in the Capitol. It never happened often but the first time it occurred I had a panic attack. I had to be sedated. It was worse for Peeta. He suffered a flashback and was quarantined for several days.

"So we're stuck in here until the emergency is over?"

"Or until the hospital is secured and the escapee is discovered," Bron explained.

"This may take a while," Delly supplied.

"For how long?" Haymitch inquired.

"All day if necessary," Delly informed us. "Nevertheless, I just hope that Katniss and Peeta are okay?" Before I can voice my concern two security guards approached us with tasers pistols in their hands. His dark green uniform and dark black boots signified their employment; medical security guards.

"Get back in the reception room," He commanded us.

"What's going on? Haymitch demanded.

"One of our _residents_ has escaped," he answered back. "She's volatile and dangerous. She attacked one of our nurses and is loose."

"Awesome, she picked a perfect day to go psycho on us," I snickered. "We need to know if my friend is okay. He's visiting one of your patients on this floor."

"They should be okay as long as they stay inside the rooms. As of now, we are in complete lockdown for the time being," he explained. "Please go back into the reception area and stay there until further notice."

"No way," I said. "I need to know that they're okay." I took a step towards the corridor where Peeta and Katniss entered. The guard raised his free hand displaying a stop motion.

"Please Miss, I don't want to contain you but if I have to I will use force," he said.

"Oh, boy. Do you even know who you're talking to?" Haymitch snorted at him.

"Yes, I know who you are, Ms. Mason. I don't want to hurt you—" he started as he raised his taser at me.

'_He's got to be kidding me.'_ There was no way I was going to stay here not knowing how Peeta and Katniss were doing. My knife was confiscated at check in as my hand reached down to my leg when Bron stood in front of me.

"I'm Lieutenant Bron Masters of the First Guardsmen, you will place your weapon down on the floor," he spoke as he and the rest of the Guardsmen followed suit. "We came here to escort Peeta Mellark and Katniss to this facility."

"I'm aware of your visit but hospital policy—" the medical security guard started to recite.

"I don't care about your hospital policy," Bron spoke, his voice clear and loud. "You are impeding me from my job which is to safeguard Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen during this visit. And unless you want to answer to President Paylor should anything happen to them, I suggest you stand aside and let us find them. Now." For a few seconds we were in a stand still. Bron and the Guardsmen stood tall and not backing down when several hospital guards appeared raising their taser guns at us. They were greater in number but it was obvious who had better fire power as the Guardsmen stood with their rifles. The odds were not in their favor.

"Shouldn't you be looking for your patient instead of wasting time with us?" Delly spoke. "As I see it you're not doing your job." The lead security personnel looked at Delly. "You're wasting precious time with us when you should be canvassing this hospital looking for your patient." She was right and they knew it.

"Let's go," the lead security guard said and walked past us.

"Come on," I spoke as I ran down the corridor hoping that Peeta and Katniss were okay. The long hallway seemed endless. I was about to sigh in relief when I discovered the door that Peeta and Katniss entered was locked. "Fuck," I yelled.

"What's wrong?" Haymitch asked as he ran beside me. He tried to turn the knob.

"It's locked," I answered. I pounded on the door even though I knew it was futile. The metal door was thick and solid. "We need to find another way in." Without any hesitation I took off leaving everyone in the corridor. My anger dissolved and was replaced by fear and anxiety. I hoped that the alert didn't involved Peeta as I imagined Eva escaping and taking him hostage once again. _'If that bitch hurt him, no one on Panem is going to stop me from killing that bitch,' _I swore to myself.

* * *

**Katniss POV –**

"Kara, he's having an episode," I screamed as walked towards the two-sided mirror. Peeta had his eyes closed and his fist clenched. He was chanting to himself so low that it was undecipherable. Eva was speaking to him. The audio coming from the room was clear as if I was in there with them.

"Come over here, Peeta," she said. "I knew that you would come to me." I seethed in anger. He raised his arms and wrapped them around his waist as he swayed back and forth.

"No, I can't…" he mumbled as his breath hitched. Suddenly, an alarm rang in the air startling me. Peeta closed his eyes and started to pant.

"What the hell is that?" I screamed at Kara. She picked up a phone and spoke for a few seconds. I raised my hands to my ears to cover them. The noise reminded me of the drills in District 13. Memories of time in 13 flooded my mind but suppressed it. I had to focus on Peeta. He was on his knees with his hands covering his ears as tears flowed from his eyes. The two guards ran out the room leaving the two of them alone closing the door behind them. "Where the hell are they going?"

"Katniss, calm down." I heard a voice from behind me. I was too focused on Peeta that the voice didn't register in my brain if it was Dr. Aurelius or Kara.

"Damnit," I yelled as I ran out the room. The door was locked from the inside. "Peeta, open the door." I pounded on the wood hoping to attract his attention. "Peeta, it's me Katniss. Please open the door." Kara stood beside me as she tried to calm me down.

"We're on lockdown, Katniss," she explained. "You can't go in there."

I shoved her hard. "He's alone in there with that bitch and he's having and episode. Do something." Fury and rage filled me. He was alone again with his abuser.

"I'm sorry, Katniss—" Dr. Aurelius started.

I grabbed him by shirt and shoved him against a wall. His head made contact causing him to groan in pain. I didn't care since the pain in my heart threatened to explode in my chest. I could only think of Peeta. "If anything happens to him, I swear I will kill both of you." Kara gasped in shock. "Do you hear me?" I released him when he nodded his head. "Get them to open the door." Dr. Aurelius walked over to the room and picked up the phone. The alarm went silent as red lights flooded the corridor. He replaced the receiver back on the wall.

"It's going to take a few minutes for the security to open the door," he explained.

"We don't have a few minutes," I screeched. Impatient, I walked back to the room and watched Peeta. He still had his head in his hands.

"Not real, not real," he repeated several times.

"He'll be fine," Dr. Aurelius tried to assure me. "Take a deep breath and calm down."

"Shut up, he isn't fine," I roared. "Look at him." I didn't know how but my body and head responded to Peeta's endless chant. His tirade sent me on overdrive that I knew I wasn't thinking clearly. I reacted. I picked up a metallic chair and swung it towards the window. It bounced off and landed with a thud on the floor. I was wild and desperate. Every moment he was alone sent me into a frenzy. From somewhere in the building a loud explosion was heard.

"Katniss, stop," Kara warned me. "You're only going to hurt yourself. The window is shatter proof." I picked it up and threw it again. I'm focused on trying to get to Peeta that I didn't realize that Johanna and everyone else entered the room.

"Katniss, where is Peeta?" Johanna asked, her voice sounded frantic. Her eyes grew wide like saucers as she peered across the window. Johanna reacted without thought or consequence. She picked up another chair and flung it as well. The glass remained intact but had miniscule cracks on the surface.

"Why is Eva alone with him?" Delly screamed. "Where are the guards?" _'They baled that's where they went,' _mymind answered but my voice was silent.

"Johanna, Katniss stop," Haymitch screamed. "What the hell is wrong with you people?" He addressed Kara and Dr. Aurelius. "He was never to be alone with her. What part of my conditions did you not understand?"

"I don't know why they left," Dr. Aurelius said. Another chair bounced off the window. Johanna and I continued to fling chairs on the window. "They're out of control," Dr. Aurelius voice barely registered in my mind. "I need security in Observation Room 3A stat. Bring 2cc of morphine."

"That's not necessary," Haymitch advised him and turned to me. "Stop it, Katniss. You need to calm down." He grabbed both my hands but I broke free.

"Leave me alone," I yelled. I looked around to see if there was anything more heavy and solid to break the window. Johanna continued to throw the chair on the window. I was desperate and hysterical that I didn't realize that I walked over to Bron and grabbed his rifle. One piercing shot was all it took as the window shattered into a thousand pieces. Without thinking of my own safety, I dropped rifle on the ground and leaped across to get to Peeta. By this time, he was knocking his head on the floor while he was still on his knees. A large red bruise formed on his forehead.

"Peeta, stop," I screamed as I knelt in front of him taking him in my arms. "You're hurting yourself." He struggled against me for a few seconds. My hands roamed all over this body to check whether any glass grazed him. I winced as I realized that shooting the window was not a brilliant idea, but I was losing my mind being separated from him with Eva close by. She was cuffed to the chair but I couldn't take any chance that she would get her hands on him. She would never lay a finger on him ever again.

"Not real, not real," he continued his ranting.

I grabbed his face with both hands. "It's me, baby. It's Katniss." His eyes were dilated and red from crying. "I'm real. Look at me. I'm real." I took one of his hands and placed it on my chest. My heart hammered so fast that it thudded against my chest. "Real, Peeta, real." He blinked several times before his eyes became focused. I loved his blue eyes that mesmerized me. The way it would crinkled when he smile or laughed. The predatory, possessive and sultry look when he made love to me with his hands, finger and mouth. His eyes never waivered as he pleasured me. For the longest time I would turn my head whenever he looked into my eyes. Each glance hypnotized me causing my heart to flutter. They were the same blue eyes I loved but these before me showed pain and fear. My heart broke seeing him in pain.

"Katniss?" I smiled so wide that my cheeks ached. His crystal blue orbs softened as he recognized me.

"Yeah, it's me, baby," I responded as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I felt him clutched onto my waist with his trembling arms. He was warm and sweaty. His heart raced against my own. "You're safe. I'm here with you. Always."

"Where are we?"

"You don't remember?" I asked as I pulled back staring into his eyes. He shook his head. "We're in a hospital in District 1, remember? We're here to see…"

"Get away from him. He's mine!" Eva screamed as she tried to get up from her chair. "Get the fuck away from him." Peeta's eyes left mine as he stared past my shoulders.

"She's real?" I nodded my head. I waited for him to recognize his surroundings. There was glass everywhere. He looked over the shattered window. Everyone was staring at us.

"Shut the fuck up," Johanna bellowed. Haymitch and Jonah were both holding her back. "Let go of me. I'm going to teach that bitch a lesson for hurting Peeta."

"Get in line, Johanna," Delly screamed as Bron held her by the arms. My eyes grew wide in reaction from their hostility towards Eva. I knew that they hated her for what she done to my boyfriend, but their ferocious devotion warmed my heart.

Their screams distracted Eva. She looked scared.

"Everyone clear the room," Dr. Aurelius boomed. "Get them out of here." With great protestation, they dragged Delly and Johanna as they kicked and screamed for justice. For Peeta. Haymitch nodded his head towards me. I mouthed 'thank you' in return. Peeta stood up and held me in his arms. I melted into him, feeling safe.

"Peeta," Kara addressed him from the across the window. "Maybe it's best that we do this another time."

"No," Eva screamed. "Untie me. I need him."

I turned around was about to approach when Peeta grabbed my arm. "Katniss, I'm okay." He looked at Kara. "I'm okay, I need to do this now." He took my hand and gripped it tight. "I want Katniss here with me."

"I don't think…" Dr. Aurelius started.

"I don't care what you think," I screamed at him. "He wants me with him and I'm staying. And there is nothing you can do about it."

"Kara, it is not a good idea for her—"

"You heard her," Kara interjected. "Do you honestly think you can separate them now?" She folded her arms about her. "They're better together than they are apart. They always have been." I smiled at her. She knew even before I did that it was true. I could never be parted from Peeta now more than ever. He was a part of me.

"No, he belongs to me. He's mine," Eva screamed. She was frantic and angry. "She can never love him like I do." I stepped in front of him hoping to shield him from her hungry gaze. She looked at Peeta, licking her lips as she gazed at him like a piece of meat.

"No, you wanted to possessive him," I corrected. "That is not love."

"Katniss, don't let her bait you," Peeta spoke from behind me, his voice was gentle as he wrapped an arm around my waist laying it against my stomach.

"You don't have to do this." I replied. He pressed me closer to his chest as I half cover him while his head rested on my shoulder. My anxiety disappeared as it was replaced by the gentle touch of his hand on my belly. I place my own trembling hand over his.

"I'm okay, Katniss," he said as he tipped his head towards my temple. Both arms were wrapped around me. "I need to do this. I can do this." He released me against my protest while he grabbed my hand. My feet felt like lead as he walked over and sat down before Eva. I sat on the arm of the sofa needing to be near him as he gripped my hand. I gazed at the woman who had tortured and abused Peeta months before. My anger was simmering as I remembered Peeta recalling his abuse while in her captivity. Images flashed from my mind of her sexually assaulting him against his will. Taking away his innocence that he had saved for me. He could have easily found comfort from many women out there who was deserving of his love and passion. Peeta remained devoted to me even when I rejected him, flaunted a relationship with Gale and avoided him. I knew that I could only share that kind of intimacy with Peeta. He was the only one I wanted, lusted and desired. And she took that away from him, from us.

"Eva," Peeta addressed her. "You remember Katniss. Katniss Everdeen, the love of my life." He kissed my hand. Warmth filled my belly.

"No, you love me," she screeched. She tried to stand but her bindings prevented her. "She never loved you. She was with Gale while you were with me at the Capitol." I flinched at her accusation. It was true that clung on to Gale those miserable months while we were in 13. But I had thought that Peeta was lost to me forever. "She can never make you happy. We could be happy together. I love you."

"You hurt me, Eva," Peeta stated. "What you did to me…rap…assaulting me. I didn't want you. Not the way I wanted Katniss. She's the only one I have ever wanted."

"How can you say that," she responded. "Do you remember back at the Capitol? I felt you want me. You can't deny that." She snickered at me. "You would have been mine by now."

Peeta turned his head in shame. "Not like that."

"Yes, you did. I know you did." As if a light bulb turned on in my head, I knew now why Peeta hate being touched even by me. Why he didn't get aroused when I touched him. Peeta reacted like any teenage boy would react when touched by a female. His mind and heart may not have wanted her advances but he was still a boy, a hormonal teenage boy.

"I see that you still have my gift," she snickered. "I knew those earrings looked good on you." Peeta's hands reached over to his right ear lobe.

"I can't remove them," he spat. "Kara told me that she needs a special laser tool to remove them. Otherwise, I would have removed them sooner."

"Don't worry," I interjected. "Those are the first things we remove once we're in the Capitol." I hated the earrings. They were a constant reminder of his assault.

"I enjoyed putting them on you." She leered at him causing Peeta to squirm as he blinked his eyes several times. He raised both of his hands palming his eyes with clenched fists.

"I'm sorry, Katniss," he said as tears formed in his eyes. "I didn't want to but I couldn't…" He stood up and ran out the room. I followed him out the corridor. Eva's laughter echoed in the room.

"He's mine, he always be mine. And he's so damn good."

"Shut up," I screamed at her.

"Oh God, I think I'm going to throw up," Peeta said as he placed a hand over his mouth.

"Peeta, wait," I yelled. "Don't run from me." I caught up to him forcing him to turn around and face me as I grabbed both his arms. "Stop running."

Kara appeared in the hallway. "Peeta, you can stop now."

"Just give me a minute, okay?" he said.

"Can you leave us for a second?" I asked her. She nodded her head and turned back into the Observation Room.

"I'm so sorry," he sobbed. He grabbed his waist protecting himself as the small of his back leaned against the wall. "I couldn't help myself."

"There's nothing to apologize for." I took a step forward afraid that he would run again. The distance between us disappeared. "Peeta." I stood before him placing myself between his legs.

"I felt dirty when she touched me," he spat. "I couldn't stop her. She kept touching me and I didn't want her to."

I looked deep into his eyes. There was shame and guilt etched on his face. "Is that why you can't…couldn't?" I didn't finish my sentence in case someone was listening. He nodded his head. "It isn't your fault. What happened at the Capitol isn't your fault."

"But I should have controlled myself. I didn't want her but I came when she touched me," he said, disgust riddled his face. "After that one time I felt so guilty that I couldn't…get aroused anymore. I mentally castrated myself as Dr. Aurelius told me. And the drugs they pumped into me didn't help. What kind of man am I if I can't…with you and not remember how she...and then she abducted me?" Drugged me so I couldn't move or talk. She…she…"

"What Peeta? What did she do to you?" I knew the answer but he needed to acknowledge that she forced herself on him. And even if he did react like any normal boy should, it was a biological reaction in the midst of her violating him.

"She…she…"

"Say it Peeta. She hurt you."

"She raped me!" he wheezed the words between clenched teeth. Hearing the words coming out of his mouth broke my heart even more. "Don't touch me." He twisted out of my grasp. "How can you want me after what she did to me?" He was trying to control his anger and fear. His wristband displayed orange and I knew he was close to triggering an episode.

"Peeta." I embraced him and willed my strength, courage and love I had for him. He suffered an abuse that traumatized in heart, body and spirit. It didn't help that I had rejected his love as he offered it to me with no conditions or any expectations for it to be returned. He loved openly and graciously. I denied it and it shattered him. "She took you against your will. You were a young teenage boy being aroused by an experienced older woman. I don't blame you for, you know reacting to her. It's only natural."

I remembered Kara parting words. _"One day he going to have to realize and acknowledge what Eva did to him. He was raped Katniss and sometimes, the body reacts to stimulation whether it was mutual or not." _I didn't 'understand then what she had meant. But now I knew.

"But I didn't want to," he confessed. "The only times I ever came was when I fantasized being with you. It was always you touching me. Not her." I held him in my arms. His body trembled. I felt all of him from head to his crotch. He wasn't aroused but he was solid and firm.

I smiled at his confession. "So you masturbated thinking of me." I teased him, whispering into his ear, as I made sure my lips grazed his soft earlobes. He smiled and shivered in response. "Have you been fantasizing about me when you touch yourself?"

He looked at me like I grew two heads on my shoulders. "Katniss, all my fantasies and dirty thoughts were about you. I've been dreaming of making love to you since I turned 14." I couldn't say that sex was a priority when I was 14. I never thought about it until Peeta Mellark entered into my life. Now, I can't stop thinking and obsessing about it. With him and only him. But now was not the time to discuss my fantasies and lustful thoughts of my ravaging him until I couldn't walk. _'God help me, I'm beginning to sound like Delly's favorite Capitol programs.'_

We held onto each other for several minutes. Two nurses passed us giggling to each other. "They so cute together," one remarked. "She so lucky," the other replied. I am lucky. We both were.

"So do want to leave?" I asked him. He was reluctant to release me from his warm embrace as his strong arms steeled around me. He shook his head in reply.

"No, I came here for a reason," Peeta sighed. "I want her to know that I'm okay. That I never wanted her."

"And what about her accomplice?" He finally released me and I sighed missing his arms that comforted me. It was selfish but I needed his comfort. I was ready to leave and get back on the train, takeoff our clothes and lie down next to him until we reached the Capitol. The need to have him to myself was overwhelming.

"That too," he admitted. "I need to move on in my life without her haunting our lives. Our bed." I shivered at his admission. "I want more for us." I cupped his face with one hand while my thumb rubbed his lips. "Just promise me that you won't touch her."

"I can't make that promise."

"Katniss, please," he begged. "This is between her and me. I need to take back what she took from me." I didn't understand. "I lost myself in the Capitol and she was a big part of my trauma. I don't want to be scared and angry at her anymore." Then I realized what he was trying to retain, his dignity and self worth.

"Excuse me, Peeta," Kara interrupted us. "I'm sorry to interrupt you but, you ready to come back inside or do want to go back to the train?'

"I'm okay, Kara. I'm ready to go back and face her," he answered. I grabbed his hand. "Can Katniss stay with me?" Kara nodded her head.

"I never doubted that you didn't want her to be with you." She smiled at us as she stared at our hands clasped together. "It's against hospital policy but I'm not about to argue with you and your girlfriend." I felt like I was going back into the arena. "Just so you know, the guards are back. I'm sorry that they took off," Kara stated. It didn't matter to me because I was going back with him.

Eva was still seated at the chair. She had a smug look on her face. I wanted to slap the look off her face. It faltered when she saw me.

"What is she doing here? I want to talk to Peeta, alone," she demanded.

"Katniss is not going anywhere," he insisted. "She stays if you don't like we'll walk out of here." She ruminated his demands for a few seconds. I could see the cogs in her head working overdrive. Regardless of her decision and that she was bound to the chair, I wasn't about to leave Peeta's side. She desisted.

"You look good, Peeta. Really good. I see that you've gained some weight back. You're time in District 4 looks good on you." How she knew he was at 4 surprised me. She leered at him. I hated her for looking at him that way as if she was reliving a memory. She was undressing him with her eyes. I wanted to gouge them out.

"You're wasting my time. What do you want from me?" He was direct and straight to the point.

"You were never much for foreplay," she goaded us.

"Shut up," I yelled taking her bait. Peeta held me back as I took a step towards her.

"Katniss, she's only trying to rile you. Don't let her win. She can't hurt me anymore."

"Oh, Peeta, ever the diplomat. You have your hands full, Katniss. I know I did," she laughed at her nasty innuendo. Images and memories of the intimacy we shared and Peeta's body reacting to my voice two nights ago filled my mind. _'How dare she talk about him that way.' _

The following evening, he was more amorous than ever but still was afraid for me to touch him. However, I knew I made progress when I woke up with his erection nestled between my thighs as he was spooned against me. He whispered my name in his sleep. I turned to face him being careful not to awaken him. Since that night I was able to convince him to sleep naked in our bed. He resisted at first until I bribed him with the same offer. _'I'm not sleeping naked with you unless you are naked too._'I knew that I had to be patient with him as he had been patient with me.

"I want to make a deal with you," she offered.

"You have nothing to offer that I remotely want," he returned. "I have all that I need right here." He kissed my cheek.

"I know who's been stalking you."

"So you say. I don't believe you." He goaded her.

"You mean besides yourself?" I sneered at her.

"I wanted you for myself. _He _wants to sell you to the sex trade. So I took him as my lover to help me." Her statement paralyzed me. "You don't know how many times I've stopped him from taking you. He had so many opportunities but I can be very persuasive."

"Did he say why he chose me? What did I ever do to this person?"

"He wouldn't say only that you and Katniss ruined his life. He targeted Katniss too but since she's loved by Panem, her absence would be noticed," she shrugged her shoulders. "I think he wants her for himself as well the way he talks about her. I thought once I have you in the Capitol away from _her_…I could get rid of him myself." I remembered the Guardsmen she killed once she snuck back in District 12.

"Who is he?" I demanded as my patience wore thin. The scope of Peeta's situation worsened.

He didn't want him dead but to sell him. This was different. "He has access and resources that I didn't have. I thought if I could use him maybe I could get him to help me keep you, but leaving you alone was the last thing he wanted," she rambled.

"Who is he?" Peeta insisted.

"I won't reveal his identity unless I make a deal with you," she persisted.

"I don't have a say to what happens to you." Peeta remained calm as he spoke but I felt the tremble in his hands.

"But you do. The way I see it I tell you who he is in exchange for my release from this place. Naming my accomplice is my only bargaining chip."

"Never going to happen," I bellowed.

"So you'd rather gamble Peeta's life in exchange for the name of the person who wants to abduct him and sell him."

"And what will you do when you get released?" I asked her. "I know what you'll do. You'll continue to stalk and hurt Peeta even though you know that he doesn't want you."

"I didn't really hurt you, did I?" she asked. "I mean, can you really deny and say that you didn't enjoy our time together?"

"I never wanted you, ever," Peeta screamed. "What you did to me was humiliating and vile. I never wanted anyone but Katniss. I never wanted anyone to touch me that way."

"You know that's not true," she continued.

"It is true because you knew I couldn't…you drugged me," Peeta revealed. "I no longer had any control over my body when you _'Snowed'_ me. If I did have an erection with you, it's only because I thought I was with Katniss." I was horrified by his confession. Every fear and assumption I had verified my suspicion. He was sexually assaulted with the help of a drug that left him mindless and unaware of his surroundings. He reacted to illusions and dreams of us having sex together. He was prompted to arousal with thoughts of me and Eva took advantage of it. Guilt and shame was the reason and cause of his impotency.

"You should have seen him, Katniss," she snickered. "He's got one beautiful cock on him. Long and thick. I had a hard time fitting him in my…"

"That's enough," Peeta yelled so loud it startled both of us. I was worried he was getting agitated as his frustration and shame grew. She enjoyed mentally torturing him. I was so shocked that it didn't register when he walked over to her and leaned into her ear. He spoke to her; his face was hard but calm. The smug look on her face vanished as he continued to speak. I couldn't hear what he was saying. Her eyes grew wide in fear as she looked back at me. She shook her head. The range of emotions on her face went from shock, fear to disbelief.

"No, you would never to that," she said to him.

"Dare me," he challenged her. "I would do anything to get rid of you."

"But you love me," she continued her delusion. "You wouldn't hurt me."

"You don't know me." He was face-to-face and staring into her eyes. "My hands are not clean. I've killed with these." He lifted his hands spreading his fingers palm upwards. I understood him as my hands were colored with blood of the people I killed in the arena and in the rebellion. "But if forced to keep me and my family safe from you and your lover, I'll make sure that you will never see the light of day and live the rest of you life here in this building."

"Peeta," she sobbed. "You wouldn't?"

"I will do anything to protect me and the people I love from you and anyone who wants to hurt them. After raping me you think I'll let you get away from ruining what happiness I had left," he sneered. "You failed to realize that my love for Katniss is unbreakable and true. I've been damaged, broken and tortured by you and Snow. He twisted my love for her and programmed me to hate her…kill her, but it didn't work because she was still here." He pointed to his heart. "She will always be there not matter what anyone does to me."

"I've never stop wanting or loving him even when you…time will heal him and I'll be there," I added.

"But I love you and you're mine. You belong to me." She sobbed as her body trembled and her eyes pooled with tears.

"I belong to Katniss, all of me belongs to her." He leaned back and stared into her eyes.

"I swear to you that this is not a threat but a promise. So you will tell me, do you understand?"

"How do I know that you won't make your threat a reality while I'm stuck here?"

"I swear if you don't' tell me right now, my threat will be reality in about two minutes from now," Peeta threatened her once more.

"Who is he, damnit? Stop playing games with us," I yelled. I was curious as to what he told her but the need to know the name of Peeta's stalker took precedent.

Eva took a deep breath, "Promise me that at least that I will have some protection from him."

"I can't make that promise but I will try to ensure your safety even if I have to go to First Guardsmen to…"

"Fuck, you can't. You can't go to him," she shrieked. Her lips trembled in fear as her eyes grew wide. She really looked scared for the first time

'Why not Eva?" Peeta asked. He was calm as if he knew the answer. "Why not, Eva? He asked again. She fidgeted in her seat rubbing her hands together. "Is it because I know who your lover is?" I gasped in shock and disbelief. Peeta could not have suspected _him _all this time. "Confirm it, Eva. Tell me straight to my face who is your accomplice."

"I can't, he'll kill me. I'm here defenseless. He'll find a way to get to me somehow." Her tears were now uncontrollable.

"Say his name and I'll find a way to protect you." _'What, did he just…'_

"Swear to me, Peeta—" _'How dare she hold him to that promise after everything she did to him?'_

"When I make a promise I keep it, Eva," he informed her. Even against his better judgment and her abuse, Peeta would honor his words and promises. I can attest to that admirable quality and character. The Capitol never truly changed him. He was the same Peeta Mellark that I had hopelessly and helplessly fallen in love with. And I'm still falling.

"It's Gale Hawthorne," she confirmed.

I closed my eyes. Shock, anger and disbelief swarmed in my head. I wanted to scream and run from the truth. It was difficult for me to imagine the sweet young boy who I grew up with had become a monster. I knew the war changed him but didn't realize the magnitude of his metamorphosis. He was unrecognizable.

"How did you meet?" Peeta asked.

"It was by chance that I met him in District 2 when he was newly appointed First Guardsmen. He was charming and debonair, but not my type. And I told him. He didn't care at first." What a blow to Gale's ego that he was once again rejected by another woman. "But for some reason we kept bumping into each other. We flirted for a while but it didn't mean anything to me. Then, he straight out asked me what my type was and he was livid when I told him that was attracted to Peeta. He didn't take my rejection well as you can understand."

"How did you end up hooking up if you rejected him?" I inquired. It didn't make sense that they were together if she rejected him.

"He was persistent in pursuing me. I mean, he is young and handsome so…why not? All my young lovers were blond and blue eyes. He became exception. After a while I caved and we became lovers. Our tryst were meaningless and fun but one night…"

"What?" Peeta asked in curiosity.

"I…I mean…I said your name while we were having sex one night," she sighed. "He was so angry. But…I found out that he's quite a lover when he's angry so I would bait him; tease him. I told him that you were a better lover than him. You should have seen his face. He hated being compared to you." She smiled; she actually smiled at her memories. It was sick and disgusting. I felt sick to my stomach. "Sometimes, he would make me wear a wig. It was a game we would play." _'Oh, shit. I didn't' see that coming.'_ She looked at me. "You know dark hair in a braid and steel gray contact lenses. I bet you can imagine who he's really fucking."

"That's sick. You're both disgusting and vile," I screamed. Their whole relationship was based on lust and a sick obsession for those they couldn't have.

"He loved having sex with me pretending I was Katniss, but one time I made a mistake and asked him to be Peeta," she told us. "It was the only time he refused to have sex with me. I didn't see him for days but once you're with me. You'll always come back for more." Eva winked at Peeta. She was so proud of herself. "He came back apologized and resumed our affair as long as I never talk about Peeta or bring him in our bed."

She shrugged her head. "I guess the allure of playing Katniss was all he needed to come back to me." I looked at her for the first time. With a dark wig and gray lens she could look like me. We were the same build and height. Though I must admit she was well endowed in the chest area than I was. She was a cup bigger than me.

"I mean he didn't have you so…" she continued. "We both didn't have the one we wanted." Bile rose from my throat. "So I struck a deal with him. Tit for tat if you know what I mean?"

"What kind of deal?' Peeta asked. His face was grim and stoic.

"He said he would help me get you for me," she informed him "He said that I could have you for while then he'll sell you to the highest bidder like back when we were in the Capitol. All your bids are still active." Her brow furrowed. "He actually thought I would get tired of you and sell you while he waited for Katniss to get over you so he could be with her." She laughed.

"But he didn't realize that I'd never let him sell you, Peeta because I want you for myself. I would have never let him take you away from me." It was sick world she lived in. My mind couldn't process the words coming out of her mouth but it was real and true or else we would not be in this situation. "He can finally be with Katniss and you with me." I'm so disgusted with her that I didn't realize that Peeta remained quiet besides me. I looked over, his eyes were closed and he was panting through his mouth.

"Peeta?"

"He's dangerous. I'll need protection," Eva stated. There was a real look of fear in her face. It was undeniable. "He probably knows I'm here and it's only a matter of time before he kills me."

"That's enough," Dr. Aurelius voice interjected. "I think you have all the information you need." Two guards appeared releasing Eva from her bindings.

"Wait," she screamed. "I'm not done."

"Yes, you are," Dr. Aurelius stated. "They got what they came for. Take her back to her room." She stood up and took a step towards Peeta.

"Don't even think about it," I spat as I stood in front of him. Peeta didn't flinch or react.

"Peeta, remember your promise," she bellowed as they dragged her away kicking and screaming. "I love you, I'll always love you forever. Peeta!"

"Let's go, Peeta." I grabbed his hand and led him out of the room. Peeta's face remained neutral. He was unresponsive when we met the others at the Reception Room. A crowd greeted us outside as news of our visit somehow reached the media. The rumors were running rampant of our presence in District 1. We had deliberately avoided the crowd in this district since we were not popular or welcomed like in District 2. We were the talk of Panem that night. The ride back to the train felt like years instead of minutes. Johanna and Delly pelted me with questions that I couldn't answer. I was disheartened and too upset to speak. Besides, it was Peeta's secret to reveal. I looked at the days and weeks ahead to gather the strength I need to support Peeta while we were in the Capitol.

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_**AN: Surprise! Didn't think I'd reveal who was stalking Peeta, did you? Thank you for reading this chapter and for hanging on to this latest update. More drama and fluff up ahead in the next chapter. Please review at your leisure. Have a great week.  
**_


	36. Chapter 36 - Secets Revealed

Chapter 36 – Secrets Revealed and Debts Unsettled

_AN: Much thanks and appreciation to the following reviewers: Aqua Rules, Trude, Matainer, RaeLovesYou, shannon, everlasting1286, guest, LACR, District12Divergent and sasharox. Also for those who have alerted and favored my story. You guys are awesome. I'm lovin' this story myself. Lol Mistakes, mine. Characters, Suzanne Collins, Enough said. Now on with the show._

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**Katniss POV - **

I looked at Peeta trying to gauge his feelings. His face was stoic, his eyes blank. I sighed in relief as I gazed at his wristband. The band displayed green. This was not what I had expected for him to react when he found out that Gale Hawthorne was one how had been stalking him along with Eva. As for myself, I'm numb. I couldn't believe that _he_ could be consumed with so much hatred and anger towards Peeta that he would align myself with Eva, a psychotic, rapist bitch. I felt a headache forming as bile rose from my throat. The need to vomit was great but I contained it. It didn't help with Johanna and Delly interrogating us. "Just tell me if Peeta got that bitch to tell him who's stalking him," Johanna asked in exasperation and impatience.

"Just leave them alone," Haymitch said. "They'll tell us when they're ready." I nodded my head in thanks for his patience and understanding. It was a lot to take in. How was I to tell them that my former best friend and hunting partner was the one who has been stalking Peeta and was willing to sell him to the sex trade. How can I tell them that Gale Hawthorne partnered with a psycho woman who had raped Peeta? Guilt already compounded my heavy heart. I shouldn't have encouraged or played with Gales' feelings for me just because I was angry with Peeta for coming back damaged. Snow programmed him to kill me and instead of helping I ran away. I should have helped heal him and recover from his horrific ordeal. I remembered my conversation with Haymitch. He was disappointed in me for not understanding Peeta's situation.

'_If you were in his shoes right now, what do you think Peeta would be doing?'_

I knew the answer and it made me angry for it only proved that I didn't deserve him. Peeta would have stuck by my side, taking care of me as he had always done whether I acknowledged him or not. He was selfless when it came to me.

When we arrived at the train platform Peeta walked up to the train and headed straight to our compartment without a word or second glance to anyone.

"Did he at least find out who is stalking him?" Johanna repeated in frustration. "Well did he?"

"Yes. Will you please leave him alone so he can…don't bother him until he's ready to tell everyone," I shouted. My feet took me our compartment to find Peeta lying in bed with his clothes on. "Peeta, are you okay?" I asked as I climbed on the bed and sat beside him. I cringed to myself as I realized what stupid question that was. He grabbed my hand as other hand felt his forehead. He was warm and sweaty.

"I can't stop shaking," he whispered as I felt his hand tremble in my grasp. He was in shock. I placed his head on my lap. For a few minutes I rubbed the back of his neck as his face was turned towards my lower belly. I loved the feel of his soft blond hair between my fingertips. "You want to talk about it?"

"No, not right now. Can you just hold me?" He sat up. With unspoken words, he unbuttoned his shirt and tugged off his t-shirt underneath. He slipped off his pants keeping his prosthetic leg attached as I removed my shirt as well. I was in the middle of removing my pants when he reached behind me unsnapping my bra. I smiled as his hands pulled me over his body as he leaned backwards. I giggled at his eagerness to press my naked breast on his chest. I lay my head on my usual spot whenever we were in bed together. I sighed as he rubbed his hand up and down my back. I lay one leg over his right leg half straddling him.

My thoughts wandered, as we lay there half naked in a train compartment on our way to the Capitol. I thought about how my life would have been if I had not been reaped with Peeta. Would we have connected despite the reapings? I knew I would have not survived had Prim been reaped after my reaping age. I would have been lost and angry at the world. I would have secluded myself from society, determined to never experience love, marriage and children. Had Peeta approached me I would have shunned and rejected his love. I shuddered to think how my life would have been without him. A life without my Boy with the Bread. I guess this would have happened anyway for no matter whom and what our obstacles we faced, we always gravitated to each other.

An hour or so had passed. I'm not sure how much since my focus was Peeta. My head was on his chest, feeling it move up and down while I listened to the cadence of his heartbeat. I lifted my head to find Peeta fast asleep. His face looked peaceful and angelic with lock of hair brushing his forehead. I kissed his eyelids, tip of his nose and lips. Eva was right that he did gain some weight during our time at District 7 and 4. His cheeks were no longer gaunt from starvation and sleep depravation. Days sunbathing at the beach gave his skin a healthy glow. I could not longer see the outline of each of his ribs and sternum. My fingers didn't scale the protrusion of his bony hipbone. I brushed my hands on his six-pack as it traveled to his belly button. His body was a map of scars and wounds. He has yet to tell me of the scars that lined his right leg and on his back. Every mark and blemish imparted a story. My Peeta was not the carefree young boy I once knew, but a man who had endured so much pain and suffering. He was my man.

A knock on my door interrupted my thoughts and wandering hands. I stood up careful not to wake him. I felt bereft the moment I left his side. My body ached from the loss of his warm skin against mine. The cold air seeped through my pores causing me to shiver. I stared at his sleeping form as I buttoned his shirt. He smelled of lavender. I recalled our quick early morning shower we took together. It was not the amorous shower I had expected but one of comfort as we held and washed each other.

He was tired both emotionally as well as physically. I allowed him to his sleep for I have plans for tonight. It was our last night until we reached the Capitol. Haymitch made reservation in one of District's 1's finest restaurant. The meals we had at the train we nutritious since Peeta and Delly commandeered the galley. Tonight Haymitch released him from hours of cooking and baking. I was grateful for his generosity and thoughtfulness. This break also was due to another maintenance check for the train we were traveling in. Haymitch was quite adamant and diligent in keeping the train safe and functioning in proper order. He was quite fanatical and obsessive about it.

"Katniss, Peeta, it's me Kara. Can I come in for a moment?" she asked as I scrambled to finish buttoning the shirt I borrowed. I felt for my head. My hair was tousled and knotted from Peeta's caresses on my hair. At the last second, I placed a blanket on his half naked form. Kara didn't need to see him half naked sprawled on our bed. His body was for my eyes only. I drew the door open.

"Hey, I'm here to check on Peeta. Take his vitals," Kara uttered. "I would have done it earlier but he darted out of the hospital so quick I didn't have the chance."

"Do you have to right now?" I wondered why she picked this moment. "He's sleeping."

"Oh, I'm sorry," she responded. I noticed that she carried her small medical bag in her hand. "I was hoping that he was awake. I'll just come back later." I was about to shut the door when Peeta sat straight up.

"Katniss," he cried out, he was frantic reaching out on the bed looking for me. "Katniss!"

"Hey, I'm right here, baby," I said as I climbed on the bed and grabbed his trembling body into my arms. "Shh, I'm right here, I'm right here." I rocked his body back and forth. His grip was so tight like he was afraid to let me go. "Did you have a bad dream?" I placed a kiss on the top of his head.

"I…I…couldn't find yo...you…" he stuttered. "Eva and… he to…took you away…from me."

"You had a bad dream." I comforted him. "I'm right here, baby. I'm not going anywhere." Kara stood at the doorway. I gestured her to come in. She might as well check his vitals since she was already here. I didn't want her to disturb us later.

"Hey, Peeta," Kara greeted him. Peeta tightened his arms around me and buried his head on my neck.

"Kara wants to give you a check up, okay?" He shook his head and sighed. "Hey, if you do this now, you won't have to later." He held on to me. "Peeta." His grip got tighter. "I'm not going anywhere. Just let Kara do her thing and then she'll leave." He released me.

Kara took his arms and checked his wristband. "I won't take long, Peeta."

"Okay," he whispered as his eyes never left mine.

"I'm going to replace this one for a new one," she explained as he removed the band. She checked his pulse before latching the new one on his wrist. "Your heart is racing but that's normal since you woke up from a nightmare. Your heartbeat is steady and solid; it's a good sign. How's your leg?"

"A little sore," Peeta answered as he shrugged his head. I wondered why he didn't remove the fake limb if he was hurting. "I'm running out of the lotion soon." She opened her bag and handed him a new bottle. "Thanks."

"Don't worry, when you get your new one at the Capitol, I guarantee you'll like it." She smiled at him. "How about your appetite? Are you keeping down the solids?"

"Yeah, I don't get queasy anymore."

"He's eating all his food, Kara. He's not leaving his meal half eaten anymore," I returned.

"That's wonderful. Hopefully you'll be strong enough to undertake the treatments. We don't have a scale here so I don't know how much you've gained." I didn't tell her or if she noticed that Peeta only ate cereal and fruit this morning. He didn't have any appetite but I couldn't blame him since he was about to confront Eva this morning. "Do you want to have lunch here?" I looked at the clock and didn't realize that we slept through the meal. "Everyone's been waiting for you but I told them to leave you alone. You can't stay here all day until you're going to have to face them." Peeta sighed and turned to me wrapping one arm around me while he buried his face onto my neck. His hand sought for my naked skin underneath his shirt. I shivered at his touch. It was not meant to seduce but for comfort. My body reacted no matter how he touched me.

Kara pulled out a small metallic fork-like pen out of her bag. "You ready to remove those earrings now?" She waved the instrument in front of him. "I would have don't it at the hospital but…"

Peeta turned his head in surprise. "Really?"

"We can do it right now, if you want?"

"Please," he sighed.

"Will it hurt?" I asked. I didn't want any more pain inflicted on him. Though I do find him sexy wearing the earrings, I remembered who and how he got them. I cringed at the memory and contained the anger that threatened to surface.

"I don't care if it does," Peeta objected. "I want them off me now."

"You'll feel a little pinch but other than that it'll only take a second or two to disable the locking mechanism." Two minutes later, Kara swabbed his red lobes with a numbing lotion to alleviate any swelling. "Don't touch your ears for two hours. The redness and swelling will lessen in time. Just don't agitate it." She packed her supplies and closed her bag. "I'm done. But before I go I need you to start taking these." She pulled out a vial with black capsules. Peeta eyed them wearily.

"What are they?"

"They're harmless." She took one pill and smashed it between her fingers. "See it has no harmful effect." The liquid covered her fingers.

"So why do I have to take it?" Peeta's brows crinkled.

"Each capsule has a liquid inside that will attach to the tracker venom. So when we take a whole body scan when we reach the Capitol we can't tell how much venom is still in your system. You'll need to take one pill every day until you get your treatments." She handed the bottle to him. "Unless you want me to keep taking a blood sample every morning?" I knew Peeta hated needles. His reaction whenever she took a blood sample from him was evident that there was a horrific story behind his reluctance and fear of needles.

"Oh, that means no more needles?" he asked. "I just need to take these instead."

"Yes, no more needles." She shook her head. "Just remember to take on every day after your first meal, okay?" She stood up. "Katniss, can I talk to you for a few minutes?" I looked at Peeta. "We won't take long, I promise."

"Go ahead, Katniss," Peeta stated. "I'll wait here for you to come back." He spoke in mid yawn while one hand scratched his chest. I smiled to myself. He looked so cute with his hair tousled from sleep. I lingered for a moment then realized the sooner I talked to Kara the sooner I could return to my half naked boyfriend lying on our bed.

"I'll be right back." I kissed his cheek and walked out the room with Kara. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"Nothing's wrong. I just wanted to know how he's doing," she inquired. "Dr. Aurelius wanted to a full check up back at the hospital, but he left so fast. I think he wanted to have a session with him since Peeta hasn't had one since you left 12."

"He's fine, I guess," I informed her. "I mean, he's been really quiet. All he wanted to do when we got back was go to sleep."

"That's only natural since seeing and talking to Eva was pretty intense," she explained. "It was both physically and emotionally stressful for him. I'm not going to lie to you, but the weeks ahead are going to be hard on him in body and mind."

"What can I do to help him?"

"Don't push him to talk. Let him come to you no matter how frustrated you get with him. Since his ordeal with Eva, he's never been in control on any aspect of his life. He may physically be here but his mind will sometimes go back to this trauma. You know that the closer we get to the Capitol the more he'll keep to himself both physically and emotionally. Just be there for him. You're his anchor to the real world. As he is to you as well. Turn to each other. Remind him that he has a future. With you." I smiled. "The most important thing is to keep talking to him. Let your voice break whatever trance or nightmare he falls into. You and your friends are the only people that he needs. You, Johanna, Delly and Haymitch are the only people he will listen to when rage and fear overwhelm him. He's going to fall. It's inevitable." She placed a hand on my forearm. "And Katniss, don't give up, Ever." I nodded my head. "Now, go back inside. I'll try to keep everyone at bay until you're both ready to come back and meet with everyone."

"Everything all right?" I asked.

"Yeah, Johanna and Delly are besides themselves," she said. "They're going crazy, wondering who Peeta's stalker is." I flinched as she reminded me who was the primary cause of Peeta's nightmares. "Take all the time you need, and Katniss, if you need to talk to someone, I'm available anytime. I'll be back in half an hour to bring your lunch."

"Kara, thank you," I said.

I walked back in the room to find my boyfriend fast asleep again. I took off my shirt and slipped next to him. As my face hovered over his sleeping form, I stared at the boy beside me. No, not a boy but the man next to me. In my eyes he still looked the same. Though the horror and abuse he endured was the past, he carried the memories with him, ever present. I watched as he stared out the window with the haunted look in his eyes. I can never imagine the horror he, Johanna and Annie experienced. The thoughts and my imagination could not be compared to what they really endured in the hands of the Capitol and Snow. I could not fathom the reality of it. Though Johanna told me an inkling of their abuse, I feel that there was more to what they were telling us.

Images of Gale's face filtered through my mind. I cringed in disgust for I never thought of him when I was in bed with Peeta, ever. The sudden purge of anger rose from my mind. He, with great intent, partnered with Eva to cause harm and tired to take Peeta away from me. I will never forgive him.

Peeta and Gale were the opposite of each other. One was the sun with love and hope radiating out of every single pore from his body. He was sunshine, laughter and love embodied with his blond hair, crystal blue eyes and boyish smile. He loved passionately, devotedly and endlessly. The other was the moon. He was moody, sullen and quiet with his dark hair and angry gray eyes. He was dark personified; every thing about him was dark. With his darkness, he loved obsessively, possessively and selfishly. I remembered the days when girls both Merchant and Seam would swoon at his mere appearance. Gale was handsome I can admit, but he reflected too much of my own bitter personality. I saw too much of myself in him and I didn't like what I saw. He suffered living in the Seam, but at least he had family and a mother who doted on him. While Peeta had neither love from his own family and mother. How he came out to be loving and generous was a miracle. With the passage of time and the knowledge of the world as I knew then, I realized that we suffered in our own way. We both had mothers who abandoned and neglected us. But never Peeta stopped believing in love while I avoided and denied it. He didn't have the sense to fall in love with a girl who deserved him. But he loved me just the same and I'll endeavor to never make him regret it.

I lay my hand on his heart. He was warm and firm underneath my fingers. How I love the softness of his skin despite the scars and blemishes peppered all over his body. His eyes flickered underneath his lids. A whimper escaped his mouth as he started to tremble in his sleep. Then I remembered Kara's recent advice.

'_The most important thing is to keep talking to him. Let your voice break whatever trance or nightmare he falls into.'_

"Peeta, honey. You're okay, baby," I whispered in his ear. His lobe was still red from removing the earrings. "Hey, wake up, Peeta. You're safe here with me." He quieted down in his sleep as face relaxed from tension on his brows and mouth. "No one is ever going to hurt again. No one, not Eva, not Gale. They are never going to touch you ever, I promise." I tried to contain the sob that was lodged in my throat. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. _'I swear, Peeta, I'll make him pay for what he did to you.'_

* * *

**Bron POV – **

I sat next to the window as I watched each mile past us. I should be elated since I was on my way back home, but then I realized that home was where Delly is. I had left all my family and friends when I joined the rebellion. My family pretty much disowned me for my defection and betrayal. I took as much money I had earned and inherited and carved a new life without them. I am family-less and without a home. I stand corrected; I have a home in District 12 and family with Delly, Haymitch, Peeta, Katniss and Johanna. I cannot thank them enough for accepting me into their fold. I will be forever grateful and I would do whatever it takes to secure their happiness and safety. I had struggled for months deciding whether I should remain with the Guardsmen. My decision was solidified when Peeta's and those I care for lives were in danger. My position as Guardsmen guaranteed me with access and resources only law enforcement could provide. I never regretted my decision. I just hope to fulfill my promise to keep everyone safe. I had already failed Peeta once with my petty jealousy and insecurity of Delly's love for her best friend. I will never share the bond they had experienced living in 12 but she loves me and that is enough. It was more than enough. The restlessness and impatience weighed upon us as we waited for Peeta and Katniss.

They had still yet to join us. They had secluded themselves in their compartment since returning from the hospital. When Peeta and Katniss returned from seeing Eva, they were pale, shaking and non communicative. Whatever she revealed shook them both. It was apparent. I can only imagine what was revealed. Lunch was awkward as Johanna stewed with impatience. I felt for her since I too was eager to find out who's been stalking Peeta. If what I felt were an ounce of her anger and frustration, hers would be epic. Delly had been quiet throughout the whole ordeal. It was unlike her. Haymitch kept to himself and in quiet reflection. A behavior I had not expected from him. Dr. Templeton was the only person in communication with Peeta and Katniss. She had forbidden everyone and was adamant that we steer clear of them much to Johanna's protest.

I twisted my head in surprise. "Hey, guys," Peeta's soft voice pierced the quiet compartment.

"Peeta," both Delly and Johanna spoke at the same time as they walked over to him. Katniss held his hand while the other clasped on his elbow. They looked haggard as if they had no sleep.

"What the hell, Peeta," Johanna exclaimed.

"Are you okay?" Delly asked in her professional mode. Then, she couldn't contain her fear and anxiety. "I can't stand it anymore, who the fuck is stalking you?" Everyone gasped in surprise because my Delly never used foul language or cursed unless she was stressed or…well that's between her and me.

"I'm sorry," Peeta stated. "I'm having a hard time…this isn't easy for me."

"Guys, please…don't push him," Katniss said as she led him on a sofa. He sat down as we gathered around him.

"Take your time, Peeta," Haymitch said. He nodded his head.

"I've suspected…I mean…" Peeta uttered. "I think I knew for some time who he was. I just didn't know whether I…it was imagination or I was hallucinating."

"Oh, Peeta," Katniss said. "Why didn't you say something?"

"I wasn't a hundred percent sure at first," he admitted. "I've been having hard time distinguishing what is real and what I was imagining. I didn't know if I was just imagining him during the abduction."

"But now you're certain?" Johanna asked.

"Because Eva confirmed it?" Delly added.

"She just confirmed what I had suspected," Peeta admitted. "I didn't want to believe it. I had hope that I was just hallucinating."

"Please don't tell me who I think it is?" Peeta nodded his head. "No! It can't be him." Delly gasped.

"Yes," Peeta confirmed.

"Who the fuck are you two talking about?" Johanna screamed in frustration.

"It's Gale Hawthorne," I answered for Peeta. I remembered my conversation with Delly with her suspicions. She didn't want to believe that one of her own from District 12 would hate Peeta that much to do him harm. But love does crazy things to one own state of mind. Take me for example, I uprooted my life from the Capitol and started a new one with Delly at District 12. My father reached out to me and said that if I were willing to give up my life as a Guardsmen, my family would open their arms and welcome me back home. I chose Delly. With that decision in mind, my family reacted as I expected. The door to the Masters residence was forever closed to me. I never looked back.

"I fucking knew it," Johanna bellowed as she paced the compartment. "I suspected a couple of people, but it all makes sense now. He's has reason to want Peeta out of the way. But what a fucking asshole! He partnered with that bitch Eva to do his dirty work. Stalking him, abducting Peeta so she can…" She picked up a remote to the train TV monitor and threw it across the room. It shattered in two as it landed on the carpeted floor. "He's so dead. He's mine, Peeta and there is nothing you can do to stop me."

"Get in line," I said. What disgusted me most that I was working for Gale. I looked up to him, respected him. He grew from adversity living in poverty to getting the most coveted offices in Panem as the newly appointed First Guardsmen. He was the symbol of law and order. Panem looked up to him for his bravery and courage during the rebellion.

"Johanna, you can't go after him," Peeta stated. He was calm but the sadness and weight of the discovery was evident in his eyes and posture. I could tell that Katniss was trying to contain her anger. Haymitch was quiet much to my surprise.

"You can't stop me if that bastard dares to get near you," Johanna seethed. "A life for a life, Peeta. I never forgot."

"Johanna, don't," Peeta grimaced. "You don't have to…you owe me anything."

"What are you two talking about," Delly asked. "What do you mean a life for a life, Johanna?"

"Please don't…" Peeta said. He had a panicked look in his eyes.

"He saved me in the Capitol," Johanna started.

"We protected each other," Peeta interjected. "As we protect each other now, always."

'I owe you for…"

"You owe me nothing." Peeta looked uncomfortable. "Please don't rehash history I want to forget."

"I'll never stop owing you or forget what you did," Johanna stated.

"Will you two explain what you're talking about?" Katniss said in curiosity. "I thought we said to have no secret with each other."

"Yes, but this is different," Peeta said. "This is between Johanna and me."

"Yeah, but now it's out there in the open," Delly pouted. "And I'm going to keep bugging you until you tell us."

"The first couple weeks we were in our own cell. I didn't know what was going on. They didn't feed us or give any water. They kept the lights on 24 hours. Sleep depravation was the first agenda. Then, starvation along with switching the environmental controls. One day it is was hot as hell and the next we were freezing our Asses off. Next, after a month they put Peeta, Annie and I in the same cell together." Her voiced hitched as she recalled her memories. "They realized that apart they couldn't break Peeta and me, but they knew his weakness. Peacekeepers would take all three of us into a room and have us watch as they tortured us in front of each other." I cringed at the imagery. Delly had tears falling from her eyes. Katniss wrapped an arm around Peeta's waist.

"Johanna, please stop," Peeta pleaded. "They don't need to know..."

"Yes, they do," Johanna continued. "I told you the methods they used when they tortured me but with Peeta, they would take him and he was gone for hours. They stopped torturing Annie and me, but continued starving us. Annie and I didn't know what they were doing to him. Hours later, Peeta was sent back and I'd see bruises and abrasions on his wrist and leg. I didn't know what they were doing until I saw the needle marks on his arms. When I asked him about it, Peeta never said a word, but I knew they were drugging him. I just didn't realize that they were pumping trackerjacker venom in his system. After a while, he looked and sounded different. It was the first time in months that I was scared of him." She sat down next to him. "Peeta was returned a few hours before and all he did was sleep from the drugs they were giving him. Then one night when we were all asleep, two peacekeepers came into our cell." She gulped and took Peeta's hand. "They knew that Peeta was so drugged that he couldn't or wouldn't be able to help Annie and me. They held us down. One went after Annie and the other pinned me to my bed. They were on top of us, laughing and putting their filthy hands on…"

"Johanna, you don't need to continue," Haymitch said.

"No, I do because you all need to hear this," she explained. "Somehow, Peeta woke up and he first pulled off the one attacking Annie. He just twisted his neck, then, he wrestled the one of top of me. He broke his arm first, then, pounded his head until he was bleeding."

"I didn't know what I was doing," Peeta muttered. "I didn't remember until Johanna mentioned it while we were recuperating at the hospital. I had nightmares about it. I thought I was making it all up in my head. I killed two people with my bare hands."

"You saved me and Annie from being raped," Johanna stated. "Snow was so pleased that he figured out how to finally break Peeta."

"That's when they started using images of Katniss, telling me she was the enemy who needed to be destroyed." Peeta trembled from memories.

"At least no one dared enter the cell anymore. Snow may have been sadistic but had a weird moral code so he declared that no one was to touch us, not without his permission. The next person who touched without his consent was executed right in front of us. He was saving us for the auction. So I thought that after we were rescued that I had saved Peeta from the same fate from Eva. That I saved him the way he save me."

"It's not your fault," Peeta told her.

"But I didn't…she followed you back to 12 and…she raped you." Johanna sobbed. "I couldn't do the one thing I had hoped you never experienced. You saved me and I owe you…"

"You owe me nothing," Peeta repeated.

"Gale colluded with Eva with the intent to sell you," Johanna stated. "But worse of all he allowed her to rape you. That fucking bastard did nothing. I…I want him dead for what he did to you. I want Eva dead for what she did to you."

"You can't touch him. Either of them," Haymitch voiced.

"You can't stop me…"

"Johanna, you can't touch him or accuse Gale of any of this because we don't have any proof that he and Eva conspired to abduct him and sell him."

"But Eva revealed that he's her accomplice," Katniss reminded him.

"And what proof do you have?" he inquired. "All we have is the ranting of a mad, obsessive fan that has been stalking Peeta. The only thing we have is her words, no shred of evidence that it was Gale. We already know she's sick in the head. Any good lawyer will just say that she's making it up."

"Fuck!" Johanna screamed in anger. "So he gets away with it? What about Peeta? He suspected that it was him."

"Peeta, can you undeniably confirm and say in court that it was Gale with Eva the night in question?" Haymitch asked. Peeta shook his head and explained.

"You have to realize that during my time in the Capitol they used…images of…Gale and Katniss together," he responded. "When I first woke up after my abduction, Eva and Gale were having sex in front of me and I first thought it was Katniss…she wore the wig and I thought I was back in the Capitol again. For months while they were injecting me with trackerjacker they conditioned me to believe that Katniss was my enemy. I fought against it for so long so they continued to inject me filling me with images of her killing people, my family and friends." He stopped for a second and took a deep breath. "They finally broke me. They showed me images of Katniss and Gale kissing back in District 12, then having sex to convince me that…they were together." Katniss gasped in horror.

"That's not true," she spat. "I have never been with Gale like that ever."

"That was their endgame. Snow convinced me that she moved on and abandoned me to be with Gale," he continued. "I gave up. I was done." It was more information that I didn't need to know but suspected. I knew how deep his love was for Katniss. It was the same for her as well. If Delly broke up with me, I would be devastated.

"So what can we do?" Delly asked. "I refuse to believe that Gale can get away with this. We have to do something."

"I don't understand why you guys keep going on like this," Johanna ranted. "What we need to do if find the fucker, rip his balls out and kill him."

"Johanna," Haymitch scolded her. "If you do that with no proof of his stalking and with intent to sell Peeta, you'll go to jail."

"I don't care, it will be worth it. I want him dead," she screamed. "He went after Peeta because her ex-boyfriend couldn't handled being rejected and…"

"He was never my boyfriend, damn it," Katniss bellowed in indignation to Johanna's rant.

"You could have fooled me the way acted with him in 13," Johanna accused.

"I thought I lost Peeta for good." Katniss defended herself.

"So what? Just move on to the next guy. You gave up on him," she continued.

"Katniss, Johanna don't fight," Delly yelped. Haymitch stood between them.

"Will you both shut up," Haymitch hollered in tandem to the angry voices that filled the air. "We're not going to do anything until we have undeniable and incontrovertible proof that Gale conspired to do harm to Peeta. Fighting amongst us is futile. We need to focus on Gale."

"He shot him," Johanna screamed. "What more proof do you need?"

"You didn't see him pull the trigger," Katniss reminded her.

"Defending your ex, Katniss," Johanna accused.

"How many times do I have to tell you he was never my boyfriend."

"Neither was Peeta but that didn't stop you from kissing and playing with both of them." Johanna fired back. Katniss flinched at her accusation. "Pretending to be in love with one boy and making out with the another one. At least I only had one lover at a time."

"How dare you insinuate that I…"

"Katniss, Johanna stop," Delly pleaded between the two of them. She tried to grab Johanna by the arm but she deflected her. Haymitch did the same to Katniss and got shoved back in reaction in his attempt to calm her.

"Stay out of this," Katniss yelled at Haymitch and return screaming at Johanna. If this situation wasn't so serious I would have loved to see a cat fight between Everdeen and Mason, but this was not a laughing matter. Peeta's life was at stake.

The girls were livid in their own reaction to the situation. My eyes focused on Peeta. He was close to tears, blinking his eyes several times. His fists were clenched on his side. Then he raised them to cover his ears as he closed his eyes. "Everyone shut up," he screamed so loud. I have never heard him raise his voice with such force that it startled everyone. Kara appeared from nowhere.

"What is going on?" she asked, bewildered and concerned as she approached Peeta. "Peeta, give me you hand." He kept it lodged on the sides of his head. She tried to pry it off him.

"Don't touch me." He swayed back and forth.

"Peeta, I'm sorry…" Katniss started to apologize.

"Everybody shut up," he repeated. "If anyone has the right to decide what happens, it's me. He didn't conspire with Eva to abduct any of you. He didn't drug you and watch her rape you. He did this to me. So all of you should shut up and listen to me." He dropped his hands. "I…I…" he struggled to breath as he gasped while clutching his chest with one hand. "Haymitch is right; we can't go after…him…Gale…unless we have proof. He's already ruined so many lives with his deception and betrayal. He was never my friend or ally, but I would have never…I would have never caused or wished him any harm." He sat down. "All of you fighting each other isn't making this any easier for me."

"Peeta." Katniss sat next to him.

"Please don't do anything that will ruin your life because of me," he pleaded. "Johanna promise me that you won't after him." He stared at her and waited for a response. She gave none. "I know you, as well I as I know Katniss. I don't want to lose you any of you. He took so much already and if you go after him without proof of his involvement with Eva, he will find a way to get away with it."

"Peeta's right," Haymitch concluded. "We need to be smart about this. We have the upper hand since Eva confessed to us. _He_ doesn't know that we know. It'll be an advantage for us."

"Peeta, I'm so angry," Johanna spat. "He brought her into your life."

"What are we suppose to do then," Katniss asked. "Peeta, he was my friend. I trusted him like family. And he hurt you. I don't know if I can…if I see him, I don't know what I would do."

"Katniss, Johanna, please don't do anything," he asked again. "Don't become him. If you kill me, you'll regret it. Don't we have enough blood on our hands? How many more lives do we need to take before we lose ourselves? I may have saved Johanna and Annie, but I still took two lives."

"You were protecting Annie and me," Johanna emphasized.

"And two people are dead. I killed two men. No matter how sick they were I didn't have to kill them. I didn't have the right to take their lives." He sniffed as tears tracked down his cheeks. "Don't think that what Gale did to me doesn't me make made as hell. I want to track him down and kill him, but I don't to go down a path and lose myself. I don't any more blood on my hands. I don't want to remember the lives I took when I was out of control. I lost so much already. I can't lose anymore. I can't lose any of you. Swear to me, Johanna, Katniss that you will do nothing to put yourself in harms way. Right now, he has the law on his side."

"Shit, I just realized," Haymitch grasped the situation on hand. "What am I going to tell President Paylor? She specifically appointed him as the First Guardsmen as reward for his part in the rebellion. He's a hero to most eyes in Panem? Can you imagine the humiliation she will feel for appointing him to one of the highest offices in Panem?"

"Forget Paylor, what I am going to say to Hazelle?" Katniss discerned. "This is going to kill her."

"Paylor has to know what her precious Guardsmen Hawthorne is capable of," Johanna reiterated. "He shouldn't allowed or hold that office. He doesn't deserve it."

"That is why we need to gather evidence and proof of Gale's involvement," Haymitch advised. He rubbed the five o clock shadow already growing on his face. He looked tired and drawn, like he aged in the past 24 hours. We all looked haggard. "We can't afford to make any mistakes. As for Paylor, I'll handle her when I have to. I just can't go to her with our suspicions. We can't go to her and accuse her First Guardsmen without irrefutable proof."

"We have to be vigilante with anyone around us," Peeta cautioned us. He took both Katniss and Johanna's hand and gazed at Delly. "You three are the most important and strongest women I have ever been honored to have in my life. Please don't do anything to jeopardize what happiness and life we've built by seeking revenge and justice in my behalf. I need you to survive this with me. I can't do this without you. All of you."

"Speaking of vigilance, I need to tell you guys something," Haymitch said as he sat down, rubbing his hands together." I've been having this train go through maintenance checks for a reason. This train was equipped and designed by Beetee with the approval of President Paylor. Every morning I run the train's diagnostic communications systems to check for bugs or video feeds. I'm afraid I have disturbing news."

"What is it, Haymitch?" I asked. As the lead security officers, it is my duty to make certain that everyone was safe under my watch. That includes video and audio leaks. I didn't think of checking the system since we were in a private train. I trusted my team to protect and watch my family and friends.

"There has been unauthorized audio communications leaving this train."

"What does that mean?" Delly asked.

"It means that someone in this train has been communicating and sending messages," Johanna explained.

"Every communication we send to anywhere in Panem is recorded and stored in the data banks. I take into account for every single message I've sent," Haymitch added. "And the only person I've been talking to is Effie. I found irregularities in the log. Someone has been in contact or using the radio communication feeds."

"So maybe the guys have been communicating with family," Delly surmised. "What's the big deal?"

"We're on duty, Delly," I interrupted her. "We're not supposed to be in contact with anyone. We stay low profile until our job is done. That means not communicating with family or friends. It's against regulations."

"I'm afraid that we have a leak," Haymitch sighed.

"You mean we have a spy," Johanna concluded.

"And you think it's one of my guys?" I asked in shock. I couldn't wrap my mind around it. It didn't make any sense. "I don't believe it. I had picked them because they are not just soldiers to me they are my friends. People I trust."

"Well unless one of you guys are using the communication console in your sleep, we have a problem," he snickered. "Have any of you been in contact with anyone in Panem?" Haymitch asked. We all shook our heads. "Why do you think I have us stop at every District? This train is inspected for bugs and cameras and any irregularities."

'I thought your maintenance checks were a bit excessive," Johanna surmised. "And you discovered that some is spying on us?

"Well, someone is using the radio to get in contact with someone in District 1. The signals are sent directly to the main offices of the New Guardsmen building. And who do you think has an office there?"

"Fucking hell, we can't trust anybody," Johanna screamed.

"Well, I'm grateful that you didn't suspect Bron or else he wouldn't be here in this conversation," Delly commented. She grabbed my hand. I shook it off.

"Hey, what did I tell you while I'm on duty," I stated a bit irritated by Haymitch's accusation. Her attempt of comfort didn't quell my anger. I knew I shouldn't take it out on her but I did. I didn't mean to be cruel but we had this conversation before. I couldn't be Bron Master, the fiancé while I wore my uniform and carried a gun. I ignored and dismissed the look on Delly's face. She tried to mask the hurt I inflicted unintentionally. Our time together has been minimized due to my job. She knew the conditions and risks of having a relationship with me.

"Give her a break, Bron," Johanna snickered at me. "We're not in public." True, but I was still on duty as the other Guardsmen took turns in patrol even on the train. We had to stay focused.

"Babe, you know that I'm on duty," I reminded her. Delly knew I took my job seriously. I had failed Peeta once and swore it would never happen again. "So Haymitch, do have any idea which one is spying on us for Gale because I need proof like you do that one of my friends is betraying me." I tried not to sound sarcastic and petty. It hurt knowing that one of my own was betraying me.

"Listen, kid," Haymitch said narrowing his eyes. "I'm putting a lot of faith and trust in you to take care of Peeta and everyone for that matter. You're not a Victor or from District 12. I don't know you but I trust Peeta and Delly. They trust you and I trust them. So if I say that someone is using the communication console without any authorization from me, I'm not kidding. These kid's lives and their safety are detriment to me. And no one not even a former Capitolite turned rebel is not under my scrutiny. Hell, even I suspected it was you at first."

"Haymitch, you can trust Bron. He would never let anything happen," Delly insisted. "He would never hurt Peeta." Delly's faith soothed me but, his comment and insinuation stung. We've been through so much together. "What about her?" I pointed to Kara. "She's from the Capitol. Why don't you ask her if she used the radio?"

""I already had. Kara doesn't have access or security clearance to the communication consoles," Haymitch informed me. "And she has always asked to use it since we've been on this train. All of her transmissions have been with Dr. Aurelius in Capitol." He stared into my eyes. "All your guys have access to the radio." My mind spun for a few seconds. I have never communicated with anyone with the exception of my status reports I sent to President Paylor. She didn't' keep tabs on me and trust me implicitly to watch over Peeta and Katniss. My communication with her was brief and to the point. I would send a brief status every three days. If one of my Guardsmen had used it, it was an act of insubordination from a direct order from me, as their commanding officer in this detail. Radio communication was only used with each other. "Do you have any idea who is using the radio?"

"No, but I have a plan," Haymitch noted. "I'm going to give wrong information this afternoon and see who bites."

"I can't believe this," I muttered to myself.

"For now I suspect all of them." I opened my mouth to argue but realized it was futile to make a case for any of them. Eli, Darryn, Jonah and Jace had rose in the ranks with me. We ate, fought and struggled together during the rebellion. Even Todd, the new Guardsmen I picked to help protect Peeta was someone I trusted. To discover that one of them was breaking protocol and communicating with Gale turned my stomach.

"This doesn't affect our trip in any way," Haymitch stated. "Once we leave this room we will not discuss it ever again. There are ears and eyes on us, no matter where we go."

"What are you going to do once you catch our spy?" Johanna asked. She was itching for a fight. So was I. My nerves were shattered due to this betrayal. I couldn't afford to trust any of my guys. It was disheartening. My focus and concern should be the new family I have adopted.

"Bron and I will handle the matter when the times comes." He stared into my eyes. Haymitch trusted me to support and assist him. I couldn't fail or disappoint him. He glanced at his watch. "So, we have at least an two hours before our next stop. All of you should get ready for dinner. Once the train stops we will be taking a hover car and be driven to a restaurant I reserved for us."

"Do you think that's a good idea?" Kara mentioned.

"We go on with business as usual. I made plans to secure us in a private place where we will not be disturbed." I looked at Peeta and Katniss. They both had been quiet during the whole exchange. He held her hand, his eyes focused on their clasped fingers as he drew circles with his thumb. She had a shy smile on her face as she watched him with adoration and love in her eyes. It was as if they were the only two people in the room as they were focused on each other. Delly, Johanna and Kara were in midst conversation over what to wear for dinner. "This meal is the last dinner together before we reached the Capitol. I don't know about you guys but I want to enjoy it while we can."

"Shit, Haymitch, you make it sound like it'll be our last meal together." Johanna teased but I detected a flicker of fear and concern in her eyes.

"As I said, eyes and ears will be focused on all of us," Haymitch reminded everyone. "Whatever privacy we had is non existent once we set foot off this train. We have to be careful of what we say and do from now on. Everyone's safety is my biggest concern since we now know the identity of Eva's accomplice."

"You don't think he's stupid enough to try something, do you," Johanna asked.

"We're in his domain and territory," I informed them. "The Guardsmen assigned in the Capitol are loyal to Hawthorne."

"I trust you to keep us all safe, Bron," Peeta spoke for the first time. "And I know you're someone I trust to keep your promises." I blinked a few times and thought back to our conversation weeks ago. I just hope it wouldn't come to that, but a promise is a promise and I'm a man who can keep his word despite the consequences.

"So about this plan, Haymitch," I asked. All eyes turned to him.

* * *

**Katniss POV –**

My eyes were transfixed at the image before me. Peeta was standing in front of a full-length mirror. I watched the long muscles on his back and shoulders move as he combed his hair with my brush while he was in his tight black boxer briefs. I looked down and stared at the dimples on the small of his back and at the curve of his hard butt. I cringed as my eyes lowered to his lower left leg. The fake limb jutted from his thigh length boxer brief. My heart ached with sadness as I remembered how and why he lost his leg. It didn't make him any less beautiful to me.

I walked in with a long robe to hide the new panty and bra set that I purchased while shopping in District 4. Tonight, I planned to seduce Peeta with my surprise. We held and gave each other long wet kisses in the privacy of our compartment, but since leaving 4, sex was the last thing on Peeta's mind. I didn't blame him. But now as we edged towards the Capitol my need and hunger for his kisses, hands and tongue made my body ache for him. This new sexual awareness made me feel alive like a new woman reborn. This hunger could only be satiated by my Boy with the Bread; Peeta Mellark the love of my life.

I wrapped my arms around his waist pressing my chest on his back. He sighed as he placed both arms on top of mine. "I wish we could stay here in the train. I really don't feel like dressing up and going out to dinner."

"Me, too, baby," I agreed as I lay my head between his should blade.

"I don't feel safe anymore," Peeta confessed. "When we were in 12, at least I knew my surroundings but now…"

"I know, I know," I said as I kissed his shoulder blade.

"It's doesn't seem real." Peeta turned around and embraced me, wrapping his strong arms around my waist. The sparse hair on his chest tickled my face. My Boy with the Bread was developing to be a well-sculpted and sexy young man. Though he still retained his boyish looks and personality, his experiences matured him faster than boys at his young age both physically and mentally.

"What doesn't seem real?" I asked. I looked up to find his eyes closed.

"You, us…the train, everything I guess." He opened his eyes and they mesmerized me. Peeta's face was etched with uncertainty like a little boy lost looking for his mother.

"If there is one thing that you should never doubt, it us Peeta," I told him as I lay my head on the crook of his neck. "We're real." We held each other for a few minutes. "I'm surprised you agreed to Haymitch's plan."

"I don't think I have much of a choice now, do I?" He was resigned and committed. The execution of said plan was risky and dangerous. We were placing a lot of faith on Haymitch and Bron for it to succeed. The plan itself placed everyone we loved at risk. So I was surprised that Peeta agreed to it. "So much of it can go wrong, I mean one wrong move and someone could get hurt."

"Haymitch would not have thought of it if he didn't know the risks."

"I didn't want to involve everyone. If it was just me, then I don't have any objections." Peeta sighed.

"I have complete faith that this will work," I stated. "It'll work, Peeta. Are you having seconds thoughts?"

"Well, it's too late to back out now." He turned and started to dress picking up his shirt. I have become accustomed to his moods swings since leaving District 4. Kara had predicted them. At least they weren't mercurial and volatile like Gale. He went from sullen to moody then anger in seconds. I dismissed thinking about him. All thoughts of my childhood friend only fueled my anger and hate. I was tired of being angry all the time. Peeta taught me that living in anger blinded you from seeing the truth and enjoying the good things in your life. Staying angry was toxic and wore down your spirit and the people around you. Peeta made me happy and I loved him for it. However, my need to protect him from Gale overruled my head. I will find a way to make Gale pay for the cruelty and horrific abuse that Peeta endured.

"I love this color on you," I said as I brushed my hand on his new suit. "It brings out the color of your eyes."

"I can't wait to see you in your new dress," Peeta smirked at me. "I bet I wont' be able to keep my hands off you all evening." He sent me a sultry look, a look that never failed to make me weak at the knees and my heart aflutter. I blushed at the sexy images that populated my mind. I shook them off needing to contain my desire to throw him on the bed, and have him ravage me with talented hands, mouth and tongue while I tried to control myself screaming from pleasure. I swatted his delectable ass.

"Get out of here so I can get dressed," I teased him. "Or we may never make it for dinner."

"Promises, promises." Peeta laughed and dressed so fast I was disappointed by the time he picked up his new dinner jacket. "Thanks for this by the way. It's a perfect fit."

He was shocked but pleased at the clothes I bought for him. The suit he wore was dark blue with a crisp white shirt. The dark color intensified and complimented his crystal blue eyes. A black leather belt and shoes accompanied his ensemble. I looked forward to undressing every piece of clothing later on this evening. I lingered and stalled to change in to my evening attire, as I wanted to surprise Peeta with my new dress. It was an orange frilly knee-length dress with a plunging halter-top. It accentuated every dip and curve on my body. Johanna and Delly spent hours convincing me to purchase the dress when I first saw it. I would never have bought the dress for myself but with Johanna's encouragement, I relented.

'_It's his favorite color. The dress was made for you. Peeta is going to love taking that dress off you.'_ I remembered just how much he loved undressing me. Two seconds flat was all it took for me to cave and purchase the dress. Johanna and Delly teased and laughed at me all afternoon. I didn't care since I knew the result of wearing the dress would please Peeta.

With a quick kiss on my cheek he left our compartment to let me dress and change for our dinner. I was combing my hair when Delly and Johanna entered the compartment. Johanna wore a short, tight, black v-neck sleeveless dress while Delly wore a light blue dress almost identical to mine minus the plunging neck line with cap sleeves and matching color belt. Their hair was down and they smelled wonderful. Both of them were perfumed that fitted their personality. Johanna smelled sharp and spicy while Delly was soft and sweet.

Delly pushed Johanna towards me. I remembered her accusations and it stung that she would rehash history I thought we settled. There was an awkward pause as we stood staring at each other. "So Johanna has something to say to you," Delly surmised. Johanna turned and gave Delly a dirty look then looked back at me. I waited for another attack on my character. I didn't need another guilt trip since I was capable of sabotaging my feelings and love life on my own. My mistakes I had to live with but I didn't need or appreciated it being thrown back on my face when the opportunity arose.

"I'm sorry for attacking you this afternoon," she started. "Stop it." Delly elbowed her to continue as Johanna turned and face Delly who glared back at her. "I just so angry that your ex-bo…" Another elbow connected to her rib. "ouch…sorry…your friend…"

"Former friend," I interjected.

"Right…your former friend took great pleasure in hurting Peeta. And the coward that he is used Eva to help him. I wasn't really mad at you. My mouth sometimes just take over and I can't help it," she explained. "Peeta is my best friend and he means the world to me and when I found out that it was…Gale…I just lost it. I couldn't see or think straight. All I know is that he hurt Peeta and I all I want to do is hurt him back. Real bad. And I took my anger out on you. I'm sorry."

"It's all right, Johanna," I said. "When I first found out, I couldn't believe it. Now, I want to hurt him too. But Haymitch is right, we can't touch him."

"For now," Johanna added.

"Johanna, you promised Peeta you wouldn't go after him," Delly reminded her.

She shrugged her head. "I'll just have to figure out a way and keep my promise to Peeta at the same time." The atmosphere around us turned from awkward to cold sober. "I don't care what he said, I owe him. He saved Annie and me and I couldn't…didn't do the same for him. I owe him." I nodded my head in understanding for I knew what it's like to owe a debt to someone. I never acknowledge the debt I owed to Peeta for saving my life that day when he threw the bread in the rain. I will be forever owing him and I'll gladly repay him for the rest of my life.

"Anyway, do I look okay?" I turned to look one last time at the mirror behind me. My insecurity decided to play havoc on my self esteem at the last moment as I stood before them fidgeting. I turned back to my friends. Delly looked beautiful while Johanna looked sexy. As for me, I'm…me. Awkward and inexperienced was my middle names. I wished for the umpteenth time that Prim was here. I never felt beautiful or sexy. But the way Peeta looked and held me, he always made me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. The only girl he desired and loved.

Johanna smiled and exclaimed. "You looking fucking remarkable. I told you that dress was made for you. You have that 'ravage me and fuck me hard' vibe wearing that dress." Well, that was what I had hoped to accomplish just for Peeta. I only felt sexy and desirable when I'm with him.

"Peeta is going to die when he sees you," Delly squealed. I smiled and blushed at their compliments. I usually didn't care for anyone's opinion. Peeta's was the only I cared for. His opinion was the only that counted. I sighed in relief and gratitude for their honesty.

"You're going to be a very lucky and happy girl by the end of this evening, I guarantee you," Johanna promised and winked at me. _'I'm going to make sure of it.' _I said to myself. I just hope that we survived Haymitch's plan.

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_**AN: I hoped you enjoyed reading this last chapter. I sort of rushed it so I can upload this update for your guys. Lots of drama and fluff in the next chapter. Thank you for sticking around. Have a great week.**_


	37. Chapter 37 - You Belong To Me

Chapter 37 – You Belong To Me

_AN: Many thanks to my reviewers: Trude, Matainer, Aqua Rules, kamjam, everlasting1286, LACR, Tea4e. Your reviews and comments make my day. And much thanks for those you have alerted or favored my story. Warning: If you are Team Gale, please turn back now or read at your own risk. _

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**Gale POV––**

_Early that morning_

My head and body ached from the late night party I attended. The exclusive military club for high-ranking officers provided me the release I needed from the stress and anxiety of my new job. I loved my position and career but it left me no time for a personal life. The women in my life left me yearning for Katniss. They sex is great but they are not who I wanted. I need Katniss. Tara, the woman at the club only eased the loneliness I felt for a few hours. It was clear to me that there could be only one woman in my life and that is Katniss Everdeen. And one way or another, I will have her.

The ride to my office in District 2 was slow. I should have stayed in bed with Tara but duty called and I must attend to the job at hand. I couldn't risk President Paylor's wrath. The news of Eva's capture had me in a panic. It was not information made to the public. My source informed me of her capture by Haymitch Abernathy. I will have to deal with him myself when the time arose. For now, my priority was to get to Eva before she told anyone of my involvement with her and our activities.

My thoughts are interrupted as I arrived at the new Guardsmen Offices. Every single military personnel saluted me as I walked by. My new job left me with great pride and honor. I have enough power and wealth; it's everything I ever wanted minus one thing I still have yet to obtain. Katniss Everdeen. Our union would be hailed as one the best matches, the MockingJay and the man who stood beside her during the rebellion. We were meant to be together.

"Good Morning, Commander," my assistant/secretary Private Donnelly greeted me. I waved a hand in response. She handed me five messages. "You have two calls from your brother, Rory and two from you mother and the other didn't give a name but a number to call him as soon as possible. The anonymous caller said it was urgent. I looked at the number.

"Please hold all my calls unless it's an emergency and allow no visitors until further notice," I instructed.

Yes sir but––"

I closed the door behind me, went straight to my desk and picked up the receiver. "What is your status," I asked as the other person answered my call.

"There was an incident. They tighten the security and I can't get to her," he answered back.

"Do you know if she said anything to anyone?" I asked.

"I just said I haven't seen her or heard anything," my informant revealed. I can hear the fear and frustration in his tone.

"I don't care how you get to her," I yelled on the phone. "I'm paying you a lot of money to do one simple thing. Get rid of her or I'll be paying you a visit myself and tell Dr. Aurelius what you've been doing in that facility, do you understand me?"

"Yes, sir but you need to give me some time. Like I said there was an incident and security is really tight and with Mellark coming over––"

"What the fuck! Why didn't you tell me that Mellark is visiting the facility?" I sat down on the nearest chair as I waved my hand through my hair. It has gotten too long for my taste but with my duties as the First Guardsmen had made difficult to visit my barber. I've been given a warning from President Paylor for leaving my duty and office on my last visit to District 12. She had warned me to stay away from Peeta Mellark since I am his protection list. As if I wanted to be near him for whatever reason. But mostly, I didn't want another tongue lashing from my own mother who screamed and yelled at me for being irresponsible. She just doesn't understand my need to have Katniss. I've loved her since we've been kids and she chose––I refused to believe that her feelings for Mellark are genuine. She has never indicated or spoken about him ever. Then, she got reaped and suddenly she's different.

Katniss and I are a kindred spirit. We're both from the Seam and lost our fathers at the mines. We both became the head our families to support and feed our loved ones. I never really thought of her as more of a sister. I knew that I loved her; I just didn't realize the depth of my feelings until that fateful day. Seeing and watching her during her interviews made me realize that I was in love with her. But I didn't believe that she was coming back from the games. No one from District 12 had won since Haymitch Abernathy's victory in the 25th Hunger Games. I knew that when she won, it was a sign that she was the one for me; she was coming back to me.

After her first arena she was quiet, elusive and secretive. She kept to herself most of the time and hardly met me to go hunting. I didn't like what the Capitol did to her. She changed so much that I hardly recognized her. I knew that the Star-Cross Lovers was just an act since she never talked to Peeta Mellark when we were in school. Then suddenly she admitted to having some feelings for Mellark. She was confused about her 'friendship' with Peeta, the youngest of the Mellark brothers. I couldn't see what any girl would saw in him. He's weak, quiet and a wimp. I could never understand why Merchants girls gushed all over him. So what if he had blond hair and blues so did every other Merchant scum. He was no one special.

"Listen, it was a last minute decision from what I heard. Eva was just caught two days ago. You knew that," the voice from the receiver said. "He'll be here this morning to talk to her and he's bringing Everdeen with him."

"What?" I stood up and panicked. I needed to get Eva out of the hospital. I couldn't afford to have her talk and reveal my identity. Katniss would hate me forever. But I needed her to see Peeta for what he really was; a coward who didn't deserve to live during the first game. I understood why she didn't kill him. Katniss may be a hunter but she was not a killer. She should have just let him die in the arena, but just like her sister Prim she didn't like to see people suffer even if he was a Merchant boy from our district. I just didn't understand her obsession with Mellark. The solution to the problem was to get Mellark out of her life. Once time has passed she'll realize that she was only feeling sorry for him and soon she'll realize that her 'love' for him was out of pity. I've been patient. I knew that she needed time to recover from all her trauma, especially losing Prim. I waited and waited until I felt time has passed. Katniss has always had a loving and forgiving heart. She'll realize that I never intended to hurt Prim. She'll forgive me.

"I saw the schedule, he's coming to talk to Eva today."

"Listen, I got to go. Do whatever you can to keep her quiet," I instructed him. "And––don't fail me again or else you life is over and I mean completely over.' I slammed the receiver on the desk. My head throbbed from the alcohol I had consumed the night before and the sex marathon with Tara. I walked over to my desk and pulled out a small bottle, took 3 pills and chased it down with a glass of water. I was on my way out when my assistant, Private Donnelly's voice filled the air.

"Commander Hawthorne, Private Rory Hawthorne requests to see you." _'What the hell, what is Rory doing here? Now, at this hour? And why isn't he doing his job?' _I had assigned him to District 12 to watch over my Katniss. He was reluctant at first, but as his commanding officer it was his duty to obey me.

"Tell him I'm on the phone and will contact him when I'm done." I didn't have the time or energy to worry about Rory. I had to get to District 1 as soon as possible. I was on my way out when Rory barged into my office.

"What the fuck, Rory," I shouted at him as he walked straight in with Donnelly at his heels.

"Sorry, Commander but he––" Donnelly sputtered. She was a diminutive woman in her late 40's. She worked for the former Head Peacekeeper who was killed during the rebellion. I knew that with her years of experience and contacts she was a valuable asset to my office. She knew people and places in District One as well as important figures in Panem.

"You may leave Donnelly." I instructed her. "As a matter of fact, you can take the rest of the day off."

"But Commander, I can't leave. You have a conference call with President Paylor at 11 this morning," she reminded me. Fuck, I had forgotten about that. I couldn't tell the President of Panem to reschedule our meeting. She was already weary and disappointed with my behavior as of late. When she discovered that I had left my office and went to 12 she was livid. Paylor was ready to relieve me of my duty as First Guardsmen but she couldn't afford the humiliation and scandal in her first term. I am Panem's new hero; the boy from District 12 who rose from the Seam and fought beside the MockingJay.

"Thank you for reminding me and please shut the door on your way out." As soon as she shut the door, my anger doubled as I looked at Rory. He wore his Guardsmen uniform but it looked wrong on him. I had to remember that he as just a young man who lost just as much I did during the rebellion. He was my brother first and foremost but as the leader of the Guardsmen I couldn't have his relationship with me undermine my job.

"You just don't barge in to my office any time you feel like it. And as your commanding officer––"

"I don't give a shit who the fuck you are," Rory bellowed. I have never heard him use that tone before. Before the rebellion, he was a sweet young boy that followed me around. He looked up to me since the death of our father all those years ago. But since the war, he was angry all the time, drinking, picking fights with anyone. Mother begged me to take him under my wing. He was my responsibility. "Listen to me, _Commander_," he spat my rank with such disgust. "I can understand you missing Posy's and Vic's birthday because of your _new job_. But to miss Mom's, I'll never forgive you for that."

"I was working. I have responsibilities." I yelled back at him. Rory may be my younger brother but that didn't give him the right to barge into my office and scold me for not visiting mom on her birthday.

"Bullshit, you should at least called her to let her know you weren't coming." He walked straight to me. He's grown as tall as me as his eyes were leveled to mine. I didn't recognize this boy who confronted me. We looked alike with our dark hair and gray eyes.

"I told you––" I responded back.

"And you didn't even send her a gift or call her. What was so important that you couldn't take a single day off to go and visit her? She waited for you all day to call her." He shoved me. I shoved him back.

"Don't touch me, Rory. You may be angry right now and I understand why but don't think that I'll take any shit from you because you're my brother. I am also your commanding officer and being that I'm in my office, you basically just assaulted me."

"What you going to do arrest me? Go ahead. See how the Paylor or your adoring fans react when they see that you can't even control you own brother. You may be my older brother but you're an asshole, Gale," he sputtered "And you're a sorry excuse for a son."

"Listen Rory, I know you angry and disappointed with me. But I have new responsibilities now," I said as I calmed my voice and temper.

"Really, does that new responsibilities include spying on Katniss Everdeen and her boyfriend Peeta Mellark," he taunted. He knew I hated the sight of Mellark. When people spoke about him with such adoration and admiration, I wanted to puke. He wasn't a man that deserved Katniss. I was disgusted with all the women who fell for his fake charm. It pissed me off that they thought so highly of him. What was worse that most of Panem adored them together. It was vile and disgusting to think that they are lovers. What could she possibly see in him?

"He's is not her boyfriend––"

"Looks like to me with all that kissing and groping, and the fact that they are sleeping together," he snickered. I raised my hand and slapped him. My eyes grew wide from shock and anger. I had never raised my hand on my family. Rory lifted his hand and felt his cheek. Tears formed in his eyes. "Rory, I'm sorry––"

"You're pathetic, Gale," he said. I took a step forward as he stepped back. "Katniss never wanted or loved you that way. If she did, she would have told you. She wouldn't be with Mellark if she didn't want him. You would have been together once she came back from the first arena."

"She's just confused and feeling sorry for him," I explained.

"What is it going to take for you to get into your thick skull that she loves him, that she is not in love with you?" he stated.

"What do you know of love for that matter, Rory," I returned. "Katniss and I had something special. And Mellark ruined it. He took advantage of her."

"I've known Katniss most of my life too, Gale," he quipped back. "One thing I do know about her is that she's strong-willed and an independent person. Do honestly think that Peeta Mellark took advantaged of her? You're an idiot if you think she didn't fall for him on her on her own. She's in love with him."

"I told you she's not thinking straight, she's still grieving over Prim." He shoved me hard again as I took two steps back and almost tripped over an end table.

"Don't you ever fucking say her name ever," he screamed.

"I'm sorry, Rory––" I saw the pain and hurt in his eyes. He, like Katniss blamed me for Prim's death. I swore and tried to explain that it wasn't my fault that she was in the line of fire. How could I have predicted that she was there when the bombs fell?

"I'm sorry, Rory," I repeated. I really was sorry since I knew he loved Prim. During their time in 13, they had developed feelings for each other. His crush for Prim started a year before. I never knew about it until my mother told me.

"Sorry is not going to get her back, Gale," he spat. "It's all your fault that she's dead."

"I didn't know she was going to be there." I roared in anger and frustration.

"Well, she was and it's all your fault. You and Katniss got her killed. I begged her to stay but she said that she needed to be like Katniss and help out in the rebellion. She followed Katniss like you did and she died because of you." He was ranting. Hurt, anger and pain radiated on his face.

"Don't blame Katniss for Prim's decision to follow her," I said. "Prim made that decision on her own. She shouldn't have been there but she was––" I took a step towards Rory and placed a hand on his arm. He shrugged me off. "And she's gone. You need to get over it and move on."

"Like the way you moved on with Katniss," he snickered. "I'm not stupid, Gale. I know the real reason why you assigned me to 12."

"Mom went back to 12. I thought you wanted to stay close to home––"

"Don't give me that bullshit, you wanted me to spy on Katniss and her boyfriend Peeta," he returned. "I don't understand why you asked since I know that you have other Guardsmen spying on her for you."

"I don't know that you're talking about," I denied his accusation. I didn't want him involved with my plans.

"I'm not stupid, Gale," he roared.

"You will address me as Commander Hawthorne when you're in my presence and wearing that uniform," I demanded him. Brother or not, he was still on duty.

"Fuck you, Hawthorne," Rory returned and saluted me with his middle finger. "Even with your new uniform, rank and office, you're still the asshole of a brother who abandoned his family for fame and glory."

"I deserve this office and title, Rory," I hollered. "I fought in the rebellion and took down Snow and the Capitol."

"No, you were the MockingJay's side kick. She won the war and took down the Capitol," he argued. "And after everything was said and done, you know what she did, she went back to Peeta Mellark. I've seen them together in District 12. She may had been pretending during the arenas but she really is with him now."

"Because she feels guilty and sorry for him," I explained.

"Go ahead and convince yourself that she feels sorry for him," Rory spat. "Because the truth is she never wanted you the way she wanted Mellark. She never looked at you the way she looks or talks to him. Even mom knows that. Katniss told mom that she loves him and your jealousy and obsession with her is eating you alive. How does it feel to never get the girl you love because she doesn't want you? I will never have Prim back. It must be driving you mad that she wants Peeta instead of you. He's a better man, a better person than you."

"Shut up, Rory or––"

"Or what, fire me? Kick me out of the Guardsmen? Go ahead. Do it." Rory said in disgust. "You're a fucking coward, Gale. You send people to do your dirty work. You hide behind your title and office it's no wonder Katniss picked Peeta over you."

"Get the hell out, Rory," I screamed as I grabbed him by the arm. "You will not set foot in this office and talk to me in that manner. I may be your brother but I'm also your commanding officer. So help me God I'll have you arrested for insubordination and for assaulting your superior officer." Anger boiled through my veins as I clenched my fists on my sides. "Now get out or I'll have you escorted out of this building."

Rory straighten his shoulders and stiffened his posture. "You just proved my point. Heed my warning Gale, you need to straighten out your priorities and face reality. Katniss Everdeen is in love with Peeta Mellark. You'll never break whatever bond they have together. You're just too jealous and blinded by your obsession to have her and see what's in front of you. What all of Panem sees when they are together?"

"And what do they see, a fairytale?" I sneered back.

"No, that the love and friendship they share are true and strong between them. Everyone sees it. I've seen, and so has mom. You Gale, just refuse to." He turned and walked out the office, but stopped at the doorway. "One more thing, Commander Hawthorne, I'll do my job in District 12 but don't you dare ask me to spy on Katniss. I'm done and if you demand that I report to you of her activities I'll report you to President Paylor herself. I bet she'll be interested in knowing how you used your office for your own personal agenda."

"You wouldn't dare," I challenged him.

"I'm just a lowly ranked soldier in your eyes, Commander Hawthorne," Rory asserted. "You're not the same Gale Hawthorne I looked up to as a kid. I don't know who you are." He walked out closing the door with a quiet thud.

Two hours later, the conference call with Paylor sucked and wasted my time. I needed to intercept Eva before they got to her. My informant was useless. With the resources available to me, I could easily remove Eva from the facility. I just hoped I got there in time.

My hand shook and I'm sweating buckets. The ride to District 1 from 2 took half an hour. I reached the mental facility with no problems. My stomach ached since I missed breakfast. My conversation with Rory echoed in my mind. He's wrong in his assumption about Katniss. She needed me and felt pity for Mellark. The sooner I get rid of him, the sooner she'll realize that we belong together.

"Excuse me ma'am," I spoke to the woman at the reception desk. "Can you get hold of the person in charge of this facility?" The young woman was short with dark brown hair and brown eyes.

"That would be Dr. Reynolds. He's in a meeting with Dr Aurelius," she informed me. Dr. Aurelius, the name sounded familiar to me. He's the chief Medical Physician that treated Peeta and Johanna Mason during their recovery. At least I knew him and can convince him to aid me in my job to help Katniss and remove Eva from their premises.

"I'm Commander Gale Hawthorne," I introduced myself.

"I know who you are, Commander," she gushed. "I've seen you on TV."

"Then can you let them know I'm here, um––," I stared at her nametag. "Moira."

"I'm sorry but they're in a meeting and cannot be disturbed," she explained.

"I believe that they'll interrupt their meeting if you let them know I'm here," I said, flashing a big smile on my face as I leaned over the desk. Women, love me wherever I went. My appointment to First Guardsmen availed me to resources and access throughout Panem. I'm more popular than Mellark. Though I have met some resistance and hostility from the Capitolites, my office ensured power over them.

"I'm sorry I can only interrupt them in case of an emergency," she said.

"This is an emergency. Tell them that First Guardsmen Commander Gale Hawthorne insists in talking to them," I said with as much authority I could muster. "It's a matter of life and death."

"Oh, I guess that's emergency," she added.

Moira picked up the receiver. A few minutes later, Dr. Aurelius appeared at the reception area. He extended his hand.

"I'm Dr. Aurelius," he greeted me. "How can I be of an assistance to you, Commander Hawthorne?"

"Dr. Aurelius, I believe that your holding Ms. Eva Perry in this facility."

"Yes, she was brought in by Mr. Abernathy a couple if days ago," he stated. "So what can I do for you?"

"My office has informed me that she is a danger to Peeta Mellark," I said. "She's been stalking him for some time now."

"Yes, that is true."

"So I'm here to escort Ms. Perry to the Capitol where she will be charged and––"

"Hold on a second, no one was alerted or notified that she was kept here for observation," he said as he narrowed his eyes. "As a matter of fact, Mr. Abernathy as well as President Paylor and a few of the staff here in this facility are the only ones that knew she was here. How did you find out?"

"I'm the First Guardsmen," I reminded him. "I have many sources to ensure Katniss Everdeen's safety."

"I'm not quite sure how Ms. Perry is any of your concern."

"Katniss and I have been friends in District 12. Childhood friends as a matter of fact. I was at her side during the war." _'Where the hell has this idiot been? Everyone knew I was with Katniss during the rebellion.'_

"We all know that Katniss is traveling with Peeta Mellark. If she is involved with him and Ms. Perry is a danger to him, then Katniss is in danger as well," I explained. "I'm just looking out for her."

"Mr. Abernathy has ensured me that Ms. Everdeen is in good hands and was assigned with several Guardsmen by President Paylor herself to secure her and Mr. Mellark's safety."

"I am the First Guardsmen, Dr. Aurelius, just hand her over to me and I will make sure that she will not harm anyone especially Katniss Everdeen."

"Be as it may, I'm sorry but we've been having security issues today."

"What do you mean?" I inquired.

"I'm sorry to inform you but the security in this hospital was breached and Ms. Perry had somehow escaped."

"What? What happened?" I said in panic and disbelief.

"That's what Dr. Reynolds and I are trying to figure out," Dr. Aurelius stated as he scratched his head. "This has never happened before. I mean, we did have an incident early this morning when one of the patients attacked one of the nurses and tried to escape by impersonating her."

"So you're telling that Eva is loose?"

"Yes, we concluded that she must have had some help. When we did a head count, we discovered that she was no longer in her room," he explained. _'Oh, fuck,' _my mind screamed. "This is most unfortunate. So as you can see, we're a little busy right now, trying to figure out how she escaped," he said in a calm and clinical tone.

"Fuck that, it's a moot point," I informed him. "I––I mean, you need to find her before she hurts someone." A look passed his face.

"We were in the process of doing just that, Commander Hawthorne and you interrupted our investigation." he said.

"Is there anything I can do to assist you, my office will avail itself to apprehend her as soon as possible." I'll assign a whole squad if I have to.

"We really appreciate the offer, but you're involvement may alert the public and I need to keep this facility away from any scandal. We have a reputation to uphold." More bureaucratic bullshit if you asked me. They only wanted to save their own hide. I needed to find Eva on my own before she outed me.

"I just need to know one thing before I go," I asked. "I was informed that Peeta Mellark came to see her."

"That was privileged information, Commander Hawthorne," he interjected. "Again, how did you learn of this information?"

"I have eyes and ears to all of Panem."

"Any conversation or activity involving my patients are confidential," he said. "Hospital policy."

"I'm aware and appreciate that, I do. But Mellark's involvement also includes Katniss' safety. And I have a duty to ensure hers. Even if it means, removing him from her life. I mean, I've been hearing that he's a danger to society and might relapse with his episodes––"

"I don't know where you're getting your information but as Mellark's primary physician I can assure you she is safe with him."

"And as a friend who is looking at for Katniss' best interest, I cannot stand by and let Mellark exist in her life," I stated. "If he is endangering her life by involving herself with Ms. Perry because of her _attachment_ to Mellark, I believe I had cause to worry."

"Commander Hawthorne, I believe that it is best that you leave this facility. I have an escaped patient to attend to so––I appreciate that you don't talk to the media."

"I understand, Dr. Aurelius that I too have a job and responsibility as well as First Guardsmen." I shook his hand. "Thank you for your time."

I walked out and took my phone out of my pocket. "Hey, it's me. You need to report in and let me know if Mellark knows about me. Call me as soon as you can." I hoped that Eva didn't say anything to him. My chances with Katniss will be over and my job at stake. I'll lose everything.

I needed to find Eva fast. The first thing in her mind would be is to find Peeta. And if I find Peeta I'll be able to intercept Eva. She has become a liability. Once she's caught I'll deal with her myself.

* * *

**Katniss POV––**

"I hope that everyone is wearing their medallion," Haymitch asked before he left train ahead of us. "Bron make sure that the ladies wear them before they leave." Bron nodded his head. Kara took a hovercraft early this afternoon to make arrangements for Peeta's treatments.

Delly was giving Bron the cold shoulder for reminding her that he's on duty. Throughout the ride to the restaurant he's attentive and apologetic but Delly wouldn't have it. He was currently driving the hovercar as Delly sat next to Johanna. The other Guardsmen trailed behind us. Peeta and I were in own world. The moment he saw me in my dress he was dumbstruck. I was pleased by his reaction.

"Wow––you look amazing," he whispered in my ear as he walked over and held me close. I smiled to myself as I looked over our party. Both Haymitch and Bron cleaned up well wearing their dark suits and shiny patent shoes. I was surprised that Bron was accompanying us to dinner since he was still on duty until I remembered 'the plan.' I swallowed the bile that rose from my throat and hoped, prayed that it succeeded. Peeta kissed my forehead jarring me from my thoughts. I closed my eyes as his warm soft lips lingered on my skin. I wished that we had stayed back in the train. All I wanted to do was strip my boyfriend naked so I could have my way with him, but Haymitch made the reservations early and _'the plan'_ was formed. My need to have Peeta alone for our last night before entering the Capitol was superseded to ensure his safety from Gale. Damn him for obsessing for a relationship and a love that didn't exist between us.

Since our return from visiting Eva, Peeta had not said a single word. I remembered Kara's advise not to pressure or push him. I really didn't want to bring up the topic myself in fear of his anger or his resentment towards me. I couldn't lose him now.

"Why is Delly ignoring Bron?" Peeta whispered in my ear. His soft breath and the close proximity of his lips dazed me for a few seconds. His voice was low and soft reminding of the nights he would have his hands between my legs whispering dirty thoughts in my ear telling me how much he loved making me come with his hands and fingers. I clenched my thighs together in response. "Katniss?"

"I think they had an argument." I lay my head between the crook of his neck and shoulder. "What about? I don't know." I took a deep breath and let my body relaxed. He smelled of lavender.

"It must be really serious if Delly is ignoring him." I placed a hand over his heart.

I haven't known Delly that long. She was easy going and laid back. It took a lot to anger her unless you're threatening one of us. She was like me in that aspect; possessive and loved deeply for those she cared about, especially for Peeta and Johanna.

Bron and Delly never argued or fought often, so it disturbed me of their cool treatment of each other. Haymitch left ahead of us to ensure the security of the restaurant taking two Guardsmen. Delly and Johanna sat in silence deep in their own thoughts. The knowledge that one of Bron's trusted friends was spying on us all this time unnerved me. When will Peeta and I ever get some privacy and time alone? The trip to the Capitol was necessary but all the other factors; Eva, Gale and our spy compounded to the stress and anxiety I already had before leaving 12. I only knew that I couldn't let Peeta go alone. I let him out of my sight once and almost lost him. Never again. I clung to him receiving a kiss to the top of my head. I wanted to him to kiss me until I couldn't think straight but that would have been rude and insensitive due to the current situation between Bron and Delly.

"We're almost there," Bron announced as he slowed the hovercar down next to a building in the heart of District 1's most populated city. My heart clenched at the mere sight of the buildings as it reminded of the Capitol's architecture. If I didn't know any better you swore we were already there. Three Guardsmen appeared escorting us to the restaurant. I fought the urge to confront them. My patience and whatever safety I felt in their presence was shattered. I reminded myself that I couldn't trust them. At least, I was happy to discover that there were no media or fans crowding the streets.

"Effie. You're here." I heard Delly scream as she walked into the restaurant. Effie Trinket was wearing a long black evening dress with a deep, and I mean a deep plunging neckline that revealed her jeweled belly button. The dress was slinky and revealed the unscarred and unblemished skin reaching the dimples on the small of her back. Haymitch stood next to her. They looked beautiful couple together with him wearing a dark gray fitted suit. Johanna whistled.

"You need to tell me the name of your tailor because that dress looks hot on you," she quipped. Effie blushed for the first time I have ever met her. Her hair was slicked back to reveal her oval shaped face with little makeup and rosy red lips. "It was a collaborated venture between Cinna and myself." My eyes threatened to tear up. Besides Prim, I missed Cinna every time I saw a dress that reminded me of him.

Peeta's hand slipped between my dress; as it too revealed a good portion of my back. I flinched when I first saw the scars as I donned the dress early this evening. But I recollected Peeta's loving touches and caresses as he kissed every inch of my back the first time we slept naked together. The memories sent chills down my spine as Peeta caressed my back. Tonight, I didn't care who saw them, Peeta made me feel beautiful. Haymitch swore that we would not see anyone especially the media for our dinner this evening.

"I thought you were going to meet us at the Capitol," I asked as she gave Peeta and me a quick hug.

"I missed all of you and when Haymitch told me that you were dining in District 1, I wanted to be here with you." She glanced at Haymitch for a second. A looked passed between them. Haymitch was unusually quiet standing next to her. "Come on, I'll escort you to the dining area."

To my surprise I finally looked at my surroundings. It was odd that I didn't see the name in front of the building. The foyer was large with six columns forming circle embedded into the walls. The columns were made of the same material that covered the floor. I think they called it marble. I saw so much of it in the Capitol and Snow mansion. I shuddered at the memories that flashed in my mind. I clutched onto Peeta's hand so tight my knuckles turned white. She stopped in the front of the largest double doors I have ever seen reaching the ceiling. Effie opened both doors with practiced ease. "Welcome to my home." We gasped in surprise as the large dining room revealed an elegant rectangular Mahogany table with the dinner settings to rival a Capitol event. The table was long with ivory tablecloth and two polished and ornate candelabras. A large foot long flower arrangement was centered at the table. The china was exquisite and white with gold trimmings. The flatware was gold and set for seven placements.

"This is your home?" Delly asked, her eyes round and mouth open. I narrowed my eyes as I wondered why she requested to live in District 12 a few months back. And if so, why would she give this up to live in District 12. I tossed the thought aside as Peeta and I sat on our assigned seats. On the table were nameplates with a red rose on the top center next to the plate. There were also three different size glasses. A large silver dome covered the main dinner plate.

"I was born and raised in District 1," she explained. "I only worked and lived at the Capitol during the games. This is my home."

"Are you going to sell it when you move to 12?" Bron asked.

"It's been in family for centuries. I don't know if I want to sell it. I just don't want to live here anymore." Her eyes were misty. I never knew her background or history. I only knew Effie Trinket as District 12's reaping escort. It proved how much I still don't know about her. Rather, how much I didn't want to know about her life as an escort.

"Anyway, I'm hungry and dinner's getting cold," Haymitch interjected as he reached over to uncover his plate.

"Abernathy," Effie screeched across the table. "Where are your manners?"

"Back in District 12," he retorted back with a teasing smile on his face. With several years of companionship as escort and mentor, they knew how to push each other's buttons. I wouldn't be at all surprised that they relished the jabs and insults they gave each other.

"Are you sure you two are not married? You act like my parents," Bron teased. We all laughed as both Haymitch and Effie blushed.

"Anyway, if you don't mind, I would like to make a toast," Johanna spoke as she stood up with a glass in hand. Bron and Peeta quickly filled our glasses. "I'm not good with words like Peeta and Haymitch, so I'm winging it." She gripped her glass with both hands. She was nervous as she stumbled with her words. "I've been meaning to say this to all of you and just never had the nerve to––what I'm trying to say is. I want to thank everyone here for all your support and your friendship. When I came back to District 7 I was lost and angry." She hesitated for a moment and looked at Peeta who sat between us.

He nodded his head and grabbed her right hand. "I wanted to thank Peeta mostly for convincing me to move to 12. If it weren't for him I wouldn't be here with all of you in my life. I never thought of my future or the days ahead of me. I just wanted to survive."

I knew how she felt. Before my reaping survival was the only thing I knew. I now realized that it was fate that brought us all together. "I thank all of you for being in my life." She raised her glass. "So I want to propose a toast to a better future with love, friendship and family." We lifted our glasses.

"To a better future." We repeated amongst ourselves as our glasses clinked with one another. With a quick sip of champagne that tickled my throat, Peeta squeezed my hand and kissed my cheek. His eyes twinkled as a slight pink hue appeared on his cheeks. Throughout dinner, Peeta would lay a hand on my thigh underneath the table or grabbed my hand between entrees as everyone conversed around us. It seemed such a natural and comfortable thing for him to do as if it was second nature for him to reach out to touch me as he pleased. I craved for his touches. It was the opposite of what was happening with Delly and Bron. Each time he reached for her hand she shrugged him off. My heart broke for Bron who looked sad as his fiancé ignored him all evening. I hoped that what occurred between would be resolved soon. It was upsetting Peeta to watch his closest friend behave in such a manner. A few times a server would approach Effie and would whisper in her ear. Then she would turn to Haymitch and tap her bracelet. He nodded his head in response.

An hour later, I glanced at Peeta's dinner plate to find that he had eaten only half of his meal. His hands shook and I wondered if that was the reason why he clutched onto mine ever so often.

"Peeta?" I turned to him as servers removed the dishes and glasses from the table. I grasped his hand tight. "Are you okay? You didn't eat enough of your dinner."

"I'm really not hungry, Katniss," he admitted. "My stomach feels kinda funny."

"Do you feel sick?" I was alarmed at his admission. I felt his forehead. He was warm, but not sweating.

"No, I think my stomach is not reacting well with the pills Kara gave me this afternoon." Kara had explained that the new pills would make him feel woozy and nauseous. It was going to take some time before his system to get accustomed to the new regiment. "I guess I'm stressing after what happened today." I wanted to take him back to the train but I knew that he would balk at the idea and didn't want to ruin the evening for everyone.

"I'm kind of nervous myself," I confessed. "I wanted to stay in but––"

"I think I need some air," He said as he toyed with his shirt collar. I stared at a small bruise on his neck given to him by yours truly during one of our amorous endeavors.

"Can you excuse us for a minute. Peeta is not feeling well," I said interrupting everyone.

"What's wrong Peeta?" Delly asked. Her face was etched with worry.

"I just need some air."

"Go through that door, Peeta," Effie instructed him. "It will lead you to the back area." Bron stood up to follow but I curtailed his attempt to follow Peeta.

"Bron, stay here. It's not necessary for you to watch him," I said as I looked at Delly. "I'll stay with him." I wanted some alone time with Peeta and this seemed like our only opportunity as the other Guardsmen patrolled outside Effie's home.

"But–"

"Bron give the lovebirds some space," Johanna directed him. "Haymitch secured the house so chill and be Delly's fiancé for the rest of the evening." Bron appeared petulant at her remark.

"Leave him alone, Johanna," Delly said. "He's on duty." She held both her hands up while her fingers made quote marks in the air. Bron sat back down as he scowled at her.

I grabbed Peeta's hand and lead him through the glass doors. We walked inside a glass-encased patio complete with lounge chairs and tables. High above us the stars twinkled in the sky providing us enough illumination that I could see Peeta's relaxed face. We walked to the farthest corner of the room and stared at the constellations above us.

"I wish I can freeze this moment forever," Peeta recited, calm and reverent. I stiffen in surprise. He was looking up at the sky while he held me from behind his chest pressed against my back.

"You remembered," I asked. He sounded sad and wistful. It was a memory I cherished during the days at 13 when I thought I lost him forever. I allowed that moment but didn't appreciate its' significance at the time. Peeta was always the romantic one in this relationship.

"For the longest time, I didn't know if that memory was real or not," he confessed. "I didn't know if any good memories we had together was not manufactured by my own dreams or fantasies. I only knew that I wanted to be with you and dreaming a life with you was the only thing that kept me alive when––" I turned around to face him. "I'm so tired Katniss." He held me tight against him. "What we shared in District 4 and 7 is the only things that are keeping…if I didn't have you…when you told me you loved me, I was scared that I was dreaming again."

"You're not Peeta, I'm real and I do love you so much," I tried to assure him.

"I know that this is real now…facing Eva made me realize that with all the good things that happened, there were also horrible things that happened too," he said. "Do you understand what I'm saying because…I don't even know if that made sense to me."

"It did," I chuckled at his words. "It made perfect sense. You're perfect." I kissed his cheek.

"I'm not, really. I'm a mess," he sighed. "The only thing that I hang on to is that you love me."

"I really do."

"And that is why I wake up in the morning and get out of bed," he said. "You're real, and I love so much." He slipped his hand underneath my dress caressing my breast with his fingertips. I gasped in pleasure as his fingered tweaked my nipple.

"Peeta," I moaned low and husky. "What are you doing? We can't…not here where…" I shut my eyes as his head dipped low and he wrapped his soft lips around my hard nipple. My knees buckled as my back arched encouraging him further while my hands wrapped around his head. "Shit," I groaned as he sucked hard, hollowing his mouth. "Peeta?"

My nipple felt cold as his mouth released my breast into the cold air. "You're so beautiful," he said with such reverence. "I just needed to see your face like that. Like the way you look right now with lust and desire in your eyes. You see me, Katniss? I'm the one pleasing you."

"You're the only one, Peeta." I kissed him hard as he held me tight, grinding his solid length on my stomach. I gasped in lust as I realized he was hard for me. I whimpered and moaned as our tongues fought for domination. I bit his lip. He gasped in surprise and pulled back, staring deep into my eyes. He no longer panicked and imagined Eva when I bit him. It was a step to erasing that memory. He leaned down to my throat leaving wet hot kisses on my skin. I missed this side of him.

"Katniss?" he said so low I thought I imagined it. He repeated my name over and over like a mantra.

"Yes?" He placed a hand on the small of my back and pushed me towards him. The ache between my legs multiplied as I wrapped a leg around his waist. I couldn't get him close enough. "Oh fuck, Peeta. I want you…but not here, baby." He pushed my dress aside and wrapped his tongue around my nipple. "Oh shit, please baby. Not here." I begged. My mind fought my body as it responded to his assault on my senses. It's been so long since he touched me that way. But we were at Effie's home and exposed. I didn't want anyone to see Peeta and me at our most intimate moment even though I was dying for him to touch me. With the strength that I had left to resist him, I lifted his head from my breast and kissed him. We ravaged each other with our kisses leaving our lips swollen and red. When we parted we were both breathing hard.

Our foreheads rested upon each other. "I love you, please don't leave me," he whispered, his eyes closed as tears tracked down his cheeks.

"Hey, I'm not going anywhere." I placed both hand on his cheeks as my thumbs wiped his tears away. "I love you. And you're mine now. I'm not going anywhere I promise."

He nodded his head. We held each other for a while until we heard Delly's voice inside the house. "…and you're an asshole, Bron. Just leave me the fuck alone." Peeta gasped in shock.

"Delly, calm down, I'm sure Bron didn't mean that?" Johanna said in calm manner.

"Yes, he did or else he wouldn't have said it in the first place," Delly stated.

"Delly, get back here and talk to me like an adult," Bron screamed at her as we heard a door slam shut.

"Oh my god, what's going on?" I asked. "I knew she was mad at him but didn't think it was that bad." I looked back at Peeta. "Are you okay?" His head was down.

"I'm sorry," he said, unaware or concerned of Delly and Bron's dilemma.

"Why are you sorry?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around his waist, laying my head on his shoulder.

"I didn't mean to attack you like that." He kissed my head "You look so sexy in that dress I couldn't help myself. I've been wanting to kiss all night."

I chuckled in spite of myself. "Then mission accomplished," I admitted. "It was Johanna's idea to get the dress. She said you couldn't resist me when I wore it."

"Whatever. You could have worn a flour sack and I would still find you sexy as ever." His hand slipped behind my dress rubbing his hand on my exposed back. His touch sent shivers down my spine. If the preview of his erection on my belly was an indication to where our night would lead, I couldn't wait to get him alone in our bed.

"Only you would," I sighed. The evidence between my legs of my desire for him was making me feel uncomfortable. I needed relief soon but my bladder had other ideas. With his strong arms around me I was too comfortable to move. The world was collapsing around us. Gale tried to take Peeta away from me with the help of his accomplice, Eva. Perry. In a few weeks he will endure and suffer through the new treatments Dr. Aurelius has designed to remove the venom in his system. Half of Panem believed that he's a traitor while the other half adored him. Whatever fears Peeta experienced and struggled with, I needed him to know that I was going to run and I will be at his side. "Damnit," I scolded myself.

"What's wrong? Peeta asked.

"I have to use the bathroom," I admitted.

"Oh, okay. Then what's the problem," he inquired. I loved the crinkles that formed on his forehead. His lips were rosy red and swollen from our kisses. I leaned over to kiss him.

"I like it here," I said between his lips as I cupped his hard butt cheeks with both hands. "I don't want to move."

"Yeah, well if you go now and do your business. I'll still be here and we can, you know…" He wiggled his brows. I laughed at his suggestion as I pecked his lips one more time.

"Okay, just don't go anywhere and I'll be right back." I turned to leave when he grabbed my hand and smashed his lips to mine. I was breathless when our kiss ended. He had one hand cupping my face.

"Hurry back." His eyes were dark with lust and desire.

"Okay," I muttered. God he was killing me. I wanted to stay and continue our make out session but I needed to pee. I walked back into the house. Haymitch and Bron were still seated at the dinner table. Bron held a bottle of beer in his hand while Haymitch sipped his glass of water. He kept to his sobriety knowing that he needed to be sober during this part of the trip. "Where are the girls?" I asked.

"Effie went to her office to answer a phone call and Johanna went after Delly," Haymitch answered. "Is Peeta okay?"

"He's fine, just tired but okay." I hoped that Haymitch didn't scrutinize me to closely as Itasted and remembered Peeta's kisses. "Do you know where the bathroom is located? I think I'll get lost if I wandered on my own."

"Outside the door, turn right in the hallway first door on the left," Haymitch answered. It struck me how much he knew this place so well. I found the door leading to the room and opened it with caution. The room was the size of my master bedroom. A full-length mirror hung at one side of the wall while two lounge chairs were situated in the center of the room. It was beautifully designed like the rest of the house with white marble tiled floor, two sinks and columns. A small door led to the toilet. I still wondered why Effie could give this up?

After a few seconds I relieved my bladder and opened the door to find Delly and Johanna seated in the lounge chairs. Delly was wiping her eyes with the back of her hand as Johanna handed her a tissue to wipe her face.

"It's not right Johanna," Delly whispered.

"Well, we can't do anything about it now, it's done," Johanna returned.

I washed my hands and turned to them. "What's going on Delly?" I asked as I wiped my my hands with a towel hanging the closest to me. I wanted to get back to Peeta but Delly was hurting and she needed my support as well. She had been kind, supportive and understanding throughout our trip that I felt the need to comfort her. I knew that if Peeta were here he would understand. I have all night with him to look forward to.

"Nothing, Katniss," she answered back as she looked at Johanna.

"Delly," Johanna scolded her. "You just yelled at Bron for no reason. And then you ran of out the room."

"It's just a misunderstanding," Delly replied. She was wringing her hands as she played with her engagement ring. "I think the stress is catching up to me. I mean, I don't know what's wrong with me. I get so upset with the silliest things and then I'm crying and laughing like I can't control myself." Her lips quivered and suddenly she broke down into tears. "Fuck this, I don't know why I'm feeling like this." I sat beside her sandwiching Delly between Johanna and me. "I love Bron so much. I really do but sometimes, his job…" She bent over covering her face with her hands.

"I'm sorry if his job is coming between you and Bron," I said.

"No don't feel bad, Katniss," she said as she sat up wiping her face with the tissue. "I would never trust anyone to protect Peeta but Bron. I'm not mad about that." She took my hand into hers. "Really, I'm not. I'm glad that they along so well, you know. Like brothers." I smiled at her comment. "It's just lately, I haven't been feeling well and I get so worked up. And––I can't help it…and I take it out on him. I know it's not fair. And––"

"And––go on Delly, tell Katniss what really is bothering you," Johanna replied. She stared at Delly encouraging her to continue.

"Well, I'm really not sure…and I didn't want to say anything until I was confident and was sure…" she stumbled to explain herself.

"What, Delly? What's wrong?" I asked, fear and worry surfaced in my mind.

"The thing is…I think I might be pregnant," she said. _'Holy shit'_ I blinked several times, my mouth opened but no sound came out. "I didn't have a chance to ask Kara and make sure since she left this afternoon so––"

"She can't remember the last time she had a period," Johanna spoke. Come to think of it, I haven't been tracking my own. Due to the lack of nutrition and starvation before I was reaped, my menstrual period was erratic. It was difficult to track. I really didn't have to worry about getting pregnant since my sexual activity with Peeta hasn't included…oh hell, I have to talk to Kara as soon as I reached the Capitol. I'm sure that in the near future Peeta and I will take the next step into our relationship. I longed for it and I think with time Peeta will be ready. Now that Eva is no longer a danger to him, he will recover and feel safe again. "But since you've been taking your pills, you might not be and you're just freaking out."

"There always a small percentage that I might be," Delly answered.

"And if you are pregnant?" Johanna asked.

"Then you two are going to be Auntie Johanna and Auntie Katniss." She smiled but I detected a bit of anxiety in her tone. "I'm not saying anything to Bron until I'm really sure that I am." Her eyes grew wide. "Oh god, what am I going to do? We only got engaged and we haven't set a date. Do we want a Capitol ceremony…will Bron want to get married there too because I want to do a Toasting Ceremony at District 12––"

"Whoa, there Delly," Johanna remarked. "Take one thing at time, will you? Before you start picking out flowers for your wedding, I'll sneak a pregnancy test in the train for you, all right?" Delly nodded her head. A wedding, a baby on the way. It was all too much to digest. Before I could utter a word, a loud knock interrupted us.

"Katniss, I need to talk to you," Haymitch yelled outside the door. Delly, Johanna and I ran out the room. Bron was nowhere to be seen as Effie stood beside him. There was a look of fear and anxiety etched on his face. Effie was wringing her hands together.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Effie got a call a few minutes ago," he responded. "I have bad news."

"What?" I inquired as a fear radiated from my spine to the back of my head.

"Dr. Aurelius called from the facility," Effie continued. "Eva's missing and they can't find her. They think that someone helped her escaped." Eva, the mention of her name sucked the breath out of me and my only thoughts were of Peeta. Peeta!

"Oh my god, where is Peeta?" I screamed as I pushed everyone aside and ran out to where I left him. The back patio was empty. "Where is he? Peeta?" I screamed over and over. "Where are you?"

* * *

_**AN: I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. Just a quick question to my readers, though I'll write this story to its conclusion, I wonder if some of you are interested in reading a AU Hunger Games or Modern story starring the Star Crossed Lovers. Please leave comments or suggestions at your convenience. I already have two stories in outline form and can't decide which to write after completing 'The Weary Heart." Have a great weekend.**_


	38. Chapter 38 - Brothers and Sisters

Chapter 38 – Brothers and Sisters

_AN: To my reviewers [Trude, gengen00, everlasting1286, Aqua Rules, guest, LACR and betazoid4] and for those for alerted and favored my stories. You guys rock. So you know the drill, Hunger Games belongs to Suzanne Collins. All mistakes are mine.__Happy Reading!**  
**_

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**Rory Hawthorne POV ––**

My hand ached from gripping the rifle too tight as I held it in my hand. I loved going to the firing range whenever I felt angry or unsettled. I looked at the area around me as men and women milled about at the range. The sights, smells and sounds scared me at first but in time it comforted me. This was not the life I had expected to have after the rebellion. My all black uniform was uncomfortable under the bright sun as sweat dripped from my face and chest.

Today for some reason my rifle and gear felt heavier and cumbersome. The first time I was handed a gun, it scared me; that a piece of metal could unleash so much harm and destruction. I knew what it was capable off when in use. Gale taught me how to hunt before the war, I felt guilty when I shot my first squirrel. Then he said that hunting was the only way to survive. We were top of the food chain. I didn't understand what he meant when he went on about giving me the 'survival of fittest' speech. I was too busy feeling ill for killing a helpless animal. But with time, I got over. Especially when my mom served me dinner that night with the squirrel I killed that afternoon. Yay, for us topping the food chain.

I sighed. I missed my brother Vic and sister Posy. I missed my mom too but that was to be expected. Missing my siblings surprised me. For a long time, I was mad at everything and everyone after the war ended, especially my mom. Gale may have kept the food on the table as we struggled to survive before the rebellion but it was my mom that held the family together.

I resented her intervention when she went to Gale. Since the end of the rebellion I felt lost and angry at the world. I lost so much and acted out in anger. When District 12 was bombed it was difficult to settle in District 13 since 12 was the only home I had ever had. It was not much as we struggled to survive but it was home and we were together. Now I barely saw my family and Gale was never around. He reveled in the war. It was a side of him I never knew. He loved being a soldier. Since Katniss' reaping he was sullen, angry and temperamental. I knew he loved Katniss and was resolved to losing her in the first games, but since her return he was short-tempered and unapproachable. He was someone I had looked up to since dad died in the mines.

He was now someone I didn't recognize with his fancy new title and job. He was Commander Gale Hawthorne, First Guardsmen. I was happy for him since it gave him a sense purpose in his life. I thought the changes would do him good, but with his obsession with Katniss and especially Peeta Mellark, he was someone foreign to me. He changed a lot. He hardly drank alcohol since it was not easy to get. Now he drank so much, his demeanor changed revealing a side I'd like to forget.

So when he told me or rather volunteered me into the Guardsmen, I thought hey, maybe this was an opportunity to be with my brother, Gale. I was wrong. I was transferred to District 2 for training and I rarely saw him. And when I did I had to address him as Commander or First Guardsmen Hawthorne. I respected his new job and title because he deserved it. He was not the brother I hoped to reconnect with by having the Guardsmen in common with him. Even Vic couldn't wait to get recruited. I'm officially a Private 1st classmen in training for the Guardsmen until I reached the age of 18. Then with all the training I would be given a full rank of Private. I hated all the classes since I had never done well in school to begin with. I excelled in the range due to my experiences in the woods foraging for food and game.

So when a few months ago Gale assigned me to District 12, I thought he was assigning me there to be with our family and I had certain privileges. Little did I realize that he had ulterior motives. I was to report to him every week to spy on Katniss and Peeta Mellark. I was livid but executed my orders like a good little soldier. I thought it would please him but the more I briefed him of their activities, the more distant he became.

I sent Peeta white roses, letters and the white suit he wore during his time at the Capitol. I never knew the significance but executed Gale's orders. I followed them without question since I wasn't really hurting Peeta. Then one day he asked me to cause a fire and destroy Mellark's home. I was reluctant to burn his house down but I had little choice since Gale questioned my loyalty to him.

With each task Gale became hard and unrelenting in his obsession with Peeta. So to impress him, I had snuck into the woods near the Victor's Village and spotted Katniss and Peeta with Delly Cartwright and Guardsmen Bron Masters. So to prove a point and display my loyalty I shot Peeta for him.

I was still new to my new rifle when I shot him. I only meant to hit his fake leg but with the recoil it aimed too high and actually hit him. I felt sick to my stomach that I ran all the way back to the barracks and vomited whatever meals I consumed that day. When I told Gale what I had done, he was so livid that I could have killed him. I didn't mean to hurt him but scare him like Gale told me to by stalking him.

He so was so angry that he transferred me back to District 2 for more training. Then assigned me to the poorest of districts, District 11. That district main production was farming and agriculture. If the crops failed that year due to the weather and other factors, their source of income and supplies from the Capitol and other districted affected them. At least 12 had the resources that all the districts needed to barter with. It was like being sent to live in hell.

Life in 12 was hard, painful but simple. I knew who I was. When we were evacuated to 13, I thought our simple lives were over. I never believed that we would win against President Snow and the Capitol. My life in 13 had me in a routine that I was comfortable with. Food, shelter and clothing were provided as long as we did our jobs. I felt safe but it wasn't home. I missed the woods and hunting. I even missed the Seam to my surprise.

But in living at District 13 gave me an opportunity to be close to Prim. At 13 my relationship with Prim Everdeen blossomed. I had always had a crush on her since we were children. Because my brother and her sister hung out together, Prim and I had assumed that Gale and Katniss would marry one day to combine our families together. It made sense. And with that thought in mind, I had hoped that their union would give me the opportunity to court Prim as well. Two brothers from one family united with two sisters. The Hawthornes and Everdeens.

The 74th Hunger Games changed all that. What had happened between Gale and Katniss? They no longer had a relationship I assumed they had. All of the sudden Katniss was with Peeta Mellark and they became the Star Crossed Lovers. I asked Gale about it and he exploded and said that it was all a lie. But as I watched them I knew that something happened between them. It was evident that Mellark was in love with Katniss. She was elusive with her feelings towards him. I was so confused I just gave up thinking about them and concentrated on my feelings for Prim.

Primrose Everdeen, the adored sister of Katniss Everdeen. She had long blond hair and blue eyes just like her mom. She was half Seam and half Merchant. Everyone at the Seam loved her because she was pretty, smart and kind unlike her older sister. Katniss had never been mean to any of my siblings or me. She was very smart and quiet just like my brother Gale. They were so alike in personality that they made sense together.

Then the war happened. Prim became involved with the rebellion wanting to help out as a healer. I admired her for it. Gale was so busy in 13 that I found myself responsible for my mom, Vic and Posy. I discovered the responsibilities that Gale abandoned hard and overwhelming. I felt I lost my father again, but this time I lost a brother. He took care of us then abandoned us to fend for ourselves in 13 while he fought alongside Katniss. After the war, he changed again.

I don't who he is now. I just wanted him to be proud of me. I wanted my brother back.

The time I spent at the firing range didn't ease my anger and frustration. My visit to see Gale only angered me some more. So after an hour I climbed on board a hovercraft and went to District 11 and hitched a ride to 12. It was an inconvenient ride since hovercrafts were forbidden in 12. Gale tried to convince President Paylor to give the Guardsmen permission to travel directly to 12 in case of emergencies. She relented. Then one day he traveled there without permission because he had 'an emergency.' She was so mad at him that she almost fired him on the spot. Gale hated any figures of authority. He should realize the hypocrisy since he was one of then now, a figure without authority and power. He's an idiot.

My walk to my mom's place only took a few minutes. District 12 felt odd but new at the same time. The divide between the Seam and the Merchants didn't exist. A new township sprouted where there was nothing but rubble and death. We were rebuilding our lives one day at a time. New buildings were constructed and people replaced the ones buried there. It was bittersweet coming back. I grew up fast because of it.

I entered into a modest home that my family resided. It had three bedrooms and 2 and half baths. The half I never quite understood since when can you have a half a room. It didn't make sense to me. "Rory, what are you doing home? Aren't you supposed to be in District 2?" my mom, Hazelle asked with worry and sadness in her eyes. I disobeyed Gale and took the next hovercraft to District 12. He can charge me for disobeying orders and leaving my post. I didn't care.

"I saw Gale," I explained. "I went to talk to him and ended up fighting instead."

"Honey, your brother is a very important person now. He had responsibilities and––"

"I don't care," I seethed in anger. "He didn't even call you to wish you 'Happy Birthday."

"I know you meant well. But you shouldn't bother him."

"I know he's busy being the big man at District 2, but he should at least called you. A simple call to say '_Happy Birthday, Mom. Sorry I couldn't be there.' _Or send you a gift telling that he's thinking about you…" His selfishness angered me. When Katniss came back from the arena, she brought her family with her to the Victor's Village. She had money and became a Victor but she still took care of them. She didn't change much. When Gale got his new job, he dumped us at District 2 and we hardly ever saw him. We were homesick living in a strange and chaotic city. So when my mom told me she wanted to go back to District 12, I was happy for them. I only had a couple of more weeks to finish my first year a training school. My brother promised me that I would be assigned to 12 once I graduated.

"Rory," she sighed. I looked down to her. I grew taller in 13 during the months we lived there. I was just as tall as Gale. However, I felt the weight on my shoulders when Gale abandoned us. It was too hard to bear on my own. My mother began to rely on me to keep our family together while he partied and drifted away from us. I appreciated and understood the responsibilities that Gale shouldered when my father died. I just didn't appreciate that he shook us off the first got the chance with his new job. "You need to concentrate on you own life and let your brother––"

"He's not my brother. He's Commander Hawthorne––" I sneered at her. She had explained that Gale was adjusting to his new life and she didn't hold it against him that he was not around. He had a life of his own now. Just because he grew up to became a 'big man' in the District 2 didn't give him the right to leave us behind. We were family and you don't abandon them. Just as I was about to explode Posy and Vic entered the room.

"Rory, I missed you," Posy squealed as she launched her small body into my arms. Vic ran up to greet me as well. Since the end of war, both my sibling were healthy and happy. Something I never thought they would ever be.

"Hello, Posy," I greeted my little sister. She was the spitting image of mom with her dark hair and gray eyes. She wore her hair in a single braid just like Katniss. It was the newest fad since she was reaped and became a Victor. I grunted in a mocking manner. "Oh my, Posy. You're getting heavy I can barely carry you any longer." She giggled.

"I'm not a baby anymore." She kissed my cheek then I planted her on the ground.

"Wait a second, are you sure you're my cute baby sister, Posy?" I asked looking around pretending that I didn't know her. "You sound like her but you look…bigger." I pinched her chubby cheek. "Who's this pretty little girl in front of me?"

"I'm Posy, Rory, it's me," she smiled. "Mommy got me this new dress," She twirled around, her arms wide. "I'm wearing the new shoes you got me for my birthday, see?" She kicked her heels to show off her black leather shoes with a shine silver buckle.

"Oh, so it is you, Posy." I bowed. "I'm so sorry I didn't recognize you. You look so pretty. Just like mom." I turned to my younger brother, Vic. He had grown as well.

"Hey, kiddo. You been taking care of mom and Posy like I told you?"

"Yes, I am," he said as he stood tall and straight. He looked up to me as I had with Gale. I didn't want to fail or abandon them. My time during my training opened my eyes to the responsibilities that Gale handed down to me when he left to live in District 2. It was unspoken but understood. I was the head of the family.

"Hey, Rory. Are you staying for dinner?" he asked as he stared at my uniform. Vic couldn't wait to turn 13 so he could attend District 2 military school. It was the first step to joining the Guardsmen, the new military force that replaced the Peacekeepers headed by my brother. My idiot and selfish brother, Gale Hawthorne.

"Yeah, if that's okay with you Mom?" I asked her.

"Don't need to ask Rory," she said as she hugged me. "You're always welcome to stay for dinner." I closed my eyes and took a deep breath smelling her perfume. Her scent reminded of home and family. "I'm so proud of you, Rory. Had your father been alive he would have been as proud of you as I am."

"Thanks Mom, I needed to hear that," I said as I brushed tears from my eyes. "I could hang out for a couple of hours but I need to head back to District 2. My ride is leaving in 2 hours so I hoped that I have dinner with you guys before I head back."

"That's very thoughtful of you," she said. _'Thoughtful,'_ a word that didn't describe my brother. He may have kept us alive during the hard times, but I sensed that he helped us because he felt it was his duty. Not that he really cared because if he did, he wouldn't have cut us off in his life. I guess we were a burden he was happy to cast off.

He had a different girl in his arm once a week. Girls fell all over him wherever he went. He confused me since I thought he was madly in love with Katniss. How can he go around with other girls if he truly loved her? I missed Prim so much that I couldn't stomach the idea of seeing anyone right now. Don't get me wrong, as Gale's younger brother I had several girls flirting with me, but my thoughts always go back to Prim. I loved her and I knew I needed time to get over losing her. My anger towards Gale equaled the anger I felt for Katniss. She caused the whole war as the MockingJay. I lost Prim because of her. Prim didn't deserve to die. My mind wandered that I didn't realize that my mom was talking to me.

"Rory, are you okay?" she asked. Vic and Posy finished dinner and was eating dessert, chocolate ice crea,. I looked down on my plate and realized that I only ate half of my rabbit stew.

"Sorry, mom," I said. "Not really hungry, I guess." I pushed the bowl over. "What were you guys saying?"

"Peeta is rebuilding the bakery. Even though he's not here, they started construction," Vic added. "I hope that he bakes those strawberry tarts they made before the war. They were my favorite."

"I love the sugar cookies, he gave me," Posy smiled. "I love with ones with the pink frosting shaped like a flower. He said a posy for Miss Posy." She giggled at the memory.

"When did you ever get sugar cookies?" I asked. Posy blushed.

"Peeta would sneak one for me whenever we passed the bakery," she said. "It was our secret whenever he gave me one."

"Yeah, when he came back after the games, he would give me a strawberry tart," Vic added. "He promised us not to tell anyone, especially Gale."

"I like Peeta. He was always so nice to me," Posy said.

"I always thought that he was such a sweet boy," mom spoke. "It's no wonder he turned out the way he did." She sighed. Everyone knew how his own mother treated him. Mrs. Mellark was a scary woman, but she was scarier when she was mad or angry. As a matter of fact, I don't think I ever seen her smile. I knew I was lucky to have my mom. Even at her angriest, she never hit us.

I never gave much thought to Peeta Mellark. I only knew that he was the youngest of the Mellark brothers, not as tall or broad shoulders like his two older brothers. I never heard him say an unkind word to any one from the Seam. Though all three were blond hair and blue eyes, Peeta stuck out for he was generous, kind and quiet like his father. His two older brothers were loud, obnoxious and mean spirited. They never said a kind word to anyone at the Seam. They took after their mother.

The guilt and shame I felt for stalking and shooting him tore me in half. But I was loyal to Gale, and when he said Peeta stole Katniss away from him, I took his side.

"I really glad that Peeta and Katniss are together," mom stated. "They suffered so much. The sacrifices they made…so young…they deserve to be happy." She played with her spoon as she dipped it inside her bowl of ice cream. "She deserved to be happy even if that happiness excluded Gale."

"But Gale still loves Katniss, mom," I told her. _'Obsessively I might add.'_

"And if he really loves her he should let her go and be happy with Peeta because it was so obvious that she loves him." She stared into my eyes. "You can't force someone to love you, Rory. It's selfish and in the long run, you'll both be unhappy and miserable."

"She really is in love with Peeta Mellark?" I needed the confirmation. "She doesn't feel sorry for him like Gale says she does?" I wanted my brother a chance of happiness with Katniss if she truly did love him. But it was obvious to everyone that she loved Peeta. She practically proclaimed it during the baking competition. Why can't Gale see that?

"They were meant to be together," mom stated. "And no matter what your brother says or do, he can stop them for being together." I didn't know who to be furious with…Gale for lying and making a food out of me or Katniss who didn't deserve to be happy for leading him on and for not being able to protect Prim. Why does she deserve to be happy?

I wished Prim was here. My heart ached for her, missing her so much. I understood Gale as he pined for Katniss. I don't know what it is for us Hawthornes falling in love with the Everdeen girls. I'll never have a chance to love Prim. I have Gale and Katniss to blame for that. Neither of them deserves to be happy. With a sigh I stood up. "There's someplace I got visit before I leave, mom." I kissed her cheek and said my good byes to Posy and Vic with a promise to come back to visit soon as I could.

With my rifle strapped on my back, I walked down the lane through the middle of District 12's new town. I hoped that I reached my destination before I hitched my ride to District 11. Twenty minutes later, I stood in front of a marble statue dedicated to the memory of Primrose Everdeen. I heard about the park that Peeta Mellark bought in behalf of the Everdeen family. My stomach plummeted as I stared at the white stone of Prim designed by Peeta. He did this for her, Katniss Everdeen. He knew the importance of family unlike my brother, Gale. If her really loved Katniss, he would have helped her heal and be her friend. Peeta accomplished what Gale failed to do. Be there for her in the good and bad times. I felt guilt and shame for hurting and stalking Peeta. How could I have been so cruel and hateful for someone I never really knew? All the things Gale told me about Peeta were lies and half-truths.

I fell on my knees and sobbed in anger. "I'm sorry Peeta, I'm sorry." I knew at that moment that I had to figure out a way to make it up to Peeta Mellark. He didn't deserve the treatment and harassment he experienced because of Gale.

Gale, he's my brother and I always love and respect him, but family loyalty be damned. One day I know I'll have to make a choice between Peeta and Gale. Do I stay true to Gale because he is my brother or can I live with myself if he hurts Peeta and I could have prevented it? Family loyalty or my soul? I guess I'll find out one way or another.

* * *

**Katniss POV –**

"Bron is looking for him," Haymitch answered. "He sent the guys to look everywhere."

"We can't trust them," I yelled as images of Eva hurting Peeta filled my head. "What if she found him and took him again? Bron was supposed to watch him––make sure nothing happened to him."

"Katniss, calm down," Effie said as she tried to soothe me.

"Calm down," I screamed. "Eva escaped and Peeta is missing. You want me to calm down?" My stomach ached, my throat felt raw. "Oh fuck, I left him alone for a few minutes, and he's gone…why do we even have guards to watch over him when they can't protect him?" My voice echoed in the spacious room. Delly was close to tears while Johanna's face looked grim.

"Katniss, calm down. Maybe he's wandering in the house," Effie repeated.

"He wouldn't just walk off and not tell me where he was going, damnit," I screamed. "Fuck Haymitch, where is he?" He grabbed me but I struggled against him.

"We'll find him, Katniss, I promise," he said as he wrapped his arms around me. I couldn't control my tears as they dripped from my eyes. I struggled to breath. Eva escaping and Peeta missing was too coincidental. "I hate to do this but we still have to proceed with my plan."

I didn't give a shit about his plan; I just wanted to find Peeta. "Effie send them in." She opened a large door to find myself staring at my double, an actress and actor who looked and dressed exactly like Peeta and me. My heart ached as I looked at Peeta's twin.

"Everyone, I want you to meet Hayden and Julia," Haymitch introduced them. "But for now we call them Peet and Kat so we don't give get mixed up." At another time, I would have found this moment amusing. Right now, not so much. Peeta would have laughed at his twin. He looked like my Peeta but I could tell by his nose and ears that it wasn't him. Peet lacked the twinkle in his eyes and dimples that my Peeta had when he smiled. His hair wasn't as blond and as curly as Peeta. I held back a sob and tore my eyes away from him. It hurt too much looking at him. I barely saw the resemblance on my twin. She was as tall and lean as me but more endowed in the chest area. I hated her already. They looked happy together.

"Peet here helped Effie and me catch Eva," Haymitch stated.

"It is such an honor to finally to meet you, Ms. Everdeen," Kat spoke as she extended her hand and smiled at me. I couldn't smile back. I was too worried for Peeta to acknowledge their presence. "I am so glad that Peet and I could help you in any way we can." Fake Peeta took a step towards me. I panicked and stepped back.

"Haymitch, I can't do this right now," I bawled.

"I'm sorry, but this is not a good time," Haymitch said. "We have a situation."

"A situation?" I mimicked. "You call this a situation?"

"We understand. Ms. Trinket told us just a few seconds ago." Peet spoke as he reached for Kat's hand. "We would have like to have met you and Peeta in better circumstances but we do understand and are glad to help out."

"Thank you," I acknowledge their assistance but seeing them together made my heart hurt. I ached for my Peeta.

"Uh, Peet, you know the deal. You need to take the rings off from here on out." Haymitch pointed at their hands. I was so distracted that I never noticed the rings on their fingers.

"Oh, sorry. We meant to remove them when we left this morning." Kat stated as she grabbed Peet's hand and removed his ring. He did the same for her as he handed her ring back to her. Kat removed her necklace and looped both rings in the chain and fastened it back on to her neck.

"You're married?" Delly surmised. I gasped in shock.

"Just a little over a month this week," Peet announced as he grabbed Kat's hand and kissed her knuckles. I noticed the same wristband wrapped around his wrist.

"Why is he wearing––" I pointed to his wrist.

"He has to look exactly like Peeta to the smallest detail as possible." I then looked at his pierced ears minus earrings. Even Kat wore the same necklace as me. "His wristband is just a tracking device, it's not medical band like Peeta's."

"I don't know how he can wear this everyday," Peet complimented my Boy with the Bread. "It makes me admire him more than ever."

"He really must love you so much to wear that," Kat added. "I'm not sure how anyone can endure what happened to him let alone survive it."

"You're damn right he survived," Johanna echoed. "There's only one Peeta Mellark."

"And Katniss Everdeen," Delly stated.

"Listen, we don't have much time, Bron will be bringing the guys in any minute so––you all know what to do," Haymitch said as he turned to me. "I know that you're scared, but please trust me. We'll find Peeta if we have to scour all of Panem but for now, stick to our plan. Everything will turn out, okay?" I wanted to lash out but I was too scared. "Listen, just stay here with Effie like I planned."

'_The plan,'_ I was sick of hearing about his plan that I lost my patience. "I need to find Peeta. I don't give a shit about your plan right now," I sneered.

"Katniss, manners," Effie spoke in a calm tone. "I know your upset but please control yourself. Just listen to Haymitch. He would never let anything happen to him. Trust him. We'll find him, I promise." I grabbed my arms around my waist wishing it were Peeta holding me. Delly and Johanna wrapped their arms around me. I didn't want them comforting me; I wanted Peeta.

"I did, twice and looked where it got me," I bawled. My accusation stung Haymitch. I could see it in his face but I could care less. "You said this place was secure and Peeta is missing. You promised…and now…" My throat felt dry. I didn't know how to council my emotions as fear, anger, frustration and pain bubbled inside me. I should have taken Peeta with me. The next time we get him back, I'll cuff him to me and will never leave his side. I'll stick to him, hover, smother him with all my attention until he sick of me and then start all over. I prayed I get the chance. God help me if Eva has him again and hurt like before––my promise to Peeta is null and void. I'll…I'll tie her to a tree and draw two arrows into her eyes. As I looked at Johanna, I doubt I won't get much resistance in hunting her down.

Bron returned with the rest of the Guardsmen. "I'm sorry but we swept the whole grounds and nothing," he reported to Haymitch. I bit the inner side of my cheek from crying. "Katniss––"

"You promised me," I whimpered.

"I'm sorry––"

"Fuck, you're sorry?" I screamed at him.

"What the hell is going on? Where is Peeta?" Jace spoke. "Do you really think she––" Jonah jabbed him with his elbow. "What? It's what everyone is thinking?"

I ignored everyone especially Peet. He looked like Peeta but he wasn't my Boy with the Bread. I focused on my Peeta with whose warm strong hands comforted, soothed and excited with a mere touch. I remembered how held me hours ago while Haymitch explained his 'plan.'

The 'plan' was to have our doubles return to the train after dinner and have Peeta and me stay behind. Effie would escort us via hovercraft to the Capitol. This plan was to have our spy report to Gale as they traveled back with our doubles while Bron and Haymitch catch our spy during his transmission. Haymitch had installed a camera in the communication room hoping him to catch him in the act of communicating with Gale. We needed solid proof.

'Holy crap, do you think she has him?" Jonah asked.

"Stop saying that. We have to proceed as planned," Haymitch said. I stared back my former mentor. "Everyone calm down."

"What about Peeta?" I roared. "Shouldn't we be looking for him?" Then it dawned on me. "We can track him like the last time," I explained.

"Listen, Bron. I will track Peeta while everyone else head back to the train," Haymitch said.

"No fucking way, I want to hunt that bitch down if she's loose and took Peeta again," Johanna exploded. "I want to squeeze her lily white neck with my bare hands when I find her."

"Not if I get to her first," I roared.

"Shut up, all of you and do as I say," Haymitch demanded. "Bron, take Peet and Kat back with the guys. Delly and Johanna will go with you." He waved his hand as Delly and Johanna protested. "You left together so people expect you to arrive in the Capitol together. "When…when we find Peeta I'll personally airlift him to the Capitol myself."

"No, I'm going to help you find Peeta," Johanna bellowed. Haymitch took her aside as he grabbed her shoulders. I appreciated the love and loyalty she felt for Peeta. It rivaled the devotion I had for him. Delly and Johanna had become like sisters to me. I lost Prim and my mother and in turn I got Delly, Johanna and Effie. They helped fill the void in my life.

"Johanna, please go back to the train," he pleaded. "I need you to back me up. You're the only one I trust." A look passed between them. It was fleeting but I saw it. "Go back to the train and keep everyone safe." He turned to me, "and as for you––"

No, I shook my head. "No, no, I have to look for Peeta," I shrugged him off as he tried to contain me by placing his hands on my shoulders. I couldn't bear for anyone to touch me. "Fuck you, go ahead with your _plan_. Peeta is missing and all you can think about is your plan." I bent over as I struggled to breath. "I failed him. I left him alone––she's missing and…" Johanna dared and grabbed me upright to her eye level.

"We'll find him, _I_ promise you, we'll find him," she challenged me. "We will do as Haymitch says––" I opened my mouth.

"You have to think Katniss. What you do now affects everyone," Haymitch interjected. "And make no mistake, Peeta is my priority. You will stay here with Effie. Kat and Peet will accompany everyone back to the train and arrive at the Capitol." He gestured to my twin and Peeta's counterpart. They looked beautiful together. I now know what people saw in us. I just wished I hadn't denied myself and avoided the connection between us since the first arena.

"Don't worry about Eva. She will be dealt with, I swear to you Katniss," I closed my eyes It was difficult to believe in his promises when I recalled the memory of his other promises that led me to lose Peeta. But then I remembered how I reacted when I left him in the Quarter Quell. I broke the arena and all hell broke loose. I never thought of the consequences when I acted without restraint or forethought.

"Trust and have faith in Haymitch," Effie spoke. I looked at the people around me, my family. Delly, Johanna, Haymitch, Bron and Effie held their head up high. I was falling apart without the Boy with the Bread beside me. My anger and frustration colored my judgment. I wanted to throttle every Guardsmen and make him reveal himself. I lost patience when my heart and anchor was ripped from me. I fought the urge to run back to 12 and hide.

'_Peeta, where are you,'_ my mind repeated. At that moment all the energy I had invigorated me. I looked forward to being undressed by Peeta with his loving hands as his mouth traveled to every exposed skin he kissed and nibbled. There was a look of promise in his eyes when I left him. I left him. I'm going to get him back tonight if I had to look for him all-evening.

"Okay, we're wasting time," Haymitch announced. "Bron take them back to the train. See you in an hour."

"Shouldn't we be looking for Peeta?" Jonah asked.

"We need to be on schedule. Katniss, Effie and I will track him," Haymitch announced.

"What if you need help?" Jace asked.

"Please just trust me. The three of us will find him and get him to the Capitol," he said. "If Eva is with him, we can handle her." _You're damn right we can handle her._

"I don't like this, Haymitch," Bron interjected. "I want to stay and help you look for Peeta."

"Bron, you have to escort Peet and Kat to the Capitol. All of you are expected." Haymitch scrubbed a hand over his head. "I know that with Peeta missing, it's making things complicated but I assure you, everything will work out. Just please trust me. All of you need to trust me."

Bron took Haymitch aside. "What about…you know 'the plan'?"

"I can't think about that right now. My main priority is to find Peeta fast," Haymitch stated.

"Do you want me to––"

"No, just proceed and escort everyone to the Capitol. Katniss, Effie and I will meet up with you when we track Peeta."

"I still think I should stay behind and help you," Bron suggested.

"Bron, Katniss and I can handle this." With a nod, Bron and his Guardsmen escorted everyone out of Effie's house. Delly turned to me as she took me into her arms and whispered in my ear. "Everything will be alright, Katniss. Just trust Haymitch. We would have never let anything happen to Peeta."

"Come on, Delly," Johanna shouted. She turned to Haymitch. "Make it right. They don't deserve this."

"Just go, Johanna," he said. He looked sad and guilt-ridden. I watched everyone leave the house as Delly and Johanna looked back one more time before entering the hover car. I waved at them.

Haymitch and Effie were in the midst of heated argument when I turned to them. "You promised her––how could you let this happen," Effie spoke, her eyes narrowed and teeth gnashed together. "I can't believe you would do this to them."

"I had my reason and––"

"Why are you arguing? You need to track Peeta. You're wasting time," I shouted at them. Haymitch turned to me, a look of guilt and shame on his face.

"Fix it." Effie shoved him forward.

"Listen, please let me explain before you go off on me," he said. Effie had her arms crossed. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a wristband. I gasped in horror.

"Why do have that? Is that Peeta's?" He shook his head.

"Don't freak out okay?" Haymitch said. "Kara replaced it for a reason and––"

"Oh my god, are you telling me we can't track him?" I screamed at him. I grabbed him by his lapels. "Peeta is out there and we can't track him now. Why would you do that?"

"Katniss, let go of him and let him explain," Effie said as she pulled me away from my former mentor. A large ball of fear settled into my gut. I struggled to breath through my nose. Tears fell from my eyes. "Why would do that?"

"Just don't do anything and follow me," Haymitch instructed. "Please trust me, Katniss." I stood there paralyzed for a moment. "Come on," He gestured with his hand. My feet felt like lead as I followed him back into the dining room. We passed the dining table and entered into Effie's kitchen.

There stood Peeta with his back turned dipping strawberries in a bowl of chocolate. "Peeta," I screamed so loud I startled him causing him to drop a strawberry into the bowl. I ran and wrapped my arms around him. "Peeta, you're okay, you're okay." I chanted over and over. Surprised and confused, he placed both of his hands on my face.

"Katniss, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" he asked. "Did something happen?"

"I couldn't find you…you weren't at the patio where I left you." I explained. I kissed his lips, cheeks, nose and every surface on his beautiful face. I was laughing and crying at the same time. We held each other so tight but it wasn't enough. I thought I lost him again.

"Well, I smelled chocolate," he explained. "So I asked Effie what was for dessert and she lead me into the kitchen. I told Haymitch to let you know I was in here."

"You told Haymitch––" I turned to him. "You made me believe that…you and Effie…how could you? I thought he was missing and Eva abducted him again."

"Eva? What are you talking about?" Peeta asked. His eyes were wide with a look of fear etched on his face.

"Please let me explain before you both get mad at me––" Haymitch pleaded.

"Mad? I'm furious," I screamed. "What kind of game are you playing? Why would you do that to me? Telling me that Peeta was missing when all this time he was in the kitchen." I turned to Peeta.

"Were you…did you know what he was planning?" I accused him.

"Planning what? Would someone please tell me what's going on?" Peeta inquired. "And where did everyone go" He looked behind Haymitch and Effie.

"Calm down and let me explain," Haymitch stated as he took a step back. "Listen, Katniss. Peeta doesn't know what's going on so don't get mad at him" Haymitch stated. "If you want to be pissed at someone, be pissed at me." I narrowed my eyes. "When you went to look for the bathroom, I got Effie to hide Peeta in the kitchen."

"Why would you do that?" Peeta asked.

"Please, just don't interrupt me and let me explain," Haymitch asked. "So, anyway. I know that all of you trust Bron. But me, being cynical and suspicious with everyone, I needed to know if I could trust him. He may be Delly's fiancé but how much do we really know about him? So I asked Johanna and Effie to help me set this up."

"Set what up? I don't understand?" I asked.

"He was setting up Bron to see if he's Gale's spy?" Peeta guessed. "Oh, Haymitch, after all this time how could you think that––"

"I'll make no apologies for what I've done," Haymitch interrupted. "I had to make sure he wasn't betraying us. You two mean more to me than anything in this world. If I'm wrong I'll apologize to Bron. Everyone is suspect to me until we catch the bastard that has been spying on us and that also includes Bron."

"Did Delly know what you were planning?" Peeta asked.

"Yes, she knows and she wasn't too happy about it."

"You didn't give her much choice, Abernathy," Effie added as she glanced at Haymitch. "He told her that he had to make sure once and for all. And that if she really cared about Peeta, she would do whatever it took to keep you safe. Even if it meant testing Bron's loyalty."

"How did she react?" I asked.

"Mad at first." Haymitch sighed then cringed.

"Mad, I bet she was furious," Peeta intoned.

"I can still hear her high pitch voice ringing in my ear," he snickered. "But ultimately she relented. She said that she didn't have any doubt about Bron and agreed to test him," Haymitch admitted. "If only to prove that Bron would never hurt Peeta in any way."

"Oh, Haymitch how could you do that to her?" Peeta asked.

"I had to make sure, Peeta. I can't gamble away your safety because he's Delly's fiancé. What if I was wrong and something happened to you? I couldn't live with myself because I ignored the doubt I had about him." I held onto Peeta with my arms around his waist and my head tucked underneath his chin. I didn't like it but he was right.

"Okay, I understand that it's necessary to test him, but why didn't you let me know about it?" I asked. "I was going out of my mind with worry." I really thought I lost him again.

"I'm sorry, Katniss but you're not a very good actress," Haymitch said. "I needed you to react naturally as if he was really missing."

"Haymitch, how can you do that to Katniss?" Peeta inquired.

"I had to make it credible that you were missing, Peeta," Haymitch reiterated. "It was necessary––"

Peeta took a step forward releasing me from his embrace. "And you scared her to death. It was not necessary to put through that. That was cruel," Peeta roared in anger. Haymitch flinched.

"It's okay, Peeta." I tried to sooth him. Yanking his hand as I pulled him back to me. "He didn't mean to hurt me. I'm so happy that you're here with me and nothing bad happened. That's all that matters now."

"If it'll make you feel better, Haymitch felt sick to his stomach knowing how scared and terrified you'd be," Effie said. "He wouldn't have made you go through that pain if it wasn't necessary."

"Don't ever do that again, Haymitch," I croaked. "I'm just so relieved that Peeta is safe now or else I'd be beating the shit out of you."

"Don't I know it," Haymitch guffawed.

"So what a minute, what about Eva?" Peeta questioned.

"Yeah, did she really escape?" I asked.

"No, Kara and Dr. Aurelius made arrangements and transferred her to another mental facility with better security. I got a call this afternoon that Gale tried to release her to his custody," Haymitch explained. "It was best to sneak her out and hide her away so that Gale can't get a hold of her."

"So she's locked up elsewhere?" Peeta asked, a look of relief on his face. "And Gale thinks that she escaped? And that Johanna and Delly know that me missing was just a ruse?

"Yes, they know, but with Eva missing that information I left out," Haymitch admitted.  
"Only, you, Katniss and Effie know the truth."

"Peeta, Gale will be too busy trying to look for her," Effie said. "And in the meantime, Johanna will go ahead with Haymitch's plan."

"She will be heading to the Capitol with everyone and will be looking out for our spy," Haymitch added. A spy who could be Delly's fiancé if Haymitch's suspicions are correct. Poor Delly. I hoped that Haymitch was wrong.

"So what now?" Peeta asked.

"You're not schedule for your treatment for at least another week," Effie stated. "So we're going to have you 'missing' for a couple of days. And Eva will miraculously reappear in due time."

"And in the meantime, you both will be laying low here at Effie's until we weed out our mole," Haymitch explained. "I'm going to return to the train with this––" He gestured to the wristband. "And another thing, I should explain. Beetee discovered that Gale has access to your wristband GPS frequency. That's why I have this with me."

"When did you find out about that?" Peeta asked.

"Beetee called to let me know that security was breached," Haymitch informed us. "Someone broke into his office and downloaded his computer. I guess, he found out that your band has a GPS and Gale used his security clearance to get access to Beetee's computer."

"Does he know that our necklaces are GPS equipped," I asked. I shuddered to think that he could track me anytime he wanted to.

"Only Effie and I can monitor your tracking devise," Haymitch explained.

"So he's been able to track Peeta all this time?" I seethed in anger. When will this obsession with Peeta end?

"That's why Kara replaced it today?" Peeta concluded. "She gave me a new one."

"Yes, and with a different signal that only Kara, Dr. Aurelius and I know incase we need to track you," Haymitch explained. "I have to go back and play the worried and frustrated former mentor who failed to protect you."

"So what about me? What are you gong to tell everyone when I don't come back with you?" I questioned him.

"Oh, you and I had really big fight and you are so upset with me that you decided to stay with Effie and look for Peet on your own."

"I could see Katniss doing that." Peeta snickered. I shoved him in playful manner. "What? You would do that." I nodded my head in agreement since my boyfriend knew so well. I was prepared to do just with or without Haymitch's help.

"Oh, one more thing I need to do before I go," he said as he straightened his shoulders and craned his neck. "You need to hit me." I looked at him in shock. "You know, to look convincing that we had a fight and that your really mad at me."

"Haymitch, that's not necessary," Effie squeaked.

"I'm not going to hit you," I said in horror.

"It was Johanna's idea," he reiterated. "Why would I leave your side if we didn't have a falling out."

"I can't. I won't hit you."

"Well, let me give you an incentive," he added. "I mean, I did lie to you about Peeta missing. I mean I could have told you what was planning, but you're a horrible actress."

"Stop, Haymitch, there is nothing you could say that will make me hit you," I said. "I understand why you did it, but Peeta is safe so––"

"Well, you had to understand why I did it," he continued. "You couldn't have pulled it off so convincingly. For example, you had to pretend that you were in love with Peeta after the first arena." I gasped in horror. How could he bring that up and throw back in my face in front of Peeta.

"Haymitch, how could you––" Peeta spoke, his eyes wide from shock and disbelief.

"Even I knew that you didn't love him with the way you acted. And you pretending to be love with him was pretty pathetic. It was obvious that Peeta loved you. You're a lousy kisser. I mean what kind of girl––" I balled my fist and raised my hand. The next thing I knew my fist connected with his face. Effie gasped in horror.

"Holy shit, that hurt," Haymitch said as he raised his hand to cover his eye and bent over. Effie stood beside him.

"You asked for it," she gloated.

"Yeah, but she didn't have to hit me so hard," he said.

"She could have given you a bloody nose," Peeta added. I looked at Peeta for a sign of disapproval and disappointment on his face. There was neither. "You're lucky she didn't have her bow and arrow near by."

"I'm not sorry," I scoffed at him. "You did ask me to hit you."

"I did, didn't I," Haymitch cackled to himself. We burst into laughter easing the tension in the air. I turned to Peeta and held him, promising my self that I was never letting him go.

An hour later after giving Haymitch a reluctant goodbye, Effie lead us to our room where we would be 'hiding out' for the next few days. Effie closed the door behind her. The room was spacious and luxurious with a large bed. A vanity table with a small lamp occupied one side of the room with a standing mirror beside it.

"Wow, if this is just the guestroom I can't imagine the size of the master bedroom," Peeta commented. He took off his jacket and placed it on top of an armchair. My mind spun as I realized we were alone together with no friends and Guardsmen to look over our shoulder. I walked up to large window. We were finally alone together.

"I'm just so relieved that Eva really isn't missing," Peeta sighed as he joined me in front of large bay window overseeing Effie's backyard.

"I promise you that she is never going to touch you again," I said as Peeta wrapped his arms around me his chest pressed against my back.

"I'm really sorry for Haymitch scaring you like that," Peeta said as he mumbled in my ear. His arms tightened around me as he lay his chin on my shoulder. "It was cruel and mean for him to do that." I sighed and sank into his chest closer reveling at our closeness.

I placed my arms on top of his wondering why I denied this kind of closeness and affection from Peeta. I could never imagine living without his hugs and kisses.

"I was really scared when he told me you were missing and that Eva escaped," I confessed. "I automatically thought she abducted you again."

"But she didn't and I'm safe with you in my arms," he said as he placed a kissed on the crook of my neck. I tilted my head and moaned in pleasure. His hand snuck underneath my dress cupping my breast. I groaned when his talented fingers tweaked my hard nipple. His other hand reached below the hem of my dress as he pressed me closer to him and massaged my stomach while he grinded his hips on my lower back. "Katniss," he whispered as he licked the shell of my ear.

"Peeta," I moaned again in response.

"Katniss, you feel so good," he said.

"Oh, God, Peet. Did you lock the door?" I asked surprised that I was coherent enough to remember.

"Katniss," he repeated as his hand drifted underneath my panties cupping my sex. I chanted his name as I lifted a hand to grab the back of his head. _'Oh god, how did we get here so fast,_' my mind wondered. "Katniss," he said sliding a finger inside me. "You're so wet, baby." He bit my ear lobe. "Is this okay," I nodded my head. I couldn't formulate any words from my mouth. I gasped in pleasure as he curled a finger and rubbed that spot inside me.

"Fuck," I whimpered from his assault, his fingers pinching my nipple, his teeth and tongue at the base of neck as he fucked me with his fingers.

"Not now maybe later," he said. "Right now, I want to make you come with my fingers so deep inside you. Then, I'm going to strip you naked and lick and bite you all over until I've tattooed every part of your skin with my mouth and tongue. I'm going to mark you so that everyone knows that you're mine." I sobbed with need as his length rubbed between my butt cheeks.

"Peeta…I want…bed," I choked.

"No, here. Right now," he growled. The vibration from his voice aroused me further. There was a certain tone that he used when we were only together; the voice that seduce me. It sent chills up my spine.

"I can't…my legs…gonna fall," I moaned as he continued to thrust his fingers inside me causing the strength on legs to weaken.

"I'll catch, baby. I'll always catch you," he spoke as my knees buckled. I tried to turn around so I could kiss him senseless. I wanted his mouth, his tongue probing mine. But he held on tight massaging my nipple while his other hand pleasured me. My dress rubbed against my skin. I wanted to feel him without the barrier between us. But his hands and mouth were persistent.

It's been two long days since he's touched me. Since watching him pleasure himself, I wanted to touch him hoping that Eva will not appear ruining an intimate moment. I wanted Peeta to see me and not her when we were together like this. Thank god that he still wanted me after visiting her.

"I want to hear you, Katniss. I dreamt of your voice, moaning and calling out to me. My name escaping your lips telling me that it's me loving you, making you scream. I need to hear your voice so I can drown the world from my mind." He thrust two fingers deep and hard causing me to lose control widening my legs to give him better access. "You're soaking wet, I can't wait to lick your pussy."

"Peeta," I whimpered as my legs buckled and true to his word, he held me tight. "I'm so close––"

"I know, baby," Peeta said as he pressed his lips on my ear. "I can feel you…you smell so good…like sex, lavender and lust. God, I love how you feel––your pussy lips swallowing my fingers…the way you breath through your mouth." I reached back and grabbed his ass needing something to hold on to. I love how he can be so sweet and dirty at the same time.

"Oh shit I'm coming," I wheezed between breaths. His fingers continued to massage me as I came down from my high. "I want to feel that again," I said panting loud as I turned around and kissed him hard on his lips. I lost control of my lower body as I grind against him soaking my desire on his dark pants. He scooped both hands underneath my butt as I wrapped both legs around his hips.

"Again, Peeta." I shoved my tongue deeper into his mouth. He walked us to the front of the standing mirror. He was so strong holding me in his arms as we kissed, deep long kisses. I pulled away in protest needing to breath.

"Look at us, Katniss," Peeta said as he turned his head looking at our reflection through the mirror. My hair was tousled and my lips pink and swollen from his kisses. My dress was bunched around my waist with my legs wrapped around him. His face was buried underneath my chin. "You look for fucking sexy."

I smiled. I felt sexy. Dropping my legs from his waist, I kept my arms around his neck. "Just watch," Peeta said as he pulled my dress from the shoulders exposing my breasts into the cool air. He cupped both breasts with his hands while he licked my breastbone. He mumbled something as he swallowed my left nipple into his mouth. I arched my back while his left arm held me from behind. He mumbled again.

"Peeta? What are you saying?" I asked, my eyes closed concentrating on his lips and tongue that was wrapped around my pert nipple. Parts of me were getting jealous of my hard bud between his lips. His lips left my breast with a loud pop. I smiled as my hands rubbed the curls on his head. He looked so sexy with his eyes filled with love and lust.

"Happy Birthday to me," he sang so soft I thought I imagined it.

"Peeta, honey. It's not your birthday," I reminded him. God, I can't think. It really isn't his birthday. How did I miss it? I groaned and my mind went numb as he attacked my other breast lavishing its twin with the same attention.

'Nuh huh, it's my birthday every time when I get to undress you like a present," he said as he latched his mouth on the base of my neck licking and nipping my skin with his teeth. "Because that is what you are to me for every day I wake up and get to make love to you." I sobbed in joy while he plundered his tongue into my mouth. He kissed me until I forgot my name while his hands were busy pulling down my dress from my body.

When the dress hit the floor, Peeta gasped. "Oh my god, you're so fucking beautiful," he said with a dazed and lustful look in his eyes. I stood in front of him wearing only a dark orange thong with my heels on my feet. My necklace hung between my breasts. "I have to taste you."

Before I could protest, he pulled the thong down and parted my legs. Without so much of a warning, he latched his mouth on my pussy diving straight to my clit. He was rational enough to place a leg over his shoulder as he continued to suck the swollen bundle of flesh between his lips.

"Peeta," I screamed so loud that I'm certain that Effie heard me from the other side of the house. My other knee started to buckle from the onslaught of his tongue thrusting inside me. How I remained upright standing on one leg with my heels was beyond my comprehension. My mind and body focused on his mouth between my legs. The world vanished every time he touched me there with his mouth or fingers.

"Peeta, Peeta, Peeta," I chanted as I watched him on the mirror. Was that really me stark naked with Peeta between my legs? He was still clothed as he knelt before me, praising and sucking the life out of me. We looked hot, erotic and sexy like those Capitol porn videos that Haymitch denied he doesn't watch.

"Oh, fuck," I screamed again as he added a finger with this tongue. "Oh, god…shit." My upright leg shook from pleasure. I couldn't feel my feet let alone my toes. I looked down between my legs watching Peeta with his eyes on mine while he pleasured me with his tongue. _'Fuck, fuck me.'_ I chanted in my head. I could have never imagined this kind of intimacy unless it was my Boy with the Bread. He moaned with his lips wrapped around my clit sending vibrations to the base of my spine.

"Fuck, fuck." I almost stumbled so he removed his hand from my nipple, ducked his arm between my legs underneath me and wrapped his arm over my leg to anchor me to his mouth. He smiled at my reaction and did it again while he thrust another finger inside curling them finding that spot that sent a spark from my pussy to my chest. "Yes, right there." I closed my eyes.

He was trying to kill me as his tongue licked and sucked my clit. "I'm gonna…oh god, please Peeta––" I kept thrusting and grinding my hips on his face.

When I thought I was about to experience the mother-of-all orgasm, he slowed his ministrations. I whined in disappointment. "Make me cum, damnit." I screamed in frustration as I pushed his head into my center. He rebuilt my orgasm by sucking the swollen flesh between his teeth. His fingers curled and rubbed on that delicious spot. I held onto his shoulders digging my nails into his shirt. I hope I didn't leave any bruises on his delicate skin. But the idea of marking him excited me.

"God, you taste delicious," he said between licks while he busied his fingers inside me. "I got you, Katniss. You can let go. You look so beautiful when you cum. I want to see you break apart with my fingers inside you. I'm going to fuck you with my tongue until you cum." He then thrust two fingers on that spot and sucked on my clit so hard I screamed.

"Peeta, Pee…ta…" I chanted again as my orgasm drained the strength from my leg causing me to bend over him. Peeta leaned back to prevent me from falling backwards as my leg trembled.

My other leg still hung over his shoulder. I felt weightless in his arms. Panting deep and loud, I struggled to breath and reconnect with reality. I could smell my desire that leaked between my legs. My center pulsed as his fingers continued to massage me. I thought I blacked out but I wasn't certain as I opened my eyes to look straight into the most beautiful blue eyes I have ever seen. His eyes twinkled with mischief and pride.

'_Hi,'_ I mouthed and smiled at him since I couldn't get my vocal cords to work.

"Hi, Katniss," he said with a big smile on his face as my desire coated his lower chin. He raised his hands to his mouth and licked his fingers. He moaned and closed his eyes. I reached down and kissed him biting his lower lip. He groaned again and opened his eyes.  
"Can I tell you a secret?" I nodded to him. He whispered in my ear. My eyes grew wide at his confession.

He placed my legs back on the ground and kissed my pussy one last time. My body ached and missed his touch wanting to feel him again. Then he stood up and kissed me slow and sweet like our first kiss. I was too happy and speechless to respond with words so I wrapped my arms around his neck and returned his kisses. My legs felt weak that Peeta had to wrap his arms around my waist half carrying me. I pouted when my aching nipples connected with his soft shirt.

"You're an angel sent from heaven above," he whispered as he released me from his embrace. His eyes raked my body from chest to my toes. There were a gleam of lust and desire in his eyes. I blushed in embarrassment wondering how he can see me as I'm covered with scars. My center pulsed with longing. He hands drifted back to my breasts cupping each mound.

"Happy Birthday to me," he sang to himself, daring me to laugh at him. "Happy Birthday, dear Peeta," he sang the words on my lips. I giggled. "Happy Birthday to me." My boyfriend is a romantic sap. "I don't want anything else in the world, but you." He added in a serious manner as he leaned down and bit my lower lips tugging it. His tongue followed soothing it between his lips. A gush of wetness pooled between my legs.

_How does one respond to that?_ I grabbed his belt buckle, dragged him towards the bed and pushed him down causing him to fall back. "My turn," I growled and pounced.

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_**AN: I hoped you enjoyed this chapter. More fluff in the next chapter since it's Katniss' turn. Hehe. Thanks for reading and have a glorious weekend. . **_


	39. Chapter 39 - My Love For You Is Real

Chapter 39 – My Love For You Is Real

_AN: Thanks to my reviewers [Trude, Ashley0520, LACR &amp; Guest] and for those you favored, and alerted my fic. Thank you, thank you. Please refrain from reading after Bron's POV, smut ahead if you're offended with two young adults enjoying themselves. Thank you for reading this chapter and sticking around. _

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**Haymitch POV ––**

The ride back to the train was quiet. I needed the time alone to gather my wits before I faced the others. It was difficult leaving Peeta and Katniss behind. But I was confident that Effie would take good care of them and keep them safe for the next few days. Katniss and Peeta deserved this time alone before reaching the Capitol. They had little privacy since leaving District 12 and when reaching the Capitol who knew when they would have the luxury. Their presence there would alert every media and news reporter to no end. Privacy was something the Capitol did not offer.

My face still ached from the punch Katniss gave me. Hell, I knew that I asked for it and probably deserved it but she didn't have to hit me so hard.

"That's my Girl on Fire," I mumbled to myself. She packed a wallop. I did scare her to death when she thought that Peeta was missing and that Eva might have him. I'll never forget the look of fear and anguish on her face. It will haunt me forever. I haven't seen that look of sheer terror and loss since our time in District 13. I hope that she'll forgive for the pain I caused her for I knew I wouldn't forgive myself. I remembered how Johanna and Delly reacted when I told them what I was going to do. Delly seethed with anger for not only was I hurting Katniss with my lie but I was also testing Bron, doubting his fidelity and loyalty. Johanna was quiet but spoke her opinion.

"_Haymitch, Katniss loves you like a father," she said with her arms crossed, her eyes simmered with anger. "But when you do this, the trust she had in you will be shattered. It'll take forever to get it back." _

I nodded my head in acknowledgement as I weighed the risks of what I could lose; Katniss' trust or Peeta's life. I thought I lost Peeta once so it was a no brainer what I chose. I could live with her distrust in me if it meant keeping Peeta alive. For now she's happy to have him with her but once I see her again, I know she'll let me have it. The punch in the eye was just a preview. I would expect no less from Peeta.

When the war ended I knew that keeping Katniss and Peeta safe was a lifetime job. I expected it. I didn't volunteer for it but wanted it. I owed them that much. To my surprise adding Delly, Johanna and Bron brought meaning to my life. I lived an empty life surviving and living for myself. Now, I have a family. Which brings me to Delly who I owe an apology if I am wrong about Bron. For her sake I hope I am. I walked into the living compartment to find Delly in tears and Johanna consoling her. Bron had a hand over his right eye. A purple bruise was forming.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked.

"Why don't you ask Bron?" Johanna roared in anger.

"Please let me explain," he implored. His eyes were red from tears and swollen. "Just let me explain––"

"Yes, please explain how you knew that it was Gale all this time. And you've been spying on us since you started dating Delly?" Johanna screamed "How could you––"

"It wasn't like that––"

"Then how was it, Bron?" I grabbed his shirt and backed him against a wall. "I knew I shouldn't have trusted you––" My instincts were right.

"Haymitch, let him go," Delly asked between sobs. "I want him to explain himself so that Johanna can kick his ass when he's done." I let him go and walked over to the girls.

"You have two minutes to explain yourself," I stated.

"For days I asked Delly to go out with me during my recovery," he started._ Really he's going to start with that? _I voiced in my head_. _"When she refused me one last time, I was really mad and ticked off. I mean, I never had anyone rejected me before––"

"Boo hoo, poor Bron got rejected––" Johanna sneered.

"Let him finish, Johanna," I said. "He's off to a great start."

"As I was saying," Bron continued. "When I got home I got a visit from First Guardsmen Hawthorne. He knew somehow that I was in the same ward as Delly so he asked me to seduce her while I spied for him, you know. I told him that I had been trying to ask you out for some time and had adamantly rejected me." He sighed and looked at Delly. "Hawthorne said that he wanted me to spy on Peeta since he knew that she was close to him. I refused at first since I didn't want to be rejected again. But Hawthorne was persistent. And I was still mad at the fact that you rejected me. So I didn't think it was a big deal if I was only spying on Peeta for him. I liked you a lot…I've never felt attracted to someone like this before and it really pissed me off that you didn't like me back."

Bron had a look of shame on his face. "If I did this for him, he promised me a commission in the Capitol. At the time, my family had just disowned me for my choice to leave the family business and join the rebellion. If I got the title and promotion I thought my family would recognize that I made something out of my career. That I wasn't just a grunt in the Guardsmen."

"So you've been spying for Gale all this time," Johanna accused him.

"No, please let me finish," Bron begged. "I started to fall in love with Delly––"

"Oh please don't give me that bullshit––"

"Just listen to me for a second," he interrupted Johanna. "I started to fall in love with Delly so I told Hawthorne that I wasn't going to spy for him anymore. I even threaten to reveal his activity but he said if I did he would tell Delly that I only dated her to spy on you guys. So I knew I was trapped. He said as if I don't say anything, he wouldn't expose me either."

"When did you stop spying for him," I asked.

"By the time, I moved to District 12," he answered. "Actually, Hawthorne was going assigning to District 8 but I blackmailed him telling him that I wanted to be with Delly so he better assign me to 12." He took a step forward. "I honestly didn't know it was him stalking Peeta. I mean, when he was abducted I only thought that Eva took him. I never thought it was Hawthorne who helped her."

"You expect us to believe all that?" Johanna snickered.

"I don't expect you to believe me but it's the truth." He looked at Delly. "Delly, I love you and I know that I should have said something––"

"You're damn right you should have said something," Johanna seethed in anger. "Do you realize that had you told us that Gale approached you, we could at least kept a tab on him. We would have sent someone to watch him…you telling us now when we trusted you to protect Peeta…I don't know if I can trust what you're saying now."

"How do we know you're telling the truth, Bron?" Delly asked. "All this time, you could have said something…in the beginning…before––"

"I was afraid that if I told you that I was spying on you in the beginning, I was gong to lose you," Bron confessed.

"Why now? Why say something now?" I inquired. Bron could have kept quiet but he exposed himself now.

"Because Peeta is missing and Eva has escaped," Bron answered. "Eva confirmed that her accomplice was Gale. And even if it meant ruining what happiness I have with Delly, I couldn't live with myself if something happened to Peeta. If only I had told you in the beginning maybe all of this wouldn't have happened. I'm sorry but please believe me that I want Gale to pay for what he did to him. If he helped her escape and they abducted Peeta again…I want to hunt them down––"

"No, you don't get to play hero," Johanna screamed at him. "If anyone is going to find Peeta it'll be his friends and family. Because let me tell you ass wipe, you're neither."

"I'm sorry. If I can turn back time and told you sooner, I would," Bron admitted. "I should have been upfront from the beginning."

"Yes, you should have because our whole relationship was based on a lie," Delly said, her voice cracked as tears fell from her eyes. "You went after me in the intent to hurt Peeta because you're ego was bruised."

"His wasn't just bruised, his manhood was rejected," Johanna added. "The moment you wanted out was the moment you should have confessed to Delly your involvement with Gale."

"I know, but I was scared of losing Delly––" he cried. I felt sorry for him. For I did believe that he loved her but with this confession, how does their relationship continue when it was based on a lie?

"I think that Delly and Bron need time alone to talk," I stated to Johanna. "This is a matter between the two of them." Delly was hurt while Bron looked scared. It was a conversation needed to fix or end their relationship.

"Are you sure you want to talk to him right now?" Johanna asked her. She shook her head.

"I don't but I have to. There is too much at stake right now," Delly answered.

"Just call me or get me if you need me to kick is ass," Johanna suggested. "Delly, don't let me weasel his way back into your life. He's a lying piece of shit and a fucking bastard for doing this to you." Delly sobbed. "I'm sorry I know you love him––"

"Please Johanna…I have to do this now," she sniffled and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Haymitch and I will be here if you need us," Johanna added. Delly and Bron left the room. I reached over to the liquor cabinet. "Do you think that's a good idea right now?"

"I need something because if I don't have a drink I'll likely go over there and beat the shit out of Bron," I confessed as I pour whiskey into a tall glass. My hand shook from anger and regret. "You want any?"

"No, I better not," Johanna said. "I want to be clear headed just in case Delly needs me. Thanks anyway." I gulped a mouthful from the glass wincing, as I haven't had whiskey in months. The liquor burned the inside of my mouth. "Nice shiner, old man. I guess Katniss didn't take your 'plan' very well?"

"She was mad as I expected but it was Peeta who was livid," I explained. "Katniss was just relieved that Peeta was safe and in the kitchen. He was pissed as hell. She had to calm him down actually."

"They love and protect each other fiercely, you should know that by now," she spoke as she looked at the door expecting Delly to walk through. "At lease they're together right now while everything else is falling apart."

"You mean Delly and Bron?" I asked. "They'll be okay. Bron will need to give Delly some time to get over his––"

"You really think that Delly can forgive him for this?" Johanna snickered. "She loves Bron I know that, but he started their relationship with a lie, how can they recover from that?"

"He may have started with a lie but I really believe that he loves her, really loves her," I admitted.

"Well, I'd kick him to the curb if I was her," Johanna commented. "Bron really hurt her."

"I know Johanna, I know," I sighed. So I was half right. My instincts told me to be weary of Bron but I never expected it to be true. He did spy for Gale but stopped when he fell in love with Delly.

"I don't know how I'm going to tell Peeta and Katniss when we see them at the Capitol," I said.

"It's going to hurt Peeta since he trusted Bron with Delly," Johanna intoned. "You know how protective he gets especially with the people he loves. We should really worry about how Katniss will react. When she finds out that he was involved with Gale, I don't know if it's safe to tell her."

"No more secrets, Johanna," I said as I winced. "Speaking of secrets, I need to tell you something." I cleared my throat. "The thing about Eva escaping––"

"Yeah, what are we going to do about that?" she asked. "You know that she's going to go after Peeta. And if she ever shows up with Katniss there, you know that Katniss will kill her."

"Johanna, the thing is that…um…she hasn't escaped," I added. "Dr. Aurelius and Kara transferred her to another facility in the Capitol––"

"What?"

"I said it so that our spy will report to Gale to confirm her missing and––"

"So you led us to believe that Eva escaped when in actuality she was being transferred," she screamed. "Damnit, Haymitch, Delly and I were scared to death for Peeta. We thought that she was out there looking for him."

"Keep your voice down," I said.

"Keep my voice down?" She mimicked me. "You're lucky that I haven't punched your other eye. How could you not tell me and Delly?"

"It was happening so fast I just didn't have the time," I sighed as I cradled the glass of whiskey in my hands. The thought of living through an alcoholic haze seemed like a great idea right now. This was one of the reasons why I didn't want to involve myself with other people. Living in world of denial was a lonely life but it was also drama free and less complicated. However, my new life had also given me love and family, two things I denied myself. They are worth the hurt, pain and suffering. And it's because of Peeta and Katniss. Their presence in my life brought me things I was too scared to want; family, friend, love and friendship.

"You really need to stop acting like a mentor and maneuvering our lives like a game," Johanna said. "We're your friends."

"I'm sorry, it's a hard habit to break," I admitted.

"You keep this up and you're going to lose whatever you value." She picked up the whiskey bottle.

"Hey," I yelped.

"I need this, old man," Johanna explained and took a large swig. "Trust is a rare thing to have with people like us. The only person I trusted was Finnick. And he's gone. Peeta is the only man I have ever trusted besides him. You were…You Haymitch came close second, but after tonight. You're just as bad as Katniss, reacting impulsively. We're all guilty of that, but this time you're hurting Katniss, Peeta, Delly and Bron without telling us what you were doing. Stop treating us like we a bunch of stupid kids who can't handle the hard stuff."

"I was trying to protect you from all the hurt and pain with Bron's secret and Gale's actions," I tried to explain.

"You can't shield us from the world, Haymitch," she retorted. "We suffered enough to know how the world works."

"I'm really sorry, Johanna," I said.

"What's done is done," she said as she shrugged her shoulders. "I just hope that Delly and Bron can fix what he broke. She really does love him." I nodded my head. Poor Delly. Poor Bron, for that matter. A relationship founded on shaky ground cannot survive during the hard times. At least, Katniss and Peeta survived her denial and his hijacking. Their relationship was tested by time and circumstances beyond their control. Yet, they too still have issues to confront. Gale being on top of the list. "Anyway, from now on I'm implementing a background check for every person that enters our lives."

"Yeah, you do that," she snickered. "Really goes to show that we cannot trust anyone anymore. It's sad really, but not unexpected." She shrugged her shoulders.

"So you'll be glad to know that Alec Baylor is in the clear," I announced. "I did a background check on him while I was at the Capitol. The kid is clean." I smiled at her, teasing. "You can ask him out for a date if you like. We need more guys in this family." She threw the nearest vase at me; flowers and water spilled all over shirt and pants. She, like Katniss never missed when angry. At least some things never change.

* * *

**Bron POV ––**

I'll never forget the look on Delly's face when I finally told her the truth; the secret that I had kept from her. A secret I kept from everyone, especially Peeta. I had thought that as long as ignored Gale and my involvement, I was free from revealing the real reason why persisted in courting Delly.

Sweet innocent Delly who I loved more than anyone in the world. It was true that I did fall in love with her and had separated myself from Gale and his machinations. I just didn't realize the depth of his obsession and hatred towards Peeta Mellark. When I first discovered that he was being harassed I chalked it up to an obsessive fan. Albeit, a psychotic one but just a fan nonetheless. Gale never entered my mind as his stalker. So when he was abducted and Peeta revealed that Eva had an accomplice, the furthest thing in my mind was to connect Gale with Eva.

Now I must suffer for my folly and take responsibility and blame for what happened to Peeta. Delly walked straight to a window and looked out the frame. It was dark outside. The night was eerie and black as her face reflected on the window. Her face was still, no emotions or indication of her feelings. When Delly was upset or angry, she would scream and yell at an inhumane decibel. I loved her nonetheless. Her high pitch voice squealed and squeaked at both in excitement and anger. I knew she was angry but this was new. It frightened me.

"Delly, talk to me," I begged her.

"What do you want me to say Bron?" she recounted; her voice was sad, soft and resigned.

"Anything, say something. Yell at me, scream just do something."

She turned around, her arms wrapped around her waist. "Yelling at you won't accomplish anything," she muttered. "It won't make me feel any less used and betrayed."

"I'm sorry, Delly––"

"You said that already."

"What do you want me to do to make this better?" Her calm demeanor I had not expected. I was prepared to hear her scream, slap me anything but this quiet manner. Like she didn't care anymore.

"There is nothing you can do to make this better. You not only hurt me but Peeta as well." Peeta. Her first crush and love since she was a child. It was hard to compete with that let alone be his friend. Her Best Friend.

"No, don't say that. I know I fucked up." She scoffed. "But please tell me what to do? Tell me we can fix this?"

"You will fix this, you will tell Peeta when they find him," she stated. "That is how you will fix this."

"No, I meant how can I fix us?" I asked. My throat burned from anguish and fear. I love her so much that I would do anything to fix what I broke between us.

"You lied to me." Tears formed in her blue eyes. Her cheeks were red, lips puffy.

"I know." I bowed my head in shame.

"You dated me, asked me out in exchange for a…promotion."

"I did at first."

"I didn't want to go out with you," she reminded me. "But Peeta convinced me to give you a chance because he said you were a good guy. A guy worth knowing, a guy worth falling in love with."

"I know."

"I fell in love with you because I believed you were good," she cried. "I can't believe how wrong I was about you."

"Delly, please––" I took a step forward.

"No, stay away from me. I can't bear you to touch me," she sobbed. "I let you in my heart, in my bed. I'm wearing your ring. I wanted a future with you and it's all been a lie."

"It isn't, Delly," I shouted. "I know that I lied in the beginning and I should have told you the truth about Gale, but falling in love with you. That wasn't a lie. I do love you…so much."

"I don't believe you," she screamed back. Everything was falling apart. Peeta is missing, Eva has escaped and I broke Delly's heart. I wanted to find Gale and kill him with my bare hands. But in hindsight, spying for Gale lead me to Delly. With my deceit I found love. I knew that I had to reveal my deceit if my life with Delly was to survive. We told each other no secrets. I would have gone to the grave with this secret, but as time passed, truth and honesty was critical with this group. Any strong and loving relationship will last if weighted by honesty, fidelity and faith.

"I love you."

"Stop saying that."

"I love you," I repeated.

"And you lied to me," she bellowed. "All this could have been avoided had you been man enough to tell us about Gale from the beginning. Do you understand, Bron?"

"You don't know that?"

"All I know is that the man who I thought was decent and honest, was actually a lying bastard and a coward," she sneered.

"I'm sorry, Delly." Her remarks stung. But there was truth in them because I was afraid to tell her when I should have. The only thing on my mind was that I didn't want to lose her. Now I was in too deep. I don't know how I could live without her. "Please tell me what I have to do? Tell me how I can fix us? I love you, please forgive me."

Delly played with her ring on her hand, twisting and twirling it around her little finger. She wiped the remnants of tears on her eyes with the back of her hand. She held my heart and my future in her hands.

* * *

**Peeta POV ––**

I closed my eyes as I landed backwards on the bed. Katniss straddled my legs and grabbed both my hands above my head. For a second I thought I saw Eva. _'Not real, not real,' _I chanted in my head. My body was tense. In my mind I knew it was Katniss but the quick movement startled me causing to flash back to _that_ time.

"Peeta?" Katniss spoke in a soft voice. "Peeta, open your eyes." I shook my head afraid that Eva held me down. I'm paralyzed with fear, "Peeta, baby, it's me Katniss." The weight on my lap lifted as I continued to chant to myself. "I'm sorry, Peeta," the voice sobbed. I opened my eyes to find Katniss, my beautiful naked Katniss crying as she knelt between my legs. "I'm sorry."

I sat up on my elbows breathing hard. "I'm sorry, Katniss. I'm so messed up. I thought for a second that you were…"

"No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have attacked you like that," she cried. I sat up extending my arms. She moved, hesitant at first then wrapped her arms around me as I placed her on my lap. "I didn't know what I was thinking. That was so stupid of me––"

"You were enjoying yourself and I ruined it for us," I said in disgust as I hid my head between her shoulders and neck feeling ashamed.

"I should have been gentle with you…or at least asked if you wanted me to touch you. It's my fault that I ruined this."

"No," I burst, my voice loud and clear as I lifted my head and started into her eyes. "It's me who's at fault. I can't even…the girls of my dreams is naked and wants to make love to me and I can't…" I held her close as she grasped both arms around my waist tighter laying her head on my shoulder. "I don't know how you can want me like this. I'm scared that I might hurt you while we're together."

"You won't, Peeta. You've been so gentle and wonderful," she complimented me. "I never thought I would ever feel like this for anyone and because it's you, I want it so badly."

"I want you too but I'm scared," I admitted.

"What are you scared of," she asked.

"That while I'm making love to you I'll have a flashback…what if I hurt you when I think or imagine that it's Eva hurting me again," I confessed. "I've dreamt of making love to you for so long and now that we…I can't even get her out of my head. I'm so fucked up."

"Peeta, in all the times, we've been together has she ever…flashed in your mind when you're making love to me?"

"No, never," I stated. She was playing with the buttons on my shirt. Here she was naked and exposed having just pleasured her moments ago and I flinched the first moment she made a move. It was embarrassing. "It has always been you and only you."

"Okay, how about we take it slow and at your pace," she said as she cupped my face with her hands. I nodded my head.

"I'm so sorry that you…that I'm a disappointment––"

"Hey, you stop talking like that. You're not a disappointment. You're everything I never dreamed of having for a boyfriend," she said. "Oh god, Peeta, what you can do to my body with just your fingers and mouth…I want more, but I want to be able to do the same for you. I want to return the favor."

"I want that too."

We held each other for a few minutes, relishing in the closeness and bond between us.

"Peeta?"

"Yes, my love," I uttered, the words formed from my mouth with ease. She was my love, the love of my life. She sighed and smiled at me with joy.

"Will you let me undress you?" I nodded my head since my throat decided to check out on me. "It's not fair that I'm naked and you still have your clothes on." She placed light kisses on my nose and cheek. "You're so beautiful. I look at you and wonder how a boy like you can love me."

"You're easy to love," I mumbled.

"No, I'm not." She shook her head. "I'm stubborn, difficult and standoffish. You see things in me that I hid from the world. Only you and Prim knew the sides of me that I was afraid to feel. You loved me through my stubbornness, my denial and avoidance."

"And that is why I love you. But I also love the side of you that loves fiercely, devotedly and faithfully. You love people for their good and bad sides, Katniss. You don't get to pick and chose what to ignore."

"See, you know the right things to say. I'm horrible with words," she sounded.

"As long as they are true and heartfelt, you don't have to say a lot," I articulated. "Just mean what you say and that is all that matters."

"You know, you're my present too," she whispered in my ear. Her lips grazing my lobes sending shivers down my spine.

"I want to unwrap you like you unwrapped me." She pulled my shirt from my pants. "Will you let me do that?" One by one the buttons on my shirt were unclasped. Her fingers slid across my chest light and gentle. She then turned and straddled my waist wrapping her long legs around me. The moisture between her legs seeped through my pants. I reached in between our bodies cupping her breasts between my fingers. She hissed in pleasure as I licked on pert nipple swirling my tongue around her erect bud.

"There is no one in the world for me but you, Peeta," she said as she pulled the shirt off my arms. Her hands busied at my belt buckle. She gasped as my cock harden beneath her through my boxer shorts. "Is this okay?" I nodded my head in excitement. She was all I saw with her hair cascading down her shoulders and naked before me.

"Tell me, Peeta," she asked. "When you were alone in your bed thinking of me, what were you imagining" I leaned down to kiss her but she stopped me. She settled between my legs dislodging herself from my lap. I reached for her once more.

"No, tell me what you fantasized in your bed when you were all alone," she demanded as she grabbed my hands. "Show me how you pleasured yourself when you thought of me gripping your cock in my hands." I gasped in surprise as she sucked my finger into her mouth. She wanted to me show her how I masturbated while I was thinking of her. "Take off you pants." I removed my pants scooting backwards as I leaned against my headboard. I wore a pair of black boxer shorts. A pair she bought for me back at District 12.

Katniss had a feral and lustful gleam in her eyes as she watched me grew hard underneath my shorts. "Can I touch you Peeta?' I nodded my head. "Are you sure? Because I'm dying to touch your cock, it's so smooth and big. I can't wait to have you inside me. It's all I think about sometimes."

"Me too," I admitted. "I've dreamt of making love to you since I was…"

"What? How old were you when you started to have dirty thoughts of me?" she teased. "Every time you touch me all I can think about is you making love to me." She straddled my legs as leaned over to kiss me.

"Since I was 12…when I realized what making love meant." I kissed her back placing a hand to her cheek.

"That's a long time." Katniss then settled back between my legs. "Can I see you?" I nodded as she place her hands on both sides of my shorts and pulled them down. I hissed as my erect cock was exposed to the cool evening air. Katniss was about to unstrap my leg when I grabbed her hand.

"Don't! Just leave it on," I said, my breath hitched with fear. "She…she took it off when I was tied to the bed so I couldn't get away." I sobbed in memory of that night. "She…tied my hands together on the bedpost and my leg…I felt helpless and humiliated."

"Hey, I'm sorry," she kissed me to sooth my fears. "I wanted it off because I thought you felt uncomfortable, okay? I'm not gong to do anything you don't want to."

"Okay," I sighed in relief. She wiped the tears from my cheeks.

"I love you Peeta," she said. "We don't have to go any further if you're not ready."

I looked into her eyes then looked down into my cock. My mind said no but my body reacted otherwise. I've dreamt and longed for her for so long.

"I want to, Katniss. So badly," I admitted. "I want you but I'm not ready to…"

"It's okay, we'll go at your pace," she smiled at me. Her eyes were soft with love and understanding. "It's just that…you're so beautiful right now all naked and hard for me." She dislodged herself from my lap and settled between my legs, spreading my legs wide before her.

"I've never done this before," she confessed, embarrassed but determined. "I don't want to hurt you…or disappoint you."

"You could never disappointment me. We'll learn together, okay?" I took her hand, licked her palm and placed it on my cock. She giggled at first touch. I smiled back.

"Is this okay?" she asked as she rubbed it up and down in slow strokes. Her small hands wrapped around me were a dream come true. "You're skin is so soft…" At one point she tugged to hard and for a moment Eva flash in my eyes. I almost pulled back in response but Katniss' voice vanquished her image. She was careful and slow driving me insane with need. My back arched in pleasure as her other hand grabbed the top of my penis while the other continued its strokes. "I want to see you cum for me, Peeta. You made me cum so many times. Now, it's my turn to watch you."

"Oh god, Katniss…I'm going to…" I grabbed onto the sheets below me, my fingers curled into the bedding. I arched my back and my legs spread wide open with Katniss between them. "Please don't stop."

"Let go Peeta, and I'll be there to catch you," her voice permeated the air as I closed my eyes in ecstasy. "Open you eyes Peeta and watch me." I opened my eyes in a daze as she reached between her legs and swiped moisture from her center. I hissed in pleasure as she wrapped her hands around my cock. "One day soon, when you're ready, we're going to have our first time together."

"But––" The reality was that my first time was taken from me by a woman I didn't love. I was ready to die not knowing a woman's touch, Katniss' touch. Eva took that away from me. It was violent experience. One that will haunt me forever.

"No, you're first time will be with me and only me," she expressed. "What she did to you was sick and perverse. I want to help wipe that memory from you mind…because in your heart, I will be your first. Me, alone and no one else can take that memory away from us." I acknowledged her determination even if it wasn't true. "You're my first and last, just as I will be your first and last, Peeta."

"I love you Katniss," I sobbed in pleasure as she continued to stroke my length in her hands. Soft and hard, up and down. The strength in my arms weaken causing me to fall onto the bed. "Katniss, Katniss…"

"You feel so good Peeta," she said in awe. "I can't wait to have your cock inside me. I get wet thinking about it…imagining how you would feel. Do you think about it? Do you imagine sliding inside me so deep and hard that I'm screaming your name as you cum inside me?"

"Yes, yes." My hips lifted off the bed. "Oh god…yes." I came hard and fast dripping all over Katniss. I slumped on the bed taking deep breaths. She continued to rub me soft and slow as I leaked all over her hands and legs.

"That was…wow," she stated.

"Katniss, I can't feel my legs," I giggled with a big smile on my face. She looked worried.

"Did I do okay?" Her brow was furrowed like as if she had done something wrong.

_Did she...?_ I reached over and grabbed her by the shoulders. "Are you kidding me? You were magnificent," I said as I kissed her face, lips and eyes. She gasped in surprise as I hovered over her body, forehead to forehead as I settled between her legs. I was hard again pressing my need onto her belly. I held her hands beside her head trapping her beneath me. "Do you feel me, Katniss? Can you feel I hard I get when you touch me?" I thrust my hips up and down rubbing my straining cock between her pussy lips.

"Feeling you like this…is more than I imagined," I spoke, my mind spiraling from need and longing. "Wrap your legs around my waist." Her legs shook in anticipation. I pressed my body downward trapping her, causing her to stay still. She crossed her ankle on the small of my back. "You feel so good, baby." My mouth invaded hers, stifling her moans.

"I need to touch you Peeta," she gasped. "Please let me touch you." Once I released her hands she grabbed both my butt cheeks. I gasped in shock as her nails dug into my skin. I growled. She giggled. My Katniss who scowled when she's upset and hid when she's scared, giggled. I saw no one but her as beautiful dark hair fanned her head. Katniss Everdeen, the girl from District 12 is in my bed, underneath me. She will forever be the girl who stole my heart at the age of five. She was Cinna's Girl on Fire and Haymitch's MockingJay, but to me she will always be just Katniss Everdeen, the hunter and sister of Primrose Everdeen.

"You think that's funny?" I grind my pelvis into her center. She gasped in pleasure. I moved down her chest kissing and licking the curve of her left breast before I swallowed her nipple in my greedy mouth. My hand reached down between her legs. She was soaking wet. I moaned as I sucked her spendings from my fingers. "You're so wet, baby."

"Peeta," she moaned. "I want…"

"What baby, what do you want?" I said between a mouthful of her left breast between my lips. My other hand tweaked her right nipple.

"It's still my turn," she whined.

"I'm a selfish bastard, Katniss," I spoke into her ear. "I want to see you cum again with my fingers and mouth. I want to see you scream my name."

"Oh, god, Peeta," she moaned. "You don't play fair." My tongue trailed between her belly button and to her center. "Open wide and let me in." She shifted her legs apart, her hands clutching tufts of my hair.

"Happy birthday…" She giggled. "You're the best present ever," I expressed as I wrapped my lips around her clit while I thrust a finger inside her. She arched her back, I moaned at the sight of her in bliss. Round Three. Everdeen 2 and Mellark 1. The night was far from over and I wasn't done.

The next morning, I woke up on my stomach. I extended my hand to reach out to my gorgeous and insatiable girlfriend. My hand fell upon the empty space besides me. I couldn't tell what time it was. The clock beside the bed landed somewhere on the floor. A casualty to our vigorous romp around the bed as we wrestled with each other. My favorite was Katniss on her back with my mouth latched onto her center as she squealed in pleasure. I lost count after her fifth orgasm. With a smug look on my face, she fell asleep her body tucked into my side.

"Katniss?" I called out to her. I was greeted back with silence. The sun was high above the sky. The sunrays shined through the gauzy curtains. "Katniss."

My left wrist felt sore and bruised. The wristband rubbed against my skin. I reached down to find my fake leg missing. Naked and alone, I sat up looking for my dress shirt when said shirt walked through the door carrying a tray. I gasped in horror and fear as Eva dressed in my shirt covered in blood. She walked towards me. "How did you…you're not real."

"Hello, lover. Did you miss me?" she leered at my naked body.

"Where's Katniss?" I asked, fearing her response.

"She'll never part us again," she chided. "You're mine Peeta. You belong to me."

I closed my eyes and chanted, "Not real, not real."

"Peeta, wake up." Katniss' voice broke through my nightmare. "Peeta, you're dreaming." I opened my eyes to see two beautiful gray eyes staring back at me. Katniss' eyes were brimmed with tears. Sitting beside me, she wore my shirt unbuttoned, her hair in disarray. "You were having a nightmare." Her medallion no longer nestled between her breasts. She took off between round 4 and 5.

I blinked my eyes several times, focusing on her eyes and rosy lips. "Katniss?" My eyes strayed to a breast peeking behind my shirt. Her pert nipple from the cool morning air pebbled thougt my shirt. She was naked with a blanket covering her lower body.

"I'm right there, Peeta." I reached over grabbed by the waist and encased her in my arms causing us to fall back on the mattress with her warm body covering mine. I shook in relief and anxiety. She squealed in surprise. "Peeta?" My morning wood trapped between us. Sex was the furthest thing in my mind but my body reacted to her soft skin. My mind raced as I panted through my nose inhaling the fragrance around us. We smelled like sex and sunshine. Despite my nightmare, it was a beautiful way to wake up to with Katniss in my bed after a night of ecstasy. We never reached the final step last night. I was not prepared for it. My fears and anxiety prevented me from taking that step. Also, I never envisioned making love to Katniss in Effie's home in District 1. My fantasy was romantic notion but I needed the level of comfort and ease when we finally slept together. I wanted to make love to her in our bed at District 12, our home.

Katniss braced her elbows on top of my chest. She looked down and kissed my lips with such tenderness that I almost burst into tears. Almost. I was too happy and relaxed with her body straddling mine as she grind her sex on my erect cock. "Don't tease me Peeta." She chanted that mantra all night. There wasn't a part of her that I tasted, touched and explored with my hands, fingers and tongue. I was relentless and determined to brand her as mine.

"Are you hungry?" I shook my head. "It's morning and I suspect that Effie is expecting us for breakfast."

"I'm not hungry," I stated. My hunger was a different kind that couldn't be satisfied by food. I was still reeling from a nightmare and her presence soothed me. "I'm dreamt that I was alone…Eva found me." I trembled at the mere mention of her name.

"Shh, she's not here Peeta," she comforted me. "She's locked up far away from here never to hurt you again." She brushed her hand on the side of my face. "I will never let her hurt you again." She kissed me again with a hunger that matched my own. "Peeta," she whispered into my mouth. "I want to take a shower."

I looked at her face. "Okay," I sat up kissing her senseless. "Let's take a shower."

With her hand in mine, we walked naked into a large spacious bathroom. The tub was huge, room enough to fit four. The shower itself was a size of closet with rainfall showerhead above the ceiling. On the counter were two white fluffy towels, bathrobes and assortment of body soaps and shampoos. Katniss walked straight towards the shower and turned on the showerhead. I stared at her as the water cascaded on her hair and body. She was a vision that I would immortalize on paper. The sight of her mesmerized me. "Peeta are you going to join me or stare at me all morning?"

Moments later, I'm shampooing her hair and washing her body. We took turns cleansing each other from last nights activities. She was soft and supple underneath my hands as I soaped every inch of skin. Taking my time washing her breasts and ass. I needed another dose of Katniss saturating my skin. I restrained myself from taking her in the shower opting to pleasure her in our bed. Visions and fantasies coalesced in my mind of this moment. I had dreamt of it since I was 12, naked Katniss Everdeen after sharing a night together. The shower was sensual, intimate and comforting. I wanted her again. I hoped to start our day like that when we returned to District 12. I turned off the shower. Just as I was about to reach over to grab a towel, she grabbed my cock with both hands. "Shit," I yelled in surprised.

"Where do you think you're going?" she asked with a shy smile on her face. "I think I owe you a couple of orgasms. Don't you think?" I was too stunned and turned on to reply as her hands squeezed and rubbed my cock to hardness.

"Ka. .ple...do..op," I stumbled with my words. After last night, she was adept to pleasuring me with her hands. She was a quick study. My legs felt weak and rubbery.

"What was the count…Everdeen 6, Mellark 2," she recounted. "I don't like that. You're far too generous, making me look selfish." I shook my head, disagreeing with her. "Yes, this is partnership, Peeta." She pushed me back against the wall as she stood between my legs. I grabbed on to her shoulders preventing me from falling onto my knees. My prosthetic leg shook as I thrust my hips in tandem to her ministrations.

"One day Peeta you're going to let me taste you there. I want it so bad." _Shit, I want that too, but was I ready?_ Will I look down to see Eva violating me instead? "I want to know what you taste like. How you feel with my mouth around you, lick you until you cum so hard that I'll finally get to know what you taste like. I can't wait Peeta. Don't make me wait to long."

Eva? Who's Eva? "Yes," I yelled. "Please Katniss, suck my cock."

"Well, since you asked so politely," she spoke as she disappeared from my line of sight. I looked down to see her kneeling between my legs. "Are you sure, baby?" Argh, I couldn't speak so I nodded my head and waited…

"Fuck," I screamed at the touch of her tongue licking the tip of my penis.

"Hm…you taste really good, Peeta," she started. "Let me know if I'm hurting you." She looked up at me her gray eyes twinkled as she wrapped her lips around my length. "Is this okay?" she asked as she licked me tip to root. I placed a hand on her head, gentle so not to startle her. I nodded my head. I dreamt of this. The reality didn't compare to my fantasies. She continued to suck, nip and lick my cock with different pressure and speed. I denied myself of this in fear of _her_ invading my mind when I should have known that Katniss would vanquish her presence. I'm addicted.

"Katniss," I chanted over and over. My back ached as she deep throated my length into her mouth. "Fuck." I was careful not to choke her. My ball felt tight and hard ready to burst. She pulled back unaccustomed to the experience, my cock in her throat.

"Yes, Peeta," she smiled and held onto my cock, rubbing hard and slow. "It's me, Katniss. Scream my name, so you'll forget her…no one will ever see you like this but me." I was mesmerized by her lips and tongue as she held me by the root. "This is going to feel so good inside me. I can't wait..."

"Don't stop, Katniss." I lost all time and space as the threat of the hardest orgasm built between my legs. My limbs felt numb; I couldn't feel the cold tile against my ass. "Fuck!" The world spun as I closed my eyes. Every nerve and muscle tingled starting from my hip to my limbs. I thought I saw stars behind my eyelids. Wet cool arms wrapped around my waist. I sighed and breathe deep through my nose in contentment. Soft lips pressed against mine as I smiled in recognition. Katniss leaned her body into mine, forehead to forehead and groin to groin. My body quivered in response as she pressed her center into my flaccid cock.

"That was the hottest thing I've ever seen," I laughed wrapping my arms around her. She pouted so I kissed her lips. "Why are you laughing?"

"I'm not laughing at you," I said hoping to appease her. "I'm fucking speechless right now. I came so hard I'm kinda giddy…"

"Oh, then that's okay then," she stated in her Katniss manner. "Because watching you cum was really sexy and hot."

"And you say you're not good with words," I complimented her remark. She blushed in return.

"You make it easy when I'm with you," she commented.

"Well, I'm gobsmacked. There are no words for me to...I'm stunned," I muttered.

For a few minutes we held each other until she shivered from the cool morning air. I picked her up around the waist. She yelped in surprise. Katniss held onto my neck and straddled my waist as I carried her back to bed.

"Peeta, we're going to get the bed all wet," she protested. Ignoring her remark, I threw her on the bed, trapped her arms around her head and settled between her legs. She stopped her protest as soon as skin touched skin.

"I'm having breakfast in bed," I announced as I trailed my tongue down the middle of her chest to her belly button. She moaned as she pushed my head toward her center. "It's my turn unless you have any objections,' I said as I widen her legs and licked her clit for emphasis. She shook her head.

Katniss 0, Peeta 1, I think the odds are in her favor this morning since I was determined to stay in bed all day. Or at least until lunchtime. We do have to eat to fortify our strength for the next few days.

Whatever time I have left with Katniss before reaching the Capitol, I'm going to take advantage of the privacy and solitude given to us. Outside this room, the world awaited and stood against us; Gale, Eva, my treatment and our return to the Capitol. During the arenas it was Katniss and I against the Capitol. Now I am armed and supported with my family and friends who protected and loved us. We were no longer alone. I looked forward to a future with Katniss with my new family by our side. Little did I realize that other lives were being tested and divided. I have faith that we will survive whatever problems thrown at us. This is the life I fought for and having Katniss in my future was my endgame.

* * *

_**AN: I had meant to upload this chapter last Tuesday but was impeded by food poisoning. I was out for three days. I hope you enjoyed the chapter nonetheless because the next few chapters will have lots of drama for our couples and the rest of Peeta's company. Have a great weekend. **_

_**Spoiler Alert: couples therapy, catfight, a wedding and a funeral in the next few chapters up ahead. And not necessarily in that order. ;)**_


	40. Chapter 40 - The Calm

Chapter 40 – The Calm

_AN: Thanks to my reviewers and PM's [Trude, kamjam, LACR and Browniangel], they are truly welcome and appreciated. This chapter is dedicated to my inspiration, you know who you are, sweeties. All right and characters of the Hunger Games belongs to Suzanne Collins._

* * *

**Delly POV ––**

My stomach hurt and my head ached. For the past several days I've been cranky, nauseous and prickly. It didn't help that every time I saw food my stomach lurched. I love food. I wish Peeta were here so he can make Cheese Buns. I've been craving them for sometime. But here I am the Capitol and nothing seemed appetizing. I want Cheese Buns. Or maybe I miss Peeta.

I should have brought my dog with me. It's been weeks since I seen her. Oh, God who's going to keep the dog when we go home to District 12? How am I going to manage taking care of a baby and a dog? I hoped that Tamryn isn't overfeeding her. The last time I left my dog in her care, Tamryn fed her sugar cookies, which she threw up hours later. I think I'm going to vomit again. My hand covered my mouth in an attempt to stop myself from puking.

"How are you feeling?" Johanna asked as she appeared by the doorway. I must look a sight kneeling over a toilet bowl reeking from vomit. She had a look of worry on her placid face. Since arriving she had been my source of comfort and strength, never leaving my side unless necessary.

"Like I ripped my guts out," I choked from the bile that rose from my stomach. "I don't like you seeing me like this." I turned away and walked over to the sink. The splash of cold water on my face was soothing but temporary as my stomach grumbled and lurched again. I wanted to crawl back to bed and sleep for a week but my mind won't let me. A myriad of thoughts kept me from a peaceful slumber the night before. I tossed and turned in my lonely bed. The space besides me was cold reminding me of what I lost. I can admit that I miss him.

"I've seen worse, Delly," she said. "When are you going to see Kara?"

"This afternoon," I replied. "She was kind enough to come over instead of me going to the medical center. I don't want to alarm…"

"You haven't told him."

"How could I?" I sobbed as fresh tears threaten to escape from my eyes. I twisted the finger minus the engagement ring Bron gave me. I felt empty, sad and angry. I had broken our engagement with Bron the same night he confessed his secret. How could I not?

* * *

**_Flashback ––_**

_We stood inside Johanna and my sleeping compartment just hours away from arriving at the Capitol. Our arrival Haymitch estimated would be around 2 in the morning. He scheduled it that way in a pretense that we were sneaking Peeta and Katniss in the Capitol, away from prying eyes, nosy fans and the ever-present media. Bron looked forward to coming back; hoping to announce our engagement to his family. He was reluctant but thought it would appease and bridge the gap between them. His sense of optimism I didn't share since I remembered the first time he introduced me to them. They weren't hostile but cool, standoffish and reserve in my presence. My nervousness vanished. My odds of meeting them again looked bleak. I should be relieved but I'm not. My throat tightened as I tried to form sentences that circulated in my mind. Betrayed, used, lies and secret, four simples words formed in my head. I'm not as eloquent as Peeta, but I say what I mean and mean what I say._

"_Delly––"_

"_No, I have to say this or else I won't be able to," I sobbed. "I've been in love with Peeta for most of my life." Bron flinched. He knew that._

"_What does that have to do––"_

"_Shut the fuck up and listen to me," I yelled. Bron looked at me in surprise and amusement. I never cursed unless I'm stressed or in the state of… _

_Anyway, I continued, 'I knew I had a crush on him since we were 8 years old. While boys at that age ran from girls screaming 'cooties and girls are yucky,' he was different. He didn't scream when you held his hand or shy away from hugs and kisses. I guess you take what you can get when love and affection were missing in your own home. I told you about his witch of a mother." He nodded his head. _

"_It wasn't until we were 12 that I realized that I loved him. It was the first year of our reaping age and I thought how could I live without him in my life if he got reaped? But by then, he so enamored with Katniss that I never stood a chance. I did everything I could to make him fall in love with me. It was embarrassing and humiliating. Peeta and I laugh about it now because well…I had you and he has Katniss. But through it all he was gentle, understanding and honest about how he felt about her. I loved him for it. It just made me realize that I would never love anyone the way I loved him. He was my Katniss. The only difference was that we were friends and he loved her from afar with no chance of being with her. Our class division made sure of that. Then he got reaped and well you know how that story goes." _

_I removed the ring from my finger. Bron eyed the ring with trepidation. "When you first started to ask me out I was flattered. I mean a boy from the Capitol was interested in me. You were everything I didn't expect, handsome, strong and sweet." He scoffed. Why is it that men cannot be complimented as sweet? I ignored him and pressed on. I was trying to make a point. _

"_As I was saying," I sneered at him. "I was determined to have Peeta since Katniss abandoned him. She pretty much displayed her disdain and disappointment of him when he was rescued from the Capitol. She flaunted her relationship with Gale while we were in District 13. And with Peeta hijacked, I thought this was my chance. There was a possibility that he would never recover his memories, but not just memories but his devotion and love for Katniss. But the doctors overestimated his feelings for her. As you can guess, as months passed he started to regain his memories. My Peeta was healing and coming back. I was happy for him but I knew that recovering his memories also meant he was recovering his feelings for Katniss. She may be the MockingJay and people loved her but I only saw a self righteous and insecure bitch that took advantage of him. But even with the hijacking and the venom in his blood, he still loved her. He wouldn't admit it, but she was so ingrained in his heart that I knew that I couldn't compete with that. I was heartbroken all over again. So I took a page from his book, he was willing to be friends with Katniss even with the underlying truth that he was always going to love her no matter what. I loved Peeta enough to let him go just as he was willing to let Katniss go. That's love Bron."_

"_I love you Delly," he implored. "We may have not had the love story like Katniss and Peeta but we did fall in love. What we have is real."_

"_No, the foundation to our relationship was based on a lie." I reminded him. "And the irony of it was that it was Peeta––"_

"_Damnit Delly, stop comparing him to me," he shouted._

"_I'm not comparing I'm stating a fact," I yelled back. "It was Peeta who convinced me to give you a chance because he thought you were a good person, someone worth knowing, someone worth loving. I wasn't ready to move on from him but he said to me that love is something you don't get to pick and choose; you love you who you love. I was chasing a dream." I broke down in tears. "I fell for you not because of his sage advice but because I saw something in you that I never thought I could find again, but none of it was real. You're not who I thought you were."_

"_No Delly, I may have had an ulterior motive in dating you at first," he explained. "But I ended it with Gale because I truly fell in love with you too."_

"_Then, you should had been honest with me," I screamed. "I would have listened, got angry and maybe forgiven you––" I couldn't continue, it hurt too much with the maybes and what ifs. Maybe I would have forgiven him or maybe not. What if he did tell me? Would we be here at this moment with the knowledge of Gales' sick obsession with Peeta, preventing his abduction and assault? So many what ifs. It was a pointless to speculate._

"_I'm so sorry, please Dell––"_

"_You kept this secret for months," I exploded. "It's only now that you revealed your secret because Gale and Eva were exposed. Would you have kept that from me, from Peeta?"_

"_Yes, no. I don't know," he admitted._

"_I know you lied to protect me. You didn't want to hurt me but you did," I sobbed. "I can't help but feel used, Bron. You intended to spy for Gale. You were spying on someone who not only trusted you, but also called you his friend, a brother. And you knew from the beginning that Peeta hated secrets. Everyday for months you looked into his face and lied to him. To me and to everyone who trusted you."_

_Bron reached for me. I shook and trembled missing his strong comforting arms around me. But he no longer had the right to hold me. "You broke my trust and faith in you."_

"_Delly––"_

"_I love you, I love you so much," I admitted. "But you betrayed not only me but Peeta, Katniss, Johanna…everyone who trusted you. I can't believe that Haymitch––"_

"_What about Haymitch," he asked._

"_Haymitch suspected that you were involved somehow… I defended you," I cried. Now I felt foolish and humiliated for defending him. _

"_You're all wrong about me," he defended himself. "I made a mistake…"_

"_Doesn't matter, we're done, Bron," I said with finality. My voice cracked from pain. I took his hand and placed the ring into his palm. "I can never marry you now." He looked stunned and broken. I wanted to grab him and never let him go._

"_Please forgive me and give me second chance to make it up to you," he pleaded._

"_I can't," I sobbed. "Your secret not only hurt and betrayed me, but Peeta as well. And even if I did forgive you, I don't how where to start. I don't know if I can trust you."_

"_So what happens now?" he asked resigned and unhappy, staring at the ring between his fingertips. _

"_We go on like Haymitch planned," I stated. "When they find Peeta, you will have to deal with the consequences of your actions. Haymitch will decide whether you can stay to help us."_

"_No, I meant what about us?"_

"_There is no us, Bron. You made sure of that."_

_**End Flashback ––**_

* * *

"Delly, are you okay?" Johanna asked as she laid a hand on my arm. I was so lost in my thoughts that I never saw her approached me. "I've been talking to you to for past five minutes."

"Just lost in my head, Jo," I returned. I braced the sink with both my hands, my head down and my eyes closed.

"Just don't do anything right now," she advised. "Have your appointment with Kara then make a decision."

I turned around to face her, "I already made one." Abortion was not an option. I couldn't live with myself. I swayed between keeping it or not. Could I really give my child away or have Bron raise it? What kind of mother would I be? I had visions and dreams of dark hair little boy and girl with his eyes, running around me. The thought pained me. I held my head up and sighed. I cried enough tears for the past two days to last a lifetime. I focused on my child and the weeks ahead. At least I will be surrounded my family.

In a lighter note, hanging out with Katniss and Peeta's doubles has been amusing and fun. They weren't my best friends but they likeable and sweet together. Never mind the fact that they were newlyweds, I made certain that I didn't cross their suite at night. Boy, the noises that came out of their room were pretty loud and hot.

Newlyweds, I thought of Bron and burst into tears. I miss him. I forced myself from staring at my ring finger. I miss the love and sex too. After arriving at the Capitol, we avoided each other. Meals were awkward, pretending we were okay. The nights out with Kat and Peet were the most difficult since we had to keep up the pretense. I now realized how Peeta felt each time he was with Katniss. They pretended to be in love, albeit Peeta was in love and Katniss was indifferent. Bron and I pretended that we were still together and in love. Which was worse to be in love and pretend that it's mutual or be in love and not be together? Either way it was painful. It'll be a long time, if I ever find love again because I knew Bron as it for me. Too bad, we started off in a lie. How does one recover from that?

"How do you think Peeta and Katniss are doing?" I asked as I smiled thinking about them.

"Probably the same as Peet and Kat," she answered. "Getting all naked, kissy face and groiny." She sighed. I knew she missed sex since we talked about it. Johanna was too mentally damaged to interact with anyone physically. She was afraid that she would react badly during sex. I didn't blame her. Getting 'Snowed' left you physically incapacitated while your mind functioned seeing everything that happened to you while you lost all control of your body. The idea of being violated under the drug was horrifying. I couldn't fathom how Peeta and Johanna survived that abuse and violation.

We haven't heard a word since we left them at District 1. Peeta will be angry and hurt when he learns of Bron's secret. I barely could contain Johanna from hurting Bron in my behalf. Meanwhile, Haymitch was prepared to fire him and expose his involvement with Gale, but it meant disclosing all we knew about Gale to President Paylor. We haven't gathered enough physical proof to present to her. For now, it's just conjecture and accusations. Paylor couldn't fire him on pure speculation. Eva was unstable to be a credible witness. Catching Gale's spy only proved that he was spying on us.

Argh, my head hurt from thinking about it. What I am I going to tell Peeta and Katniss for that matter when I was the one who brought Bron into our lives? Sure, Peeta encouraged me but it was advice about taking chances to find love and not saying yes to the first guy who caught my attention. I was lonely and alone when I lost my family. Peeta was all I had. Both Johanna and he were hurt, abandoned and broken after the war. I had to be strong while I helped nurse them back to health. I didn't regret one moment of that. Now, I have a connection with a guy whose first intention was to hurt Peeta. Bron is the father of my child and he'll be in his or her life forever. Bron is a good guy, I could see him loving our child and being a great father. Do I love him enough to trust him again? I need to talk to Peeta. I wish he were here.

"I'm going to lie down," I announced. I left the bathroom and lay on my bed.

"Just let me know if you need anything, Delly," Johanna stated.

"Can you wake me up when Kara arrives?' I asked. She nodded her head and left my room. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths to alleviate my nausea. Alone in my spacious bed, I dreamt of my life with Bron and our child together. It's a dream now, one that will haunt me forever.

Hours later, Johanna shook me from my sleep. I was curled up in a ball clutching a pillow wishing it were Bron. That part of my life was over, I needed to get used to that. The thought brought tears to my eyes. "Hey, sorry to wake you but you slept through lunch and Kara is here to see you."

I was groggy from sleep and my body ached. "Can you send her in?"

"Sure, do you want me to stay with you?"

"No, I need to do this alone," I said.

"You don't have to," Johanna insisted. "Just remember that you're not alone, okay? We'll get through this together."

"I wish Peeta was here."

"Me too but he's not…so lean on us, okay?" I nodded my head and sat up. Minutes later, Kara walked through my door. I had brushed my teeth and combed my hair just as she walked into my room.

"Hey, Delly, how have you been?" Kara announced herself.

"Okay, under the circumstances," I returned as I shrugged my shoulders.

"You said over the phone that you haven't been feeling well?"

"I think I'm might be pregnant," I stumbled with my words. "And I haven't told Bron yet…and I can't tell him since he…"

"Hey, Haymitch filled me in a couple of day ago so I know already," she supplied.  
"But he didn't say why since it really isn't any of my business. So we don't' have to talk about it."

"Oh, then you know I broke off my engagement?" Kara nodded her head. "I'm sure I'm pregnant and I didn't want to alarm him just incase I'm not."

"Why don't we check to make sure you are or you not, okay?" She reached into her bag and handed me a pregnancy test kit. I should have noticed that she didn't carry her usual medical bag. Kara carried a simple purse. "You were adamant about not going to the clinic. So I assumed that you didn't want anyone to know why I'm really here?"

"Thank you," I uttered. "The only people I told are Johanna and Katniss. I didn't want any fuss incase I'm wrong."

"I'm sorry about your broken engagement," she added. "I hope that you'll work things out whether you're pregnant or not. But if you need to talk to someone, you can call me anytime."

"I can't think that far ahead," I admitted. "I can only deal with this right now." I looked at the box in my hand. "So what do I do? I've never done this before."

"It's simple, go to the restroom and pee on the stick," she instructed. "Then you wait for 3 minutes. On the stick is light blue and red box. The box turns bright blue if you're pregnant and bright red means you're not.'

"It's that simple?" Kara nodded her. Peeing on a stick, who knew how something that simple determined my fate? I was ready to get my blood tested or something more elaborate. I held the box with great trepidation. As a nurse working in the hospital dispensing medicine, caring for broken bones and internal injuries were my specialties. Blood, vomit and other bodily fluids didn't faze me. I got used to it. I never thought that a little piece of plastic would frighten me so much. I lost a fiancé but may be gaining a child. I will become a mother without being someone's wife. It wasn't fair that I couldn't be both.

"Go on," she said. "I know you're scared. Either way, you're going to be okay, Delly. Do you know why I know that? Because you have a lot of people in your life who love and care for you. Your baby will be loved by the best people out there." I thought of Johanna, Katniss, Effie, Haymitch and Peeta. The most broken and damaged people in Panem will love and protect my child as if she or he were their own. The thought made me smile.

I stood up and walked towards my bathroom. "And Delly?" Kara called out to me. "If you are pregnant, you're baby will have the best mom ever. You're going to be a great mom." I smiled back at her encouragement. I just wished that my baby's daddy was with me, but that was not option. I'll be raising him or her on my own. I better get used to that fact.

* * *

**Johanna POV ––**

I stared at a bottle of whiskey in front of me. The temptation to drink myself into oblivion was at the forefront of my mind. Anger, frustration and fear. Three emotions I'm familiar with. The latter was something I hated to feel. As a Victor, anger was my constant companion. It was easy to slip back to old habits and vices. Panem is reborn and a new world but the fear and dangers still existed. If it were not for my new family, I wouldn't know where I would be right now. They replaced my need for alcohol as my source of comfort and a need to disguise my fears as my anger fueled me. It would be easy to revert back to my old ways of coping but Delly needed me and I didn't want to disappoint her.

Things were going well for Bron and Delly, even Peeta and Katniss finally got their act together. Katniss finally got that stick out of her ass, and admitted her feelings for him. It was about time. Now, the our world was tipped on it's axis. Bron, Delly's fiancé was a spy for Gale. How could we have been wrong about him? He's lucky I love Delly because he would be dead by now. Poor Delly, pregnant and heartbroken. There was nothing I could do to ease her pain. If she truly were pregnant she would have contact with him for the rest of her life. Maybe she'll let me break his arm or something. I wish Peeta were here. He knew how to soothe my anger.

I smiled. I'm glad that Haymitch allowed Peeta and Katniss to have some time alone. The time they spent in District 4 benefited them. They seemed closer than ever and the time alone, they deserved it. I wasn't kidding when I told Delly that they were probably going at it like rabbits. Or at least I hope they are. If there were two people in Panem who deserved happiness, it was those two. Finding love with a Victor was rare, but two victors falling in love was a miracle. Just like Finnick O'Dair and Annie Cresta.

"Hey, Johanna have you seen Delly?" Haymitch asked as he walked into the living room. The residence we were occupying belonged to former Capitol residents / sponsors. We occupied an entire floor with four bedrooms, four baths and three living spaces and dining area. Peeta would love the kitchen space and appliances. I can see him making his famous Cheese Buns for Katniss. When he made them, he made sure to make extra since we all love them.

Our company of thirteen dwindled to eight. Haymitch had dismissed two of the Guardsmen leaving Bron and three guards. The night of Bron's confession revealed our spy or mole. Haymitch videotaped him making contact with Gale at District 2. He wouldn't reveal his identity since he knew that I was likely to beat the crap out of him. Haymitch decided to keep him in the detail so he could keep tabs on him. He wouldn't even tell Bron, as he was not privy to such information since we lost all trust and faith in him. It stung him but what else did he expect? Haymitch decided to keep Bron as well even though Delly broke off their engagement.

"_I'm letting him stay because I sincerely believe that he does care about Peeta," he said. "He's good at what he does and I know that he will protect Peeta. I'm going to let him decided what to do with Bron. It's a decision whether Peeta will give him a second chance. This affects him for than anyone, so it's really up to him."_

I could have made an argument that he didn't deserve a second chance. Bron betrayed him. It's a fact. Peeta shouldn't be the one to decide his fate. He shouldn't shoulder that responsibility. He should be gone period. Delly already made her choice by giving him back his ring. I wasn't surprised when she came ringless after her talk with Bron. It broke my heart to see her shattered by his duplicity. It was inevitable but expected.

"Um…she's talking to Kara," I answered.

"Is she okay?" he asked with a look of concern on his face. "I noticed that she's been pale and withdrawn these past few days."

"Can you blame her?" I retorted. I was sworn to secrecy of her possible pregnancy. She wanted Peeta and Katniss around and needed confirmation before she announced it. "She just found out that her fiancé kept a huge secret from her. Bron's betrayal really devastated her." And if by chance she isn't pregnant, then there's nothing to tell.

"I know," Haymitch sighed. "When I first suspected Bron, I was hoping that I was wrong about him. I didn't mean to hurt Delly. She didn't deserve this." I agreed with him but what else can we do but be there for her. And if she is pregnant, she will need us more than ever.

"We'll help her through this, Haymitch," I stated. "That's all we can do for now."

"So there isn't any other reason why Kara is speaking to her?" he asked again.

"It's personal and private," I responded. "Unless of course, you want to talk about female business with us. I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself." I smirked back at him.

"Please don't say anymore," he chortled. "I was curious that's all." He probably suspected but I wasn't about to divulge Delly's secret. It's her secret to tell.

"Where are the love birds?" he asked. He was referring to Peet and Kat.

"They're probably making out in the monitoring room," I informed him. Peet and Kat were nice people. They had kept to themselves and stayed in their suite. I found it amusing how people actually thought they were the real deal. News spread of their arrival a couple of days ago. The press and media have been camping out in the lobby waiting for them. This was the life Katniss and Peeta abhorred. Their privacy was nonexistent. Such was the life of a Victor but to be the Star Crossed Lovers of District 12. They were legendary and unforgettable. Everyone wanted a piece of them. Caesar Flickerman had been calling Effie for days hoping for an exclusive interview. It was a matter that needed to be addressed as soon as Peeta and Katniss arrived. Until then I hoped that they enjoy their alone time. "Have you heard from them lately?" He knew who I as referring to.

"We're in radio and video silence until they reach the Capitol," he explained. "It's best that we don't have any contact incase someone hacks the video and radio feeds." He took extra safety measures. At this point, Haymitch was paranoid with every move he made. His only contact with Peeta and Katniss were through Effie.

"Do you at least have any idea when they are arriving?" I asked. I miss Peeta and Katniss. I knew they were safe with Effie but Delly needed them. I didn't look forward to telling them about Bron. Peeta will worry over Delly and Katniss will want to kill him.

"They're scheduled to arrive late tomorrow evening," he answered. "We're staying in tonight. I can't keep up with charade. And I think both Peet and Kat are getting restless and want to resume their own lives."

"I don't blame them," I wondered. "I want to resume our own lives too." Haymitch nodded his head in agreement. Visiting District 7 and staying with Annie was great but I got accustomed to the life we led in District 12. When Peeta announced that he needed to go to the Capitol for his treatments, I couldn't stay behind wondering how everyone was faring. I just hope that nothing goes wrong during Peeta's treatments. "How long are we going to keep this up," I asked.

"Until Peeta's treatment are done and he's cleared to go home," he answered.

"That could take weeks."

"Dr. Aurelius predicts that if all goes well, Peeta would be in recovery for a week maybe three at the most," he stated. "Kat and Peet will stay with us until Peeta goes home. Then, they are free to leave." The ruse was to help in Peeta's recovery. Not a lot of people knew about his hijacking. Haymitch wanted to protect Peeta from the media, speculating about his visit in the hospital. And without Snow's influence we can avoid or ignore the media. Never again subjected to endless interviews to entertain the Capitolites. We finally had control in our lives.

"I'm afraid that I have to convince Peeta and Katniss to have a sit down interview with Flickerman," he admitted. "They're going to keep harassing them during their visit."

"Oh, wow, do you think they'll agree to that?" I don't hate Flickerman but he made his living exploiting us. After the war, he had toned down a bit.

"We have to give them something or else they'll start digging," he continued and sighed. "There's so much going on right, Delly's broken engagement, hiding Eva from Gale, and Peeta's upcoming treatments. But my main concern is keeping Peeta and Katniss safe and protected from the press. They deserve their privacy."

"What about our you-know-who?" I didn't press him to tell me who the mole was. Jonah, Jace and Darryn were left to help Bron. So one of them was our spy.

"He'll be handled before then, but in the meantime, there's something else I need to talk to you about." He shifted his feet looking uncertain. "Since our arrival, I've been getting calls from someone I have never expected. Blows my mind really. I've put off talking to him because I really don't know what he wants."

"Who?" I asked. My interest was piqued.

"Gale's younger brother, Rory Hawthorne. He wants to talk to me for some reason."

"What? What does he want?" I asked. This _was _unexpected. Why would he possibly want to speak to Haymitch? Does he know about Gales' obsession with Peeta? My mind spun with so many questions.

"That's what I want to talk to you about," he sighed. "I don't know the kid very well. Just saw him here and there in District 13. Other than that, I have no clue as to why he would want to speak to me."

"What are you going to do?"

"I was thinking that I would speak to him with Katniss and Peeta present," he suggested. "It doesn't seem right to be talking to him without them. He's Gale's younger brother so it involves them. They're both pretty pissed with me right now, so I don't want to do this behind their back. My first impulse was to meet with him, but then––"

"You don't want to upset or piss off Peeta and Katniss more than they are," I guessed.

"And I don't want to get another black eye," he chuckled. The bruise on his face was not as noticeable since Delly covered it with makeup when we were out and about. "The one she gave me just started to heal."

"You deserved it, you know that right?" I snickered at him.

"I think she's been wanting to hit me for some time now," he guffawed.

"I'm surprised she waited this long," I retorted. We laughed amongst ourselves.

"Seriously, is Delly okay?'

"She's fine, Haymitch," I assured him. I'm more interested in Rory Hawthorne's sudden interest in talking to him. What could he possibly want? Suddenly, Bron appeared in the room.

"What do you want, Bron?" I asked with as much civility I could muster. I imagined throwing my favorite axe into his thick skull. Death was too good for him. A slow painful torture was better suited for him, for what he did to Delly. Haymitch convinced me that Delly breaking off their engagement was punishment enough; I beg to differ. His presence affected all of us since we will be seeing his ugly mug in the unforeseeable future. If Delly is pregnant he will be a fixture in her life for she would never deny him the right to have relationship with his own kid. Delly felt betrayed and hurt but she would never lash out on Bron by punishing him that way. She stilled care for him.

"Well…um…I was wondering why Kara is here," he inquired. He looked sheepish and embarrassed. Bron still performed his duty as expected. However, he was no longer privy to our private activities.

"Bron, I know that things between you and Delly are…different," Haymitch spoke. He was cordial to Bron. This was Haymitch being diplomatic and reasonable. "But if Delly wanted you to know why she's here, she would have told you."

"Well, she's barely speaking to me," Bron spat back. I narrowed my eyes at him. He's upset. I had the intention to tell him to fuck off but Haymitch interrupted me.

"And she has every right to be, don't you think," he returned in a calm manner. "Listen, you need to give her space and time."

"I know we're over and I've accepted that, but that doesn't mean I don't care about her."

"But the nature of your relationship is gone. What happens in her life is private and doesn't concern you anymore," Haymitch reminded him. Ouch, that got to hurt.

"Besides, you have work to do. Since you're here I need to speak to you about an assignment." He led Bron out of the room leaving me alone with my bottle of whiskey.

I was astounded in Haymitch's trust in Bron to continue protecting Peeta. After their breakup Bron wanted to help find him. Haymitch broke down and told him the truth about Peeta's disappearance. In reaction, he was livid for being tested. Haymitch told him that he didn't have the right to be angry. It was a necessary measure to insure Peeta's safety. He didn't apologize for testing him since the truth came out about his involvement with Gale.

"Johanna, can I speak with you for a moment?" Kara appeared in the room. Her face gave no indication of stress or worry. I didn't realize that an hour had passed since her arrival. Kara walked back into Delly's room. She lay on the bed, clutching her stomach.

"Delly, what's wrong?" I asked, concern etched on my face. Delly was pale. She sat up once I sat on her bed. She reached over and grabbed me by the waist and laid her head on my shoulder. She cried for a few minutes, soaking my shirt with her tears. "Hey, you're scaring me. What's wrong?"

She lifted her head and stared into my eyes. "What?" I asked again. Then out of nowhere she laughed, a deep belly laugh that I haven't heard in days. I was puzzled by her behavior as I watch her for second. Then, she stopped and took a deep breath. Her lower lip trembled and the next thing I knew she's sobbing again. Oh, my God, she might as well be pregnant with her brand of crazy. I foresaw pregnant Delly with her cravings, emotions and moods swings all over the place. I really, really wished Peeta were here.

* * *

**Katniss POV ––**

I woke up from the best sleep I had since I can't remember. I felt everything, the sheet covering my waist and the pillow beneath my head. A sigh escaped my lips as I felt Peeta's lips trail from my shoulder to the small of my back causing me to shiver in anticipation and excitement. My need for him multiplied in the hours we spent together. We had explored every inch of each other's bodies with our hands, mouth and tongue. He had awakened sensations that I had denied myself because of my fears. I giggled as he turned me over and grunted his impatience. Peeta continued his fiery trail as he swallowed my aching nipple into his hot mouth. "Peeta," I whined. "As much I want to have another round," I gasped as his hand wedged between my legs, "I'm hungry."

"Me, too," he responded sending a chill down my spine. His hands continued to release another orgasm from me. I screamed his name while he sucked on my aching nipple and thrust his fingers inside me. That was fast. I came down from my high opening my eyes to find Peeta staring at me in awe.

"I could watch you do that all day." He smiled as he lowered his lips on my belly and headed towards my quivering center. When he reached his destination, I arched my back and moaned.

He had prepared another amazing breakfast, which he served in bed. For the past two days we lounged and relaxed in Effie's home taking advantage of the hot tub and indoor pool. Dinner was served in her patio with stars above us. It was romantic and sweet; all prepared by my boyfriend. I sighed as he continued to pleasure me with his mouth and hands. "Peeta," I gasped. "I love you."

There was a twinkle in his eyes and a smile on his face that melted my heart as he whispered back, "I love you too."

His face hovered above mine with his hair askew looking like a little boy opening a gift. "I want to remember this moment forever." He leaned down and kissed me sweet, soft and chaste. A new kind of hunger ached between my legs as I pushed him back and covered his body with mine. Mouth and tongue tangled for dominance, seeking each other lips with ravenous intent. Our lustful moment was interrupted by the rudest sound that emanated from my stomach. It growled.

"Oh, my God, Katniss." Peeta giggled against my lips. "That was so romantic."

"Sorry, I did try to tell you I was hungry," I whined in exasperation. My center was slick with desire. My mind and body struggled between lust and hunger; for food and for Peeta. Now that I had a taste of him, I couldn't get enough.

"I'm sorry, baby, but you know I can't help myself with you naked in our bed looking like that." I blushed at his compliment. He played with my hair as I reached over and pulled his lips to mine. Again, my stomach growled in protest. "I guess I better feed you because I know how cranky you get when you're not fed."

I pouted as he sat up, snapped on his prosthetic leg and put on a pair of sleeping pants. "You want to join me while I make us a late lunch?" he asked. I looked at the clock. It was two in the afternoon. We had skipped lunch after having passed out after round three. Not that I minded since Peeta had a breakthrough with our new found intimacy. I hoped that soon we will take the next step to our relationship; making love for the first time. He looked sweet and sexy standing in the middle of room smiling at me, bare chest and feet. I was tempted to rip off his pants and forego lunch and satiated a different kind of hunger. "The sooner we eat the sooner we can get back to bed," he continued. I liked that idea.

After lunch, we stood side by side washing dishes while he dried the plates. "So I was thinking," he started. "I know it's a little late but I thought we could go out for a walk."

I shook my head. "I thought you wanted to you know…" I was ravenous for him. I couldn't wait to get him back in bed, naked and quivering from my touch. My never-ending need to touch him was new to me.

"As much as I like that idea, I thought you want to go out for a few hours,' he explained. "Get out of the house for a while."

"We'll be recognized on sight, Peeta," Fear replaced my lust as I imagined being mobbed by the press and obsessed fans. Gale and Eva's face flashed in my mind taking Peeta away from me.

"I thought of that," he returned. "Come on, I have an idea." He extended his hand and led me to another room. Inside was Effie's wardrobe and dressing room. It was beyond impressive. There were racks full of shoes, wigs and other accessories that filled one wall. In her wardrobe, I recognized a few of her dresses she wore from our first reaping to Snow's dinner during the Victory Tour. "So here's my idea––"

An hour later, I clutched onto Peeta's hand as we walked down a sidewalk filled with District 1 residents. No approached us as Peeta donned a dark hat to hide his beautiful blond hair while I wore a short shoulder length pink wig. There was a ridiculous amount of wigs in different lengths and array of colors to choose from in Effie's dressing room. I chose one that was subtle and hoped it didn't attract too much attention. We both wore dark brown contact lenses to disguise our eyes. I didn't recognize my reflection from the window as we window shop at a pet store. I flinched every time someone looked in our direction hoping that they didn't recognize us behind our disguises. It was nerve wracking and stressful.

"Relax, honey," Peeta said as he squeezed my hand in comfort. "I promise you that no one will recognize us." I relaxed and smiled at him knowing that he would never let anything happen. We walked in a slow pace as the crowd rushed around us. After a while, I'm relaxed and felt at ease. It was liberating and surprising how no one recognized us. I felt normal for once in my life as I walked beside my boyfriend without a care in the world. I'm in awe at Peeta's sense of adventure and bit of recklessness because rest assured if Haymitch ever found out about this, he would be livid. This was dangerous and risky.

We stopped by a coffee shop, ordered drinks and a small snack. While Peeta drank his tea without sugar I enjoyed my cup of hot chocolate with a buttery croissant.

Minutes later, I rested my head on Peeta's shoulder as we lay on a patch of grass at a nearby park. "Peeta," I murmured low and soft so no one can hear me.

"Hmm.," he mumbled back with smile on his face. He looked peaceful and content to lie in the grass in public for entire world to see. My hand snuck inside his shirt feeling the strong muscles on his stomach. "I'm really glad we did this. I was really scared at first but…I feel safe with you."

"There's nothing to be scared about, honey," he assured me. "As long as we don't attract attention we should be okay." I nodded my head.

"I'm just surprised you wanted to do this," I confessed.

"I feel good, you know. For the first time in along time, I feel okay," he started. "Once we're in the Capitol…we won't have this…privacy and time alone. I want to savor this while we still can." I understood his reasoning. We acted and felt like two normal people and doing normal things. Walking hand in hand, ordering drinks and lying in the grass at a park, normal things that people do everyday, but not us. Not Peeta and me, our lives since the moment I volunteered and he was reaped were dictated by Snow, Haymitch, the games and the rebellion. How I long for normalcy and anonymity.

"We're never going to be normal, Peeta," I reminded him. "What happened to us was far from normal, and lives have never be the same."

"And I wouldn't change a single thing, Katniss," he added. "I wouldn't change a single thing because it got us here together." I gasped in shock, how could he say that? He lost leg, his family and his mind. "When I first laid my eyes on you, I knew you were special, different from any girl I known. Granted I was only five, but…I knew you were it for me." Tears brimmed my eyes. He was going to make me cry. "And in the end, I have you. You're mine, Katniss…I got you."

"How can you say that?" I choked on my words. "You lost so much because of me––" I sat up, wiping tears from my eyes. "You, amongst all of us, suffered so much."

"And I would do it all over again knowing that you were at the end of my dark, long journey to get to you," he stated calm and confident. "Don't you see you, Katniss? All this was worth. Yes, the journey was strife with obstacles that tested us. But we won…we beat all the odds."

"But it didn't have to be so painful…so much suffering," I complained. Peeta suffered so much with every person he encountered, I denied him of love, Haymitch betrayed and abandoned him, Snow tortured him, Gale and Eva abused and violated him…the list of people overwhelmed me. And for him to confess that all his suffering was worth it in the end was the testament of Peeta's generous heart and nature. He truly was one of a kind. Then, it dawned on me. I looked at him. He was my Peeta. The Peeta before his hijacking and abuse in the Capitol. My Boy with the Bread came back to me. "Peeta, Peeta." I cried as I sat on his lap and hugged him tight around his lean waist. "You're back, you came back."

He returned my embrace with equal vigor, wrapping his strong arms around me. I felt him beneath me. I was too happy to react in lust and excitement. "Katniss, I don't understand what you're saying," he laughed. "I've been back for some time now."

"You don't understand," I cried. He didn't understand because he never knew how much I missed the boy who smiled in awe when I walked into a room. The same boy who protected me sacrificing his own life so I would come home to Prim. I took him for granted, avoided his friendship and affection. I missed that boy from the Merchant. I looked into his eyes; _he_ was there. There was a familiar light behind his crystal blue eyes as if the Boy with the Bread crawled and fought his way out of the depths of hell. I kissed him hoping that he felt the gratitude for finding his way back to me.

"As much as I loved to continue this," he said between kisses. "You better stop before I lose my self control." I laughed in glee feeling his hard length beneath our clothing.

"You want to head back home?" I suggested.

"Not yet," he said as I pouted in disappointment. "There's some place I want to show you, but first we need to make a stop."

"Peeta," I whined. "I want to go back to Effie's."

"Come on, Katniss," he encouraged me. "I promise we'll go home, just indulge me." I tighten my arms around his neck. "It's a surprise, okay?" He looked so happy and carefree. How can I deny him his request because who knew what how much alone time we'd have once we meet up with everyone?

"Then we can go home?"

"Yes, and straight to bed," he suggested wiggling his blond brows. I laughed and stood up extending my hand to help him off the ground.

"Let's go then," I demanded. "The sooner you show me this place, the sooner we can go home." I loved our time together, but being with Peeta and hiding in plain sight was stressful. I kept looking over my shoulders to ensure that no one discovered us. Effie had been generous and discreet, leaving us alone in her home. I never asked where she stayed at night and what she did all day. We've been alone for the last two days.

Peeta held on to my waist as walked three blocks further into the city. I almost changed my mind when we stopped in front of a small clothing boutique. I tugged his hand as he reached over to open the door.

"Peeta, they're closed" I pointed to the 'CLOSED' sign. I didn't like the direction his surprise was taking us.

"It's okay I know the owner," he quipped back tugging me inside. I was surprised to find Effie in the store to meet us.

"Hello, my dears," She greeted us with her famous smile. "Did you have nice afternoon walk?" Here in District 1, she wore her infamous gaudy attire complete with fluorescent blue hair, white makeup with long blue eyes lashes and bright pink lipstick. I like her new look back in District 12 better.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I'm here as Peeta requested to help you with his surprise," she explained. "Welcome to Creations. Browse around and help yourself."

"What about the owner? Wouldn't he be–– "

"Katniss," he interrupted me. "Effie is the owner. I wouldn't have brought you here if I couldn't secure the place for some privacy. There is no one here but us."

"Oh,' I said. I looked around and should have realized that it was Effie all over the place, her taste in clothing, shoes, jewelry and accessories. There was hint of someone else too but I was afraid to speculate. Someone close and dear to me.

"Well, I own this store now, but before…it was originally Cinna's since he was the lead designer," Effie choked back a sob. "I took over after…"

I turned to Peeta. "I thought for your surprise you want to something of his. Something he created," he explained. My brow furrowed in confusion. "I had Effie help me find a place where we could go out and have dinner here in District 1 before leaving for the Capitol. It'll just be us, I promise."

"You want to go out for dinner, tonight?" It was a sweet and romantic gesture.

"Would you let me take you out on a date, Katniss? Have dinner with me?"

"Peeta?" I'm shocked and overwhelmed. "We already went out on a date with Bron and Delly, remember?"

"Yes, but it was a double date and I didn't ask you like I wanted to without a chaperone and a threat to my life," he corrected me. "This is just the two of us, no chaperones or Guardsmen over our shoulders."

"It's really sweet but not necessary," I said to him. He already romanced and seduced me. I counted our first date albeit it was a double date with Born and Delly as our first date.

"Listen, all my life I wandered and planned to ask you out on a date," he mentioned. "I thought of how, when and where I would take you if you said yes." He took both my hands into his. "I know we're together now, but I never had a chance to ask the girl of my dreams…and fantasies out on a date. Just you and me, like normal people." I wanted to refute his statement, we weren't normal not since our reapings.

"Oh, Peeta, how sweet," Effie gushed. I had forgotten she was there with us but my eyes were focused on my boyfriend.

"So, Katniss Everdeen, I asking you out on a date. Will you have dinner with me?" he asked. I heard Effie sobbed behind me.

"Yes, Peeta Mellark, I would love to go out on a date with you," I answered. I felt giddy like a schoolgirl being asked on her first date. _'Wait, this is my first real date with Peeta,'_ my mind echoed. _'This is Peeta who I first met, the Boy with the Bread.'_

"Thank you," he returned. "Can I pick out your dress? Effie will help me with the size and everything. That's why she's here, to help."

"Just as long as I get to pick out your clothes, Peeta," I asked. "It's only fair."

"Deal." I leaned over to kiss him but he leaned back.

"Why, Miss Everdeen, we haven't had our date yet," he teased me. "I want to have dinner first before our first kiss." I laughed at his antics as I recalled the fiery kisses he gave me early this morning. It was more than a kiss and I expected a repeat performance when we got back to Effie's home. I snickered as I realized that I was taking my first date back home to my bed. _'Wow, I'm a hussy,'_ I giggled to myself. But then again what girl in her right mind would refuse Peeta Mellark, my sexy, cheesy and romantic boyfriend who wanted to wine and dine me.

"Come on, Peeta. It's time to look for Katniss' dress," Effie instructed as she led him into the women's area. "No peeking." She told Peeta. "I'm sure Katniss will have no problem picking out something suitable for you to wear."

I walked over to the men's section. I sighed and tried not to burst into tears as recognized Cinna's signature clothing. I wished he were here. I wished Delly and Johanna was here. I'm surprised that I miss our girl talks even though I was the subject of their teasing. For several minutes, I looked high and low for a nice jacket and slacks for Peeta. Nothing caught my eye until I looked over and saw the perfect suit for him. I inspected it for a moment and imagined him wearing it. I looked at the tag. I smiled touching the label, it read, "Designed by Cinna." It was as if he made it just for Peeta.

"Oh, aren't you two the most precious things," Effie exclaimed. The dark gray suit I chose for Peeta fit him well. It defined his broad shoulders, lean waist and tight ass. The color accentuated the color of his vibrant blue eyes. I picked a dark blue tie with tiny dark purple flowers and white shirt to compliment the dark color of his suit. He slicked his hair back with a touch of gel that made his hair glisten. "The clothes you picked for each other are uncanny. It's a perfect match," she complimented us.

Peeta chose a dark forest green dress that displayed my girlish curves. The neckline was modest fastened with a brooch of a yellow dandelion with a matching bracelet and ring. He had picked it out himself stating that he didn't have time to get me flowers for our date.

"I'll always think of this evening whenever you wear this," he explained as he fingered the brooch between my breasts.

"It's beautiful, Peeta," I gushed at my present. "It's better than flowers since this will last forever." My skin tingled when he clipped the bracelet on my wrist. I tried not to laugh as he struggled with the fastener.

"Don't laugh at me, I'm not used to doing this," he admitted. I felt excited and giddy as Effie took a photo of us. This truly felt like a first date. It is moments like this that I wished that Prim was here with me. She would have loved helping me get ready for my date with Peeta. I miss her so much.

The front door opened. A huge man in his late thirties greeted Effie. "Ms. Trinket, the car is ready."

"Thank you, Mal. And as usual you are on time," she complimented him. "Peeta, Katniss this is Mal, your driver and body guard for this evening. He will be driving you to the restaurant." She turned to Mal.

"These two kids mean the world to me, Mal," she said. "I want no harm to come to them."

"I assure you, Ms. Trinket that they will be safe with me," Mal swore as he turned to us. "I am honored to meet you Miss. Everdeen, Mr. Mellark."

"Please, Mal. Just call us Peeta and Katniss," I told him.

"Just as you wish, Miss. Everdeen." He bowed his head. I chuckled to myself as he again called me Miss. Everdeen after giving him permission to call me Katniss. I didn't argue with him since his imposing height and build scared me. He was at least 6'5" and very muscular. Mal wore a black jacket, shirt and slacks. He was so huge, that his arm alone was the size of my leg. I felt safe with him. Peeta walked over to Effie and embraced her.

"Thank you Effie. You don't know how much this mean to me. Thank you for helping me set this up," he said. "You're the greatest. I couldn't have done this…this surprise for Katniss without your help and input."

"It's my pleasure, Peeta. Now go before you start to make me cry again." She pulled out a handkerchief out of a box and dabbed her eyes.

Inside the hover car Peeta held my hand. He looked confident and relaxed not like a boy out on his first date. I snickered at him when he leaned down and placed a small kiss on my neck. "You look so beautiful, Katniss. I don't know how I'm going to be able to keep my hands off of you." His other hand landed on my thigh, his fingers inched the space between my legs. I clenched my legs together.

"You're the one that insisted to go out this evening," I panted wishing we were home in our bed.

"Yeah, but I didn't think you'd be so fucking sexy wearing that color," he whispered in my ear. "I want to taste you right here, right now."

"Down boy, I'm not that kind of girl who put out on the first date," I teased him. It was fun playing and teasing him. This was his idea and I'm determined to finish our date as he planned.

"Seriously, Katniss. Thank you for going through with this," he said. "I know that you wanted to spend our time alone at Effie's but this may be the only time we have to be alone for awhile. I dreamt about this moment for a long time. And this…exceeds my expectations."

"Well, that's because you know I'm going home with you at the end of the date, Peeta," I chortled.

"And don't forget naked and in my bed," he leered at me as he licked his lower lip.

"Okay, if you insist." He smiled, the kind of smile that reached his eyes with a look of awe and adoration.

In no time, we reached the restaurant. Mal escorted us into a private elevator that reached the top floor of a tall building. Two giggling girls greeted us just as we walked out of the elevator. Both kept jockeying to stand in front of each other.

_Great,_ they ignored me and drooled all over Peeta as they eyed him from head to toe. "Hello, Peeta my name is Mandy and I will be your server for the evening," she said smiling and blinking her eyes at him. Peeta as usual, was immuned to her flirtation much to my dismay. Peeta had always been attentive when it came to me but he was oblivious when girls attempted to flirt with him. My inner Katniss was obsessed and possessive of him; I wanted to tell them to fuck off and leave my boyfriend alone. Don't they know who I am? I'm fucking Katniss Everdeen, the love of his life. _'Keep your hands to yourself and everything will be fine,' _I telegraphed with my eyes. As I expected they ignore my heated glare.

"Hi, Peeta, my name is Sugar," she announced. "I will be assisting Mandy with your dinner and if by chance there is anything else you want, all you have to do is ask." _Ugh, did she just proposition him in front of me? Maybe we should have gone back home instead._

"Thank you," he said. "My girlfriend and I appreciate your assistance this evening." Hah, put you in your place, didn't he? He kissed my hand in emphasis. Mandy and Sugar sighed at this romantic gesture. _Yup, he's mine and don't you forget it._

They led us to a terrace overlooking the city. It was a perfect spot away from the public dining room and very private. Mal stood at the doorway preventing people from interrupting us. "Peeta, this is…amazing," I said as I stared out at the view in front of us.

"I'm glad you like it. I was nervous that you wouldn't like this place," he admitted.

"We're alone and Mal is at the door to stop people from bothering us," I continued, "I love it, it's romantic and…perfect."

"Not bad for a first date?" He smiled, pleased with himself.

"It's beyond amazing, Peeta," I stated. "And what makes it amazing is that you did this all for me."

"I want you to be happy, Katniss," he expressed. "I want you to remember all our firsts. This is our first date." I walked over and hugged him close.

"Thank you, Peeta," I said. "I'll never forget this night as long I live."

"Well, the night's not over yet," he promised me. "I look forward to taking you home." He whispered in my ear. "Come on let's eat. You'll need your strength for later."

"Promises, promises," I leered at him.

"Katniss, you should know by now, that I always keep all my promises," he challenged me.

Dinner was fun and romantic. We shared a bottle of wine, the main entrée and dessert. By the end our meal, I was happy, full from dinner, tipsy and dying to take Peeta home. He was so sweet and charming throughout our date that I was falling in love with him all over again. I wanted this night to never end.

"Katniss?"

"Yes, Peeta." I took off my heel and ran my foot up his leg. He gasped in shock.

"Do you want to head back to Effie's?" he asked with a gleam in his eyes as he grabbed my foot before it reached his crotch.

"I thought you'd never ask," I stood up and grabbed his hand. Just as we reached the doorway where Mal was stationed, a fight broke out between Sugar and Mandy.

"Hey, let go, that's mine," Mandy screamed as she tugged on Peeta's dinner napkin.

"You let go. You took his utensils," Sugar shouted back, "and you stole his water glass."

"You took his dinner plates," she returned. "You shouldn't be here. You weren't even scheduled to work this evening." They continued to argue as we watched them fight over Peeta's place setting. Suddenly, the napkin ripped in two.

"You bitch, look what you made me do," Mandy yelled as she grabbed Sugar's hair. They landed on the ground grabbing each other's clothes ripping them off each other. The catfight was a perfect distraction as Mal escorted us out of the building. We giggled and laughed during the drive home. It was the funniest thing we had ever seen.

"Oh my God, they were fighting over your dinner plates and napkin," I hiccup from laughing so long. "They're crazy

"Well, they knew better to fight you, Katniss." Peeta laughed back. "You should have seen the look on your face when Mandy tried to put the napkin on my lap." His eyes twinkled at the memory.

"No one touches you like that Peeta," I said as I grabbed him through his slacks rubbing his hard length with my fingers. "This is mine and no one touches you but me." '_Rawr, that was possessive of me. I can't help it. I love him so much,' _my mind thought.

"Shit, baby, what happened to our first date kiss?" he gasped as he removed my hand from his crotch. Impatient, I leaned over and kissed him.

"Take me home Peeta," I said with love and desire thrumming through my veins. "Show me that you're mine and that no one will ever take you away from me."

"I'm yours, Katniss," he vowed. "For now and for always." I lay my head in the crook of his neck while he wrapped his arm around my waist. I'll always remember this night, our date night. My hands inched to remove every piece of clothing from his body, starting with his shirt revealing his lean muscular chest as his shirt slips off his shoulders.

We were so eager to get back to Effie's house that we didn't notice a lone car following behind us in a discreet distance.

* * *

_**AN: Thank you for reading this chapter. It was difficult and fun to write. Reviews and comments always appreciated. Have a great weekend.**_


	41. Chapter 41 - Forecast: Stormy Weather

Chapter 41 – Forecast: Stormy Weather

_AN: Thank you to my faithful readers and reviewers [Trude, Tea4e, Aqua Rules, LACR, guest, Yepperz and kamjam]. I can never thank you enough for taking the time for writing a review. Sorry, this is late, had a family emergency that had me out of town for a few days. All is well now. As usual, Hunger Games belongs to Suzanne Collins and any mistakes found are mine._

_So again I apologize for this chapter to be uploaded really late. I had meant to post Monday morning, but you all know what happened. So…._

* * *

**Effie POV ––**

I walked through my front door to find a trail of clothes scattered in my foyer. I followed the trail picking up a dark green dress, shoes, jacket and pants leading to my guest bedroom. I sighed in relief hoping not to pick up their unmentionables in the middle of my hallway_. That_, would have been embarrassing for the three of us. I dropped the clothes in front of the bedroom door when a familiar scent drew me away from the room.

As I walked into my kitchen, my heart skipped a beat. Peeta was preparing breakfast for Katniss. He was hunched over removing a sheet of Cheese buns out of my oven. Katniss was seated on a high stool, elbows rested on the island countertop as she stared at his ass in front of her. I heard her sigh. _Ah, to be young and in love once again._

Without so much of noticing her adoring glance, he proceeded to plate their breakfast, which consisted of an omelette with spinach, tomatoes, mushrooms and bacon. The aroma of mint tea and coffee was suspended in the air. Peeta had made good use of my kitchen since their stay. The amount of food ordered and deliveries stated as much. I left them alone for a couple of days to give them the much-deserved privacy that I would avail. So it surprised me when he called. I recalled Peeta's request. I resisted at first. But Peeta, the ever charming and sweet boy that he was, convinced me otherwise. Who can say no to that face? I laughed to myself as he stated his arguments and broke me down.

* * *

_**Flashback ––**_

"_Effie, please," he implored, his eyes shone with such longing that no video could disguise. Katniss was out of hearing range as she readied herself for bed. "I don't know when or if I'll ever get the chance to do this. We have such horrible memories in District 1, and now we're heading for the Capitol in a couple of days. I want to take my girl out for dinner. Just the two of us."_

"_It's too risky and reckless," I replied. The risks were huge. So much could go wrong._

"_Not if you take care of us. I know that you'll do everything to ensure our safety," he complimented me. I was struck by his faith in me to keep Katniss and him safe. "It will be my first real date with her. I want to do this before I won't get a chance to."_

_Why did he sound as if he was never going to do this again? It was a gloomy foreboding like as if he wouldn't be around to do so in the near future. "Peeta, why you don't wait until after the treatments. You'll have all the time in the world to go out in many dates with Katniss." He looked down, sad and disappointed. His hair grew causing the tips of his hair to curl. He was adorable insisting on taking Katniss out on a date._

"_It's been a long time since I felt this good, like I'm myself again," he explained. "I want to go on date with her. I want to feel normal for once. Just Peeta and Katniss, not the Star Cross Lovers of District 12, former tributes and Victors. But a boy taking his girl out on a date."_

"_It's dangerous. Gale is out there, you'll be spotted on sight," I argued with him._

"_Not unless we're disguised for most of the time," he said. "This is your home, Effie. You know the risks and dangers, but I have complete trust that you'll…take care of us. I lay my life and Katniss' life in your hands. You've never betrayed me, turned your back on me and I trust you…to keep us safe from any harm to come to us."_

"_But why now and here?" I knew their status in Districts 1,2 and the Capitol. Half still loved them the other half were angry for their involvement in the rebellion. They took away the games that meant jobs, as well as some industry's best customer, President Snow. Even I as an escort reaper was out of a job._

"_I don't know if I'll ever have a chance…if I survive the treatments." I gasped in horror._

"_Peeta, nothing is going to happen to you,' I screeched._

"_You don't know that…no one does, even Dr. Aurelius can't guarantee that." He looked somber and resigned with his fate however it turned out. It was as if I was granting him his last wishes. I stared at him for several seconds as he twisted his hands in front of him._

"_All right, I'll help you but with two conditions," I demanded. "One, you will agree to everything I say and do to protect you." He nodded his head in agreement._

"I really don't have much choice in that, Effie," he snickered. "I'm smart enough to know that I won't win in an argument with you."

_I ignored his implication. I'm not that obstinate, not like his Katniss. "Two, you will promise me…look in the eye and tell me that you will do whatever it takes to survive your treatments. I don't like your defeatist attitude, like you're already giving up."_

"_I'm not giving up, Effie, just being realistic." He was frustrated and annoyed._

"_Promise me, Peeta," I growled at him. He had to survive since he was the heart of me. When I looked at him he reminded me that hope, love and joy still existed in the world; a world that was plagued with greed, selfishness and distrust. Peeta represented many things that I took for granted. That friendship, family and love was more important than wealth, power and material things. I lived a life of luxury and excess. Turning my head as I led children to their death. To me it was just a job with many perks and advantages. They weren't people to me just a means to an end. Peeta and Katniss changed me. But me most of all, affected me in ways I had never imagined. _

"_Okay, Effie, I promise." He complied back with a shy smile. Since his return I had flinched every time I saw him, he was unrecognizable both physically and mentally. Lost was the charming young man that was adored in Panem. I thought we had lost him forever and never seeing that boy again. In front of me stood the boy that I missed and loved._

"_Okay, tell me your plans," I asked as I pulled out my event-planning pad. _

"_I love you, Effie and you're the best," he said. My heart tugged at his compliment. He looked so happy. Peeta Mellark, the Star Cross Lover of District 12 was back._

_**End of Flashback ––**_

* * *

That conversation occurred two nights ago. I had so much to do and plan; it was a daunting task with little time to execute it. Not only did the date need to be perfect, their safety was at the top of my list. Who would I trust to complete my tasks? Where could they go for their date? I had triple checked all the details for their outing and date. It had to be perfect, flawless and romantic from the moment they left my home to the time they return from dinner. I sent my best and personal guard to escort and guard them. I had known him for several years and trusted to keep my 'kids' safe. Mal would put his life in the line for them.

The restaurant they dined in was the best of Panem to offer. It was exclusive, expensive and, had a secluded area for VIPs and the elite. I wanted the best for them without the worry of the press and fans harassing them. I had complete faith that Mal would keep them safe

When I discussed the purchasing of the clothes and accessories for their date, Peeta was adamant in paying for the entire matter. Money was not the issue, but the principle fact that this is his date and he should pay for everything. I executed my plans to the littlest detail. I didn't count on an item that Peeta purchased at my store. I was prepared to advise him to have flowers for Katniss before their date but he beat me to it. At the last minute, he bought a brooch, bracelet and ring set that complimented her medallion. When all was said and done, they were a vision, fire and water. They complimented each other. They were in a word, perfection.

As they left for their date, Peeta hugged me one more time._ "I'm glad that you're in my life, Effie. You're are close to a mother that I would have wanted growing up. Thank you for taking care of Katniss and me." _He kissed my cheek and turned to his girl. I watched them walk out hand in hand out of my store. I couldn't keep the tears at bay from falling from my eyes. Damn you, Peeta. I had to redo my makeup all over again.

They were a sight to see in my kitchen. Peeta wore a white t-shirt; he was barefoot and in his sleeping pants. Katniss wore Peeta's white shirt from last night's date. It was intimate, scandalous and inappropriate dressing like that in my kitchen. But what do I care when I saw the look in their eyes as they glanced at each other. They were in love and no one could take that away from them.

'Hungry?" Peeta asked his girl as he placed a plate in front of her. She nodded her head, a gleam in her eyes told me she was hungry for something else, or rather someone else.

I cleared my throat. "Good morning my dears," I greeted them. Shocked and embarrassed, Katniss flinched and pulled the hem on her shirt down while Peeta rubbed the back of his neck. "Did you have a wonderful time last night?"

Katniss' smile was immediate. "It was perfect and amazing, Effie,' she answered. "Thank you for allowing us to have our date night."

"Please, it's all Peeta," I scoffed. "He planned every single moment. You have quite a remarkable young man, Katniss. You're a very lucky girl." I winked at her. She blushed in return as she tried to hide the red marks on her skin. I was accustomed to the 'love marks' Peeta gave her. It's indecent and inappropriate but who was to dictate their affair. They were two young teenagers in love and happy.

"You're wrong, Effie," Peeta spoke. "I'm the one who's lucky." He leaned over to kiss her check. He was so sweet and precious as he stood next to her with adoration and love in his eyes. His hair was tousled, cheeks rosy and a smile on his face. The flush of love was evident in their demeanor and faces. I had to tear my eyes away.

"Would you like to join us for breakfast, Effie?" Peeta inquired. "I made plenty." I have never seen his prosthetic leg up close. It was colored to match his skin tone. But it was obvious that it was a fake leg since it didn't match the texture of his pale skin of his other foot. The scars on his arms from the wild dog attack marred his arms. He had gained some weight since leaving 12 a few weeks ago. It was a remarkable change in him. Even Katniss held a healthy and happy glow about her. I envied their happiness but not their circumstances. It was a long road to get to this point.

I held back the sob that was stuck in my throat. They had suffered so much and yet here they stood, alive, happy and in love. I swore to keep them that way under my charge.

"Thank you, Peeta, I would love to join you. I missed your Cheese Buns," I thanked him and reached over to plate my own breakfast as Peeta poured coffee on an extra cup.

"Here you go," he smiled as he dropped a cube of sugar and poured a dash of milk on my cup.

"How did you––"

"Peeta pays attention to the people he cares about," Katniss answered with such adoration in her eyes. There was a look of awe in her face while Peeta blushed at her comment. I was touched by his gesture and attention to me. How I wished there was more like him.

"What are your plans today?" I hope that he had no plans in leaving again. All night I stressed and agonized over them. I knew it wasn't a good idea to let Katniss and him out on their own, but he looked so sweet and vulnerable. He wanted to take out his girl on a date. I caved. I made constant calls to Mal, asking for an update and status of their date. He understood my paranoia since they were in public and on their own without a complete security detail to watch them. I debated hiring more security but that would only attract more attention to them. The establishment already had their own security so I knew that no press or fans could sneak in unnoticed. I wanted their date to be as normal and as romantic as possible.

"Since you're sneaking us into the Capitol later this evening, we're just going to stay in and relax," Katniss answered. "I want to thank you again for letting us have this…time alone. We really appreciate for letting us stay here…in your home."

"You opened your home to me in 12 when I needed one," I replied back. "I could no less do the same for you."

"I'm really glad that you decided to live in 12, Effie," Peeta said. "With you living there with us, you have made my family complete. I've missed you." I didn't have the heart to break the news about Delly and Bron's broken engagement. It wasn't my news to tell.

"I've missed you too. All of you," I said. My life after the rebellion was empty and meaningless. I was no longer a reaping escort or companion for the District 12 tributes. That life was over. I remembered the anger I felt when Haymitch told me that I had to leave the Capitol. My life was in danger.

* * *

_**Flashback ––**_

"_Effie, I'm telling you right now, you have to leave with me" he demanded. "You're in grave danger."_

"_I'm a Capitol Reaping Escort and a District 1 citizen," I reminded him. "This is my job. I will not partake in your 'rebellion'." He grunted in frustration. I knew there were rumors of a rebellion unfolding under President Snow regime. It was not a well-kept secret that the "MockingJay" was going to lead the rebellion. I ignored the implications of Katniss' involvement._

"_Effie, you don't understand. Once the MockingJay is rescued, they'll come after you," Haymitch explained._

"_I don't know what you are talking about," I screamed back. "Go ahead and start a war against Snow and the Capitol. I want no part of it. I love my life and my home. Why would I sacrifice it? I know nothing of the rebellion."_

"_I know you're not stupid, Effie. Underneath all that makeup and ridiculous clothes is a smart woman," he said. "Katniss will be rescued soon and since you are District 12's escort they will come after you, do you understand? You can deny your involvement and knowledge of the uprising, all you want. It won't matter because anyone close to her is suspect. Me, you, Peeta, they will come after anyone remotely connect or rumored in connection to the rebellion. You are now longer safe here and I trying to keep you alive."_

"_I am not leaving," I screeched._

"_I'm trying to save your life, Effie," he yelled back. He stood in front of me, invading my personal space. I was shocked to see the look in his eyes. There was determination and concern on his face. He was sober which surprised me. I have never seen him this way. In front of me stood a man who I knew existed behind the alcohol and selfish demeanor. He was a man with a mission and purpose. I knew deep inside he loved Katniss and Peeta like they were his own. Keeping them alive gave him new purpose and meaning in his life. Little did I realize that he sacrificed Peeta for the sake of the rebellion. I hated him for it. _

"_I will gag your mouth and hog tie you if I have to," he threatened me. _

"_I dare you, Abernathy," I challenged him back. He took a step forward his face a mere inches from mine. Haymitch was a handsome and intelligent man, a fact I cannot deny, but his years of alcohol abuse aged him. He was not at all a man you could rely on. With the appearance of Katniss and Peeta something happened to him. He was sober, less to act out in anger and in self- control. They changed him._

"_Threaten me all you like Abernathy," I responded. "You lay on hand on me and I'll not only change your religion but your existence as well." I may be a reaper escort but my years in the Capitol taught me how to defend myself. I'd go down fighting. "If I'm going to leave here it will be on my own accord." I jabbed his chest with my finger. He flinched as my nail dug into his chest._

"_I don't want to fight you, Effie," he said standing down as he took a step back. "I'm asking you to come with me because..." He gulped and cleared his throat. "Peeta and Katniss will never forgive me if anything happened to you." He knew my weakness and Haymitch was a great manipulator. You had to be if you wanted to be an effective mentor. I did not expect to get attached to Peeta and Katniss, but I did. Then to my horror a thought struck me._

"_They know about the rebellion against Snow? They're involved in this?" I inquired. Haymitch was quiet and looked down to the floor then to his left. I knew his quirks. He was hiding something. "Oh, for everything that is holy and…they don't know." I accused him. He stepped back from my personal space. "They don't know and ––you're using them. You're using two young kids in your agenda…how could you? You might as well hand them over to Snow, Haymitch. You put a target on their backs."_

"_I'm not using them," he defended himself. "They did that on their own the moment they agreed to die with the berries. They defied the Capitol and Snow…and they didn't even know that…that one act alone ignited…something bigger them. Their willingness to die for each other. They gave people hope, Effie. They were willing to die on their terms…not the games, but for themselves. They are what we need to inspire hope, freedom––"_

_I narrowed my eyes and sneered back, "Call it what you want an inspiration…the fire that ignited your war against Snow…but it is what is it...you're using them, Haymitch. Plain and simple. You're using two young kids who only wanted to survive and go home to their families." I choked back a sob. "They trusted you…to help them survive…to keep them safe…"_

_He had the decency to look ashamed and guilty. "You do this, Haymitch…you use them for your agenda…if they die because of your cause without knowing why they died… I hope you can live with yourself for sacrificing their lives without even telling them what they died for. That's deceitful. You're no better than President Snow."_

"_Effie––"_

"_Shut the fuck up," I spoke with disdain. Haymitch eyes grew wide from my use of profanity. I never curse unless I'm really angry. I'm beyond angry, livid. I'm angry for myself too for caring about Peeta and Katniss because it wasn't Haymitch's fault that I grew to love them. I guess Haymitch wasn't the only one that changed. _

_I cringed to myself. I too was guilty for using them. After their victory at the arena, I gained celebrity status as a reaper escort to not only one tribute but to two Victors. It was unprecedented to not only crown two Victors but two who were rated to not survive the first round in the arena. The odds were never in their favor. If I expected one of them to survive to the third round, it would have been Katniss. Peeta was too kind and gentle to kill even to defend himself. However, I never anticipated his devotion to Katniss. He would kill for her, defend her and die for her. _

_My status gained me prestige and privileges never bestowed to an escort. I led them to slaughter every time, I escorted them to an event or party. I reveled in my popularity and fame. I was blinded by the fame I attained that I never acknowledged their pain and suffering. As far as I knew, they were going to die in the 76__th__ Hunger Games since every past Victor was gunning for them. It was a glorious end and honor for them. _

"_We need to leave now if you're coming with me," he implored. I looked around me, silently saying goodbye to my life, as I knew it. _

_**End of Flashback ––**_

* * *

I left with Haymitch with great reluctance, anger and sadness. I left my home and the life I knew because I was guilty by association. My disappearance only cemented my connection with the rebels, as I too became a fugitive. In District 13, I was out of my element. I felt helpless and disconnected in my new world. Taking care of Katniss only alleviated my depression for a while. People I knew were fighting for a cause, for their freedom and lives while I went on with completing mundane duties. I hated it. I felt no purpose or meaning.

When Peeta, Johanna and Annie Cresta were rescued I knew that I was saved from their fate. Citizen or not, I would have been treated the same; abused, starved and tortured. Haymitch saved my life. I owed him for that. But I knew to whom I owed my new freedom.

My allegiance and loyalty were for Peeta and Katniss. If they asked me to jump, I asked how high. I owe two teens my life, my new life after the rebellion. When Cinna was murdered he decreed all his possessions to me. My new life afforded me a sense of freedom I never knew existed and maintain the luxury I was accustomed to. But it wasn't enough; I yearn for friendship, family and love. Intangible things that weighed and valued higher than money and power. _'Thank you Peeta and Katniss for my new life. I'll never be able to repay them for what they had given me.'_

Throughout the day they clung to each other, never leaving a space between then. I left them to their own devises giving them their last moments of privacy. It was heartbreaking as I overhead them in the patio area in the late afternoon. Their bags were packed and room in order. They even washed the sheets and pillowcases from their bed.

"I'm going to miss this," Katniss sighed as she sat on his lap. Her head rested against his. One arm hung over his shoulder while the other was intertwined with fingers. Again, they are so sweet and adorable.

"It's been a great couples of weeks," he added. "I'll never forget every single moment of it." He was sad and melancholy. "Thank you for––"

"No, I should be thanking you, Peeta," Katniss interjected as she cupped his face with both hands. "These past few weeks have been the happiest I ever felt in my life."

"Me, too," he whispered back. "I love you Katniss, don't ever forget that."

"I love you too, Peeta so much," she cried. Tears gathered in her eyes.

"Hey, why you crying?"

"I…I missed so much…I wasted so much time," she sobbed. "We could have had this if I hadn't been so scared and stupid."

"Katniss, we can't think about the past. What's done is done," he said. "Don't make me go back there."

"But as some point, we have to. We need to talk about––"

"Not now, please Katniss," he begged her.

With great reluctance she complied. "Okay," she sighed in resignation. "I just want you to know that I will stand beside you no matter what happens, Peeta."

They stayed there for an hour before sequestering themselves in the guest bedroom. With great anxiety, I made a call to the one person who could answer my questions to Peeta's resigned behavior. I switched on my video caller. "Hello, Kara. Can you spare me a few minutes of your time?" We spoke close to an hour. She couldn't divulge the method of his treatments because they were private. Her main concern were the sessions he needed to have before them.

"_We need to open up a lot of emotional wounds he suffered not just by the games, but his whole life, starting with his family and the people he trusted during the games," she hinted._

I was horrified by the idea of reopening wounds that would remind him of those who had hurt whether it was intentional or not. He made great strides in his recovery from his abuse and torture. Why make him relive everything?

"_His treatments are not just medical but emotional as well. He needs a clear and healthy outlook of his future. There are many emotional and psychological wounds that cannot be cured by medicine alone. Peeta still had issues that need to be discussed and confronted, but with his fragile state of mind, it would surely trigger an episode. He has not had one serious episode since leaving 12."_

Their happiness was just a band-aid to the hurt and suffering he endured.

"_His scars are deep, not the ones we can see. Please understand that there are reasons why it must be done," she explained. "I need you to trust me that I would never hurt Peeta. It is true that he has made a remarkable recovery but...his treatment will be successful if he faced emotional issues that he buried." _

Then she stunned me.

"_I need you to do something for me," she requested. "Things painful and hurtful are going to be revealed. I need you to be the objective one to help everyone overcome the obstacles and problems that will occur during his treatments and sessions. Everyone is too invested in Peeta and I understand that. They love him just as you do. He is a remarkable young man. But I need at least one person in your close-knit family to trust Dr. Aurelius and me_." I didn't understand what she meant. "I need one objective person to trust that we...I had nothing but Peeta's best interest."

With a heavy heart, I realized that Peeta's journey was far from over.

Dinner was quiet as I ordered our last meal in District 1. I insisted that Peeta not prepare our meal but enjoy the time we had left. He argued that he wouldn't mind since it kept his mind occupied but I countered his argument stating that his time was better spent with Katniss. He relented. After dinner they sauntered back to the bedroom. They were emotionally exhausted and stressed at the fact that they were hours away from entering the Capitol. I suggested a nap before departure. They left without hesitation or encouragement.

To occupy my time I turned on the monitor to watch Capitol News Tonight, a new program that reported stories and updates about the progress throughout Panem. Unfortunately, the first segment broadcasted Commander Gale Hawthorne of the Guardsmen. He stood tall and aloof as the news reporter asked him question about...a Peeta and Katniss sighting at District 1. "Oh…holy mother of––" I turned off my phone for I knew that Haymitch was bound to call me. I would rather face him then have him berate me over the phone. It only took ten minutes for the press and media to appear at my residence. Everyone knew Mal was my personal bodyguard. So when Peeta and Katniss were whisked away with Mal guarding them, they put two and two together. Why they were interviewing Gale puzzled me. He hasn't been involved in Katniss' life since her return to 12.

Haymitch had updated me in with the sordid detail of Gale's obsession with Katniss. What shocked me was his need to hurt Peeta. He lost Katniss to Peeta and it wasn't his fault that she chose him. Everyone knew that Katniss was in love with him. It was so obvious when you saw her with him. Beside, there are plenty of women out there for Gale to fall in love with; someone out there who was willing to love him, a hero of the rebellion and the First Guardsmen of Panem. Gale loved her but she didn't return her feelings for him. He needed to face the reality and move on.

I don't get it. I really don't. If you love someone and they don't love you back, why continue to torture yourself by convincing them to love you in return. It's not real and in the end you'll both be miserable.

Gale Hawthorne. Sure he's handsome, mysterious and sexy, but all that anger and brooding temperament…so not attractive. He was like a little boy having a temper tantrum for not getting what he wanted. I wouldn't want to spend my time appeasing his ego and catering to his needs, so much hard work and maintenance. Seemed all to one sided. Granted, I truly do believe that he loves Katniss, but his 'love' was obsessive, possessive and selfish.

I understood his love for Katniss Everdeen. They were childhood friends who experienced a great loss in their lives, a loss that devastated them. So it was understandable that they clung to each other for survival and support. But that kind of relationship was based on friendship and it cannot last if one's feelings were stronger than the other. The young man needed to get over himself.

I had a few lovers in my life, but I have loved one man. He was charming, handsome, and captivating. But I knew that his demons haunted him. I would have dedicated to loving him all my life but he was self destructive and damaged. Now we are friends. That is all we could ever be and I have resigned myself to that.

To make matters worse, there was a footage taken of Peeta and Katniss during their date. It was obvious that someone from the staff videotaped them. The tape showed Peeta and Katniss dancing, her arms wrapped his neck while he held her slim waist. They were so oblivious to their surrounding as they danced close, love radiating from their face. It was intimate and personal. I felt as though I was invading their privacy when Peeta leaned down and kissed her. The kiss was erotic as it grew with intensity. A minute later, they broke apart, their foreheads touching as they struggled to catch their breath. They were mesmerizing together. It was hard to ignore or deny the love between them. The world didn't exist as they only had eyes for each other.

"As you can see, our Star Crossed Lover are back, alive, happy and in love," the female reporter gushed as she fanned her face wither hands. "That was hot."

I cursed to myself. Why can't people leave them alone? Haymitch will have a fit once he sees the news. I'll have a lot to explain when we are reunited with them. I predict that he'll be angry, but to see them happy was worth it.

Before I knew it, the clock struck midnight. The trip to the Capitol would take a mere 20 minutes to reach our destination. I knocked on their bedroom door hating to wake them if they fell asleep. "Katniss, Peeta it's time to go," I murmured. I pressed my ear on the wood to ascertain whether they were asleep and needed to be awoken.

"Just remember," she said, her voice soft and low. "We're in this together. I love you, Peeta. Don't ever forget that."

"I love you too, Katniss," he returned. I held my breath and snuck out of the hallway as quietly as I could. They appeared minutes later, dressed in their warm coat and walking hand in hand. I kept my face neutral in hope that I would not burst into tears. Feelings of fear and anxiety caused my stomach to churn. I felt as though I was escorting them back into the Capitol for another Hunger Game. But this time they are together for real and in love. The press were still camped outside. So I snuck them out through the back of my home where Mal met us with a hovercar.

Our journey was short and drama-free as we landed on hoverpad of the building where everyone was staying. No press, media and fans greeted us. It was a relief. Katniss gripped Peeta's hand so tight that her knuckles were white. Peeta didn't complain but leaned over and kissed her cheek. He spoke into her ear so quietly that I couldn't hear what he said. She calmed, nodding her head and smiled back at him. I felt as ease once we walked through the door to be greeted by Haymitch. He looked angry, his lips in a straight line while his eyes bored into mine. It didn't take much to aggravate me especially if you were Haymitch.

"What the fuck were you thinking, Effie," he greeted me with hostility and anger that I scowled at him in return. I knew he'd be angry but I didn't count on him to yell at me just as I walked through the door. He was such a brute and with no manners.

* * *

**Haymitch POV ––**

"Hey." Both Peeta and Katniss screamed at me. I was so livid with Effie that I couldn't control myself. Throughout the day I had visions of Peeta and Katniss abducted and tortured because I couldn't save them and all because Effie was reckless in keeping them safe from the media. I never felt the impulse in hitting a woman in my life due to anger. I was that angry with her.

"Well, hello to you too," she muttered. Katniss stood beside her as Peeta stepped forward blocking my path.

"How could you let them go out like that," I started. I couldn't believe my eyes as I caught the footage on Capitol News Tonight the night before. A District 1 citizen videoed a catfight at an exclusive restaurant, a place I knew Effie frequented. The news struck me as odd to merit airtime and a waste of time until I discovered the reason for the fight. Moreover, what or who they were fighting over. There in the background stood my Peeta and Katniss being whisked away by Effie's personal bodyguard.

When I called to verify the video to Effie, my calls were ignored. It didn't take a genius to confirm my suspicions that what I saw was real. It was Katniss and Peeta out to dinner. Then, another footage was taken of them in an intimate moment. I was horrified to learn that their privacy was invaded once again when someone released the footage of them kissing.

Since then my anger festered and boiled throughout the day as each of my calls was ignored. "They were out with no proper team of bodyguards to watch them, to keep them safe."

"Calm down, Haymitch," Peeta said

"We were safe, Effie made sure of that," Katniss affirmed.

"Don't be mad at her, Haymitch," Peeta defended her. "It was my idea. I asked her to help me––" I ignored him and stepped around to face Effie.

"You endangered their lives with that little stunt––"

"Leave her alone, Haymitch," Katniss barked back. "We knew the risks and––"

"You be quiet, I wasn't talking to you," I sneered back interrupting her.

"Hey, don't talk to either of them like that, if you want to yell at someone, yell at me," Peeta countered. I was so angry I pushed him back when he grabbed my arm. He stumbled backwards. Katniss walked over to him.

"Both of you leave, I want to talk to Effie alone," I demanded as I stepped in front of her.

"No, I'm not leaving," Peeta answered. Suddenly, Delly and Johanna appeared in the room. My loud voice must have awakened them from their sleep. Peet and Kat trailed right behind them.

Wow, it's them," Kat murmured.

"What the hell is going on?" Johanna inquired. She held her trusty knife in her hands. Her eyes grew wide. "Peeta, Katniss, I thought you guys weren't arriving until later this morning." Since Bron's betrayal, she was alert and cautious to our surroundings that she wore her knife everywhere we went. Her knife was hidden and strapped on her bootleg or sheathed on her belt.

"Change of plans," Effie explained. "My home was unbearable with the press outside hovering."

"Everyone please get the out of here," I screamed.

"Abernathy, please lower your voice and we'll talk like two adults instead of––"

"Did you two have a nice date?" Delly whispered to Katniss.

"Oh, honey, you really look so much like him," Kat gushed at her husband. It was chaos in the making. Katniss narrowed her eyes at her double, annoyed at their presence and Kat ogling at Peeta.

"Everyone go back to bed," I yelled louder.

"Ah, maybe now is not a good time to––," Peet returned to his wife. "Maybe we should leave them alone." He grabbed her hand and led them back to their bedroom.

"They're both gorgeous, honey," Kat complimented the real Peeta and Katniss. Their voices faded in the background.

"At least someone listens to me." I said. Johanna scoffed.

"Haymitch, please lower your voice," Effie repeated.

"Lower my voice?" I raised my voice louder. "I so mad I could spit nails. You should know better, Effie. I don't care if they begged you. You should have said no. They were seen in District 1. What if something happened to them?"

"I took all the necessary precautions to keep them safe. They were fine until those two idiots caused a scene," she explained, her manner was cool and nonchalant. It annoyed me.

"You endangered their lives," I screamed. Before I could continue, Peeta turned me around and grabbed me by the collar. I was shocked by his strength as he pinned me against a wall.

"Leave them alone, you don't get to talk to her like that," he spat at my face. I could have pulled him off but I remembered that Peeta was a wrestler. He took down Gale with ease. Katniss already gave me a black eye. I didn't need another one. Also, I didn't like the look in his eyes. If I continued, I could trigger him. I looked at his wristband. It was yellow, the first sign indicating that he could lapse into an episode. I didn't want to be the cause of that. He hasn't had one in weeks.

"Peeta, I––" I calmed myself. His eyes were dazed, his face red. I was scared for him.

"You shut up and listen to me," he sneered. "I asked Effie to help me. I convinced her to let me take out Katniss on a date. She made sure that we were safe. And we were. If you want to get made at someone, you get made at me."

"Peeta, honey," Effie said soothe and calm as she wrapped her hand around his elbow. He released me from his grasp and calm in an instant. "He's mad because he was scared that something could have happened to you and Katniss."

"I don't care, he can get mad all he wants," Peeta returned. "But, he shouldn't treat you this way, yelling and screaming at you and Katniss. It was my idea. My fault."

"He's all bark no bite, Peeta," Effie spoke as she hugged him. "Thank you for defending me, but I can handle him." I harrumphed at her implication. "Everyone head on to bed." Katniss grabbed Peeta's hand.

"Listen, it's too early in the morning to have a shouting match,' Effie reminded us that it was past midnight. "Haymitch and I," she looked at me, "will have this discussion later this morning. We're tired and need sleep."

Peeta and Katniss hugged Delly and Johanna before they went back to bed. "It's good to see you guys," Johanna greeted them.

"We're glad to have you back with us. I'm going to want to hear all the details," Delly snickered as she released Katniss from her embrace.

"She wants to know if you guys had sex already," Johanna supplied. Peeta blushed.

"Johanna, that's––" he started.

"Will all four of you go to bed already." I repeated. Delly and Johanna turned and walked away smirking.

"They did it," Johanna cackled. _They did what?_ I'm too tired and angry to care.

Effie turned to me. "I'm aware that we need to talk but now is now the time, Haymitch."

"Nor was it right for you to yell at her as soon as she walked through the door" Peeta reprimanded me.

"You're right. I'm sorry," I said. "I'm sorry for yelling." I had to make that point clear. "We will discuss this later." I looked at Peeta and Katniss. "Your room is up the stairs. You get the loft." The loft was the largest and best room on the floor. It had the view of the Capitol with the largest floor-to-ceiling windows facing west. They ascended the stairs hand in hand without a backward glance.

"Get some sleep, Haymitch," she said. "We'll talk in the morning." Dissatisfied that I was being dismissed, I grunted and walked back to my room.

The next morning, I woke up face down at the edge of my bed. I had nightmares of Peeta getting abducted again and having to comfort Katniss as she hid inside another air vent. I turned over to be blinded by the sun hitting my face. My head ached, my throat felt parched and my mouth dry. I felt like I had a hangover without the alcohol. The sound of laughter caught my attention. After a quick turn in the bathroom, I went straight to the dining room. The familiar smell of Cheese Buns filled the air. It was good to have Peeta and Katniss back. I missed them. More that I ever thought I would.

Everyone including Kat and Peet were seated at the dining table having breakfast as I walked into the room. They were still in their sleeping clothes. It was a sight I missed since leaving everyone behind at District 4 while Effie and made arrangements in the Capitol for their visit.

"Peeta, these are wonderful," Kat said with a mouthful of his Cheese Bun. I shook my head to remind myself that their doubles were still with us. This was going to be so confusing.

"Thank you," Peeta replied back. "They're my Katniss' favorite." Her reached over and grabbed her hand.

"I can see why," Peet said. "These are awesome and you made them fresh this morning?"

"My Peeta is a baker," Katniss announced with great love and pride on her face. "He's also a great painter."

"You're very lucky, Katniss," Kat stated. "My Peet can't cook to save our lives." She laughed.

"Guilty, so I let her do all the cooking," Peet confirmed. "I'm an actor not a warrior, hero slash baker. But she still loves me."

"Good morning," I announced.

"Hello, Haymitch," everyone greeted me. The love that radiated from my family stunned me. These kids, these broken down, orphaned and damaged kids were a sight to behold. Every single one of them was affected by the games and the war. Each had a tragic story that would haunt them all their lives, but there they were, they survived and clung to each for support. I swore at that moment that they would live a long and happy life with nothing but love and family to surround them, our family. However, there were two people missing, one was Bron but he was removed from our family by his own undoing. I felt Delly's pain and suffering. She loved him so much. Trust was difficult to regain if shattered the way Bron shattered his trust with Delly.

"Where's Effie," I asked. Peeta looked at me. He looked tired. I assumed he started his day early to prepare breakfast for everyone. I was surprised to find him up and about since I heard him yelling and screaming in his room from a nightmare. When it wasn't Peeta it was Johanna next screaming from the top of her lungs calling out for him. By the early morning light all three girls were campout in the living room with Peeta in the middle. I snickered at the image and tried not to think of the lurid thoughts that popped in my head as I watched them sleep clinging to each other for comfort.

"Have a seat, Haymitch," he said. I sat at one end of the table. Breakfast was delicious as Peeta served pancakes, fruit, eggs and bacon. No one answered my question or would volunteer it. As I drank my coffee, Effie appeared dressed and ready for the day.

"Good morning, my dears," she said in her Capitol accent. She was beautiful in her two-piece suit in light pink shade. Her hair was drawn back form her face. She wore little makeup, pink lipstick, rosy cheeks and mascara. I was still angry with her. I resisted the urge to yell at her or kiss her. It was a toss-up.

After everyone went back to bed, I tossed and turned for hour in my bed. I realized that Peeta was right. I had picked the wrong time and had treated Effie horribly. Due to the stress and anxiety that simmered as I waited for Peeta and Katniss' arrival, I knew my real concern was of Peeta's treatments. I had asked Dr. Aurelius what were the methods he developed to _'cure'_ Peeta from his hijacking. He was evasive to my inquiries. I felt as though he was hiding something. I needed the reassurance that nothing was going to happen to him during his treatments. His evasiveness only intensified my fears and doubts. To top it off, I saw the footage of Peeta and Katniss, they caught and discovered in District 1. I was not there to help them had something gone wrong. Privacy was a commodity that neither Peeta nor Katniss would ever have due to their celebrity status in Panem. They were heroes, two young teenagers that rocked Panem and the Capitol to its' knees. Their lives would never be the same.

I took my fears and anger out on Effie, it wasn't fair but it happened.

"Abernathy." She nodded her head. As I was about to address her the doorbell rang. "Are you expecting anyone this morning?" She walked to the front door.

"Hello, Effie." I heard Kara's voice as she greeted her.

I had forgotten that she was coming over for Peeta's routine check up. Nothing serious but to record his vitals, and weight until he started his treatments. He had a weeklong therapy sessions until Dr. Aurelius deemed him fit physically and mentally for the first treatment. Effie greeted her at the door and led her to the dining room where everyone was still having breakfast.

"I know I'm early for Peeta's checkup," she said as she placed her purse down. "I'm here to also see Delly as well." Peeta's eyes grew wide in concern. "Hello, everyone." She greeted them.

"Um…Kat and I will get out of your way and ready for the day," Peet announced. "Haymitch, we'll be in our room. If you need us, just knock on the door." I have to figure out what to do with the actors. They can't stay with us forever.

"Something wrong?" Peeta asked.

"Girl stuff," I answered. I knew when to mind my own business the last time Kara visited.

"Actually since you're all here, I have an announcement to make," Delly said as she stood up. This did not bode well to me. She had just broken off her engagement to Bron. But before my mind could formulate or guess her announcement, she spoke.

"Peeta, Katniss, something happened while you were in District 1," she started. "First I want to say..." Tears formed in her eyes.

"Delly, what's going on?" Peeta queried.

"Are you?" Katniss asked.

"Before I make my announcement you need to know that Bron…was involved…he was sent by Gale to spy on you," she said. Peeta was shocked. I've been more concern about Peeta and Katniss that I had forgotten about Bron and his betrayal.

"What?" Katniss yelled. "What do you mean––"

"He only dated me to spy on you and Katniss?" she sobbed. She had one hand on her stomach while the other wiped tears from her face. There was a moment of silence as Peeta and Katniss absorbed the news. To say they were shocked was an understatement. I still couldn't believe it myself.

"How did you find out?" Peeta inquired. He was quiet and still. But I could see the cogs in his head spinning.

"Doesn't matter how we found out, he confessed that he only wanted to date me because he knew how close I was to you," she continued. "In return he would get a commission in the Guardsmen office."

"So all this time, he's been spying on us." Katniss' demeanor changed from shock to anger.

"No, all the time. Bron claims that he turned down Gale's offer because he fell in love with Delly," I explained. Katniss scoffed. I knew with her background and mistrust with people, she wouldn't believe it.

"So Bron was involved with Gale in the beginning but ended his involvement to spy on us because he fell in love with you," Peeta directed at Delly. She nodded her head as she played with her hands. Peeta noticed the hand with no engagement ring on her finger.

"That's a bunch of bullshit." Johanna intoned.

"Johanna, manners," Effie scolded her.

"Fuck, manners, she hurt Delly with his lies. She fell in love with him and all that time he was lying to her."

"He confessed all of this to you," Peeta concluded.

"Yes, the night we left you at District 1," I added.

"Where is he?" Katniss asked.

"I sent him on another assignment," I answered.

"Good riddance, you should have kicked him to the curb," Johanna suggested.

"He's still useful. I trust him to keep Peeta safe," I said. "Listen, I believe him when he says that he stopped spying on us, that he fell in love with Delly. No one would go to that great lengths…I think he knows that he made a really big mistake."

"He should have told me…us in the beginning. He should have been honest with us," Delly cried. "He would have kept that secret to himself. So many things could have been prevented if he…I love him." Johanna stood up and hugged her. "But how can I trust him now that…"

"Delly, you have to tell them," Johanna encouraged her. She nodded her head at Delly. "Go on." Delly looked at Kara who nodded her head as well.

"I'm pregnant," she announced. She smiled. "I'm seven weeks along."

"Oh my dear," Effie gushed.

"I still haven't told…him. I don't know how to tell him when I've broken our engagement." She sat down her hand covering her stomach. "I don't know if I should tell him."

"Delly, he has the right to know that's he becoming a father," Peeta stated. "I know he betrayed you, lied to you, but I agree with Haymitch. He did love you."

"Peeta, how can you say that?" Katniss asked in shock. "He spied on you…"

"I want to talk to talk to him," he said. His face was still, showing no emotion. "He has to know that he's a father or will be in a few months. It's not right to deny him that."

"Peeta…" Katniss said.

"I know he lied and betrayed Delly…" he continued. "I'm not saying to forgive him…I'm not telling her to take him back, but he is the father of her baby. It's up to Delly how much involvement Bron should have. Bron deserves to know, that's all."

"I'm surprised you didn't fire him, Haymitch," Effie admitted.

"Oh, don't get me wrong, I wanted to beat his ass then fire him," I confessed. "But, he's a good soldier and he still has a job to do."

"I don't trust him," Johanna added.

"You're entitled to your opinions and feelings but I think ultimately, it's up to Delly and Peeta to decide his fate. They're were the ones betrayed." They agreed.

"Peeta, will you come with me?" Delly asked him. "I know that he has to know but I don't want to see him alone."

"You're not alone," he comforted her. "You never will be." He promised her. I cleared my throat to address another matter I needed to talk about, Rory Hawthorne. However, Effie cut me off.

"Kara," she addressed her. "Is there any other particular reason why you here?"

"Besides my routine with Peeta, I want to check up on Delly. She is in the most critical time in her pregnancy," she explained. "There so much stress going on." I'm surprised how calm she has been. "The less stress she has, the less complications she'll have during the pregnancy." Poor Delly, this should have been the happiest moment in her life, looking forward to her wedding and a baby on the way.

"I'm going to be an uncle," Peeta gushed. He smiled at Delly then rushed to her, lifting her in his arms and spinning her around.

"Peeta, stop," Delly giggled as she held onto him. "You're making me dizzy."

"I'm Uncle Peeta." He laughed with such joy we couldn't help but rejoice in his happiness. Delly chuckled while Katniss joined them in their embrace.

"I'm going to be an aunt," Johanna projected. Aunt Johanna? Former Victor Johanna Mason. Miracles do exist. Baby Cartwright was going to have very interesting and legendary relatives.

"We haven't had a group hug in a while," Delly announced as she held out her arms to us. Despite the tragedies that Delly had experienced, she managed to find hope and strength. Her outlook had never been altered or compromised. Effie, Johanna and I joined them. It felt odd without Bron. I guess that was something we all had to get used to.

An hour later I took Effie aside. Johanna, Delly, Katniss and Peeta went up to the roof. Kara did her necessary check up with Peeta and reported that he's healthy and gained 6 pounds. It wasn't what Kara hoped for but good news just the same. To celebrate they dressed into bathing suits and hung out at the pool in the rooftop. It was private and a great place to hang out since it overlooked the view of the city. They looked happy, like teens that should have had a free and uncomplicated life. Their reprieve was temporary we all knew it.

"Just tell me, Effie," I asked. We were alone in the living room. Peet and Kat were released for the day. They were to return when we snuck Peeta at the hospital for his sessions. "Why did you let him out on a date without so much of a full security detail?"

"He asked me, Haymitch," she answered. "I didn't agree at first but––"

"They were spotted, Effie," I barked. "Their privates moments were recorded and broadcast all over Panem.

"Are you going to let me explain or are you going to just yell at me?" she asked. I shut my mouth. I felt better after a cup of coffee and a Cheese Bun. However, my head still ached.

"You have to understand why, I agreed," she explained further. "Do you have any idea, Haymitch that Peeta doesn't expect to survive his treatments?" I was shocked.

"What?"

"Peeta feels that he needed to take Katniss out on a date incase…incase he died during the procedure," she sobbed. "He's been dreaming on taking Katniss out for a long time and…he wanted…I didn't have the heart to refuse him. What if he's right?"

"No, he not. Nothing is going to happen to him," I said. "Has Kara or Dr. Aurelius said anything to you…about the treatments, something we don't know about?"

"No, but maybe Peeta knows more than he's letting on," she continued. "What if…Haymitch, nothing can happened to him. He's Peeta…and Katniss would never recover if something happened to him."

"Nothing is going to happen to him, Effie." I tried to assure her. I'm at a loss. I didn't realize that he felt that way…that he wouldn't survive his treatments. Now I'm concerned because if his treatments are dangerous, I'm against it. I would rather let Peeta live wearing the band for the rest of his life and not gamble his life over a never proven procedure. Could this be the reason why Aurelius was evasive?

"You don't know that," she said as she wiped tears from her eyes. "That's why I permitted him to have his date with Katniss. I wanted him to see that there is hope…something for him to fight for. I'm scared that he's giving up after everything he's been through. You should have seen him, Haymitch. He looked so sad and resigned…like he wasn't expecting to survive…I don't like him giving up." I envisioned his date. Peeta would have planned everything to make Katniss happy. The boy was a romantic that it bordered on sappy. But he was Peeta, I could never expect no less from him when it came to his adoration and devotion to Katniss.

"At least, they had Mal with them. I was glad to see him there," I admitted. Mal would have given his life for them. I was sure of it. He was worth ten bodyguards.

"He would never let anything happen to them," she said. "I trusted him with their lives. As for assigning more bodyguards that would have attracted more attention. And I wanted Peeta and Katniss' date to be as normal as possible."

"I understand, Effie," I said. "It was unfortunate that the servers started a fight attracting unwanted attention. Other than that, they would have slipped unnoticed." And the recording of their kiss was caught on tape.

"Everything was perfect. You should have seen them all dressed up, happy and so in love. Their date was perfection to the tiniest detail. As for the catfight, that had been the most hilarious thing I've ever seen," Effie guffawed. "They were fighting over Peeta's dinner napkin."

Now I understood her part and reasoning to have taken such a risk. I should have trusted Effie. She would never let anything happen to him and her efforts was based on love for Peeta and Katniss; their happiness meant something to her. And, after watching Peeta and Katniss since their return, I couldn't deny him anything. He suffered so much, they both had. I just never anticipated his fears and doubts over the treatments for he had never mentioned them.

The next couple of days were uneventful. Everyone was on edge staying indoors. We couldn't risk taking Peeta and Katniss out into the city unless necessary. It was utter chaos outside our building as the media as press continued to hound them. Kat and Peet were able to sneak out through a maintenance entryway avoiding the fiasco. They would return when needed.

Caesar Flickerman called several times for an interview. He wanted to know the real reason why Katniss and Peeta had returned to the Capitol. Rumors and a lot of gossip were rampant. The Star Crossed Lovers were sighted throughout the city. My actors / doubles were at work deceiving the Capitolites by showing up at places causing the press and media to chase after them in a while goose chase. The gossip ranged from secret meetings with Paylor to restart a new Hunger Games to Effie preparing their upcoming nuptials. My optimism for giving them some peace and quiet was unrealistic. On the third morning of our visit, we received a frantic call from Kat / Julia, Katniss' double.

"What? Slow down, Kat," Johanna said as she answered the phone. Her face turned white as a sheet. She listed for a few minutes then hung up the phone. "That was Kat…I mean Julia. She's in the hospital."

"What happened?" I asked. Peeta, Katniss and Delly stood up from the sofa where they were reclining reading the latest gossip from a magazine about the Star Crossed Lovers. It reported that Katniss was 2 months pregnant with Peeta's baby. Dr. Kara Templeton, a close family friend and personal Peeta's personal physician was seen leaving the building proving that she was pregnant. Someone from the hospital confirmed that a Delly Cartwright was scheduled for an appointment in the pre-natal unit. It was hilarious to discover that the media believed that Delly whose name was used to conceal the appointment was really for Katniss. Using Delly was a ruse to hide the pregnancy and trick the media. Her supposed pregnancy was the talk of the town. Even President Paylor and Katniss' mother called to verify the validity of the rumor. The gossip made news for the last two days.

If they only knew who was really pregnant. Delly laughed then burst into tears. All morning she suffered morning sickness and her emotions were all over the place. She missed Bron but never mentioned his name. She had an appointment later this afternoon for a full check up.

"Peet was taken to the hospital last night. They were attacked in their home," she explained. After a few minutes of shock, as I expected, Peeta first spoke. I knew what everyone was suspecting but couldn't voice.

"I need to see him, Haymitch," he said. There was a mixture of anger and sadness on his face. "I need to know that he's okay."

"Peeta, I don't think that's a good idea," I said.

"He's in the hospital because of me," he concluded. "It's my fault."

"You don't know that," I responded. "Don't jump to conclusions, Peeta. We don't even know the facts yet."

"That's why I need to see him."

"I'll go and find out what happened," Johanna volunteered.

"I'll go with you since I have an appointment anyway," Delly added.

"No," Peeta shook his head. "You two are not going alone. If you go, we all go. We're safer together, we need to stick together."

"Peeta's right," Katniss added. "We need to find out what happened to…Peet."

"This stinks of Hawthorne," Johanna said in derision. Everyone couldn't or didn't want to mention his name, but Johanna had no problem. She voiced what we suspected. It was too coincidental with the footage of them kissing in District 1. It could only have been Gale who attacked Peet.

With Peeta's session coming up and Delly's pregnancy, everyone was anxious and nerves were raw. We couldn't handle any more surprises when the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it." Effie volunteered.

Delly gasped, Johanna sneered while Katniss looked shocked. Bron walked in with his visitor in handcuffs. Our day couldn't get any worse than this.

**_AN: Thank you for reading this chapter and also for your patience. Have a great weekend._**


	42. Chapter 42 - Thunderstorms and Lightning

Chapter 42 – Thunderstorms and Lightning

_AN: Thanks to my reviewers [Matainer, Trude, LACR, Yepperz, Tea4e, Hungergamesguru and guests]. Lol I enjoyed reading all your comments. It's good to back to our regular programming. As usual, all rights and characters belong to Suzanne Collins. _

* * *

**Katniss POV ––**

"Rory?" I said in shock.

To say I was shocked to see Bron standing along side Rory Hawthorne in handcuffs was an understatement. I haven't seen Gales' younger brother since District 13. He's grown taller and broader looking just like his older brother. If they had stood together you could have sworn they were twins. But Rory's eyes were the look of a young boy behind the teen I once remembered. He appeared scared, vulnerable with a hint of defiance. I couldn't reconcile the teen wearing the Guardsmen uniform from the little boy back in District 12. So much has happened in a year. Seeing him reminded me of Prim and an ache balled in my stomach. I wasn't happy to see Bron and who had crossed the threshold.

"Hey, everyone," he said but his eyes were glued to Delly.

"What the fuck, Bron?" Johanna yelled. She glared at him with fire and anger.

"What's gong on?" Haymitch asked. The hostility in their eyes was palpable.

"Bron, why is he in handcuffs" I asked. Questions flew but were unanswered as Bron's attention was on his former fiancé.

"Well, this is an awkward moment," Effie voiced.

"You think? Bron, why in the world did you bring him here?" Haymitch queried, stepping in front of him to block his view on Delly. He looked unsurprised by Rory's appearance. Bron ignored him as his eyes were still locked on her. She had her eyes down and away looking at Peeta. The sight of Peeta standing next to her caused Bron to falter and address Haymitch.

"I'm sorry but I found him sneaking around the building trying to get in." he explained.

"You got a lot of balls––"

"Johanna, manners," Effie interjected.

"Will someone please explain why Bron has Rory in handcuffs?" I implored. _'Was it too much to ask for a quiet morning,' _I said to myself. First it was Haymitch yelling at us now this.

"I told you to find him and let me know what he' up to. Not bring him in." Haymitch added. So he knew about Rory my mind concluded.

"He broke through security and I didn't know what to do so I brought him in," Bron explained.

"Haymitch, I don't have time for this," Peeta said. "I'm going to the hospital to check on Peet."

"I'm coming with you," Delly said. I was torn whether to go with Peeta or stay to get an explanation from Haymitch. But I knew that I couldn't be separated from Peeta no matter how curious I was with Rory's appearance.

"I don't want to be here," Peeta said. He looked tense as he kept his eyes away from Rory. "I need to see Peet and Kat." I grabbed his hands. They were trembling. I recognized his uneasiness and shock. I needed him to get away from here. Peeta was my first priority.

"Bron, why don't you watch and stay here with Rory," Haymitch said. "I can't do this right now."

"Mr. Abernathy, please hear me out?" Rory sounded.

"We don't have time for this." Haymitch uttered to no one in particular. "We have other pressing matters to attend to."

"What's wrong?" Bron asked.

"Kat called. Peet was attacked and it doesn't take a genius to know who did it," Johanna sneered at Rory. Rory with his height and build looked scared at Johanna as he shrank away from her. She grabbed onto Peeta's elbow leading towards the door. "Come on, Peeta." She too noticed Peeta's discomfort. "Let's leave before I throw my axe at someone."

"Mr. Abernathy, please I need to talk to you…and Peeta," Rory pleaded. "I've been trying to talk to you for days now." He took a step towards Peeta. "Peeta, I don't know if you remembered me."

"I don't––" Peeta said. "Haymitch…get him out of my sight." He looked panicked and scared.

"Not now, Rory," Haymitch said as he followed Johanna, Delly, Peeta and me as we headed towards the door.

"But Mr. Abernathy––" Rory implored.

"Not now Hawthorne," Haymitch's voice boomed in the air. Then, he took a deep breath to calm himself. "Effie, can you stay with Rory and Bron?"

"Of course," Effie agreed.

"I'm sorry, Haymitch," Bron said as we walked out of the penthouse.

The ride to the hospital was tense. I held on to Peeta's hand. His brow was furrowed as he looked out the window, his head leaning on the pane. "Peeta?" I asked squeezing his hand. He was physically and mentally pulling away from me. I didn't like it. His eyes were dazed, focused on the horizon. Rory's presence shocked and startled him. His breath was choppy like he was struggling to breathe.

"Peeta, are you okay?" I asked. Silence. "Please talk to me, you're scaring me."

"For a moment, I thought it was him…I thought it was––"

"I know honey," I said as I pulled him towards me wrapping my arm around his waist. I placed my head on his shoulder. "But it wasn't him…it was Rory. You remember Rory?" He nodded his head acknowledging our presence. Johanna and Haymitch were at the front of the hover car. I was sandwiched between Delly and Peeta. We took the risk of not having the Guardsmen follow behind us. Their presence would catch everyone's attention. We hoped we could sneak our way into the medical facility where Kat and Peet were located.

"Why is…Hawthorne's brother with Bron, Haymitch?" Delly asked. She was wringing her fingers. I understood how Bron's sudden appearance upset her. Her face was pale. I've been sick with worry over Peeta that I ignored Delly's discomfort of Bron appearance. It broke my heart to see her struggling with her pregnancy and his betrayal.

"Let's not talk about him right now," Haymitch answered as he looked on his rear view mirror noticing Peeta's reaction. I could tell that he too was worried.

"Bron should know better than bringing him at the penthouse," Johanna stated. "What was he thinking?" She was angry. I didn't know what the hell was going on but I knew now was not the time to discuss Rory.

"Can we not talk about that right now?" Peeta said. He had his eye closed. "I'm worried about Peet and Kat. I don't want to talk about him."

"Sorry, Peeta," Johanna said. "I just can't understand what he's doing with him."

"Johanna, please," I pleaded. "Now is not the time. There's too much going on right now."

"I can't focus on him right now," Peeta added. "I want to know what happened to…Peet. Who attacked him?"

"Don't worry kid," Haymitch said. "We'll be there soon and get some answers."

The hospital staff were accommodating as we were led to Peet's room. Kat was beside herself when she saw us. She looked as though she hasn't slept a week. Her dress wrinkled and makeup smudged. She couldn't take her eyes off Peet even as Peeta walked into the room. I stared at her husband, happy that my Peeta wasn't lying there in his place. My Peeta has seen the inside of too many hospitals for too many injuries and abuse. Any hospital didn't hold any good memories for me. I could attest that Peeta felt the same way.

Peet was beaten, his eyes swollen, nose broken and lips puffy. An angry red cut marred his upper lip. There was a cast on his left leg and right arm. I could see the bandage around his ribs. It's no wonder he was still alive from the beating. He was beaten to a point that Peet was unrecognizable.

"What happened Kat?" Haymitch asked as Kat hugged him. She cried on his shirt for several minutes. Peeta's grip on my hand tightened. I squeezed his hand back letting him know I was with him.

"I went out with some of my girlfriends for dinner," she sobbed. "I wanted to stay with him but Peet convinced me to have my girl's night out. He didn't want me to stop socializing with my girlfriends just because we got married. So I left him." Peeta let go of my hand and walked over to Peet's bed staring at him.

"When I got back, the house was in ruins, furniture everywhere, broken and scattered."

She stopped and took Peet's hand into hers. "I found him, bleeding and broken in our bedroom. I thought he was dead."

"So you didn't see who did this to him?" Peeta said. She shook her head and looked up. Once she laid her eyes on Peeta she burst into tears again.

"No, so I called for help. As they were loading him on the gurney, he grabbed my hand and gasped one word," she sobbed, struggling to complete her sentences.

"What did you he say?" I asked hoping to confirm our suspicions. We knew it could only be one person. We needed hard irrefutable facts in order to prove his guilt. Eva's word was unreliable. A doctor can claim she's mentally unstable.

"Hawthorne, he said Hawthorne."

"Are you sure? Are you sure he said Hawthorne?" Haymitch queried. I closed my eyes in resignation. Gale has now gone too far. Why would he beat up Peet? He had to realize that it wasn't my Peeta. He beat up an innocent man who looked like my boyfriend. I don't know how I would have reacted if it was my Peeta lying there.

"I don't understand why he'd beat up Peet," she cried. "He never met him, we don't even know him."

"I'm sorry, Kat," Peeta spoke. "This is my fault, he's after me and…I guess since Peet looks like me and he…took it out on him."

"It's not your fault," Delly said.

"She's right, Peeta," Johanna added. "This is Gale…he's a coward. He couldn't get to you so he beat up the next best thing." My Peeta was unconvinced. He handled and took things to heart. So, for someone to get hurt because of him, he would assume the responsibility and blame.

"Hey, kid," Haymitch asserted. "You can't blame yourself for Hawthorne's action. He's sick…and with sick people like that, you can't help them. You can't take responsibility for his actions. He's been obsessed with you for some time. But you got to realize…that this is it. He made a huge mistake."

"Peet is alive and he identified Hawthorne," Johanna added. "There is no way that this can be denied." It was true, this was the first break we needed to accuse and convict Gale.

"He meant for Peet to die," Kat said. "The doctors said that it was miracle that he's still alive."

"So what's the prognosis?" Delly asked. She was in her nurse mode accessing Peet's condition.

"He was beat up so bad on the head that the doctor had to put him in a medically induced coma," she sobbed. "It's going to take days for his head injury…the swelling to subside."

Delly took his chart and started to read. "Broken leg and arm, shattered clavicle, puncture lung…he really did a number on him." She winced as she read further. "Bruised testicles."

The list went on with internal bleeding and bruised kidney. I looked at Peeta his hands were clenched on his side. Johanna was seething in anger. "Kat, he's going to pay for what he's done to Peet," Johanna vowed.

"I just want him to be okay…to get better…I don't know what to do without him," she sobbed. I understood her fear. If this had happened to my Peeta…I would hunt Gale down and draw an arrow though his eye. _'Gale will never lay a hand on Peeta.'_ I vowed to myself. _'I'll kill him first.'_

His doctor came to check up on him. Peet was attached to a ventilator to help him breath. The next few hours were critical and if he couldn't breath on his own, his recovery was long and not promising. During that time, Bron checked in and spoke to Haymitch. Peeta remained quiet and stuck close to Kat for comfort. This was the side of Peeta that I loved. He was caring and sweet to everyone around him. I tried to contain my jealousy when he comforted her since I knew he was mine. But there was a side of me that was insecure and felt undeserving of his love and devotion. But being Peeta who was aware of everyone, he took me aside.

"I don't know what I would do if this happened to you," he said. "My life starts and ends with you." He leaned down and kissed me, chaste and sweet. I wanted more, needed more but it was not the place or time. Someone else needed his support and comfort. I could share him with Kat for a while. For I knew whose heart he belonged to.

We stayed and kept Kat company for several hours. By dinnertime, Peet's vitals stabilized. He was breathing on his own. His recovery would be long and slow. Haymitch arranged a Guardsmen to watch over Peet and Kat. Someone Bron had recommended. We came back to the penthouse tired and weary. It had been a long day. I undressed Peeta down to his boxer shorts. I slipped into bed beside him wearing a t-shirt and shorts. It felt good lying next to him, hearing his heartbeat beating on his chest. He was safe in my arms. I couldn't erase the images of Peet lying on a bed with machines attached to him. I had to remind myself that my Peeta was healthy, and not lying in a hospital bed. Poor Kat.

So it came to no surprise that I had a nightmare of Gale beating Peeta to death. The sight of Peet lying in his bed, broken and close to death shattered me. Imprinting the image in my mind that every time I closed my eyes it was all I saw.

"I'm here Katniss, alive and with you," he whispered in my ear. I shook and trembled while he held me in his arms. It was comforting leaning against him, his skin warm. To think that I was scared of this intimacy, too scared to love Peeta because I was afraid I'd become my mother. Without knowing it I became my mother anyway when the Capitol captured him. I could never take back the things I did or said when he was rescued and returned to 13. I could only move forward and love him the way he deserved to be loved. Not that we had a choice. Peeta and I found our way back to each even when we were resistant to it. We were fated, we belonged to each other no matter what we did or tried to stay away from each other. I won't fight fate. I surrendered willingly.

* * *

The next day, we were lounging in the living room when Haymitch and Bron approached Peeta. "Peeta, I need to talk to you and Katniss," he said.

"Is thing have anything to do with Rory?" Peeta asked.

"Where is he?" I asked with my curiosity piqued. Why was he here asking for Peeta?

"He wants to talk to you," Haymitch said. He looked tired like someone hadn't slept the night before.

"I don't know, Haymitch," Peeta answered. "When I look at him I see…Gale…he looks so much like him." I was about to deny his request since I knew that seeing Rory would trigger Peeta into an episode. I couldn't risk it. I couldn't risk him to such exposure.

"It's important, Peeta, or else I wouldn't ask," Haymitch insisted. "Listen, if you feel uncomfortable, Katniss and whoever who want can be there. You know, for moral support."

"I want to talk to Bron first," Peeta demanded. "I know that Delly needs to speak to him and I want to be there for her."

"Okay, when?"

"In an hour, so I can prepare Delly," Peeta recommended.

"Is she ready to see him?" Haymitch asked.

"It's now or never," Peeta answered. He squeezed my hand asking me in silence for his support. I squeezed his hand back in response.

"Are you sure you want to do this…see Rory…and talk to Bron?" I was scared for him. If I felt this way I could only imagine how Peeta must feel.

"As long as you're with me, I couldn't never do this without you."

"I wouldn't want you to," I replied. "I'm not going anywhere."

An hour later, Delly held Peeta's hand when Bron walked into the room. Bron wore his uniform. He looked tired, worn out like a man missing a part of him. His heart.

"Bron," Peeta greeted him with no emotion on his face. Delly's face was white as a sheet. Her grip was tight on Peeta's hand that her knuckles were white. Johanna, Effie and Haymitch were elsewhere with Rory leaving us alone to confront Bron.

"Peeta…I..." Bron stumbled with his words.

"I trusted you," Peeta began, his voice calm and firm. "I thought I saw something in you, someone worthy for Delly." He raised his hand as Bron tried to interrupt him. "There are a few people I trusted in this world. Delly was first person I ever trusted…I hadn't much luck with the women in my life. I loved my mom and she resented me. I couldn't understand it at first but I understood her bitterness since my father placed her second in his life. I swore I would never do that to the people I love." He stood up and walked to the window overseeing the view of the city.

"I never had much luck with love either." He closed his eyes. "But I got lucky because I got to love four beautiful and amazing women in my life. Delly was the first girl I ever loved like family. I loved Delly not like a sister because saying that would insult and diminish her love for me. I never had a sister. But she's…family. I love her but not like the way I love Katniss" He turned around and looked at Delly. She smiled at him as tears tracked down her cheeks.

"But Delly was…sweet and understood whom I loved foremost. Katniss, it was always Katniss I loved most in the world. So I prayed and hoped that Delly would find someone who was worthy and lucky to be loved by her. I thought that was you." I noticed that he clenched and unclenched his hands. I knew he was trying to control his emotions…anger, frustration and sadness. "I encouraged her, to let you into her life. Was I wrong to have trusted you, Bron?"

"No, you weren't wrong, Peeta. I swear you're not wrong," Bron responded. "I made a huge mistake…I should have come clean…when I ended things with Gale. But I was scared." Delly remained quiet, her head down as she continued to cry. "I didn't want to lose you, Delly." He started towards but she stood up and walked to Peeta.

"Don't," she sobbed as she hugged Peeta.

"I know you love Delly," Peeta admitted. "I can see it, how much you love her. I don't see how she can forgive you for keeping your involvement with Gale a secret. We...trusted you…I trusted you with Delly and you betrayed her."

"I know, I know and I'm sorry. I don't know how I can make it up to you," Bron said, anguish and frustration evident in his voice and posture. "Please give me a chance to prove to you that I didn't mean to hurt you…any of you."

"Save your apologies," Peeta said. "You hurt Delly the most. She loved you. It's up to her to forgive you."

"Peeta, he betrayed you too," Delly reminded him. "If it wasn't for him…he should have told us from the beginning that Gale was out to hurt you. So much hurt could have been prevented." She felt the shame and guilt for admitting Bron into his life even with Peeta's encouragement.

"I encouraged you," Peeta mentioned. It was amazing how much his thoughts reflected mine; like our minds were linked with each other. "I believed in him. This is much my fault… I encouraged you to date him." I was about to argue with him but Delly beat me to it.

"Don't you dare, Peeta. Don't you dare make this your fault…this is all on Bron. He did this to us," Delly spoke with such vehemence as she stared into his eyes, not towards Peeta but his ability to add the burden on his shoulders. She placed his head on his shoulder. I flinched as I tried to contain the jealousy I felt towards Delly laying her head on my spot. I needed to focus on what's in front of me.

"Delly's right," I reiterate. No boyfriend of mine was going to take the burden for Bron's decisions and actions. It's so like Peeta to do so and I loved him more for it. Delly cried in his arms. I sighed realizing that I better get used to women crying and seeking comfort from him, especially Delly, Johanna and Effie. Giving comfort to strangers like Kat. They were a permanent fixture in his life. I had to learn to share him. Just as I long that I have his heart I could live with that. I looked at Peeta as he held her. He had his arms around her, comforting and soothing her. He was so sweet and gentle with her. Bron had a look of pain, anger and envy on his face. Peeta whispered in Delly's ear. She nodded her head.

"Bron, there is something I need to tell you," she started. She placed a delicate hand on her stomach. "It doesn't change how I feel about you. We're done, over with and you have to live with that."

"I understand," Bron said, his facial expression was of defeat and sadness. I had no pity for him since he had done this to himself and had no one to blame.

"I don't think you do. If I had my choice I would never want to see you again but Peeta…he believed that things happens for a reason…you deserve, you deserve to know." She looked at Peeta who nodded his head. "I'm pregnant."

Bron was shocked at first but his next reaction turned to anger. "Is it mine?" he sneered at her.

"What the fuck, Bron?" Delly screamed at him. "I haven't been with anyone but you––"

"It could be Peeta's as far as I know––" _How dare he_? Peeta was about to walk towards him; his right hand formed a fist. I reached Bron first and slugged him, hard that his head twisted from the impact. First Haymitch, now Bron. My hand felt sore from the punch to his nose. _Why are men such idiots?_

Delly sobbed and cried into Peeta's chest as he held her. "Bron, how could you accuse Delly and Peeta…he's in love with me?"

"Yeah, well how would you like it if you're fiancé first love was Peeta Mellark, her best friend. I can't compete with that," he admitted. I never realized his insecurity and envy ran deep. But I couldn't blame him since Delly once admitted her love for Peeta.

"You're an idiot," I sneered at him. "It's no wonder she won't take you back."

"I'm sorry, Delly," Bron repented. "I'm just so frustrated and angry with myself. I didn't mean to accuse you and Peeta…that you two were…"

"But you did," she screamed. "How could you think that Peeta and I would do that to you and Katniss?" She ran out of the room. He attempted to run after her but Peeta blocked his way.

"I'm sorry, Delly please––" He yelled after her.

"You need to leave her alone. Give her some space and find a way to fix what you broke," Peeta suggested. "You're going to be a father in a few months. You are going to be tied together through this child you created. What you did just now just add more injury to what you had. Your accusation was beyond insulting."

"Peeta, I'm sorry…I didn't meant to accuse you and Delly––"

"But you did," Peeta said. "I know you're frustrated but to accuse me and Delly when you know that the only person I have ever been in love with is Katniss. She loved _you_. You meant to hurt her when you said that. It was mean and cruel." I admired Peeta's calm demeanor but underneath his cool exterior I felt his anger at Bron for hurting Delly. I couldn't contain my anger like Peeta.

"I'm gong to ask you one question, Bron," Peeta declared. "And I want you to tell me honestly. Do you love Delly?"

"With all my heart," he answered quick and decisive. He didn't hesitate. "I'd die for her and our baby." Peeta looked at him, eye to eye. He gave him a look that could stare a man down to his knees.

"I believe you," Peeta returned. "You have a few months to figure out a way back into her life and your baby's life. Delly loves you…I have no doubt about it or else she wouldn't be torn up over your broken engagement. Find a way to fix things between you." I looked at Peeta in shock. He was encouraging Bron to mend their relationship. I was stunned at his forgiving nature and generous heart. I wondered if Delly was receptive to forgiving Bron just as Peeta had forgiven him for his betrayal. "But if Delly can't then you need to live with the decision she makes regarding your relationship with her and your baby."

"You've forgiven me?" Bron wondered.

"It's not my forgiveness you should worry about," Peeta said. "Delly should be your first priority. Her and the baby." Peeta looked at Bron with steel in his eyes. "You are lucky man, Bron. You had everything in your grasp and you blew it. You had love, friends and family." I noticed his use of _'had'_ in his sentence. It was true that he and Delly had everything people dreamed of without the traumas that Peet and I endured to get where are now. It made me appreciate us. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to make sure Delly is okay." He left without a backwards glance leaving me alone with Bron.

Bron eyed me with trepidation and caution. He should. We will never know if all of what Peeta experienced because of Gale and Eva could have been prevented. Hindsight is such a bitch.

"Do you realize how lucky you are?" I asked him. My arms were crossed. I held them close so I wouldn't be attempted to slug him again. I wanted to knee him on the balls for getting Delly pregnant, but who was I to judge? His betrayal ended their relationship but the child they created tied them together. A child should never suffer the mistakes of his or hers parents.

He nodded his head. "I don't think you understand. If it wasn't for Peeta and Delly, Johanna and I would have you tied to a tree while we take target practice." He swallowed as I noticed his throat working overtime. Sweat beaded his forehead. "You see, Peeta and Delly they're very forgiving and generous people. Johanna and I, not so like them especially when the people we love get hurt or betrayed by the people we trusted. So I'll say this once and you'll keep in mind to remember it. You hurt them in any way with a hurtful look or word. You'll get very acquainted with my arrow and Johanna's best friend. So tread lightly and watch what you say and do."

"I'm sorry Katniss." I waved off his apology.

"Peeta's right, this child you created together has tied you to each other for the rest of your life," I said. "If I was Delly, I would never forgive you let alone keep you in my life child or not. Especially after the way you accused her of sleeping with Peeta and having his child." He winced. "Get over yourself and find a way to be the man Delly needs for her and your baby."

"Will she ever forgive me and take me back?" he asked. "I love her…I really do love her." I saw the sincerity in his words.

"Maybe in time she'll forgive you," I answered. Like Peeta, she will forgive him. I knew her well enough. There wasn't an ounce of cruelty or meanness in Delly and Peeta. It often made me wonder how they never got together. Thank god, that Peeta loved me so much to forgive me of my transgressions. It took me longer to forgive him for coming back wrong. It was unfair of me to have treated him the way I did when he came back. His hijacking wasn't his fault. I could have handled it better. But I never had been in love before. Being in love with someone was a foreign concept to me. I'm grateful that he given me a second, third or fourth chance.

"As for taking you back, that I can't honestly answer." I couldn't answer for Delly. That was her right. I left Bron in the living room looking for my boyfriend. I felt a tingle go up my spine, Peeta Mellark, my boyfriend. Who would have thought? Prim would be so proud of me. Just the thought made me burst for joy. So I tried not to react when I saw Delly clinging to Peeta. Her arms wrapped around him. She was crying as he spoke to her with words of comfort and support.

As I watched them, I realized they look good together; with their blond hair and blue eyes they made a cute couple. It made me wonder how people perceived Peeta and me. We've only been apart for a few minutes and I missed him already. _'You're a very lucky girl,' _Kara once said to me.

I'll never forget our date night. The thought of that night sent a shiver all over me. I truly am a very lucky girl.

"You're going to be a great mom, Delly," Peeta commented. "I can't wait to see mini Delly running around. She's going to be adorable and just as sweet as her momma."

"It might be a boy, Peeta," she said as she wiped her eyes. "What if he looks exactly like Bron? I'm never going to forget or get over him. How am I going to do this without him? I can't do this on my own."

"Hey," Peeta yelped. "You're not alone, okay? You got me, Katniss, Johanna, Effie and Haymitch. As for Bron, it's too soon to talk about him. You need to concentrate on yourself and the baby."

"What happened? What did the asshole do now?" Johanna appeared, her face flushed with anger as she entered the room.

"I'm all right, Johanna," Delly assured her.

"Then why are you crying?"

"I don't know what's wrong with me," she admitted. "I'm fine one minute then next I'm…crying."

"Oh for crying out loud, Delly," Johanna spoke, her eyes twinkled with mischief. "You're pregnant. You're emotions is going to be all over the place. If you think this is bad now wait until your 20 pounds heavy and yelling and screaming at us. I bet you're horny too." She winked at her. Peeta jumped away from Delly.

"Too much information," Peeta said as he rubbed the back of his neck. His face was red. I laughed at his uneasiness. He was happy and sad for Delly.

"I miss him so much…I want him…I'm mad at him." Delly babbled. Then she burst into tears again.

"Delly?" Peeta asked.

"Please forgive me," she whined. "I can't help myself." She turned and grabbed Peeta around his waist and continued to cry all over his shirt. Peeta looked helpless and uncomfortable. "Why did he…he's a jerk…asshole…I hate him."

"I'm sorry, Delly" Peeta said, his voice so low and soft. He ran his hand up and down her back. "I'm sorry he hurt you."

"Why can't they…guys be more like you?" She looked up and met his eyes.

"I'm far from perfect, Delly." He shrugged his shoulders.

"You are to me," I said. No, he wasn't perfect but I wanted him anyway I could have him, scared mentally and physically. He was beautiful to me. Delly clung to him making me feel uneasy.

"Come on, Delly," Johanna said. "Haymitch needs to talk to Peeta." She dragged her away from Peeta. I sighed in relief. As much as I trust Delly, a part of me felt insecure over any woman whom Peeta came in contact with. Now that he is mine, I'm more possessive than ever.

The minute Haymitch walked into the room, Peeta's posture tensed up. Along side him walked Rory. He was dressed in a simple light blue shirt and dark brown pants. It was smart of Haymitch to have Rory change his clothes since he looked so much like Gale when he wore his uniform. I grabbed Peeta's hand for support. I led him to sit beside me on a sofa. His head was down as he stared at the floor in front of him. It was inevitable for us to talk to Rory. Whatever he had to say was important. It was important enough to risk triggering Peeta.

"Peeta, Katniss, I know that there will never be a good time for this but…" Haymitch addressed us. "I think that you need to hear what young Hawthorne has to say. But before he talks to you, you need to know that Rory has been trying to get a hold of me since I arrived in the Capitol. He insisted in wanting to talk to Peeta. I didn't know why so I sent Bron to follow him. Bron found him while you were in District 1. He's been following you there."

"Why were you following us?" Peeta asked.

"Mr. Abernathy refused to talk to me so when I heard that there were sightings of you and Katniss in District 1. I took my chance so I could to talk to you,"

"Why Rory?" I inquired.

"Katniss, I––" Rory started.

"Why do you need to talk to Peeta," I asked. "Did Gale send you?"

"No he didn't…I'm sorry," he said. "I don't know…where to start…"

"What is it, Rory?" I asked again. My patience was running thin.

"Gale told me to stalk Peeta while you were in District 12. He told me that Peeta was dangerous. Gale wanted me to…trigger him…to prove that he was dangerous. Not just to you but to everyone."

"That son of a bitch––" Haymitch roared.

"I didn't want to…but he's my brother, Katniss. He was your best friend and...he said that you're relationship with Peeta was fake. Gale was only looking out for you. He said that you felt sorry for Peeta. He was convinced that if he had an episode, you'd realize that you shouldn't be with him."

"And who should I be with, Rory?" I sneered. "Did Gale tell you that I should be with him?" He nodded his head.

"I saw you together in District 13," Rory reminded me. Peeta shook his hand away from me and stood up. He walked towards the window. "We all thought that you were together." My throat tightened as I tried not to get angry at Rory's assumptions. I did turn to Gale for comfort and support. Everyone perceived that we were together after the way I clung to him. I chose to be with Gale instead of helping Peeta. I abandoned him when I thought I had lost him forever due to his hijacking. My mistakes will haunt me forever.

"I don't have to explain my relationship with Gale to you, Rory," I said. "But I can assure you that he has always been my friend. Nothing more. What I don't understand is how you could hurt Peeta when you don't even know him."

"I love my brother, Katniss," he explained. "I would have done anything for him…I…I wanted to impress him."

"So you decided to impress him by…stalking Peeta," Haymitch concluded. "Spy on him and Katniss?" Rory nodded his head.

"I didn't meant to hurt you, Peeta," Rory said while he stared at Peeta's back. "I only meant to hit your fake leg…when the rifle––"

"You're the one who shot him," I roared in anger. "How could you, Rory? He's never done anything to you." I stood up and slapped him. My hand was in agony from slugging Bron then slapping Rory. So I pushed him hard on the chest. "You could have killed him." I remembered that day. It was a memory I'll never forget as I watched him bleed in front of me. I thought I had lost him. Haymitch intercepted my next move as I shoved Rory some more. He wrapped his arms around my waist preventing me from striking Rory again.

"What else have you done?" I screamed at him. I'm so angry I'm closed to tears. "What else did you do?" Haymitch held on to me as I struggled to free myself from his grasp.

"I'm sorry, Katniss," he repented. "I only meant to scare him…"

"You could have killed him," I screamed. "He could have died just so you could impress Gale. How could you, Rory?" I'm too shocked and angry to notice Johanna and Delly appearing in the room.

"What else have you done, Rory," Haymitch asked. "You might as well tell us everything."

"What else did you do?" I asked as rage and fury filled my gut and tightened my throat.

"I…drugged him during the anniversary celebration in 12…"

"What? Did he just say––" Delly gasped in shock as Rory continued.

"I handed him over to Eva, and I was the one who burned his house." he confessed. He had the nerve to look guilty and ashamed of himself.

"You mother fucker," Johanna yelled as I gasped in horror. "She hurt him…you fucking asshole. She…she…assaulted him." Peeta remained quiet by the window. His calm and quiet demeanor scared me. He only reacted when Johanna went after Rory.

"Johanna, stop," he demanded from her as he held her by the waist.

"Let of go of me Peeta," she said. "He did this to you. He and his fucking brother––" Johanna continued to struggle with him. "He did it––"

"Johanna, please stop," Peeta begged her.

"Why Rory?" I implored him. "Peeta never hurt you."

"He stole you from Gale," he answered.

"He did no such thing," I exploded. "Haymitch let go of me." He didn't budge as he shook his head. He kept his arms around me. "No one stole me from anyone, do you understand? I fell in love with Peeta. Not your brother. I love Peeta. I never felt that way for Gale, not then not ever."

"I know that now," he said. "Gale didn't make me shoot him or burn his house down. I did that on my own. I thought it would make him proud of me," he admitted.

"You're sick, just like your brother," Johanna screamed. "You and your brother are dead. I'm going to kill you. Because of you, Peeta was tortured, abused and…" She stopped and turned to Peeta. "How can you stand there and listen to all this and do nothing? Peeta?" I looked at my boyfriend; his eyes were glazed as sweat beaded his forehead.

"Peeta?" I asked. He was mouthing words I couldn't hear. Haymitch released me when he noticed his odd behavior. I leaned closer to catch his words.

"Not real, not real," he repeated over and over. Fear and concern for him replaced my anger. I placed my hand to cup his face, staring into his vacant eyes.

"Peeta, honey. Come back to me," I instructed him. His eyes were focused on Rory. "Peeta, please come back." I turned to Haymitch." Get him the hell away from here."

"I'm sorry, Katniss," he said as Haymitch dragged him away from the room.

"Fucking get out of here," Johanna screamed. "Haymitch, do something or I will."

I turned back to Peeta. "Peeta, come back. I need you to come back," I repeated. He closed his eyes. His body relaxed as I wrapped my arms around him whispering in his ear. His long hair tickled my lips. "Please be okay. I love you so much. Don't leave me." I tightened my embrace afraid that he would suffer an episode. His arms remained on his sides.

Coming back to the Capitol added too much stress for the both of us, but mostly for Peeta. He twisted and turned all night. I wished we were back in District 1, alone in our sanctuary and happy.

Johanna and Delly stood around us, helpless and scared. "Delly, what's happening to him?" Johanna asked. "Do something?"

"I think seeing Rory who looked like Gale is triggering memories of that night," Delly surmised. "Maybe we should call Kara."

"No shit, Delly," Johanna returned. While they conversed between themselves, I peppered Peeta's face with kisses on his eyes, nose and cheeks. After a moment, I sighed in relief when he placed his hands on my waist acknowledging my presence.

"Peeta, Peeta, you're okay," I murmured. I kissed his eyes. "You're here safe with me." I kissed his cheek. "I'm never going to let anything or anyone hurt you ever again. I swear, baby."

"Katniss?" he spoke so low and soft as he opened his eyes.

"My head hurts. I think I need to lie down," he said. He looked tired and worn as if a heavy load was placed on his shoulders.

"Okay, baby." I turned to Delly and Johanna. "I'm going to get him settled. Can you make sure that no one bothers us for a while?" They nodded their head. "I mean it. I don't want anyone to disturbs us. And unless this building is on fire, I don't want to be disturbed."

"Do you want me to call Kara," Delly asked.

"No, not now. Later, please," I begged. Peeta needed me not Kara.

In our room Peeta started to lie down on our bed but I stopped him. "Come here, baby." I pulled off his shirt and pants leaving him with his dark blue boxers shorts. He felt warm to touch that I turned up the air conditioning. Staying at the top floor of the building prevented us from opening the windows. It was one disadvantage residing at the penthouse suite.

Peeta lay on the bed as he watched me strip down to a shirt and my panties. I would have stripped us naked but since we were not alone, I couldn't risk it incase Peeta or I woke up from a nightmare and having Haymitch, Delly or Johanna barging into the room.

I slipped down to lie next to him. "Off," Peeta pointed at my shirt.

"Peeta," I sighed. Lying next to him almost naked was not conducive to just sleeping. I was too tempted ravage him, to erase the memories that was triggered by Rory's appearance. But now was not the time or place no matter how I much craved his touch.

"Please, Katniss," he uttered. "I want to feel you." I gulped and nodded my head as I took off my shirt. Shivering from cool air, I laid back with Peeta situating his head on my chest. He straddled my leg and placed a hand on my waist. I felt his long hard length on my thigh. He was trying to kill me. "Thank you," he whispered, his breath tickled my breast. I groaned in pleasure and frustration. After a few minutes, his breath evened out. He was asleep. I kissed the top of his head. "Katniss," he murmured in his sleep.

I relaxed my body as I recalled our last night in District 1. It was a night I'll never forget. My body tingled from the memories that I couldn't fall asleep. Frustrated, I snuck off the bed, redress and left Peeta sprawled on his stomach as he clutched onto a pillow. I would never get used to seeing my half naked boyfriend sleeping on our bed. It's a sight I hope to keep when we returned to 12.

"Is he still sleeping," Delly asked as I entered the living room. Her morning sickness made her pale and harried looking. She was nibbling on some crackers with a glass of juice. Her appetite in the morning was reduced to toast and juice. But by dinnertime, she ate like a horse and shoveled food in her mouth as if the world was ending tomorrow.

"Yeah, seeing Bron and Rory took a lot out of him," I started. They nodded their head in understanding. "Where are Haymitch and Effie?"

"Kara came by to drop this off," Johanna said as she handed me a bottle of pills. "After you guys left, Kara came by to check on Peeta, but Haymitch told her to come back later. They went to the hospital with her to discuss Peeta's treatments."

"What are the pills for?" I asked as I examined the bottle. The pills were bright yellow and very small.

"They're for Peeta when he gets a headache," Delly answered. "He should take only one because they're pretty strong." He was already taking the pills Kara prescribed him. I didn't want him to get addicted to unnecessary medication, but if his head ached, I'd do anything to relieve him of any more pain.

"Do you think I should wake him and give him one now?" I recalled the tears that formed in his eyes from the headache. I kissed every hurt and injury on his body if I knew it would help.

"No just let him sleep," Delly said. "He can take one later if the headache persists." We had only been here for a few days and the stress was catching up to us. Peeta's first session was scheduled tomorrow after lunch. The visit and confrontations with Rory and Bron weighed in my mind. I can't imagine what's going through Peeta's mind.

"Why are the men in our lives such jerks," Delly murmured. My brows lifted from her comment. "With the exception of Peeta, of course." She smiled back with a twinkle in her eyes. It had been a while since I've seen Delly smile with everything she's been through.

"I never met Peeta's brothers," Johanna inquired. "Were they as sweet and adorable as him? I bet they were all good looking."

"No even but you can't ask me since I'm prejudice," Delly informed her. "They were nice and good guys, but not like Peeta. Everyone loved him." _'Except his own mother,'_ I said to myself. "It's a miracle he turned out the way he did considering his mother was…"

"A bitch," I completed.

"Katniss," Delly said, her eyes wide from shock.

"What? It's the truth," I supplied. Everyone knew her reputation. She was mean, cold and treated her sons abominably, especially Peeta who was the youngest and smallest amongst the three brothers. She treated him the worst. I could never comprehend how sweet, kind and generous Peeta became despite the harsh world and family he grew up with.

"Katniss?" Peeta appeared wearing his boxer shorts and shirtless. He had tears in his eyes. My heart ached seeing him half naked with his prosthetic leg and the scars that peppered his arms and chest. It reminded me of how much he lost during the arenas and from the Capitol. I couldn't love him any less with his disability.

"Peeta, what's wrong?" I asked as I grabbed him around the waist. I ignored Delly and Johanna's presence and focused on him.

"I woke up…and you were gone," he said. "I got scared…that you…"

"I wasn't sleepy and I didn't want to disturb you," I answered him. I ran my fingers through his tousled hair. He was warm and sweaty despite the fact I left the air conditioning on.

"I thought you left me," he sniffled. "Sorry, I'm being a sap and clingy."

"No, don't be sorry," I said kissing his cheek. "I'm sorry I left you." He held me tight. "How's your head?"

"I feel achy and fuzzy," he answered back.

"Come on, let's get you back to bed." I pulled his hand.

"No, I don't want to go back to sleep."

"Okay, but you should put some clothes on," I said. "You can stop ogling my boyfriend, Delly." I turned around and winked at her.

She cleared her throat. "Well, I can't help it. You have a hot boyfriend, Katniss," she teased me back. "Anyway, I'm going to get a glass of water so he can take his pills."

"No, I'll get it, Delly," Johanna said as she left the room.

"What pills? I don't want to take any more pills," Peeta whined. "The ones I take after breakfast always make me queasy."

"You should have said something," Delly said as she approached him and felt his forehead. I flinched aware of his undress with Delly touching him. I had to remind myself that she was also his nurse. "Kara told me that they may have to lower the dosage if you had some side effects. Do you get nauseous, dizzy or stomach cramps?"

"I thought it was normal to feel this way." He shrugged his shoulders.

"Peeta, you have to tell me if you're feeling any discomfort," Delly reprimanded him. Johanna returned with a glass.

"Here, you're suppose to take two but I'm going to give you one pill." She handed him the pill, which he took without question or hesitation.

"Now, let's get some clothes on you," I said pulling him into the bedroom. "I think Delly and Johanna has seen enough of you."

"You're a very lucky girl, Katniss" Johanna teased as she yelled after us.

Dinner was a quiet affair. It felt odd without Bron sitting next to Delly. His absence was obvious. Peeta ate half his meal, which bothered me since he still needed to gain more weight for his treatments. I noticed that his wine glass was empty. He managed to eat all his dessert, chocolate cake with cream frosting. He consumed more sugar and wine than the actually meal.

"Are you feeling better, Peeta?" Effie asked him. He nodded his head.

"I don't have a headache anymore," he answered back with a big smile on his face. I sighed in relief. Throughout dinner he snuck his hand on my thigh between each entre. I didn't think he was aware of it as it felt so natural for him to do. I moaned in pleasure and frustration, as his hand inched higher close to my…I grabbed his hand from reaching his destination. He had a nerve to smile back with mischief in his crystal blue eyes. He leaned over and whispered in my ear.

"You look very beautiful this evening." I blushed as I noticed Johanna staring at us, smirking. Delly was to busy inhaling a second serving of the chocolate cake to notice my pink cheeks. "I'm going to enjoy removing…undressing you in our bedroom." His breath tickled my ear. "Then, I'm going to lick every––"

Suddenly, Haymitch stood up and disappeared into the kitchen. His movement startled both of us. When he came back he carried two bottles in his hands. I sighed in relief and frustration as Peeta laughed at me.

"I know that a lot has happened since we got here," Haymitch stated as he uncorked both bottles. One bottle was champagne and the other was sparkling cider. He poured the cider into Delly's glass while he served us with the champagne. "But, since we rarely have good news, I think we should toast to any good fortune that befalls us." He raised his glass to Delly.

"Delly, I know that things did not turn out the way you dreamed of. But I cannot imagine not toasting to your blessing…to look forward to bringing a child into this new world. I wish you and your baby joy, happiness and an abundance of love. To Delly and baby Cartwright."

We raised our glasses to her. She blushed, embarrassed but was touched by Haymitch's toast. Johanna stood up. "I too want to give a toast. I may not be as eloquent as Haymitch or Peeta. So here goes.' She cleared her throat and turned to Delly.

"As a former victor and mentor, death has always been a part of my life. I was surrounded by it and accepted it. I'm very proud and honored to be a part of a new life that you're bringing into the world. Thank you for making me realize that fighting for love, be it a friend or a lover is worth it. That love is worth fighting for." She paused and took a deep breath. "To Delly and her baby. May we survive the next few months of her pregnancy." She chuckled as Delly slugged her arm.

"Hey, that was sweet until the last part," she whined. "I am not that bad."

"Not yet," Haymitch teased her.

"Hey, you better watch it," Delly returned. "There's two of you and four of us, you know."

"Don't remind me. We need more guys in this family," Haymitch said. I flinched at the obvious absence of Bron at the dinner table and Delly's reaction to his comment. She looked as thought she was going to burst into tears.

"Well said, Johanna. You did great," Peeta spoke. He lifted his glass, "To Delly. You're going to be an awesome mom." She cheered up immediately.

We polished the champagne within minutes enjoying some semblance of happiness for we knew it was fleeting. Soon, we adjourned to the living room listening to music piped through the speakers. Haymitch knew better to turn on the video monitor in case some news appeared with Gale being televised. Peeta and I were lounging on the sofa his head on my lap when he stood up abruptly, startling me.

"Dance with me," he requested extending his hand out to me. Both Delly and Johanna smirked at us. I should have realized that something odd was happening to Peeta. His eyes were dazed as if he was drunk. He was unsteady on his feet as he wrapped his arms around my waist. His attempt to seduce me during dinner was still fresh in my mind.

"Peeta, how much champagne did you drink?" I asked my sappy boyfriend.

"I only had a glassh, I swear," he hummed into my neck, kissing my skin. I shivered from his touch. I giggled when he stumbled on his own two feet. "I feel really good," he slurred his words. "My headache went far, far away when I took the pills."

"How many did you take?"

"Well, the bottle said two, so I took two before dinner," he said. "Now I feel better, my head doesn't hurt anymore."

"Peeta, you shouldn't have drank any alcohol while you're taking your medication," I scolded him. No wonder he's drunk. The mixture of alcohol and medication made him loopy and giddy. It didn't take much for him to reach his inebriated state.

He ignored my reprimand. "Did I…have I told you lately…how beautiful you are?" he said with a big smile on his flushed face. He had complimented me during dinner between the cake and the champagne. I laughed to myself.

"Every day, Peeta. You tell me everyday," I said.

"That's horrible," he pouted. "I should tell every hour of every day. You're very beautiful my Katnissh Everdeen."

"You're beautiful too, my Peeta Mellark," I repeated back.

"Can you two be any more sickening than you are right now," Johanna snickered.

"Hey, leave them alone, I think they're so adorable together," Delly sighed.

"I agree with Johanna," Haymitch interjected. "Peeta, I can understand, he's sappy, but Katniss she's–– "

"Keep quiet and leave Katniss and Peeta alone," Effie added. "You're just jealous."

"Am not."

"Are too," Effie screeched with her Capitol accent. I ignored all of them as Peeta continued to rant.

"You're so beautiful…like the sunrise," he recited. "I could stare at you every hour and every day…and never get enough." He slurred his word and hiccupped. I laughed at his antics. "All the katniss flowers in the world have nothing on you. I'm going to paint you…then paint you again until I get it right…because…because no painting or picture could do you justice to how really beautiful you are in person."

"Oh, dear god, I'm going to puke," Haymitch said shaking his head. Peeta ignored him. As for me, I'm too amused and entertained by his behavior. I knew he was romantic and sappy. Lucky me.

"You are the stars and the moon…the light in my dark world," he chanted. "I loooove youuuu….Katnissh Everdeen. I love you thish musch." He raised his hands and spreads his arms wide while trying to stay steady on his feet. I grabbed his waist to prevent him from falling on his face. Delly and Johanna giggled. Haymitch pretended to vomit.

"I love you too, baby," I whispered in his ear. I was never one for public displays of affection. Neither was Peeta. Our fake relationship made us weary of the cameras recording our private lives. Our relationship was sacred to us. No one had the right to watch us anymore.

"Not as musch as I love you, Katnissh," he challenged me.

"Not possible," I returned.

"I really, really love you thish musch." He spreads his arms wider.

"I know, baby," I laughed at him.

"You believe me, right?" he pouted again. I wanted to lean over and bite his lower lip. This was fun Peeta who was open and vulnerable, his heart wide open for all the world to see and hear.

"Yes, Peeta, I believe you." How could I not after everything he's been through? He loved so deeply and devotedly. I'm humble by his intensity. How much he loved me.

"Real?" He smiled.

"Real," I responded back kissing his cheek.

"Oh, we…this calls for a celebration. I want another drink of champ…champ…"

"Oh, no you don't," I said. "You had enough to drink."

"But Katnissh," he whined. "I only had a one…one glassh." He stopped for a moment as if something caught his attention. Peeta looked down into my eyes. They were soft filled with awe and adoration. The look I avoided and ignored whenever he glanced at me before I acknowledged my feelings for him. I recognized them now as I felt a shiver go up my spine. His brows furrowed for a second as he placed a hand on my cheek.

"Will you be my girlfriend, Katnissh?" he slurred as he gave me a goofy smile while his eyes twinkled. _'What?'_ Did he just ask me…?

"I am your girlfriend, Peeta." Pride and love burst through my chest. I heard giggles and vomiting sounds behind him. "Just like you're my boyfriend."

"Aw, how sweet," Delly sighed then burst into tears. Johanna was right; it was going to be a very long and emotional pregnancy for Delly. Her pregnancy made twice as emotional than usual. She would be quiet one moment then burst into tears the next.

"Damnit, you two made you Delly cry," Johanna accused us. Then she turned to watch Effie dab her eyes with a tissue. "Effie, not you too?"

"I've never been anyone's boyfriend before," he said low and sad. He looked down to his feet. "I didn't think I ever get a girlfriend. Not after I lost my leg. Who would want me? You're the only girl I ever wanted. I never thought you ever wanted…me"

"Hey, I never wanted to be anyone's girlfriend," I explained to him. "But I'm glad I'm yours." Effie sniffled again as Delly continued to bawl her eyes out. Johanna sighed in frustration while Haymitch rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"I need a drink," Haymitch exclaimed. "You females are going to drink me insane. And you Peeta, you're not helping."

Peeta looked up and smiled, a kind a smile that left me weak in the knees. "You're mine?" he asked. I nodded my head. "Real?"

"Real, Peeta." I placed hand on his cheek.

"Woohoo," he screamed as he grabbed my waist and twirled us around lifting me in his strong arms. "Katniss Everdeen is my girlfriend." He cheered. I laughed with joy and happiness. I don't know what caused Peeta to confess his insecurities. Maybe it's the drugs and alcohol that caused him to be unguarded with his feelings. He gave me a sloppy kiss on the corner of my mouth. I filed this moment in my mind with Peeta drunk up to his eyeballs. He was adorable, funny and sexy drunk. Most people I knew that got drunk were mean and violent. I wasn't afraid of him.

"Let's go swimming," he suggested as he whipped his shirt over his head. He reached down and unbuckled his belt. His new weight gain extenuated his six-pack and ripped arms and pecs.

"I don't think so, baby," I said laughing and horrified at the turn of events. In the midst of his alcoholic haze, he stripped down to his boxer shorts again. I pulled his pants back up securing the belt.

"I'm hot, Katniss," he pouted and whined as I redressed him with his shirt back on.

"Yes, you are," I said without thinking then blushed as Delly, Johanna and Effie giggled at my remark. He kept trying to remove his shirt every time I put it back on him. "Behave, I said.

"I don't wanna," he chirped back.

"Damn, Katniss," Johanna whistled. I smiled with pride and embarrassment. My yummy Peeta was showing off his goods. We had access to the pool on the roof days before but Peeta ever conscious of his scars and leg kept his shirt on. He covered his swimming trunks with a towel around his waist while we swam. He leered at me all day as I wore a one-piece bathing suit. He didn't budge an inch as I tried to entice him to swim with me. Peeta challenged me that he would go swimming with me the day I dare to wear a two-piece bathing suit just for him. It was a challenge I was willing to accommodate him once we were back on District 4, the place where we would be safe and nowhere near Capitol eyes and ears. I didn't want to take any chance of being photographed while we were in the city. He was mine alone to ogle at.

I sighed as I stared at my drunken boyfriend. His shirt was unbutton as he danced with Johanna and Delly. He looked so happy and carefree. I'm not looking forward to watch him suffer with his hangover tomorrow morning, but for now I will bask in his happiness.

Tomorrow Peeta will be attending his sessions. I know that I'll have everyone's support but it still didn't ease my worries or fears for my Boy with the Bread. With Gale still out there, we will never be free from his obsession and hatred towards Peeta. We will be forever looking over our shoulders and suspecting everyone around us. It was not the life I wanted with my beloved baker. I will do anything to keep Peeta safe even if it meant taking care of Gale on my own. I just hoped it will not come to that.

Johanna plopped beside me, staring at Peeta. "He's so happy," she commented as we watched Peeta dipped Delly in his arms. She squealed yelling for him not to drop her. "He's cute when his drunk." I smiled. "Cute and sappy." He twirled her around.

"Peeta, you're making me dizzy," Delly laughed as he continued to twirl her around. "If you don't stop I'm going to puke on you, seriously?" Peeta stopped.

"Oh, Delly gross," he said as he scrunched his nose at her. "I'm hungry. Anymore cake left?"

"Delly ate the last piece," Effie informed him. "She ate four pieces."

"You had four slices?" Peeta guffawed.

"Hey, I was hungry and so was the baby," she pouted. "Don't make fun of me. It was delicious. And I'm still hungry."

"Well, what baby Cartwright wants then baby Cartwright gets," he said. "Your baby will be the most spoiled baby in all of Panem." He grabbed Delly's hand. "Come on, let's raid the refrigerator."

"I don't think I've ever seen him this happy before," Johanna reflected as we watched Delly and Peeta disappear into the kitchen.

"And all mine," I stated.

"Damn right," she returned. "You really have yourself a good one, rare too. When he's happy, you can't help but be happy too. He's so infectious."

"I want to always see him that way," I said to her. "I don't ever want _anyone_ to touch him ever again." Johanna nodded her head in understanding.

"No one, Katniss," she swore and corrected herself. "_He _will hurt never hurt Peeta again." Her eyes met mine. Johanna looked at me reading the unspoken thoughts that permeated my mind. We made a silent pact between us. It would only be a matter of time because one way or another, Peeta will be free from Gale. Johanna and I would make sure of it.

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_**AN: Thank you for reading this chapter. Have a great weekend.**_


	43. Chapter 43 - In the Eye of the Storm 1

Chapter 43 – In the Eye of the Storm 1

_AN: Thanks to my reviewers [Trude, Matainer, kamjam, LACR and Lillian] and for those who alerted and followed my fic. All rights and characters belong to Suzanne Collins. Any mistakes found are mine. Please note that there will be child abuse, sexual content and foul language mentioned in this chapter. If you're offended and disturbed by the contents of this story you should back while you still can. _

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**Delly POV**

I tried not to laugh at Peeta whose head lay on the dining table. He moaned when Katniss placed a glass of juice in front of him. "Don't walk so loud, Katniss," he winced as she sat next him and rubbed the back of his neck. He sighed at her gentle touch. That was odd considering that I didn't even hear her until she sat down.

"Peeta, drink your juice. You're probably dehydrated," I ordered him. My stomach rumbled for the third time this morning. We were waiting or Haymitch, and Effie to arrive for breakfast. I was tempted to start then was reminded by Johanna that Effie would have a conniption that we had started without them. Something about manners and etiquette Johanna spouted as my eye were glued to platter of cinnamon buns that was within my reach distracting me. She woke up bright and early to prepare breakfast since Peeta was incapacitated. _'I'm pregnant for crying out loud,'_ my mind shouted. Baby Cartwright and me were starving and it's the first time this morning I didn't wake up wanting to kneel and re-acquaintance myself to my new best friend, a porcelain toilet. I miss Cheese Buns.

"That and hung over," Katniss added. Poor Peeta. I've always known he couldn't handle alcohol. I remembered when––

"I don't understand why. I only had a glass of wine and champagne," he interrupted my thoughts.

"Peeta, you mixed your medication with alcohol last night," I explained.

"Oh, I didn't know…all I know was that my headache went away right after I took the pills."

"Well, had you also eaten all your dinner, you wouldn't have gotten drunk so easily," I said. Peeta's eye grew wide.

"I was drunk…that's why I feel…" He looked over at Katniss, touching her arms, waist and any skin he could see. "I didn't hurt you, did I? I'm sorry––"

"Baby, you didn't hurt me," she said, her cheeked tinged pink. Hmm, interesting.

"You didn't hurt her, Peeta." Johanna's voice boomed as she walked into the room with a platter of cut fruit. My mouth salivated at the spread on the table. Eggs, bacon, hash browns, cinnamon buns and fruit teased my stomach while we waited.

"As a matter of fact, you did the opposite." She winked and wagged her brows as she reached over to Katniss to reveal several marks on her neck. "Wow, Peeta," she teased him. "You marked her good."

He planted his arms across the table before him and dropped his head to hide his face. "Stop it,' he mumbled into his forearms. "My head hurts too much. At least I know that I didn't hurt Katniss." One of his greatest fear was hurting Katniss when he's out of control whether from his hijacking or in the state of drunkenness.

"You don't remember giving Katniss those contusions on her neck and discreet places?" I teased him. Katniss didn't attempt to hide them anymore. She was used to our ribbing by now.

"What, but you said I didn't hurt you." he stared at his girlfriend. He looked worried as if he had hurt her. Katniss blushed instead.

"Stop being so technical, Delly." Johanna patted Peeta on the head. "They're called hickeys, love bites. I bet you can find them all over Katniss'––"

"Okay, Johanna," Peeta interrupted her. "That's private and none of your business." He was cross with Johanna but had a sly smile on his face. He looked back at embarrassed Katniss exuding love and adoration. Drunk Peeta was just as sweet and lovesick. I miss Bron. Damnit, those two are going to make me cry again.

Peeta with his head still lying on top of his arms reached over to grasp Katniss' hand. "Seriously, I didn't do…I didn't hurt you? You can tell me if I did…I'll never get drunk ever again––"

She lowered her head to his. "I promise you, you didn't," she said as she kissed so soft and chaste. "I enjoyed receiving every one of them." Her eyes twinkled with amusement.

"Yeah," Peeta returned. She nodded her head. He rubbed his hand over a bruise on the crook of her neck. His touch was light, reverent. Katniss blushed a deep red. She took his hand and placed over her chest right above her heart. They're so sweet.

"Anyway, hickeys we're used to seeing but seeing Katniss walking funny this morning now…that's new," I snickered.

"Really," Johanna gasped. "Atta boy, Peeta. You do me proud."

"Shut up, Delly." Katniss grimaced. "I was not walking funny."

"You were too."

"I hope I didn't embarrass myself," Peeta muttered as he held Katniss' hand. She snickered at him.

"Were you too drunk to even remember if you did?" Katniss scoffed at him.

"I think I remember but I don't know if they're dreams or not? Why, what did I do?" Peeta said in alarm.

"Only that after you and Delly made a mess in the kitchen, you started to sing off key, mind you. Then you shouted you were hot and started to strip down to your…" Johanna guffawed. "You strip down for all the world to see how very lucky Katniss Everdeen is."

"Oh," was Peeta's only reaction. He may not be an exhibitionist, but he never was embarrassed when h was naked in front of anyone. He shouldn't. Katniss should be very proud of him.

"Katniss was so mad at you. You should have seen her face." Johanna laughed so hard she had tears in here eyes.

"I wish I had my camera," I reflected to myself. Peeta turned to his mortified girlfriend. I sighed in longing and frustration. I love Bron. I still do, but seeing my first love undressed. Well, I'm hormonal and couldn't help but fantasize the what if's in my life. What if Katniss died in the arena and Peeta was never reaped? Would he have settled and married? Would it even be me?

"It's not like they have never seen me naked, Katniss," he voiced to her. She gave him her patented scowl which only made him laugh.

"Ow, don't make me laugh," he winced as he closed his eyes.

"Don't be mad, Katniss," I continued. "He's right, you know." I remembered the time I saw Peeta naked, I dropped his medication on the floor. This was before Eva traumatized him during his abduction. He had just entered his room from taking a shower without towel on him…nothing but his glorious naked self walking into the room. Even with the weight loss he was still handsome as ever and sexy to me. Since working as nurse-in-training I have seen many penises, but to see the objection of your affection's cock, well…I sighed in melancholy. I'm hungry, horny, frustrated and craving Cheese Buns. Too bad Peeta was too hung over to bake this morning. I'll guilt him into making me Katniss' favorite bread claiming that baby Cartwright is craving his Cheese Buns.

"Yeah, she got really over it once you had her alone in your room," Johanna snickered at her. "Man, the sounds coming out of there all night. I thought Peeta and Kat were…erotic but you two…Wow."

"I'm jealous," I sighed. "This pregnancy is making hungry and horny." I didn't realize that I had said that out loud.

"Eww, Delly," Peeta sat up, startled and palmed his face.

"What? We couldn't help but listen to Katniss screaming all night," I snickered. "Even Effie was startled at first. She really thought you were hurting her."

"Yeah, but after hearing '_Peeta, Peeta,'_ in that tone,' she realized you were far from hurting her," Johanna intoned. "Details, Everdeen. Delly and I are going to get details."

"Johanna," Katniss whined. "You sound like Delly."

"She got that from me not the other way around."

"You corrupted my sweet Delly," Peeta admonished Johanna.

"That's enough you two," Effie said, her tone firm and scolding as she entered the room. "That is not an appropriate topic this morning. And why are all of you not dressed?" I looked down at my very comfortable and soft pajamas. Johanna was wearing a tank and shorts just like Katniss while Peeta wore a t-shirt and long pants. He was still conscious of his leg, insecure over his physical appearance. Johanna was right that Katniss is a very lucky girl. With Peeta gaining some of his weight back, he looked…sexy and hot. When he stripped the night before I was tempted to grab his biteable ass and run my hands on his six-pack until I saw the look of anger on Katniss' face. You know, the look that said, _'look but not touch my sexy boyfriend unless I wanted an arrow between my eyes.'_

As Katniss once stated, he was perfect. "Peeta, sit up. If you want to lie down go back to your bedroom," she instructed him as he sat up. As usual Effie was exquisite and well put together. I envied her beauty and polished manner.

"Sorry, Effie," he relented. "Where is Haymitch?' he asked as he rubbed sleep from his eyes. His shirt lifted revealing his well-toned stomach muscles. Yup, hungry and horny. This is going to be a very long and frustrating pregnancy.

"With young Hawthorne." Johanna informed us. Peeta closed his eyes at the mention of Rory. Since his arrival, Peeta has been agitated, restless and fidgety. I didn't blame him since he is the brother of the guy that was stalking him.

"Good morning," Haymitch announced himself as he walked into the room, ogling at Effie. She blushed as turned her eyes away. That was odd considering how they have been with each other since her arrival. They're so hot and cold with one another. For older people they are sure stubborn. Just like Katniss was with Peeta. It was obvious that they were attracted to each other. _'Do people at their age still have sex?'_ Eww…that's like seeing my parents having sex. Gross. I sobbed as I thought about mom and dad. Would they be disappointed in me for being single and pregnant? They'll never meet my baby? Damn these hormones.

"Haymitch, can I speak to you alone after breakfast?" Peeta asked.

"Sure, kid," he answered back. Katniss looked concern and worried at Peeta's request. She sent furtive glances towards him all through breakfast. As for Peeta, he ate like a horse. Despite his hangover, his appetite returned. Katniss looked relieved and worried next to her boyfriend.

"This is really good, Johanna," he complimented her as he shoveled a spoon of eggs into his mouth. Katniss remained quiet next to him, her plate half eaten. He even took his pills as she handed him a glass of water with no resistance or complaint.

After breakfast we dressed for the day. Just as Haymitch and Peeta left for their 'talk,' Peeta gave Katniss a quick hug before walking out the room. She was stunned and disappointed that he didn't want her around during their discussion.

"What was that about?" I asked her.

"I don't know." Katniss shrugged her shoulders. "I was hoping to be with him to find out but…I didn't want to hover over him or act like some clingy girlfriend."

"So you don't have any idea what he wants to talk to Haymitch about?" Johanna insisted.

"No." Katniss shook her head.

"Katniss, don't be mad at him for wanting to talk to Haymitch without you," Effie sounded. "Besides, there is something that we need to discuss with you. I need to speak to all of you," she said. She turned to Katniss who nodded her head. Before Effie pressed further, the doorbell rang. Effie opened the door to Kara. She walked straight to us with medical bag in hand and an apprehensive look on her face. Katniss being Katniss spoke first without so much as a greeting.

"Okay, now I don't know what's going on but will someone please tell me why we're having this talk with out Peeta and Haymitch," she started. She glanced at her medical bag. Kara arrived to give him his daily check up. She also reduced the dosage on his pills he was taking every morning since it gave him stomach cramps.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to alarm you but after speaking to Effie and Haymitch yesterday, they told me that I should give you a complete run down of what Peeta's treatment will entail," she spoke. After all this time, she has become someone we trusted to take care of Peeta. After Bron's betrayal we couldn't afford to let anyone into our lives. We trusted Kara with Peeta completely.

"Today is Peeta's first day for his sessions, I'm here to explain what will be happening. Dr. Aurelius wanted to talk to you in the hospital, but I thought it was best that I talk to you here." Now, I'm intrigued. Since when did Kara have authority with Peeta's treatments over Dr. Aurelius? My mind cannot fathom why he would concede to this since he is Peeta's original and main physician at the Capitol. Something just didn't add up.

"While we're prepping him for the treatments he will have to undergo a couple sessions with me. To assess his state of mind."

"Why does he have to have sessions first before his treatments," Katniss asked. She was wringing her hands and pulling at her necklace.

"The sessions are necessary for his treatments because Dr. Aurelius and I need to assess his mental state. Peeta is a strong person in physical strength but when it comes to his mental state, he is vulnerable. I cannot express enough how much his mental state is critical to the treatment. It would be irresponsible for Dr. Aurelius and I to proceed without considering his mental health. I'm proud of him to commit to this but at the same time, he is also aware of the high probability of irreversible damage. He is the only living survivor of a tracker venom poisoning. It's a miracle that he is still alive and functioning in society."

"I don't understand," Johanna added.

"If his mind cannot handle his treatments, I'm afraid that he can lapse into a deep coma and…not recover."

"Meaning? Can you please just talk plainly," Katniss snapped. I felt her frustration and fear.

"Each time Peeta suffers an episode, his mind is affected as well." We stared at her to explain further. "Okay, just imagine your brain being electrocuted every time you have an episode. Each time the brain gets electrocuted, you slowly lose brain function such as memory, mobility and awareness. Each episode turns the brain into mush." Katniss had a look of fear on her face. "Depending on the frequency and severity of each episode, his brain gets fried to explain simply."

"Holy shit," Johanna cursed.

"The Capitol used a lot of images that helped speed up the hijacking. Images that meant to discourage him, anger him and break him down. To weaken him mentally."

"Like brainwashing you mean," I added.

"More like conditioning. I need to explain how…Peeta was 'reprogrammed.' For months he was tortured and abused physically." Johanna nodded her head. "He endured great physical and sensory abuse but never broke." Katniss started to tear up. "I'm sure that Johanna can attest to that since she was there everyday to see his transformation."

She paused for a second. "His love and devotion for Katniss was his strength to stay alive. He hung onto that. But his main…abuser, the one that discovered how to finally break him figured out that the best way to slowly brainwash Peeta. They turned his love for her against him. They use it against him while hey pumped him with venom until the Peeta you knew was gone, just a shell of who he once were."

Katniss sobbed and tears fell from her eyes.

"They flashed images to brainwash him. Convinced him Katniss wasn't the love of his life but his tormentor and killer of his family. They turned the one person who mattered most in the world to him to someone he hated and programmed to kill. With the brainwashing, they injected venom in his system, a little at a time so it wouldn't kill him but rewire his brain."

"So they basically reprogrammed his brain…which broke him," Johanna supplied. Her fists clenched.

"The only thing is…that they didn't take into account of his devotion for you. It was strong almost unbreakable," she stated as she looked at Katniss. "They were never able to completely erase his feelings for you. They didn't consider the strength of his love for you." Katniss smiled but it was a sad one. "In the meantime, we're slowly going to siphon his blood. Give him a transfusion so to speak. I will examine how much venom is still in his system." She paused again to let us absorb this new information.

"But here is the conundrum, we haven't been able to remove the venom completely. We've never been able to…it spreads like a disease. So, we figured instead of images to turn him away from Katniss, we're going 'reprogram' his brain, reinforcing positive images while we slowly siphon his blood that contains the venom with 'clean' blood." She looked at Katniss once again.

"Peeta told me that he sometimes doesn't know if what he sees in front of him is real," she asked her. "He asks you 'real or not real' to certain images that flashes in his mind?" Katniss nodded her head. "You are the key to his cure. We will use the same fake images to counteract the negative to something real and positive. Details and recent memories in his life that were taken with the help of Delly since his return to 12."

"So that's why you told me to take a lot of pictures when they first got together." I snapped my fingers. I thought it was an odd request when she first suggested it. I have been compiling digital photos of their journey back together from the time they sat together on a bench in his backyard after Tamryn's birthday party to the photos I took of them in District 4. It all made sense now.

"If that's the case why still have the sessions?" Johanna asked. "He hasn't had a severe episode in months and you're basically using the same methods that helped brainwash him."

"Peeta has suppressed his anger and resentment towards everyone who has ever hurt him,' she explained. "He has issues regarding his family and…his mother foremost. It all needs to come out in the open. Peeta's loves deeply, devotedly and with great passion. It also means that his hatred and hurt runs deep as well. He has to face his fears, his anger and deal with them. All of them." She looked at Katniss. "If he can face them the less likely he'll be triggered."

"Listen, girls," Effie sounded. I had almost forgotten she was present. "Peeta is probably the sweetest and most gentle boy, I have ever met. Despite his circumstances, I've never really seen him angry. I've seen him upset but never angry."

"But I have," I added. "He is sweet and slow to anger. It takes a lot to get him angry, but once he reaches his boiling point." I sighed. "His anger is explosive and scary. Not that he'll hurt anyone. He would never hurt anyone. He'll hurt himself first." I remembered Haymitch recounting the first time he saw Peeta triggered. Instead of attacking someone, he knelt down and pounded his head on the floor over and over.

"What are the risks?" Katniss queried. "Can his treatments…can he die from them?"

"If we cannot reinforce positive feedback, he can lapse into severe and damaging episodes. If his mind can't handle the episodes…he could fall into a coma or have a heart attack if he continues to suppress his anger."

"That's why you wanted him to gain his weight back," Johanna surmised. "You want him to be strong and healthy incase he does have an episode. He was sick and weak before, but with the gain weight he's stronger."

"Yes, remember when Eva took him hostage, he was triggered several times and it weakened his heart." Katniss sobbed, tears flowed down her face. "Like I said, Peeta knows the risks. I knew how he feels about secrets. I wouldn't or didn't want to be added to the list of people who…disappointed him. I need his full trust and faith in my ability to _'treat'_ him." She shifted her feet. "Haymitch and Effie said that I was to disclose everything to you, the risks, the methods we're going to use for his treatments."

"So he knows all this? He knew and agreed to all of it?" Katniss asked quiet and low. "He's willing to endure…open up old wounds…with the possibility of being triggered? And that he can fall into a coma?"

"If he's not strong enough mentally, he could revert back to old Peeta. The one that came back from the Capitol or…"

"Or what?" Katniss asked.

"Or he could lapse into an irreversible coma, brain damaged from the treatments," she said with finality. It was the worse outcome. I gasped in horror. "I'm not withholding any information. I'm being honest revealing the potential risks and danger with Peeta's treatments.

"You're saying that he risks becoming brain dead?" I yelped.

"Yes, that's a possibility," she confirmed.

The room was quiet. "But there is something you should know, I think Peeta is strong both in body and in spirit. I believe that Peeta's chances for success is very high."

"And what makes you so sure of that?" Johanna inquired. "How or what can you guarantee that he will not be brain damaged or worse…become…Mutt Peeta again?"

"These past few weeks I've been observing him. The fact that he was able to gain a reasonable and healthy weight in the short amount of time can attest to his will and positive outlook. I've been assessing his state of mind and I have to tell you…his love for you…all of you has strengthened him. He's stronger now. He knows the risks––"

"He can't go through with this…I," Katniss yelled. "I won't let him."

"It's now your decision to make," Kara stated.

"He could be brain damaged…or...I could lose him again. How could…how dare he do that to me!" She paced the floor, her face in anguish and fear. I held back the sob that was caught in my throat. For the first time I have never seen Johanna looked lost and scared for Peeta. Angry yes, but not scared for him.

"It's because of you he thinks it's worth the risk," she added. "He doesn't want to be a slave to his wrist band, scared that he would or could be triggered. The venom in his system will only spread if he continues to get triggered and not treated."

"But with treatments, he can be cured?" Johanna asked.

"In time, maybe a couple of years or so…if we replace his blood, siphoning the blood in the areas that are contaminated with the venom, he would suffer less episodes. He's been remarkable…I've never seen anyone control or depress his episodes."

"I'd rather have him wear that band for the rest of his life and than take that kind of risk," she sneered at her. "You have not convinced me that there isn't even a margin of success," Katniss intoned. "I can't let him risk himself to that kind of pain and suffering."

"I can and I will," Peeta said. He appeared at the doorway with Haymitch by his side.

"How dare you agree to this…without telling me," Katniss screamed at him. "You could die, become a vegetable." Her tears joined her anger. "I won't let you do it."

"It's my life and my decision to make," he returned. He was calm and collected while Katniss was beside herself. Her eyes raged between anger and fear. It's a bold and suicidal move for Peeta to take the risk.

"No, it's my life," she roared. "You are my life. I'll have no none left…you can't leave me. I need you."

"I can't take the risk that one day, I'm going to have an episode and hurt you," he explained. "Or worse, find you dead because of me."

"But you'll risk…being triggered, having a heart attack or worse become brain dead," she sobbed through her rant. "I can't lose you, I can't lose you now that I have you."

"I have to do this," he said.

"Please don't go through with this," she begged him as she grabbed his shirt fisting the cloth in her hands. "I want a future with you…I never thought I'd be with you again…to know what it's like to be loved by you…to love you."

"I want a future with you too," he said. "Katniss, please listen to me." He placed both hands on her face. "When I came back to 12, I was ready to die. Dr. Aurelius told me that my probability of surviving my hijacking was…40/60 at best. I would linger maybe two maybe three years before the venom flooded my system overtaking me. I was tired, weary and saw no future before me. Do you understand, I just wanted to die?" She gasped in horror. Johanna broke into tears as Effie sniffled holding back her anguish. My Peeta was going to die and he never said a word to anyone.

"But something happened," he smiled. "You happened. You brought me back from the abyss I was wallowing in. I'm fighting for you, for us. I don't want to live like this."

"It's too risky," she returned. "There is no guarantee that you'll be cured. I'll lose you…either way."

"Or I can survive this and not wear this damn wristband for the rest of my life. Always afraid that I'll snap and kill you," he explained. "Have faith in me, in us that this will work."

"I'm scared."

"I am too, but I have you…beside me," he said with such confidence. "You love me?" She nodded her head.

"Real," she returned. "I never wanted to fall in love with anyone but you."

"I can do this," he confided in her. "I know I can as long as I know that you'll be there at the end. I know that I'll have my family with me to support me. You healed me, Katniss. I came back broken beyond repair and you stitched up every cut, healed every crack and my mended my shattered soul." I couldn't help it as I broke down into tears. "Kara and Dr. Aurelius can cure my body and mind with this treatment, but it's you that really healed me." He ran his hand up and down her back as she held onto his lean waist.

"Do you know when I finally realized that you loved me?" She shook her head and smiled at him. "At the baking competition, you announced to all of Panem that I was yours. That I belong to you. You wouldn't have done that in front of the cameras for all the world to know if you hadn't really meant it. You weren't pretending anymore."

"No I wasn't," she confirmed.

"It won't be easy," Peeta explained. "I know that Kara has explained what needs to be done, explained the risks and I'm willing to…to take this risk as long as you'll be there to fight beside me."

"I will, Peeta," Katniss swore to him. "I'll fight for you." I hoped and prayed that Katniss will remember this moment because her commitment and love for him was the only thing that has kept him alive. If she failed to support him, I'm afraid that Peeta will reach a point of no return. The lack of love from his mother molded him, if she rejects him during or after the sessions, it would surely kill him.

* * *

**Katniss POV ––**

I held on to Peeta, tightening my arms around his waist as if he was going to disappear at any moment. I couldn't lose him now. I realized that things would get harder before they got better. I must find the strength to hold on to him to support and comfort him. But I'm so scared. I'm not scared that I will run away when I'm confronted with my transgressions of how I treated him. I'm afraid that he will finally realize who I am and that I am not the girl he fell in love with because in truth, Haymitch was right I really didn't deserve him.

'_Have faith in me, in us.'_ I recalled.

"I love you," he whispered in my ear. "Don't ever forget that." His words calmed me for a few seconds. I needed to hear that. "This is real, Katniss."

"I love you too," I returned, kissing the side of his head. "And real."

He smelled of vanilla and cherries. After breakfast we took a quick shower together, needing his proximity to calm me. He was gentle and sweet while he washed me with his hands. It was meant to comfort me but our time together only ratchet my love and desire for him. I remembered how he loved me last night. I chuckled to myself realizing that I took advantage of him in his drunken state. Drunk Peeta was a very horny and insatiable Peeta. He hadn't touched me in that way since arriving in the Capitol, but I couldn't help myself. I didn't think he mind seeing the proud look on his face after eyed my new 'love bites' all over my body. I savored every bruise he marked me with his mouth.

The information that Kara revealed about Peeta's treatments scared me. I'm frighten, no I'm beyond frightened. I don't know how I will survive if any happened to him. He looked at Haymitch reminding me of his talk with him.

"So are you going to tell me what you and Haymitch talked about?" I asked. We swore to never to keep secrets from each other. Before he could answer, Effie walked in the room with Bron and Rory beside him. They were both wearing their Guardsmen uniform.

"Why the hell are you bringing him here?" Johanna screamed.

"Johanna, don't…I asked for Bron and Rory this morning," Peeta explained. He turned to them. I noticed his brow was furrowed as his eyes lingered on Rory. They wasn't a sign of panic or agitation in them.

"You." He pointed at Rory. "Will come with me." It wasn't a request but an order. I turned to Haymitch for an explanation. He just shrugged his shoulders.

"What's going on?" I inquired.

"Trust him, Katniss," he said.

Peeta extended his hand to me. "Will you come with me?" he asked, his tone not as commanding when he addressed Rory but with a hint of uneasiness. I nodded my head as he grabbed my hand and led us to the monitoring room.

"I don't know you," Peeta started. "Other than the fact that you're Gale's younger brother. What you did to me…I should report you to the authorities for almost killing me."

Rory eyed the floor with shame, humiliation and anger. He looked repentant but a tinge of defiance, a common trait for anyone born in the Seam. He was definitely Gale's brother besides his same features. "Why are you really here?" Peeta asked him. "You knew that talking to me and admitting your involvement could only lead to getting yourself into a whole lot of trouble."

"I love my brother, looked up to him," he confessed. "I would have done anything for him."

"Your sense of loyalty to Gale is twisted just like him," I snarled at him.

"You would have done the same thing for Prim––"

"Don't you fucking dare ever mention her name," I yelled. "Your brother got her killed. She's dead because of him."

"I know and I'm so sorry," he said as his lips trembled. "I didn't know until a few weeks ago. He's my brother Katniss. I didn't realize how much he's changed."

"We all changed, Rory," I uttered. "Peeta was the one affected and damaged the most during the rebellion, but you don't see him stalking people."

"He almost killed you," he reminded me.

"Because he was hijacked," I defended Peeta. "He wasn't himself when he was rescued. And look at him now, he's decent, loving and forgiving. If I had turned to Gale, he would have let me go gladly because he wanted me to be happy. Unlike your brother who is stalking him and hurting anyone he knows and loves."

"Rory, I understand where you're coming from, I do," Peeta sounded. "I too have two brothers who I looked up to and idolized. So I understand your loyalty, and…to purposely hurt someone in his behalf. I understand it because I would have done anything for my brothers. But the difference between you and me is that I would have never crossed the line by trying to take someone's life to prove my love and loyalty to them. They aren't decent people to put such a burden on you. It's too much to ask."

"But you would have killed for her," Rory debated, pointing at me. "You love her so much that you would have died for her, killed for her. You would have…"

"But this isn't about me," I expressed. "This is about you and your sick sense of duty and loyalty to your brother."

"Yes, I would have killed for Katniss," Peeta admitted. "But if Katniss asked me to harm someone out of spite and vindictiveness than she isn't the person who I thought she was. I'm my own person. I would never let anyone or anything change me for their approval or devotion."

"I'm sorry, Peeta." Why did everyone think that saying sorry would absolve them? I shook my head in disgust. "I'll do anything you ask of me, just please don't hurt him."

"What the hell, Rory," I screamed at him. "He hurt Peeta, stalked him, conspired to…and you have the gall to stand there and ask for leniency?"

"He's sick Katniss," he stated. "Something is wrong with him. The war really changed him. And you toyed with his feelings. He thought that you loved him––"

"Fuck you, Rory, the war changed everyone. My first reaping changed me," I hollered, my throat ached from screaming. I was close to slugging him again. "Gale refused to see it. Don't make excuses for him. I pretended to love Peeta. I hurt him over and over but you don't see him stalking and obsessing over me, trying to convince me that I love him then. But I do love him now. I told your brother over and over that I wanted Peeta and not him. Gale can't handle or accept that I chose Peeta over him."

"Rory, I want to know why you're here," Peeta interjected. "Why you came to see me."

"Please hear me out," he begged. "Gale is sick…and he needs help. He's my brother regardless of how much he's changed. My mom will be heartbroken if she finds out what he's been doing. Please help me…find a way to…get him help. He's obsessed with you more than ever. I know he's the one who beat that actor guy who looks like you. He's out of control."

"Your brother is going to get help only if he asked for it," Peeta sounded. "If he won't listen to you, what makes you think he'll accept help or even listen to me?"

"I think the only person who can get through to him is Katniss."

"Right, do you know the last time I talked to him he swore to get even with me for choosing Peeta," I scoffed at him. "You're mother was there. She told him to leave Peeta and me alone. If he won't listen to his mother, he won't listen to me either."

"I have to try for my mom's sake," he pleaded. To have such burden placed on a young boy, I was familiar with it. I wondered what I would have done if I was in his shoes. Would I have killed for Prim? Yes, I would have without any hesitation if it meant to protect and keep her safe. There would have been no doubt about it. Just I like I knew that Peeta and I would kill and die for each other. I looked at my Boy with the Bread. I could tell that his mind was racing a mile a minute.

"What are you thinking, Peeta?" I asked him.

"I don't know what to do, Katniss," he confessed. "He's under the protection of his office. He has power and resources at his disposal."

"And he's using his office and rank to hide behind while he stalks and torments you," I informed him. I turned to Rory. "Are you willing to do whatever it takes to catch Gale."

"Only if you don't hurt him."

"You say he's sick. Will you be willing to admit your involvement and crimes against Peeta if we help you?" He nodded his head. "That's now good enough, I need you to swear to me that you won't turn on us."

"I promise."

"You swear on Prim's soul." He gasped. "Swear to me that you will help me catch Gale and swear to me in Prim's memory that you're loyalty is to me and to Peeta."

"I swear Katniss, in Prim's memory," he vowed, tears flowed from his eyes. I knew he had a crush on Prim. I may have been distracted and involved with the rebellion, but I knew enough to watch over my little duck. She was my focus when I believed that Peeta's was lost to me.

"Because if I find out that you're lying to me. And Peeta gets hurt because you broke your promise," I sneered at him. "I swear that you're mother will bury not one Hawthorne but two." Rory nodded his head.

"I want to make it up to you. To the both of you," Rory said, his hands shook. "Please." To my surprise, Peeta placed a gentle hand on Rory's forearm. To lay his hand on a boy whose brother had tormented and stalked him for months.

"We commit horrifying and unforgivable acts in the name of love," Peeta told him.  
"Katniss gave me a second chance. If you really are serious about this, you deserve to have a second chance too. But do it for yourself and for you family."

"What happens to me now?" Rory asked. Peeta turned to me.

"It's up to Katniss to decide." I gasped in surprise.

"Peeta, you are the one he injured because of Gale," I said to him. "You should decide what to do with him." He took me aside and leaned over to whisper in my ear.

"I can't Katniss," he spoke low and soft. "If I decide…" He closed his eyes. "I want to…I…I want to wrap my hands around his neck and watch the light in his eyes fade. He's not Gale but…" He panted, struggling to control his breathing. I realized that my Peeta may be sweet and gentle but there is a side of him that the Capitol exposed, a dark side of him that turned my Boy with the Bread to Capitol Peeta. His hands shook. I wrapped my arms around him letting him know that I'm there with him.

"Shh…you're okay Peeta," I comforted him. "I want to hurt him too for everything he's done to you. He and his brother have to pay for what they did."

Haymitch stuck his head by the entryway. There was a look of concern on his face. "Sorry, to interrupt but is everything okay?"

"We're fine, Haymitch," I answered him.

"It's just that we heard yelling then it got really quiet all of a sudden," he said as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"We didn't harm a single hair on his head," I chortled trying to lighten the mood. Peeta grimaced at my joke while Rory looked panicked. Haymitch lingered at the entryway, opening his mouth then closing it.

"Um…"

"Yes, Haymitch, you want something?" I noticed his demeanor.

"Dr. Aurelius called," he said. "I don't how to break it to you but…Eva was found dead this morning. When she didn't appear for breakfast, they checked in her room."

"What happened?" Peeta spoke, his voice quivered from shock.

"I really don't know the full details, but it looked like she took some pills," he added. "They think she committed suicide." Peeta's breath grew harsh and uneven. He looked to sick to his stomach. As for me, I'm relieved and felt justified. Since her capture, I had restraint my need to visit so I could choke her and commit great bodily harm. I wanted her dead. Should I feel bad that she is dead? No, I didn't. One down one more to go.

"I thought she was missing." Rory looked shock as he spoke. I leveled my eyes at him.

"You knew Eva. Eva Perry?" I questioned him. I'm close to exploding and adding him in my list.

"She Gale's lover," he shrugged. "They've been together since meeting at the Capitol after his indoctrination into the Guardsmen office. I just thought she was one of his many girlfriends."

"What the hell, Rory," Haymitch sounded. He too looked angry. "Please don't tell me that you knew and participated in Peeta's abduction. That you helped Eva abduct and tortured him."

"I didn't touch him, I swear," he stated. His forehead beaded with sweat as he eyed me. I was fuming. "I didn't even know that she…she was obsessed with Peeta."

"But you conspired to stalk him and that's okay? You shot him in the leg." I screamed at him. "What makes you think I should let Gale live after what's he done to Peeta."

"Rory, I commend your loyalty to your brother, but––" Haymitch interjected. I snorted in disgust as I held onto Peeta's hand.

"You followed your brother blindly," Peeta spoke. "You're old enough to know when you're hurting someone…committing a crime. You're just as guilty as he is."

Rory began to cry. "I know that there is nothing I can do to take it all back."

"There is something you can do," Peeta interrupted him. "You will confess everything you've done in writing so when the time comes. There is no doubt that Gale will be found guilty and that you conspired to stalk me…hurt me with Eva as his accomplice. She's dead. We have no proof to tie her to him and you're the only one that can confirm that he…is after me."

"As I see it, Rory," Haymitch added. "You coming here is a betrayal. I don't think he'll be happy to see you with us."

"I know," he admitted. "I didn't know what to do…he's so different now. He might hurt my mom. That's how much he's changed. I don't know him anymore."

"He'll come for you," Peeta stated. "When he finds out you're here. He'll think I turned you against him."

"I wasn't thinking," he said. "I just didn't know what to do. This is going to kill my mom. That was all I thought about. She was so proud of him, for everything he accomplished."

"The harm's been done," Haymitch sounded with finality. "You will stay with us. I'll find a use for you. In meantime, I have a call to make." He grabbed Rory by the back of shirt and dragged him out.

The rest of the day was stressful as we prepared and anticipated Peeta's first session. After talking to Rory, Peeta was quiet. Not somber but eerily calm. If I were he, I would be having anxiety attacks. His demeanor continued even to the last moment when we walked into the medical center for his appointment. We must have looked a sight as we entered the facility with Bron and Rory escorting us with rifles in their hands. Their rifles were cocked and loaded ready for an attack and to protect us.

Haymitch argued with Johanna and I as we resisted to the idea of adding Rory to Peeta's security detail. I didn't trust him. But Haymitch was convinced that Rory too was in danger from his own brother. It was better to keep him with us then having him running around lose. Who knew how Gale would react if he found out that Rory ratted on him.

Ahead of our detail was our newly appointed Guardsmen, Commander Johanna Mason.

Before leaving for the appointment, Johanna was called by President Paylor. She was gone for an hour until we departed when she appeared wearing the Guardsmen uniform with a rifle in her arms. By Paylor instructions, she was to head Peeta's detail with Bron and Rory as her subordinates. The new detail didn't bode well to Bron. He was basically demoted. She was ranked equal to Gale.

"You didn't have to take the offer," Peeta said to her. He was upset because with her as his bodyguard, she was placing her life in danger.

"I felt helpless and not in control," Johanna commented. "This way I have permission to shoot to kill. Gale will have to go through me to get to you." I shivered at the turn of events. "I swore to Katniss and to myself that no one will touch or hurt you." She looked formidable and at ease with her new job. "Besides, I told Paylor that this," she pointed to her new uniform, "is temporary." She winked at him. "I get to order people around."

Peeta held me for a few minutes before following Kara for his session. I tried to control my tears and anger. For his first session, Kara permitted Delly to accompany him. Not me. I was disappointed and hurt by the arrangement. "Katniss, don't be mad," he said as he rubbed my arms. "She's there as my nurse. Don't take it too personally."

"It's not fair," I spouted. "I should be there for you. Not Delly, I don't care she's your nurse. I'm your girlfriend." I'm not really angry at Delly but the fact that I won't be there, incase he needed me or something bad happens.

"It's time to go," Delly said as she waited for Peeta to release me from his embrace. He leaned down and kissed me. I felt bereft and empty as soon as he walked away.

"Peeta!" I shouted at him. He turned around just in time as I crashed into him. I wrapped my arms around his waist and smashed my mouth hard into his lips. He looked startled and surprised as I angled my mouth to kiss him deeper. With his hand on my lower back, he pressed his hard length onto my stomach. I moaned in need and desperation as I thought of ravaging him in the middle of the hallway. Delly admitted that she was hungry and horny all the time because of her pregnancy. I didn't have any excuse; his proximity alone awakened a hunger that couldn't be satiated no matter how many times Peeta made me cum. A splash of reality disrupted our passionate kiss and groping as Delly cleared her throat reminding us where we were. After a few seconds later, I whispered into his ear. "Please come back to me. Promise me that you'll stay with me."

"Always." With one last kiss, he walked away with Delly beside him as she fanned her face. She said something to him causing him to laugh in return. He turned around and mouthed, 'I love you' before disappearing further into the hallway leaving alone.

An hour a half later, Delly brought Peeta back to me. His face was red and puffy a sign that he was exhausted from crying during his session. Kara just shook her head when Johanna asked how the session went. It wasn't the right time or place to have a discussion about it.

"Just make sure he eats and gets a lot of sleep tonight," she instructed us. "It was a difficult session but he did great, didn't you Peeta?'

He nodded his head as he hid face in the crook of my neck. "Come on, Peeta. Let's go back to the hotel." I knew the session was going to hard for him. He didn't say a word as I slipped my arms around his waist and held him for a second.

"Delly, remember what I said," she told her. Delly nodded her head.

"But he's okay, Kara?" Haymitch asked, concern and worry on his face. "He didn't have an episode?"

"He did great and no episode. You should be very proud of him," Kara praised Peeta.

When we arrived back at the penthouse suite he walked straight to our room and lay down on the bed. He didn't even take his clothes off. He was asleep the minute his head hit the pillow. My heart ached for him since there wasn't a thing I could do to help him. I kissed his head and left him alone to sleep.

"Delly, I know you can't tell me what he talked about, but how was he really during the session?" I asked her. She smiled but it was a sad smile.

"Actually, he told me before the session that if you asked, I can tell you what he talked about. If any of you asked, I could tell you." she informed me. "He said that he didn't want it to look like he was keeping something from you. And since I'm also his friend as well as his nurse it wasn't fair or right that you weren't there with him. He even told Dr. Aurelius so."

"Oh, so what did they talk about then?" I had an idea but I needed to hear it from her to confirm it.

"We talked about his mother and his family," Delly supplied as tears brimmed her eyes. She stopped for a moment then began, "I knew she was…a witch but…I never realized how badly she treated him. Dr. Aurelius asked if he could remember the first time she…hit him." She sobbed. "I always assumed that living in a bakery, he lived well. I envied him for having all that bread and pastries around him. He said that they never had fresh bread and that sugar was an expensive commodity even for him to have. They only time he had a treat was on his birthday."

I gasped in shock at her revelation. I too assumed that he was lucky to live in a bakery with all the fresh bread at his disposal. I was wrong, we all were.

"You know what's sad?" she continued. "He didn't' even get a birthday cake on his birthday but a damn sugar cookie with his name on it. She was that damn stingy and selfish to even give him a fucking birthday cake. Just one day out of the whole year and she gives him a cookie. Not a cake or cupcake but a fucking cookie." I was surprised that Effie didn't reprimand Delly for cursing. She too was appalled and horrified with Peeta's mother.

"He was only four, Katniss. She hit in the face, slapped him for taking a cookie because he was hungry. Then next time she hit him again she made him place his hand on a table and hit him with a metal spatula."

"And where was his dad and brothers when all this happened?" Johanna asked. There was angry and rage seeping through her eyes. I could imagine Peeta four years old with his curly blond hair and blue eyes. He would have been an adorable baby. How could she have struck him for being hungry?

"They did nothing," Delly spat. "They were afraid of her. They were so afraid of her that she tormented and abused Peeta and his brother for years and his father did nothing." She cried and continued.

"She got worse when he was eight when he asked her for a sugar cookie to give to a classmate. He said she was so mad when she found out who it was for." She turned to me.

"I don't know if you remembered, Katniss. But do you remember him showing up with a black eye that year?" I nodded my head. "He told his teachers and classmates that he was fighting with his brothers." I remembered that year when we were eight because with his pale complexion, the bruise stuck out. It took weeks to heal. I remembered the whispers and gossip regarding his black eye.

"The sugar cookie was for you, Katniss. For your birthday." My stomach plummeted and I wanted to vomit. "Then she slapped him really hard on the face when we were ten because he was going to give you a birthday card he made by himself."

"What a fucking bitch," Johanna said. "Too bad that woman is dead."

"After that incident he learned to hide his feelings for you," Delly surmised. "His mom hated the Seam and for Peeta having a crush on you, she took it out on him the most. When she got upset or mad for no reason, it was Peeta she abused. He was the youngest, the baby in the family and she beat him." I couldn't take it anymore.

"Excuse me." I ran out and headed towards the room I shared with Peeta. He was still asleep when I slipped beside him and placed my head on the crook of his neck. He whimpered in his sleep while his eyes moved behind his eyelids. He was dreaming. I kissed his forehead as I let my lips linger on his skin.

"I promise you, Peeta," I whispered. "No one, no one will ever hurt you again." I'm closed to tears as he grimaced in his sleep. No doubt he was having a bad dream. "Shh, baby, I'm right here, Peeta." I flicked an errant hair on his forehead. He was in need of a haircut but I didn't say a word since I love running my hands through his hair. It was thick, soft and luscious. I love holding onto his locks while he was occupied between my legs; an image that was permanently imprinted in my brain.

During dinner, he spoke and ate little. I had to coax him to eating his entire meal reminding him that he needed his strength for his next session.

"I love you," I whispered into his ear for no one to hear but him. "Do you love me?"

"I do, love you," he said without any hesitation.

"Than eat. I want you strong and healthy for tomorrow," I said to him. It took close to an hour but he ate what was served on his plate. For the rest of the evening, we lounged at the rooftop staring into the starry sky.

I woke up the next morning achy and tired. I spent most of the night watching him sleep as he twisted and turn in our bed. I was already up, on my side and staring at him when he opened his eyes and smiled at me. "Good morning, baby." I shivered when he slipped his hand underneath my tank top on my hip. "Are you cold?" he asked noticing the goose bumps on my arms. I shook my head and arched my back as his hand slipped into my panties. "Is this okay?"

"Oh god, yes," I sighed as a finger slipped between my folds. "Peeta, I want to––"

"Katniss, you're so wet," he commented. With his free hand he lifted my tank top exposing my nipple into the cool morning air. I was warm to his touch despite the air conditioning cooling the room. "I want to see you cum. "

Before I could demand that I wanted to…needed to pleasure him, he wrapped his warm lips on my already aching nipple while he swirled his tongue around my hard bud. His other hand was busy curling into my center thrusting in and out in a slow and deliberate measure. This was not what I had in mind. I wanted to distract him for a few minutes, share an intimate moment before he attended his next session. "I need to see you cum while you fuck my finger. I want to remember the taste of your nipple while you cum."

"Shit…I need you too." I moaned. My hands grabbed his head loving the feel of his hair between my fingers tips. I could deny him nothing that I failed to realize that his cock was soft underneath his boxer shorts. I grunted my release. Waiting to catch my breath, I was barely aware of him removing my panties and spreading my legs wide with his eager hands.

"Fuck," I screamed when his mouth latched into my center making me short of breath. I squirmed and panted as his tongue licked and nibbled my swollen clit. His strong hands were clasped together on my stomach as he wrapped his arms from beneath my thighs. I didn't know what to do with my hands as I grabbed the sheet beneath me seeking purchase. I lifted my lower body as his tongue found a sweet spot causing me to lose focus on anything but him. "Peeta, Peeta, I'm going to…to cum." I whimpered as he moaned into my center sending a vibration from vagina to my arms and legs.

"Shit, shit…fuck…I need more." I screamed his name so loud, I'm certain that everyone heard me even the occupants in the floor beneath us. He had a smug and proud look on his face. My lower lip quivered from my release. My legs, I couldn't feel my legs.

"Good morning, baby" I said as I placed both ands on his face. I reached over and kissed him.

"Good morning, indeed," he answered back. "You're so beautiful. I'm going to remember this moment with you cuming with my fingers inside you. That and our last night in District 1." My center grew wet at the memory of that night.

I pouted at him. "Peeta, it should have been you this morning not me––" He shook his head. I quivered at the sight of him licking his fingers.

"Kara said that I had to find a memorable and happy memory to latch on to when I start to feel…lost or withdrawn."

"Then be my guest. We can do that anytime you like," I teased him. "You're so wonderful and generous with me." Teasing aside, I had to ask him how he was feeling.

"Are you okay, Peeta," I inquired. "You can tell me if you're scared or want to stop the treatments and sessions."

"I can't give up," he sighed. "If I give up now, the Capitol won. Eva and Gale won. Yesterday's session was hard but I'm glad I did it." He half straddled his body over mine making sure he didn't suffocated me.

"I'm glad you think so," I conceded. If he were having second thoughts, I would have encouraged us to go home back to 12. "I know you can do this, you're the bravest person I've ever known."

"I'm not brave, Katniss," he confessed. "I'm doing this for us. If you weren't together, I would have been wallowing in my house and hiding from the world." He snuck his hand underneath my tank top and drew circles on my stomach. It didn't take long before I was wet again but didn't push for anything more. I needed to go in his pace and mood because this wasn't about me and my needs. After a few minutes, I felt something hard and firm on my thigh. "You make me very happy.' He sighed.

I reached inside his boxer shorts and wrapped my hand around his erect cock. He hardened quickly at my touch. "Katniss," he hissed in pleasure as he arched his back.

"Hmm…how about I add a new memory for you to take in your next session," I whispered while my hand pumped his cock from root to tip. Speechless he nodded his head as I crept down and yanked his shorts off of him. It was a good morning, indeed.

We had an uneventful morning as we waited for Peeta's next session. His mood was upbeat and his appetite was hardy. I guess a couple of orgasm can do wonders to one's appetite and mood, not that I'm complaining either. We took separate showers after breakfast. Both Delly and Johanna was relentless as they teased us explaining that my screams of pleasure woke them up. We didn't want to add more ammunition to their teasing for it was certain that Peeta and I would not be able to keep our hands, mouth and certain parts of our bodies away from each other.

"We don't need to set the alarm clock in the mornings," Delly teased Peeta. "Just try to keep it down before five, okay?"

"Don't mind her, you two," Johanna chortled. "She just jealous because she isn't getting any." I blushed feeling the warmth cover my cheeks and ears.

At the medical center, again I was denied to attend his appointment. This time it was Haymitch who accompanied him to his session. Sad and resigned, I sat inside the Visitor's Lounge as Johanna stood watch at the doorway while Bron and Rory walked the hallways. Peeta had been in his session for 45 minutes when we heard a commotion coming from the hallway. To my shock and horror we discovered Rory with Gale's arm wrapped around his neck in a chokehold. "You little shit," he said, his teeth clenched and eyes enraged. "This is how you repay me. I trusted you, Rory––" He struggled to breath as Gale squeezed him harder.

"Gale, please stop," he wheezed. Rory may be as tall and built like Gale, but he didn't have his strength and muscle. He wasn't any match in fighting Gale in hand-to-hand combat.

"What the fuck," Johanna screamed as she lifted her rifle and aimed it at Gale. "Let go of Rory, Gale." Bron raised his rifle besides her. My hands itched for my bow and arrow. Gale wasn't wearing his uniform. It was odd and sad to see the two brothers fighting. The Hawthornes were a closed knit family. They were tight and looked out for each other. Hazelle raised them well even without a father figure to guide them.

"I've been suspended because of you," Gale gritted his teeth ignoring everyone. "You ratted on me."

"I'm not covering for you anymore, Gale," Rory stated. "Let go of me. You're hurting me."

"I'm hurting you," he exploded. "How do you think I felt when President Paylor suspended and Mason was appointed as Commander to the Guardsmen, all because you didn't back me up?"

"She asked me where you were and I didn't know so I wasn't lying when she asked me," Rory explained. "I'm not about to lie to the President of Panem. Not even for you." It seemed that Gale had abandoned his job and responsibilities. If I guessed correctly, he was probably looking for Eva.

"You have five seconds to let him go," Johanna stated. She was cool and calm as she took a step forward. "What are you doing here?"

"It's a free country, Mason. Besides I don't need an excuse to see my brother," he said as he jerked his arm around Rory's neck causing Rory to choke gasp for breath.

"How did you know he was here?" Bron inquired. He looked angry as Johanna.

"I have my sources," Gale spoke.

"Do I have to remind you that you are in Peeta's protective order," Haymitch reminded him. "You're not to be in his presence within a 50 yards radius."

"Well, seeing that he's not here, I'm not breaking any law, am I?" He was smug and snarky. A new trait he developed after the war.

"Well, Katniss has a protective order against you too," Haymitch informed him. "And you are on the top of her list as well." I scrunched my brow in surprise. _'When did that happen?' _I wondered. I turned to Johanna; she had her rifle aimed at Gale's head. I've seen her with an axe but not with a rifle so I'm certain not of her accuracy or aim.

"Hey, Catnip," he smiled at me. I felt sick, disgusted and furious.

"Don't ever call me that." I seethed in anger. "Catnip died the moment I set foot in the arena. I am Katniss Everdeen, former Victor of the Hunger Games. The sister of the girl you murdered."

"How many times do I have to tell you that I'm sorry," he screamed. "It wasn't my fault that Prim was there that day." Having forgotten Rory for a moment, he elbowed Gale in the ribs causing him to release him. He grabbed Gale by shirt and slammed him against a wall.

"Don't you ever mention her name again," Rory roared into his face. "She died because of you."

"Rory?" Gale said in surprise. "Listen, bro. She went to a war zone on her own free will. Not my fault she got killed during the explosion."

"Your bomb killed her," Rory bellowed. "You set out to kill innocent people. She was there as a healer."

"There are always casualties in a war, Rory," he said in a nonchalant manner.

"Fuck you," I screamed at him. He didn't and wouldn't take responsibilities for the harm and damaged he'd done during the rebellion even if it meant taking innocents lives like Prim. He meant to win the war regardless who got hurt or killed. She was just a casualty.

"Let him go, Rory," Johanna instructed him. Rory ignored her. "It's an order and I'm not going to repeat myself." As his leading officer, he released Gale and punched him in the stomach. Gale doubled over placing a hand on his abdomen. He looked up and raised both his hands in surrender when he realized that Johanna, Bron and Rory raised their rifles at him. "Don't move, don't even think for that matter."

"Traitor, "he spat at his brother. Rory was teary-eyed as his hands shook. "I'll never forgive you for this."

"You're not my brother," he returned. "I don't know you are." I'm disgusted by their rant. They're both assholes. I needed to focus on Peeta. '_Peeta,'_ my mind echoed over and over. He was my priority. I have to keep him safe and out of harm's way.

"Johanna, he can't be here. Get him out of here before Peeta comes back," my voice quivered in fear. I also needed to be strong for him as I stood my ground before Gale.

"I'm not going anywhere, Catnip?" he sneered in derision. "Mellark is a fucking wimp, I still can't believe you let him touch you." I narrowed my eyes at him. I wasn't about to lower myself to his level. But Johanna didn't care less as she spoke.

"Oh, Hawthorne, you must not be watching the news," she scoffed at him. "They do a lot more than just touching." Gale reacted in disgust and anger. "Just ask anyone here." She was referring to the video of us kissing and groping each other during out date at District 1.

"Does he still hide behind your back? I bet his mommy beat the shit out of him," he laughed. "He's a poor excuse of man, Catnip." My anger grew. I didn't recognize the person in front of me. The Capitol tried to turn Peeta into a monster and failed. They tried to reprogram him into a killer when in actuality; the real monster was hidden in my old hunting partner. Rory was right. He was sick; sick in the head. Was he always like this but I had refused to acknowledge it?

Denial and avoidance, it was how I reacted to certain events and people in my life. I was never strong enough to confront my feelings. Until now. I walked over to him and was about to slap him again when he anticipated my move. Gale held onto my arms in a tight and hurtful grip.

"You hit me twice already," he mentioned. I stared at the white scar on his left cheek. A souvenir from my arrow I used when I struck him a second time. "I'm not about to let you hit me again."

"Oh, shit," I heard Johanna cursed behind me. I turned around to find Haymitch holding Peeta by his shoulders trying to restrain him while Delly stood helpless beside Johanna.

"Katniss," Delly yelled. I ignored her as I watch noticed Peeta's eyes and body language.

I swallowed the bile that gathered in my throat. "Peeta?" I uttered his name, soft and low. His beautiful blue eyes were hard and cold. There were remnants of tears on his cheeks. His fists clenched and unclenched beside him.

Seeing Gale and I together must have triggered him after his session because he walked over and grabbed me by the arms and shoved me against wall. I didn't want to hurt him. I couldn't. Capitol Peeta resurfaced and there wasn't a damn thing I could do but surrender to my fate.

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_**AN: Thank you for your patience and reading this chapter. Hope you enjoyed it. Have a great weekend. **_


	44. Chapter 44 - In the Eye of the Storm 2

Chapter 44 – In the Eye of the Storm 2

_AN: A special thanks for everyone who alerted and favored the last chapter and to my reviewers [Trude, Matainer, Aqua Rules, LACR, kamjam, rebecca1974, Tea4e, Lillian, wonderishome and guests] I'm very pleased that there are a few amongst you that are still reading my story. Any mistakes or errors found are mine. Hungry Games belongs to Suzanne Collins. Please do not read any further if you are offended by the mention of abuse and foul language. On with the show…_

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**Haymitch POV ––**

_One hour earlier_

'Fuck me,' I said under my breath. I grimaced as I watched Delly and Kara prep Peeta for his session. I thought they were kidding when they said that they needed to 'prep him'. To my knowledge having a session with Dr. A. involved sitting with him while you spilt out your feelings. Nothing I cared to experience since talking about my inner most thoughts and feelings were nobody's business but my own.

His prepping involved taking a quick brain scan and blood sample before telling Peeta to take deep breaths through his mouth and exhale out his nose. It was a short exercise but effective since he was anxious and nervous. After a couple of minutes, he relaxed. To my surprised both Kara and Dr. Aurelius alongside Delly were present during his session. _'Too many damn people in the room if you asked me.'_ my mind screamed.

Kara gave Dr. Aurelius a look. It was a look that disturbed me. It was as if they were having a private dialogue concerning Peeta and not sharing it with us. She looked crossed while he was sheepish. I had spoken to them both days before threatening them with bodily harm if they concealed or withheld information with his treatments. I hate doctors and hospitals. If there were a slightest chance that his treatments would damage him permanently or kill him I would have objected to it. But ultimately it was Peeta's choice since it was a decision regarding his life. He's a brave boy our Peeta for undergoing and exposing himself for all of us to hear. I can't help but admire him for it.

As for Peeta, he was resigned and weary to the activity around him. He didn't flinch when Kara drew his blood or attached electrodes on his head to monitor his brain activity. I must admit that he looked healthy despite that fact that he still needed to gain more weight for a young man with his height and age. It was sight as I watched all three girls cater to his need at every meal. He was always well cared for by these amazing young women. Peeta was a remarkable young man, sweet and endearing. You couldn't help but love him.

After the prep Kara and Dr. Aurelius waited for the results of his scans. Peeta lay on a lounge chair, his breathing was even as he stared at the light fixture above us. Beside him, Delly said words of comfort and support while she held his trembling hand.

"Do you want your drawing pad?" she asked him.

"I wish Katniss was here," he told her. She gave him a sympathetic look and ruffled his hair.

"You need to cut your hair," she commented. "I don't understand how Katniss lets you walk out the door looking like hobo."

"She says I look sexy and doesn't want me to cut it at all," he smiled and blushed. After a few seconds, he had a wistful look on his face. "I wish she was here."

"Next time, Peeta," Kara informed him. "She can attend your next session." He nodded his head. I wondered why Katniss was not here instead of me. I found it odd that was she excluded from yesterday and today's sessions.

I was sick to my stomach after Delly revealed Peeta's session the day before. I too wished his mother were alive so I can beat the shit out of her for abusing the kindest and most sweet-natured person I have ever known. You see, Katniss, Johanna and I were made from the same stock. Our own personal experiences left us jaded, cynical and bitter with the world. We didn't trust easily or forgive when betrayed. He was not a killer like us. Peeta hated violence and strived to preserve life around him. Killing or taking a life was not in his nature. He would die for you and would only kill for the people he loved.

Despite his upbringing and having that fucking woman as a mother, it's no wonder he didn't join our little club. But Kara was right; he has suppressed or repressed emotions that were bound to affect his treatments. All his ghosts and demons must be laid to rest if he was to survive his treatments.

A few minutes later, his results arrived and he was cleared to begin his session. For some reason Dr. Aurelius vacated the room leaving Kara, Delly and I in attendance.

"You know the drill, Peeta," Kara said to him as she touched his forearm. Peeta released Delly's hand. She walked to the other side of the room and sat in front a couple of monitors. Then Kara also removed herself from his proximity as she sat in front of him. "Take a deep breath and then start when you're ready."

Peeta took one deep cleansing breath and spoke. "My name is Peeta Mellark, the third son of James and Helen Mellark. I am 17 years old and I live in District 12. The Hunger Games are over and the world is free of President Snow and his Peacekeepers."

"Very good," Kara commended him. "How are you feeling today, Peeta?"

"My head hurts a little and I didn't sleep well last night."

"Have you given any thoughts to what I asked you yesterday?" she asked him, her voice was calm and soothing. If I weren't so nervous and anxious her tone would have lulled me to sleep.

Peeta was quiet for a few seconds. "I realized that it wasn't my fault that she…that my mother couldn't love me. She had set too high an expectation before I was born. She wanted a girl. It wasn't my fault I came out to be a boy, but it still hurts that she didn't love me regardless. She was my mom."

"So who failed whom, Peeta?" she asked him.

"She failed as a mother. She loved conditionally if at all. I never saw my parents in a loving way," Peeta revealed. "They were always fighting or avoiding each other. The bakery was the only thing that held them together. Even if she didn't love my father she still should have loved us." His eyes were brimming with tears. He wiped them with the back of his hand. "She failed herself as a wife and mother."

"Good Peeta," she remarked. "Your mother's inability to love you wasn't because you weren't lovable, but because she was incapable to love you or anyone for that matter." He nodded his head.

From across the room, Delly sniffled as she wiped her eyes with a tissue. Geez, these women are about to drive me insane. It was difficult enough to listen to this yesterday. Peeta's mother was a bitch and it was a well-known fact to everyone with the Merchants and the Seam. _'So why was I here?'_ I asked myself.

"Peeta, why don't you tell Haymitch why he's here," Kara sounded interrupting my train of thought. I gulped and squirmed in my seat as I wondered if she could read minds. Peeta sat up and drew his eyes toward me. He looked sad and uneasy.

"I was mad at you for the longest time," he started. "You were my mentor but after winning the games, I had thought you cared about Katniss and me. I thought you were my friend." He looked over to a wall avoiding my eyes. "I trusted you to watch our backs."

"Peeta," I choked down the bile gathering in my throat as he continued.

"You used us," he accused me. "You, Plutarch and Coin used us like chess pieces in a game we didn't even know we were involved in. I felt guilty for the longest time…when I revealed my…my crush on Katniss. I thought…I thought I was going to die in the arena. I just wanted her to know that I had feelings for her. Becoming the Star Crossed lovers was the last thing I wanted. She resented me for it. I didn't blame her for hating me. But you…you used it to fabricate and mold Katniss into the MockingJay." He sobbed back tears.

"Katniss and I were manipulated by both Coin and Snow. You weren't any better for throwing us into another arena of your making…the rebellion against the Capitol. How could you do that to us? How could you not give us the choice to live our lives as we saw fit? We deserved your honesty and respect as fellow Victors. I thought you care about us."

I didn't want to care about them; to help them only to watch them die. I had done enough when I mentored my first tributes. Their deaths devastated me because I had become their friends. I couldn't afford to feel like that again so I drank to numb myself.

"Take a deep breath, Peeta," Kara intoned. I had completely forgotten that she and Delly were present as I was focused on Peeta.

"I'm sorry, Peeta," I said with as much honesty I could muster. "We saw the chance and we took it. I was in too deep before I could fix it or stop it from happening. We've been looking and waiting for something to spark...some kind of hope."

"Why didn't you just tell us?" Peeta asked as anger tinged his voice. I looked at his wristband. He was still focused and not triggering an episode. But I can tell he was holding back his fury. I looked at Kara for guidance. She just nodded her head. I exhaled loud and deep.

"And tell you what, _'hey, Peeta, Katniss how would you two like to lead a rebellion against Snow and the Capitol?'_" I spoke in a mocking manner. "That would have gone really well." My ire was up and I was sick to death for having to defend myself for my actions to events long passed. "You wouldn't have gotten involved."

"So what, you took away our choice instead?" he simmered with anger. "At least, you should have given us a choice. You took that right away from us. We went into the arena scared, blind and unprepared. I was willing to die to keep her alive and all that time you were planning, scheming with Plutarch and Coin…endangering our lives for your own agenda."

"I knew that you both were carrying a lot of burden on your shoulders," I defended myself. "We didn't know if you could continue the charade or if one of you would accidently have said something. Too much was at risk."

"So in other words, you didn't trust us," he spat. I held back my anger as I watched his band turn green to yellow.

"It wasn't about trusting you," I sighed. "I wanted to keep you safe."

"So you led us to believe that we were safe with our new allies who were also in on it," he voiced. "You toyed with our lives, Haymitch. We may or may not have agreed to join the rebellion but you took that choice away from us. Do you honestly think that you would have stopped the rebellion even if the both of us didn't want it? You would have proceeded we whether liked or not. You would have put a gun to our heads just as President Snow had. You would have found a way to make us get involved. And Coin did with Katniss, did she?"

His observation stung because he was right. Coin would have gone with her plans with or without their approval. We meant to use Katniss as the symbol of our rebellion and Peeta as her source of strength and comfort. Without Peeta, she had succumbed to depression and hid from everyone. She became a liability and was useless. It wasn't until we discovered that he was still alive and was held captive in the Capitol that Katniss became an unwilling symbol. Her thoughts were only to save Peeta. We dangled a rescue attempt in order to motivate her…or at least emotionally blackmail her into leading the rebellion. She wanted him back, we needed her participation to rally all of Panem to support and stand with us. Peeta was bait for both Snow and Coin, using him so Katniss would do what we wanted. I felt sick to my stomach. No matter how altruistic our cause was; our methods mirrored Snow's.

"Have you ever thought or wondered that if Katniss and I had known what you were planning, we would not have separated that night," he pondered. "We would have stuck together and protected each other. We would have entered the arena with our eyes open." But I also knew that they would have never agreed to align themselves with allies to protect them. They would rather die then let other people die for them. They would have defied Coin as well.

"And I…I wouldn't have been…taken..." He shook and trembled as he placed both elbows on his knees and bent his head down.

I opened my mouth to say sorry, but it was futile. No amount of _'I'm sorry'_ could undo my decision to keep them in the dark. Also, my decision to keep the rebellion a secret endangered them anyway. We…I lost Peeta and Katniss that night. Their faith and trust in me was shattered. It was a betrayal nonetheless and a misguided attempt to keep them from harm.

"I just need to know one thing Haymitch," he said as he looked up. "Tell me truthfully, I need to know if Katniss knew…if she knew about the uprising and the rebellion and was I…as usual kept in the dark like some idiot or child who couldn't handle the chaos that was about to change my life forever."

"She didn't know, Peeta," I answered him. He looked at me with doubt in his eyes.

Peeta shook his head. "I don't know if I should believe you. You're such a good liar and manipulator. You'd lie for her too."

"I'm telling you the truth that she didn't know," I reiterated. "Why didn't you ask Katniss yourself?"

"I was afraid to find out the truth," he confessed. "That she also knew and played me like last time." He sighed. "It's not like she's never done that before. Lie to me and kept secrets from me. Justifying her actions by telling me it was for my own good. I'm sick and tired of people making decisions for me as if I'm incapable of making them on my own. I'm not stupid or weak and I hate that people around me seem to think I'm too fragile to decide things regarding my own life. You fucking don't own me. And it's my life you're fucking with."

"I know it's too late, but I'm really sorry, Peeta," I choked back words. "If I could change things…"

"I trusted you with my life…" he uttered as he looked devastated from the memories. "Most of the people I trusted and depended on have done nothing but disappoint me. You and Katniss the most. I've been so angry and lonely after the first arena and you both went on with your lives as if…as if I didn't matter…like some nuisance…a burden to you. I hated you both for helping me survive only to be thrown aside, ignored…and used at your convenience."

"It was never my intention to hurt you," I admitted.

"Well, Katniss never meant to intentionally hurt me but…"

I looked at Kara and wondered how these sessions were critical to his treatment. As I see it, Peeta's an emotional wreck, drudging back past hurts that weaken him. How is this conducive for his mental health? I had thought all this was resolved months before. That we had moved on.

"Listen, Peeta, I can go through my entire life apologizing for hurting and abandoning you," I stated. "For choosing Katniss over you…I can't tell you how much it killed me to not have saved you. I will never forgive myself for causing you both so much pain. But I would like to think that after all this time…we've moved on."

"Haymitch, I understood why you chose her. I can never be angry at you for making that choice," he said. "But it doesn't hurt any less even though I agreed and begged you to pick her over me. If I'm to proceed with my treatments Kara said that I have to come to terms with issues I couldn't face. You're not the only person in my life that has abandoned me…in favor over someone else. I'm used to it."

"Peeta…"

"I'm not trying to make you feel guilty," he croaked. "Kara explained that my triggers are not just about Katniss or you or him for that matter. It's more than that." He stopped for a second to catch his breath and choose his words. "When I'm angry or upset I don't express my anger or disappointment when I should have. I repress my emotions put it aside and not deal with them right away. I pile and catalog my anger at people…until it festers and build to a point that all comes out at once." I had always thought that Peeta was good-natured and even-tempered, but when pushed too far, his anger was just as explosive and scary to experience. What he said next stunned me.

"Thank you Haymitch," he smiled at me. '_Huh, what.'_ What could he possibly be thanking me for? He must have seen and understood the confused look in my face.

"When I came back to 12, you were there to welcome me home. You didn't have to do that, but you did. I never thanked you for that." I remembered that day as if I happened yesterday. I thought how sad and lonely he looked as he disembarked from the train with no one to greet him. It was the saddest and loneliest time of his life with no one to welcome him home. His family was dead and he was battered emotionally and physically. Little did we realize that he was slowly dying not just from the venom poisoning but also from inside. He was giving up.

"You would have done the same for me, Peeta," I acknowledged. He shrugged his head. "Seriously, Peeta hear me out." I coughed and cleared my throat. "I'm a mean and old son of bitch and you knew that…but you still took care of me after the first arena. I never told you or thanked you for watching over me while I drank myself to oblivion. You believed in me even when I didn't believe in myself." He smiled at me. "You took care of me and I never appreciated your concern for my well-being."

"I needed you, Haymitch," he admitted. "Only you had understood what Katniss and I experienced. Everyone expected us to go back to our lives as if the games didn't happen."

I nodded my head. When I came back from my games, I was angry and inconsolable. The nightmares of the tributes I killed haunted me. I survived my games but I felt as though I never left it. Year after year I mentored kids my age only to lead them to their deaths. I was sick with guilt that I drank to forget. It wasn't until Katniss and Peeta's victory that the thought of the rebellion seemed possible. We were looking for a sign and we found it.

The Star Crossed Lovers of District 12 sparked hope for a better future for Panem. For what kind of sign was better than two kids willing to die for each other…defying Snow and the Capitol. I just didn't realize how much we damaged Peeta and Katniss to attain peace for Panem. We sacrificed their happiness to achieve it. Thank god they found each other despite the trauma they endured. They were fated to free a nation but at a cost.

"I know I should have said this a long time ago but…" I struggled to form the words I longed to say. "I know that a lot of hurt has happened between us and I'm sorry. If I could redo things over I would. You and Katniss mean the world to me. I am honored to have been your mentor. But most of all I am honored to be your friend." Delly sobbed breaking the tension in the air. Kara who was always professional when she attended to Peeta even had tears in her eyes.

"Oh for crying out loud, Delly," I snickered at her as Peeta laughed. "And if you open your mouth and demand a group hug, I'll…I'll steal your dog." Well, how weak was that for a threat. I can barely take care of myself let alone a dog. She giggled back in return ignoring my outburst.

"Don't be mean to Delly, Haymitch," Kara advised me. "Or you'll be sorry. If you think she's hormonal now. Wait until she enters her third trimester." I shrugged my shoulders unaware of how true her warning would be down the road.

Kara stood up and walked over to Delly. She looked down on the monitors reading Peeta's stats. "How are you feeling, Peeta?" she asked him.

"Okay, I guess. My head doesn't hurt much but…" He lifted his hand and rubbed his chest. "My chest feels achy." She walked over and listened to his heart with a stethoscope.

"Your heart rate is normal," she stated as she looked into his eyes. "Your pupils are not dilated. You're doing well, Peeta. Is there anything on your mind? Something you want to talk about?" Peeta continued to rub his chest.

"I'm worried," he answered. "I know that these sessions are necessary and do feel a lot better but…"

"But?" Kara repeated.

"When I have my session with Katniss…I'm scared that I'll have an episode," he confessed. "I love her so much but I'm afraid that…I know I'm getting better but…what happens if I lose control? I don't want to hurt her and I'm afraid that I will."

"When you have your session with her, we're going to take every precaution to keep her safe." Kara informed him. He looked skeptical and unsure of himself. "Trust me Peeta. I wouldn't agree to this if I couldn't guarantee her safety."

"You promised me to keep her safe even from me?" he said to her.

"I don't make promises I don't keep, Peeta," she assured him. "I promise to keep everyone safe even you. You're my priority. Katniss can handle herself and I know that she would never forgive me if I did anything to hurt you." He still looked uneasy and forlorn.

"You did great today, Peeta," Kara smiled at him. "Is there anything else you want to say to Haymitch?"

"Yeah," he shook his head. "I've been thinking about this for some time. I didn't think it bothered me...so much that I was so angry about it."

"Don't be afraid to get mad or angry, Peeta," Kara advised him. "It's a normal reaction to express one's feelings. It doesn't make you a bad person. Actually, it makes you human."

"My mom was so angry all the time," he sighed. "I didn't want to be like her. She easily got made at me…for the simplest thing…accidents happens…but she made me feel like I couldn't do anything right."

"She made you feel small and insignificant," Kara added. Peeta nodded his head. "Peeta, you are your own person with their feelings, personality and opinions. It's healthy to get anger or frustrated. It's how you react to your anger that matters. You are not your mother. "

"Damn right, you aren't," Delly quipped. "You're better than her. She was a bitch."

"Thank you Delly for your assessment of Peeta's mother," Kara chuckled. "Anyway, I think for tomorrow you can take a break. The last two days have been very stressful and emotional. You can take a day off, so to speak."

"No session tomorrow?" Peeta asked.

"You need a break," she told him. "These past two sessions were hard for you and taking one day off won't hurt." Peeta smiled in relief. "Why don't take your girlfriend out on a date. Just the two of you if your new security detail can manage it." She looked at me.

"I don't know if that's a good idea––"

"That's a great idea," Delly agreed. "There's a restaurant that Bron took me once. It's very private and very exclusive…what's the name of that place? It's near the park overlooking the city landscape."

"The Signet," Kara answered.

"No it's starts with a C," she corrected her. "It has a water fountain in the middle of the restaurant."

"Cascades," I informed her. The reservation list was long. You had to book three months in advance if you wanted to dine there. But if Peeta wanted to take Katniss there the management would move heaven and earth to have the Star Crossed Lover dining in their restaurant by this evening. "We're supposed to keep a low profile while we're in the Capitol. I think going out would only make people suspicious."

"Well, why do they think they're here in the first place?" Delly asked in exasperation.

"Effie informed the media that Peeta was here to have a new prosthetic leg fitted," I explained to her. "And that Katniss was requested by her doctor for a physical examination." Part of this was true, Peeta did have to meet Beetee for a new leg, but the appointment was designed to cover his treatments. Peeta's hijacking was not a well-known fact. Panem knew he was tortured and abused but not hijacked to kill Katniss and that he still suffered episodes from the hijacking.

"They have to make an appearance at least once, Haymitch," Delly said. "Why not let Peeta and Katniss have dinner date like they did in District 1? It's harmless and the media will leave them alone for a while."

"Actually," Peeta interrupted us. "I want to make dinner for Katniss and have it on the rooftop of our hotel. It'll be private and close by without having Haymitch to worry over the security." Delly and Kara sighed at his suggestion. Leave it to Peeta to suggest a romantic dinner on the rooftop. The kid was a hopeless romantic. I guess women are into that sappy stuff.

"I talked to Effie about it. She can make the arrangements for me to make dinner at the hotel's kitchen." He shrugged his shoulders. "It's just an idea. And I thought of making dinner for everyone else while I'm at it. I can easily make dinner for 8 as well as for me and Katniss."

"I told you to relax, Peeta," Kara chided. "That sounds like a large undertaking."

"Delly and Johanna can help me," he concluded.

"It's a brilliant idea, Peeta," Delly commended him. I looked forward to a home cooked meal. I actually missed our family dinners back at District 12. "I'm sure Haymitch wouldn't deny you some alone time with Katniss before your treatments." She looked at me daring me to oppose Peeta's request. With great certainty, my life would be in hell if I said no to Peeta. We were out numbered with the females in our lives. I smiled to myself. I wouldn't change a single thing about it.

At the conclusion of the session, Kara had Peeta meditate for a few minutes. He closed his eyes and repeated his breathing exercise. As Delly unplugged the electrodes from Peeta, Kara took me aside.

"Haymitch, please make sure he's stress free for the next couple of days," she instructed. "It's critical that he's well rested when he has his session with Katniss." I nodded my head. "He's very fragile right now and I'm afraid that anything stressful will cause him to relapse."

After the session, Peeta walked beside me as Delly walked in front of us. He was pensive and still uneasy. "What wrong Peeta?"

"I'm scared, Haymitch," he confessed. "The next session is with Katniss and I'm scared that…she won't she…"

"Peeta, Katniss loves you." Delly interrupted us, as she stopped in front of him and planted both her hand on her hips.

"But what if…we never talked about…what happened between us," he said. His trembled as he bit his lower lip. "We're in a good place right now. She's everything to me and I'm afraid that in the session she'll…"

"Run," I added.

"What if after the session, she doesn't want me anymore?" he asked confessing his greatest fear. "I was really angry with her for the longest time…for abandoning me and choosing…him. What if she decides that she's better off without me?"

"Peeta," I tried to comfort him. "After everything you've been through…why would she go back to him? She loves you."

"Only because…she had no one left," he stated.

"Peeta!" Delly shrieked. "How can you say that?"

"I'm not tall and strong like him…even if she doesn't want him. She might want someone else; someone stronger and not damaged like me." he sobbed. "Someone not me. I was never good enough for my own mother, why would she want me? She didn't want me before."

"There is nothing wrong with you," I gritted my teeth in anger not at him. This was remnant of his mother's constant berating of his self worth. She damaged in mind and spirit. "You're mother was a bitch. She didn't see what a remarkable and amazing young man you are. And, Katniss love you for who you are. Don't doubt her feelings for you."

"I know that I should be grateful, happy even," he muttered. "But there will always be a part of me that will be jealous of what they had."

"And what did they have," I asked him. His next session was going to be painful and heartbreaking if I'm to guess what thoughts and emotions he repressed.

"A relationship based on friendship, a history. We weren't even friends, just allies relying on each other." Katniss really did a number on him. For all those times she ignored and denied him her feelings, he was still doubted her sincerity. The hijacking probably contributed to his insecurity as well. Delly slowed down and walked beside him. He smiled as she grabbed his hand

"What you have with Katniss is stronger than friendship," she assured him. "Yes, Gale was her friend for a long time, but she didn't looked at him the way she looked at you. She's crazy about you."

"I guess," he sighed. "I get insecure sometimes because I know she loves me…I can feel it…but when I get images in my head, I see them together and I'm afraid that when she's with him, she'll pick him all over again."

"She picked you Peeta," I said to him. "Maybe the next time you see her, get her a tattoo saying _'Property of Peeta Mellark'_ on her ass." I joked about it but I can see that he was ruminating the idea in his head. Sheesh, possessive much.

We walked down the corridor to find Johanna, Bron and Rory in the hallway. My eyes were directed to a sight I never thought I'd see anytime soon. It was Gale holding on to Katniss' arms. His face laced with anger. I could tell she was struggling to free herself from his grasp. "Oh, fuck me," I said to myself. This was not what I expected or wanted for Peeta to experience right after his session. Didn't Kara just advise me to make sure he had a stress free day?

"Katniss," Delly spoke with concern and fear. She turned to see Peeta whose eyes blinked a few times.

'_Not real, not real,' _I heard him whisper to himself.

"Oh hell," I murmured. Before I could react Peeta shot forward and grabbed Katniss away from Gale. He shoved her against the wall as I had a moment of déjà. My immediate thoughts had me reeling back to when he was rescued. Did the sight of them send him flashbacks? Was he being triggered with seeing Gale and Katniss together?

He had her arms pinned to the wall behind her, their bodies in contact from chest to groin. He parted her legs with his own. I stood frozen as I watched them. Blue eyes connected with gray. It was a few second as a silent conversation occurred between them.

"You're mine," he said to her. "You're mine. You're mine." The look on Katniss face was not of fear but of concern. She nodded her head as tears streamed down her cheek. "Tell him you're mine. You belong to me." She nodded her head up and down as a smiled appeared on her face.

"Yes, Peeta, I'm yours," she said in relief. She bowed her head, her forehead against his with their lips inches away from each other. "I'm yours. I'm yours, Peeta." He angled his head to kiss her just as Gale pulled him off her.

"You get away from you sick fuck," Gale shouted. Peeta stumbled backwards falling down on his back. He was stunned for a moment as he sat up and shook his head. Gale hovered over him then turned.

"Peeta," Katniss shouted. Just as Gale reached out to grab her, Bron pulled him back as he shoved him against the wall. Gale cried out in pain as his head bounced against the wall. Meanwhile, Rory walked over to Katniss holding her back by the shoulders.

"Get away from him, Katniss," Gale shouted to her. "He'll try to kill you again."

"Peeta," I shouted as I raced towards him. I picked him off the ground. "Are you all right?" I checked his eyes. They were unfocused but aimed at Katniss and Rory flicking back and forth between them. He was breathing hard, his face warm and red.

"Let go of me, Rory." Katniss said behind me as she struggled against him. "He wasn't hurting me. Let go, damnit." Peeta sidestepped me and grabbed Rory forcing him to let go of his grasp on Katniss.

"Peeta, Rory stop," she screamed at them. For a few seconds they wrestled each other on the ground. Rory may have height and strength like his brother Gale but Peeta was a formidable wrestler. It didn't take him long before he had Rory face down and pinned to the ground with his hands behind him.

"Get off my brother, Mellark," Gale yelled. Bron pressed him against the wall.

"Don't ever touch Katniss again," Peeta admonished Rory. He pulled back Rory's arms causing him to wince in pain.

"Let go of Rory, asshole," Gale shouted. "See I told you he's dangerous, he was going to hurt her. It's only a matter of time when he's triggered again. Katniss, he's dangerous."

"Shut fuck up," Johanna screamed. "Peeta, let Rory go. He didn't mean to hurt her."

"Peeta wasn't triggered," Delly bellowed at Gale. "He thought you were hurting Katniss. You were the one hurting her."

Peeta blinked a few times releasing Rory and closed his eyes. He sat back holding his head, scrunching eyes as if he was in pain. "Not now, not now."

"Peeta?" Katniss took a tentative a step towards him. "Baby, what's wrong is your head hurting?"

"Please make it stop, I can't…I can't…" he gritted his teeth. Tears brimmed his eyes. "I don't want to…I can't…"

"Get away from him Katniss," Gale continued to yell as he struggled with Bron. "See, I told you. He's not safe. He's a killer."

"Shut the fuck up, Gale or––" Johanna seethed with anger as she gripped her rifle in her hands.

"Or what, Mason?" Gale jeered at her. "I bet he's fucking you too, just like Delly over there." He smiled with a sneer on his face baiting Peeta to react.

It was a second but felt like a lifetime when Peeta finally opened his eyes. He stood up so fast I couldn't reach him as he ran over to Bron and shoved him aside. With his quick reflex he wrestled Gale to floor and had him a tight chokehold.

"Oh, shit, Peeta!" Johanna yelled dropping her gun. She tried to pry Peeta's arms off of Gale who was struggling to breath. "Peeta, let him go."

I grabbed Katniss away from them. She was crying. "Peeta, stop." Bron and Rory pulled Peeta away from Gale. He bent over holding his throat trying to catch his breath. I could detect a long bruise forming on his neck.

"Did you see that? He almost choked me to death," Gale spouted in disgust. "He dangerous, how can any of you not see that?"

"Shut up, Gale," Katniss screamed. "You keep away from him. Don't you dare touch him or I'll fucking kill you myself. After everything you to did to him––"

"Not real, not real," Peeta repeated. Johanna stood between Gale and Peeta.

"You violated the protective order, Gale," Johanna reminded him. "You are not to get near Peeta––"

"What the fuck are you talking about," Gale snickered back. "I came here for an appointment. You can check for yourself. I have every right to be here." He smiled He so smug and so sure of himself.

"Get out of here," I ordered Gale. "And stay away from Peeta and Katniss. Leave now."

"Haymitch, we can't let him go," Johanna yelled. "He––"

"He what, Johanna?" I repeated. "We need to take of Peeta. He's our priority." I stared into Johanna's eyes, challenging her. "He won't go anywhere." Johanna aimed her rifle at Gale.

"Katniss," Peeta screamed. "Katniss." It was the train station all over again. Memories of that day filtered into my head as Bron and Rory held onto Peeta. And in the middle of the mayhem was Gale. Peeta's eyes were glazed. His wristband was orange on the display panel. "Let go of me. He's going to hurt Katniss."

"I'm okay, Peeta," I yanked her backwards. "Stop it Haymitch, he wasn't hurting me. He needs me."

"See you around, Mason," Gale goaded her as he walked backward then turned to his brother. "I'm never going to forget this, Rory. You better watch your back because Peeta will get you one of these days when he gets an episode. You are all in danger because of him"

"Just fucking leave, Hawthorne," Johanna screamed. "So God help me I'll shoot you."

"You wouldn't dare shoot an unarmed man," Gale gloated as he raised his hands in mock surrender. He was right. If he did have an appointment he had every right to be in the building. However, I doubted that his appointment was on this floor. I would have to check up on that to make sure. We haven't made a move in accusing Gale for his crimes. Eva was dead and Rory was complicit in stalking Peeta. Gale can accuse Rory of stalking Peeta on his own. Hawthorne was selfish enough to frame his own brother to cover his hide. The one person who can identify his attacker was still incapacitated. With Peet's brain injury, who knew if he could remember the night of his assault? Gale continued to evade our attempts in incriminating him.

"Walk away and fucking leave us alone," Johanna roared. Gale turned and left the hallway. "I can't believe we let him go," Johanna spat. She was livid and I couldn't blame her.

"He's not going anywhere, Johanna." I added as turned back to Peeta and Katniss. "He doesn't matter right now. We have Peeta to take care of."

"Peeta, baby, look at me," Katniss spoke ignoring everyone as she focused on him. "Let me go to him, Haymitch. Please let me go to him. He wasn't hurting me."

"I know that," I said. "Just please calm down." Bron and Rory held Peeta down onto the ground. He sat upright with his legs in front of him.

"Please don't hurt me anymore." Peeta whimpered a few seconds later.

"Please let go of me, Haymitch. Look at him. He needs me. I think he's having a flashback of that night."

Peeta kept his eyes closed. "I need Katniss. I want Katniss." With a final tug, I released Katniss as she ran towards him. "Don't touch me, don't fucking touch me."

"Bron, Rory get off him now," she screamed again as she shoved Bron and Rory away from Peeta. "Peeta," she called out to him as she straddled legs. "Peeta, open you're eyes, baby. It's me Katniss."

"Not, real, you're not real," he repeated to himself swaying back and forth. His arms were crossed around his chest with his head down. Taking a deep breath, Katniss pulled his arms apart and guided them around her waist. Then she reached over and tucked his head onto her chest. His arms were slack for a few seconds then coiled around her trembling body.

"I'm real, Peeta," she said in a soft and comforting tone. "Listen to my heartbeat." She tightened her hold on his head. "You're okay, baby. I'm here with you…and I'm never going to let Gale hurt you again."

"Katniss," he sobbed. "I remember."

"What did you remember?"

"He was there with Eva when…he was laughing at me because I couldn't…" he said in shame. "I didn't want her…I didn't want to…I wanted you…she got so mad at me because I couldn't get an erection. And he laughed at me. I couldn't tell if he was real. I just wanted her to get off me." He sobbed again. "He was there, Katniss. I remember hearing his voice, laughing and screaming at me." Delly was crying as Johanna gritted her teeth in fury. Rory had a look of confusion and shock on his face.

"He's fucking dead," Johanna sneered as she sat beside Peeta and Katniss. She grabbed his hand. "I swear Peeta. He's going to pay for what he did to you." Katniss kissed the top of his head.

"Delly?" Peeta whimpered.

"Yes, Peeta?" She walked towards the group and knelt besides them.

"I…hurt…my chest hurts," he croaked. Delly placed two fingers on his neck to check his pulse.

"It's beating really fast, too fast," Delly assessed. "Does your head ache too?" He nodded his head. "Let's go see Kara. You shouldn't leave without having her check you out." Kara was going to kill me. I failed to keep Peeta unstressed and relaxed right after his session.

"But, Delly, I saw her already," he whined. "I want to go home and lie down."

"After Kara examines you," she insisted.

"Delly's right," I agreed with her. "You have to have Kara check you out first before you go home."

"What's wrong with him?" Katniss asked, fear and worry on her face.

"I'm not sure, but it's best that we have Kara take a look at him," Delly answered. They all stood up from the ground. Peeta swayed as his feet touched the floor.

"Whoa, there," Johanna said. "Are you all right, Peeta?" she placed a hand on his arm.

"Just got dizzy. I think I stood up too fast," he said as he placed a hand on his forehead. "The room's spin…"

"Peeta," Katniss yelled. All three girls caught Peeta's inert body as he fell on the ground. _'Oh, fuck me,'_ I uttered beneath my breath.

* * *

**Katniss POV ––**

My Boy with the Bread was sleeping. I winced when I felt a bump on the back of his head as I ran my fingers through his curly hair. I smiled as I recalled a memory not a few days. He laughed at my horrified expression as he mentioned of getting a crew cut claiming that his long hair made him hot and sweaty. He was hot all right and sexy. The tips of his locks curled, as it grew longer. He was slowly maturing as more hair grew on his legs, chest and face. His five o clock shadow was rough against my skin but I love the feel of it. He looked sweet and innocent like as if all he endured never happened.

I panicked and screamed as I watched him fall on the ground. With his head on my lap I wait with bated breath as Kara looked him over.

"He just fainted, Katniss," Kara in formed me. She felt the back of his head. "He's going to have a bump where his head connected with the ground." She turned and glared at Haymitch. He flinched in response.

"But what about his heart?" I asked as I felt his heart beat against my hand. It was beating hard and fast.

"Seeing Gale must have stressed him," she surmised. "He's okay, Katniss. Just let him rest." She turned to Haymitch and Bron. "Take him to his room. He can sleep there until he wakes up." With ease and care, they lifted Peeta off my lap. She turned to Haymitch.

"Really Haymitch. Not even an hour and I have to hospitalize Peeta again," she admonished him.

"It wasn't my fault that Gale showed up," he defended himself. I ignored them as I focused on Peeta as they lead him away.

I gasped in surprise and admiration when I entered his room. In front of me was most beautiful and breathtaking painting I have ever seen. "Peeta painted that if you're wondering," Delly informed me. I shook my head.

"I knew he painted it," I told her. "Only Peeta can depict such beauty and grandeur. I knew he was artist because of his drawings, but I never thought he could paint like this." I stood in front of the mural as Bron and Haymitch lay Peeta on his bed.

"Go make yourself useful," Johanna addressed Bron and Rory. "We don't know how long we'll be here." Both vacated the room leaving Haymitch, Delly, Johanna and I with Peeta.

"Wow," Haymitch uttered as he stood next to me. "I've seen pictures of the mural, but nothing compares to seeing it for real. It's amazing." I smiled at his compliment wishing Peeta were awake to receive it. I looked around his room. The room was small with a window overlooking the city. It was a typical hospital room with a twin bed, table and chair. The room had light beige walls with light scones fixtures. It was pleasant and homey, not clinical and sterile. Johanna walked over to a panel and turned on the air conditioning.

"Dr. Aurelius told me that he caught several of the hospital staff having lunch and dinner here," Delly continued. "He let them stay as long as they cleaned after themselves. Maybe we can have Peeta's next session in here. So he can be comfortable." I nodded my head in agreement. Behind me Peeta moaned in his sleep. I turned to him quickly forgetting about the mural and everyone in the room.

"Peeta," I voiced as I placed a land on his cheek. He had a look of pain on his beautiful face as he continued to sleep. "It's okay, baby. You're safe." He grimaced at my touch.

"He's having a bad dream," Delly explained.

"Should you wake him up," Haymitch asked.

"Don't," Delly and Johanna spoke at the same time in a hushed tone.

"No," I said to him. "Don't wake him. He'll be confused and scared. Just let him be…if he wakes up, he'll look for me. Just keep quiet." Peeta continued to moan for a moment then settled. I rubbed the top of his head in a slow circular motion until he sighed and relaxed. "You're okay, Peeta." I leaned down and kissed his warm cheek.

"Katniss, why don't we get a cup of coffee while he's sleeping," Johanna asked me. I shook my head. I couldn't leave him.

"He's just resting. It's been a stressful day," Delly added. "I doubt he'll wake up any time soon. I'll stay with him. Go and relax. He's not going anywhere." I left with great reluctance. The further away we walked from his room, the more I felt bereft and lonely without his presence. Suddenly, a nurse appeared running through the corridor.

"Mr. Abernathy, Dr. Templeton sent me to tell you that Peet wishes to speak to you," she announced. Without a single word, Johanna, Haymitch and I ran to Peet's room. Kat was beside him with tears in her eyes. Kara hovered over him as she peered into his eyes.

"Do you feel nauseous or dizzy?" Kara asked Peet. He shook his head.

"A slight headache, but not too bad," he answered.

"Haymitch, Peet's getting better and we could go home soon," Kat said with a big smile on her face. "He's going to be okay. Dr. Templeton says that he doesn't have any brain damage."

"Hey, that's great news kid," Haymitch greeted him. "You look a whole lot better. How are you feeling?"

"Just like someone beat the crap out of me," he joked as Kat gasped in horror.

"Peet, that's not funny. You almost died," she cried.

"But I didn't and I'm okay," he comforted her. He smiled at us. I looked at him and wished Peeta was with me.

"I'm never letting you out of my sight," Kat swore at him. "The moment Kara clears you to go home, we're going back to our natural hair color and eyes, and back home to District 6." Both Johanna and I turned to Haymitch.

"I hired actors that closely resembled you, but Peet had dark hair and Kat is really blond," he explained. "They're done. Their job was done the minute Peet got hurt." I looked at my twin and a thought occurred to me.

"Why would you want to look like us?" I asked. I never understood how anyone would want to look like Peeta and me. I had a difficult time being me; let alone someone pretending to be me.

"The pay was too good to pass up," Kat explained. "And we knew the risks but…"

"It's okay," Haymitch said to Peet. "I never imagined that Gale would go after you like this. I never meant to put you two in danger."

"Well, we never expected Gale to be this obsessed with Peeta to hurt his look alike. Now we know he's beyond crazy. He's psychotic," Johanna stated.

"I should have been more careful and arranged a security detail for you," Haymitch said with a look of shame and guilt on his face. I took a few minutes to look him over. He seemed to have aged since the last time I saw him. Before he attended Peeta's session.

"It's all right Haymitch," Peet said as he took Kat's hand. "You explained the risks and we took the job knowing what we were getting into. Besides, it was fun for a while and enjoyed it while it lasted."

"Peet and I were happy to help out in anyway we could," Kat said. "But we're done."

"But before you go, I want you to know that I gave the local police my statement," Peet announced.

"You know who attacked you?" I asked. Peet handed Haymitch a folder. Inside were several sheets of paper covered with Peet's handwriting. It wasn't as beautiful to Peeta's penmanship.

"It's a copy of the statement I gave them," he stated. "And just in case, I had Kat send a copy to President Paylor's office and to the interim commanding Guardsmen." He winked at Johanna. "Dr. Templeton told us this morning. Congratulations, Ms. Mason."

"Wow, news travels fast," Johanna surmised.

"Are you kidding me," Kat scoffed. "It's been all over the news this morning that President Paylor suspended Gale for misconduct and abusing his office for his own personal needs."

"Anyway, we wouldn't want any of it to be misplaced or handed to the wrong hands," Peet continued. I looked at Haymitch in curiosity. He took a deep breath and handed it to Johanna, the interim commanding officer of the Guardsmen.

"We got him, Katniss," Johanna sighed.

"Not quite enough," Haymitch said in a wistful tone. "Gale can claim that Peet collaborated with us. He can easily claim that we're setting him up,"

"Argh, damnit, why don't I just hunt the motherfucker and shoot him in the head," Johanna seethed.

"You can't," Kara told her. "You have been sworn in your office to protect the nation of Panem with all its citizens. You'll be just like him if you abuse that office the same way Gale has been."

"You'd be no better than Gale," Haymitch added. "And Peeta will never forgive you if you go after him. Both of you." He stared at Johanna and me.

"I'll risk it," Johanna spat. "It would be worth it to put that asshole six deep under."

"So would I if it meant to keep him safe and alive," I added, as I would endure Peeta's wrath and disappointment in me. At least he would be safe.

"Wow, you'd both sacrifice your life for him," Peet said in amazement and awe. "I guess it's true." I tilted in my head. "That he's all that. Worth dying for."

"I'd kill for you," Kat spoke.

"Okay, now," Haymitch scoffed. "I thought I was hanging out with crazy women in my life but you too." He pointed at Kat. She shrugged her head.

"Peet's my life," she said. "He's my everything." Peet blushed and kissed his wife's hand.

"Anyway, I think you should read the attached form on the next page," he instructed Johanna. She flipped the page over and her eyes grew large.

"Holy shit," she screamed. "You got to be…is this real?"

"Yup," Peet answered with a smile on his face.

"What is it?" I asked.

"There's video," Johanna explained.

"What?" Haymitch asked, his eyes bugled out of his sockets.

"They have the attack on video," Johanna exclaimed. "This is the best news ever." My mind swirled at the information. This was what we needed to put Gale behind bars. It would end Peeta's nightmare. It would only be a matter of time when he would be free from Gale forever.

"And we just let him go, damnit," Johanna exploded.

"Johanna, calm down," Haymitch instructed her. "Like I told you, he's not going anywhere. All of Panem knows him. He can't hide forever." Johanna walked over to me and hugged me. I was too stunned and shocked at the news.

"It's over, Katniss," she whispered in my ear as she tightened her embrace. "We finally got him." I'm overjoyed but sadden at the event. It only took Peet almost losing his life to finally end this nightmare. I will be forever grateful for him.

"Just curious," I asked. "Why do you have a video feed in your house?" My curiosity was piqued. Johanna, Kara and Haymitch burst into laughter. There was a joke in there somewhere that I suspect involving Peeta and me.

"Well?" I waited for the inside joke to be revealed.

"Um, you see, Katniss," Kat blubbered. "Peet and I are actors."

"Okay, I know that––"

Kat turned a bright red as she looked back at her husband. He had a proud look on his face. "We work in the––"

"Oh for crying out loud just say it," Johanna chuckled. "They work in the adult film industry." _'Huh?' _

"What does that mean?" I asked. Johanna shook her head in amusement. "What?"

"They're porn stars," Johanna cackled. _'What?'_ "They get filmed while they have sex as the "Star Crossed Lovers of District 12."

"Oh," I responded as absorbed the information. Then it dawned on me. Peet and Kat have sex as they pretend to be Peeta and me. "Eww…that's..." Everyone continued to laugh even Kara joined in. I'm horrified and embarrassed. Now I could barely look at Peet and Kat imagining…

"I don't envy your life, Katniss," Kat said. "But I wish you and Peeta a long and happy life together." I smiled back at her. They can make fun of me as much as they want. I'm too happy to be bothered by them.

I felt light as if a load was lifted from my chest. I couldn't wait to tell Peeta. Kara asked to accompany us back to Peeta's room so she can be there when we broke the news to him. We got Gale right where we wanted him. With the help of Rory to confirm Gales' activities and Peet's statement and video, we had enough to put him in jail and get him out of our lives. It just seemed to good to be true that luck was on our side. My heart leapt of the thought of telling Peeta everything that has transpired while he was asleep.

The only obstacle was his treatment. I pray that all goes well and we could finally heal together. I couldn't contain my joy as I walked faster to his room. However, my heart plummeted and my joy turned to fear as I watched a couple of hospital attendees entered Peeta's room. Bron and Rory remained by the doorway peering inside.

"Just stay back, damnit." I heard Delly's voice echo in the air. Then I heard his screams.

Peeta's screams were filled with fear and agony. I ran inside to find the room in shambles. There was broken glass on the floor and his bed tossed aside. Peeta wedged himself into the corner of the room. He was sitting on the floor, knees tucked into his chest as his bloody hands wrapped around them. In his right hand he clutched onto a large piece of glass. His eyes were closed as chanted to himself. "It's all a dream."

"What happened?' I asked Delly. She looked lost and scared.

"He woke up and…he looked around the room for a second," she explained. "He started screaming 'it was all a dream' over and over. I think he woke up disoriented and believes that he's still in the Capitol after the rebellion when he was recuperating."

"Damnit," I yelled to myself. It was a mistake to have left him sleeping there then waking up without me by his side.

"Katniss, he's not having a flashback," Kara explained to me as she assessed the situation. I nodded my head in understanding as tears brimmed my eyes. With all the stress that he experienced in the last few months, he was not having a flashback but a mental breakdown. His sessions and the encounter with Gale overwhelmed him.

I knew this was it. Every feeling, resentment or emotion he suppressed because of me need to be addressed. It was time that I put all the cards on the table. I couldn't wait until tomorrow because time was not on my side. My session with Peeta had just begun whether I was ready or not.

* * *

_**AN: Sorry, another cliffhanger? We're close to the end. Maybe two or three more chapters, may five at the most depending on how I break up the rest of the story into manageable chapters. Hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. Have a great weekend. ;p**_


	45. Chapter 45 - Aftermath: Devastation

Chapter 45 – Aftermath: Devastation

_AN: A big thank you for my reviewers [wonderishome, rebecca1974, kamjam, LACR, Matainer, 32sheshe and guest]. And also a thank you for those you alert and favored my story. They are always welcomed and appreciated. All rights belong to Suzanne Collins._

* * *

**Gale POV ––**

"I'm going to fucking kill all of them," I seethed in fury as I entered my home slamming the door behind me causing the frame to rattle upon impact. "I can't believe my own brother would betray me like this." I walked straight into my monitoring room which had a large mirror designed with a bar set. I pulled out a tall decanter from one of the shelves with liquor and glasses. I never had a bar set before. It was a luxury I am well acquainted with supplied with wine and the finest liquor from the Capitol. I stashed three Winter Solstice on a shelf. I saved three for special occasions, one to celebrate my engagement to Katniss, the second to be served just for our wedding night and the last on the birth of our first-born son. They sat at the shelf taunting me.

"You should give the bottles of Winter Solstice to Peeta," Eva goaded me as I opened a bottle into a large glass. I gulped the drink in one take. The taste burned my throat. I reveled in the burning sensation as I poured another glass.

"Those bottles are for me and Katniss." She continued to smirk at me. "Can't you fucking leave me alone?"

"I'm here by your own making," she voiced sooth and seductive. "I'm here because of you. Why else would I be here?"

"Just leave damnit," I roared into an empty room. I reached under the bar and pulled out a bottle. My hands shook as I pried the lid open. Empty. It was empty. In rage, I threw the bottle into the mirror behind me shattering glassware stacked on a shelf. I blinked my eyes as I watch Eva appear besides me.

"Look at you, the might hero of Panem, Gale Hawthorne," she snickered, her teeth bared and gleaming. "You're nothing but a drunk and drug addict. You're a poor excuse for a man. No wonder she picked him."

"Shut the fuck up, you whore," I screamed.

"You've been bested and thrown aside by a weak, whimpering, short blond hair boy. He's a better man than you."

"Shut up. Shut up," I bellowed at the image before me. She wore a blue dress similar to the dress Katniss wore at her first reaping. It was that moment that I had lost her not just to the Capitol but also to…him. "I'm more than a man than he is." Eva laughed loud, her voice resonating in the air as her eyes twinkled.

"Even with one leg, you fell short to Peeta Mellark," she goaded me as she looked down my groin area.

"Don't fucking say his name."

She licked her lips. "He's…better equipped than you. He's a wonderful lover." I laughed remembering his pleas as he begged for his life as she tortured him.

"He couldn't even put out if I remembered," I reminded her. She walked over and leaned close to my ear. "And despite that, Katniss Everdeen chose him over you. I bet that she had no problem _'curing'_ him. I bet he's an excellent lover. Generous, always putting her pleasure first before his. Unlike you Hawthorne. You have so _little_ to give." I swung my arm hitting nothing but air causing me to sway and stumble with my feet. I looked around me; nothing or no one was there.

I poured myself another drink. I tried to erase the image of him holding her. Their heads close together. _'Tell him you're mine. You belong to me.' _He held her in his arms gripping her tight. I waited for her to deny him, to laugh at his face for his assumption that she belonged to him. I waited for him to wrap his hands around her neck…instead she said, _'I'm yours. I'm yours, Peeta.' _

How could she? How could she choose him over me? I kept her family safe and alive while she was gone. I continued to support and comfort her after the first arena. She wanted me after I got whipped. I felt it. She wanted me.

Then in District 13, she chose me even after he was rescued. I knew she was done with him after he tried to kill her. She was mine.

"She played you," Eva voice echoed in my head. "She loves him. Everyone saw but you."

"No, she pretended to keep up the act," I roared. "She said it wasn't real." I picked up the bottle of Winter Solstice and threw it across the room. It smashed on the wall, liquid dribbled down staining the white surface. Everything was white in my home, the walls and the furniture. I needed to erase and forget the ugly walls and dilapidated furniture in my home at the Seam. Everything was new, modern and expensive. I had a hovercraft at my disposal to go wherever I damned please and whenever I needed it. I portioned my salary to be deposited for my mother. Rory kept whining how the rest of family needed to be taken care of. Damn ingrates. I even had Rory recruited and given special privileges.

"She played you like she played everyone," she laughed. "She only ever wanted him. Peeta Mellark, with the curly hair and mesmerizing blue eyes. How can anyone not want him? He's the epitome of lust and desire. You saw how girls, women fawn all over him."

"No, no." I chanted over and over. "Shut up, shut up."

"Girls like Delly Cartwright love him," she kept on taunting me. "Even Johanna Mason. Hard, bitter and rigid girls like her love him."

"Mason's a bitch," I said with derision. "Delly Cartwright is a Merchant slut. Who gives a fuck about girls like them? He can have them for all I care. Girls are stupid if they fall for him."

"You mean like stupid girls from that restaurant who ought over his things, a fucking dinner napkin." Her eyes gleamed with amusement as I turned back to the mirror. "You saw the videotape of them dancing and kissing that night. Pressed together like lovers who knew each other intimately. Do you think that was an act? I know desire and lust when I see it. It's there between them. Strong, solid and unmistaken." Her stuck out her mouth curling towards her front teeth. "Love and desire, it oozes out of them. You can feel it the air when they're together."

"She doesn't love him," I recounted. "She loves me."

"She loves Abernathy, but you don't see her looking at him the way she lusts after Peeta." I grabbed my head tuning her out. She knew nothing of my relationship with Katniss. Love like that doesn't just go away. She's under his spell. He had everyone fooled by his charm and personality. He was a fake.

"Why would she want you when she has him," she mocked me. "Even your own brother chose him."

"Don't talk about my brother," I howled in anger. Rory. How could he side with him? I remembered the moment when my trust for him was broken. The moment he betrayed me for him.

* * *

**_Flashback –– two days before_**

"_I'm here for a meeting with President Paylor," I announced myself. Nancy, or was it Nora I forgot which, smiled back at me before she notified Paylor of my presence._

"_It's good to see you again, Gale," she said corrected herself. "I mean, Commander Hawthorne." She then placed a call on her head microphone. "Commander Hawthorne is here for his appointment." She nodded her head. "You make go in, sir." I took a step and stopped as she called out to me._

"_When will I see you again, Commander?" she asked as her eyes gleamed. I grinned back remembering how I took her against the wall in my hovercraft weeks before. "I've been fantasizing over the 'tour' you gave me on our last date." Nancy or Nora, or whoever she was, was Paylor's secretary. We had been shamelessly flirting back and forth for months until I took our on a 'date' one night. Things had progressed fast as I seduced her that night and fucked her on every surface of my new home. We saw each other whenever my schedule could afford the time. So on our last date, I wanted to impress her with my own personal hovercraft. It was there when I took her over and over. She screamed my name as I fucked on the pilot's chair. Then she did the unthinkable._

_She asked if I knew Peeta Mellark. My lust turned to anger. I left her at the craft vowing never to see her again. I had just fucked her hard and fast and the first things coming out of her mouth was about Peeta. What do women see in him?_

"_I've been very busy," I answered back in a polite but cold manner. She didn't have a clue as she continued to flirt with me._

"Call me sometime when you're not busy and want to give me another 'tour." She winked and licked upper lip as she eyed me from head to groin. My cock twitched. I hadn't had a release for days since I've been searching for Eva. She had escaped from the mental facility days before. I knew I had to find her before Abernathy. I thought about taking her again during her lunch hour. Then I remembered why I didn't want anything to do with her.

_I nodded my head. I needed to keep cool and not get mad before meeting with Paylor. "I'll be busy for the next couple of weeks," I explained. I was going to ask Paylor to take a week leave using the excuse to visit my family in District 12. I would use that time to hunt down Eva. "I'm very busy and important man," I intoned. "I'll be too busy to give you another 'tour',"_

"_Oh, I doubt that," she snickered at me. "After your meeting, take me out to lunch." She turned back to work. Her flirty façade disappeared. Puzzled, but unconcerned, I walked into Paylor's office. I could have any woman I wanted. 'But not the one you really want,' my mind reminded me._

_Paylor sat at her desk in front of three monitors. Behind her were four large screens of all thirteen districts. It was as if she had transformed District 13 war room into her office. It was impressive. On her desk was a large colored photo of the destruction of District 12 with Katniss in the background. I had asked once why she kept that photo. She said to remind her why and for whom she fought for in the rebellion. _

"_There was a devastated and horrified look in Katniss' face," she remembered. "I'll never forget that look of anger and loss. It was not just 12 she was mourning for but the whole of Panem. I wanted to remind myself how much we all lost." I scoffed at her sentimentality. Snow was gone and the games were over. That was all that mattered._

_I was startled as three of her personal Guardsmen walked into the room rifle in hand. This was unusual as Plutarch was also there. I hated these weekly meetings. Once I week I reported my duties and activities. I hated it but I couldn't do anything about it or get out of them. I hated writing the reports. She had scolded me the first time I turned my report for writing an incomplete and unacceptable account of the districts progress. She wanted detailed reports of the local law enforcement_

_My first task as Guardsmen was to detain and maintain order in Districts 4 and 8 who had rioted months after the rebellion. I didn't see what the big deal was. People were rioting, end of report. So what if I used excessive force to stop the fighting. Wasn't that the reason why we were there in the first place? To put the rioters in their place? I wanted the job done and over with so I could get back to Katniss._

_It was what kept me away from her while Peeta maneuvered and charmed himself back into her life. So writing the reports kept me busy and away from her._

_I didn't do well in school. Didn't think I needed it since math, history or science didn't keep food on the table or clothed my family. It was useless to me. But now that I have new responsibilities and functions, I wished that I didn't resist and resented the education that was given to me. I thought it was a waste of my time. Why go to school if you were going to be reaped or died from poverty? I found and a nice young woman in the Guardsmen secretary pool named Charisma Mobley to write up my reports. She was mousy and overweight girl that was easily charmed. Maybe if she lost 20 pounds and wore makeup I'd fuck her. There wasn't anything charismatic about her. I would have to be drugged or drunk to do her. She was discreet with my activity since she could be fired. It was a win-win situation. _

"_Madam President," I greeted her with a fake smile on my face. I never thought there would come a day when I would be working for the next President of Panem let alone a woman. I had been resigned knowing that once Snow was dead Coin was next in office. It only made sense to me. She was the leader of the rebellion even though the districts followed Katniss. She was the symbol but Coin had the power. Or so she thought as she underestimated Katniss during the rebellion. I would follow Katniss to the gates of hell if she asked me to, but only is she was mine._

_Paylor wasn't weak. She was a strong woman who held her own ideals. I just didn't want to work for any woman especially her. She was a cast iron bitch. She rubbed me the wrong way with her appraisal and admiration of Mellark. I had thought she was smart enough to not fall under his charm. I had expected Mellark to be banished and detained at a mental facility. Just like Eva. Instead, she let him go home to 12, to Katniss. I can't wait for the next election to vote her out of the office and let a man govern us. Hmm, maybe I can run for office?_

"_Commander Hawthorne, please have a seat," she said formal and cool. The hair on the back of my neck stood as her guards stepped behind me. Without any formality, she spoke. "Can you please tell me why you didn't turn in your weekly report yesterday?"_

'_Oh, shit,' I said to myself. I was busy looking high and low for Eva that I had forgotten about my weekly report. I had ignored Charisma's text. _

"_I'm sorry, President Paylor," I winced in shame." I have no excuse for forgetting to write up my weekly report. I––"_

"_I have no time to listen to excuses. What so important that you could not do a simple task?" she asked calm and collected. I had to think of something quick._

"_I had a…family situation back home in 12," I started to explain as she pulled out a data pad and looked at it._

"_I see here that your designated hovercraft and pilot logged unscheduled visits to Districts 8 and 5 and 1. Care to explain the visits?" I'm shocked into silence. "You do realize that every trip you take whether schedule or not are logged and reported to my office." I didn't know that._

"_That craft was assigned to you for use under the office of the Guardsmen," Plutarch voiced as he sat beside me. Fat fuck opened his mouth with a smug look on his face. "We cannot afford or let anyone misuse such equipment for your whims."_

"_I was working ma'am," I bullshitted my way into an explanation._

"_And what 'work' were you doing under your office that I'm not aware of," she asked as her brow raise to her hairline._

"_I heard that a patient name Eva Perry had escaped from a mental facility," I blustered. "I heard that she was a threat to Katniss Everdeen."_

"_Ms. Perry wasn't deemed as a threat to Everdeen that I know of," Paylor questioned. "As I heard, she was a person of interest to the abduction of Peeta Mellark." I gulped as my throat felt dry. "I have written a protective order against Ms. Perry and…for yourself as well in regards to an incident in which you threatened Peeta Mellark."_

"_That's not true, I didn't threaten him," I said remembering that incident._

"_I disagree. I have sworn statements from Guardsmen Master as a witness to that incident," she informed me. "I also read that your mother was there. Shall I have your mother make a statement for that account?"_

"_That was just a misunderstanding, ma'am," I smiled. "Peeta, Katniss and I go a long way back. We're all friends."_

"_That's not what I heard," Plutarch Heavensbee scoffed. "I heard that Everdeen dumped your ass in favor of Mellark." I stood up fast but froze as her Guardsmen aimed their rifles at me. Plutarch chuckled. "My, you have a quick temper young man."_

"_Sit down, Hawthorne," she ordered me. I sat down with great reluctance and ire. I felt humiliated. "I've been receiving quite a number of reports about you, Gale." She placed her data pad on her desk and folded her arms. "Your behavior and conduct is unbecoming and an embarrassment to my new department." She looked down to the pad. "Drinking excessively in public, cavorting with prostitutes and using and purchasing drugs for entertainment. All behavior that is embarrassing and irresponsible for a young man with your power as the First Guardsmen."_

_She shook her head. "I had high hopes for you, Gale. You've achieved the highest compliment awarded for one so young. Your act of courage and bravery during the war granted you this privilege. And in return you abuse it."_

"_I was only trying to help out Katniss––"_

"_Don't lie to me, Hawthorne. Even if your intentions were noble, it doesn't condone your behavior for disregarding your duties," she sighed. "And for tainting the reputation of the highest office that was given to you." My hands began to sweat. "I'm most disappointed in you." She sounded like my mother. _

"_This unfortunate business was brought to my attention by your brother…Private Rory Hawthorne." I gasped in surprise and anger. How could he do this to me? "He had approached me in concern of your welfare. This has not been the first time that you have…gone astray from your responsibilities. Your presence has to be accounted for, your actions above reproach. You were held high in regard and used your power and resource for your own agenda. That is not the actions of a responsible person in your office. The office of the First Guardsmen is not a toy for you to do as you please."_

_She stood up. "I'm afraid that I have to ask you to step down as First Guardsmen," she said as she held out her hand. "Please hand me your badge and gun." I stood up and handed said items. "Gale Hawthorn, you are hereby suspended from the office of the Guardsmen as of today."_

_Suspended but not fired. I still had a chance. "For how long am I suspended," I asked._

"_Until further notice, you are under investigation for using drugs and alcohol in your office and…" She stopped for a moment when Plutarch cleared his throat. "…and you are to remove your possessions from your office and vacate the resident designated for the First Guardsmen." She was basically kicking me out of my home. I was losing everything, my job, my home and my respectability. _

"_You will return all items related to or owned by the Guardsmen which includes, artillery, equipment, clothing and accessories. All armaments will be accounted for and hovercrafts and any Guardsmen transport or transportation will be forbidden." I was surprised she didn't ask for the clothes off my back. After she speech, she regarded me and spoke._

"_For the next few months I recommended that you put your life in order. Visit your family in District 12," she suggested. "See a therapist." I snorted at her advice. I wasn't crazy like Mellark. "It will do you well to find a way to redeem yourself and clean up your act if you want to return to your job." There was still hope._

"_Who is replacing me during my suspension?" I asked. Paylor looked ad Plutarch who shrugged his head._

"_That is no concern of yours, Hawthorne," She ended the discussion as she turned to her guards. "Please escort Mr. Hawthorne to his office and let him collect his personal belongings.'_

_It was beyond humiliating as I was escorted out of her office. Nancy or Nora––the fuck who cares, smirked at me. "Now you have time. Call me when you get lonely." _

_**End of flashback ––**_

* * *

I have still yet to leave my home. Paylor gave me a week to find another residence. There were boxes and trunks stacked everywhere. The first thing I did was to locate Rory so could give a piece of my mind and beat the crap out of him. I was beyond angry when I discovered that he was in company of Abernathy and Masters. Rory's betrayal stung more than I can imagine. My own brother turned on me and was now employed with Abernathy. My hopes to blackmail Masters failed when he informed me that he had revealed his secret. I was shocked when he continued to work for them. Then I found that my own brother was working to protect Mellark. That was beyond betrayal but a stab on the back from brother to brother.

"You're all alone and have no one. You'll never get rid of me now, Gale," Eva promised.

"I got rid of you once," I said, my threat empty.

"I'm in your head now too," she echoed in my mind.

"You're dead," I spat. "I made sure of it."

"Oh, Gale. You poor excuse of a man," she sneered. "How long do you think it will be before they figured out that you murdered me?"

"I covered my tracks." I said confident and assured of myself. I wore gloves and made sure I left no evidence that would implicate me.

"But you did, Gale," she voiced. "You left one piece of evidence that can lead them to you." I searched my mind. I went over things I could have possibly left behind. "It's not what you left behind but whom."

"The hospital security guard I bribed," I said to myself. I promised to forward his application for the Guardsmen training if he let me into the facility undetected. I'm desperate and anxious. If for some reason they did an autopsy on Eva, they would see the needle puncture behind her left ear. I drugged her before I hung her with her bathrobe sash. The security guard could talk and implicate me.

Killing Eva was necessary. She was slowly drying out from all the drugs and alcohol she had been taking in our time together. Now that she was out of reach and no longer in my influence, she was a liability. Once clean and sober she would have talked and revealed my involvement. Now, I had to clean my other mess.

Frustrated I turned on the monitor to clear my mind from my worries. "Latest news coming from the Office of the President," Arn deVille spoke as he stood at the step of the building. He pressed a finger into his ear listening into his earphone. "It's official that Commander Gale Hawthorne, rebel turned hero of the rebellion has been officially suspended from his office as the First Commander. It is not clear as to why but rumors have been going around that Paylor herself has been displeased with his performance as the commanding officer of her newly formed Guardsmen. Rumor of drugs, alcohol and misuse of his office are running rampant. We have not been able to get a hold of Commander Hawthorne himself since he has been suspended. Wait a moment…" He pressed his earphone. "A video has been released from Paylor's office."

The video changed to display a spokesperson to speak for President Paylor. "Ladies and gentlemen in behalf of the office of the president, that an interim commander officer has been appointed to replace Commander Gale Hawthorne in his absence. After several debates and consultation with her staff, President Paylor has appointed former Victor District 7 Johanna Mason as interim First Guardsmen. We are pleased that Ms. Mason has accepted the offer and will commence with the responsibilities of the office in a month time in which all duties will be transferred to her when or if she permanently accepts the position. This is an overwhelming and daunting task for her to undertake as she replaces Commander Hawthorne at this time."

"What the fuck. You kiddin' me?" I shouted at the screen. That bitch, it didn't take long for her to replace me and to add insult to injury, she appointed Johanna Mason. I threw a glass ashtray hitting the monitor dead center. The monitor display cracked and turned off. Suspension my ass, she was clearly firing me and hoping to replace me with Mason. When I saw Mason this morning wearing the uniform, I had thought that she joined the Guardsmen too protect Mellark. But I was too busy and angry at my brother to make a comment about it. His betrayal hurt deep and hard.

I looked over to my phone. The message light blinked indicating that I had several messages. I pressed the button.

"_Gale, honey. It's mom. Have you talked or seen your brother Rory. I've been trying to get a hold of him. Please call or leave a message."_ _Nag, I have my own life leave me alone._

Beep. _"Gale, it's mom again. Where are you? And where is Rory? I haven't been able to get a hold of him for days now and I'm getting worried. Please call me and let me know if you're seen your brother."_ _Fuck, Rory. I'm not his babysitter._

Beep_. "Hey, Commander Hawthorne. It's Charisma. I know that you don't want me to call you but…you have…I mean. You know the project that we were working on? It's due tomorrow and well…I can't do anything until you give me...you know. Anyway, if I don't hear from you I'm guessing that you found someone else to help you finish your project." Fat cow!_

Beep_._ _"Gale, it's me. I'm sorry but you give no choice. I love you, you're my brother but…I'm sorry please forgive me." Traitor, backstabber. You'll pay for this. _

Beep. _"Gale, it's your mother. Where are you? Please call me. I want to know what's gong on? You suspension is all over the news this morning. Please call me, I'm worried about you."_

Beep. _"Hello, Commander Hawthorne this is Tyra Wells from First District United Bank. I'm sorry to inform you that your assets and accounts have been frozen and seized by order of the President Paylor. Your personal funds are over the limit and all transactions have been suspended. We apologize if an inconvenience or hardship has befallen upon you. If you can make an appointment, I'm sure we can make a schedule or payment plan to take care of your debts. As representative of First District United, we will aid you in any way we can as stated in our bank policy. Please return my call me at your conv––"_

I picked up the unit and threw it at the monitor to have it land right next to the glass ashtray. In my rage I threw anything that was in my proximity. I didn't care where it landed or what damaged it caused. By the time I was done, the room was mess as every piece of furniture was upturned. I didn't know how much time lapsed as my fury and rage knew no time or limit. I was too anger to feel any pain or remorse for the destruction I reeked upon the room. I sat down on the floor and leaned against a wall. I couldn't think straight as my life spiraled uncontrollably. _'What did I do to deserve this?'_

I made a mental list of people who have wronged me. Starting with Thom, my childhood friend who turned his back on me. He had ignored all my calls.

Bron Masters, who had a change of heart because he fell in love with Delly Cartwright, the Merchant whore.

Eva Perry, who once had been my lover and accomplice from the start. At least she's dead. "Or so you wish," Eva chortled, her laughter echoed in my mind. I closed my eyes to drown her out of my head. Willing her to leave me alone.

Johanna Mason for taking my job and making a mockery of the office.

To my brother Rory who turned and betrayed in favor of Mellark.

Katniss Everdeen who played me for a fool. She claimed and swore never wanting to fall in love only to choose Mellark over me. And, finally Mellark.

Peeta Mellark, the one person who took everything away from me. He stole Katniss and now has my brother, Rory. I will have vengeance for all that I have lost because of him. I didn't come this far to lose everything and I knew what's needed to be done. Each person will feel my pain and wrath as I dole out their punishment. It will be slow and painful.

* * *

**Peeta POV ––**

"Oh, Peeta," I heard Johanna muttered as she stood behind Katniss. I'm crouched in the corner of the room next to my mural. I barely noticed that my room was a mess. Delly's shoulders shook as she tried to control her tears. Haymitch was stocked still, uncertain what to do or say. Katniss sobbed with tears in her eyes. Everything hurt, my head, my eyes and most of all my chest. I felt as though someone yanked my heart out of me leaving me in agony. I couldn't stand the look in Katniss' eyes.

"Everyone stand back," Kara ordered. She pointed at two hospital attendants. "You two leave." They didn't budge. "Leave now." They looked at Kara as she nodded her head. They left without a word. I couldn't breath. I felt crowded as the room felt small and too bright.

"Peeta?" Johanna took a step forward as Katniss walked over to me. I closed my eyes. "It's all a dream," I repeated to myself. I reveled at the pain as I gripped the shard of glass tighter in my hand. Blood poured through my fingers.

"Peeta," Katniss whispered to him. "It's me Katniss." I kept having flashes of Mutt Katniss but I contained the images as best as I could. I didn't want to hurt her. She was real and yet not.

"Not real, not real," I said as I opened his eyes. "You're not real." She didn't understand me. What I saw before me. The girl I love and the monster that killed my family. She blended into one then separated. The images caused my head to explode. I opened my mouth to scream but nothing came out.

"I am, baby, I'm real," Katniss said as she knelt a foot in front of me. I stared into her gray eyes. Gray orbs that tore me in half as well as healed me. The closer she got, the more upset I became. I clutched the glass harder as blood continued to trickle down my arms. I blinked my eyes adjusting and clearing my vision. I wasn't triggered. Yet. I flinched as her hand reached out to me. She pulled back from my reaction causing her tears to flood her eyes.

"Kara?" Katniss sobbed. "What can I do?"

"Don't scare him," Kara responded. "He's confused and disoriented. Everyone stay still and don't startle him." They spoke about me as if I wasn't there. Like I was piece of furniture to move on their whim. I woke up and panicked as soon as I realized where I was but not remembering how and why I was there. I thought everything that had happened was a dream, a fantasy I made up in my head. What Katniss and I had wasn't real. It was never real.

"Stay away, please leave me alone," I said, desperate and in anguish. "You're not real." I turned my head not bearing to look at Katniss. "Johanna? Where's Johanna?" I called out to her. I didn't see Katniss' reaction but I knew it stung as she gasped in hurt and pain.

"Peeta, I'm right here." There she is. She's real.

"I want to go home," I wheezed between breaths. "I don't want to be here anymore."

"I…you can't go home yet," she answered me. I shifted from my spot. My leg felt cramped as my prosthetic leg dug into my skin. Someone shifted at my periphery.

"Peeta, it's me Kara, do you remember me?" she asked me. I looked at her and blinked my eyes several times. "I'm your doctor from District 12. Do you remember why you're here? In your room?" I shook his head. "Take a deep breath. Try to clear your mind and remember why you're here." My lungs burned to breath.

"I'm…getting treatments for my…head," I stumbled then sighed. Images of events from the past months flashed in my head, slow and detailed. "I don't remember why…how…what happened?"

"You woke up…and had panic attack," Kara answered me. "You're fine now." I nodded my head, taking deep breaths to calm myself. "What is the last thing you remembered after you woke up?

"I thought…" I said getting frustrated. "I thought everything was a dream. All of you were a dream." Then, I remembered the graffiti on the walls in my home, the white roses, the baking competition, Eva and…I sobbed as I realized everything happened. It wasn't a dream. The scars on my forearms confirmed it. I looked around my room noticing the mess. "I'm sorry."

"There is nothing to be sorry for. Can you tell me how you're feeling?"

"I feel tired all over. I have a headache and there's a ringing in my ears," I assessed. My chest hurt so bad that I wanted to dig deep in my chest and rip out the pain.

"Peeta, I'm going to walk over to where you are," she told me. She knelt in front of me. "Give me the glass." I stared at her, frightened then blinked my eyes as I dropped the glass on the floor. Kara picked it up and threw it behind her. Beside her Katniss continued to cry.

"Delly," Kara whispered to her. "Delly?" She turned her eyes to her. "Get a kit, get it now."

"I'll be right back, Peeta," she promised me as she turned to walk away.

"Delly, don't leave me," I whimpered.

"Never, Peeta," she returned. "I'll only be gone for minute so we can fix your hand. I promise."

"Okay." I smiled. She ran off without another word or glance back. I turned to Kara and Katniss.

"Everything hurts," I said as I glanced at my hand. "I have blood on my hands. Real?"

"Real, Peeta. Real," Kara answered him. She reached over and picked up a towel off the ground. "Give me your hand." I continued to look at her.

"Peeta, listen to her," Katniss added. "She needs to look at your hand. You cut yourself."

Surprised and scared I spoke with a tremble in my voice. "I didn't hurt anyone, did I?" _'Please tell me I didn't hurt anyone,'_ my mind cried out. "Whose blood is this, please tell me that I didn't hurt…"

"You didn't hurt anyone but yourself," Katniss said with a sad smile on her face. I signed in relief and held my bloody hand up. Kara took my hand and examined it.

"It's not deep, but you'll need stitches," she said.

"No needles, please no needles," I cried inching away from her. "No, please…"

"For fuck sakes, Kara," Johanna seethed in anger. "You know better than to say that in his condition." I was well acquainted with needles. I was drugged and poisoned with them during the hijacking. Each day I came back with puncture marks on my arms and legs. I had scars to remember them by.

"Shh, it's okay, Peeta. I'm sorry. No needles I promise." she comforted me. "I'll wrap your hand up real good, okay?" I nodded my head as my eyes returned to Katniss.

"I woke up and I couldn't find you," I admitted. "I panicked and I thought everything was a dream. I'm so confused…I thought you left me again."

"I'd never leave you, Peeta," she tried to comfort me as I remembered all the moments and times she turned her back on me.

"But you did and you have," I said in a resigned tone. "You and Haymitch left me to die…you abandoned Johanna, Annie and me…" Memories of those moments brought back the ache and pain I felt for being abandoned, forgotten and cast aside.

"Peeta––" Katniss cried out to me.

"No, no. I cant' do this," I whined. "This hurts too much." I didn't want to relive it again.

"What hurts, Peeta?"

"I don't want to hurt anymore," I started. I'm short of breath and the ringing in my ears intensified.

"Peeta, what did I tell you about holding back your emotions," Kara said to me. "The success of your treatments is contingent with your ability to face all negative and hurtful emotions." Even now Kara was so damn critical. _What the hell was she saying?_

"What she means is that you have to let go of your anger," Johanna explained. "And face the things or people who hurt you. Get mad, pissed and get it off your chest."

"I don't want to get angry," I said panicky hoping that I wouldn't get triggered. "I don't want to have an episode."

"There's a difference between getting angry with someone to having been triggered by a memory," she explained. "What do you want to say to Katniss but have been afraid to tell her because of your fear in suffering an episode?"

"No please, don't make me," I cried out. My mind swirled with memories of her leaving, watching her walk away. "She'll get mad and leave me again like she did at District 13." Katniss sobbed. "She never stays when things go wrong…she runs off. She never stays."

"Peeta, I promise you that I'll never run or intentionally hurt you," she swore. "Just talk to me and I'll listen. I promise. No matter how much it hurts or painful, we'll face it together."

"I can't, I can't. Please don't make me," I pleaded. The room was quiet for a few seconds. The sounds of sniffing from Katniss distracted me. The moment of peace was broken as she took a deep breath and spoke.

"I remember the first time I hurt you." Katniss flinched and covered her mouth with her hand but continued. "I was so angry with you." I raised my hands to cover my ears…she can't do this now. I don't want to remember.

"Stop, stop."

"I thought you were trying to make me look weak…when all you wanted to do was tell me that you had a crush on me…and I didn't believe you." I closed my eyes. "I thought you were playing a game. That you were messing with me."

"Please, please, no more no more," I whined, my voice high pitched that I didn't recognize myself.

"I threw you against a wall and you hurt your hand." I picked at the cut as I recalled the memory. She was so angry, her eyes filled with hate and anger. "I thought you were trying to hurt me. But you weren't. You were just being honest and I got mad at you. I thought, we never talked at school so how could you possibly have a crush on me?"

"I thought…I'm going to get a scar and…I'll remember why I got it." Then I laughed.

"It's not there anymore because the Capitol erased," I muttered to myself. "Like they erased me…my memories, my mind…who I was before." Delly returned crashing through the room with a white box in her hand. "I wondered sometimes if that was a dream or a memory. As if it never happened." The cut on my hand continued to ooze and dripped down my arm.

"Delly is going to come over and fix your hand, Peeta," Kara instructed me. As Delly bandaged my hand, I continued. I couldn't help myself.

"I'm so tired. My chest hurts." I rubbed my chest with my free hand. My shirt was wet from perspiring despite the fact that the room was air-conditioned. "I feel like I'm on fire." The cloth stuck to my skin. Delly reached over and felt my forehead. Her touch soothed me for only a few seconds.

"You're warm," Delly announced. "I don't think he has a fever."

"Go on, Peeta," Kara encouraged me as she felt for my pulse. Johanna stood behind Katniss. She smiled encouraging me.

"I loved you," he added as I steeled my eyes at Katniss. "I told you I cared about you. But it wasn't what you wanted or needed from me. At the cave in the first arena, you used me. I wished sometimes I ate the nightlock." Katniss gasped. "Oh God, oh God, this hurts too much. I can't do this. I can't."

"In the cave, you told me you cared for me since you were five." Katniss voice surrounded me.

"No, no, no…" I swayed back and forth as I held my head between my hands.

"I kissed you."

"It wasn't real. You used me." I lived for that moment over and over. I remember the taste of her lips. They were soft and supple. I could have died that day and not regret telling her how I felt.

"I didn't use you…I…"

"You did. In the train when we were going home. You admitted to me that everything you did or said was a lie," Katniss sniffled. Her face was red from anger and frustration.

"Not all of it, Peeta."

"Then what was real?" I retorted. She opened her mouth, but kept silent for a moment.

"I was confused so I left you alone. For months I ignored you, went on with my life. And I left you alone. I didn't want to see you. I didn't want to have feelings for you," she confessed. I knew that it was killing her admitting her shame. I knew she didn't care at all. That broke me. I never felt that kind of pain. Months later I was still nursing my broken heart as we left for the Victory Tour.

"And you didn't. You didn't care about me. My own family didn't need me. They were only happy to get the money I was receiving from the Capitol. I was alone and lonely for months." They were the loneliest months of my life.

"I did care about you…and I did have feelings but I was scared." I ignored her admission, shaking me head not believing her.

I leaned my head against the adjacent wall. "Even after the Victory Tour, I had hoped that…we would at least become friends. But you didn't want that either. After the tour, you ignored me again…when Gale got hurt…you chose him. I knew you chose him."

Katniss' anguish and guilt was plain to see. It was written all over her face.

"And I hated you for it," I screamed. "You didn't even want to be friends. You picked him…and still you ignored me."

"I know," she admitted.

"And I still loved you despite the fact you ignored me. It was because of Snow that you were barely civil with me. You would have cut me off of your life. That's how much you cared about me. It took Snow to threaten you to care about me. That isn't care, that's guilt. And, you always went back to him. You chose him and avoided me. Like I was some bug you couldn't swatter away and was annoyed."

"I didn't want to rub it in your face," she yelled back.

"I would have been happy for you…you still didn't get it," he sobbed. "I felt connection with you…you felt it too. I know you did." She shook her head. "But you chose to ignore it."

"I told you that I didn't want to be in a relationship with anyone…that included Gale," she cried, holding back tears and her anger. "But you kept…haunting me…making me feel ––"

"It's not my fault that I wanted you…loved you," I roared. "You don't get to tell or control people on they how to feel. You love who you love…there is no on and off button. You don't get to control how I feel. Even when you chose him I still loved you. I'm pathetic and stupid I know that."

"You're not, Peeta," Delly spoke. Her tears flowed down her face. I noticed that Haymitch left the room leaving the four girls with me.

"Stay out of this," Katniss shouted.

"Don't yell at Delly," Johanna reprimanded her.

"Why are you all here?" Katniss ranted. "You shouldn't be here. This is between Peeta and me."

"Everyone please calm down," Kara spoke. "Peeta, do you feel comfortable to have both Johanna and Delly here." I nodded his head.

"They can stay, I want them to stay," I requested much to Katniss' dismay. I didn't feel safe with her at the moment. If I'm triggered at least, I knew that Johanna and Delly could handle me. My faith in Katniss' ability to stand by me waivered but I needed to make sure she was safe from me.

"You both can stay as long as you keep quiet," Kara instructed. "Katniss is right. This is between the two of them." Both Delly and Johanna agreed. Kara turned to me as she looked down to her hand. She clutched a tranquilizer pen in her palm. I nodded my head in understanding.

"Do you know what hurts most," I started. "When you told me that you needed me at the beach during the Quarter Quell, I believed you. I…really thought you needed me. I thought at least you cared."

"I did need you and I did care," Katniss confirmed.

"So why did it take so long for you to find us and rescue Johanna, Annie and me?" I asked as I gritted my teeth. I asked that question myself over and over. I knew that once I was caught, my life was over but instead they tortured and abused us for months. They dangled life and death each day. I was ready to die and I wanted to die after I knew Katniss was all right. She was safe and away from Snow.

"I didn't know that you were alive," she said. "I thought they killed you. Both of you." She looked back to Johanna.

"So you assumed it but didn't take the time to verify it," I scoffed. "And you and Haymitch did nothing after you found out we were alive. You did nothing."

"Coin wouldn't let us rescue you," she explained. "Our hands were tied. I begged Haymitch to find a way to rescue you, but it took months and the rebellion…"

"Yeah, yeah, the rebellion mattered. We didn't," I concluded. "It still didn't explain how you treated me."

"I thought I finally lost you…just when I realized how much I needed you…"

"Yeah, you needed so much that you let Gale kiss you," I sneered. "Snow showed me how much you missed me. He flashed the two of you kissing at District 12. That's how much you missed me when you locked lips with Gale."

"That was a mistake."

"You missed me so much…you showed how you cared when you didn't want to see me when I came back," I spat.

"You nearly killed me," she roared. "I almost died."

"I wasn't myself," I choked back. "I was wasn't me anymore. They changed me. They hijacked me into something even I couldn't recognize. I was tortured and hijacked. I was a mess and I needed…I needed…you."

Katniss stood up and turned her back on me. I glared at her back. _'Don't you fucking dare. Don't you fucking walk out on me.' _Johanna stood before her, her eyes danced saying unspoken words to her. I didn't realize that I voiced my anger as Katniss turned around.

"I wasn't going to leave," she said, her eyes sad. "But I was scared. You came back different. You were gone––"

"You don't think I thought about that day since I started to remember?" I implored. "I dream about it every night…how I almost killed you with my own hands. I dreamt of it in my sleep…when I have a flashback or an episode. I remembered how I saw the light your eyes die as my hands squeezed the life out of you." I shut my eyes as images flashed in my head. "It's forever tattooed in my mind. And I'll never forgive myself."

"Peeta." Katniss took a step forward.

"When I finally started to remember, do you know what the first thing I thought? The first clear memory that came back…the kiss we shared at the beach." She gasped in surprise. "I was torn between guilt and joy, but at the same time, I wondered if that kiss really happened. If you did feel something for me…but instead, I find out you're with Gale. Flaunting your relationship with him. Choosing him again. You didn't even come to see me. You took off to District 8 without a word or second glance. Yeah, I'm sure you missed me between sharing his bed and playing the MockingJay."

"Peeta, I have never been with Gale that way," she corrected me. "I was lost and angry at you when you came back. I admit that. I was angry because you weren't you anymore…the boy with the Bread who saved on that rainy day. The same boy who would die for me because…he loved me."

"It wasn't my fault I came back different," I yelled. "You hated me. I saw it your eyes every time you looked at me." She shook her head in denial. "Don't you fucking dare deny it?" She burst into tears clutching her stomach. I felt as thought an army of ants were crawling all over my body. I choked down gulps of air into lungs. "You didn't even try to help me recover. There was nothing but resentment and anger every time you looked at me. You did nothing––"

"I didn't know what to do or how to help you," she screamed back at me.

"So you did what?" I bellowed back in return. "Nothing, you did nothing. You turned your back on me and left me…you didn't even try to help me. I was alone again. You're sister and Delly pulled me back from hell. They…stitched back what was left of me."

"They said you were never going to be the same."

"So you gave up on me," he cried in anguish. "You gave up just like that…I wouldn't have…I would have help you…fought for you. You gave up on me so easily and went back to Gale. You gave up. I wasn't worth fighting for."

"Peeta, please forgive me. I'm sorry," she repented as she took a step towards me.

"Don't touch me," I wailed. If she touched me I'll lose it because I hadn't much left to hold on to with my sanity. "I don't even know why I bothered to think that you would fight for me. You used me…I held you in my arms during the Victory Tour and I knew you were using me. I stood beside you against Snow and you kept secrets from you. You felt nothing but guilt and anger for pushing myself into your life. You pretended to care about me when's it was so obvious that you only cared about yourself."

Kara looked at my wristband. I didn't dare look incase it was yellow, orange or worse, red. I hope that the band just knocked me out already.

"I did care about you," she bawled. "Don't you fucking dare tell me that I didn't care about you?" Her eyes were fiery willing me to challenge her.

"I don't believe you," I said, resigned and tired. I took several deep breaths. It hurt to breathe like was I inhaling poisonous gas. "You don't treat someone you care about like that. You don't look at them with scorn and anger. You hated me for coming back. I came back altered…changed from who I was before. If you did care about me, you wouldn't have turned your care to hate so easily. It was so easy for you to hate me let alone admit that you loved me."

"I didn't know if I did love you or…I was so confused," she admitted. "Love was the last thing I wanted. I didn't want to love anyone."

"Now, that's the biggest lie of all," I sneered at her. "You love Prim, you love your mother even though she abandoned you. You loved Gale."

"Like family," she repeated. "I didn't love him…or wanted to fall in love. I was scared of how you made me feel. I didn't know I loved you." _'What the fuck,'_ my mind screamed.

"That's just it, Katniss," I said. "Do you even listen to yourself? You didn't want to. You just admitted that you felt something for me…whether it was love or not. You chose not to. You tell me you loved Gale like family and wasn't in love with him. You knew how he felt about you, but you still loved him."

"He was my best friend," she sobbed. "I'm not going to apologize for my relationship with him. He was my friend long before I even met you…before I got to know you."

"You still don't get," I repeated. "If you looked at it in my perspective, you'd understand what I'm trying to tell you.

She stared at me like I grew another head on my shoulder. "You knew how I felt about you. You blatantly ignored it, my feelings for you. You chose to ignore my feelings…you chose, Katniss. And that's what hurts the most because you chose not to. You didn't want friendship. You. Chose. Not. To. Love. Me." I shook my head in disbelief and frustration.

"Haymitch, Delly and Annie kept telling me you loved me. Everyone saw it, but said that you couldn't admit it. You just admitted that you did. You chose it. You chose not to love me and fight for me. How would you like if the one person you love didn't want to love you back because they chose not to want to." That hurt.

"And then you gave up on me," I said. I was no longer angry but tired. I was resigned. "It was easier to go back to Gale. You turned away when I needed you the most. You always do. It's who you are. When things get hard you run. You won't fight for me…or with me when you faced your feelings for me. When the odds around us are hard and seemed hopeless…you ran. To him, all the time." I paused trying to catch my breath. "If he didn't kill Prim you would be with him now."

"How can you say that?" she said to me in disbelief. A range of emotions crossed her face, anger, disbelief, surprise but most of all shock.

"Tell me the truth," I challenged her. "Without the games or Gale killing Prim, would you have chosen me? Would we be together right now?"

She was quiet. Too quiet. Her lips trembled.

Katniss loved me. She may have not wanted to or knew that she did, but she did choose to walk away. She punished me for returning not as the boy who loved her unconditionally, desperately and devotedly. Had she really loved me, she would have fought for me, stayed at 13 and helped me heal. She turned to him instead. She always had him to turn back to. What we had wasn't worth fighting for. It was the ugly and awful truth. She sobbed and cried for a few seconds. There wasn't a dry face in the room as Kara also had tears in her eyes.

This was it. It was flee or fight for Katniss. I closed my eyes and waited for the inevitable. She'll fight for everyone but me. Katniss will stand by me until my ordeal was done. That is who she was. She had a debt to pay for causing me pain and to assuage her guilt. "I'm sorry, Peeta," she said between sobs. I shook my head. It was good while it lasted I was done. It was better to cut my loses now before she broke and shattered my heart into a million pieces.

"You can go now," I said, weary and tired. I took a deep breath as the weight in my chest burned. She turned to Kara and whispered in her ear.

"No, Katniss," Kara shook her head. "I can't let you––"

"Please, Kara," she begged her. "I have to do this now." Kara extended her hand revealing the pen tranquilizer. Katniss shook her head.

"I won't need it," she told her. She gave Katniss a hug before she left the room. Then she turned to Delly and Johanna. It was a moment of female solidarity or intuition as they left the room without a word. She stood staring at me for a few seconds. I could tell she was trying to find words to explain herself.

"I don't want to fight with you," I sighed. As if the weight of world left my body, I felt the pain in my hand. My knees were numb from sitting and crouching in the corner of the room for too long. I was done crying and reliving the memories of her denial and avoidance. It was out in the open.

"I'm going to fight you," she said.

"You never really do when it mattered," The words left my mouth before I could stop them. I looked back at her expecting her to be…angry, disappointed or sad. She just tilted her head.

"It's all right, Katniss," I told her. "I don't have much left in me to argue with you." She extended her hand out to me. I stared at her hands. They were strong hands that had years of use whether she was drawing an arrow from her bow to feed her family or gentle when she caressed Prim's hair or Gale when he was whipped. She never touched me that way during or after the games. They were forced in front of a camera. I've only been acquainted with her touch after I was beaten, tortured and abused. It's all out of pity and guilt. I knew that now.

I stood up by my own steam. I couldn't stomach the pitying looks she gave my way. My head swam as I stood too fast on my aching limbs. Katniss caught me right before my knees buckled. It was embarrassing. I needed her but the memories of the pain and hurt I felt all those months were still fresh in my mind. Kara recommended that in order for me to move on with my life, I had to _'slay old ghosts'_ and _'open wounds' _that I repressed memories and emotions I withheld to avoid the pain it caused me. My sessions were necessary in order for me to be mentally stable to endure my treatments. The sessions felt like an ending instead of a beginning. I felt like Peeta pre-Quarter Quell and District 13.

She led me to my upturned bed that sat in the middle of the room. I dropped onto the mattress with less grace and agility that I landed with a big whomp, face down and my legs star-fished. "Thank you." I managed to say before the world turned dark.

* * *

**Katniss POV ––**

With his arms around me, I held the sob that was lodge in my throat. I felt the distance grew between us as I held Peeta's trembling body close. He was pulling away from me. The moment his head landed on the mattress he was out like a light. He had managed to thank me before passing out. It's just like Peeta to be so civil and polite in the midst of his pain and anguish. After hearing his pain of how I had treated him, it's no wonder that he had loved me at all. If I were he, I would have given up on me, on us. He had only given up when he returned to 12 because he was certain that we were over. I had thought of that as well.

But as fate would have it, we found our way back together. I sat next to him as he slept. The last couple of days had been stressful and tiring for my Boy with the Bread. Seeing Gale with me didn't help. I thought back to his confession of insecurity and doubt with our relationship. I knew that I hurt him with all my actions and my lack of communication, but to finally tell me. It was a revelation and an epiphany. I never knew how much he resented me for treating him the way I did. However, I'm glad it's out in the open. We can start anew.

I reached down and rubbed the hair on the back of his head. "Katniss," he mumbled in his sleep. Even in his dreams I'm never far from this thoughts. His head felt sweaty underneath my fingertips. He was warm to touch. I sighed. He sounded tired and resigned as if he had given up on us. Bringing forth his memories compounded to his insecurities. I knew he had them just as I had mine. "I do love you, Peeta," I said to him knowing that he didn't hear me. "I was a coward. I loved you then as I love you now, but much more so."

'_I could live a hundred lifetimes, and still not deserve him,'_ Haymitch once said to me. It rang true then as it did now. A knock of the door disturbed my train of thought.

"Can I come in?" Johanna asked. Her rife was holstered on her back. I nodded my head permitting her to walk in. "I got worried because I was expecting a lot of shouting and screaming coming from this room. So when I heard nothing…"

"He's asleep," I sounded realizing how dumb that comment was considering Peeta was snoring. He had a cute snore if that was even possible. He didn't snore like a freight train like Prim when she was exhausted. I smiled at her memory.

"Poor thing," she said as she sat across me flanking my boyfriend. "Probably exhausted from all the stress of seeing Gale." I nodded my head as I avoided her eyes, which were glued to Peeta. I couldn't handle a scolding or reprimand from her. I continued to stroke Peeta's head. He sighed in his sleep.

"He'll get better now," she spoke. I twisted my head so fast it startled her. "He's been holding on to so much anger and resentment. I'm just glad that he finally opened up to you."

"He's pulling away from me. I can feel it," I said. "I know that it was good for him to finally tell me…how badly I treated him." I blinked tears that brimmed my eyes. "I'm scared, Johanna. I think that now that he's finally opened to me…he doesn't…want me anymore."

"That's bullshit and you know it," Johanna stated. There was tinge of anger in her voice. I winced as Peeta shifted in his sleep edging closer to me. I didn't want him to wake up just yet. He needed rest from his ordeal. Surprised, he reached out to me opening his eyes for second then moved to settle his head on my lap. Once secured, he closed his eyes and sighed returning back to slumber.

"Is that the actions of a man who doesn't want you?" she snorted. "Even in his sleep he seeks you out." I smiled at her comment. "He likes to cuddle." I giggled at her remark. Sometimes, I would find Peeta pressed close to me while we slept. He needed to touch me to assure him self of my presence when we're in bed and fast asleep. I needed that assurance as well especially when I had awoke from a bad dream. My nightmares now consisted of losing Peeta to Gale or to his episodes.

"He was right about everything," I agreed. "I just wish I didn't hurt him so much. How can he ever forgive me?"

"He's hurting. Give him time to sort things out in his head," Johanna advised me. "You can't expect things to go back to normal. He's needs time."

"I know you're right but I can't help feel that this is too much for him," I stated. "That he finally realized what a horrible person I really am. Selfish, self absorbed––"

"Stop talking like that," she hissed at me. "You're not a horrible person…just misguided and too stubborn for your own goo. Do you honestly think that after everything you've been through together, he would just give up on you?" She challenged me to contradict her. "If you do, then you're not as smart as I think you are. You love him point of fact. You hurt him and he still loved you then and he still loves you now. Maybe more than ever."

I nodded my head and prayed that it's true.

Johanna proclaimed. "He's right about one thing, you know." I waited for the condemnation of my ability to hurt him over and over without considering his feelings. "You need to fight for him. Let him know…no, convince him that he's worth fighting for. That you love him for real and had always loved him but was too chicken-shit to admit it. You were a fucking coward but now you're not scared anymore. That you want him." Well, leave it to Johanna to encourage and scold me at the same time.

"I do love him. It was always him and no one else that I loved," I admitted to her. "I just don't know how to convince him…erase any doubt of my feelings for him."

"He will only doubt his feelings for you if you doubt your feelings for him," I laughed at her comment.

"Sorry, you know what I mean," she chortled. "It made sense in my head. I can admit that I'm not good with word, especially when it comes to love. Show him; prove to him that you love him even when he's not sure with himself of your sincerity. Find a way to show him that you're here to stay."

I mulled at her words for a moment. I wracked my mind of ways to prove that he's it for me and not because he's second choice after Gale. I never wanted him that way, ever. He was a moment of comfort, support but never out of love.

"Listen, in all the times you've been with him. Who made all your plans, your dinners and outings?" she asked me. "Your dates?"

"Peeta," I answered for her. "Johanna, I've never done this before…I mean, I've never dated anyone. I was too busy trying to survive. Dating was the last thing on my mind."

"But don't you see," Johanna sighed, frustrated at me. "He's been courting you…pursuing you. It's about god damn time that you made plans for him. Make him feel appreciated and wanted. He's like girl, chase after him." I've stood by the sidelines always waiting for him to make a move or a gesture even when I knew he loved me.

"I wouldn't know where to start and how," I whined.

"God you're hopeless," she scoffed. "You're a girl for fucking out loud. If you were to plan a romantic evening for him, what would you do?" My mind wandered to several ideas and ways to prove that I love him and only him. That I'm also committed to him as he was to me.

"I'm going to need your help. I need you, Delly and Effie to help me if I'm pull this off," I said. I'm hopeful and excited but then a thought burst my happy bubble. This was a side I hated about myself. I had thought of things crashing down on me before I got started. Negative, pessimistic and bitter Katniss reared its ugly head. "What if I can't convince him? He's stubborn just like me. What if I lost my chance to convince him of my commitment to him?"

"Peeta loves you, Katniss," she encouraged me. "He may be hurting now but don't think that his love for you stopped because of what happened today. A love like that doesn't just die." Johanna was right. If there was one thing about Peeta, it was his consistency of his feelings that could never be changed overnight.

"Besides, have I ever told you about District 7's rituals and ceremonies?" She said with mischief in her eyes. "You've been committed to him for some time now and you just never knew it."

She had explained in great detail what transpired between Peeta and me. My eyes bulged at the revelation. _'This courtship and dating might be easier than I thought,'_ I said to myself.

* * *

_**AN: Thank you for reading this chapter. I hoped you enjoyed it. You'll love what's coming in the next chapter. ;) Until next week, have a great weekend.**_


	46. Chapter 46 - Recovery and Rebuilding

Chapter 46 – Recovery and Rebuilding

_AN: I want to say thank you to my reviewers [Natalie5678, Matainer, wonderishome, kamjam, LACR, Lillian, Tea4e and guest] and great appreciation for those who have stuck with me this far whether you alerted, fav or reviewed 'The Weary Heart.' You guys are awesome. If you find any mistakes, I own them but as for the characters, they belong to Suzanne Collins. I hope you enjoy this chapter._

* * *

**Johanna POV –**

My heart ached as I watched Katniss' interaction with Peeta. He wasn't cold or mean towards her but pensive…weary. He had a weary heart. I couldn't blame him considering his perspective. Wow. I too would be reluctant or be at least weary of her intentions. Granted, she was clueless and stubborn, but he was right about her keeping her distance when it was obvious that there was something real, special and had an extraordinary connection between them. Then, to use Gale…she had a lot more feminine wiles than I thought. She had to have known that it hurt Peeta. You couldn't be that cold and unfeeling unless you were really clueless or admittedly hurtful.

I wondered if she realized who she really was hurting at that time. Oh well, it was moot point anyway and now she has to live with the consequences of her actions. I can't help but feel sorry for her, but she ultimately done this to her self. She has to live with the repercussions. I just hoped that she's patient and devoted enough to Peeta to withstand the fallout.

She and I watched over him as he slept for the next two hours. During that time, he whimpered and flinched in his sleep. Katniss' heart broke each time he called out to her. She felt helpless. All she could do was calm him and let him sleep, cradled in her arms.

He woke up from a nightmare, reaching out to her then pulling back as he calmed himself. Katniss bit her lower lip trying not to break into tears. She was right as I felt the distance he was putting between them. He looked dead tired and resigned. The weight of his sessions took a toll on him. After a quick checkup, Kara had recommended three days of rest and stress-free time. He sighed in relief at her suggestion. She checked his heart and the lump on his head from the fall. He winced when she touched the bruise.

"Can I go home?" Peeta asked. "I don't…want to stay sleep…stay here longer than I have to. I want to sleep in my bed." His eyes locked onto Katniss.

"Of course, you're free to go," she told him. "Let me start the paperwork and you can leave…within the next half hour." She left the room. Just as she walked out the door, Peeta stood up and hobbled into his bathroom. Katniss looked worried as we heard him vomit. Seconds later, the toilet flushed and the water from the sink sounded. He was in there so long that we started to get worried.

A few seconds, a deathly white Peeta opened the bathroom door with a hand on his head as he swayed by the doorway. Without any hesitation, Katniss was on her feet as she grabbed him by the waist and she led him back to his bed. He was obviously exhausted since he didn't put up much of a fight as Katniss helped him into a clean change of clothes. I felt like an intruder watching them together when she stripped him down to his boxer shorts. I flinched as I stared at his scar-riddled body. He looked lost and vulnerable. She reached into a bag and pulled out clean hospital clothes that Delly borrowed from the nurse's dressing room. My stomach lurched when I looked at him, half naked while leaning onto his good leg. He was still beautiful despite the metal piece of technology that replaced his left leg. Without any resistance or fight left in him, Katniss helped him into a pair of pants, pulled the light blue shirt over his head, placed socks on his feet and tied his shoes. All of which during that time, Peeta watched her with such longing and sadness. He didn't even respond when she kissed his forehead, her lips lingered on his skin. They were painful to watch.

An hour later, Katniss grabbed Peeta's hand as he was wheeled out of the room. His shoulders were slumped and his hand slacked between hers. She was fighting back her tears.

Their behavior was noticeable to everyone. "Is he okay?" Bron asked as he watched Delly and Katniss helped him into the hover car. Rory stood watch by the car.

"He had two sessions today," Haymitch snapped at him. "He just saw his stalker with his girlfriend. He woke up with a panic attack in a hospital room. He's going to have treatments that might make a vegetable or worse––kill him. Do you think he's okay?" Haymitch's berating of Bron was an obvious indication of frustration, fear, anger and sadness that we all felt.

Delly held a sob as she watched them return back to the penthouse suite. She turned to me with a look of worry and concern as Peeta headed straight to their room, limping across the floor with Katniss right behind him.

"Peeta, do you need anything?" Delly inquired. Without a backwards glance he responded.

"Hurt, tired…I need to lie down." When they reached the loft, I exhaled a breath I hadn't realize I was holding.

"What is happening to them?" she asked in a hushed tone, her eyes sad and her lips trembled. "Oh, my God, Johanna. I hope that this is going to break them. He looked so fragile and…and she's… "

"There's nothing we can do, Delly," I answered. "They're both hurting."

"It was just so awful," she returned. "I knew that Peeta was hurt when Katniss rejected him…but to finally…all the things he said. It's so sad for the both of them."

"It was awful, but needed to be said," I spoke hoping in vain they would get through this together. "It's up to Katniss now to help him move on." It would take time and patience but I knew that they would weather it together. I just wished Katniss hadn't resisted him so carelessly making Peeta pay the price for her cowardice.

Love is weird.

That night dinner was eerily quiet. The dynamic of our group shifted. Pregnant Delly lost Bron to his betrayal. Her pregnancy caused her to be hormonal one moment to unusually quiet the next. Katniss and Peeta's relationship was shaken. They barely spoke to each other. Haymitch and Effie were oddly getting along. As for me, I'm thrust upon new responsibilities as the interim Commanding Officer of the Guardsmen. A job I would have refused whole-hardheartedly but accepted for Peeta's sake. But through it all, we held onto each other for support and comfort. We are family, period with all the hang-ups, faults, flaws and quirkiness.

As I expected, Katniss hovered over Peeta but with a bit more desperation on her part. He was still Peeta but…tentative. I caught the looks between Haymitch and Effie. The same looks and glances before Katniss and Peeta got together. It was disturbing.

"Peet is being released tomorrow," Haymitch announced between dessert and coffee. "Kara says that he's recovering fast so he and Kat decided to go home as soon as possible." He had a twinkle in his eyes. "And they have good news."

"Thank god, I could use some right now," Delly stated.

"Kat's pregnant."

"Wow, that was fast," I said. I remembered Haymitch telling me a while back that they were newlyweds.

"They've known each other for a few months before getting married," Haymitch explained. "It seemed that their relationship started similarly to Peeta and Katniss." He laughed.

"Oh, we're they Star Crossed Lovers as well?" Delly asked. I winced as Peeta flinched to the reference.

"Not so dramatic or traumatic," he chortled. "He broke her nose when they first met."

"What…not so romantic," Delly said.

"Peet claimed that he fell for her at first sight. He was so enamored with her that he accidentally tripped on a coffee table and crashed onto her nose," Haymitch said. "It was far from romantic." We were entranced to their courtship. "She was on her way to her first big shot on a movie and had to back out due to the broken nose. She never forgave him."

"Well, that's understandable," Effie spoke as she sipped her coffee.

"For the next couple of months they kept running in to each other, like they were fated," he continued. "But being hurt and missing an opportunity, she blamed him for her losing the role."

"How sad," Delly sighed.

"He apologized profusely every time they encountered each other, but she wouldn't accept it. Not matter how much he tried to make amends she didn't forgive him. He fell for her at first sight and she didn't want anything to do with him." Wow, talk about the similarities of their relationship mirroring Peeta and Katniss.

"Talk about holding a grudge," Effie quipped.

"So he finally gave up," he remarked. "Let's just say that his 'attraction' to her faded and resolved to never bother her anymore. But somehow they kept meeting at the same auditions." Haymitch went on with his tale.

"So what happened? I mean they're married so something had to happened in order for them to be together,' I asked with curiosity and amusement.

"They ended up in movie together," he chuckled. "But by that time he was over her and she…fell for him."

"Wow, sound familiar––" Delly said trying not to look over at Katniss and Peeta. They both looked uneasy at the story.

"Yeah, so the thing is that…they were porn stars," he snickered. "Let's just say that she forgave him in their first scene together." We laughed, a gut blowing and hysterical chuckle that left tears in our eyes. The only one not amused was Effie. Her face was bright red. "After that, they parted and Kat had a changed of heart for Peet. He was nursing a broken heart and bruised ego every time she rejected and ignored him. She pretty much went after him with every intention of making him fall in love with her again"

"That so…sweet and hysterical," Delly muttered.

"It worked out in the end," Haymitch continued. "So when they started dating and developing a relationship, they vowed not to do porn anymore."

"How long were they together before they got married?" I asked.

"Six weeks," he said. "They're whole acquaintance from first meeting to the wedding took four months."

"At least they had a happy ending," Peeta stated. "They're together now."

"Yeah but he sure made her worked for it, as Kat told me," Haymitch smirked at Peeta. He was clueless to Haymitch's hints as I winked at Katniss. "They're retiring and going back home to start their family."

"Aw, how sweet," Delly said with wistful look in her eyes. I laughed to myself at Delly's romantic notions of love.

After dinner we lounged at the monitoring room as Katniss motioned to Effie to talk to her. Once they left the room, Peeta sidled between Delly and me. Haymitch stepped away for a private call with President Paylor. My curiosity was peaked by his conversation with the new president of Panem. He seemed to have many calls and private conversation with her. I was so intrigued that I didn't realize that Peeta had been calling me.

"Johanna," Peeta said my name startling me.

"Yeah, Peeta," I answered. He looked tired and sad. His dinner was half eaten claiming that the medication Kara gave him for his treatments were still making him nauseous. Delly forced him to finish the lamb stew that Katniss prepared just for him. He couldn't resist or deny them.

"Can I go and see Peet and Kat off before they leave the hospital?" he asked. "I want to see them before they go home."

"I don't see why not," I pondered. "Are you sure you want to? I mean…you're going back there right after…you know?"

"We'll be at different floor and another part of the building," he supplied as he shrugged his shoulders. "Besides, I know I'll be okay with you watching me." I was pleased and humbled by his faith in me for protecting him.

"How are you feeling? Really feeling after the sessions?" I dared to ask. "I know that you're having a difficult time right now…and I noticed. We all have noticed that you're…keeping Katniss at arms' distance."

"I'm…okay," he stumbled. "My head and heart keeps…it's all a jumble in my head, I guess." He tried to explain. "I love Katniss and I always will but…the session, it brought out so much hurt and…I feel like I'm there again."

"But you're not, Peeta," Delly admonished him. "That was a different Katniss. She loves you."

"I know that, but…"

"But what?" I encouraged him to continue.

"I'm so tired, exhausted, Johanna," he confessed. "I'm lucky that she finally admitted…but why did it have to take so long and to get this far? I lost my leg trying to help her and after…she ignored me for months."

"You know, Peeta," I reminded him. "You're never the same after the games."

"… She kissed me in the cave and I thought she cared, then she admitted that she was playing for the cameras––"

"To get you sponsors so you both will survive," I added.

"Only because they changed the rules that two tributes from the same districts could win the games." He must have ruminated all this in his mind for it to come forth. His doubt and resentment festered in his mind.

"That's the past…she knows she fucked up, Peeta," I said to him. "She was a fucking mess after her father died. You know all that. Give her some slack."

"My own mother hated me––"

"And by some miracle, you ended the sweetest and kindest man I've ever known," I complimented him. Guys like Peeta I would have not been attracted to. I would have been charmed and smitten with Gale with his dark looks and brooding persona. He matched me in personality. After my games I was bitter, resentful and angry at the world. Had I known what was in store for me as a Victor, I would have chosen death. Peeta was too sweet for my taste. But with time and experience I realized that I needed someone who appreciated me, and that I deserved to be loved by someone who made me a better person.

Someone who'll make me cheese buns when I'm sad, someone who would make a crown of flowers for my hair and tell me I'm beautiful. Someone like Peeta, who would still love me even after I've been a bitch to him. I needed patience and kindness. I wanted sappy love songs and romantic dinners by candlelight. I could admit that.

"Part of me believes that she loves me but another part…the part that the Capitol…my hijacking caused. I…I have a difficult time believing that she really want me. Gale is out of her life because he messed up and killed Prim. She hated me in 13. What if I'm…I'm just the last man standing?" This was Peeta, the insecure, abused and unloved boy who craved and yearned to be loved by his mother. Then, to fall for a girl who was just as screwed up, as he was when it came to love. The irony now was that he's scared and she's besotted over him.

"Peeta, how could you even think like that?" Delly sighed. "Yeah, she made a mistake." I coughed. "Okay, she made a lot of mistakes, but she really, really loves you. You have to admit that you're…kinda…overwhelming––"

"Delly!" I shouted. That was not the encouragement I expected from her. _'What the fuck, Delly.'_

"You know what I mean," she stumbled. "Not in a bad way, but really devoted and passionate way. It's…indescribable. Johanna, help me here…you know what I'm talking about."

"I guess what Delly is trying to say is…" I uttered choosing my words carefully. His ego and self-confident was always lacking when it came to Katniss so I had to be careful. "You're a very passionate person, Peeta. When you love someone, it's…bigger than life, forever and––"

"Passionate," Delly added with a dreamy look in her eyes. She really misses Bron. Sometimes, I caught her with a faraway look on her face and tears in her eyes.

"I just said that," I scolded her. She better keep her paws to herself or Katniss would eat her alive.

"I know that I can be…a little too much at times," he admitted as if he was ashamed of himself.

"No, you're not," Delly said. "It's just with Katniss, it was something she never expected, you know. She never thought a Merchant boy would ever fall in love with her. Any girl would have been lucky to be loved by you, Peeta."

"Yeah, but I fell for Katniss and she never––"

"She didn't know how to handle it the first time," Delly tried to convey to him. "But now, she loves you…like crazy loves you. Have you seen her when any girl is around you? She's possessive…madly jealous at anyone who flirts with you." I nodded my head as I watched a shy smile appeared on Peeta's face. I hoped it gave him the boost he needed. "As for…him…Gale, you really need to stop harping over that moron. If she was using anyone, she was using him because she was afraid to love you. Yeah, she was way stupid but––" She poked him on the chest.

"So don't give me that crap that you're the last man standing," she berated him. "Don't doubt her feelings for you. If I have to tell you all the time, knock over the head and remind you…she only loves you, okay?"

"Peeta," I said as I took his hand. "Really think about this…Katniss. She's not a normal girl like…Delly." She looked at me like I insulted her but I continued. _'I was making a point here.'_ "We all have different experiences in love. But I want you to think about his hard and really think hard about it. Without your hijacking and Katniss' propensity and adversity to love when you first met her…how does she make you feel now? When she holds your hand and looks into your eyes? When she kisses and holds you in her arms? Is she the same Katniss before the rebellion and was a total bitch to you in 13?" He looked down remembering her attitude towards him.

"I'm not making any excuses for her. The Katniss now that tells you she loves you…like crazy loves you as Delly says. Can you honestly think that she's would be dishonest with her feelings for you because…'you're the last man standing?' You're still you, Peeta. The Capitol tried to destroy you, tried to create a monster but they failed because your love for her was strong."

"But I almost killer her," he sobbed back.

"Yeah, you almost did," I reminded him. "But fate, miracle call it what you will intervened again. You weren't you when they rescued us. I admit that I was scared every time they took you away and you came back…different. But with the hijacking, even when they took your mind away, you still saved Annie and me from being…you knew that those two men were going to hurt us. You saved us." Peeta still look unconvinced.

"This doubt you have for Katniss," Delly added. "You're scared to love her and find out she really doesn't want you. I get that. But didn't you tell me that to live in fear is only half living? You told me to trust Bron and I did. He was the one that betrayed me but I'll never regret the time I had with him. I chose love, Peeta. And now I have the greatest gift that has been given to me." She placed a hand over her stomach.

"Don't be scared like she was. That's Capitol Peeta talking," I added. "Trust her, trust yourself." Delly stared at me with a big smile on her face.

"I need to get you a boyfriend," Delly said with amusement and sincerity. I didn't trust that look in her eyes.

"Don't you fucking start with me––" Peeta smiled and held his laugher.

"I'm going to get someone who will make googly eyes at you and fall on your feet," she teased. "You'll be so in love, you'll start wearing sexy dresses for him and lingerie."

"Good luck with that?" I scoffed at her. "They broke the mold when they created Peeta." The idea that someone could love me that way Peeta loved Katniss was too good to be true.

"You two need to stop talking like that about me," Peeta interjected. "It's…it's embarrassing and…sappy. You two make me sound pathetic––"

"There is nothing pathetic in the way you love Katniss, Peeta," I scolded him. "You're fucking adorable and charming, and you know it."

"And lovable, sweet..." Delly continued.

"Stop talking," Peeta threatened her. "I don't want to be sweet and adorable. I just want…Katniss."

"Too bad because you are all that." Delly stuck out her tongue at him. Peeta then tickled her. "Stop that. You know I'm hormonal and I'll start to pee in my pants. I'm peeing for two now." She was laughing as she playfully tried to get him to stop. But he kept tickling her. As for me, I climbed onto his back as I tried to pry Peeta of her, but he was strong and immoveable despite his lanky and wiry frame. Amidst the tickle fest, I heard a cough. It was Effie and…Katniss.

"Are we interrupting something?" Effie asked with an amused and annoyed look on her face. Katniss had a look…like a deadly and jealous look on her face. She needed to chill. It must have been funny with me latched onto Peeta's back as he hovered over Delly, his hands on her midriff. Peeta stood up while I clung onto his back, giving me a piggybank ride. Katniss' face didn't' move a tick. Her patent scowl made an appearance. I dropped my legs from Peeta's waist on to the floor. He cleared his throat and rubbed the back of his neck.

"Nothing really important," he sighed. "I'm thinking about asking Alec Baylor to ask Johanna for a date." Delly giggled. I gasped at his audacity. _'Fuck this,' _I yelled in my head. I climbed onto his back, wrapped my legs around his waist and tickled his ribcage.

"Oh, shit," Peeta wheezed between laughs. He flopped onto the sofa beside Delly. That will teach him to match make me. "Don't be a prude, Johanna."

"You know you need a boyfriend." Delly added. I missed that sound. He continued to laugh, loud and deep. Katniss agreed with a large smile on her face as his laughter filled the room.

The next morning, a sleepy and groggy Peeta and Katniss appeared for breakfast. His hand held his head upright at the dining table while Katniss cushioned head on top of her arms as they lay on the surface.

"Peeta, Katniss, posture, sit upright," Effie barked at them. "Where are your manners?" She held a large pot of coffee in one manicured hand as she held a white mug on the other. I hated her guts for being so put together and polished so early in the morning. Moaning, Peeta sat upright without an argument. Katniss was immobile.

It was a long night. They both cried out in their sleep, calling out to each other after a nightmare. The first time it happened, Delly and I crashed into their bedroom to find Peeta comforting her in his arms. It was all too common and familiar sight. We quickly snuck out and left them alone. By the fourth time, unable to contain her anguish for the both of them Delly medicated their water with sleep syrup. I looked at her with great pride as we checked on them an hour later. They were fast asleep clutched together in a warm embrace. I patted Delly on the head. She was devious in her passage aggressive way.

"Don't look so smug," she snickered at me. "I told them I put some sleep syrup in their water. The dosage was enough to let them sleep for a few hours. I didn't want them to be knocked out all day." So I was surprised that they actually made it for breakfast.

"We have a big, big day ahead of us," Effie announced while Haymitch groaned beside me. "So much to do with such little time."

"Don't make a big production out of this," he responded.

"Katniss, sit up." Effie ignored Haymitch. Katniss didn't respond not even when Peeta nudged her. She just groaned in response.

"Why don't I drop a glass of cold ice water on her head," Haymitch teased. In a flash, Katniss sat upright, grabbed a butter knife and stabbed the wood in front of Haymitch missing his hand within inches. Delly cried out in horror.

"Katniss, that's mah––" Effie cried out, appalled at her behavior.

"Mahogany," Haymitch, Katniss and Peeta completed for her.

"We know, Effie," Haymitch snickered. The four of them were silent then burst into laughter. Delly and I looked at each other. We obviously were not included or aware of the inside joke amongst them.

After a quick shower and change of clothes, we boarded the hovercar and headed for the hospital. I snuck a look behind me. Katniss and Peeta sat next to each other but the distance and physical space was obvious between them. I hope that Katniss' plans work out for Peeta and her.

With Rory ahead of us and me covering from behind, we escorted the rest of the group inside the hospital. We separated as Delly had an appointment with Kara.

"Just a check up," she assured us with a hand on her belly. Not wanting to be alone, Effie joined her. I could tell that she was dying to have Bron with her, but knew that this was her responsibility now. It broke my heart watching her struggle with her pregnancy without him. Each time I broached the topic of Bron on mention his name, she broke down in tears and was inconsolable. I wanted to rip the motherfucker's balls out for leaving her in her condition. Raising a child on your own was difficult enough and to also have no family support. It was a good thing that she'll always have us.

Haymitch didn't accompany us as he and Bron attended another matter. They would join us later. Rory stood in front of door as Peeta, Katniss and I entered Peet's room.

Inside, Peet sat on the edge of the bed with Kat between his legs. It was an intimate scene as she hovered over him, lips locked in searing kiss. Their hands rested underneath her blouse on top of her belly. There was a slight bump that wasn't there before. Then I remembered that Haymitch announced that Kat was pregnant.

Katniss and Peeta smiled at them. "I hear that congratulations are in order," he spoke breaking the two apart. Peet sported the biggest and goofiest look on his face while Kat giggled. They were so happy and in love. It was evident in their face and demeanor.

"I'm going to be a daddy," Peet announced. Both their hair was back to their natural color. It was odd and strange seeing them like that. I had gotten used to seeing them as Peeta and Katniss.

"Congratulations," Katniss added.

"Thanks, we're pretty pleased ourselves," Kat returned. "We didn't plan for this to happen so soon, but…" she looked at her husband. "We wouldn't change a single thing."

They looked happy and excited. Soon, Peet's doctor appeared and he was released to go home.

"Do you guys need a ride to the train station," Peeta offered. Kat and Peet smiled at each other.

"Well actually. Mr. Abernathy authorized a hovercraft to take us home to District 8. He wanted to make sure we arrived safely so he assigned Guardsmen Masters to fly us home," Peet said with excitement. "We've never ridden on a hovercraft before."

"We'll be home in two hours instead of two days in a train," Kat gushed. I'm glad that they're going and moving away from the Capitol. Gale was still a danger to Peet since he survived the attack. The farther away they was the Capitol the better I felt. His behavior was beyond obsession but clearly dangerous and lethal to anyone acquainted to Peeta.

"It's my way of thanks for helping us out," Haymitch said as he appeared behind us. Bron stood beside him. "Bron will fly you home when you're ready to leave." We haven't spoken to him for a while. His betrayal stung and it was difficult to be around him. But Haymitch had complete faith in him. I was less forgiving.

"How were you able to get a hold of Guardsmen's hovercraft?" I asked in curiosity as I shifted my thoughts away from Bron.

"Well," Haymitch replied. He looked nervous rubbing the back of his neck. "Since you are Commanding Officer of the Guardsmen, I sort of borrowed it." I raised my brows. "I thought it the least we can do since Peet and Kat did helped us out."

"More like commandeered it," Bron snorted.

"Peet got hurt in the process," Peeta added. "It's a great idea, Haymitch." Minutes later, Peet was wheeled to the rooftop as Kat walked beside him. She made sure her husband was secured in the aircraft before pulling Katniss and me aside.

"I know that we don't know each other very well," she said. "But I feel like we owe you a huge thanks." She stared at Katniss who was puzzled by her remark. "We met and fell in love pretending to be the Star Crossed Lovers of District 12. Because of you two we would have never met."

Katniss blushed at her praise and gratitude. "Peet, I mean…Hayden and I would be very pleased and honored if you and Peeta would attend our child's blessing after he or she is born. That is if you're not…we wouldn't want to assume to being friends but––"

"Peeta and I would love to," Katniss accepted her invitation and in Peeta's behalf.

"And Johanna, we would like for you and Mr. Abernathy to join the as well," Kat/Julia added.

"I can't speak for Haymitch, but I would be honored as well, Julia," I said.

"Keep us posted," Katniss said.

"We will." Julia hugged us both and boarded the craft waving good bye one last time. Soon, the hovercraft lifted off into the clear blue sky.

"So, ready to go back to the penthouse?" I asked as we watched the craft disappear into the horizon. Peeta nodded his head. Once inside the hovercar, he took Katniss' hand and kissed her knuckles. It was chaste and sweet. A surprised Katniss smiled back at him. Turning my head, I winked at her. I hoped seeing Julia and Hayden happy gave Peeta the boost and encouragement he needed. If there were two people who deserved to be happy, it would be them.

* * *

**Katniss POV ––**

"Oh man, Delly, " Johanna said in exasperation. "You didn't want to know the sex of your baby? If I were you, I want to know pronto…not that I want one, you know. A baby, I mean. Me and babies…not so good."

"She won't know until the next appointment anyway," Haymitch added. "So quit your griping."

"So you mean you're not going to help me spoil the kid rotten?" Peeta interjected. "I don't care what sex it will be. Delly junior is going to beautiful. I can't wait to spoil him or her. You're going to be an awesome mom, Delly."

"Peeta," Delly wailed and broke into tears. She grabbed Peeta by the waist and held him tight. Her mood swing startled Katniss as she watched her cry all over her boyfriend's shoulders.

"Delly?" Peeta inquired with a look of concern on his face. He was a sucker for damsels in distress and crying women.

"God damnit, Peeta," Haymitch whined. "You just made her cry. Again." He sat down on the couch. The trip back to the penthouse was short and uneventful. Thank god.

"What?" Peeta asked, puzzlement and worry on his face. "I just said the truth. Delly is going to have a beautiful baby. What's wrong with that?" Delly wailed louder. Tears and snot soaked the front of his shirt. She was a messy cryer.

"Nothing, Peeta," Katniss said to him. "She's hormonal and overly sensitive."

"I am not," Delly blubbered. We stared at her for a few seconds. "Okay, maybe I am. I'm carrying a baby for crying out loud. Sometimes, I think it takes over and I can't think straight. I'm hungry all the time, every little things upsets me or makes giddy and I miss…se…Bron." She covered her mouth with her hand.

"If you're horny, Delly. I could always drop you off at The Celestial," Johanna snickered.

"No thank you," she returned as she wiped a hand over her eyes. "That's disgusting. You'd have to pay me to go there." I heard of The Celestial. At the time, sex and satisfying my libido wasn't in the forefront of my mind. Now, after experiencing a taste of Peeta. I can't help but think about it all the time. She sighed, "I really do miss…him. I think I'm having withdrawals. I think about it, I mean him all the time."

"Eww, would you please cut out the sex talk," Haymitch whined.

"Just give me the word, Delly. And I'll drop everything to take you there," Johanna teased her. Or was she? Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

"Thank god for small favors," Haymitch quipped as he stood up to answer the door. "I'm going to see who's at the door."

A few seconds later, Beetee appeared carrying a large white oblong box. It looked like the box Peeta received back in District 12. I felt anxious as I conjured 12 long stem white roses in my head. Beetee's visit was a happy surprise for the day. I haven't seen or heard from him since the rebellion.

"It's so good to see you," Peeta said as he hugged him. After a short reunion with our old dear friend, Beetee smiled at him.

"I know I'm late for this, but I wanted it to be perfect," He announced as he walked towards the dining room and placed the box on top of the table. "Can you come over here for a moment, Peeta?" While he walked over to him, Beetee opened the box to reveal a newly designed prosthetic leg to him.

The leg had the same skin tone as Peeta's. The texture looked realistic and soft. Peeta gasped in surprise. "I realized that you're still growing so…there's a microchip inside the leg to help it extend both upper and lower limbs as you keep growing. The technology is new and you're the first person to wear it. It's waterproof and can withstand extreme heat or cold temperature." Peeta sat down in shock and examined the leg. "It also has a shock absorber inside to help distribute any pressure on your upper limb when you're exerting yourself."

Beetee looked pleased with himself as he continued, "You can get a replacement if the mechanism malfunctions or it gets damaged and…" He smiled. "You don't have to come to the District 13. It'll only need maintenance once a year and you only have to send it back to me for any repairs or upgrades."

"Can I put it on?" he asked. He looked like a little boy with a new toy on his birthday. "It's not a proto type or something…"

"No, Peeta, it's yours." Beetee answered. "I wanted you to wear it as soon as I finished testing it." Peeta stood up and was about to unbuckle his pants.

"Whoa, there Peeta," Haymitch shout out and turned his head. "Go to your room and undress all you like, but not in front of the ladies." He gestured to me. "Why don't you take your boyfriend to your bedroom and help him out."

"I've seen him naked before, Haymitch," Delly pouted. "It's not like he's gong to remove his underwear." I scowled at her. "What? Do I have to remind you that I'm his nurse?" _'Like I would ever forget?'_

"I'm not his nurse and I've seen him naked," Johanna reminded me. Everyone was poking fun at me. It was annoying. I grabbed Peeta's hand and led him into the guest bathroom. After closing the door, he hesitated for a second when he touched his belt buckle.

"I don't really need any help, Katniss," he said. His hesitation and shyness surprised me. It wasn't as if I never seen him naked. As a matter a fact, I missed seeing and feeling him naked.

"No, you probably don't, but I want to be here with you in case you do need help," I asserted. _'I'm you're girlfriend I wanted to blurt out.'_ Sitting on a lounge chair, he removed his pants and detached the leg. When he shed the sock covering his upper leg, his stump was swollen and red. "Peeta, why didn't you tell me your leg was swollen? Does it hurt? Do you want me to get the massaging lotion?" I hated seeing him in any pain or suffering. He endured so much for the last few months. I wanted his treatments and his ordeal to be over.

He hissed in relief. "It doesn't really hurt that bad. I ran out of the lotion last night."

"Why didn't you say anything?" I scolded him. "I could have gotten you more at the hospital this morning."

"I forgot," he said.

"You forgot?" I said with at tinge of anger and frustration. He rubbed his sore leg for a moment. My anger diminished as I watched him relieve the pain on his leg. "Are you sure you want to try that on?" I gestured to the new leg.

"I don't want to put it off," Peeta said as he slipped the sock back onto his leg. "Besides, Beetee came all way from District 13. I don't want him to waste the trip over here." My Peeta, always thinking of others before him self.

He slipped on the leg over the sock. "Well, how does it feel?" I asked with anticipation.

"Really good," he answered. "There a pad inside cushioning my leg. It's firm but not too hard. I can barely feel it." He tapped his leg up and down on the marble floor. "Wow, the shock absorber is working. It feels like my leg is in one piece." I held the sob in throat. I took it for granted that I have both my legs. It was one of the reasons why I could barely look at him after the first arena knowing that he lost his leg because of me. He jumped up and down a few times testing the leg. He must have tired himself out when he leaned forward and almost landed on top of me. I grabbed him by the waist to prevent him from falling causing him to wrap his hands on my hips.

His head was so close to mine that I felt his breath on my face. Just as I was going to lean over to kiss him a knock interrupted us. I moaned in disappointed.

"Are you two okay in there?" Haymitch's voice sounded from behind the door. He was quiet for a moment. "Please don't tell me you're having sex in there?" He teased us. I could here it in his voice.

"Would you leave us alone if we were?" I fired back avoiding the look Peeta was sending my way. His hands felt warm around my waist. I missed his touch and kisses.

"Eww, I use that room, you know," he said in disgust as his voice echoed from behind the door. "You better be kidding me."

"I wish," I whispered to myself. Hoping Peeta hadn't heard me.

"Don't worry, Haymitch," Peeta called out to him. "We'll clean up after ourselves when we're done." Haymitch grumbled as he walked away. We laughed for a moment, our eyes met with longing and uncertainty.

I wished that he would kiss and tell me that we're okay. The session derailed us only for a moment. For if I truly believed we were over, he would have been straightforward about a break up. I had to give him space and it was killing me.

"Come on, let's go before he sends Johanna after us," I told him. With Johanna or Delly they would be cheering and encouraging us. It's what they lived for these days. We were more entertaining than the shows in the Capitol. We live to amuse.

"So, Peeta? "Beetee asked as we joined everyone in the living room. "How does it feel?"

"It's amazing. I mean, I know that it's a fake leg but it sort of feels natural and so light weight."

"He already tested it by jumping up and down a few times," I reported.

"I'm so pleased," he returned. "Like I said it's water-proof for saltwater as well. Just remember to wipe it down with this after swimming in chlorine or saltwater." He handed Peeta a bright yellow bottle and a small cotton towel.

"If you need more just call me and I'll send another bottle. Just to let you know that the metal is made of titanium so it would take a lot of damage and pressure for it to get destroyed. It's pretty durable to withstand anything. The microchip and the shock absorber may malfunction but the leg itself will continue to work even if the mechanisms break down."

He cleared his throat. "It's also been tested for other strenuous activities that require…balance for the lower legs and body strength." My eyes grew wide. He couldn't possible be talking about what I thought but was embarrassed to ask.

Delly and Johanna smirked at me. I blushed at the thought of them talking about us. However, images of us together flashed in my head like tsunami. I really need to get a hobby. As for Peeta, he was clueless to the innuendo. He was just so happy with his new leg.

"Thank you Beetee," Peeta said. "I can't thank you enough." We laughed as Peeta bounced on the balls of his feet. He was so excited.

"You're welcome, Peeta," he returned. "You deserve this." I shook my head in agreement. "After everything you've done for Panem, you deserve no less."

"Maybe you can test it later," Johanna whispered in my ear. I blushed at her suggestion realizing that she read my mind.

A few hours later before the sun set into the horizon, Effie announced that my plans were set. I gulped in anticipation and fear. She, Delly and Johanna rallied around me, encouraging and supporting my plans. It had to work because if it didn't, I don't how…I can't fathom the idea of living without Peeta and his love for me.

"Relax, Katniss," she said. "Everything will work out, you'll see." She took my trembling hands into her calm one.

"You just have to trust yourself and Peeta for this to work. He loves you, Katniss. Don't forget that. The session was hurtful for the both of you," Delly added. "But you two will get stronger because of it."

"Just sex him up already," Johanna said in exasperation. "It's painful watching you frustrated and all."

"Johanna, really," Effie said in disdain. "You're such a romantic." Sarcasm oozed out of her words. "She wants this to be perfect and memorable for the both of them." She stood in front of me. "Katniss don't mind Johanna. Her mind is always in the gutter." Johanna scoffed behind her. If Effie only knew how much my mind was preoccupied of sex with Peeta, I blushed instead.

"Just remind Peeta that you love each other and what happened in the past is in the past," Effie lectured me. I nodded my head in thanks. "You and Peeta are forever. And no one and nothing can break your bond." Delly started to tear up causing Johanna to whine.

"Don't start."

"I can't help it…it's just so romantic and beautiful––" Delly sighed.

"What's going on?" Peeta asked from behind me. "And why are there bags in the doorway. Are we going somewhere?" Haymitch distracted Peeta in the monitoring room by having him call Tamryn. The young girl was beside herself wondering when he was coming home. His phone call took enough to execute my plans and have everyone stack their bags by the doorway without Peeta's knowledge.

"You're not, but we are," Delly informed him. She pointed to everyone but me.

"What's going on?" Peeta reiterated. He had a look of panic on his face.

"Listen, Peeta," Effie approached him. "All of us, we love you. You and Katniss. Kara said that you needed to rest and relax before your treatments. And that is what you're going to do. With Katniss."

"This is an intervention," Haymitch explained. Peeta's eyes grew wide. "Don't look at me, it wasn't my idea."

"A what––"

"We're not going far," Delly informed him. "We will just be staying a floor below you just in case…there's trouble." The residence was secure and well guarded. I felt confident for our safety.

"Oh," Peeta responded, speechless and shocked at the turn of events. He still looked confused and worried. They picked up their bags one by one. Delly hugged me before she left the suite. Effie both kissed our cheeks before departing. Haymitch waved his hand.

"Have fun," Johanna hugged me good-bye last after she embraced Peeta. "Don't forget to use lube." She whispered in my ear causing me to blush bright red. I scowled and punched her in the arm for embarrassing me. "Come to think of it, I don't think you'll need any."

"Just go already," I sneered at her. She laughed. The door shut with a soft click leaving Peeta and I alone at last. I turned to look at my boyfriend, my Boy with the Bread. He had both his hands in his pockets with his head down. His attitude and reaction wasn't promising. I felt a ball of disappointment lodge in my stomach.

"Peeta, I hope you're not mad," I asked him. He shrugged his shoulders. I was fearful of my plans to fail me. I was never one for romance or seduction. But for my romantic and thoughtful boyfriend, I would do anything for him. Anything to make him happy as he has had made me.

"I'm not mad, just…" I waited for him to complete his sentence as he shifted on his feet. "Surprised and…worried, I guess."

"What are you worried about?"

"I don't know what going on. What you want from me," he muttered, low and soft that I barely heard him. "Why did everyone leave?" I walked over and extended my hand to him. For a few seconds, he just stared it. I felt nervous and anxious all over.

"Do you trust me, Peeta?" I anticipated rejection or disinterest from him. The memories of my rejection and hurtful behavior lingered in his mind. I needed to replace them. What's done is done and I couldn't undo them.

"Yes," he answered without any hesitation. "With my life." _'But not his heart,'_ my mind cried. I grabbed his hand and led him to the rooftop. It was a secure and safe place for my plans.

At the rooftop, the sun began to set. On a small area of the roof was patch of fake grass with a bench overlooking the city. I had placed a blanket on the ground with a picnic basket. "Have a seat," I instructed him. Peeta obeyed my request and even helped me to sit next to him.

"I never like the Capitol." I started as we watch the sun peaked at the horizon. "But being here with you, like this…just you and me. I can forget why were here and everyone around us."

"Me too," Peeta agreed. After a few minutes of watching the sun disappear, the roof lit up illuminating the garden area. After a while, Peeta's curiosity was peaked. "What's all this for, Katniss?" He pointed to the picnic basket.

"I thought we can have dinner up here…alone, just the two of us," I explained. My throat felt scratchy and dry. Peeta looked into the basket and brought out a plateful of cheese buns and two covered stainless steel bowls. For dessert, there were chocolate cake and raspberry tarts.

"I'm not romantic like you Peeta," I began. "I don't have your flair for romance. I'm really clueless in planning date nights. I thought about making reservation for dinner at an exclusive restaurant but thought against it."

He reached inside again and pulled out two drinking glasses and bottle of wine. "I didn't want to share you with anyone, not to a room full of gawkers. I guess I'm selfish that way."

He shook his head. "You're not selfish, Katniss. I feel the same way every time I took you out on our dates." He took my hand into his. "I like dressing up and showing you off. I want the whole world to know that you're mine. And most of the time, I'd rather keep you to myself."

"Me, too."

"This is wonderful, thank you," he said. "Are you hungry? Because whatever is inside the containers smell really good." I sighed in relief. My Boy with the Bread looked pleased as he handed me my utensil and a bowl of rabbit stew.

We ate in quiet reflection while sneaking glances at each other. I felt relaxed and at ease that he didn't run off and abandon me. But then, that was not like Peeta. "I know that this isn't fancy or romantic like our other dates."

"No, this is perfect," he commented. "I wouldn't have been in a mood to dress up and go out in public for dinner." I smiled and mentally patted my self on the back. "Anything you planned for just the two of us is romantic."

We attacked the cake and tart with great enthusiasm inhaling every piece and crumb. "That was delicious, I don't think I can eat anything else," Peeta stated as he leaned back anchoring his arms behind him for support. "Thank you."

Alone and without an audience, I gathered all the encouragement and strength to speak to Peeta. I love Delly and Johanna. But what I needed to say to Peeta was for his ears alone.

I stared at my man for a few seconds. He wore a pair of dark cargo pants with a light blue t-shirt that accentuated his lean but muscular build. He took of his shoes revealing his socked feet. He looked relaxed and content.

There was a smudge of chocolate frosting on his upper lip. I was tempted to lick it off him but stopped myself. I didn't want to startle him or embarrass myself incase he rejected me. The air between us was painful and awkward again. I hated it.

Delly's encouragement rang inside my head. _'You just have to trust yourself and Peeta for this to work. He loves you, Katniss. Don't forget that.'_

I closed my eyes and took two cleansing breath. With his legs in front of him, I straddled his lap. He gasped in surprise at my bold move. His eyes blinked a few times then flinched. He couldn't run if I held him this way.

"Katniss," he breathed out my name. I felt his fear and anxiety. The longer he stared at me with confusion in his eyes, the more I became frustrated and uneasy. My courage and resolve was replaced with self-doubt. With all the strength and bravery I could muster I lifted my hand and placed it on his chest above his heart. It was beating hard and fast. I took for encouragement.

"I love you."

"Katniss––"

"Please listen to me," I begged him. "I'm not good with words like you. You make it look so easy every time you tell me you love. Words like love aren't easy for me."

"Then don't say it if you don't mean it." His words pierced my heart. "I know you love me, but if it's not the same––"

"Please stop," I cried. "Let me finish. I'm already messing up and…" Words are caught in my throat and I'm struggling to breath. I choked back a sob.

"Katniss, I'm sorry," Peeta comforted me. "Hey, calm down and take a deep breath. I'll shut up, okay?" His hand roved up and down my back. It was comforting. I was distressed and he so sweet that it caused me to choke up. Without any hesitation he wrapped his strong arms around my waist. I sighed in relief as I lay my head on his shoulder. He was warm and solid. I missed his hugs as well, missing his beating heart against my own.

After a few minutes I'm calmed down and pulled back to look at his face. "Okay, we'll start over. I won't interrupt you, I promise." He placed a hand on my cheek rubbing his thumb over my over lips. I shifted on his lap to get comfortable making him groan. "Don't do that," he hissed. I felt his length twitched underneath me; it was encouraging. "I'm having a hard…I mean a difficult time concentrating as it is."

"I love you," I repeated. "I don't when or where it started but…I fell in love you. And…it scared me. I have never been more scared in my life. I never wanted to fall in love. I thought love made you weak. I saw how loving my father affected my mother. I swore to never love anyone that way, ever." Peeta's hands on my waist went slack. I grabbed his arms and kept them around me. Needing his strength to continue.

"But the problem was that…I did love you. I fell for you. Whether it happened in the cave, during the Victory Tour, or at the beach during the Quarter Quell, I was in love you but was afraid to act on it. You love so deeply and profoundly. It was overwhelming to be the recipient of that kind of devotion and passion. I have never met anyone who loves the way you do." I looked down and played with the hem of his t-shirt. "Haymitch once told me that I could love a hundred lifetimes, and never deserves you."

He groaned in disagreement. "Katniss––"

"He was right. I don't deserve you," I complied.

"Now, you shut up," he said with a frown on his face. I was shocked at his anger. "I'm only going to say this once and one time only. You deserved to be to be happy. Even if it wasn't with me, you still deserve to be loved and cherished. So stop saying that. I never want you to say that or think that way, ever." He pulled close in his embrace. This was going better than I anticipated. Two hugs in five minutes, I craved for more. "Okay, I'll shut up again if you want to continue." He smiled encouraging me.

I looked into his crystal blue eyes. "Thank you." He took my hand and kissed my wrist. He wasn't making this easy since all I wanted to do was rip his clothes off and my way with him. But I had to press on and tell him everything my heart felt but couldn't put into words until now. It was do or die.

"I'm sorry, I hurt you," I blurted. My throat constricted as I fought for words that were jumbled in my head. "You were right when you said that there was something between us…something I fought against because I was scared. I did choose Gale over you not because I loved him better or more but because I loved him less. I loved him as a friend…he was…convenient. I did use him. I was awful to you both." Words flew from my mouth with ease. I couldn't stop now. "You showed me…made me feel things I never felt before for any man…and instead of accepting them, I rejected it. I was foolish and stupid––"

"Hey, don't ever say your stupid," he corrected me. "Just stubborn and willful." I stared at him for interrupting me again. "Shutting up now." He zipped his lips with his fingers. He was sweet and playful with me again. The pain in my heart eased lifting my spirits.

"Anyway, I was really stupid because when I rejected you…hurt you, I was hurting myself. I wasted so much time. Time I wasted being angry and resenting you. Time I could have been in love and happy with you. Loving you."

Something in his eyes shifted. "You asked me a question I didn't answer. A question that needed to be answered without Delly, Johanna and Kara around." I paused waiting for him for him to remember. "You asked me, if Gale didn't mess up and killed Prim, would we be together? You have to understand that Gale would be and has always been my friend…a close friend who I survived and struggled with at the Seam. We depended on each other. I needed him at that time to survive. But I could never love him the way he loved me. I never wanted that from him. Even when I felt scared and confused about you, I never felt…the fire and hunger I felt for you. We would have never worked out. There's too much anger and bitterness in him. So much like my own. That kind of fire…it's volatile and destructive."

I shifted on my legs to feel him again. He moaned in response. "You're so sweet, generous, loving and kind. Nothing at all like me or for most of Panem for that matter. You're not angry or bitter with the world though you had every right to be. When I'm with you, there's a different fire inside me. It's not angry or toxic, you released a fire and a hunger I crave and desire. You burn me alive with every touch, every kiss. I need that kind of fire that burns for life and love, not for revenge or bitterness. I love you, Peeta. All of me loves you. And despite the sullen, moody, cranky and scowling girl you fell in love with. You loved me through my anger, my hate and my every rejection. How can I not love you back with equal measure? How can you love me at all?"

"That's easy, Katniss. I just do," he said. "I can't help but love you for who you are and what you've done. I just do."

"You see, words come out so easily with you," I whined. "I have to think first. Most of my life, I've done nothing but struggle to stay alive. I couldn't afford to fall in love, but I did. And I fought it…fought you loving me. Even now, now that I love you I still struggle to let you know how I feel. Words escape me."

"You did a pretty job a few minutes ago," he said.

"Only because I'm scared," I admitted. "I'm scared that you don't want me anymore. That I've been so hateful and selfish to you and that you would never forgive me for causing you so much pain and heartache. I'm scared that you hate me."

"I could never hate you."

"Well, I hate me," I spat in disgust. "I don't understand how you can love me at all now that you know how selfish and mean I can be."

"Oh, Katniss, why do you put so much energy in being so hard on yourself?" He sighed. "You must really think I'm pathetic, weak and stupid if you think I'd fall in love with someone not worth loving."

I gasped in horror. "No, that is not what I meant," I cried. "See, I'm doing it again. I was trying to put myself down…feeling sorry for myself."

"Don't you see, Katniss?" he asked me. "When you put yourself down like that, it also has a bad reflection on me. What kind of person must I be if you're that horrible?"

"I…don't know what to say anymore," I cried out. "I just love you so much…and I miss you. I'm scared that you don't love me anymore."

"Now, you really are being an idiot," he teased me. "I love you still, as I have loved you always."

"But you've been distant," I sniffed as I wiped tears from my cheek. "You've haven't touched me or kissed me since…"

"Well, I guess it's my turn for being stupid and selfish," he sighed. "I didn't mean to. I was just protecting myself. I love you, Katniss. More than anything and anyone in the world. I just love you so much and I don't want to feel like…"

"You're second best," I continued for him. "You never were and you never will. He doesn't even come close to how I feel about you. Not even when I was confused between the two of you. I love him like a friend but never like how I felt for you. I'm not romantic or charming like you. You're just so…wonderful…and I…miss you so much."

"I love you, Katniss. Please don't' cry and be sad anymore." But before I can return my sentiment, he leaned over and kissed me, finally kissed me. I felt the fire in my belly and the tingles in my spine. I was on fire. I moaned as he angled his head and opened my mouth with his tongue. He tasted of chocolate, wine and raspberries. He tasted like lust and desire.

He groaned in return as I grind my center on his erect cock beneath his pants. I reached down between us and palmed his impressive erection. He hissed in reaction.

"I miss you too," he choked his words. "Don't ever leave me."

"I won't, I couldn't if I tried," I said between his kisses. "I want you."

"You have me," he breathed into my mouth.

"Then take me and make me cum," I demanded. I felt light-headed from his kisses as his hands reached inside my blouse. I reached behind me to unzip my skirt.

"No," he said as he grabbed my hands. My heart stopped. I'm close to tears from rejection, embarrassment and frustration. "Not here. Downstairs in our bed." I shook my head. I couldn't wait anymore. I was too wound up and needy.

"Right here, right now," I seethed in need and longing.

"Katniss, I want you," He licked and bite the curve of nerve and shoulder.

"I want you too,"

"No, I want you right now, I'm ready," his voice shook at his need for me. I gasped in…shit. Did he just say? I grabbed his head and looked straight into his eyes. "I'm not scared anymore…you love me, I love you. She's dead and gone. I…I...want to make love to you."

I swooned from sheer excitement and anticipation. Oh my god, this was it. "Yes, yes, okay," I nodded my head, tears brimmed my eyes.

"Let's go," he said ready to push me off his lap. I planted my hand on his chest and pushed him down.

"No, here right now," I gritted my teeth. I couldn't wait anymore.

"Katniss, we're outside in the open," he reminded me. "In the Capitol."

"In the tallest and safest building, under the heavens and the stars above us," I explained to him. "The Capitol, this place took so much from us. They can't…I won't let them take this from us. I wanted this to happen in the beach at District 4 or the forest in District 12."

I didn't want to wait anymore, not even to go downstairs and make love on our bed.

"We're in the Capitol," he reiterated.

"Effie said that Haymitch specifically picked this building because of the height and security. No cameras, no videos or recorders and breach this rooftop," I explained. I didn't want to talk anymore. I pushed him down grabbing both his hands and placed them beside his head. For emphasis, I grind my hips onto his. "Stop talking and make love to me. Now."

Peeta Mellark was never one to disappoint me. With a twinkle in his eyes and a smile on his face, I wasn't surprised when he flipped us over and I landed on my back. He teased me, as he held onto my hands while he kissed me senseless. The bastard straddled my hips but hovered over me making me miss his warmth and touch. I groaned in frustration as he continued to tease me.

At long last my Boy with the Bread will belong to me.

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_**AN: Thank you for reading this chapter. I know it was a whole lot of sappy, but I prefer sappy to angsty Everlark. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it. I need to stop there because after all this time, Peeta and Katniss deserves to have their first time dedicated in one chapter. Woohoo. I hope you agree. ;)**_

_**I'm currently re-editing and rewriting the last few chapters. So many things to fix and redo so…It seems I'm not going to be done any time soon. Sorry?**_

_**I'm off to visit my brother in Las Vegas for a few days, but before taking my sister for chemo tomorrow since her husband will be out of town for the day. Have a great weekend. **_


	47. Chapter 47 - Love, Forgiveness & Courage

Chapter 47 – Love, Forgiveness &amp; Courage

_AN: Thanks for my reviewers and for those who remained following my story. Many thanks and appreciation to the following who left me a review (Lillian, Shannon, Trude, 32sheshe, guests, LACR, Tea4e and Aqua Rules). You guys are awesome. Hungry Games do not belong to me but to Suzanne Collins. **Warning:** lots of smut and dirty talk in this chapter between our Everlark characters. If you're offended by this, please turn back before you continue reading much further.  
_

_Thanks again for your patience and kind words of encouragement. Any mistakes found are my responsibility.  
_

_To my muse, who seems to know when to aspire me with words or just a simple hug._

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**Katniss POV ––**

Peeta hovered above me like an animal trapping his prey. With our hands clutched together beside my head, I waited for him to make the first move. My body was tense from anticipation and anxiety. We've waited for this moment for so long. It was finally going to happen. Slowly, he leaned down and licked my lips tasting me, and teasing me while I chased his mouth. He was deliberate and thorough leaving me yearning for more.

I couldn't feel anything but the soft blanket beneath me, the cool wind in the air and Peeta's hair on my forehead. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he held my hands captive not giving me an inch of movement. His lips were busy kissing, nipping and stealing my breath. He didn't let up as he kissed me hard and ravaged my mouth with his tongue. I angled myself wanting my body to feel him, any part of him. The ache inside me heightened that only he could provide and satisfy. His kisses weren't enough. I moaned deep in my throat as he continued to kiss relentlessly. All my senses were hypersensitive. I felt his breath on my face. The sound of our harsh breath sounded loud in my head as we panted in cadence to the beat of my heart. I felt love, lust and desire. My body throbbed for him; my center ached, pulsed and dripped with anticipation.

"Peeta, please," I choked out when he pulled his lips from mine only to kiss me softer, lighter like our first tentative kisses in 12. He explored my forehead, my eyes and nose with his hot wet kisses then his lips trailed down to my cheek and mouth. Groaning, I felt his hard and solid length on my center as he pressed his hips down while he continued to hold my hands hostage.

"I need––"

"What do you need?" he asked on my lips. _'Damn you,'_ my mind screamed at him while I quivered in longing and impatience.

"I need you. I miss you…I miss you touching me," I confessed. _'Just fucking do me.'_

"I miss you too," he said as his kisses traveled down from my neck and to the middle of chest bone between my breasts. I shivered from the cool evening air as he left a wet trail on my skin. "I'm going to let go of your hands, but I don't want you to touch me."

'_What?'_ my mind registered. "I'm serious. I don't want you to touch me." He looked at me straight into my eyes. His vivid blue eyes sparkled with mischief and something else…something I never saw before. His eyes blazed with wild desire with a shit load of lust and possession. My heart quickened.

Don't get me wrong. Peeta had always looked at me with love and desire in his eyes whenever we were together. His eyes were always expressive. That was why I could barely look at him at times. I knew whenever I hurt him whether it intentional or not. He never hid that part of himself from me. He was eloquent with words but his eyes spoke louder when I refused or denied my feeling for him. Anger, frustration, adoration, disappointment and love his eyes expressed when he couldn't breach the silence and the coldness and disdain I projected back to him. He soaked in my cruelty and anger like a sponge absorbing water. Never asking for anything in return. He gave I took greedily.

This time, there was something else behind it…a look of lust and possession. I shivered from the shear thought of him owning and possessing my body and my heart.

I was too strung up and needy to respond so I just nodded my head agreeing to whatever he asked of me. He enslaved me. He released my hands and my first thoughts were to instinctively wrap them around his neck and kiss him back with the same intensity, but I fought against it. Instead, I grabbed the blanket near my hips. "Let go and spread your legs. Wide," he commanded, his voice was harsh and low. I shivered at his assertiveness. The timber sent a tingle down my spine. I obeyed without giving it much thought. He hovered above me eyeing me from face to chest watching it rise and fall. When he turned back to look at me, he licked his lips.

"I don't know where to start," he said. "I want to lick you from your red swollen lips to your pussy until you cum. I want you needy and aching for me so bad, you'll forget everything and everyone." I shivered and thought back to the one time he did just that. It was slow and tortuous as I recalled him kissing and licking me from mouth to my pussy. By the time, he reached my vaginal lips, my mind was screaming from frustration and need. He had made me cum with his fingers then, I came again with a simple lick to my clit. He made cum twice more with his fingers inside me while he licked the swollen bundle of nerves. I was sore the day after that I was tempted to not wear any underwear. My fingers clutched the material underneath me, anticipating the long and slow journey his mouth would travel down my body. Torturing me.

My center gushed in need. I was already wet. This was the kind of fire that only Peeta can enkindle; a slow raging fire that Gale could never ignite. His fire burned of anger, hate and bitterness. A simple look or touch from Peeta ignited a fire that burned me with passion, desire and love. I burned and ached for him.

I stared into his face as he started with my lips, kissing, licking and biting me. I was so relieved that he overcame his fear of Eva. There had been times when I lost control and couldn't help but bite his lip when he touched me while we were kissing. _'No more thought of that bitch,_' I said to myself. She would never hurt Peeta ever again.

His hands were gentle as they unbuttoned my blouse. With his eye closed I wondered if knew what he was doing. He stopped after the third button and opened his eyes. Staring down at my simple white cotton bra, I flinched for not having the foresight to wear something more feminine and sexy. Even my panties, which were soaking wet, were white. His right hand palmed my left breast while a thumb and forefinger pinched my pebbled bud. Pushing the bra aside, I gasped as his mouth devoured my breast whole. He sucked my areole between his lips as he tongued my rock hard nipple. He worried the nipple with the tip of his tongue then turned to my neglected aching twin giving it the same treatment and care. The cool night air bit into my exposed wet breast causing the nipples to harden.

In between the time he played with my breasts, he placed his body beside me leaving my lower half unattended. I moaned in disappointment missing his weight on me. "Peeta, I want more, please," I begged him. He groaned and continued to lick and bite me wondering if he heard me. The vibration from his mouth radiated from my nipple to all over my chest.

His other hand snuck underneath my skirt and panty then fingered my lower lips with a slow and teasing pace. It only made me wetter than ever. "Fuck, Katniss. You're so wet," he said with wonder and excitement. I nodded my head feeling my throat tighten as he raised his hand and licked his finger like it was the most delicious thing he ever tasted.

"Oh God," he moaned as his finger left his mouth with a pop. "I miss fucking you with my mouth." _'Fuck, fuck me already,' _my mind screamed. He was too slow. I was dying from frustration. I had been waiting for this moment but held my excitement since I didn't want to startle or hurt him. I recalled the first time I grabbed his erect cock too anxiously. He froze and closed his eyes while tears formed underneath his eyelids. I was afraid that I triggered a flashback of his time with Eva. And I did. His erect penis waned causing him to react in shame, embarrassment and frustration. He was so disappointed with himself. It took a while for me to convince him that it wasn't his fault when he couldn't recover. I learned that night that all I had to do was tell him words of love and encouragement. I told him I would wait forever just as he had waited for me. With the promise of love and patience he recovered fast. Let's just say that that night he found every erogenous zone on my body. It was a win-win for me as well as for him even though he couldn't reach fulfillment. He loved turning me on and having me scream his name for all entire the world to hear.

"I miss your mouth on me too," I struggled with my words. I took two large gulps of air through my mouth. "I miss how you can make me cum with your mouth and fingers." He smiled; a big and happy smile appeared on his face mixed with lust and desire.

"Katniss?"

"Yes, Peeta?" I reflected back at him with the same yearning. I felt my center pulsed and gushed with wetness as he inserted a finger inside me. "Uh…fuck." I moaned keeping my eyes glued to his.

" I want to go downstairs," he stated as he plunged his finger in and out of my sopping center. I shook my head in response. _'No, no, you can't fuck me with your fingers and leave me frustrated while we go back downstairs.'_ "Please, baby. I want to make love to you…I want our first time on a bed." I groaned. He curled his finger upward and rubbed that spot…the spot that sent me screaming into the air. My lower half fought for release. Peeta continued to rub my clit hard as I moaned and gasped for breath. My eyes were locked into his. My hands flailed seeking purchase for something to grab and hold on to. He watched me with such intensity, gauging my reaction while he fingered me relentlessly.

"Peeta, Peeta," I gasped his name. "Please…please?"

"Please what?" he teased me as he removed his hand and licked his fingers again. Frustrated I lowered my panty to my knees, grabbed his hand from his mouth and placed them back between my legs.

"Make me cum, damnit," I cursed at him. He shook his head.

"Not here, Katniss," he announced as he reached down and redressed me with my panty. I was close to tears. _'Why did he stop?'_ I asked myself. He stood up and extended his hand to me. "My first time with you is not going to be here for the world to see. The Capitol took a lot from me, and from you. We deserve love and pleasure in the comfort and privacy on our bed downstairs." My center ached for release. I felt the ghost of his fingers inside me rubbing and pinching my clit. I took a deep breath and was about to stand when he bent down and lifted off the ground. He was impatient as well.

Peeta placed an arm under my knees and upper body. I gasped in wonder at his strength as he carried me out of the rooftop and entered the elevator leading us back to the penthouse suite. I stared at his profile while he walked with purpose. He kissed me sweet and soft until the lift reached our floor. I held onto his neck tight never wanting to let go. With the palm recognition allowing us back into the suite, he dropped me on the ground. Once inside, I was backed into the door while Peeta ravaged me with his open mouth. I reached down and removed my panties then jumped and wrapped my legs around his waist.

"I wanted to fuck you so bad," he whispered into my lips. I gasped in shock. "I dreamt of fucking you everywhere. Our bed, the floor, in the shower, bent over on the dining table."

"Yes, yes," I agreed as I reached down to unbuckle his belt. He shook his head.

"Me first," he demanded. He knelt in front of me while unzipping my skirt.

"No," I screamed. "I want you––" I placed my hands pushing on his shoulders.

"I'm going to make you come first with my mouth, my fingers," he announced as he licked my clit. I jumped and screamed from the contact. I was already sensitive. My clit throbbed with need. His tongue licked me up and down my slit. "I want you so wet…dripping wet." Then he inserted a finger curling his digit and found that spot again. He never failed to find that spot. He wrapped an arm underneath one leg then placed it on his shoulder. "I love it when you shave your pussy. It makes it easy to eat you out." He sucked my clit while he pushed two fingers inside me. I wailed in ecstasy as he assaulted me with his mouth. He moaned sending a vibration from my center to my lower back. I fought to keep upright while I grabbed onto Peeta's shoulders. I looked down to find his eyes open looking at me with adoration and awe.

"I love you so damn fucking much," I wheezed my words through my mouth. "I love how you…oh…oh…god…Peeta." I arched my back as he pushed another finger in and out my sopping wet pussy. Thoughts of him naked rutting in and out of me flashed in my head. I was so looking forward to finally feeling him inside of me. "Peeta, Peeta." I'm lost in my fantasy. Words failed me. I only felt him as the room and the world disappeared around us. My knee buckled while he continued to rub and suck me dry. I grabbed onto his shoulder. My other hand clutched the top of his head. I looked up the ceiling and closed my eyes just as I close to orgasm.

And then he stopped. "Fucking damnit," I screamed at him. Before I could continue to berate him for getting me close to coming and then stopping, he grabbed me by the waist. I jumped and wrapped my legs tight around him. With arms around his neck, I cursed at him. "What the fuck, Peeta," I said in anger and frustration. He kissed me hard as our tongues fought for domination while my lower body rubbed against his erection.

The next thing I knew, he dropped us on the bed with his body on top of mine. Somehow he had managed to walk us up the stairs into the loft. He lifted his lips from mine and looked down at me. "No touching," he commanded as he ripped my blouse. Buttons flew and landed where? I knew not. I planted my elbows on the bed as I lifted my hips off the bed while he removed my skirt. He knelt in front of me half naked, blouse open with a pert breasts peeking from my bra.

"Don't you fucking dare touch me! Keep your hands where they are." I clutched the bedding in a tight grip when he situated himself between my legs and shoved my bra lower revealing my aching nipples. The buds were red and swollen from his earlier onslaught. I swore my pussy was soaking wet and aching with need. Someone whimpered. He reached down and stuck his middle finger inside and stilled while curling it upward and pressed hard on the spot. His mouth sucked my left nipple.

"Peeta, please…please," I begged and sobbed with need. He looked into my eyes with his mouth full with my breast. He sucked while he finger fucked me hard and fast. "Shit…shit…oh god…oh god." I wailed at my first release. It was the hardest I ever felt causing me to arch my back and turn my head while I fought to breathe. My center burned when his fingers left me quivering all over. I needed…no I wanted more.

I looked through half lidded eyes at my Peeta. He had a huge smile on his face as he looked down at my pussy. "Wow, that was…hot." He hovered over me while I panted to catch my breath. He kissed me stealing the air from my lungs. He was my lover and a thief stealing my heart and enslaving my body.

"Peeta," I sighed while I planted a smile on my face. I'm woozy and satiated just for the moment. I still felt an itch for him anticipating when he's finally inside me.

"You're so fucking beautiful," he complimented me. "You're half naked with your pussy dripping with cum. Your breasts are shining wet, red and swollen. I'm going to remember this…you looking like this." He pulled at my blouse causing us to sit upright. With gentle hands, he slipped my shirt and bra off my shoulders, kissing the top of my breasts with such tenderness. "You coming with just my fingers. I never thought…we would ever be here ever. I'm going to remember it forever." I smiled.

"You look gloriously naked lying before me, like a work of art," he said in awe as he gazed at me. He placed a hand on my knee and parted my legs.

"I wonder if you'll look just as beautiful when I make you cum with my mouth." I gasped in anticipation. I shook my head as I reached out my hands to finally touch him.

"Peeta," I moaned. I took his head in my hands palming his cheeks. "Baby, you already made me cum. I'm so wet, but..." He drew his brow upward. "I want to make you cum too."

"Not yet, Katniss," he said then kissed me sweet and soft. "I want you…so much but not…not yet." He moved lower while he trailed his hands on my breasts, down the sides of my waist and then he parted my legs wider opening me up. "I want you to be so wet…when we finally make love…I…I don't want to hurt you."

"Peeta, it's going to hurt the first time no matter––"

"I know," he groaned in fear. "I want you to come one more time…because…in case I can't…"

"Peeta, if you're not ready––"

"I am, I am," he said with confidence. "But I'm a selfish bastard." He pulled at my legs and placed both of them over his shoulders while he knelt at the edge of the bed.

"Yes, you are," I giggled as he settled between my trembling limbs. My elbow bent on either side supporting my weight while looking down to him.

"You're going to come again." He traced his hands on my belly making my stomach jump. "There is nothing more beautiful you shouting my name as you cum."

I licked my lips in anticipation. He had gotten so good with his mouth that sometimes while he ate his meal, I turned my head imagining the few times he ate me out.

I hissed in pleasure as he placed his mouth over my pussy and moaned. I was already sensitive from my first orgasm. With his fingers, he opened me up wider as his lips sucked my sensitive clit. "Shit." He giggled at my curse.

Like the perfect and loving boyfriend I knew him to be, he explored my center with his tongue, lips and teeth. I cried out in agony as he latched his mouth on my opening never leaving while I twisted my body in pleasure. I didn't know where to put my hands. I clutched at everything within my reach; his head, the bed beneath me and the head rest. Finally, he reached underneath my upper legs with both hands and wrapped his arms around my waist locking me into his mouth. "Fuck, fuck," I cried out as one hand landed on the top of his head while the other clasped his hands on to of my belly. My back arched leaving my head in contact with the bed. The room was upside for a few minutes while I felt him in between my legs. He devoured me with his lips and tongue. I felt another orgasm building from my lower belly to my pussy.

My strength left me causing me to land on my back. I looked down feeling his tongue inside me curling it upward. He found 'that spot' inside me. "Ugh, ugh…oh god, oh god…please, I…need to cum…now," I stuttered while his tongue fucked me. I felt a ball of pleasure in the pit of stomach waiting to be released. The toes on my feet curled as I planted them on his solid back. I couldn't decide whether to lie down or arch my back while he continued to suck my clit. My breath was erratic. I took huge gulps of air through my mouth. My heart beat so fast and hard that I heard the thumping of each heartbeat in my ears.

Just as I'm at the cusp of another glorious and hard orgasm, he pulled away. "Fuck Peeta," I screamed at him. My pussy ached and quivered from the imminent orgasm he was about to give me. Tears formed in my eyes. The ache in my pussy doubled in pain. "Peeta, please…"

During the seconds of agony, Peeta took off his shirt throwing it behind him. He stood up, unbuckled his belt and slid both pants and boxer shorts off down his legs. His cock was hard and erect as it bounced with his movements. I licked my lips in anticipation. He toed off his shoes climbed on the bed crawling on his hands and knees while I crawled backwards to the center of the mattress. His socks flew in every direction. I had the presence of mind to open my mouth, but words failed me again. I was too busy looking at his impressive erection. Pre-cum seeped from the slit of his penis. He took his right hand and rubbed his cock up and down from base to tip. I groaned in frustration.

"Make love to me," I whispered to him while I reach down between my legs and fingered myself opening my legs wide. He closed his eyes and hissed as he wrapped his fingers around his cock with both hands. "Peeta don't make me wait anymore." I reached both my hands over to grab his face. Our kisses were hard and demanding. "Now, baby now." I said as I lay back on the bed. Need and lust fueled me. Peeta opened his eyes to find me on my back and legs wide open before him.

As he hovered over me, he rubbed his cock over my seeping and wet pussy. Up and down over and over. I leaned on my elbows as we watched him rubbed his cock up and down my slit. "Peeta, I'm going to die if you don't fuck me soon," I whined. He stopped. Again.

Before I could yell at him for playing with my aching body, and me he settled between my legs and rubbed his length on my pussy while he kissed me hard on the mouth. My hips lost control. I thrust up and down his length waiting for him to enter me. My arms were around his neck melting our lips together. His tongue dueled with mine. The fire that was lodged on my belly roared higher into my chest. I was crying for release as the ache in my pussy returned tenfold. I criss crossed my feet on the base of his spine locking him in my embrace.

I pulled from his kisses needing to breathe. "I love you, Katniss," he spoke that I thought I imagined it. Then, he thrust hard and deep causing me to scream loud from pain and ecstasy. He was big and hard inside me. I bit into his shoulder. He hissed in pain in return. I had tears in my eyes while I sobbed my need and love for him. The pain and ache radiated from my pussy to my extremities causing me to tingle all over. At last, he was finally inside me, hard and deep while my muscles pulsed around him.

It was pain and pleasure all at once. I needed more. "I'm sorry," he hissed in my ear while he was stock-still and buried deep inside me waiting for my muscles to adjust to his wide, hard girth. After a few second later, pleasure replaced pain as he moved inside me in a slow and measured pace. His forehead touched mine while we gazed into each other eyes. He gritted his teeth with each plunge, thrusting deeper inside me. My hands gripped his upper arms digging my nails into his skin. I left half crescent cuts embedded on his arms. It didn't faze him.

"Katniss, I'm gonna cum," he hissed through his clenched teeth. I moaned in response speechless as I concentrated on the delicious feel of his cock thrusting slowly and deep. He was erratic while he plunged into me. I felt his breath on my face as the sweat on his forehead dripped onto mine. "Fuck, fuck. You feel so good. I don't know if…I can…oh god, you're squeezing me with your wet pussy." He looked down between us watching his hard cock disappear inside me. I studied his eyes that were mesmerized at our coupling.

We watched for a few seconds. Then I gasped as I felt my orgasm approaching. Delly warned me that I might not cum the first time since it would be too painful. But Peeta had me aching and dying inside after he made me cum with his mouth and fingers. The first initial pain was replaced with pleasure from the second orgasm he denied me. My release was sweet and long tightening on his rigid cock. "Katniss," Peeta yelled as he orgasm on top of me arching his back. I felt him cum inside me. After a second, he landed on my chest, heaving hard and fast through his mouth.

I wasn't surprised when his cock softened inside me. Johanna said that he would take a few minutes to recover for round two if I was lucky. He moved and laid on the bed beside me. I hissed in pain when his cock left my body. I couldn't concentrate with him inside me. There were tears in his eyes. "Peeta, are you…are you okay?" I asked with concern and worry etched on my face. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

"Katniss," he said. "Katniss." He was repeating my name like a chant.

"Are you okay?" I asked again. _'Did he have another flashback? Was he thinking of Eva?'_

"You didn't cum," he said disappointed with himself. I straddled his hips as he leaned on his elbows. I kissed him soft and sweet. He smiled back sad and ashamed.

"I did, Peeta." I kissed him. "It wasn't hard like the first time, but I did cum." He placed both his hands on my hips as he sat up returning my kiss. "Hmm…when can we do that again?" I asked while I shifted on his member feeling stir him beneath me. I smiled at his fast recovery.

"Shit, Katniss," he hissed. "Aren't you sore?" His hands moved up and down my spine while he peppered my face with little kisses.

"It hurt at first, but it felt really, really good with you inside me," my voice pitched low as desire hit me fast. I looked down beneath us feeling his cock stirred into awareness. "Are you sure you're okay?" I lay my forehead against his. Our first time was short and satisfying but I didn't want to push him for more even though I ached to have him again.

I waited a long time for this. Not much longer than Peeta but…it made me wonder how he felt each time I rejected his admission of his crush for me. The past couple of days were the most crippling pain I had experienced wondering if I lost him through my own stupidity. He felt like this for years loving and longing for me. I was cruel I can admit that. I truly didn't deserve him.

"I'm sorry, Peeta," I said to him while I clutched my arms around his waist. He pulled back.

"You're sorry?" he repeated with doubt and pain on his face._ 'Shit,'_ I cursed to myself. "Did I do something wrong?"

"No, I didn't meant to sound that way," I explained as I held his cheek in my palm. "I wanted to say I'm sorry for treating your horribly. During all the times we were together. After the arena, the Victory Tour and especially in…District 13." He was breathing hard and fast. This was not how I wanted our first time to be about…guilt and shame for treating abominably. "But I want you to know that I will do whatever it takes and no matter how long it will take…I'm going to make it up to you."

"Katniss," he sobbed. "Don't…please don't…bring that all back now." He closed his eyes. Tears dripped down his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Peeta," I cried out to him. We're both crying for different reasons.

"Is this why you're with me…you feel sorry for me?" He turned away looking at anything but me. I shook my head while I grabbed his face with both hands. Damn me for not finding the right words to explain myself.

"No, Peeta," I shook my head. "I'm with you now because I love you. I've been in love with you for so long and I was stupid and stubborn for denying it. I was hurtful and cruel to you." Tears continued to drip down his cheeks. "I love you so much. I can't live my life without you. I want to announce to Panem for the entire world to know that I love you. No more pretending, no more hiding what I feel for you. And, that you're mine and will always be mine. There is no one in the world than I love more than you. You are it for me." I rambled. Once I started I couldn't stop.

"There will never be anyone but you. And if you'll let me, I will…I'm going to make it up to you for the rest of my life." I couldn't take back for what I've done or said but I would make a great effort to be worthy of his love for me. He deserved that.

He looked at me. "Don't hide from me. We're in this together. We fight and protect each other." I nodded my head. He lay on his back and I followed lying on top of him. I sighed in contentment while he rubbed his hand down my back sending a chill down my spine. My center twitched with anticipation waiting for him to recover. I hoped for round two.

A few minutes later, he shifted us causing me to fall on my back. As he hovered over me, he moved his hands all over my body; mapping and memorizing each curve and dimple. I blushed. A pool of wetness surged from my center.

"I'll never tire seeing you like this," he said. He cupped a breast in his hand pinching my nipple. I gasped in need for him to continue. His cock twitched near my thigh. I waited.

"Are you still sore?" I shook my head. He looked down and gasped. "You're bleeding."

I sat up on my elbows. "Stay there. I'll be back in a second." He stood up and walked straight to bathroom. I stared at his nude form, watching his back muscles and ass. He was glorious in the nude. He returned with a soft wet towel. With out permission or any instruction, he spread my legs and wiped me clean. I sighed in relief and appreciation for his thoughtfulness. He was always taking care of me. It made me love him more.

He stood up. I quickly grabbed his hand forcing him down to face me. "Thank you, honey," I said and kissed him. I was never much for displays of affections but for Peeta, I craved it. After a quick kiss, he returned to the bathroom walking back with a glass of water. I extended my hand and took the glass drinking the liquid in huge gulps not realizing how thirsty I was.

I lay back on the bed pulling him on top of me. He looked into my eyes. "Katniss, I forgot something," he said. He felt warm and solid when he settled between my legs. We fit together like a lock and key. I moaned as his cock nestled just perfectly over my sopping center.

"What?" I asked. I was delirious with want and desire. Round two couldn't come fast enough. I didn't need the foreplay. Our first time had me sore but eager to feel him again. My body had been aching for him since our first sexual encounter with his mouth, tongue and fingers. I never knew what I was missing until now.

"I should have asked first before…I didn't think that this would happen here in the Capitol. So I wasn't prepared," he stated.

"What is it?"

"We didn't use a condom," he blurted. "I know it's just our first time, but…what if you get––"

"Peeta," I said to him. "I wasn't planning for this to happen either, but I hoped that we would eventually make love when you were ready." I smiled hoping that he would perceive my eagerness to move our relationship to another level. This level of intimacy I vehemently denied us. _'I'm an idiot,'_ I berated myself. "Kara gave me a shot when we first started to get intimate."

"Oh," he said. He raised his brows in surprise. I'm puzzled by his reaction. "You thought of us like this?" I nodded my head.

"I'm your girlfriend, Peeta," I returned. "Of course, I thought about it." A lot, more than I thought or wanted to admit to myself. "I dreamt and fantasized about it."

"Me, too," he confessed. "I didn't…I didn't know if we would ever…because of what happened with Eva. I've been afraid to…I dreamt of hurting her for what she did to me." He laid his head on my chest. "It hurts so much knowing that she tainted…twisted my mind dressing like you when she…"

"Don't talk about her, Peeta. If it hurts too much talking about it," I soothed him.

"I didn't want our first time to be tainted by her memory," he admitted. " How she twisted love and desire into something…dirty. That it would be wrong to make love to you because…"

"Don't ever think that what we do to each other is…wrong. What she did to you was not love but of obsession. She was twisted and sick."

"She made me feel scared to be with you this way," he confessed. "I fantasized about you for so long and she made my dreams of you perverse with Gale laughing at me. Making fun of me because I couldn't get an erection with her. But she wasn't you…I knew that."

"I don't ever want you to think that you have to push yourself," I said. "Don't feel pressured to do more than what you're ready for. I can wait for you."

"Thank you for being patient with me," he mentioned as he placed himself beside me lying on his side. I shifted on my side to look back at him.

"How could I not wait for you?" I returned. "You waited years for me."

"I would have waited a lifetime. If you only wanted friendship I would have been okay with that." He lay on his back. I readily placed my head on his chest at my usual spot whenever we lay in bed together.

"I wouldn't," I confessed. I was greedy and impatient when I wanted something. I wanted him, all of him with his fake leg and scarred skin. He was mine. He was all or nothing. Peace settled between. It was comforting to be in a place where there were more tragedies than happy memories for the both us. We lost so much because of this city and its' former tyrant. He couldn't take this away from us even though I was the one who fought against it due to my stupidity and stubbornness. Thank god Peeta had far more patience and understanding to forgive me.

I giggled in frustration and happiness. I looked up to find Peeta fast asleep with a peaceful look on his face. _'Round two would have to wait,'_ I told my raging libido. With my head nestled back on his chest, I closed my eyes. I felt at peace and happy for the first time.

* * *

**Peeta POV ––**

"Katniss," I gasped to awareness staring into the ceiling. It was still dark outside making me wonder what time it was. As I opened my eyes wider, I felt a pleasant sensation between my legs. It was not unusual for me to wake up with a raging hard on ever since Katniss and I had been sleeping together. This however was an exquisite awakening to find her sucking on my cock in a wanton pace. I raised my body leaning onto my elbows.

"Fuck, Katniss," I gritted between my teeth as the feeling intensified.

"I will in a moment," she slurped. "I'm kind of busy right now." She winked and proceeded to suck me dry forcing me to spread my legs wider. With one hand on the base of my cock while the other rub up and down, I felt an imminent orgasm build between my legs. I lost balance thinking that I had removed my leg during the course of the evening. I hadn't for it was still intact. My fake leg felt comfortable even with a night of twisting and turning on the bed. Beetee was right. My new leg could endure an evening like the one I had last night. I could attest to that. She had tight grip on my appendage as her mouth swallowed me whole causing me to forget about my lost limb. She made me feel like a man, whole and well loved.

"Oh god, Katniss," I wheezed in ecstasy. "Fuck, fuck." I was stunned to speechlessness. I wanted to say thank you, do that again and fuck me but my voice failed me. So I groaned instead telegraphing my pleasure and enjoyment. As much as I relished her mouth on me, I wanted something else. I wanted both of us to seek pleasure together. "Katniss, Katniss, please stop," I implored her. I placed a hand on the top of her head. She stopped.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked, her face displayed fear as if she did something hurtful.

I grabbed her upper body and pulled her onto my lap. She gasped in shock and surprise. "I want you to cum inside you," I instructed as she sat on my erection. "Do you feel that? You did that to me. I'm so hard for you and I want you riding me when I cum." She nodded her head in excitement.

Last night when I took her virginity, images of Eva flashed in my head for a moment. I recalled memories of her assaulting and laughing at me. I froze in terror and fear. It took me a moment to separate Eva in my head to Katniss who lay before me. I bit the inside of my mouth to erase the flashes of memories that had haunted me for months. What I had with Katniss was real and that she would never hurt me.

I reached down to her pussy to gauge her readiness. She was already soaking wet with desire. "I woke up wet for you," she announced. "Didn't you like me waking you that way?"

"God yes," I said panting with need and impatience. "But I was already dreaming of making love to you when I woke up. I want to be inside you."

She placed both hands on my stomach then eased down on my hard and aching length. "Fuck me," I yelled feeling her insides gripping me tight. She moaned in ecstasy as she lowered herself down inch by inch.

"You feel so deep inside me," she groaned. "I want more." I nodded my head and placed my hands on her hips helping her move up and down my cock. "Is this okay?"

I'm paralyzed and speechless as I watched my cock disappear inside her. It's a sight I'll never forget and hoped to repeat for the rest of my life. "Beautiful," I responded. I lay back pulling her on top of me while she continued to ride my cock. She stopped as the angle hit a spot inside her.

"Oh god, right there," she shrieked. I stilled her hips as I pumped in and out of her taking control. Her legs started to tremble and buckle so I anchored my hands on her hips and took over. "Yes, yes, right there, right there. Don't stop." My hips moved firm and fast. She was restless and out of control as she fought to keep her hands in one place. She grabbed my head and kissed me hard. After a few seconds, she grabbed onto the headboard to steady herself as I plunged inside her hard causing the bed to shake in rhythm to my thrusts. She struggled to breathe through her mouth, inhaling and exhaling gulps of air. The faster I went the more she lost control yelling and screaming for release. She was a sight to behold as I felt her orgasm approaching. "Shit, shit, oh god, oh god, oh god…don't stop, please don' t stop." I couldn't if I tried, as I felt a familiar tightening and pleasurable feeling on my balls. Thank god for my new leg allowing me to anchor myself on my feet with the discomfort of the fake limb pinching my stump. I could do this for hours.

Her pussy strangled my cock with each plunge and pull. My heart beat fast while I panted though my mouth. How I could I ever thought that Eva could come between us while we were making love? This was what I fantasized and lived for, her love and desire for me. I gritted my teeth while I watched her face above me. She was in the midst of pleasure and ecstasy and it was all because of me. I, Peeta Mellark was finally making love to the girl of my dreams, Katniss Everdeen. My heart jumped with joy. She was truly and finally mine.

"Peeta, Peeta," she chanted my name. With both hands Katniss grabbed my face and leaned down to kiss me. "Mmm…ugh, ugh…" she mumbled into my mouth while I pumped into her tight channel. "Please, please make me cum."

"You feel so fucking good," I cheered her on.

She smiled while placing her hands besides my head. "Oh, god, yes… yes…yes." She sat up and her eyes closed in ecstasy. I latched my mouth onto her bouncing breast sucking hard. "Fuck, fuck." She took three hard breaths.

"Peeta," she screamed into the ceiling arching her back. I smiled, wide and proud watching her cum hard. Her body seized for a moment before I lay her down onto the bed. Katniss had her eyes closed as I continued to thrust inside her. My hips jerked in and out waiting for her to come down from her high.

"You're trying to kill me," she moaned. Her channel was slick from her cum. Raising her legs off the bed, she wrapped them around my waist. I was so immersed in watching my cock disappear inside her that I didn't realize that she had called me name.

"Peeta." I looked down at my girlfriend. Katniss' eyelids were half open and she was breathing through her mouth with a happy satisfied smile on her face. I leaned down and kiss her. Soon, I lost control of my thrusts as I pumped hard and fast inside her. "Peeta, oh god, I need you to cum inside me." I nodded my head jerking my hips faster. I closed my eyes and arched my back as my orgasm hit me hard. My legs felt numb. I lost sensation from hips to feet with the exception of my cock. I exploded inside her feeling my cum filling her channel.

"Fuck," I screamed in pain and pleasure panting so hard I struggled to breathe. My head landed on Katniss' chest. I closed my eyes at the sheer pleasure of coming inside her. She wrapped me tight in her embrace whispering in my ear. I was dizzy from pleasure.

"I love you so much." Katniss kissed the top of my head. I felt my cock soften insider her so I moved to lift myself off of her. "Stay," she muttered tightening her arms around me. "I like feeling you inside me."

"I'm heavy," I added not wanting to crush her with my weight. I may had lost a lot of weight but my frame was sturdy; sturdy enough to carry Katniss from the rooftop to our bed. I slipped sideways still intact inside her. She moved one leg over my hip to snuggle closer to my body while she lay on my arm for support. We both were sweaty from our exertion.

"I really can get used to this," she hummed then reached over to kiss me.

"You mean giving each other this kind of wakeup call." I jerked my hips for emphasis. She hissed in response. I was about to pull away as she grabbed my hip clawing her nails into my skin. My glutes harden at her touch.

"Don't fucking move," she cried out. My eyes grew wide from her outburst. "I've been dying to have you inside––"

"Katniss, you have to be sore and uncomfortable," I wondered. As much as she felt good being inside her, I didn't want to hurt her more than I already had. I knew the first time was painful for women and though I may not brag about it, I'm not average in girth and length. It's a curse we Mellark men had to bear. I pulled away not waiting for her to respond. As expected she winced in pain.

But as soon as I lay back she perched her head on my chest. "I want to do it again," she said in a low tone.

I kissed to top of her head. "We will again and again until we're both exhausted but not right now." I rubbed my hand down her back. She shivered in my arms. "You cold?" Katniss shook her head.

"Will it always feel like that?" she inquired as she raised her head from my chest looking at me straight in the eyes. "Like your dying from the inside, waiting for that moment of pleasure but at the same time you want that feeling to last forever."

I smiled. For someone who couldn't express herself, she explained quite right. "I think so. I'd like to think that it would always feel like that between us…wanting someone so much but once you have them you'll want more…need more." I played with hair. "I never thought we'd be here in this moment."

"Peeta?"

"When I came back I knew we were over. I mean, it silly of me to have thought that since we were never together," I explained. Her lips trembled. I lay my head on the pillow and look straight ahead of me. The ceiling displayed a ray of light barely seeping through the curtains. It would be daylight soon. I sat up quickly dislodging Katniss from my chest.

"Peeta, what's wrong?" she cried out. She looked panicked and scared.

"Nothing, absolutely, nothing. Come on, put some clothes on," I instructed her.

"Peeta, it's almost morning," she whined.

"I know. Please indulge me," I said as my head disappeared under the bed looking for my shoes which I threw somewhere in the room. Katniss obediently covered herself with my t-shirt from last night and searched for her panty. I slipped on my boxer shorts and pants forgetting to use the belt. Not having any patience to find our footwear, I gave up. Extending my hand to her, she grabbed it. I grabbed the bed sheet off the mattress and led her out of the penthouse.

A minute or two we were back to where we started. At the rooftop. I sat on the blanket we deserted the night before pulling Katniss to sit in front of me. Then, I wrapped us both with the sheet and pulled her body on my chest. With my arms around her waist, she nestled between my legs. "Comfortable?" I asked her. She nodded her head and turned to kiss my cheek. "As I was saying, I never thought what we did last night would have ever happened after the rebellion. I was certain that you hated me, never wanted to hear or see me again. I was prepared to live with your resentment and hate." Katniss sobbed to herself.

"Peeta, don't do this now," she cried.

"Listen, I need you to listen," I said in firm voice grabbing her hair on the side of her head forcing her to look at me. She nodded her head in shame and guilt.

"We were done. I was done chasing after you." My throat tightened while struggled to not to cry in front of her. "I told Johanna that I wanted to see you one last time before…I permanently left 12. She agreed to co-sign my paperwork to live as a resident in District 7. Delly also applied too since she no longer had family there."

Katniss gasped in shock. "But stuff kept happening, the office misplaced my paperwork and they said they lost it. So I had to re-apply which I did. Then, the committee who was to approve of my paper, three of them fell ill and to be replaced." I sighed remembering the incidents. "Finally, it was approved."

"When?" she asked as she turned around to face me. She sat on my lap wrapping her arms around my waist. She felt warm and soft underneath my shirt. I was distracted for a moment when I remembered how she looked when she came with my fingers. "Peeta, when as it approved?"

"The day after the baking competition," I told her. She tightened her arms around my waist and shifted on my lap. "Then you announced to Panem that I belong to you during the baking competition. I couldn't figure out what it meant. But then, I was abducted and I had completely forgotten about it. After my house was burned to the ground, I thought this was a sign for me." I rubbed my nose on her cheek while a snuck a hand underneath her shirt feeling her warm stomach.

"What did it mean to you?" she asked.

"I thought I wasn't meant to stay at 12 with you," I admitted. "I actually thought my life was over when Eva…when she took me." She started to cry, soft and quiet to herself. "But then no matter how hard I tried or attempted to start over…start a life without you, you still managed to…no matter how much I wanted to leave I couldn't. Something or someone always led me back to you."

"I'm glad and grateful," she said as she placed a hand over mine inside her shirt. I looked at the horizon before us.

"Look Katniss," I said point to the scene in front of us. The sun appeared peeking from the horizon. Splashes of yellow, orange and the glass from the buildings in the Capitol provided a kaleidoscope of orange colors hitting building after building. For a city tainted with death from years of the arena, it was magnificent and breathtaking. We both stared at the rising sun, clutched together in warm and comfortable embrace in the city that took so much from us. Our lives were endangered; our families lost or broken and our sanity were almost ripped from us. This city devoured our lives and never returned you whole. I turned to Katniss.

"This city, this horrible place of death and evil," I stated, "it almost…took everything from us. It took you away from me…made me into a monster." Katniss opened her mouth to speak. I stopped and kissed her hard, tangling our tongues for domination. A few seconds later, we parted to breathe touching forehead to forehead with gray eyes seeking blue in want and desire. "But after last night, on this rooftop, we took back what they tried to steal from us…we fought and won, Katniss."

She nodded her head and smiled, her eyes twinkled with joy and happiness. "I'm grateful that we're here. Now, at this moment. I made a lot of mistakes getting here." She shook her head. I grabbed her face stopping her. "I know you made them too, but for me…I didn't have the courage to seek you out and talk to you before…the reaping. I lacked courage and confidence. I was a coward."

"Don't you ever fucking say that," Katniss replied with a tinge of heat and anger in her voice. "Don't ever say that to me. Because I was the one who was a coward. I was falling for you and I vehemently denied it…resented you for it." She sobbed. "No matter what you say, I know the truth…I don't deserve you." She held me tight clutching her arms around my neck as if she depended on it. "I denied us love, this intimacy and pleasure because of my stupidity and stubbornness. I will never deserve you but I'm lucky that you still want me…love me even after…"

"Hey, don't cry, Katniss," I soothed her aching heart. "I didn't bring you up here to make you feel bad."

"You don't have to," she sniffled. "I can manage on my own."

"No one, and I mean no one, not even you will talk about my gorgeous," I kissed her brow. "Sexy." I kissed her nose. "Fucking and delicious girlfriend that way." I kissed her lips, soft and sweet opening her mouth with my tongue to taste her. She groaned and pressed her chest on my mine. I felt her rock hard nipples beneath my t-shirt. The blanket around my shoulders fell on the ground pooling around our hips.

One hand crept under her shirt to palm her pert breast. Katniss sighed in my mouth and moaned as my fingers pinched her harden nipple. "Peeta, Peeta," she called out to me in my mouth. I was delirious with desire. She sat up and straddled my legs nestling her center on my erect cock. I groaned in response. "Peeta, let's go downstairs." I shook my head as I snuck a hand into her wet panties. "Ugh…shit, Peeta?"

"Right here, right now, I can't wait."

"But I thought you didn't want anyone to see us," she reminded me. It was too long a wait and walk back to the penthouse. Now that I knew what it felt like being inside her, I lost patience, logical and will whenever she was around me.

"Grab the blanket and wrap it around us" I gritted my teeth when a hand reached inside my boxer shorts taking hold of my hard cock. I moaned as she done as I instructed wrapping it high around our necks to hide our bodies.

As a few minutes of kissing and groping, I slide her panty aside and thrust a finger inside her. She screamed into my mouth. In return she pulled down my boxer shorts, releasing my hard cock from my pants. With gentle strokes and fingers, she rubbed my cock to hardness. I was in pain waiting and aching for her to envelope me with her mouth or pussy. We played with each other bodies for a minute then I lifted her hips, centered her pussy over my cock and pushed her panty aside not having any patience to remove them.

On her knees, she centered herself over my cock and plunged deep and hard. We groaned and moaned together. It was a relief to finally be inside her again. Katniss sat still while her body again adjusted to my girth. I gnashed my teeth together and waited. After a few seconds, she moved her hips up and down, in circular motion, and ground her hips with each downward thrust. Her breath grew uneven as she tried to breathe through her mouth. I watched her ride my cock while she held onto my shoulders digging her nails into my skin. She would intermittently kiss me, stealing my breath and shoved her tongue into my open mouth. She was glorious as she rode me hard, fast, but in a pace maximizing our pleasure. By now, I knew when she was close as she continued to bob up and down on my cock. A second before her muscles tightened around me I swallowed her right breast and suck her nipple hard once or twice. She screamed into the sky as her orgasm hit her hard taking me with her. I joined in with her cry of pleasure never taking my eyes off of her. A harsh gasp escaped through my mouth. Her eyes rolled to the back of her head causing her to close them while her chin pointed upward into the sky. I licked her exposed neck licking and nipping the skin. She tasted of sweat and vanilla, her favorite choice to bath her body. I leaned back to stare at her in adoration and awe.

The sun rose behind her causing her to glow. After a few seconds from her bliss, she smiled, a sleepy but happy smile appeared on her face. The sun hit her hair radiating a halo around her head. She was my angel, my devil, a blessing and a curse. She was a gift to be always treasured, loved and adored.

But most of all she was finally mine. I'm so engrossed and in awe with finally having Katniss to love that I didn't notice a pillar of smoke in the distance. It was a new and clean start for Katniss and myself. Little did we realize that a change was going to disrupt our happy moment.

* * *

**Delly POV ––**

"I'm hungry," I announced to the occupants seated at the table. Johanna ignored me. Today with no appointments or events to occupy us, she wore a pair of dark jean shorts and tank top. It was odd seeing her wear the Guardsmen uniform. The first time she wore it I broke into tears. The regalia reminded me of Bron, my former and lying ex-boyfriend.

"When are you not?" Haymitch chided me. He sipped his coffee and winced. The brew was still hot…hot enough to burn the insides of your mouth if you're impatient.

"Well, why don't you try eating for two and not be hungry all the time?" I retorted. I can't help it. I was hungry all the time. Baby Masters, I mean Baby Cartwright was wrecking havoc to my appetite and libido. If I wasn't hungry I was horny or visa versa. Then I also was hungry and horny. I turned into an evil bitch when I'm in that condition.

"I wish Peeta was here to make me Cheese Buns," I sighed while I bit a large piece of buttered toast. "Baby Cartwright misses them."

"You know you should really find out the sex of the baby," Johanna suggested. "It's going to be a long pregnancy call him or her Baby Cartwright." She shoveled a spoonful of eggs into her mouth and bit her toast.

Escorted by Rory Hawthorne, Effie left bright and early this morning for a meeting with…I don't remember. But she had a meeting with someone that Haymitch explained the night before we rushed off to bed. Bron was returning from District 13 dropping off Hayden and Julia two days before at District 8. Then taking Beetee back to District 13 and quick flight back to Capitol.

I sniffed as a dose of melancholy and sadness hit me hard. "Bron…Bron and I decided that when we were going to start a family," I sobbed and broke into tears. "We were going to find out about the sex of our baby together." I wailed loud while shoving bread into my mouth. I couldn't do that now. Not without him. But I guess I should since we were not together anymore. My left ring finger left odd without my engagement ring. I shook my head from the sad thought and reminder of my single status.

"Damnit, Johanna," Haymitch berated her. "Did you have to do that?"

"What?" she exclaimed turning her head to Haymitch while she continued to chew her breakfast.

"You made Delly cry," he accused her.

"Fuck you, Haymitch," she sneered back. "I just told her she needed to know if she's having a boy or girl." I sobbed louder.

"See, you did it again," he groaned.

"You really don't know about women while their pregnant," she explained. "She's going to be sensitive about everything, you know. She's hormonal." I blew my nose into my napkin and wiped my eyes. "Besides that, she's going to be horny as well." I wailed and sobbed thinking about Bron and how much I miss him. Haymitch shook his head in defeat.

"This is going to be long pregnancy. I can't tell," he added. "How far along are you again?" He looked at me with a pinched expression on his face.

"I'm two and half months pregnant," I informed him. He closed his eyes.

"It's only for seven and half more months, Haymitch," Johanna expressed. "It's not like you carrying it. You guys are lucky. You don't experience the hormonal changes in your body while a little person invades and takes control of your emotions. You guys have it easy."

"She's going to be hormonal?" Haymitch gawked. "Johanna, she's…"

"Yes," Johanna narrowed her eyes at him. "She as in Delly is going to be what?" She had a _'say something bad about Delly while she's pregnant and alone, and I'm going to smack you in the head,'_ expression on her face. She's my hero.

"Never mind," he sighed in defeat and recognition that it was a losing battle with three women taking charge with his life. He should be thankful and pleased for such a privilege. Who else would put up with his drunken ways? (Well he wasn't so much anymore). "I wish Effie was here." He muttered under his breath.

We looked at him. "Is there something you want to tell us?" Johanna inquired.

"What?" he returned with a guilty look on his face.

'You and Effie?" I insisted. "You two seem…"

"Seemed what?"

"A little too chummy these past few days," Johanna explained.

Haymitch stood up. "Oh, no. You two are not going to––" Before he could finish the phone rang. "I'm going to answer that, now if you two will excuse me."

"Coward," Johanna snickered. "We're going to get answers from you one way or another."

"Or I'm going to ask Effie herself," I threatened him.

"Don't you dare say anything to Effie or I'll..."

"Weren't you going to answer the phone, Haymitch," Johanna reminded him waving her hand in an imperious manner.

"Too much estrogen…" he said under his breath.

"Excuse me," Johanna asked, her brows greeted her bangs. Haymitch ran out the room. Johanna and I stared at his back as he disappeared into the next room. A second later, we burst into laughter. I had tears in my eyes a minute later.

"Am I really hormonal, Johanna?" I asked, wondering if I was driving everyone crazy with my pregnancy-induced behavior. I was sensitive to everything I could admit that. Two things occupied my mind, sex and food. I craved one or the other or both. This was going to be a long and hard pregnancy without Bron.

"Well…" Johanna started. Haymitch ran back into the room.

"Delly, Johanna come quick into the living room," he instructed us.

"What's wrong, Haymitch," Johanna asked as we stood in said room while he turned on the monitor.

"_We have the last update from last night's incident,"_ Arn DeVille reported on screen. Why is it that every time we turned on the news, Arn was only person we saw reporting any news about anything. Did the man ever sleep at all? He was standing in front of a gated fence outside the Capitol military airfield landing area.

"What's going on," I asked. "Weren't you talking to Effie?" I turned to him to find him with the phone receiver in his hand listening. He held up a finger for silence.

"Okay, let me know if you hear anything else," he finished then dropped the phone on the cradle. "Delly…"

"…_so from what I gathered this morning."_ Arn spoke as he held a finger into his ear listening to a microphone. _"It was confirmed that the new Commanding Officer Johanna Mason's hovercraft was shot down as it hovered over the Capitol military airfield on its way to land. Though the return flight was not a regular scheduled flight, the hovercraft was permitted to land when…before it reached the landing port an explosion was seen and heard on the rear engine of the craft. We don't know if it was engine failure but witness reports claim that a foreign projectile hit the craft as it hovered over the airfield."_

He stopped for a moment as he turned around and watch a medical ambulance drove further into the field behind Arn. _"Again to reiterate, report as to whether Commander Mason was aboard is still unclear."_ I gasped in horror. My stomach churned, a ball of pain bubbled inside me. Bron. Bron was returning from flying Hayden, Julia and Beetee at District 8 and 13. He was the father of my unborn child. The man who betrayed Peeta and me, the one person who I loved and trusted enough to a fall in love after my world was destroyed by the rebellion. I'm paralyzed with disbelief.

"_We don't have any other information until the crash is cleared as fire continues to burn…and…The area is in chaos and we don't know if there are any survivors as it crashed landed at the edge of the airfield."_ Arn continued to report the incident. I turned my head. Johanna's face was stricken with fear.

"Delly…Delly?" I heard someone say my name. Whether it was Johanna or Haymitch, I was too numb and in shock for my mind to register who spoke. I looked down realizing that my hands automatically went to my belly protecting my baby. The next thing I knew it, I felt world spin around me and the world turned black.

* * *

_**AN: Thank you for reading this chapter. Like I said, Peeta and Katniss deserved a chapter dedicated for their first time. I hoped it was worth the wait. Until next week I hope you have a great weekend. ;)**_


	48. Chapter 48 - Turning Point

The Weary Heart 10/18/2015

Chapter 48 – Turning Point

_AN: Thanks to those who reviewed my last chapter [Lillian, Tea4e, LACR, Matainer, sheshe32 and guests] and for those who alerted and favored my story. There are never enough words to write down my appreciation for your thoughts and comments. They are immensely appreciated. As usual, Hunger Games belongs to Suzanne Collins and any mistakes found are mine. Warning: chapter includes foul language [mostly from Johanna's POV and a mention of sex._

* * *

**Johanna POV ––**

I swallowed the bile that threatened to rise from my throat. Kara hovered over Delly who lay on her bed. I'm unaccustomed to seeing her pale, weak and sad. Though I loathed to admitting it, I rely on her sunny disposition and generous nature. People like Delly and Peeta restored my faith in humanity. Well, some of humanity.

Haymitch had carried her to the room we shared right after fainting with the news of Bron's accident. Can I say it's an accident when every bone in body screamed for an attempt of his life or rather my life?

Kara listened through the stethoscope that lay on Delly's belly. She was frightened for her baby. She carried her child for 10 weeks, a duration long enough for her to create a bond with her unborn child even if she or he was a size of a grapefruit. A very hungry grapefruit that affected her voracious appetite. It's no wonder she didn't weight 200 hundred pounds. Kara said that the fetus had started to form arms, fingers, legs, toes and a spinal column. I was tempted to ask her if she was sure she didn't want to know the sex of the grapefruit-sized fetus. It wasn't my call.

I turned my mind to another matter while Kara continued to examine her. It wasn't proven yet that a projectile was the cause of the crash. But many witnesses speculated and guessed that the incident was not engine failure but an attack. The markings on the hovercraft designated for the Commanding Officer of the Guardsmen were obvious to those who recognized the hovercraft. I was the primary target for the attack. Who else would strike down the hovercraft and had the know-how and weaponry to down the craft? The incident screamed of Gale Hawthorne all over. There were only two types of weapons created during the rebellion especially made for Gale and Katniss that could yield that kind of destruction.

He was coming after me. _'Let him come,'_ the words burst in my head. The coward didn't have the decency to confront me like a man and face me out in the open. The knives sheathed on my waist and ankle felt heavy. I clutched my hands into fists holding back the fury and rage. I wanted to hunt down the motherfucker for causing chaos and fear for our lives. It was time we turned the tables.

"Johanna," Delly's voice interrupted my inner wrath. I looked down at her. She trembled as she reached out her hand to me. Normally, any kind of affection would have me running out the room, but she needed me. Since Bron's betrayal, she had held herself up with courage and strength I never knew she possessed. She held on for her unborn child.

"Can you get anyone from your office to find out what's going on? Is he…I need to know if Bron is…" She broke into tears. Her wiry arms were wrapped around my waist clutching hard while she slobbered all over my clothes. "I need to know if he's okay?"

I nodded my head. He may have betrayed Peeta and her but they wouldn't want any harm to come to him. They were those types of people…forgiving, understanding and calm even to their enemies. Well, with the exception of Gale…he's a different story. "Haymitch is on the phone with Effie," I told her while I pulled back and handed her a tissue. "If anyone can get through to give us any news, it would be Effie." She blew her nose in the most unladylike fashion. I snickered at her. "You sound like an elephant. Where are your manner, Miss Cartwright?" I said in Effie's Capitol accent. She giggled in return.

"I saw one at the Capitol zoo," she sobbed while wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. She was trembling, hard. "I've never been to one so Bron took me there on one of our dates." Her lips quivered. She lay back down on the bed and turned to Kara.

"Is my baby okay?" she asked. "I didn't hurt it, did I?" She was close to bursting into tears again. I grabbed her hand for support and comfort. Her tiny fingers clutched into my hand. She covered her mouth with the back of her other hand. She didn't deserve this.

Kara shook her head. "The baby's fine, Delly. Strong likes its' mother and father." Delly wailed. "Hey, don't upset yourself." She reprimanded her. "You're ten and half weeks along now and the baby has definitely made some progress." She lifted Delly's shirt further. There was an apparent bump on her belly that wasn't there before. "Don't add to much stress on yourself. It's not good for the baby." I scoffed at her.

"You do realize who she is and company she keeps?" I stared into Kara's eyes. "She just broke off her engagement to a guy who betrayed her best friend, who happens to be Peeta Mellark. Who also happens to be in love with Katniss Everdeen. They are the famous Star-Crossed Lovers of District 12 and the most celebrated Victors of the last two Hunger Games. She's the MockingJay and he's the traitor of the rebellion.

And to top of it off, Peeta is being stalked by the former best friend and the former Commanding Officer of the Guardsmen, Gale Hawthorne who is obsessed over Katniss and the very same person who wants me dead for taking away his coveted job. And, she's friends with me and Haymitch Abernathy, formers Victors of the Games."

I snorted. "How much more stress do you think she can handle in that company and situation let alone pregnant."

"Well, at least I know she's safe and well taken cared for," Kara said. "The next couple of months are critical for the survival of your child, Delly," she informed her. "Where are Peeta and Katniss? I was hoping I could check up on him." Delly and I looked at each other.

"They're in seclusion," I answered her. "The sessions were hard on them, so we thought to give them some space."

"They're upstairs," Delly added. "Alone."

"I was wondering why Haymitch asked me to visit this floor." She stood up and collected the medical bag. "Do they know about Bron?" I shook my head.

"I...we're keeping them in the dark until tomorrow," I told her.

"Do you think that's a good idea?" she asked me. "If I remember correctly Peeta hates being kept out of the loop about things that involve him." I winced at her reminder. Haymitch and I decided to let them know tomorrow before he goes to this first treatment the following day. "It be wise for you to reconsider and let them know right away incase…they find out."

"We don't have the full details and any news regarding the accident," I defended myself. "I want some news before we burst Peeta and Katniss' privacy and solitude." I knew, Peeta. He would be beside himself and taking the blame if Bron was hurt or…

She took out a pen/needle out of her bag. "Delly, can you take his blood today and send it to my the clinic as soon as possible?" She nodded her and sat up.

"Do I have to do it today?"

"As soon as you can," Kara replied. "How is he, by the way?"

"We don't know," I answered. Kara's brow crinkled.

"He's been unusually quiet and unresponsive to us. Delly's been trying to get him to eat his meals and…he was keeping Katniss at a distance after the session," I started.

"She wasn't taking his emotional distance well. So we sort of had an intervention and left him alone with her. Upstairs, by themselves," Delly added.

"I see," Kara stated. I thought I detected fear and worry on her face.

"He won't hurt her if you're concern," I said. The thought of Peeta hurting Katniss was the furthest thing on my mind. As a matter of fact, she was safer with him than without him. Even if Peeta thought otherwise. If he had his way, he would have sent her away from him as far as possible. But Katniss, now that she adored and loved Peeta, nothing and no one could keep her from him. Even Peeta himself.

"I know he won't," she returned. "I have faith that Peeta is well enough to keep her safe. He would die before he would hurt her." I agreed wholeheartedly. "I have good news, I wanted to tell him personally but I guess it can wait." My curiosity was piqued but before she could continue we were interrupted.

"So how's Delly, doc," Haymitch asked as he walked into the room. "How's the baby?" He asked like a concerned uncle. It was sweet.

"Haymitch. She's doing fine," Kara answered. "She and baby Cartwright are healthy and strong just as along as she doesn't stress herself, they'll be fine."

"Any news, Haymitch?" Delly inquired as she sat up.

"Effie says that he and the co-pilot were airlifted to the main clinic," he answered her. "But she doesn't know their condition." He sat on the bed and took her hand. "I'm sorry Delly. She doesn't know any more than that. But she promised to keep me informed."

"I want to see him," she sobbed.

"Delly," Haymitch started. "I don't think…"

"Please, I need to see if the father of my child…I need to see Bron," she cried out while Haymitch took her in his arms. It was heartbreaking watching her alone and with child, fearing for the life of her baby's father. All Haymitch could do was agree while she continued to cry on his shoulders.

One hour later, Haymitch accompanied Delly to the medical facility where Bron was transported. I stayed behind for Katniss and Peeta. We decided to inform them of the situation once we had better news. I flinched as I agreed with Haymitch while Delly argued to let them know right away.

"Delly, you know that Peeta and Katniss are in the most delicate time in their relationship right now," Haymitch informed her. "He's undergoing his treatment in a couple of days…Kara said that he has to be in a complete stress free state of mind if he's to survive them."

"How do you think he's going to feel when he finds out you've been keeping Bron's situation as secret from them," Delly countered. "What if he finds out in the news?"

"You know that they don't listen to the any Capitol broadcast," I reminded her.

"Just for a day, Delly," Haymitch begged. "I want to keep them…they need to be free from any worries. There's so much shit going on right now." He passed his hand to the top of his head rifling his fingers through his hair or what was left of it. "They've been through so much…I know that the last session nearly…derailed them."

"But this…he's going to be so angry when he finds out that you didn't tell him––"

"Delly, I will take full responsibility for the fallout, okay?" Haymitch accepted. "I know Peeta…as long as you and Johanna are okay, he'll deal." He sighed and took a deep breath. "Bron is…was his friend. He'll take his cues from you. He won't…I need to make sure that you, Johanna and Effie are safe…that is what's important to him. He'll do anything to keep you all safe. You're his family now."

"It'll only be for a day, Delly," I assured her. "Besides, you need to be with Bron…if that's what you want." Defeated and outnumbered, she nodded her head.

Alone in the penthouse suite, I'm restless and wired. The need for violence and alcohol was tempting, but since Haymitch was doing well into his sobriety I kept away from my own personal indulgence for his sake. Besides, I needed to have a clear mind in dealing with Peeta's situation. I wouldn't want to be caught unaware.

Hawthorne was spiraling out of control. He will come after Peeta now. If not, Katniss. For his attack on Bron was a warning. He would come after everyone Peeta cared for and loved. He already came after Peet almost killing his twin. It was certain now, we knew Peeta's fate if Gale was to get his hands on him.

Haymitch had the foresight to call Thom in 12 to secure himself, Sae and Tamryn's safety. I sent a newly trained group of Guardsmen to guard Katniss' mother and Annie at District 4. A group of four Guardsmen that were not acquainted or influenced by Gale. A group of new recruits Rory were trained and familiar with. We couldn't afford to be careless and irresponsible for everyone's safety. He had declared war on the people we love. No one was safe from him.

Bron was his next casualty after Peet. He would be his last. I would make sure of it. Rory was Effie's permanent guard until this was over. We counted on his relationship with his older brother to ensure Effie's life in Rory's hands. But I wondered,_ 'Would he be angry enough to go after Rory too?'_

My anger simmered for a while. It wasn't fair that we had not gained the peace and safety we struggled to survive for. Peeta, Annie and I did not escape the Capitol and Snow to have someone like Gale to threaten our lives. He certainly didn't know Peeta very well.

Though Bron had betrayed him, Peeta would have never let anything happen to him especially since he is the father of Delly's baby. But most of all, he cherished life above all. Even with his worst enemy. Would he make Gale an exception? I believed he would especially if he endangered Katniss. I agreed with Kara's assessment of Peeta's state of mind and devotion, he would never hurt Katniss. He'd rather die then let anything happen to her especially if he was the cause of injury or pain to her.

Bored, I had decided to visit the rooftop to clear my head. There was nothing I could do but wait for Haymitch and any news he had on Bron. I certainly would not have left leaving Peeta and Katniss unguarded. I hoped her plan to reconcile with Peeta worked. His fragile state of mind would be tested once he heard about Bron.

I unsheathed the blade from my waist. I sighed at it with melancholy. It was a gift given to me by Finnick O'Dair. It was a gift that only I could appreciate. He knew me well.

I miss Finnick. His friendship and camaraderie I missed the most. He would have been so pleased and amused with Peeta and Katniss' blossoming relationship. I remembered arguing with him that the Star-Crossed Lovers weren't real.

* * *

**_Flashback –– Beach, Quarter Quell_**

"_You didn't see her, Johanna," Finnick explained to me while we stood at the beach. The water kissed our feet with each crashing wave. The night was calm and soothing despite the circumstances. For now we were safe. Peeta and Katniss were seated 20 yards away from us. She as usual was surly and scowled at us from a distance. "She really does care about him. You should have seen her when Peeta was struck down by the force field. She was beside herself with grief when she thought he was dead."_

"_Yeah, she's so in love with him, I want to vomit," I scoffed at him. Since falling in love with Annie, Finnick had a soft side I never knew existed. He was a man in love with weak-minded Annie Cresta, one of his tributes that became a Victor by pure chance and luck. I couldn't see or understand the attraction. Love made fools of men and women. "She doesn't care about him the way he does about her. You can see it in his eyes, the way he looks at her." I rolled my eyes. "He so besotted with her, it's quite sickening."_

"_He loves her," Finnick added. "There's nothing wrong with that. Just because she doesn't act like some love struck schoolgirl doesn't mean she doesn't love him the same way."_

"_There is when she doesn't feel the same," I whispered back. I couldn't afford to have the microphone record our conversation for all Panem to hear. "He's like a puppy trailing after her. It's really pathetic." I threw a rock into the waves. The tide was rising. I looked back to see Peeta and Katniss huddled close together. Beetee guaranteed that our conversation could not be heard due to the crashing waves surrounding us. We didn't want to take any chances._

"_I really thought that their relationship was mostly one sided, but after seeing her with him. I think she's just doesn't know how much she really cares for him. How much she really does love him," he sighed. "It's sad really. Because if something really bad happens to him, I don't think she'll recover."_

"_Well, isn't that why we're here," I said to him. "Making sure they both survive. I thought it was really stupid and cruel of Haymitch to not tell them about…" Finnick struck his trident on my leg._

"_Ow, what the fuck, Finnick," I yelled at him making sure he didn't pierce my wetsuit and drew blood. The last thing I needed was to die of an infection from his trident. I would rather die from the cry of battle than from an infection that Finnick inflicted on me as we argued over the Star-Crossed Lovers of District 12. How pathetic would that have been?_

_He narrowed his eyes. Then looked around us reminding me where we were and who could possibly be listening. It was close to midnight, within half an hour. "I really hope that everything works out," Finnick sighed and turned his head toward our charge. "They really do belong to each other." _

"_I bet you a whole case of Winters Solstice that they're not real, Finnick," I challenged. I wasn't certain of the plans Plutarch and Haymitch would work, but it made me hopeful, focused for the mission on hand-keep MockingJay alive and her companion. 'She's the fire to ignite the rebellion. We need her alive.'_

"_You're on, Mason," he smiled displaying his perfect, white teeth. Despite his sweet tooth, Finnick managed to have great teeth. I have heard of horror stories of Capitolites spending a lot of money for their dental work. Enobaria was a great example. I shuddered at the thought of sharpening not only my canines, but the molars and incisors as well. Dentistry was a thriving business. "Make sure to pay up when I win." I rolled my eyes at him._

"_We have to survive this first, O'Dair," I quipped back. _

"_You're such a kill joy," he returned. "I bet you one day, you'll find someone who'll restore your faith humanity and fall in love one day."_

"_That will never happen." I chuckled at his optimism and romantic delusion. It's what I loved about Finnick, his eternal and positive outlook for the good things in life. I looked at Peeta and Katniss. It would take a lot to convince me that Katniss loved Peeta. I knew she cared about him, but actually love him? Her demeanor and actions towards him contradicted any indication of her devotion to him. Peeta's affections I couldn't deny. "I'm going to check up on Beetee." I pondered at the bet I made with Finnick. 'I just hope we live to collect the bet.'_

**_End Flashback ––_**

* * *

I replaced the blade back on my belt and smiled. "I owe you a whole case of Winters Solstice, O' Dair," I spoke into the space before me.

My feet led me straight to the rooftop. I took the stairs needing the exercise. Between Delly cooking and Peeta's baking, I had gained a considerable amount of weight. I'm not fat mind you, but healthy as I ever been since I had also eliminated alcohol in my diet. The sun hit my face. I welcomed the warmth and breathe of air while I stepped further into the rooftop. To my surprise, I found Peeta and Katniss seated on a blanket. Well, Peeta was seated on the blanket while Katniss straddled his lap. She was feeding him with a cheese bun in her hand. I tried not to drool and react to the treat she was feeding him. I missed his cheese buns. He moaned as he chewed the bread while Katniss giggled in front of him. Then she leaned down to kiss him.

"You taste delicious," I caught Peeta words as he mumbled into her kisses. She shifted on his lap.

"Katniss," he hissed. "I can't eat with you sitting on my lap." She shifted again. "You're going to kill me…if you don't stop I'm going to…oh god…"

"What are you going to do, Peeta?" she asked, her voice low and husky.

"Hey you two," I announced myself. Startled, Katniss leapt off his lap in embarrassment. Peeta turned his head and just smiled, a big wide, goofy and hopelessly-in-love kind of smile I have never seen before. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion.

I smiled back hoping not to snicker at them. It was obvious of what they were doing as Peeta criss-crossed his leg and placed a napkin on his lap to hide his…

"Good morning, Johanna," Peeta said. His normally groomed hair was tousled and in disarray. "Would you like to join us for breakfast?" Around them was an array of plates and dishes filled with fruits, eggs, bacon and his famous cheese buns. Off to the side were two decanters of coffee and tea.

"I didn't meant to interrupt your…meal," I winked at Katniss. She blushed a deep red on her cheeks. There was a happy and healthy glow about her. I concluded that she finally got her _'Peeta lovin.' _My heart leaped for joy. It was about time.

"You didn't," Katniss recovered from her embarrassment. "Peeta made enough to feed an army." She pointed to the blanket before her. "What were you thinking, Peeta?" She bit onto a bun herself while her eyes gazed onto her boyfriend adoringly.

"I couldn't help it," he sighed. "I woke up really hungry this morning." His voice was directed to Katniss, his eyes never leaving hers. Blue twinkled on steel gray. "But please join us, Johanna I doubt we can eat all this anyway."

"I bet," I snickered at them as I sat down in front of him. I reached over and grabbed a cheese bun. "So…" The bread was still warm, the cheese gooey as I took a bite. I moaned in pleasure.

"Where is everybody?" Peeta asked while he sipped his tea. I stuffed a large piece of bread into my mouth to avoid answering him. _'Oh, shit,'_ I winced to myself. Haymitch was going to kill me.

Katniss laughed, "Slow down, you look like a chipmunk," she chortled.

"Sorry," I mumbled with my mouth full. I gestured to the bun. "I miss these." I chewed for several seconds and swallowed. Hmm, damn these were good. "I hoped you made more for Delly, Haymitch and Effie."

"Don't worry," Katniss sounded. "Peeta made enough for everybody." She sidled beside her boyfriend brushing her arm against his.

"You didn't answer me," Peeta reiterated. "Where is everybody?" I sighed and pondered whether to lie and delay the inevitable.

"Can we sit here for a while and enjoy the moment," I asked them. They nodded their heads. "I swear everyone is fine. Just give me a moment." I relished the moment of silence amongst us. The sun hovered above hidden behind a few scattered clouds. It was a beautiful day. A new beginning for them. I was about to shatter their world.

I gazed at Peeta and Katniss as they sat next to each other. They looked at peace and happy together. Their devotion and love shone brighter than the sun. 'Mission accomplished,' I telegraphed my words to Katniss. Too bad I was about to burst their happy bubble. Damn Hawthorne.

"I'm sorry, Peeta," I started. "There was an accident early this morning…"

Half an hour later, we entered the hospital facility. Peeta held Katniss' hand while we rode up the elevator. "You should have told us sooner," Peeta spoke breaking the silence between us. To say he was angry when I told him what happened was an understatement. He was livid with fury and disappointment at Haymitch and me. "I'm not surprised that Haymitch would try to keep this from me, but you…Johanna…how could you?"

"Peeta, I'm not going to apologize for agreeing with Haymitch," I sneered at him. "We wanted to give you and Katniss a day…just one day to yourselves." I crossed my arms around my waist. My rifle was strapped behind my back with a handgun attached to my belt.

"Peeta," Katniss sounded, her voice low. "Haymitch meant well…so did Johanna." She turned her head at me. The burden of telling him the news weighed heavy on my chest.

"You know how I feel about you…keeping things from me," he accused me. At this point, he was resigned. His anger only lasted a few minutes. He glanced at his band and took several deep breaths to control himself. Peeta was getting better at controlling his outbursts or fits of anger. I feared for his health and state of mind. Peeta had always been a calm and easygoing person, but with the hijacking, the venom riled him easily and quickly. He was never quick to anger.

"I wanted to wait…for my office to brief me," I explained. "Besides, Delly wanted to see him. All we were told was that he was airlifted to this hospital."

"So you have no idea of his condition?" Katniss asked. I shook my head. The door opened. We walked down the corridor to find Haymitch outside Bron's room.

"Johanna, what the hell," he said with anger and disbelief in his eyes. "I thought we agreed––"

"Don't you dare get mad at her, Haymitch," Peeta started. "I need to see Delly and see how she's doing."

"How's Bron," Katniss inquired. Haymitch dug his hands in to his pant's pockets.

"Bron was able to land the craft but the impact…from the crash…"

"What?" I asked. I feared the worst.

"The medical team found him unconscious," Haymitch said. "He has a compound facture on both legs, four broken ribs that punctured his lung, a broken right arm and…hairline fracture on his nose. He hit is head pretty hard leaving him unconscious. His helmet was able to cushion his head from any serious brain injury. At the moment, he's in a coma."

"But he's alive," Peeta interjected.

"Barely, but the doctors said because he's relatively healthy and strong, he'll live to see the birth of his unborn child." I sighed in relief for Delly and her baby. "However, his recovery is going to be long and painful. He'll have to go undergo several months of physical therapy to get his strength back on his legs. For now, he needs to rest while the swelling on his head subsides."

"Is Delly in there with him?" Peeta asked. Haymitch shook his head.

"She's actually in your old room," he answered. "She took it pretty hard when she saw him." Without a word, Peeta took off and ran to his room, which was just around the corner of the corridor. I grabbed onto Katniss' arm.

"Let him go to Delly, Katniss," I instructed her. "She needs him right now." Katniss was hesitant for a few seconds.

"You two can go in if you like to see Bron. He's unconscious so…" Haymitch's phone rang disrupting him.

"I have to get this. It's Effie," he announced as he walked down the hallway and exited the floor into the stairwell. The reception on this floor was crappy. It was designed so that no audio or video feed could be seen or heard from would-be paparazzi who may infiltrate the private floor.

Bron was deathly white as he lay on the bed. The sound from his heart monitor resonated in the air. He was unrecognizable with his face black and blue from the bruises and contusions he received from the crash.

"It's was no wonder that Delly reacted the way she did," I spoke. "He really looks awful."

"At least he's alive, Johanna," Katniss commented. "It's better than the alternative. I thought the worse."

"Me too,"

"I hated Bron for what he did to Peeta and Delly," she said. "I kept thinking…wondering if he had said something in the beginning. Would we have been able to prevent all the horrible things that happened to Peeta? I asked so many _'what-ifs'_ in my head."

"It's too bad that he didn't man up from the beginning," I said as I shook my head. "Knowing Delly like I do, she would have forgiven him."

"Peeta too," Katniss added.

"Kinda of pointless thinking of _'what could have been'_ now," I snickered. "I swear if I didn't adore Peeta and Delly, those two are the most annoyingly sweet, trusting people I have ever met.' Katniss smiled and nodded her head. "How could we have known what Gale was up to? How could we have connected or guessed that Bron and Gale knew each other? We should have suspected something, he's a Guardsmen."

"That's true but Gale hated anyone from the Capitol. And Bron was born and raised a privileged citizen of this wretched city. I never suspected Bron after she introduced himself as Delly's boyfriend. Bron and Gale, the thought of them knowing each other didn't cross my mind." She had point there. But I never knew the depth of Gale's hatred for the Capitol. Sure I hated them myself but I took advantage of my status as a Victor. If the Capitol used me, I returned the favor with equal fervor and pleasure.

"Peeta said something to me a while back," she mentioned. "He said…that we shouldn't really blame Bron for what happened to him." I scoffed at her statement. It was typical Peeta. "This whole thing…his ordeal was Gale's fault. If there was anyone to blame it was he." She sighed and sat down on a chair. "But you know what, Johanna? I blame me."

"No Katniss," I corrected her. "Peeta's right…if there is anyone to blame it's Hawthorne and his delusions––"

"You don't understand," she continued. "I toyed and played with his feelings for me. Just like I did with Peeta."

"That may be true but…Peeta wouldn't have gone ape shit crazy if you chose Gale," I reminded her. "And he was the one that was hijacked. They brainwashed him to kill you and he fought that. He fought every hour of every day to get better. He fought for you, even knowing that you wouldn't want to be with him."

"But…if I hadn't––"

"Katniss, you're not responsible for his behavior or how he turned out after the war," I interjected. "That's all on him. He's a grown man who lost the girl. Peeta would have never gotten in the way of your happiness if you chose him. We have to take responsibility for our own behavior."

"I just wished I had the courage to have admitted to myself how much Peeta meant to me…maybe Gale wouldn't have––"

"It wouldn't have matter whether you admitted it to yourself after the first arena, during the Victory Tour or the Quarter Quell, Katniss," I suggested. "You had no control or any idea how Gale would have reacted. I think he was always unstable for some time. You just don't get that way suddenly."

"I guess," Katniss acknowledged. ""I'm just so lucky and happy that Peeta forgave me. When I thought of all the times, I was cruel, mean…avoiding him…it breaks me heart thinking how he must have felt each time I…"

"He loves you…even in his hijacked mind. He loved you."

"I know." I sat next to her. I couldn't handle the despair and self-loathing that Katniss was feeling. It was unbecoming of her, but I guess falling in love with Peeta made her more human and infallible. She was just a girl after all behind her MockingJay image and persona.

"So…how was your 'night' with Peeta?" Katniss' cheek turned red. Wow, that was fast. "That good huh?" She nodded her head. "How good exactly?"

"Johanna, that's private," she yelped and shifted on her seat.

"Hey, I want details," I snickered at her. Her eyes grew wide, huge to be exact. I wanted this distraction for a while. And talking about sex was always a great distraction. "Delly and I have been waiting for this to happen."

"What?"

"Oh, come on," I scoffed. "The sexual tension between the two of you…since I first met you, it has always been there. It was like a fucking tsunami every time you were together."

"It was not."

" Attraction like that isn't manufactured, Katniss," I told her. "If it's there, you either give into it or let it make you feel miserable by denial and avoidance."

"I wish…someone had told me––"

I laughed. "But someone did tell you. If recall, a lot of people told you. Haymitch, Finnick and even Snow himself told you that you were in love with Peeta. You were the one that resisted it." She dropped her head in shame and guilt. "Hey, don't beat yourself up for being…pig-headed, stubborn, idiotic––"

"Please, Johanna don't hold back and tell me how you really feel."

"But you know better now, right?" I asked her. "Listen, you fucked up…really bad with Peeta. I know you know that. Personally, I don't think you deserve him." She gasped in hurt and shock. "But I'm not Peeta. He obviously forgiven you; loves you more than ever." Tears formed her eyes. "You in turn have to be worthy to deserve his forgiveness and devotion. I'm not saying he's faultless. I mean, he did try to kill you."

"Only because his mind was hijacked," she defended him.

"I'm glad to hear you say that," I admitted.

"I could never take back how I treated him in 13, Johanna. But I sweat to you that I will never hurt like that. I know I don't deserve him…but he still loves me and I'm not going to make him regret being with me. I love him too much."

"Yeah, how much…" I snickered. "Was it everything you hope and expected? I mean I've seen him, Katniss. Wow, you're one very lucky girl. I hope he knows how to ––"

"I can't talk about that," she smiled wide. "It's Peeta."

"Exactly," I confirmed. "I want to know if he...treated you well. Gave you mind blowing orgasm. I bet he kept you up all night."

"He didn't," she said. I looked at her in disappointment. Well, what the fuck. "But I did. All this morning." I laughed at her with pride and surprise. "Once we started we couldn't…stop….I wanted more."

"Well, fuck Katniss," I chuckled at her. "I didn't know you that had in you. I mean, you did have Peeta in you." She gasped in horror. "Damn that's hot." I fanned myself. "So…"

"So?"

"You know, now that you mentioned it," I started. "You were walking funny this morning."

"Johanna, I was not," she cried while she punched my arm. Katniss shifted in her seat wincing as she adjusted herself.

"You are too." I laughed at her. "That good, huh."

"Mind-blowing, earth shattering," she sighed. "Johanna, I didn't know what I was missing."

"Hey, I'm really happy for you."

"I love him…so much," she said. "I'm scared, Johanna. I don't know…Peeta was never violent or hurtful to anyone. But this…I know him enough to know that he won't stand for this. He…Gale hurt Peet and now Bron. How much more can he handle…he takes too much blame and responsibility onto himself. I don't want to lose him."

"You're not," I swore to her. "We are not going to lose him now."

"But…"

"But nothing," I interrupted her while I grabbed her trembling hands. They were cold. "I…we are going to do whatever it takes to take Hawthorne down. He will never touch a hair on Peeta's head or anyone else for that matter. And do you know why? Because we know Peeta, he will raise heaven and hell to stop Gale."

"That's what I'm afraid of," she admitted. "I don't want him to fill his life with such anger…I don't want it to consume him just as it consumed Gale. It's why I fell in love with him-his kindness, generosity and gentle nature. And since his hijacking, there's a side of him that scares me."

"He would never hurt you––"

"No, I know that," she said in exasperation. "I mean…I know what it's like to live in anger, bitterness…to be jaded with the world, with people. I don't want that for him."

"I understand, but Katniss…" I exclaimed. "That part of us…the ugly side…is only a natural reaction to our fear, anger and helplessness. Peeta is a not a saint. He gets angry, frustrated like everyone else. If he needs to vent and get angry, he needs to get angry and shout or yell. That kind of anger will only eat you alive if you keep it to yourself. You know that." She nodded her head.

"I know that, Johanna," she said. "But this…this thing with Gale. He hurt him; tortured him while Eva assaulted him. He's the strongest person I have ever known to have survived with everything he's been through. But he has an Achilles heel." I was impressed with Katniss' knowledge of Greek mythology, a subject of dark history before Panem that we learned in school. We all had one. Snow knew our faults or our weakness. He used it against us to do whatever he wanted from us. For Peeta and Katniss, it was each other.

"You have one too. It's the same as Peeta's." I said more to myself.

"He'll die before he'll let anyone get hurt because of him," she mumbled. "That's what scares me. I can't lose him now." I understood her fear because it's what I feared as well.

"Are you two okay?" Haymitch appeared before us.

"So what did Effie find out?" I asked though I already knew my suspicions were about to be confirmed.

"It's official," he started. "The crash was caused by a foreign projectile that hit the crafts propellers." He looked at Katniss. "It was a high yield projectile that could only be delivered by…a cross bow." Haymitch sighed then continued. "A specialized projectile that was designed to down hovercrafts." He winced at the admittance.

"So it was Gale," I seethed in anger.

"We can't prove that is was him." Haymitch said. "You have enemies, Johanna." He reminded me. As a former Victor and survivor from the Capitol. The stigma of my association with Peeta stuck with me. He betrayed Katniss for the propos he done during rebellion while others believed he betrayed her because of me. It was a ludicrous believing Peeta betrayed Katniss for me. We were not welcomed when we were rescued.

"We all do…even Katniss." A majority of the Capitol hated Katniss for ruining the status quo and leading the rebellion against them.

"You know it was him," I snorted.

"Who else can it be?" Katniss added. "He meant to kill Johanna."

"Everyone assumed it was Johanna since it's her designated craft," he concluded.

"Bron's co-pilot didn't survive. Everyone assumed that the co-pilot was you, Johanna. She was the same build and height as you."

"No freaking way," I gasped in surprise. "So everyone thinks I'm dead?"

"No, somehow the media got information and leaked that it wasn't you," Haymitch explained. "We could have used your death as an advantage but…"

"I want him dead," I said with finality and steel. It was my main purpose and objective now. "He's not going to stop until he…kills Peeta."

"He blames Peeta for taking everything away from him," Katniss sighed. "Even though in truth, he did it all to himself."

"Well, he didn't have the support like we did," Haymitch sounded with tinge understanding.

"He has his family," Katniss gritted through her teeth. I sensed anger simmering inside her. "He didn't lose anyone because of the war. He still has his mother, his brothers and sister. He even fucking got a new job…a high ranking job. A reward for his bravery and deeds."

"He wanted you as his reward," Kara stepped into the room. We all turned our heads as she walked into the room. "Everything else, his status, job and family weren't enough. You were the coveted prize in his mind. The trophy he needed to fulfill his dreams and fantasies."

Katniss scoffed in disgust. "I'm not a prize to be won."

"He doesn't see it that way, Kara continued. "And Peeta was his obstacle. You were his best friend, comrade and family before him. Peeta took everything, the only thing he valued and loved most. You."

"It didn't 'help that I led him on," Katniss confessed. "Chose him over and over even though I didn't feel the same way I did for Peeta. I used Gale to hide my attraction to Peeta."

"You really need to stop blaming yourself for Gale's behavior," Kara appealed to her. "He was screwed up in the head to begin with. And it all probably started with the death of his father. Just like you reacted with the death of yours." Peeta had explained to me Katniss aversion to love…falling in love. She didn't want it…to become just like her mother. His death screwed her up too.

"Thanks for the psycho analysis, Kara," I smirked at her. "It's not something we weren't aware of."

"Well, it also didn't' help with his delusions and obsession that he's a drug addict and alcoholic," she surmised. "It's what he used to cope with his PSTD. Instead of seeking profession help, he sought addictive substances to comfort him. You're lucky that you have each other."

"Have you any news with Bron's condition," Haymitch asked.

"The fact that he survived the crash was a miracle in itself," she started. "The swelling on his brain will diminish in a few days. No serious brain damage as far as we can tell. We'll know once he wakes up from his coma."

"But he will wake up?" Haymitch asked.

"The mind is a very complex organ," she explained. "He'll wake up once it recovers on it's own. There isn't much we can do since he doesn't need surgery to alleviate the swelling."

"So all we can do is wait?" he asked. "Other than that, he's not in any danger?"

"He'll be fine as long as we observe his vitals and make sure he comfortable." We sighed in relief. "Where's Delly?"

"With Peeta in his old room," Haymitch answered.

"No they are not. I came through from that direction," Kara said.

"What?" Katniss yelled in fear.

"His door was open so I looked inside," she explained. "No one is in there."

"Oh, fuck," I screamed as I ran out the door following Katniss at her heels._ 'Please not again, not again,' _my mind screamed as Haymitch, Kara, Katniss and I ran towards his old room. My heart pounded hard against my chest. It was hard to breath through my mouth. Images of Peeta and Delly bleeding or dying flashed in my head. I couldn't lose any more people especially those two. Those two who I had lived for, I couldn't survive without their love and friendship. Including Annie, they were all I had left in the world to love. They made me feel things I haven't felt for a long time since Finnick. Love is weird and I loved them for it.

Katniss entered the room first. "Damnit, where are they?" she screamed. "Oh my god, where are they, Johanna?" Tears of anger and fears cascaded down her cheeks. "I knew I shouldn't have left him go…out of my sight."

"Katniss, calm down," Kara spoke to her.

"Calm down," she shrieked. "How the hell am I supposed to calm down? Peeta and Delly are missing?"

"Oh, fuck," Haymitch cursed. He rubbed a tired hand through his hair. At this rate, he's bound to lose more hair if he kept pulling at the strands he had left.

"Don't yell at Kara," I said to Katniss. She was clutching her chest as if her heart was about to explode. I surely thought mine was.

"Everyone calm down," Kara continue. She looked around the room for a second. "Listen, they're probably in the hospital somewhere. You know Peeta wouldn't leave without letting you guys know where he'd go."

"Where could they have gone?" Haymitch asked. "There is no way they could have gone anywhere without letting us know. They know better than that."

"I'll check the cafeteria," Kara suggested. She walked out the room.

Then an idea struck me. "I think I know where they are. Come on, follow me," I said as I walked…ran out the room.

I couldn't wait for the elevator so I ran up several flights of stairs with Haymitch and Katniss close behind me. My legs ached and burned from the exertion. The door for the roof was left ajar. I burst through the exit scanning my eyes.

"What the fuck, Peeta," I screamed as I found them. Peeta held Delly in his arms while she rested her head on his shoulder. They parted from their embrace when they saw us.

"Peeta," Katniss roared. She ran past me fast grabbing him around the waist when she reached him. "Don't ever fucking do that again." She cried, screamed and kissed him. "I thought something bad happened to you. I thought…he…Gale…"

"Katniss?" Delly said her name.

"You fucking scared us when we didn't find both of you in your room," I yelled at them. I hugged Delly.

"Um…we left you a note," Peeta said calm and surprised by my outburst. Delly nodded her head. She flinched with a tinge of guilt on her face.

"What note?" Katniss asked. Her arms were wrapped around his waist, clutching him tight. I noticed her knuckles were white from her tight grasp.

"You didn't' see a very large piece of paper I taped on my mural," he clarified. "It's so huge, I don't understand how all of you could have missed it."

"Oh," I said. My heart calmed and eased from fear.

"Kara told us you both weren't in there," Haymitch said. "So I guessed, we thought the worst and…panicked. A little bit."

"A little bit?" Delly chortled.

"We…didn't mean to scare you," Peeta sighed. "I was getting anxious in the room and needed air. I was the one to suggest coming up here."

"What is it with your fascinations with rooftops?" Haymitch prattled. "I swear you took 10 years out of my life. I fucking ran up the stairs."

"You needed it. The exercise didn't kill you," Delly snorted. Besides me Katniss had a shade of pink on her cheeks. Rooftops. Hmm…I wondered at her reaction at the mere mention of rooftops. Must have some significance to have her react that way.

"I'm just glad you're okay," Katniss said in relief. "That you're both okay."

"We're sorry that we scared you," Delly relented. Her eyes were puffy and red from crying.

"Listen, from now on," Haymitch clarified. "From now on, you are never to leave without telling anyone where you're going. You are to never remove you necklaces. Do not go anywhere by yourself. We stick together in company of two and I don't care if it's the bathroom in a public area."

"I need someone to accompany me to the restroom?" Peeta snickered. "What about when I need to take a shower or bath? That's unrealistic. I can't have someone with me wherever I go."

"Katniss won't mind following you around, believe me," I snorted. "Especially if you're taking a shower."

"Stop fooling around, I mean it," Haymitch raised his voice. "I'm serious."

"What's going on?" Peeta asked.

"Can we go downstairs?" he asked. "I don't want to have this conversation out here in the open." I trailed behind Delly as we all headed downstairs. Katniss held onto Peeta's hand. They were safe from harm; it was more than I could ask for because our lives from this moment was about to change.

* * *

**Peeta POV ––**

A gust of cool wind sliced through my jacket. I shivered as it bounced on my skin. Before me the city lights twinkled underneath the dark sky. The view of the city below was breathtaking. However, I knew its attraction was just a disguise to the real horror and life its' residents lived under. No amount of luxury and excess of wealth could hide its' history of the death of thousands of children in the Hunger Games. The Capitol was beautiful but marred with unseen blood of innocents murdered for their entertainment. Even without the games, I couldn't rest and feel safe not after what I had experienced its' 'hospitality.'

Hours later, I found myself on the rooftop of the hotel. Katniss held onto my waist with a firm grip. I kissed the top of side of her head. The news of Bron's crash shook her; it shook all of us. No one mentioned or uttered a word for who was responsible for the incident. We just knew. Gale's obsession with me progressed from passively stalking me to overt aggression by beating up Peet nearly killing him to attempting to kill Johanna. They were targeted in Gale's line of sight to get to me.

I recalled the emotions I felt once I saw Bron lying in bed with machines connected to his body. Disbelief, sorrow, pain, anger and frustration blended together generating a pain in my chest. It overwhelmed me. I never thought that I would ever hate anyone the way I hated President Snow. My hatred for him equaled with Gale. He would never stop hurting the people I love, going after everyone I loved and held dear in my heart. He was no better than Snow.

This torture, cat and mouse game he was playing had to end. I had to end it. He would never stop until one of us was…dead.

"I feel so bad for Delly," Katniss disrupted my morbid thoughts as she mumbled into my shirt, her head settled on my chest. She felt warm and comforting while the wind blew around us. "I keep seeing Bron, bruised and broken in my head. Watching Delly with him, holding her stomach feeling her baby. It was heartbreaking."

"He survived and is alive, Katniss," I assured her. "That is all that matters."

"It made me think of the time…when we found you in the train after…" She hid her face in my jacket. "I thought I finally lost you, forever…and I never got the chance to tell you how much you meant to me…I wasted so much time––"

"Shh, Katniss, that's all in the past," I reminded her. "He's doing this on purpose, trying to find our weakness…making us feel scared and hopeless. We're not. He's alone and we're together. That what's eating him alive. You love me, not him and it's…driven him mad from jealousy."

"I hate him so much, Peeta," she seethed with anger. "What Gale and Eva did to you…I could never forgive him. I don't understand what happened to him."

"The war changed him," I explained.

"It changed everyone," she said with bitterness. "You lost more than anyone, your leg, your family…your mind. It didn't changed you like it changed…him." I couldn't find the words to argue with her. My mind was muddled with anger and sadness. I knew what must be done and it had to be soon.

"I love you, Katniss," I said. "Whatever happens, I want you to remember that." My lips lingered on her head.

"I love you too, Peeta," she returned tightening her arms around my waist. "I'm so happy that Delly has Bron back alive and well."

"They have a lot to make up for, especially Bron," I mentioned. "I knew she would take him back eventually." I recalled our conversation at the rooftop of the hospital. It was the same rooftop that Johanna and I escaped to whenever the walls from my room caved in on me. It was my favorite spot in the hospital.

* * *

**_FLASHBACK –– Hospital rooftop, earlier that morning_**

_Delly's body shook as she cried in my arms. "Bron's going to be okay," I comforted her. _

"_I'm so confused, Peeta," she admitted to me. "When Haymitch said he was in an accident. I thought to myself how I wished I told him that I loved him. Even though I'm still so mad at him. He's the father of my baby."_

"_You have every right to be mad at him."_

"_What am I going to do?" She grabbed my waist. "I don't know what happened. We were so happy and then to find out that he…with Gale. I can't…I don't know if I could forgive him. What he did to me was wrong but why he did it? It makes me so angry with him…for wanting to get back at me by hurting you with Gale of all people." I felt her confusion and sorrow because I liked Bron. He was perfect for her. They were perfect for each other. "How can I let him back into my life knowing his betrayal led to your abduction."_

"_It's not my heart he broke or betrayed," I replied. "It's up to you to decide how he fits in your life…you and your baby." She continued to cry while I held her._

"_How did you…how did your reconcile with your decision to forgive Katniss," she asked me. "After learning what she did on 13 and before the Quarter Quell, how could you forgive her?" _

"_It wasn't easy Delly, I can assure you," I said. The hurt I felt from Katniss' disregard of my feelings pained me. It was worse than the pain I felt from my own mothers' resentment towards me. "She hurt me a lot, ignoring the connection we had. She was my weakness. It's what they…the Capitol used to finally break me."_

"_I don't understand…how…how you wanted someone who hurt you over and over," she continued. _

"_I didn't at first," I started to explain. "It wasn't quick or easy decision. I fought against forgiving her. It wasn't easy to forgive someone especially if you love them, like the way I loved her. Katniss…she didn't have a healthy experience with love…after losing her father, she lost her mother too. That kind of loss changes you especially at a young age."_

"_Well, you mother was a…bitch, Peeta," she snorted. "You still ended up the sweetest and kind person I have ever known. I know you still loved your mother despite the fact she hurt you, not just physically but emotionally as well."_

_I forgave my mother because I sympathized her anger at my father. She was second in his heart. I knew whom he loved first and foremost. It was the same family curse that had me falling for the daughter of my father's first love." It was ironic that I did fall for Katniss. I thought that I was fated to live the same miserable life as my father. But I was lucky. It took time and patience for me to finally get what I wanted all my life. Katniss. But this time, she loved me back and I didn't lose her to another coal miner._

"_Bron hurt you too, Delly," I reminded her. "He was initially attracted to you. It was his ego that you bruised that had him spying for Gale in order to hurt you. But I really do believe that he fell in love with you. How could he not? And now you're having a baby that was created by the love you shared with each other. You're love for each other was real."_

"_Then, he should have said something in the beginning," she spat out her anger. "It cowardly of him to change his mind and let Gale get away with hurting you. We could have prevented so much-"_

"_Then which offense was worse, Delly," I inquired. "I fell for a girl who deliberately hurt me…pretended to care for me, used me and abandoned me when I needed her the most. Or, falling in love with a guy who you were attracted to but you were afraid to fall for him, but never thought he'd ended up falling in love with you anyway because he really did love you." I paused. "He made one big, huge mistake. Katniss made several over and over."_

"Then the question is…how could you forgive her?" she repeated.

"_Taking the first step to forgiving her wasn't easy, Delly," I confessed. "I love her. She wasn't easy to love, but something about her…I couldn't tell you what kept me falling for someone who resisted her feelings for me. And trying to forget…which wasn't easy to do either. Don't think that I can forgive and forget…my mind flashed moments of her anger, her resentment and her treatment of me. But…"_

"_But?"_

"_Life is short, Delly," I stated. "Tomorrow, I could be dead by an accident, any circumstance out of my control. I could…die from my treatment. If Bron died today, what would you have regretted?" Delly was silent for a moment. "I want you to really think, Delly. Could you live your life letting Bron walk away from you? Raising your child on your own. Do believe that he loves you and is sorry for keeping a secret from him? Is it worth holding on to your anger…is he not worth fighting for?"_

"_Could I trust him again?" she said more likely to herself._

"_Because as I see it, Gale won," I added. "He never counted for Bron to fall in love with you. He wanted to hurt me through you…the only other person in my life that never hurt intentionally. He succeeded. Bron hurt you which hurt me."_

"_You're too good for this world, too good for someone like Katniss," she said. "You have a bigger heart for forgiving her."_

"_Like I said, it wasn't easy but…she loves me now," I choked. "All the broken pieces of me. She's sorry for treating me cruelly and blatantly. She's all I ever wanted. Loving someone also means forgiving them for the things they do and say out of hurt or anger. If you live in anger all the time, you'll miss the good things in life."_

"_I still love Bron," she simpered. "I don't' doubt his feelings for me but I feel like our whole relationship was founded on a lie. We were going to get married and now I'm having his baby. What am I going to tell my child…how do I explain to him or her what our relationship was based on? I dated him because I was attracted to him and he courted me to…hurt me…to get back at me for rejecting him. It was wrong how we started our relationship."_

"_And he's sorry," I added. "I truly do believe he sorry, Delly. How could he or anyone not love you? You're sweet, kind and wonderful. Any guy would be lucky to be loved by you. You deserved to be loved wholeheartedly, with the same passion and devotion you give back in return. And, I see that in Bron."_

_She sobbed in my arms. "See, I can see why Katniss loves you. You're too good for anyone."_

"_I'm not––"_

"_Shut up, I'm hormonal and I'm right," she argued back. "Don't you fucking argue with me." 'Sheesh, are all pregnant women this sensitive and…' I sighed. "Sorry, sometimes, I think my baby takes over my mind and I can't think straight."_

"_Anyway, I need you to consider this," I interrupted her. "If you weren't pregnant right now. What would you do? Bron is really a great guy who made a really, really stupid mistake. I really believe he genuinely loves and adores you."_

"_And I love him too." _

"_What do you want?" I said. "I think, for the sake of your mind and heart. I suggest that you start over."_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_When he wakes up," I explained. "You and he should start over. This is your second chance to do things right…to start at the beginning."_

"_Peeta, I'm pregnant with his baby," she said in exasperation._

"_So it's a little backwards," I shrugged my shoulders. "I just think that you're wasting time you could have with him. You should start over and learn to trust him again. Make him earn your trust and love back." I sighed. "It's just doesn't make any sense for you and him not to be together. It's obvious to me that you two belong together." I looked at Delly who had a strange look in her eyes. Before she could answer me Johanna's voice startled us. I turned my head to see the love of my life run towards me. Her face was pinched with fear and relief. She was the most beautiful thing in the world._

"_What the fuck, Peeta!" Johanna's voice echoed in the air._

**_End of Flashback ––_**

* * *

"It's getting colder," I said as I ran a hand up and down Katniss' back. "You want to back downstairs where it's warmer?" She shook her head.

"A few more minutes, Peeta," she responded. I couldn't blame for not wanting to go back downstairs. Up here on the rooftop, it was she and I, together in our peaceful and happy bubble. Like before and always, we protected each other. Once downstairs, it was reality where hurt and pain existed, insinuating into our lives. Leaving the rooftop meant facing Gale. Haymitch and Johanna were downstairs. Delly wouldn't leave Bron's side so Effie accompanied with Rory brought dinner.

"Thank you, Peeta."

"What are you thanking me for, Katniss?" I asked. My arms were around her waist with forehead touching. Our lips a breath away.

She pulled back looking straight into my eyes. "For giving me this chance. For loving me even though I know I don't deserve it." She pushed a lock of hair on my forehead away from eyes. "After seeing Delly with Bron, I realized how lucky we are. How lucky I am to have you in my life. I couldn't love anyone the way I love you."

I kissed her hard grinding my hips into hers causing her to moan in my mouth. "Why don't you show me how lucky I am." I grabbed with both hands her perfectly muscled ass cheeks.

"Didn't I do that this morning?" Kiss. "In the shower," she groaned. My mind flashed back to the shower we shared together. With hands anchored on the tiles, legs apart and her back towards me, I held onto her breasts, pinching the pert nipples as I thrust inside her. Her moans echoed in the stall while I watched my cock disappeared inside her. My fake waterproof leg withstood the time and strength I needed to take once again as I pounded into her with one leg wrapped around my hips and her back against the wall. I longed to feel her once again. Once we started I couldn't stop and enjoyed watching her shout my name into the air or moaned into my lips. I vowed to make her cum twice before satisfying my need and release.

"It's too early to go to bed," she answered back, kissing with same intensity while our tongues fought for domination. "Aren't you expecting…oh shit…what's her….oh god…name soon?" I had forgotten that Mara Ellory, my contractor was coming over after dinner to discuss the final details of my bakery. I still have yet to name it. It was obvious I should rename it "Mellark Bakery" but without my family, my father beside me, it felt empty and meaningless without them. So I held off and avoided seeing Beatrice. However, I did want to see the progress she made while I was away at the Capitol.

"Oh, my poor eyes," Haymitch smothered a cough. "Can you two stop doing that in front of me." Katniss and I broke apart, panting hard and fast.

"You're the one interrupting us, Haymitch," Katniss scowled at him. "It was your idea for us to go up here."

"Well, it was a good idea at the time." He threw his hands up in the air. "I couldn't stand the googly eyes you were giving each other throughout dinner." Katniss giggled. "Anyway, Beatrice is here. She's waiting downstairs waiting for you."

"She's early," I commented.

"She had her reasons," Haymitch returned winking at Katniss.

Downstairs in the dining room, Katniss kept or rather tightened her grip on my hand. She so closed to me I swore she was tempted to sit on my lap. She projected her famous scowl at the group of women across us. It seemed that Beatrice, Mara's eldest daughter had accompanied her for my appointment. And, to complicate matters Mara also brought her other daughters Wren and Saffron to meet us, me.

"I hope you don't mind I brought my daughters with me," Mara smiled as she lay out the blueprints to my bakery. "They've been waiting to meet the both of you and since you were here in the Capitol. Both Saffron and Wren begged me to meet you. You both are their favorite Victors." I flinched at her statement. Katniss wasn't pleased by the look on her face. Johanna struggled to hide her smile. Haymitch disappeared once the screaming and fan adoration started when Mara introduced her daughters to me.

"You're so much better looking in person, Peeta," Wren flirted with me. "Pictures do you no justice. You're hair is a lot blonder and you're eyes area really blue." _'Really blue, what the hell does that mean.'_ My mind wondered. "Like a cornflowers." She leaned over to look deep in my eyes. Katniss pulled me back.

"I told you he's gorgeous in person," Beatrice added. Katniss' face was pinched with annoyance.

"You're a lot shorter than I expected," Saffron commented. Katniss gasped. "But really handsome in person, I mean. And really nice."

"He's perfect the way he is," Katniss expressed, her tone was cool and calm, but also possessive.

"Yes, he is," Beatrice said with a dreamy look in her eyes. I was flattered with the attention but it was putting Katniss on edge.

"So, Mara," I started. "I can read the blueprints well enough, but did you take any pictures of the construction?"

"Oh, yeah hold on a second," Mara said as she pulled out a data pad and scrolled down a menu of files. "Here, this is the outside, the entrance to the bakery." Johanna took control of design and the look for the bakery. My only stipulations were that I wanted 3 industry size ovens, several shelves for the ingredients, cooling racks and large industry tables for me to work on. Two huge refrigerators would complete my list of demands. As for the reception and display area. I left that all completely in Johanna's capable hands. My only other ideas were windows. I wanted a lot of windows for ventilation and natural light to brighten the rooms.

"Johanna, the designs and rooms are amazing," I complimented her. She had designed a workplace and area that was more than I expected.

"Are you sure you only wanted a small apartment in the second floor?" she asked me.

"Johanna, the bakery is where I will work," I explained. "As much as I love to bake, I don't want to live where I work. I want to come home to a place separate from the bakery. I only need a small apartment area incase I had to work overnight."

The bakery was a second home away from home. But it was not all I wanted to do for the rest of my life. Katniss knew that. She squeezed my hand in understanding. Secretly my hearts' desire was that I wanted to come to home to Katniss. In our own house away from town and the bakery.

"Mara, did you finalize my other plans?" Johanna inquired.

"Oh yes, Johanna. Do you want to show them to Peeta bow?" Mara asked. "I thought you wanted to keep it a secret."

"No, if you're done I want to tell Peeta now," Johanna exclaimed.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"I really appreciate that you allowed me to have complete control with the construction and plans for your bakery," Johanna stated. "You don't know how much it means to me for you to have such faith and trust in me. So I decided with a little input with Delly to surprise you with this."

On the digital pad was a medium size room with lots of windows and high ceiling walls. "This is your new art studio." I gasped in surprise. Johanna and Mara had big smiles on their faces. "Besides your love for baking I knew that you loved to paint and draw so I…Mara and I reconfigured the reception to display your work. And above that area is the studio."

I'm shocked and overwhelmed of their gift for me. "I knew that you didn't want to live above the bakery so we maximized the area for a living space and added your art studio. I hope you don't mind." I stood up so fast my chair behind me toppled as I walked around the table to hug Johanna.

"Thank you, Johanna," I said. "You thought of everything. It didn't cross my mind to use the extra space for a studio. It's brilliant. You're brilliant." I hugged her again. Mara, Beatrice and Wren sighed. Katniss had a huge smile on her face. We were still looking at the pictures and designs to the bakery long after Mara and her daughters left when Haymitch, Effie and Delly, to our surprise returned home.

"Well, what's going on in here," Delly asked as she, Effie and Haymitch appeared in the room.

"Johanna was just showing me the addition…the extra space she and Mara designed for the bakery," I answered. "Come take a look." All of them proceeded to look at the pad. Johanna loaded the imaged onto her data pad.

"I finally showed Peeta my surprise for when he returned back to 12 after his treatments," Johanna explained.

"You must be so excited, Peeta?" Delly said. I smiled in response since words failed me. I was getting everything I ever wanted, the bakery and Katniss by my side. I had the two loves of my life. Katniss and my love of art. It was too overwhelming to express the joy and happiness I felt. I knew that I had a lot to be thankful for but the threat of Gale in my life loomed over me. I was still in danger and so was everyone around me.

"How's Bron, Delly?" Katniss inquired.

"He's progressing slowly but well enough. He woke up this evening," she blurted out with relief in her voice.

"Oh, that's great, Delly," Johanna commented.

"Kara said he could go home in a couple of weeks," Delly added. "His family offered to have him recover at their home." She looked sad and wistful. "They didn't know we were engaged and had broken up so they offered me to stay with them."

"What are you going to do?" I asked her.

"I'm not making any decisions right now," she returned. "I…we have a lot to settle and I'm not pressing the issue right now. It's too soon to decide anything––"

"Delly," I started.

"I'm going…I'm not sure what I'm doing but we decided to…start over," she said.

"Start over?" Katniss repeated. "And that means what?"

"We're going to take one day at a time," Delly countered. "I'm not rushing into anything. I have a baby to take off and Bron and I are going to take things slowly. He's not crazy about the idea but…once he's recovered and strong enough…we're going back to dating, I guess. He has to earn my trust again."

"That comes as no surprise to me, Delly," Johanna snickered. "I knew you were going to take him back. You loved too him much to let him go." Delly sighed and held her tears at bay.

"Well, speaking of surprises," Haymitch said while he brushed his finger through his hair. "I have an announcement to make." He extended his hand to Effie. "We have an announcement to make."

My eyes grew wide with surprise and anticipation. Was this I what I had been suspecting for some time now? The looks and silent communication Haymitch and Effie had between them since reconnecting after the war. He cleared his throat and looked at Effie. She nodded her head as her cheeks turned pink. "Effie and I…what I'm trying to say…is that…she and I are…"

"Oh, the hell hurry up and just say it," Johanna nearly all but shouted at them.

"I asked Effie…I asked her to marry me…and she said yes," Haymitch said with a big smile on his face while Effie smiled along side him. For the second time that day, Johanna caught Delly in her arms as she fainted.

Wow, who would have thought that my day would end like this; my relationship with Katniss moved to the next level, Bron's near death experienced and his reconciliation with Delly, the dream of my bakery and life in Katniss was just within my reach, and finally Haymitch and Effie engagement, all these events that led to this moment. It is with certainty I knew that it was time to meet Gale head on. No more waiting for his next move, no more feeling helpless. I had too much in my life to protect and people that I loved most in the world. I drew strength from the love and support my new family has given me. I just hope I survived my treatments in order to reap the benefits and happiness I fought for.

* * *

_**AN: Thank you for reading this chapter. I hope that you enjoyed it as well. Have a great weekend.**_


	49. Chapter 49 - Love and War

Chapter 49 – Love and War

_AN: I can never express in words how grateful I am for the reviews, alerts and favs I received for this story. So simply, my warmest thanks to Lillian, thefarmersdaughter, Matainer, LACR, everlasting1285 and Tea4e. Your comments and reviews are greatly appreciated especially for taking the time to write them. Thank you. Same disclaimer and alert for foul language. Hope you enjoy. If by chance you find any mistakes, please forgive me. I'm going through caffeine withdrawal and lack of sleep, but I do appreciate reading my story just the same. Mistakes and all. lol_

* * *

**Haymitch POV ––**

"Damnit, Haymitch hold still," Katniss said in frustration. Her fingers dug into my neck as she adjusted the tie on my shirt. "I just don't understand why I'm doing this. I've never tied a bow tie before."

"How difficult can it be to put on a clip-on bowtie," I asked then sighed. "Where is my best man anyway? I asked for him and you show up"

"He's with Effie. He wanted to see her before the ceremony." Katniss looked at the lopsided tie around his neck. "So you get me to help you." I tugged at my noose around my neck. _'How did I get myself roped into this?'_ " Stop fidgeting, you're getting married not executed. If you don't want to wear that then why wear it?"

"Because Effie told me to wear it?" I responded as if that was an obvious answer. I played with the tie a few more minutes straightening it the best I could. The suit Effie chose for me was snug. I felt constricted. I'll admit it was well tailored and fit perfectly. _'How did Effie know my size?' _my mind wandered.

'It's your wedding too. If it's uncomfortable why wear it?" she said in exasperation. I felt her impatience that equaled my own. Getting married was something I never thought would ever happen to me and especially to Effie. I never wanted to get married let alone fall in love. _'Dear, God I sound just like Katniss,'_ my mind groaned.

"Hello, do you remember who my bride to be is? Effie will kill me if I don't wear that blasted thing," I sighed. The red bowtie was not my idea. If I had my way, I would have been married in a simple pair of dark slacks and white shirt. But no, my bride-to-be was adamant of having her wedding. '_Her wedding, who was I?'_ Just the groom who had no word or input for his only wedding ceremony. Now, I'm stuck looking like a penguin and choking from the leash that Effie insisted, no demanded that I wear. Effie got me good for she knew I wouldn't fight for the arrangements or details for the ceremony. I remembered her disbelief and shock when I had proposed to her again out of the blue. I chuckled and winced at the memory.

* * *

**_Flashback –– the night before Peeta's second session_**

"_So are you going to scowl at me? I swear Katniss is rubbing off on you," Effie said with aloofness and calm as she walked into the dining room. My mouth hung open when I turned to look at her. She wore a light blue dress suit that clung to every curve of her petite form. Mind you, I've seen Effie in every type of clothing. They were usually garish, gaudy, bright and over the top gowns with the excessive feathers, glitter and accessories. Today, her hair was pulled back into a ponytail displaying her 'barely there' makeup of eyeliner, rouge, mascara and lipstick. She had the cutest ears. 'Did I just say that?' Nevermind. She was gorgeous and a sight to behold. A vision. My heart stopped literally. Had my years of intoxication blinded me of what had been in front of me? My groin stirred; something that hasn't happened in years, decades for that matter. Alcohol had been my only companion to ease my guilt and nightmares let alone affect my nonexistent libido. I kept everyone at arm distances especially Effie._

"_Close your mouth, Abernathy. You might catch flies," she snickered as she waved her hand in a nonchalant manner. I felt dismissed from a make believe royal court. She often made feel like a peasant in her presence. Whatever!_

"_You look…"_

"_Yes, I look what?" she inquired while she sat across me; too far across me. I could smell the sweet intoxicating fragrance of her perfume. She was my siren that sang to me like a sailor out to sea. Siren Effie Trinket was trying to kill me with her allure and seductive charm. As Peeta once said, "I was a goner."_

"_Beautiful."_

"_Hmm…I see you're still dipping into the Winter Solstice," she said while she shook her head in disappointment._

"_Give me a break, Trinket," I retorted. "I hadn't a single drop of that stuff in months." This was our thing. We flirted and harangued each other for years fighting our attraction. We knew each other's weakness, strengths and demons. Mine was alcohol; hers was her fear on intimacy on a personal level. She was just like Katniss in that aspect. But I couldn't blame her. She had many lovers just as I, but we never tied ourselves in any meaningful relationship. Why involved yourself with a selfish, self-indulgent drunk? We spent years of loneliness, in misery and longing for each other. Always revolving around in each other's presence but never touching. We were each other's own blessing and curse. I love that damn peacock of a woman. _

_She aggravated, disappointed and inspired me. Her Capitol accents grated me, but soothed me in my moments of despair. Her atrocious appearance and attire was a mockery to the inner and outer beauty she possessed. Effie Trinket's heart was encased in steel, but I've been graced by it when I experienced her loving nature for mere seconds or moments when she uncaged her heart._

_I saw a lot of us with Peeta and Katniss. Effie and I met in different circumstances but bonded because of the Hunger Games. Watching Peeta and Katniss' blossoming relationship made me wish I changed for her sooner. I would have been with her if I had the courage to enter my sobriety not just for them but mostly for me…and for Effie. Was it too late for us?_

"_I know you're still upset with me," I confessed._

"_Well, you could have waited to scream at me and not in front of them. You humiliated me," Effie said. "You're an idiot if you ever thought that I would endanger them in anyway. I love them just as much. I would never forgive myself had anything happened to them."_

_I gulped in remorse and regret. "I'm sorry Effie," I relented. "I love those two kids like they're my own." She sniffled and nodded her head. It was done and over with, we moved on._

_After my session with Peeta, I couldn't take it anymore. The regrets, the loneliness and years of self-punishment and guilt tore at me. I confronted Effie that night. We had just left Peeta and Katniss' room after the first time we heard screams coming from their room. Katniss was suffering from a nightmare. He held her in his arms even though all day he was emotionally distant from her. I found Effie in the kitchen making a cup of tea._

"_I couldn't sleep," she explained as she added water to a kettle and placed it on the stove. We sat together for several minutes in silence. "Poor kids, I wished there was something I can do for them." I stared at her. She was free from makeup; her hair cascaded down her shoulders. She wore a dark pink silk, calf length dressing gown. She was beautiful. "What's wrong, Haymitch? Why are you staring at me like that?"_

"_I asked you a question years ago and you never answered me," I said._

_She looked stunned for a moment then collected herself. "You'll have to be more specific," Effie answered back. "You asked me many questions I've never answered." I knew she knew about 'the question' I asked. _

"_I know I was drunk, Effie. But not drunk enough to remember that night," I retorted._

"_You're drunk most nights, Haymitch. So forgive me for not answering your 'request,' she sneered at me. "It was not a question I took seriously in your condition. Why would anyone take your 'romantic proposal' so seriously? Besides, that was years ago. I don't even think about it." That comment stung. I realized I hurt her more than I anticipated. In my attempt to be romantic and sincere for my commitment to her, she had taken my gesture as cavalier and insensitive to her feelings. I fucked up._

"_I'm sorry. It was stupid of me to ask under those circumstances," I admitted. "I only meant to take one drink, you know. To give me courage."_

"_Doesn't matter, it's all in the past," she returned. I detected her melancholy. I cleared my throat. "I knew you weren't serious and even if you were, I would never have answered you. You know how I felt about…it."_

_Effie would have never committed herself to me while I drank my life away. She had too many experiences of drunken nights with her relatives and ex's. Days and nights when she cleaned up after people who indulged in alcohol. She stayed in a relationship with an abusive and manipulative drunk. That kind of toxic relationship left her weary and distrustful. I wasn't any better than her last lover._

"_Well, I'm asking, Effie with clear mind and body," I said. "I haven't had a drink or gotten drunk for months now."_

"_You did it for Peeta and Katniss," she said. _

"_Yes, at first, it was for Peeta and…Katniss," I confessed. "But I also did it for me." She sighed in disbelief. "I know that you don't believe me but, I want you to know that I'm going to stay sober. I'm doing it for me."_

"_I know you're trying but after years of indulging yourself…but what happens when Peeta's situation is over," she asked me. "The demons and nightmares you have just didn't miraculously go away. You still have them…we still have them."_

"_Effie, you know that what we all experienced will never go away," I responded. "I drank because I felt guilty and sorry for myself, but…"_

"_But?"_

"_I realized that even with everything I went through nothing could have been worse than what Peeta went through," I confessed. At the early age of fourteen, I was Finnick O'Dair, the golden boy of District 12. I was sold and…I'd never forget those years of abuse and trauma. Yes, those years were horrifying but it was nothing compared to what Peeta endured. He endured years of longing for a girl from a distance and to have a bitch for a mother. Then, to have the dream girl use him over and over and deny him her affections because she was screwed up herself. She went from an angel to a cold and calculating female who used him in his eyes. Next, to be kidnapped, tortured, abused and reprogrammed to kill the only girl he ever loved. Finally, to be tortured, abused by a crazy stalker in cahoots with dream girl's just-as-crazy best friend. And to have survived all that and still be as loving and sweet as ever. He was a miracle._

_If anyone I expected to become a drunk, it was Peeta. But Peeta Mellark fought against all the odds against him. He fought for his mind and his heart. Who was the best example of a hero and survivor? He put me to shame?_

"_That young man is my hero," I admitted._

"_I thought that was Katniss," she said her brows lifted in surprise._

"_I love Katniss," I said. "She's a brave young woman. They're both heroes in my eyes." But Peeta, he's the one I aspire to become a better persona, a better man for Effie. And he's still fighting for his love for Katniss and his new family. If he can do that, why couldn't I? 'I had no more games and fears to hide behind. I had no excuses,' my mind whispered in my ear. _

"_I love you Effie Jasmine Trinket," I said loud and clear. "With a clear mind, I'm asking you again. Will you honor me by taking my hand and accepting this." I presented to her a necklace of white silver with a diamond teardrop. "As a token of my devotion and love for you. Will you…please accept me as your husband? And make me the happiest man alive?" She was speechless. Her mouth opened and closed several times while she stared at the necklace. I was aware of Capitol rites and tradition. If anything, Effie was a traditionalist. She had tears in her eyes. Her hands trembled. She reached over to touch the necklace then pulled back as if it stung her._

"_Why now, Haymitch?" her voiced hitched low, husky and soft._

"_Because after watching the years go by…wasting the time we could have been together. I still love you," I stumbled. This was it. My last attempt and pitch to prove my worth to her. "I love the silly wigs and clothes you wear. I love the ridiculous heels that make your feet sore for days and you nag about it for days. That no woman in Panem aggravates, annoys and grates me like you do by just standing there like some peacock. I love you for the way you love Peeta and Katniss, the way you fight for them in your own way for. That even though you want people to think you hard, selfish and vapid, you are far from it. You're smart, beautiful…gorgeous and have the biggest heart I have ever known. Well, next to Peeta." I teased her. "That every time you escorted a boy and girl each year, you hid in your room and cried for hours, hating your job." Tear ran down her cheeks. I reached over and placed a hand on her face._

"_Effie, please be mine," I implored her. I wasn't above to begging on my knees for her hand in marriage. She nodded her head; a watery smile graced her face._

"_Took you long enough," she quipped back._

"_Shut up, woman," I teased, leaned down and kissed her._

**_End of flashback ––_**

* * *

Since then I never looked back, we had kept our secret for a while. We didn't want to announce our engagement until after Peeta's treatments were over. We decided to wait after we came back to 12 to begin our life together as husband and wife. Effie would arrange our wedding as soon as we arrived home. However, the news of Bron's accident shook her, shook all of us. Gale was something we didn't count on to put our life in perspective. I wanted to start my life with Effie. What was the point of waiting?

"_Life's short, Haymitch," Effie said. "I don't want to wait for the right moment or time. What if I'm making arrangements for a funeral instead of a wedding? What are we waiting for?" I agreed with her for once._

Present time, the next day after our announcement, Effie arranged our wedding ceremony to take place the next evening before Peeta's first treatment. We didn't want to wait anymore.

"I'm surprised that you're not with Peeta," I observed Katniss. She wore a bright pink evening gown that accentuated her girlish curves. Her hair was down and she wore a little make up. She harrumphed.

"Johanna and Delly, they made me…they said I should give Peeta a break and not hover," she pouted.

"Well, they are right––"

"No, you don't understand. Every time I leave him alone even for a minute, something happens to him," she said. There was genuine fear in her countenance. I understood her reluctance to part from him. Things did happen when they were apart.

"He's with Effie, Katniss. In the same floor," I explained. "Nothing is going to happen to him."

"I…I…finally have him. He's finally mine now…and I'm scared," she confessed. "I've been afraid to need him, to want and love him the way my mother loved my father. But I've been stupid and I hurt him…"

"Hey, I told you once you could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve him. It was true then," I told her. She nodded her head in agreement. After her appalling behavior in 13, I never expected Peeta to forgive but he did. Just like Effie, she forgave me.

"But you have a chance now to prove me wrong. And I really shouldn't have said that to you." I heard Johanna's boisterous laugh in the other room. "Listen, we both made mistakes with the people we love. We can't undo our past transgression but move forward and make damn sure that we are worthy of their love."

The wedding ceremony went off without a hitch. Though I felt my hands shook when I placed the necklace around Effie's neck. She looked into my eyes and she calmed me everyone around us disappeared. The vows were typical _'I'm fasten my life to you as you belong to me'_ yada yada yada. It was short and to the point. That was what mattered to me. We promised to have our own toasting once we arrived at 12. It would be private between Effie and me with Peeta and Katniss as our witnesses. Ordinarily, we wouldn't need witnesses but Effie insisted incase someone called out that our union was real and true in the eyes of District 12 tradition. I didn't care as along as I had her for my wife I would do anything. I was smitten and in love.

Peeta and Katniss danced beside us during the course of our little reception. We didn't want any fanfare so Effie made reservation at a private restaurant for our little party. I looked around me. Delly was transfixed at the cake that Peeta made for the wedding.

It was beautiful and simple with candy pearls and ripples of icing designed to look like silk. I couldn't decide if she was admiring or holding herself back from eating it. Johanna complained all night that her dress was atrocious and made her complexion look green. Then Delly broke down into tears as my wedding reception reminded of the one she was planning with Bron. It was everything I never expected but was overjoyed just the same. Effie Trinket was now my wife.

Johanna and Delly wore light pink dresses, as they were bridesmaid while Katniss was her Maid of Honor. Peeta stood beside me as my best man. He was pleased, surprised and embarrassed when I asked him.

"_Effie and I would be pleased if you and Katniss will stand by us during the ceremony," I said him. "Because we see you as our family, and there are no two people in the world that we want to stand next to us when we take our vows." _

They humbly agreed. Peeta wore the same penguin suit with the exception of his bowtie matching Katniss' dress. His long hair was slicked back with some fancy gel that made his blond hair shine. His eyes twinkled and never left Katniss as she stood next to Effie.

Effie Trinket. My bride and soon to be wife was…there were words that escaped me to describe the vision I married. She wore a dark blue silk gown that clung to her curves. There were two slits on the side of her dress that ended on her hips. The v-neck plunged down to her chest displayed her ample breasts. The back of her dress…my eyes grew wide. It was backless as it plunged down to the small of her back. Her hair was up in an intricate updo that it took several minutes to remove all the hairpins from her hair. It was worth every minute for her to have looked that breathtaking.

I love Effie, but I hated to admit that I feared she would have shown up dressed like a peacock. Dressed in her usual gaudy Capitol design with feathers and layers of layers of material to hide her perfect figure and a ton of makeup that was fit for a circus clown. But for our wedding, she astonished and surprised me.

We were hardly news worthy for the Capitol, an ex-reaping escort marrying a former Victor. However, pictures of the Star Crossed Lovers were secretly taken and flashed all over the news the next day. Rumors of their reunion ran rampant, that Mellark and Everdeen had renewed their vows.

Peeta was amused by the chaos it created in the Capitol while Katniss, surprisingly blushed. The only annoying factor was that Caesar 'requested' an interview to quell or acknowledge the gossip. It silenced the rumors of Peeta's betrayal while he was in the Capitol while she fought without him during the rebellion.

"Shouldn't you address the matter, Peeta?" Johanna asked him. All of us were having breakfast after a night of celebrating my wedding with Effie. "You know the media is not going to leave you and Katniss alone until you do something about it." She sipped her cup of coffee.

"I have more important things to worry about," Peeta answered back. He drank his tea without sugar and ate whatever was plated for him. "I have my first treatment today." Thus, ending the subject. As the new husband of Effie Trinket Abernathy, she refused to relinquish her maiden name but added mine. I could care less because at the end of the day she was my wife.

Now, with her by my side I found comfort with someone who loves me. I wished I had the courage to have done this years before, but I guess better late than never. I looked at Katniss who was staring at her boyfriend. It's too early for them to think or contemplate about marriage, but by the look in her eyes, it's something I know she'll want with Peeta. I just hope his treatments go well. The situation with Gale was still up in the air. But I knew it would have to be addressed. I just hope no one gets seriously hurt. But if I were push to make a decision, I'd die before I let anything happen to him again.

* * *

**Katniss POV ––**

I smiled to myself as I watched the newlyweds before me. Nothing changed much even their teasing banter remained. She was still Effie as he was Haymitch. I wasn't surprised when he announced his engagement. I suspected that something was going on between them since our arrival from District 2. They're so happy it made my heart leap.

"You two should have taken a week vacation after the wedding," Peeta said. He felt bad for them. We were on our way to the hospital for his first treatment. All of us including Rory were accompanying him to the hospital.

"It's the marriage that matters," Effie explained. "We have all the time in world to ourselves. You matter right now, Peeta."

I tightened my hand around his. He had been quiet all morning. Delly was already at the hospital with Johanna to visit Bron. He was progressing with his recovery and was scheduled for a complete body scan.

"All of you didn't have to come with me," Peeta added.

"Peeta, I was not about to stay home while you go on your treatment alone," Haymitch said as he leaned back on his chair. The hover car was designed for eight passengers. Haymitch drove with Effie beside him, Rory in the middle while Peeta and I sat in the back. "With Johanna watching Delly visit Bron, it was up to me, Katniss and Rory to escort you."

"Haymitch doesn't trust anyone to watch over you after Bron's fiasco," Effie added. "I wanted to be there for Katniss while she waited for you." She winked at me for support.

"So shut up and don't talk about going to your treatments alone," Haymitch huffed. Peeta was quiet for the rest of the ride to the hospital.

An hour later, he's seated on a hospital bed with an IV drip connected to his arm. Peeta looked pale and worried. I wanted to kiss his worries and fears away. I refused to leave his side while Kara took a blood sample. My boyfriend was half naked wearing his pants in front of Kara, a nurse and myself. I was definitely not leaving the room with googly wide-eyed admirer standing too close to him. Ugh. Why can't women just leave him alone? Though I can sympathize with them. Who wouldn't want Peeta Mellark for a boyfriend and a lover? _'Me,'_ I reminded myself. It took for him to get abused and hijacked for me to realize that I loved him, love him still. I flinched. _'We're together now, don't let the past haunt or stop us for having a future,' _Peeta once told me after our first night together. The night when we finally made love for the first time.

When we arrived Kara greeted us, she was amused but remained professional when we walked into the hospital, all five of us. "I know that the security detail is important," Kara started. "However, I can't have everyone in the room while I exam Peeta before the treatment."

Haymitch and Effie decided to visit Bron while they waited for him. Johanna joined Rory while they stood guard in the hallway pacing the corridors.

"What are you doing?" Peeta panicked when Kara removed my wristband. For months he felt uncomfortable as it chaffed the skin around his wrist. The only time he took it off was when Kara or Delly replaced it for recharging. But after months of wearing the band, it became a part of him he once told me. _"If it meant keeping everyone safe from me, I gladly wore it especially around you, Katniss."_

"I'll be back in a few minutes," Kara said. She gave the band to her assistant and walked out the door with his wristband. "She going to have the band tested and recharged. What's wrong Peeta?"

His breath grew uneven as he took deep breaths to keep his mind free from stress and worry. "What if I have an episode?"

I kissed his wrist. "She wouldn't have removed it if she didn't think I'd be safe with you alone." I squeezed his hand. "Trust yourself, Peeta because I trust you not to hurt me. You haven't hurt me or anyone in the months we've been together."

He sighed in relief. "I don't want anything to happen to you…the wristband––"

"Was just a precaution when you first arrived at 12," Kara interjected. "You haven't had an episode in weeks since your abduction."

"Only because I made sure not to…around Katniss or anyone I love."

"Exactly," she returned. "Don't become dependant on the band, Peeta. You've been controlling yourself despite wearing the band."

"It helps knowing that it's there incase I get triggered."

"Peeta, you're using it like a crutch, like Haymitch used alcohol to deal with his pain," she reminded him. "You don't need it."

A few minutes later the nurse walked through the door with a datapad in her hand. She smiled at Peeta as she handed it to Kara. I scowled at her. "I have good news, Peeta," Kara started. "For the past few weeks the venom in your system is down to 35%." He stared at her waiting to explain further. "Before you left and returned to District 12, the trackerjacker venom was at least 57%. It has gone down significantly."

"How?" Peeta asked in astonishment. From Dr. Aurelius first diagnosis, he claimed that it would take several blood transfusions to thin the venom from his system. It was dangerous since they would have to siphon 40% of his blood and transfuse compatible 'clean blood' back into his system.

"You know the pill regiment I had you taking for the past few weeks?" Kara said. "They were developed not just to detect the venom in your system, but to help mutate them." She touched his shoulder in a comforting manner. I winced in reaction. Kara is his doctor but the thought of any woman touching still vexed me. "Because you've been able to control your…emotions…emotions of anger, the venom hasn't multiplied or increased."

"Do I still have to have the treatments?" he asked, hoping she said no, that they weren't necessary.

"Yes, but…" she said. "You only need two or three session instead of the six we have originally scheduled and…"

"And?" I interjected while I took his hand ignoring the way the nurse was staring at Peeta.

"You only need to have one treatment today," she explained. "And the next one will be schedule in two weeks. In the meantime, you can go home back to 12 today after the session if you want."

"Really," Peeta asked with eyes wide open. Kara nodded her head. "I can go home today after my treatment?"

"Well, we need to see how you react with the first treatment and if all goes well, you can go home," she added. "I'll need to take another blood sample and make sure the venom blood hasn't increased but other than that…you can go home and be back here in two weeks." I hugged Peeta who had a look of surprise and disbelief on his face.

"Thank you Kara," I said while I held Peeta in my arms. He was still shocked at the news. She nodded her head. "Laura will take you to the therapy room within the next half hour." Laura. So that's her name.

"Can I be with him for his session?" I asked. I didn't want to be away from him not even for a second.

"I don't think it's good idea, but you can observe him in the next room," she explained. "I'm sorry Katniss, but this first treatment he has to endure on his own."

"I understand."

Half an hour later, my Boy with the Bread lay on a bed with his legs and arms strapped down. I held back the sob in my throat watching him hold his tears back. His face was red and puffy with anguish and fear. He struggled to keep his breath even. He looked around him. The room looked similar to the one in District 13 after they rescued him and held him down…to contain him.

"What the hell, Kara? What kind of treatment is he having to make you strap him up like that?" I yelled at her and Dr. Aurelius when they walked into the observation room.

"It wasn't my idea," Kara said as she stared at her associate. "Dr. Aurelius thinks that Peeta will hurt himself and the straps are there to insure that he doesn't."

"You're already scaring him. Look at him?" I screamed. "How is strapping him down not hurting him? Remove them now?"

"It's for his own good––" Dr. Aurelius started.

"What the fuck is going on?" Johanna roared. "Why is Peeta––"

"You're not supposed to be here, Mason," Dr. Aurelius stated. Johanna and Rory stepped into the room. "Get out."

"Fuck you, Aurelius," she screamed at him. Her face was red with fury. "He's my friend, my best friend. Look what you're doing to him?" She raced to the window and stood beside me. "Oh my God, are you trying to set him off…because by the look of it, that's where he's heading. Get him out of there now?"

"Do something, Kara," I added. "Can't you see you're hurting him tying him down like that? You're going to trigger him…he's barely holding on, can't you see that?"

"It's part of his treatment," Kara said. "He needs to be secured so he won't hurt himself."

"That's just fucking crazy," Johanna yelled. "Untie him now."

"Peeta agreed to the treatment," Dr. Aurelius stated.

"Did he know that you were going to tie him down like some rabid dog?" I seethed in anger. "Did he?"

Kara looked at Aurelius. "I told you that there would be objections to your methods."

"So, what do you suggest, Kara?" he returned in exasperation.

"Let Katniss be in the room with him," she returned.

"No, I object…he might hurt her in the process," he bellowed.

"The process you created," Kara shouted.

"He's never hurt me," I bellowed. Kara and my voice intermingled. "What?"

"What the fuck?" Johanna hollered. "What are you saying Kara?"

"I'm sorry, Aurelius," she spoke to him. "But you need to tell them, and you need to do it now."

"Tell us what?" I asked in impatience and frustration. My eyes were glued to Peeta. His head was down, and his eyes closed, tears tracked down his cheeks. I could tell he was taking deep breaths to calm himself. His fists and teeth were clenched. I felt his pain and fear. Seeing him like that broke my heart.

"I'm not going to let Peeta go through this without him knowing your part," she threatened him. "Tell them now or I will."

"What's the point of telling them," Dr. Aurelius stated. "I'm trying to help him…help him undo..." He stopped wringing his hands together. He was holding something back.

Johanna pulled out her rifle and pointed it at him. The aggressive move startled him. Good. "You better start singing like a mockingjay and tell us what the fuck she's talking about or I'll––"

"I wasn't…there," he started. "But I was…the one who created the process…" His throat worked overtime, I watched him swallow several times. His Adam's apple bob up and down his neck and then took a deep breath. "I was the one that created the process to turn him…I supplied the images and videos that…that brainwashed him while he was injected with the venom." I heard a scream. I didn't' know if it was Johanna's or mine. "Snow couldn't beat information from him…so he asked me to experiment on him with the trackerjacker venom while they projected images––"

Dr. Aurelius was the one who gathered and produced the images that helped torture Peeta. My Peeta who was in the next suffering from his experiment. My mind couldn't process the revelation, the horror and anger boiled in my belly.

The next thing I knew I had my hands wrapped around his slimy neck. "Katniss stop," Kara yelled in my ear. Her voice didn't register. All I saw was Peeta, injected with the venom while they flashed false images of me killing his family and hurting him, turning his love against me and making me a monster, a mutt in his mind.

"You did this to him!" I bellowed as I squeezed my hands around his neck. He was choking and struggled to breath. "You were there…and you fucked with his mind to kill me." Kara yanked my arms away from him while Johanna held me around the waist. "You knew how he felt about me and you used it against him. I want to fucking kill you." My throat hurt from yelling and my head spun. I had visions of Peeta being tortured, starved and beaten in my head. Then a tiny voice shook me from my anger; a tiny voice that broke the fire within me of rage, anger and hatred.

"Katniss," Peeta whimpered. "Katniss."

I sobbed and palmed my mouth from screaming again. He called out to me from the next room. His face was contorted with fear while tears fell from his red eyes. I ran to the window my hands palmed the surface. My ears strained to hear him. His voice was weak and soft but I heard him. Anger turned to fear and longing.

"Katniss, Katniss," he chanted over and over. "Not real, not real." I saw the first hints of an episode; his eyes grew dark while a sneer twisted his beautiful face. He blinked several times shaking his head as if he's trying to clear his mind.

"Let me be there with him," I cried. I turned to Kara. "Please, he needs me."

"He's triggered, Katniss," Dr. Aurelius said.

"And whose fault is that?" I spurned back. "If you hadn't tied him up like that…like they did back in 13, he wouldn't have been triggered."

"He's dangerous right now," Kara said.

"He won't hurt me. He had never hurt me," I hollered back at them. "You fucking listen to me." I grabbed Aurelius by his shirt. "You did this to him and you don't have the right to tell me how to treat my boyfriend. He's calling me."

"Katniss, you know that Peeta will never forgive us if he finds out that he hurt you," Johanna added. "Maybe it's not a good idea for you to be there…look at him."

"I am looking at him," I sobbed. "He's hurting, confused and he's need me." She turned to Kara. "Release him and let me go to him."

"No," Kara shook her head. "You're gambling your life and Peeta would not––"

"I don't care," I screamed. "I wasn't there for him the last time. I abandoned him."

"If this is about you feeling guilty for––" Aurelius interjected.

"You shut the fuck up," Johanna roared. "I don't trust you. You've been treating Peeta after all this time and you're the one that made him lose his mind." She pointed her gun at him. "You will not step into that room, ever."

"I'm his primary physician," he retorted. "You can't stop me."

"Wrong," Kara interrupted. "He, Peeta." She pointed at him. "Made me his primary physician back in District 12."

"Will you two please stop talking to him like a prize to be won," I shouted at everyone. "I can't believe you two." She stood toe-to-toe to Kara. "And you, I trusted you. I trusted you to take care of him…not keep secrets from him. You know he feels about that." Hypocritical was what I felt considering how much I kept from him during our whole association.

"Not real. Not real," Peeta continued to chant to himself. "Katniss, where's Katniss?"

"Listen to him. He needs me," I retorted. "Untie him now, damnit."

"You're not his medical proxy," Aurelius reminded me. "I believe Nurse Cartwright can decide what to do in this instant since he's not of…clear mind. He agreed––"

"Peeta agreed to do what you asked of him for his treatment, but did you tell him that you were going to have to subdue him, tie him up as part of the treatment?" I said. Aurelius was quiet for several seconds. "Well? Did you tell him?"

"Um…"

"You didn't because I know Peeta would never agree to that…" I pointed at my Boy with the Bread. He thrashed and pulled against his restraints leaving marks on his arms and leg. "I'm telling you right now. Untie him."

"Like I said you're not his medical proxy and only Delly can––"

"Delly relinquished it back in District 12," Kara added. "He didn't want to give the burden or responsibility to her."

"Oh yeah, I remember," Johanna confirmed. "She was really broken up about having to decide what to do incase something…something bad happened to him."

"So as his leading physician I can and will decide what do next," Kara said. She appeared sad, taking responsibility for Peeta.

"Nah I don't think so," Johanna interrupted. "I believe that Katniss has the right to decide what to do with Peeta."

"Katniss? She's only his girlfriend. No insult intended," Kara directed at her. "She is no more responsible for him."

"Unless, they are married or engaged, she can't decide anything for him," Aurelius reiterated. "Since they are not married I assume that––"

"But they're engaged," Johanna stated as matter of fact. I stared at her for a few seconds and remembered what she told me the night before Peeta and I made love for first time.

"Under District 7 rites and customs, Peeta and Katniss are engaged and have been for several months," she exclaimed. "The moment he placed a crown of flowers on her head in District 12 and she accepted. She and Peeta are by crowning ceremony, traditionally bound together." She smirked at Aurelius. "So by law and tradition, Katniss has the say to what happens to Peeta and is responsible for his well being."

"That only applies if he is a District 7 citizen. He's from 12," Aurelius argued.

"He applied for residency and citizenship months prior. It was accepted before he left 12 for his treatments," she challenged him. "So they are in District 7 customs married."

'_Huh,'_ I recalled Johanna telling me about the rites and customs, but I was too despondent to connect the dots. Peeta was pulling away from me. I remembered the day after our camping date; Peeta placed a crown of flowers on my head as I did for him. It was no wonder she and Delly responded in surprise and amusement when we arrived at the Victor's Village the day after. _'I married Peeta,'_ I said to myself. Peeta's whimpers and moans broke my inner turmoil. He was in pain and we were talking about semantics. If I'm his wife then I had the right to decide his treatment and well-being.

"I don't give a shit about that now," my voice raised. "I want you to untie him now and I want to be in there with him." Neither Kara nor Aurelius responded. "I said now." I moved and walked out the door. "And I want Johanna there with me and not him." I pointed to Aurelius. "You're fired. I don't want you anywhere near Peeta. I'll…kill you if you touch a single hair on his head." I shoved him hard. "Kara will take care of Peeta from now on." Dr. Aurelius shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Katniss," he said.

"You can fuck yourself," Johanna responded. "You heard her, you fired. So leave already before I throw you out." He left the room.

"Okay, you both can go but Johanna," Kara spoke to her. "You need to talk off your uniform."

"What? Why?" she asked surprised.

"Peeta associates that black uniform with Gale Hawthorne," Kara explained. I turned my eyes to Rory who was quiet throughout the whole exchange. "He'll definitely react negatively if you show up wearing that. And he…" She pointed to Rory. "…needs to stay out of sight."

Johanna nodded her head in understanding. She took off her boots, pants and shirt without any hesitation. Rory blushed and turned his head.

"I'll…uh…walk the perimeter," Rory stumbled as his eyes grew wide with each article of clothing Johanna removed. "Right, so I'll do that now." He ran out the door before his face turned red from shock.

"What, Hawthorne? Never saw a woman in tank and panties," she yelled at him. He disappeared into the corridor.

"Don't embarrass him, Johanna," I chided her. "We don't have time to be messing around."

"Sorry," she said in a sheepish manner. "If you want to go to him now, let's go." She walked out the room. I shook my head. I forgot that Johanna was not embarrassed or ashamed with her state of undress. She undressed in front of Peeta, Haymitch and I during the Victory Tour. Dressed with only wearing a tank top and black panties, I sighed in relief that she didn't walk in to see my boyfriend naked. I wouldn't put it past her if she did.

Once inside the therapy room, I walked over to Peeta. His eyes were closed and he was mumbling under his breath. "Peeta? It's me Katniss."

"Not real, not real," he repeated.

"Peeta, open your eyes," I demanded. "Please, baby, it's me Katniss." Peeta opened his eyes and stared into mine. I smiled at him. I tried not to cry willing my strength and love to him. I had to stay strong.

"Katniss?" His face crumpled and his lips quivered. He opened his mouth but no words or sound came out.

"Yes, it's me, Katniss," I said to him. He closed his eyes again.

"You're not real. You're a trick," he said between his clenched teeth. I could hear him grinding his teeth. "You're not real. Katniss would never come for me. She left me." I gasped in pain and heartache. His words stung. "I'm alone. She'd never come for me." Tears seeped between his eyelids. "She left me to die."

"Peeta," I cried out touching his arm. He opened his eyes wide once he felt my other hand on his chest. "I'm real. See my hand on your chest." His heartbeat was fast thumping hard on his chest. "I'm real." Kara stepped behind me.

"She's real, Peeta," Johanna walked at the opposite side of me. He stared at my face for several seconds blinking his eyes.

"Peeta, we're going to untie you, okay?" Kara instructed him. "Just relax and don't hurt yourself. You're going to be fine."

He nodded his head. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry…I forgot. I forgot why I'm…why I'm here." He dropped his head, his chin hitting his upper chest.

"It's okay, Peeta," Kara spoke while she untied his legs. "I'm sorry. I should have known how you would react when they tied you down." I scowled at her. "How are you feeling? Does your head hurt?"

Peeta shook his head. He sighed in relief once the restraints were removed from his hands. "My heart's beating real fast." Kara placed a hand on his chest and his forehead. "Listen, today isn't a good day for you to do this. I wanted to set up your treatment differently but Dr. Aurelius objected. Had I known they were going to tie him up like that I wouldn't have let them." She looked guilty and ashamed. "You can come back tomorrow."

"No," Peeta reacted. "I freaked out and…I thought I was back in the Capitol when I was hijacked. I'm okay. Really I am."

"Peeta, you're heart rate is elevated," Kara said to him. "You almost…had an episode."

"But I didn't," he reminded her. "I got out of it before it got worse. I want to do it now. I don't want to wait until tomorrow. Just don't…don't tie me up, please."

"I want to be with him for his treatment," I added as I took his hands. They were cold and trembling. I used my sleeve to wipe sweat misting on his forehead. He sighed at my touch.

"And I want to stay too," Johanna said. "If that's okay with Peeta?" He nodded his head and smiled at her.

"Okay, I need to explain my method of treatment that's different from Dr. Aurelius," Kara explained. "But before I begin does anyone have any questions?" Peeta spoke, his brows furrowed.

"Why is Johanna wearing her underwear?" he asked.

Ten minutes later, I held my breath and anger as Kara explained what Aurelius had planned for Peeta. He was going to use the same method of brainwashing but reinforcing the images with real and true images that Delly had collected with the two of us. A picture of my mutated image would be placed next to a positive and real image of us in our time together starting from Tamryn's birthday party to the present.

During the 'presentation' his blood would be transfused with clean blood. The game of real and not real would reinforce Peeta's ability to differentiate what was true and false. I wanted to vomited when I finally realized what they done to him. Peeta was always a visual person. He saw beauty in things and in people. Any perversion or ugliness he experienced or watched in the world didn't taint him or his beautiful soul. He found love and beauty in all things under the sun. They, his abusers used that wonderful gift to twist and turn his love for me by creating me into a monster in his eyes. With the help of the trackerjacker, it speed up the process in his mind. And the fact that he knew I didn't love him helped achieve their goal. He was programmed to kill Katniss Everdeen, the mutt who killed his family and destroyed his life.

"…my process is kinder and humane," Kara added. "What I will or rather will do is to put him under hypnosis. While he's under, I will ask him to bring out any memories he has of you…the first time he saw you. Images and memories he collected before the hijacking."

"Peeta would tell me stories of the times he saw you in school, at the bakery," Johanna said. "It helped him stay alive. Praying that you were okay."

"Katniss, it would help me if you stayed by his side while he's under," Kara interjected. "Your voice will help him if he gets lost in his memories; especially the false memories. So I'm okay with you staying." Peeta gripped my hand tight. "I'm also going to use the videos and images that was used to break you. The mutated and mutt pictures will not be used. Just the ones that were used in association with the negative images of Katniss."

"I like this way better," he said. I nodded my head smiling back at him.

"Me, too." He looked tired and small in the bed. There were red marks on his arms from the restraints. A large bruise formed on his right ankle. I wanted to find Aurelius and beat the shit out of him.

I shuddered at the thought of watching the videos and images they used that broke him. Dr. Aurelius wanted to make him relive those moments. It was cruel.

While Kara prepared Peeta for the treatment, I stared at my boyfriend. Then I remembered Johanna telling me that Peeta was actually my husband. If the rites and customs were true and legal, I married him weeks ago in District 12, but under the ceremonial ritual of District 7. I smiled at the thought. His laughter interrupted my thoughts.

"Really, Johanna, you can put your uniform back on," he said with a big smile on his face. "I don't think Paylor would appreciate the image your representing right now."

"Fuck my job, I really hate wearing that shit. It's so constricting," she complained. "The only cool thing about this job is that I have access to the hovercrafts and the armory. You should see it Peeta. It's amazing."

"Yeah, and the fact that you have a whole army of people working under you," he reminded her. "You command a whole army, Johanna."

"Oh my God, your right. I didn't even think about that." Her eyes were wide from the revelation. They spoke with ease and comfort with each other. She sat on his bed by his legs. I kept quiet listening to them converse enjoying the timber of Peeta's voice and Johanna's laughter. I never thought that Johanna Mason, the Victor from District 7 would become an important person, a great friend. Just like Delly. His association and friendship with Delly and Johanna brought them in my life. I owe my new family to Peeta I reminded myself.

As for the Boy with the Bread, he needed a haircut. The tips of his hair curled as it grew past his ears. It was odd seeing him not wearing the wristband. I recalled the sixteen year-old boy, I was reaped with. He grew so much not just physically but emotionally. He wasn't the timid young boy who followed me like a love struck puppy dog. He knew me, the selfish, stubborn girl he still loved with. He saw the ugly side of me that held grudges, ran when things were hard to handle and cruel to others when cornered or gotten hurt. He loved me still. I owed him but not out of debt for saving my life over and over. I gave my life and heart to him willingly out of love.

"So, are you ready, Peeta?" Kara asked as she entered the room. With a squeeze to my hand for support, he nodded his head. I sat next to him by his legs.

"I'll sit over here," Johanna stated as she hoped off the bed and walked to a lounge chair inside the room. "Just call me if you need me, Peeta. I'm not going anywhere." I smiled thanking her in silence when our eyes connected. I looked back at Peeta.

"I'll be right here, Peeta," I promised him while I leaned over and kissed his trembling lips. "Always."

**Effie POV ––**

I bit my nails. It was a horrible habit that was difficult to break. Thank God for press on nails. "Effie, stop biting your nails," my new husband reprimanded me.

"I can't help it. Look at him," I said as I gestured my head towards Peeta. He was in the next room with Kara, Katniss and Johanna. "Why can't we go inside with them?"

"He asked for Johanna and Katniss to stay with him," he answered her. "Besides, we don't want to crowd him." Haymitch held me from behind. I pressed my back onto his chest. I felt safe in the comfort of his strong arms. I never realized the joy or security that I gained after marrying Haymitch. Mind you, we've only been married for…close to one day but it was reassuring to know that he would be there for me.

"This is nice," he whispered in my ear.

I tugged on his arms around my waist. "It is but don't get used to it," I chided him in playful manner. "You know how I feel about public displays of affection."

"Aw, come on, my muffin top," he teased me. I pinched his arm that was wrapped around my stomach.

"Ouch, that was uncalled for," he winced.

"Don't you start with the nickname calling," I snickered at him.

"Hey, I'm allowed," he retorted. "I'm a newly married man. I'm entitled to act like a teenager in love."

"Well, you're not a teenager. You're a grown man," I huffed.

He kissed the shell of my ear causing me to groan. "I feel like al teenager in love," he said. I shivered as his tongue licked my ear. I pulled away from him.

"You can't do that here," I said gasping to breath through my mouth. "You know what it does to me." He chuckled.

"Oh, come on sweetheart," he said reaching out to me.

"Mr. Abernathy, I ask you to behave," I scolded him. "We're here for Peeta. If you can't control yourself, you might as well go home."

He pulled his hands up in the air in surrender. "Sorry, Effie. I just…when Delly told me what she found about Aurelius, I wanted to kill the bastard."

"Haymitch, language," I reprimanded him. I was about to scold him further when I noticed his face. He had a look of worry in his eyes that caused me to turn around. Peeta was sitting upright grabbing his head with Katniss' arms wrapped around him. She clutched his body close to her. Johanna was immobile and seated inside the room. She wore a tank top and panties. _'Hm, how uncivilized and uncouth of her,' _my mind commented. She stayed far away from their interaction but I felt her support and comfort if needed.

"Not real, not real," I heard his voice on the intercom.

"You're okay, Peeta," Katniss voice mingled with his. "I'm right here. It's real, Peeta. It's real." I looked at the screen in front of them. It was an image of Katniss in her MockingJay outfit bow in her hand. The picture unsettled him causing him to panic. Then, there was an image of Katniss in her forest green dress that Peeta had picked for their official date in District 2. "See that's me as well. Remember our date in District 2? I loved that dress, you know why? Because you chose it for me. You knew my favorite color. And the dress was perfect, perfect for me." She kissed the top of his head. "I'll never forget that date, Peeta. You wore a dark gray suit that made your eyes sparkle. It was so blue like a cornflower." He calmed down and sighed against her breast. My heart broke for them.

"I'm going to kill him when I see him," Haymitch swore under his breath.

"This feels wrong, Haymitch," I muttered trying to contain my anguish. "We shouldn't be watching this. It's too personal." I grabbed him around the waist hiding my eyes in his chest.

"Peeta made me promise to watch over Katniss during the treatment," he explained. "Don't you think this is killing me too?" It was killing all of us. Johanna turned her head. I thought I detected tears in her eyes. It was hard to tell since I had tears of my own blinding me.

The treatment went on for forty minutes. Forty sad and happy minutes that drained Peeta and Katniss as well. He was weak from the transfusion while she buckled from the strain of watching Peeta react to the video. And it was only his first. Under the hypnosis the first twenty minutes he recalled any happy moments or experiences he had with Katniss. In truth there weren't many. The first kiss in the cave was the only vivid moment he had of her. Peeta thought it was real and true. The next happy moments he remembered were during the Victory Tour. Though he knew it wasn't real and she pretended to love him, he held on to the memories. Peeta acknowledged that it was the only time he had with Katniss whether she wanted him or not. He lived on the crumbs she left him.

That night, it was Haymitch, Delly, Johanna, Rory and I at the dining table having a quiet dinner. Both Katniss and Peeta waved off any attempt to join us. As soon as they entered the penthouse suite, they trudged to their bedroom without a word or glance. Katniss half carried Peeta with her arm around his waist as they climbed the stairs to their loft. Their room was quiet all afternoon. Not a sound coming from their bedroom. I was worried about them but kept my concern to myself. Everyone was already on edge. I couldn't understand Haymitch trust in Rory. He is Gale Hawthorne's brother. I didn't trust him.

"Rory, you can sleep on the coach in the study. I don't want you to go anywhere without telling us where you're going," I said to him. "I'm trusting you to keep the people I love safe, Hawthorne. So God help me, if I find out you're here to spy on us or keep a track on Peeta for your brother." I stopped to catch my breath. "This is a promise and not a threat. I will kill you myself." Haymitch gasped in horror. I have never been a violet person, but when it came to Peeta and Katniss, I would do anything even if it meant to kill to protect them. Haymitch and Johanna felt the same.

"I'm here because I want to Haymitch," Rory answered back. "I love my brother, but I do know what's right and wrong. It was wrong of me to spy on Peeta for him." He dipped his head down. "I'm ashamed to have done that for him. If I had known he was going to hurt him like that I would have never agreed to spy on him."

"I believe you," I said as I touched his shoulder. "You can make it up to him by helping me and Johanna protect Peeta and Katniss. That's all I ask of you."

"Thank you for giving me this chance to do what's right," he said. "Katniss has always been kind to me, like a sister. I wouldn't let anything happen to her too."

At midnight, I found myself restless and in a state of anxiety. It was quiet, too quiet. I left my new husband in our bed snoring happily. I crept up the stairs to check up on my favorite victors. On their bed, I found two young teens wrapped around each other. Peeta cradled Katniss in his arms while she laid her head on his chest. They were fast asleep. I flinched noting their state of undress. It didn't take any imagination to know that they were naked underneath the blanket. I had many lovers in my life but I had never felt the ease or security of lying in bed naked with any of them. It was too personal and level of intimacy I never trusted with any man except with Haymitch. Relieved that they were at peace, I tiptoed out of their room. Watching them sleep in peace left me at ease.

On my way back down the stairs, both Delly and Johanna surprised me. "What are you two young ladies doing up at this hour?" I chided them. Their appearance startled me. I placed a hand on my chest feeling my heartbeat racing.

"Same thing as you. Checking up on Peeta and Katniss," Johanna explained.

"They didn't eat dinner or come out of the room since coming back from the hospital," Delly stated. "We couldn't sleep worrying about them." I turned them around leading back to their bedroom.

"Go back to bed, they're both fine," I assured them.

"Well, I can't sleep," Johanna complained. "Peeta's treatment drained me. It was horrible watching him with Katniss. And that was his first session."

"At least, he doesn't have to do it again until another two weeks," Delly mentioned. "And Kara says he wouldn't have to come back to the Capitol. He can have the next one back at the clinic in District 12."

"I'm surprised that they didn't join us for dinner," Johanna added. "They got to be hungry by now."

"Well, they're both asleep I assure you," I told them. "If they get hungry, you know Peeta will take of Katniss and himself." There were no nightmares that night. No screams or cries of anguish from Katniss or Peeta.

The next morning, I could barely keep my eyes opened from lack of sleep. I slipped on a dressing gown and walked out my bedroom leaving Haymitch in bed. It was early as the sun tipped the horizon. I took a deep breath and smelled…breakfast. Curious, I walked in the kitchen and found Peeta making pancakes while Katniss cooked eggs and bacon. The table was set with fruit, juice and assortment of bread and butter with a decanter for coffee.

"Oh my dears, you up and so early," I greeted them.

"Good morning, Effie," they greeted me back. Peeta and Katniss looked fresh and happy in the early morning light. "You hungry? We're starving." Peeta chimed. He looked so adorable with his hair askew. The boy was in a need of a haircut. Katniss was also in need of a cut but I gave up on trying to teach her proper grooming habits. Peeta loved her just the same.

"Help yourself to some pancake, bacon and eggs. We made plenty for everyone," Katniss added. She picked up a decanter of tea and placed it on the table. As she passed Peeta, she stopped and kissed his cheek. "Are the cheese buns ready?" I perked up into awareness.

"Cheese buns?" I inquired. My mouth watered at the mere mention of his famous bread.

"Peeta, how wonderful. I do miss your baking." Peeta chuckled back.

"Good morning everyone," Johanna spoke as she appeared in the room and sat next to me. "How are you two feeling today?"

"I still feel tired and hungry," Peeta answered.

"I bet," Johanna returned. "We were worried about you two. You guys slept the whole night away." She picked up a plate and scooped up three pancakes and poured a large dollop of maple syrup on her plate.

"The treatment drained me," he admitted. "Kara said she siphoned and transfused enough platelets. She hoped it wasn't too much because I could develop an infections or fever as a side effect. So I have to see her this morning before we go home." Katniss sat down across from me.

"We're going home?" Johanna asked. "Since when did we decide this?"

"Kara did say I can go home today after the first treatment," he answered back. He shrugged his shoulders and sat next to Katniss. She immediately served him three pancakes, eggs, bacon and a cheese bun.

"Thanks, baby," he praised his girlfriend as he took her hand and kissed it. He's always so polite and sweet.

"Does Haymitch know?" Johanna addressed me. I picked at the cantaloupe and strawberries. I settled for the honeydew instead. The pancakes and syrup went straight to my hips. I couldn't allow that.

"How would I know?" I scoffed back. "Ask him when he wakes up."

"I don't' have any problems in leaving. I didn't know that we were leaving that's all," she returned. "The farther away we from this place, the better I'll feel."

"Me too," Katniss agreed.

"Where is Haymitch?" Johanna asked.

"Still asleep," I answered back. "Is Delly up yet?"

"Yeah, she was in the shower the last time I saw her," she informed us. Speaking of Delly.

"Good morning, everyone," Delly chirped as she hugged everyone seated at the table. I have high hopes for Delly. For a District 12 citizen she was adept to learning the finer things that the Capitol had to offer. She had often asked me for advise on clothes and manners. Johanna could care less while Katniss was oblivious to proper grooming. But, Delly held great promise under my tutelage.

"How baby Cartwright?" Peeta asked like a proud uncle.

"Starving," she quipped back. She sat next to Peeta. "How you doing Peeta?" She turned to him and felt his forehead to gauge his temperature.

"I'm okay, Delly," he returned. "I'm tired but I expected that and…I don't have a headache. I feel…okay?"

"If you start to feel woozy or nauseated, I need you to tell me okay," she demanded him.

"I'm fine, Delly," he assured her. "I have Katniss to take care of me. Besides, don't you have your hands full with the baby and Bron? He is permitted to leave today, right?"

"Kara said he's cleared to leave today if all his vitals are stable," Delly said. "Johanna, can we take the hovercraft to 12?"

"That's out of the question and not a good idea," Haymitch said as he appeared in the room. He walked over kissed me on the check and sat beside me. He picked up a plate. "Paylor had forbidden any hovercrafts to be used as transportation for us. Gale is still out there and we won't take any chances. If…we leave today, we will leave by train. It'll take longer to get back to 12 but I'll feel a whole lot safer."

I had forgotten about that horrible young man. Though I must admit that he is handsome, dark hair and piercing gray eyes, his sulking personally and abrasive behavior left much to be desired. I'd prefer blond hair blue eyes boys myself. If was twenty years younger, I would latch onto Peeta without question. Katniss would definitely be in competition for his affections. Oh, young love.

"I guess you're right," Johanna agreed. "He'll probably blow another hovercraft out of the sky thinking we were taking it back home."

"I don't mind taking the train," Delly joined. "I love the places we travel through. I love all the districts especially 7."

"Maybe we can stop by for a day and visit Annie," Peeta wondered. "That's if she's up to seeing visitors."

"Great idea. I'll call ahead and ask," Johanna added. Stopping for a day at District 4, not my cup of tea. The district had too much sand and seawater causing my hair to be lifeless and limp. And, the smell. Eww, who could stand the smell of fish everywhere. I'll stand it just for a day since Haymitch has a fondness for Finnick's widow and son. I'll cope.

At the hospital, Kara examined Peeta. He was cleared for go home. Both Katniss and Peeta packed their bags in anticipation.

"So can we go home today, Haymitch?" Peeta appealed to him.

"We don't want to stay here in the Capitol any longer than we have to," Katniss added.

"Let me see what the train schedule looks like. I don't why we should wait another day if you're ready to go home." Peeta looked pleased at the possibility. It was not often that he reacted happily as of late. The strain of visiting and staying the Capitol took a toll on him. It was apparent to everyone.

However I detected a bit of weariness in Peeta's demeanor. Granted, he was completely drained from yesterday's treatment, but Kara approved of his evaluation. So I dismissed my uneasiness.

Two hours later, my resourceful husband managed to acquire a private train with four compartments. One compartment was for a kitchen and dining area and the rest for living room and bedroom spaces. It was ideal since Bron and Rory occupied one half of a compartment, while the other half would be shared with Johanna and Delly. Haymitch and I shared the last compartment with Peeta and Katniss.

"I'm so glad we're leaving this place," Johanna admitted as we walked into the narrow corridors of the train. My feet hurt. I should have worn lower heels but I didn't anticipate the walk and two hour wait for the arrival of the private transportation that Haymitch secured for us.

"I'm happy that Peeta doesn't have to come back here for his next treatment," Delly rejoined. "Bron is happy to going back home to 12." Bron and Delly have a lot of work to get their relationship back in order. I wasn't surprised that Delly forgave him. It would take time for her to trust him again. I don't doubt that they would find their way back to each other. I have faith in their love that they could reconcile from his betrayal.

"We all are," Haymitch joined in. All of us settled into our compartment. Delly stayed with Bron during dinner since he was incapable of movement. It also provided the time they needed alone.

The train sped through District 2 without any drama or incident. I wasn't expecting any but we were alert for any trouble or mishap to derail us. We wouldn't fell safe or secure until we reached District 12 soil and in our own homes. Speaking of homes, I have to have a long discussion with Haymitch about the state of his residence. His house is longer just his home; it'll be mine as well. I'll have my way as usually do. Our new home will be redesigned to my specifications. If not, he'll be sleeping on the coach until I have my way. I snickered at the thought.

I watched the dark sky as the train travelled through District 3. It was 2 am in the morning. I'm usually at ease when travelling by train, but for some reason. This trip has me anxious and restless. A sound from the corridor startled me. When I opened my door to investigate where the sound was coming from, I caught Peeta and Katniss sneaking pass our room.

"We're going to get a snack, Effie," Peeta explained their early morning activity. "Sorry if we woke you up." A snack? Is that what young people are calling it these days? I may be older than them but I'm not stupid. Katniss blushed bright red. They were both wearing t-shirt and shorts. I tried not looking at Peeta's prosthetic leg. I winked at them.

"Just clean up after yourselves," I smirked back and returned to my sleeping beauty. He was clutching a pillow stealing mine from my side. I slipped back onto the bed removing the pillow from him. Haymitch snorted in his sleep. I placed my head on his shoulders feeling the rise and fall of his chest. It soothed and relaxed me.

I didn't know how long I've slept but the next thing I knew, I'm tossed out of bed and the room was upside down. I heard Haymitch cursed.

"What the fuck," he screamed.

"Haymitch, what's happening?" I cried just as the room settled on its' side. The bed was secured onto the floor just like the rest of the furniture. We were lucky not to be buried and hurt from mattress that was tossed aside.

"We're under attack," he explained. "Something derailed the train. It's the only explanation."

"Oh my God," I said in fear. I recalled the evacuation in 13; the emergency evacuation that was implemented due to Peeta's warning to Katniss. District 13 was bombed the next morning. He saved our lives.

"Are you hurt? Sweetheart, Effie say something," he said as he crawled to me.

"I'm okay," I assured him. I wasn't about to admit that I landed on my ass hard. There was probably a very large bruise on my hip. I ached from the pain.

"Come on, get dressed," he instructed me. "We need to make sure everyone is okay."

As I could determine the compartments were on its' side. How much damage we sustained, it was too early to tell. Our first concern was to find everyone and make sure no one was seriously hurt. I grasped onto Haymitch hand tight as we traversed through the wrecked train.

"Haymitch, Effie I can't find Peeta and Katniss," Johanna screamed when we met her in the upturned corridors.

"What do you mean?" he said as panic settled on his usually calmed face.

"I went to look for them in their compartment," she said. "They're not there."

"Oh shit," Haymitch swore. "Where can they be? The last time I saw them they were in their compartment next to us."

"Did you look in the dining room?" I interrupted them.

"What? Why would they be–" Haymitch interjected with frustration and fear.

"Just look, okay," I said as I walked towards the room. I passed Rory and Bron's compartment to find Delly helping her ex fiancé who lay on his back asleep or unconscious. I couldn't' tell the difference. "Is Bron okay?" Haymitch and Johanna went ahead to check the dining room for Peeta and Katniss.

"He's fine. Just a little banged up like the rest of us," Delly informed me. "He was uncomfortable and couldn't sleep so I gave him a sedative." She snickered. "He slept through the whole thing. It was probably a good thing for him. He'll wake up in pain when the sedative wears off."

I checked on Rory. "You okay, Rory?" He nodded his head.

"I'm fine, Effie," he answered back. "Is everyone okay?"

"We're fine, but…"

"What?" Delly inquired. "What's wrong Effie? Is Peeta or Katniss hurt?" She stood up picking up her first aid kit. There was a look of fear on her face.

"We can't find them?" I admitted.

"What do you mean?

"The last time I talked to them. It was an hour ago," I explained. "They were getting a snack."

"Come on, let's go," she said as she pushed past me heading towards the dining area. I gasped in horror when we met up with Johanna and Haymitch. There was nothing in front of us. Whatever bomb or explosion hit the train severed us from the dining area and engine. The two compartments were left behind. We…were left behind. There was evidence that the dining room took the direct hit. Part of it was blown to pieces. There was no sign of Peeta or Katniss.

"Oh my God, Haymitch. Where are they?" Johanna cried out. "Peeta. Katniss!" Delly broke into tears.

"What if they're hurt somewhere? We need to find them now?" Delly sobbed.

"Listen, we'll look around and search everywhere," Haymitch directed an order. "Don't panic." After searching through the compartment for flashlights, Haymitch and Johanna dressed and took off in search for Peeta and Katniss. "Johanna, look around at a hundred yard perimeter. Then come back. I don't want you to get lost in the dark. It'll be light soon but…"

"I need to look incase they were thrown off the train, Haymitch," she said. "They could be hurt out lying…unconscious. I don't know the animals in this terrain, but I can take care of myself." She patted her knife on her waist while she harnessed her rifle onto her back. This was the Johanna Mason I remembered before the Quarter Quell. Her best friend was missing. Her family. There was nothing we could do to stop her.

"I understand," he said in return. "Just stay alert. Don't wander off to far, please. We need to stick together." She nodded her head as she took off into the dark forest.

"Effie, I want you to keep everyone safe while I look around," he said to me. "If Peeta and Katniss are out there hurt or… I need to look or I'll go insane wandering if…"

"Go, I understand," I soothed his crinkled brow and kissed him. "Don't get lost. We just got married and I don't want to lose you."

"I'm going to be okay, Effie," he said. "Keep watch over everyone. We'll get through this. Peeta and Katniss are strong and resilient. They're okay, I can feel it."

I kissed him one last time for luck.

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_**AN: Whew, thank you for reading this chapter. You guys are awesome for sticking around this long. Have a great weekend.**_

_**AN#2: This is my shameless plug to everyone. After many months of late night editing and hard work, I'm proud to announce that my brother is now a published author. His book "Attack of the Peacekeepers" by G. P. Navarre is now available at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, iTunes and Google Play. For more information of the book, please visit his Facebook website, Radiant Starlight series. I'm so proud of him. Thanks again reading 'The Weary Heart."**_


	50. Chapter 50 - The Most Dangerous Game 1

Chapter 50 – The Most Dangerous Game 1

_AN: My apologies for not updating last week. Very busy promoting my brother's book. It's been a very exciting experience. Thank you for everyone who has ever reviewed, alert and favored 'The Wear Heart.' Especially the following reviewers: Trude, Matainer, DJane, Lillian and LACR. Hungry Games and the characters belong to Suzanne Collins, minus my little additions. For those who have stuck with me from the beginning and those who have stuck around, I send my humblest thanks for your persistence and patience. Any mistakes found are mine. On with the show._

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**Rory POV ––**

"Where is she?" Haymitch yelled in frustration. "I told her to come back after searching around. She should be back from now." He looked at his wristwatch. It was a gift given to him by his new wife, Effie Trinket. It was silver and expensive. I could tell. After living in District 2 for several months I knew the lifestyle and luxury the district possessed. I was in awe and impressed at the district. Everything was clean, bright and…large. The city was huge with its' tall skyscrapers and moving cars that glistened in the sunlight. But even exposed to the excess and lavish lifestyle, I wish I were back home in 12 now. Life was simple and real. I missed the tall trees and green landscape, the smell of pine and wood. I missed home.

"Calm down, Haymitch," Effie said to him. She stood behind him and rubbed his shoulders.

"Calm down?" he returned in indignation stepping away from her. "She's been gone for more than hour, Effie. She could be lost for wandering off to far. I told her to stick close by. She never listens to me." He ranted then stopped.

"You're not her father or former mentor," Effie snorted at him.

"No, but I would to think that after all this time, I'm her friend," Haymitch sighed. I knew he was already frustrated and scared for Peeta and Katniss. I still couldn't figure out what happened. Delly and her boyfriend, I mean her ex-fiancé was outside lying against a large tree trunk. The surrounding areas reminded me of home, District 12. Delly was right, Bron woke up in pain from being tossed around from the crash. She immediately gave him morphine to lessen his pain and he fell back to sleep. I couldn't blame him with casts on both leg and right arm, he felt useless.

As for me, my head hurt from landing headfirst and I'm sore all over. I winced from the sun that edged the horizon lighting the dark forest that surrounded us. I sighed and felt my stomach rumbled from hunger. Before the crash, I dreamt of Prim, remembering the short time we had together at Districts 12 and 13. While Katniss had been away both times, I promised myself to watch over her as best I could. We were friends and playmates while growing up together. It wasn't just Katniss and Gale who bonded when ours fathers passed away. I miss her. I never realized how much until I went to 12 to visit mom. The sudden thoughts of mom and my family made me homesick.

"She can take care of herself, Haymitch," Effie reminded him. "So can Peeta and Katniss for that matter." He closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. Effie looked cool and calm. Minutes passed, I turned and aimed my rifle from a sound to my left. It was Johanna.

"Where the hell have you been?" Haymitch screamed at her. She walked over and removed a large packet from her back. It was an emergency supply kit with water and food rations. "Where did––"

She tossed us a water and snack ration. "Eat, because this is all we have until we get rescued. There's a relay station northeast about three miles away from the railway tracks," she explained. "I 'borrowed' their supplies."

"How did you know it was there?" Effie asked as she ripped open a bottle of water. From out of the wreckage, she had collected our clothing. She pulled out a towel from her stack. She then poured water on the towel so she could wipe her face, neck and hands. _'That's a waste of water,' _I said to myself. I'll never understand women and their grooming habits. She looked fine to me. Johanna's voice disrupted my thoughts.

"I didn't but I took a chance. I didn't know where we were but thought I'd track my way towards the direction of the sun and see where it led me."

"That was a huge risk to take," Haymitch said impressed but also angry at the risk she took on her own. "You could have gotten lost."

"I was raised in District 7, Haymitch," she told him. "It may not be 7 but I know how to traverse through the woods and scavenge around without getting lost."

"I don't care," he barked at her. "We stick together."

"I'm worried about Peeta and Katniss," she explained herself as she ignored his ire and shrugged her shoulders.

"We all are. We stay together, Johanna. I need you to help me keep everyone here safe." They stood eye-to-eye and toe-to-toe, challenging each other. Even with her diminutive figure she didn't back down or be intimidated by him.

"And what about Peeta and Katniss?" Delly asked. She had been quiet throughout the discussion until now watching over Bron.

"They've been through worse," Haymitch sounded disconnecting this staring contest with Johanna. "I hope they're together. And if they are, they can take care of each other." He sounded hopeful.

"Do you know what happened?" Johanna asked. She criss-crossed her arms in front of her chest. It was difficult to believe that she was my superior. Not that I had anything against working with her. Most of boot camp trainers were women. She just felt more imposing then the others I met and worked with. This is Johanna Mason, a celebrated Victor from District 7. Her status and reputation made her allusive, intimidating and she was very hot.

"As I can tell, the dining compartment was detached from the rest of the train with some kind of explosive," Haymitch surmised. "It wasn't some coupling malfunction. It wouldn't have rocked and exploded like that detaching and causing that kind of damage to the compartments."

"But the rest of the train was still in motion after the explosion?" Effie asked.

"The lead engine, kitchen/dining and living compartments must still be intact considering that we were left behind," I added. "The epicenter of the explosion was at the end of the compartment ensuring the coupling was severed." Haymitch explained. "I just hope Peeta and Katniss are okay. I mean, what we're they doing out of bed so early in the morning?'

"I don't know," Effie answered. "I think around midnight, they went to the kitchen to get a midnight snack."

"But it was around 5 when the train was hit. They should have been in their compartment asleep like the rest of us," Delly said. "What were they doing?"

"Doesn't matter now, they're missing and that is what concerns me," Haymitch voiced with apprehension.

"Okay, we know that there was an explosion. My next question is why and who?" Johanna added.

"We know who, Johanna. That's not a mystery," Haymitch returned. "What I want to know is how 'he' knew and how he was able to sabotage the train." He turned to look at me. All eyes turned to me. I gulped as I recalled my last conversation with my mom before I left the Capitol.

* * *

_**Flashback –– hours before departing the Capitol**_

"_So pack up kid," Johanna ordered. She appeared out of nowhere. I took a short nap right after we arrived from the hospital. I had a difficult time looking at her after her strip tease at the hospital. "We're going home today." The news distracted me from my thoughts of her strip tease._

"_Home. Back to District 12?" She nodded. "Haymitch is taking care of our transportation. So, you need to be packed. We're leaving right away once we hear from him." Without any hesitation I had my things packed within minutes. It wasn't as if I had a lot to pack. The typical Guardsmen duffel bag held an extra uniform, toiletries, socks and a mini kit with a spoon and fork and a receiver. I had no idea what to do with my time so I called mom. I knew that as Peeta's security detail I was ordered radio silence, but I couldn't resist calling home ever since I accepted or rather was assigned to his protection detail._

_After the third ring, mom answered the phone. "Mom, I'm coming home. I'll be leaving the Capitol tonight."_

"_It's good to hear from you, Rory. That's wonderful news," she sighed on the phone, relief apparent on her tone of voice. "Have you heard from your brother? I've been trying to get a hold of him since we last talked." She knew my recent assignment was a security detail, but I never told whom I was protecting. And, that I was protecting Peeta from my own brother. It would break heart if she knew. "Ever since he was suspended he hasn't been answering my calls. I'm really worried about him."_

"_I haven't heart from him, mom. I've been busy with work," I couldn't lie to her so I gave her half-truths._

_How I could I tell her that I did hear from him and his reaction was to assault me? How could I tell my mother that Gale has gone off the deep end? His status thought not publicly known was that he was now a suspected terrorist and had attempted to kill the next Commander Officer of the Guardsmen but also beloved Peeta Mellark, one of Panem's historical figures from the Panem Games. My brother who was hailed a hero was now an assassin and killer and obsessing over Katniss Everdeen, who he fought beside in the rebellion._

_His downfall and deterioration would kill her and destroy our family name. My brother, Vic and my sister, Posy's reputation would be tainted with his humiliation. How can my family come back from this? "If I hear from him, I'll tell Gale to call you mom."_

"_I know he's hurting and after losing Katniss––"_

"_That's the problem, mom. He never had Katniss. She never felt for him the way she felt for Mellark." My anger surfaced. Gale's obsession with Katniss was his undoing and he was taking us with him. "He's acting as if he's the only person that lost someone. We all lost someone."_

"_Rory––"_

"_I'm sorry but I can't feel any sympathy for him. He should grow up and be thankful for what's he's given and still has." Us, he still had us and we weren't enough. Damn Gale. I couldn't understand his attraction to Katniss. She was surly, moody, and rigid. She was the complete opposite of Prim. But then again, Gale was exactly like Katniss. They fought and acted like brother and sister. Ugh, how gross. "Anyway, I got to go, mom. I just wanted you to know that I'm coming home and will be there soon."_

"_Okay, Rory. Please take care of yourself and if you see or hear from your brother, tell him to call me." I sighed because I knew that I couldn't and wouldn't speak to him._

_From the background I heard Posy, "Mom, is that Rory? Can I talk to him?" Her voice made me miss home. "He's working sweetie."_

"_I just want to say hi, please can I talk to him," she pleaded._

"_Okay but just for a minute."_

"_Rory, it's me Posy," she yelled on the phone. I laughed at her exuberance. _

"_Hey, chipmunk," I asked back. "You miss me?"_

"_I miss you, Rory. When are you coming to visit? I want to show you my new room I have by myself…" My six year old little sister spoke fast about school and the friends she made at 12. I listened for two minutes until my mother took the phone away._

"_Tell Vic and Posy, I'll be home soon," I told my mother. "And, yes, I'll tell Gale to call if I hear from him." After I hung up the phone, I felt a weight on my chest. It was bittersweet for me to go home and face my mother and siblings. I'm on my way home to break my mother's heart and shatter our family._

_**End of flashback ––**_

* * *

"Rory?" Haymitch spoke.

"I'm sorry," I said, my eyes downcast.

"What did you do Hawthorne?" Johanna questioned me as she took a step forward. Haymitch placed a hand in front of her.

"I made a call––"

"You what?" Johanna bellowed.

"I talked to my mother," I mumbled. "I told her I was coming home."

"When?" Haymitch asked. He was exasperated and losing patience.

"Before we left the Capitol." I answered back and winced. He closed his eyes and shook his head in disbelief.

"You're supposed to be on radio silence. Do you not know what that means?" Johanna seethed in anger. "You might as well have told Gale where we were going while you're at it. This is so fucking unbelievable."

"I'm sorry…I…wanted to let me mom…that I was coming home."

"To 12 to do you job not have a family reunion," she continued. "Are all you Hawthornes thick in the head? Oh my God, Haymitch I told you it was a mistake to keep him for Peeta's detail." She ranted for several seconds cursing my family, especially Gale.

"I'm sorry," I said again. "My mom doesn't even know where Gale is. How do we know that he did this?" Johanna's eyes grew large and I could have sworn steam rose from her ears. Her brows furrowed while she gritted her teeth.

"Unbelievable," she said. "I gave you a direct order. Do not call home. Do not call anyone. You are on an assignment. It may not be as glamorous as protecting Paylor, but all you had to do was watch Peeta. Protect him from your crazy brother."

"Johanna," Delly interrupted her. "He's sorry. Besides, he can't help if his brother is an asshole."

"Delly!" Effie scolded her. "Watch your language."

"Well, he is and he's the only person responsible for our predicament," Delly retorted. "And he is an asshole for stalking Peeta. I wished he beat the shit out of Gale when he had the chance."

"Enough," Haymitch demanded. "So what did you say to your mother, Rory?" I relayed my conversation verbatim. "Well, somehow he managed to find out we were all leaving on the train heading back to 12."

"So what are we going to do, Haymitch?" Effie asked him.

"Well, our next stop was District 5 around noon. So I guess if the train doesn't arrive on time they'll send someone to investigate."

"The conductor should have already sent for help. He's got to know that there was an accident," Delly said.

"This is a private train," Haymitch explained. "It's monitored remotely to provide privacy for the passengers."

"Meaning," Johanna inquired.

"There is only one engineer to remotely pilot this train. I didn't ask for a cook or attendant. It's a private liner and stops remotely at Districts 5, 9 and 11 for refueling and for replenishing supplies. And…" He stopped.

"What else Haymitch? What is it you're not telling us?" Delly asked. Bron moaned in his sleep. She walked over to check up on him.

"This particular train is on a private and newly developed railways system," Effie continued. "No commercial trains can use them." She sighed. "Only a few and extremely privileged citizens are allowed to use this particular train and route. The only exception is the new Guardsmen who takes this route from district to district. Haymitch was only able to get it fast because it's Paylor private train. She let us use it because of Peeta and Katniss."

"Wow," I said. I was impressed, but not surprised. Only Paylor would let the Star Crossed Lovers of District 12 travel home in such luxury if not by hovercraft. I felt sick to my stomach. My call home may have alerted Gale of our plans. I put Peet in danger. It was my fault.

"And somehow your brother knew we were leaving on this train." Haymitch added. I disappointed both Johanna and him. I failed. In my desire to alert my family of my homecoming I've endangered everyone by one simple phone call.

"It's a moot point," Effie said. "We need to think of what to do next. We can't stay here. Bron probably need medical attention." I stared back at Bron. He looked pale. Sheesh, he was pale to begin with like most Capitolites and District 1 citizens.

"We need to do something, Haymitch," Johanna interjected. "They might be hurt or worse…"

"Don't think like that Johanna," Delly punctuated each word. "You can't give up yet. Peeta wouldn't if we were in his position. They're survived worse than this." Johanna nodded her in agreement.

Hours later help arrived in the means of a hovercraft. The rescue team transferred us to District 4. Bron was then transported to the nearest hospital with Delly by his side. After a quick shower and late lunch, Effie, Haymitch and Johanna stayed to help look for Peeta and Katniss. He debated on telling President Paylor of our predicament.

"She's never going to let me borrow anything from her again," he quipped. "First the hovercraft and now her personal transport."

"It's not your fault, Haymitch," his wife comforted him.

"We really need to get this Gale business over with," Johanna scoffed. "I'm sick and tired of him hounding Peeta. He needs to be stopped once and for all." It was obvious what she had in mind. I hope that it wouldn't come to that.

Delly returned from the hospital tired but alert. "How is he?" Johanna asked as she watched her friend dropped onto a large sofa.

"He's asleep but doing well. He'll have to stay at the hospital for a couple of days. The medical staff kicked me out since there wasn't anything I could do. And since I'm not related to him or his girlfriend, I couldn't stay." She looked sad and weary.

"Why don't you lie down for a while and give baby Cartwright a rest," Effie sounded. "You look beat."

"No, I couldn't sleep if I wanted to. I'm too worried about Peeta and Katniss," she said. "I have to be here. I have to know what's going on." I stared at the people before me. They all were from different districts and classes, yet they bonded and formed a strong and solid family. The love and support was evident in how they felt for each other. I envied them.

The engineer assigned to the train informed Haymitch that he lost connection to the train. That's how they new that something had gone awry. The only conclusion was that it was deviated to another path. A path was that traveled 40 miles deep into the forest of District 3. It stopped at the end of the railway track at a specified location in the forest. I flinched since I knew of that location.

"What's wrong, Rory?" Haymitch asked.

"I know where it's stopped," I answered back. "It's a camp was where I was trained for several months."

I hated those six months. When I first arrived, I was in awe by the splendor of the tall trees and surrounding foliage reminding me of District 12. However, I grew to resent and hate it. The hours and days I spent there were grueling and punishing. Reveille started our day at five, breakfast, lunch and dinner by five in the evening. The lights were out by 9 with no exception. Then the next day, the same scheduled was repeated. Between the hours of breakfast and dinner were a five-mile run in the forest, exercises consisting of pushups, pull-ups and sit-ups ending with a timed three-mile run. Then hours of target practice in the gun range and small war scrimmages. At bedtime, it was difficult to sleep with 20 strangers who snored like a train that kept me up most of the night. However, as training went on for a couple of weeks, I was too tired to notice or care.

On his first agenda, Haymitch pulled out a datapad to locate Katniss. "I hope she still had her necklace on. But knowing her she probably took it off." On the pad there wasn't a light red dot. "I don't know if she took it off and it got damaged after the accident." It wasn't a good sign.

"At least we know where the train was headed," Johanna commented. "Too bad Kara took off Peeta's wristband. We can't tell if Peeta is with her. This doesn't mean they're together." She appeared scared and frustrated. "I need to go and get them." She told Haymitch. She opted of wearing normal clothing instead of her Guardsmen uniform. Either way she looked hot regardless what she wore.

"Don't do something stupid, Mason," Haymitch voiced. He looked and sounded tired. We all were but the need to find Peeta and Katniss outweighed the need for sleep. Fear was their drive and motivation. "I don't need you to be half cocked and reckless. Besides, we'll go look for them together."

"You can't go Haymitch, you just got married," Johanna reminded him. "You need to stay here incase you hear from Peeta and Katniss. And, Gale is unpredictable. He can go after anyone who got in his way." She tossed her head to my direction and pointed at me. "Even his own brother is in danger. He had to have known he was in the train with us."

I wanted to argue back that's she was wrong. Gale would never hurt me but considering how he treated me at the hospital. I knew she was right. He knew I was with them.

Haymitch stayed quiet realizing she was right. Someone had to stay behind incase Peeta or Katniss needed help. And Bron, Delly and Effie were vulnerable to Gale's attack if left unguarded. He also had to stay behind to coordinate a rescue.

"I want to go with you to find Katniss and Peeta," I volunteered.

"And why should we trust you, Hawthorne," Johanna scoffed. "You're part of the reason why we're in this mess." I dropped my chin to my chest from shame and guilt.

"Don't get mad at him, Johanna," Haymitch said with compassion. "Gale is his brother. If Peeta asked you to do something for him, you'd do it in a heartbeat."

Johanna turned to him with fire in her eyes. "You're damn right I would, but Peeta would never ask me to do what Gale asked him to do. He's old enough to know the difference between right from wrong."

"I want to make up for what I done to Peeta," I said. "And for Katniss. If Prim was alive she would be ashamed of what it did." I took a deep breath. "Please let me help you. I want to help you."

"I don't trust him, Haymitch," she said. I may not know Johanna but her saying she didn't trust me hurt.

"Yeah, I understand that but he's all you got. We have no one to turn to," Haymitch said in resignation. "And if I'm staying here with Effie and Delly, you need help. Someone to watch your back."

She turned and stepped in front of me looking up. Jabbing her finger on my chest, she said, "You will do what I say. No questions ask. Do you understand me?" I nodded my head. "And I find out you're not to be trusted, I will personally use my best friend on your head." She patted her knife on her waist. She was serious and I knew not to contradict her or convince her of my loyalty. I had to prove to myself that I have the strength to do what's needed to be done.

"Commander Mason, I know that I made a big mistake," I acknowledged. "I am Rory Hawthorne. I am my own person. Gale is my brother and I looked up to him. But he hasn't been the same since the war ended. I can't trust him to hurt anyone, especially my family." I stopped for a moment. "You don't know me and I know that trust is something I have to earn with you, with everyone."

"You get one chance with me," Johanna threatened. She turned around. "Come on, kid. We need to go now. Haymitch, I'll call when I have more news." He nodded his head.

"Stay safe, Johanna," Haymitch uttered as he watched us leave the room.

* * *

**Katniss POV ––**

Earlier that morning

I'm wide-awake warm and comfortable. Normally the sound of the train lulled me to sleep especially with Peeta's arms around me. I couldn't understand why I was anxious. We were on our way home back to District 12. My mind couldn't settle down as images of Peeta's treatment haunted me. They flashed in my mind over and over. Kara said that the worse photos would be used in the next session. She didn't want to traumatize him early in his treatment. Peeta needed to be eased into the images while he recovered from the first series. I winced realizing that the worse was yet to come, but I swore to myself that I would be beside him every step of the way. This was what I should have done back in 13 during his recovery. To have stood by him and not run off and abandon him and deal with his memories alone.

I shifted my body closer to Peeta's warm body. The AC hummed in the air. After many nights of sleeping with Peeta I couldn't sleep without him. Now that I knew what it's like to be held and loved by him. I even adjusted to sleeping with the AC or the windows wide open. I thought back to the weeks we spent on the train during the Victory Tour. I recalled the nights I spent with his arms around me, giving me comfort and peace. Those were the only times I slept without a nightmare. I used him.

I cringed at the memories of waking up and slipping out his arms leaving him to wake up alone in my bed. It was selfish, but I did it repeatedly night after night. At breakfast, we went on our day as if nothing happened the night before. He never spoke or talked about it. I gave him crumbs of myself during those weeks. Sighing, I wished that I could go back in time and re-do…many things that I had done, decisions I wished to remake. But it was pointless. I could never get those times back to do over. Just a couple of hour ago, he comforted me in my moment of guilt and shame for my behavior in our last train ride to and from the Capitol.

"Concentrate on the moments we have now, Katniss. We belong to each other now," Peeta said to me as I asked for his forgiveness of my horrible treatment to him. "Looking back will only eat you alive and in misery. We're happy now." Then proceeded to make love to me until we're both exhausted and sated.

'_I must have tired him out,'_ I proudly announced to myself as I felt his chest move beneath my head. I slipped my hand underneath his t-shirt feeling his strong, sculpted stomach muscles. He wore my favorite light blue t-shirt that matched his eyes and a pair of black boxers shorts. He continued to sleep while I rubbed my hands in circles on his belly. I raised my head to stare at him. There was a frown on his brows and movement beneath his eyelids. It was a sign that he was having a nightmare. He whimpered and scrunched his face in fear.

"Peeta, wake up," I said to him while I placed a hand on his cheek in comfort. "Peeta, you're okay. You're safe." He sat upright breathing hard through his mouth.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I didn't mean to wake you up."

"You didn't. I was awake already."

He leaned down and covered my body as he laid his head on my chest. Heaving through his mouth, I felt him try to relax and even out his breathing. "Do you want to talk about it?" He shook his head.

"No, I just want to lie here with you." For a few minutes, I rubbed the back of his neck. When Kara proclaimed that he no longer needed to wear the bracelet, he panicked. It took several moments of encouragement for Peeta to accept that he was capable of living without it. He readily disagreed. Kara insisted that he not use it as a crutch since she had great faith and trust in his ability to control his episodes. He relented. After returning into our compartment to sleep, he announced that he was sleeping in the living area. Not trusting himself to sleep beside me. We argued for several minutes. In the end I won.

"What time is it?" he asked in midst of a yawn.

"I think it's around midnight," I answered him. His left leg straddled between mine. It was intimate and comforting feeling all of him.

I remembered the last round of our lovemaking hours before. Peeta left his fake leg on while I straddled him. Riding him was a position that I still felt uncomfortable to do. I was exposed for him to see all my scars and blemishes. But when I looked into his eyes, he made me feel the most beautiful girl in the world. His blue orbs caressed my skin memorizing every inch of me.

"I love seeing you like this," he said as his blue eyes watched my breasts bounce with each downward and upward thrust over his length. His hands held onto my waist while I placed my hands on his shoulder to anchor me. My nails dug into his shoulders leaving half moon marks on his pale skin.

"Just let go Katniss and I'll be there to catch you." I gasped when he wrapped his mouth around my nipple. Then groaned in disappointment when I felt the cool air hit my erect bud. I looked to do find him watching himself disappearing inside me.

He was so embedded inside me I couldn't feel where he started and where I ended. It was one of his favorite positions since we started our new level of intimacy. He loved watching me become undone while I rode myself to completion. Learning the way my body reacted, he pulled my face down and kissed me hard just in time to smother the scream that tore through my mouth. We knew Haymitch and Effie were next to us. I was reluctant at first when he reached out to me, kissing my lips, neck and breast as his hand reached down to pull my panties off me. But, my need for him overtook my sense of propriety.

Lethargic but still stimulated, he placed me beneath him and situated himself between my legs. One thrust and I was on another verge of coming. It was difficult to contain the moans while he thrust inside me one last time before bringing forth his own pleasure as well as my own.

His last words to me were, "I love you, Katniss Everdeen." He fell asleep on his side facing me while clutching my waist tightly against him.

"I love you more, Peeta Mellark."

* * *

So hours later and finding myself awake, I was glad to comfort him for once. After a few minutes of holding him in arms, I told him, "Peeta, many nights you held me after a nightmare. You gave me so much comfort and not receiving or asking for anything in return. Talk to me."

"It's nothing, Katniss," he sighed. "It's nothing new that you don't know about." I thought back to his admission the first time he confessed about his nightmares. _'My nightmares are usually about losing you. I'm okay once I realize you're here.'_

"You're never going to lose me, ever," I swore to him. Then, a funny thing happened. My stomach growled. Loud. It was embarrassing. Peeta smiled.

"Katniss? Was that your stomach?"

"Sorry, I guess I didn't eat enough during dinner," I said. "Just ignore it." Seconds later, again my stomach growled louder than the first time. Peeta sat up suddenly with a look of concern on his face. "Peeta?" He turned his back on me and sat at the edge of bed. The next thing I knew I heard the click from prosthetic leg. "What are you doing?"

"Get up, we're going to the kitchen."

"Now?"

"I'm going to feed my girlfriend who's been up all this time," he said. "Besides, I can't go back to sleep either." I wanted to suggest another way to relax and go back to sleep but he was already by the doorway with his hand extended towards me. Shrugging my shoulders, I got off the bed and took his hand.

Effie surprised us when she opened the door to her room. She gave Peeta and I a funny look when we told her we were on the way to kitchen for a midnight snack. She looked at our attire from head to toe. I blushed when I realized I was wearing one of Peeta's shorts and t-shirt. With a tug, Peeta held my hand as we walked into the kitchen.

"I don't think they have any more of the roast beef I made for dinner," he said as he poked his head inside a steel icebox. "Rory ate the rest of it, I think."

"I'm not surprised. When I first saw him I didn't recognize him since he grew so tall," I told him while I sat on a stool looking at his back. "I think he also ate all the dessert." He removed three items from the icebox that were wrapped in white paper. For a couple of minutes I watched Peeta make me a ham and cheese sandwich. Like everything he did with it came to food, he prepared my meal with care and precision as he sliced two pieces of bread and the ham into thin even slices. For garnish he added cheese that he lightly melted on the bread on a flat grill. When he was satisfied with the temperature and consistency, he plated my sandwich and added a small dollop of white and yellow sauce. It smelled divine causing my mouth to water. He pulled out a bottle of water from the icebox.

"Let's go to the dining room."

"Aren't you going to make one for yourself?" I asked him. He shook his head while he walked to the next room with me close behind him. "This is just for you." He sat next to me while I wolfed down my sandwich. "Thank you. It was delicious."

"You're welcome." He smiled. He loved doing little things for me like preparing a simple sandwich in the middle of the night.

"You always know how to take good care of me." I leaned over and kissed him in gratitude.

"It's what we do. We take care and protect each other. We should probably stay up for a while since it's not a good idea to lay down right after eating." I agreed as we snuggled together next to a window while we watched the scenery pass us. My eyes felt heavy after of hour of snuggling. Without any hesitation or words between us, he took my hand and led us back to our bed.

Hours later, I am awakened when I felt him sit up on the bed. It was still dark outside and I couldn't tell what time it was. "Peeta, are you okay?" I asked as I wiped my eyes with my hand from sleep.

"Go back to sleep." He was reattaching his prosthetic leg on his limb. Then, he walked over and pulled up a pair of brown corduroy and a long sleeve shirt over his head. The air was chilly but not biting cold.

"Where are you going? It's not even time to wake up yet?" I sat up wrapping a blanket around me to stave off the cool air in the compartment. "Did you have another bad dream?" I hoped not. He needed sleep since I had interrupted him hours before.

"I can't go back to sleep anymore." He sat down next to me as he continued to put on a pair of socks and shoes. He kissed my forehead. "I'm going to the kitchen and start making some bread for breakfast. I'm going to make Cheese Buns." I debated as to whether I should stay back in bed without him or join him. "It's okay. Go back to sleep."

I ignored him.

I couldn't help but feel anxious sleeping without him. Every time he left my side, something horrible happened to him. I'm still nervous and felt unsettled whenever he left my sight. So I stood up and dressed to join him. "I'm not going to be able to sleep all by myself. I'm going with you." He knew not to argue with me.

Watching him in the kitchen making bread was a complete turn on. The muscles on his forearms were lean and strong with a brush of golden blond hair peppering his skin. He had a complete look of concentration on his face. The same look he had whenever we're together alone or in public. "I need for this to rise for an hour," explained as he dropped cheesecloth over the dough. "I'll start working on some cheese rolls." They were his favorite whether it was breakfast or an afternoon snack.

"Why don't you go back to bed, Katniss?" I stood up and wrapped my arms round his waist from behind as I kissed his neck. "Katniss, you know that drives me crazy when you do that? I can't concentrate."

"Sorry?" I giggled. I knew I was clingy and hovered over him, but my need for this kind of intimacy and connection was new to me. I never felt this kind of connection with anyone other than my family. With Peeta, it was gave me a sense of belonging and security I never wanted to depend on. I felt secure in his arms. He turned around quickly. His sticky hands grabbed my waist lifting my feet of the ground. I wrapped my legs around his waist. When his lips touched mine, I moaned in pleasure grinding my lower half onto his lower belly. The kiss was intense, needy and desperate as I grabbed his head with both hands angling my own to receive his tongue into my mouth.

After a few seconds or was it minutes later, he placed me on a high metallic stool. Our foreheads pressed together, we stole the air between us in huge gulps. "You need to stay right there and not distract me," he chided me in playful manner. "Once I'm done I'm all yours to do as you please." He smirked, his eyes twinkled in amusement as I jutted my lower lip in protest. He winked back.

I pouted back in return as he walked off to finish his task. Not wanting to feel useless and so codependent, I put myself up to task by grinding coffee beans and sliced several fruits for our morning meal. It felt right and natural working alongside him. I looked forward to our mundane lives to begin back in 12 if this was a preview of our life together. Suddenly, the train lurched for a second. I almost nicked my finger with the knife in my hand.

"What was that?" I said. I dropped my knife on the table and peeked out from one of the windows. Peeta stepped besides me placing a hand on my lower back. "That never happened before."

"Yeah, felt like the train hiccuped or something." Half an hour later it was close to dawn. The bread and buns were placed inside a metallic container. It kept the bread warm without over baking it. The aroma of cheese and bread filled the air. I was about to suggest to Peeta to return back to bed for a couple of hours when the train lurched again. But this time, the motion caused me to lose my footing. Peeta had managed to grab me by the waist while his other hand held onto a metallic shelf that was soldered on the steel floor. All the contents of the shelf spilled on the ground as everything was displaced. The sound of metal tearing echoed in the air. It felt like an earthquake as it shook us in our place. I quickly grabbed onto Peeta waist for support and out of fear.

The kitchen rocked back and forth, swaying us with its' momentum. I was afraid of it derailing from the tracks. The motion went on for a couple of minutes. When rocking motioned ceased, the room was a mess. Supplies, dinnerware, flatware and cookery littered the floor. Every metallic container filled with flour, sugar and other ingredients covered the ground. I was surprised that the long metallic prep table hadn't shifted from its spot. I realized that all the legs were welded on the floor.

"Oh my God, Peeta. What happened?" I asked him when the turbulence finally settled down.

"I think it was an earthquake." He rubbed his hands up and down my arms in comfort as I trembled before him. The quake shook us. "We should check up on everyone and make sure they're okay." He took my hand and led to the next compartment. I flinched as wind hit my face and the dark night greeted us. The last three compartments were gone. The train coupling mechanism was mangled and torn. Something had detached the train's compartments from the living space to the bedroom compartments. I gasped and placed a hand over my mouth. There was little visibility but of the tracks beneath us. It was too dark to see beyond the horizon.

Behind us the miles stretched in distance away from the people we loved. "Peeta, what are we going to do?" I looked besides me to find him gone. He passed the kitchen and headed toward the engine. I caught up to him just as he opened the door to the conductor/engine room. It was empty. We entered the room in fear looking the console. On the screen was a map to where the train was headed. "Look for a radio so we can contact someone," Peeta instructed. We searched to the communication controls. Each display button was not functioning.

Suddenly, the video monitor lit up displaying the train's company logo, Capitol Express Luna 1. "Hello, guests. Welcome for choosing Capitol Express as your means of transportation to your destination. While we are pleased for choosing us, we will endeavor to make you stay as comfortable and memorable."

Peeta snorted. "This is more than memorable." The video continued for several seconds explaining the trains' functions, accommodations and luxuries it provided. Then, it abruptly stopped in midst of the dialogue to display Gale Hawthorne's face. Peeta and I gasped in shock not just because of his presence on the screen, but also because of Gale's appearance. His hair was longer than usual and he sported a full beard. The familiar grey steel eyes were bloodshot and he had bags below them. He was drawn and haggard looking.

"The odds must be in our favor," he smirked.

"Hawthorne," Peeta greeted him. "I see living in the District 2 has been kind to you." His face was neutral showing no emotion, but I saw his clenched hands beside him.

"I lost everything because of you," he seethed in anger. "You took everything away from me. My brother, my job and most of all, Katniss."

"You never had me," I interrupted him. "I never wanted you the way I wanted Peeta." I took his hand in mine feeling him tremble. "How many more times do I have to tell you that we are never going to be together."

"That's not what you felt back in District 13," he reminded me. He had a twinkle in his eyes as if he had a secret to tell. Peeta closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"Shut the fuck up, Gale Hawthorne," I returned. "I was confused and lonely. Nothing happened between us besides a few unmemorable kisses. I was in the middle of a war. But this isn't about that anymore. You're going after Peeta who has done nothing to you."

"Wrong. Ever since the reaping…the first arena, you changed. He changed you." He was right. Peeta changed me. Then, I realized he was wrong.

"You're wrong, he didn't change me. He opened my eyes and my heart to things I was ready to deny or want. I didn't want to love anyone but I loved him…he was already there since we were 11." The day he threw the bread on that rainy day. He crept into my heart just as Annie did to Finnick.

"You're lying––"

"I love him…I'll always love him. You and I were never going to happen." I pulled Peeta's hand and grasped it to my chest with both hands.

"Stop lying to yourself you're only with him because I killed Prim––" I closed my eyes and held my breath. "That was an accident. I didn't know she was there." The thought of Prim was still heavy in my heart. I couldn't never forget her. She was a part of me.

"Katniss, don't let him get to you," Peeta comforted me. His eyes were soft and yielding. "He's baiting you." He brought Prim up to distract and destroy me. My life now is all about my future, my future with Peeta. I had to let that anger and despair go if I wanted to move forward with my Boy with the Bread.

"No, I forgave you a long time ago. I don't want you or love you, Gale. Peeta is all I ever want and even if…he didn't want me back. I would still love him. You and I would have never happened."

"No. You and that…piece of shit will never happen. I don't care if he had you…took what was rightfully mine."

"You don't own her, Gale," Peeta interjected. "She's not an object to fight over like some prize."

"You can talk since you fucked her," he sneered. "You let him touch you…like that. It's sick and disgusting."

"Who are you to talk about my relationship with Peeta? What he and I do together is none of your business." I roared back. "He loves me and I love him back. He has every right to make love to me. I'm his girlfriend."

"Stop saying that." Gale shook his head, his lip in a thin line distorting his once handsome face. How could I have not seen or known this side of him earlier? "What he does to you is sick and…" Suddenly, on two other screens displayed Peeta and I in bed in our compartment. We're both naked with Peeta is on top of me, my legs on top of his shoulders. He's propped on his elbows while he trusting hard and slow inside me. I'm containing my moans into his mouth. It's erotic watching us. However, I gasped in shock and anger.

"What the fuck, Gale," I shouted at the screen. He sneered back. I'm disgusted that our privacy was violated. "Why would you––"

"Look at him with his fake leg. All his scars and one leg. It's sickening how you let him inside you. He's half the man–– "

"Turn that off, Gale," Peeta bellowed beside me. "You sick bastard––"

"Why would you tape us?" I asked. My anger and frustration tripled. "You're the sick one watching us like that."

"Aw, Catnip. Your embarrassed that you're letting that animal touch you like that?" I narrowed my eyes wondering why he wanted to tape us. "Cause you know, I bet there's a lot of people out there willing to buy this video from me. I could make a whole lot of money now that I lost my job because of him." Oh, blackmail and extortion. That was his game, but I knew it was more than that.

"What do you want?"

"You're going to come back to me," he said so soft as if he was the Gale I remembered. "Come back to me and no one will ever see this tape."

"So, I go _'back'_ to you and you'll what…never let me see Peeta again?" He nodded his head. Peeta's head turned to me.

"We, you and I, we can be great together. You just haven't given me a chance to prove to you just how much I love you." He smiled wide and child-like as if he was receiving his birthday present. "We can have a great life together anywhere you want." I guess he never knew my exile and conditions in order to live rest of my life in District 12. "We can live anywhere you want and I'll give you whatever you need and desire." His offer sickened me.

"And if I don't."

"I'll sell this to the highest bidder and I'll haunt you and Peeta for the rest of your life." He pressed a button on his console. "And make no mistake I will end his life, but if you come to me I'll spare him to live his life back in 12."

Without a moment's hesitation I answered back, "No, go ahead and sell the tape."

"I'll do it, Catnip––"

"Stop calling me that?" I howled. I was no longer that bitter and jaded girl he once knew and loved. "That person died in the games."

"No, she's still there." He was convinced that I was still that girl he loved. God, I hoped not. I never want to be that person ever again. "You just have to leave him and she'll come back to me."

"Never. I'll never be that person again. I don't want to," I said with finality.

"Katniss, what about the video," Peeta asked.

"I don't care. Let him sell it," I said with such vehemence. "I'm not going to sacrifice everything we have now."

"Katniss, everyone will see us making love and they'll know––"

"That we love each other and there is nothing wrong with us being together like that. I love you and you love me. It's there in everything we do to each other."

"I'll do it," Gale swore. "I'll embarrass and humiliate you. Every person in Panem will see what a whore you are."

"Go ahead. Sell it, I dare you," I returned his challenge. "Then Panem will see that I love Peeta and everything we do together is based on mutual love and desire."

"You don't love him, damnit," Gale argued back. I turned to the screen watching two lovers together in the midst of pleasure and lust.

"I love Peeta," I spoke while staring into the video. "Everyone will see him as the lover I want in my bed." My moans were low but true as desire was evident on my face. "They'll see him…watch him make love to me…making me moan and plead for more. Taking me with each thrust. I'm not a whore. I'm a woman in love with my man. You can never take that away from me…from us."

"Stop, stop. You're wrong. It's sick and disgusting––"

"Look at the video and tell me how disgusted I was as Peeta takes over and over with his love and desire for me." On the video, my image moaned low as I watched her stiffen in pleasure. I relived that moment in my mind experiencing the most sweetest and hardest orgasm last night. "Go ahead for there is nothing wrong with Peeta loving me. All of Panem will see what a wonderful and generous lover he is." Video Peeta continued to pump inside my image holding off his pleasure to ensure I receive another one. The muscle on his back contradicted with each thrust of his hips. My image whispered his name over and over, telling him to not stop and fuck me faster. My breasts bounce with each move while Peeta stared at my globes mesmerized as it jingled in front of him. My head is thrown back arching my back in a sharp angle as I closed my eye in agonizing bliss. I was drawn to our display of love and lust. We were beautiful together for there was nothing shameful in our desire for one another.

I looked at Gale as his face turned hard and angry. "So go ahead, Hawthorne. Sell it. I'll come back with an interview with Caesar Flickerman and tell the world that it was you who violated her privacy. That Katniss Everdeen, the most celebrated and most loved woman in Panem; the MockingJay and heroine of Panem was betrayed by her childhood friend. That Gale Hawthorne the mighty hero of the rebellion reduced to selling out his best friend for money," Peeta dared him. "Let's see what happens when they find out you got fired and have been stalking me for months." Gale blanched.

"You can't prove that."

"I have Rory to corroborate the facts and prove that you and Eva Perry abducted and tortured me as well," he added. I wrapped my arms around his waist. Peeta was strong and stood upright but inside I knew he was still fragile in mind from that experience.

"Do your worst, Gale," I said to him. "I'm with Peeta and there is nothing you can do to stop me from loving or wanting him."

"Then I guess…we'll see," he retorted. "By now you have guess that it was me who blew up the dining compartment. I had meant for all of you to be left behind. Imagine my surprise when I discovered that you and Peeta were in the kitchen when I blew up the train."

"What's the point of all this, Hawthorne?"

"Just having the two of you is not much sport, but it will do." Gale shrugged his head. "Let see how if you can survive out here on our own with no sponsors or mentors to guide you."

"What the hell," I screamed. He couldn't be saying what I thought he said.

"Welcome to Hell, may the odds be in your favor," he sneered at us. Then, the video turned off.

"What that hell does that mean?" I asked. Peeta was silent beside me. I knew what he meant but I needed some assurance or confirmation from Peeta.

"He's right. We're alone and have no way to contact anyone for help," Peeta stated. "I'm afraid Gale has us where he wants us."

"Doesn't matter what he wants." I looked around the compartment.

"We need to stop the train," Peeta suggested. I could tell he was trying to hold back the anger and frustration we both felt. Gale. How could we have not figured out this was caused by him. I had assumed that we encountered a mechanical failure.

Both of us stared at the control console. I was afraid to press anything. "Peeta?" I looked at him closely anticipating whether our conversation would trigger him. It didn't. Kara believed in Peeta's ability to control his episodes. I'm so proud of him. But I knew that this couldn't continue much longer. Stress was one factor that could trigger him.

"Let's not talk about…him and find a way to get off this train." His face was stern with a determined look on his face. The same look he had when we were in the arena fighting for our lives against the Capitol's machinations. "I need to focus on us getting out of this death trap."

Peeta pressed a button. Nothing, no response. "Damnit, it's not working." The display read, 'Decelerate Speed.' It controlled the speed limit until it stopped. Next to it the display read, 'Full Stop.' At the moment it displayed a steady 65mph. "The train is on remote," he sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Look, Peeta," I pointed to a map on the console. "I can't tell where we are?" For the next half hour, we looked for some solution to stop the train or find a way to contact anyone. It was futile. I looked ahead to the tracks and all I saw were more trees. It was too risky to jump off the train at our speed. "How much fuel do we have?" I asked.

"Um…I think it's fifteen percent until we're out." Peeta looked down the console. "Maybe we can wait it out. Until it's empty." I didn't do well in math to calculate time and distance until the fuel ran out. Jumping off the train at its' current speed was suicidal. We wouldn't survive the fall without breaking our necks or breaking our body in half if we crashed into a tree.

"Where's the emergency brake," I asked him. "We could just stop the train and wait for help to arrive." We checked at the console again. I pressed the 'Emergency Brake' display. The speed of the train stayed steady at 65mph.

"Where in the middle of nowhere. I guess we wait and we see where it take us." I nodded my head for there was nothing to do. In the meantime, I held his hand for comfort. I was glad that I didn't stay in our compartment like he suggested. He would have been alone.

"We should probably pack some stuff together while we're waiting."

For the next twenty minutes, we packed into a two duffels bag left in the engineering cabin top of the train. It was our luck that we weren't dressed in our sleepwear and wore shoes in the galley. Peeta stuffed several items into one pack while he supplied food/water and a small med kit in the other. He wrapped one lightweight jacket around his waist. I followed suit and tied sweatshirt around my own waist. The air around was chilly and crisp. I couldn't feel the cold as fear and adrenaline fueled my body.

"We need weapons," I said to him. His face was grim but he knew I was right to arm ourselves. If Gale intended to have his own version of the Hunger Games, we knew he would be hunting for us. I wished I had brought my bow and arrow with me. I didn't anticipate the need to bring it. Hindsight is 20/20. Still, I collected a few knives and sharp implements to take with us. With our bundle and packs set we returned to the engineering room and waited.

Ten minutes later, Peeta shouted, "Oh shit." His eyes were wide and his face grew pale.

"What?"

"Look ahead," he said as he pointed ahead of us. In the distance the track stopped at a junction with a platform. At the end was a building. We had maybe 5-6 miles before we crashed into it. "Fuck, where's the emergency brake." He pressed the screen. Again, nothing happened. He looked closely at the panel and skimmed his hand on the flat display. Suddenly, the panel opened to reveal a handle, a hand brake.

"Shit Peeta, how did you know it was there?" He ignored me and pulled the lever towards him. Then, he pressed several button on the console. The board lit up and a siren sounded piercing our ears. The noise was deafening.

The train slowed but not fast enough before we impacted the building. It was going to crash. "Come on." He pulled my hand and led me back to the kitchen. Opening the entryway, he looked around him. The mess and debris still lay on the ground. We traversed the room and stopped at the doorway while picking up the duffels back along the way. The door slide open revealing the landscape passing each mile. "We have to jump. We'll never survive the impact."

"I'm scared," I said to him.

"Me, too. We don't have a choice." He grabbed my hand. "I won't let anything happen to you." I nodded my head. "Trust me."

"Always." It was true then but more so now. I trusted him with my life and now my heart.

We waited until the trained slowed down some more. "There." He pointed at an open field ahead of us. "When I tell you to jump, you jump," he instructed me. "You land, roll and let the momentum take you."

My chest felt as if my heart was about to implode. I couldn't feel my arms or legs. The cold wind passed us, hitting our face. It stung our skin causing our face to turn pinkish. Seconds, later the train slowed. I watched Peeta, his face in deep concentration looking at the ground ahead of us while he gripped my hand tight. I can hear him count 'one, two, three,' over and over. Then he looked at me and said, "I love you." Before I could respond he said, "On the count of three, I want you to jump."

"Peeta, I…"

"One three you jump," he insisted. "Don't think just jump. Trust me."

"What about you?"

"I'll be right behind you, I promise." He kissed me hard. This was too fast. It was happening too fast. I couldn't think straight. "Ready?" I nodded head since words left me speechless. "Remember on three."

I panicked and held my breath as he turned his head and look at the ground again. He picked up one of our bags. "One, two…" He threw the one duffel bag out of the train. "…three." I jumped. The world spun and body impacted the ground. I rolled several feet and stopped flat on my back. I'm spread eagle on the ground facing the sky while I tried to contain the air expelling through my mouth. Once the adrenaline subsided my body ached from neck to toe. I lay there for a minute and calmed myself.

A loud booming sound echoed into the air causing me to sit up just in time to watch the train collide into the platform. "Peeta," I screamed as I stood up on weak and shaky legs. My face was scratched and bruised. "Peeta." I never saw him jump off the train.

"Peeta," I yelled over and over. "Peeta. Where are you?" My stomach lurched and throated ached from screaming his name. "Peeta!"

"Katniss." I sobbed in relief listening to him call out to me. "Katniss."

"Peeta," I screamed again as I turned around looking everywhere. "Peeta!" I yelled once I spotted him. He was limping towards me. I didn't realize I was limping as well needing to touch him. I needed to make sure he was all right and not hurt. I ran towards him. My body crashed into his, my arms around him tight as my leg wrapped around his waist.

"Oomph," he groaned as he landed on his back. "Katniss, Katniss."

"Peeta. Oh my God, oh my God," I repeated. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?" I straddled his waist feeling his chest, neck and head. Blood ran from his cheek. He had scratches all over his face, ears and a large gash on his forehead. Leaves and grass were stuck in his blond hair. He looked disheveled and scared from our ordeal. He never looked more beautiful than at this moment. Tears appeared in my eyes from joy and relief. We survived.

"I'm fine, Katniss. Are you hurt?" He placed both hands on my face as he sat up. "I got so scared when I got up and couldn't find you." His strong arms wrapped around me tight that I could barely breath. I winced in pain but held on to him in return feeling his beating heart against my chest. "Please tell you you're okay?"

"I'm not hurt, Peeta." I lay my head on his shoulder. It felt good having him in my arms again. He rubbed his hands up and down my back. He was more likely making sure I wasn't hurt. Peeta was safe and unhurt. That was all that mattered to me.

"Let's not do that again," he said after a few moments later. I laughed, a deep belly laugh that relieved the heaviness in my chest. "We're never leaving 12 ever. No more hovercrafts and trains."

"I agree, but what if we want to visit Annie?" Here we were stranded, bruised and alone in the middle of God knows where, planning our future trips together. Our situation was dire but at least we were together. I didn't want to be anywhere else. I continued to hold me for a few minutes content to be held by him but Peeta had other ideas.

"Katniss, let's get going. We don't know if Hawthorne is nearby and I don't want to be caught unawares." I stood up first extending my hand to help him up. He winced once he was on his feet.

"Peeta?"

"I'm okay. I just landed on my feet wrong…on my prosthetic but I'm fine. I just need to walk it off." He brushed himself and stood up right. I looked back at the building and the wreck the train caused.

"We should look and rummage through the building," I suggested. "We might find something to use or need." Peeta shook his head.

"We'll go find the bags I threw out of the train. That's all we need."

"Peeta, there might me something in that building we can use to contact Haymitch or anyone nearby," I argued back and Peeta shook his head in disagreement.

"Katniss, that's our cornucopia." He pointed.

"What? What do you mean?" I gasped in horror.

"If Hawthorne intends to hunt us down like in the arena, that's the cornucopia," he stated. "It's a trap."

"You think he led us here?" The thought sickened me that my childhood best friend reverted to using old Hunger Games tactics to punish Peeta and myself. He was beyond insane.

"Katniss, he meant for all of us to crash in the wreck," he explained. "You heard him. This is his version of the games. He's hunting for us like in the games." Peeta explained so casual and calm. My nerves were shot. I'm scared, tired and angry with Gale and with myself. Could I have prevented all this had I been brave enough to admit my feelings to Peeta early? As for Peeta, he took all this in stride. He was wobbly, shaken but concerned for my self-being.

"He would count on us to look around for supplies or help." He looked at the wreck and carnage beyond the field. "He led the train here for a reason and I'm not about to fall into any of his traps." He sighed to clear his mind. "We're on our own."

"But we're together. That's all that matters to me." I hoped that Haymitch, Johanna, Effie, Delly and Rory are all right and are still together. They had each other.

"I'm sorry, Katniss," he said, his eyes were sad with shoulders slumped.

"Why are you sorry?"

"We're in this mess because of me." There was no way I was letting Peeta take fault for Gale's obsessive and destructive behavior. "He's still after me and I'm endangering everyone. This is all my fault."

"This is no one's fault but Gale's," I said to him. I realized no matter what decision I made concerning Gale. He would have never accepted my answer even if I weren't with Peeta. But that too was never an option for me. It would have been Peeta or no one else in my life. He understood me, experienced the same trauma and horrors as me and never gave up on me when I even gave up on myself. I thought I had lost Peeta to the Capitol and then I lost Prim. I thought I lost everyone I ever loved and yet he's still here beside me, protecting me, loving me.

"Let's go, Katniss," he interrupted my inner dialogue. "We need to look for the duffel bags and get the hell out of here." He grabbed my hand and led us towards where he thought it fell. I looked at the forest ahead of us and at the destruction behind us. Peeta was right. We needed to move and find our way back to civilization. District 3 may not be my home, but the forest was familiar to me. I knew how to survive.

Gale was a scavenger. He was the best in luring game to his traps while I was best with the bow. If this was Gale's hunting ground, then we are his prey. For all I know he could be watching us now. But I've…Peeta and I survived two arenas, Snow and the rebellion. We were more than a match for Gale.

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_**AN: Thank you for reading this chapter. Wow, it's been a whole year since I started this story. I hoped it has amused and entertained you. I loved writing it as well. Have a great weekend.**_

_**AN2: Thanks to everyone who has visited my brother's Facebook site [Radiant Starlight] and/or have purchased his book [Attack of the Peacekeepers by G. P. Navarre]. If you love Katniss or Tris of Divergent, you'll love Peacekeeper Whitney. She's a female Galahad, starry eyed, bright, righteous but naïve of the new world around her. Book Two will be out by mid next year. Our family is very proud of his achievement. Thanks again.**_

**"Attack of the Peacekeepers"**

"_Captain, who are we fighting?" Whitney asked as she pulled her arm from Heston's grasp._

"_All you need to know is that the enemy is entering from the hangar bay and they want to kill everyone on this ship," Iversen stated._

"_Captain, who are we fighting? How many are there? Armament? Tactics? " Whitney inquired. _

"_My crew has managed to get your door working," Iversen informed. "Proceed to the hangar bay at once and engage the enemy." _

"_But, Captain—" _

"_Oh, shut up, Whitney," a voice snapped from behind her. Whitney turned around to see a scowling teenage girl. She was a short-haired brunette with olive skin and hard features. A heavy scowl hung over her large brown eyes._

"_Peralta," Whitney glared back at her, "this is important." _

"_Then it is a good thing I'm here," Peralta jeered and walked up to Whitney. She grabbed Whitney by the arm and spoke into the wristcom, "Peacekeepers moving to engage the enemy, over and out."_

_She then pressed the wristcom off._

"_Idiot," Whitney barked and pulled her arm from Peralta's grasp. "We need to know numbers and weapons to specify our tactics. We should start with a prayer to prepare us for battle." Half of the teens muttered in agreement while the other half shook their heads in disgust._

"_Shut up," Peralta sneered. "The ship is under attack. We have to move. Think later, stupid."_

"_You listen to me, Peralta. I am a peacekeeper ensign," Whitney seethed. "I am an officer. You will respect my rank."_

"_Or what?" Peralta said as she put on her helmet._

"_Or else I'll have you charged with insubordination," Whitney stated._

"_Right." Peralta shrugged and walked to the cargo bay doors. _

"_You do that, Peacekeeper Ensign Whitney. You file that report. You go ahead and act like you are in charge. Meanwhile, I've got a fight to win." She glared at Whitney as she pressed the switch to open the doors._

_Whitney wasn't about to let Peralta take charge of the situation. She faced the other teens and hollered, "Assemble into combat formation! That is an order!" With that the teens formed up into rows of five. Whitney turned to Peralta and said, "Thank you for opening the door, Peacekeeper Peralta. Now get in line like everyone else." Peralta gave a hard stare at Whitney then lined up. "We fly into battle. Follow me!"_

**––Excerpt Chapter One - For Love, Honor, Glory and a Handful of Coins, pages 13-14**


	51. Chapter 51 - The Most Dangerous Game 2

Chapter 51 – The Most Dangerous Game 2

_AN: Many thanks to my reviewers [Matainer, Trude, Lillian, LACR and Manaliac], your comments and reviews are greatly appreciated. I do appreciate your patience since I have disrupted my weekly update due to work. My respect to Suzanne Collins for creating the best character around; all rights and characters only belong to her. _

* * *

**Johanna POV ––**

The hovercar dropped Rory and I at the crash site. Haymitch recommended that we travel alongside the tracks where the train was headed. I argued against since Gale was probably thinking the same thing. We were easy pickings at the tracks. Before being dropped off, I reviewed the lay of the land leading to the endpoint of the tracks. By cutting through the forest we would reach the destination no longer than 2 days and a half.

The hair on the back of my neck stood up. The flora around me was familiar as we reached a grove of trees hiding the sun above us. I felt eyes on me. I raised my fisted hand to Rory in hope that he knew what it meant. He stopped like a trained soldier would to my command. The irritation and frustration I felt compounded my fear and anxiety for Peeta. I needed to find him. _'So help me God, if Gale did anything, touched a single hair on Peeta's head or spilled a drop of his blood, I swear he's dead,' _the voice echoed in my mind. He didn't survive everything he lived through, to finally have Katniss' love so some jealous psycho would make his life miserable. He didn't deserve it. I recalled the last day the Peeta I knew transformed from after his 'sessions.' It haunted me with guilt and shame for months wishing I had done something to prevent it.

* * *

_**Flashback ––**_

_Peeta whimpered in his sleep. It was dark, cold and quiet. Too quiet. The empty, soundless night unnerved me. For many days and nights our cell was barraged with sounds and voices hoping to shatter our thoughts and mind from the incessant noise. It was meant to drive us insane, like the MockingJays they used in the arena. It was what they used to keep us awake hours on end, depriving us from sleep. _

_I stood up from my cot wrapping a thin blanket around me. The floor was cold but I couldn't feel it. I felt numb. Our clothes barely fit with our bones and limbs jutting against the material. I could count all my ribs. "Peeta, wake up," I said to his trembling body as I knelt beside him. He was in the midst of a nightmare, thrashing on his cot. He was so gaunt and black and blue all over from the beatings. Both Annie and I had lost a considerable amount of weight since our abduction. It was expected after starving us for weeks. I had watched Peeta physically transformed from the golden hair, optimistic loving boy I knew to a shell of his former self. "Peeta, please wake up. You're having a nightmare."_

"_Katniss, help me," he simpered before his eyes flew open and sat up on the cot. Once he calmed down he rolled into a fetal position, hiding his face between his knees. "I'm sorry I woke you," he said. I couldn't recognize his voice. It was scratchy and dull._

"_You didn't," I said to him in comfort while I rubbed the hair on the back of his head. He sighed, his breath sputtered through his mouth as if he could barely breath. "I couldn't sleep." He reached for my bony hand into his; clutching it as tight with the remaining strength he could muster. Long stretches of silence fell between us. _

"_Go to sleep Peeta. I'll be right here." I leaned against the wall behind me pulling back when my baldhead contacted the cold wall. I was never much for physical affection, but my need to hold onto his hand was my lifeline. After weeks of torture, his strong arms comforted and soothed me. I could do no less for him now in return. We needed each other. I listened to his uneven breath for several minutes. He sobbed into his knees._

"_I don't…I don't know how long I can hold on, Johanna," he confessed. "My head hurts so bad. They keep…making me see things. I don't want to believe them but…"_

"_What things?"_

"_I don't know what's real anymore," he continued. "I just want to go home and see my dad. I miss him so much." After the first time they took him for his 'treatment,' he disappeared for several days. I was convinced that they had finally killed him. When they returned him, he didn't talk or look at us. The fact that he no longer talked about Katniss disturbed me. She was the light in the end of dark tunnel, his strength and purpose for living. I knew he was giving up. We all were. After all these months, we knew our chances for a rescue was non-existent. We were abandoned and forgotten. Lambs sacrificed for the cause. I didn't have the energy to bring her up. "I need you to promise me something, Johanna."_

_I knew this was coming. "What?"_

"_If I don't make it––"_

"_Peeta." I sighed. If he wasn't going to make it what made him think I would without him and Annie? Snow was probably planning our grand execution for the entire districts to witness. It would be glorious. We were going to die together. Executed as traitors to Panem._

"_If I don't make it. Promise me that you tell my dad that I love him. That he did the best he could and that I don't blame him for…anything that had happened to me."_

"_You're going to tell him yourself." I knew it was a lie but I needed to encourage him to stay alive. To stay alive for someone who loved him. He looked at me wanting to believe me._

"_I'm done, Johanna. I can't…I can't do this anymore. I have nothing left to give," he said as his hand shook between mine. The light in his eyes was gone. I had watched it dimmer with each passing day. _

"_But what about…what about Katniss?"_

"_She's safe in District 13 and with…him," he sighed. "As long as she's okay then, I'm…I can let go." He closed his eyes.  
_

"_Peeta? What do you mean about District 13?" I nudged him with my leg. He shifted his body laying his head on my lap. I was suddenly alert to his ramblings. He knew about 13. When? How? As far as I knew Haymitch never told Peeta and Katniss about the rebellion and District 13. It was Haymitch ill-conceived notion to 'protect' them from Snow by letting them be oblivious to the chaos around them. It was cruel of him to have manipulated them that way. _

"_I'm so tired. I just want to sleep." My throat felt constricted as I held a sob threatening to explode from my chest. After that night, the Peeta that was returned to us was never the same. He scared me. He was quiet and wild eyed, but he never touched or talked to Annie and me. He kept to himself. I knew that they were torturing him as I noticed the bruises on his wrists, neck and leg. They were prominent on his fair skin; big, black, purple and painful bruises that never had time to heal. They had finally broken him. As for me, they tried to break me by drowning me. They tried to take what was what left of my identity as a woman; they shaved off my hair._

"_You're still you, Johanna," Peeta said to me once they dropped me back in our cell. His strong arm was around my shoulders, pressing his lips on my forehead. "You're hair doesn't define. You're still beautiful no matter what." I sobbed in his arms, wishing I had this kind of comfort when I first returned as a Victor in my games._

_I knew I lost him that night. However, somehow the Peeta that protected Annie and me was still there the night those two men tried to rape us. After a few weeks of isolation from Peeta he was returned to us just in time to save us. We saved each other as best we could all those months in the Capitol. My love and loyalty to Peeta was not a debt to be paid in return but a vow to be kept. We protected each other then as we promised to protect each other now._

_**End of flashback ––**_

* * *

"Where are you Peeta?" I mumbled to myself. "Give me a sign that you're okay." Rory stood a couple of feet behind me, looking around us. I looked up at the trees that towered over us. It was past 5 o'clock in the afternoon. We have been traversing the woods for nearly two hours and found nothing. The sun was behind us, dipping onto the horizon. Night would come soon. The scent of pine and dirt comforted me for a few seconds. I miss District 7, but 12 is my home now. Images of my former life in 7 flashed in my head. I was petulant and hard with everyone around me except with Finnick and Annie. They were the only two who had cracked through my hard exterior, seeing and accepting me for I am. I never thought anyone could do that until Peeta and Delly came along. My heart shattered when I lost Finnick. I couldn't bear to Peeta again.

I took several steps ahead of me when I heard the sound of a branch break. Rifle in hand, I twirled around looking for where the sound came from. Rory stood beside me. Ten yards in front of us was a stag. He was large and magnificent, a wonderful sight reminding that nature had survived man's greed and destruction. That despite the horrors life went on as nature had intended.

At the corner of my eye I watched Rory raised his rifle, aimed to kill. I grabbed his rifle out of his hands. "What the fuck, Rory? " I seethed with anger then shoved him making him land on his backside.

"That was our dinner, Commander," he explained, his face a look of surprise and hurt.

"You're a fucking idiot," I returned. "You have your food rations."

"It's not enough––"

"Do you even realize how many ways killing that stag would have been wrong?" He stood up and brushed himself. "One, he's too big. What are going to do with the rest of him? It's a waste. Two, we packed our food rations enough to last for four days and if it takes longer to find Peeta and Katniss. We'll forage around and get smaller game. And three, the most important of all, do you want to announce to your brother our location?"

Rory looked stunned and embarrassed. I knew the moment when Peeta and Katniss went missing; it was his Gale's fault. The accident was too coincidental. He separated us from them on purpose. Setting off any sounds would alert him of our presence and location if he was close by. I wanted to catch Gale unawares.

"Sorry, Commander."

"Just don't do something that will endanger us. I don't know if you're familiar with the woods but I told you before. You will do what I say and don't get any bright ideas about saving your brother over Peeta. I'm trusting you with his life, Katniss' and my own, understand?" He nodded his head.

"And another thing, stop with the commander or captain crap. You can call me Mason." I threw his rifle at him. "Come on let's follow that sucker. I hope he'll lead us to fresh water."

For another hour, we trailed behind the stag as best we could. To our relief, he did lead us to a river. I decided to set up camp and call it a night. I told Haymitch that I wouldn't call him at all. He could track me with my necklace. As long as I kept moving into the designated area with the GPS functioning, there would be no need to contact him. Once it turned off for more than ten minutes then he can decide his next move.

The sun set two hours later. Rory complained about not lighting up a fire when the air around us got chilly. "Stop complaining. I thought you're used to this cold by now seeing how you grew up in the Seam."

"I haven't been back to the 'Seam' since it was destroyed."

"Aren't you lucky that your life is so much better now because of the rebellion. Where do you think you'd be right now?" I asked him, but pondered whether I was asking that question to myself. Rory sighed in melancholy.

"I would be with my family starving and freezing from the cold. My little sister and brother would not be as healthy as they are right now, living in the new District 12 in their own bedroom playing with their toys. They wouldn't have the childhood they have right now."

"Exactly, so shut up and stay alert. Once the night passes I'll build a fire if the temperature drops to a level we can't handle. You're asshole brother is looking for Katniss and Peeta so I don't want to let him know I'm hunting for him."

My thoughts wandered to Peeta and Katniss hoping that they were safe and secured for the night. At least I hoped they are together and not in Gale's hands. Later that night, I started a low burning fire that would emit enough heat for the both of us without the flames alerting anyone of our location. I slept intermittently waking up to every sound. Rory's snore first awoke me causing me to poke him in the chest. He turned around in agitation.

By dawn, I was sore and grumpy from sleeping on the cold, hard ground. Breakfast was the same as last night, a dried nut and fruit bar with a beef jerky. I washed it down with hot coffee feeling queasy as the meal settled in my stomach. It was a far cry from the meals Peeta and I prepared during the past several weeks. I miss his Cheese Buns and sweet treats he prepared for dessert. He spoiled all of us with his creations. One morning I realized that I couldn't fit in my favorite pair of jeans_. _I blamed him for my weight gain.

* * *

_**Flashback ––**_

"_I'm getting fat because of you," I pretended to be angry with him showing him my unbutton pants. "Look at me. I can't fit into these pants anymore. Ugh…what happened to me?" I cried in frustration. Peeta stared back at me for a few seconds then smirked._

"_No once forced you to eat all the Cheese Buns I made, Johanna," he snorted. His eyes twinkled in amusement._

"_Peeta."_

"_Johanna?" His blond brows furrowed in response as he sucked in his lips trying hard not to laugh._

"_I say this with no malice in my heart or hurtful intention," I exclaimed._

"_Okay."_

"_You're a menace to a girl's figure and diet. I fucking hate you." I smiled sweetly at him._

"_Oh, Johanna," he laughed. "I fucking hate you more. By the way, I made a batch of Cheese Buns. They're in the kitchen. You better get some before Delly and Katniss eat all of them." I reached over and messed with his hair laughing at my attempt to punish him. I missed his laugh and happy disposition. To see him in any other way was disturbing and unnatural for him. I'm relieved that he had found himself again. With the help and support from Haymitch, Delly and Peeta, I had recovered enough to appreciate the new life given to me. I couldn't let the Capitol win._

_**End of flashback ––**_

* * *

"Do you have any idea where we should be headed?" Rory asked as he walked beside me.

"The training terminal."

He gasped in surprise. "You know about that place existed?"

"Hello, it wasn't a secret training facility just undisclosed," I sneered back.

"Gale told me that no one knew of the location for the training camp or so he told me?"

"You hear things in the hospital after the rebellion. The rumor was the training was so brutal that they created a temporary medical clinic on the sight. Not just providing a doctor but a whole operating staff. I knew it existed but not which District," I explained. "They needed to retrain the former Peacekeepers and integrate them into the Guardsmen military." I wondered what Paylor intended to do with the rebel army. "I can understand your brother in the Guardsmen but you, Rory. I never pegged you to join them."

"I didn't," Rory spat. "My mother and Gale suggested that I do something with my life and since I had no formal training. He made me volunteer." He shivered at the memory. "It was horrible. Former peacekeepers and rebels hated each other, but Gale was strict with everyone. If anyone whether you were a rebel or former peacekeeper started trouble, you were booted out of the camp. I didn't want to join the Guardsmen, he made me do it."

"Wow, he volunteered you? How nice of your older brother to do that to you. If you didn't want to be become a soldier what would you have done?" He blushed for a second and looked away. "Well, what occupation would you like to have trained in?"

"You'll laugh at me. Gale did," He said with a tinge of petulance. I had forgotten that Rory was still a teen, barely 16 years old. Wearing the uniformed aged him not just physically but psychologically as well. He grew up fast like the rest of us. I softened my demeanor reminding myself that he was still a child at heart. He'll never be reaped but he felt and lived through the ravages of war.

"It couldn't be that bad."

"No, you don't understand. He made fun of me. Said I was a sissy boy for even thinking about it," he added. "He said my career choice was women's work." My brows lifted in curiosity. "I wanted to become a…chef."

I laughed, not because it was ridiculous but because I could imagine Gale's reaction. "See you're laughing at me." I shook my head.

"I'm not laughing at you, Rory," I guffawed. "I was imagining Gale's face when you told him."

"Oh, I guess that's okay." I stopped in front of him.

"Listen, there is nothing wrong with wanting to become a chef if that's what you want."

"Most of my life I was starving, you know. We barely had food on the table if it hadn't been for Gale hunting and trapping game." I nodded my head. "When Gale was transferred to District 2, we went out to dinner. Mom usually cooked breakfast and lunch, but Gale took us out to dinner most nights. I visited the kitchen once and I was just…I wanted to prepare food for a living. Learn from the bottom up, you know?"

"It's no wonder Gale forced you to volunteer. I can imagine him displeased and disappointed with your career choice." At least he had a chance to have a career choice.

"He said that I would change my mind once I finished boot camp, but he was wrong." Rory kicked a rock beside his foot. "It made me want it more since the food was horrible there."

"There's nothing wrong wanting to become a chef, Rory," I repeated.

"Well, tell that to my brother." I thought I detected tears in his eyes. "He said…he said only pussies and wimps like…like Mellark could never attract girls with that kind of job. I still don't understand how my wanting to become a chef has anything to do with girls."

I snorted. "Really, so tell me Rory. What do _you_ think?" He shrugged his shoulders. "If that's true, then your big manly brother should have gotten _'The Girl,'_ don't you think? Since you know, Peeta is a baker and a big pussy and all." He was about to open his mouth when I heard a sound behind me. I raised my rifle while Rory followed suit. A figure appeared behind a tree. My visibility was impaired since the sun was directly in my eyes. The figure was lean and lanky, like Gale. Oh shit.

Remembering we were out in the open, I ran towards the trees for cover. Rory followed right behind me. He wasn't agile or coordinated as he crashed onto the tree trunk. "Ouch," he gasped in pain.

"Shut up, you big baby."

"Is it Gal?" he asked with fear in his eyes. This was hard on him. He loved Gale but knew he was a danger to Peeta and everyone around him.

"I can't tell," I told him. "You head over there." I pointed to a row of trees opposite us. "I'll flank the left side. You get his right. When you get to the tree throw a rock at his direction to distract him. I'll try to get him from behind."

He moved as instructed but I grabbed his arm the last minute. "If that's Gale and you betray me. I'll shoot you both without any hesitation." He gulped and nodded his head. I crept forward as I moved my feet in slow deliberate steps. After several feet I had approached the figure from behind him. I couldn't tell who he was but knew he was crouched down on his knees. Rory threw a rock at him helping me to creep from behind him.

"Put the gun down and hands in the air," I yelled at him. The intruder dropped his rifle and raised his hands. From behind, he wore the rebellion uniform complete with backpack and gear. "Turn around Gale."

"Don't shoot Johanna," he said as he turned around.

"What the fuck?"

"Hi, Johanna. Remember me, Alec. Alec Baylor from District 12," Alec announced himself. Rory charged from behind him and forced Alec onto his knees.

"What the fuck are you doing here? I could have blown you head off."

"You know him?" Rory interjected.

"Um…Haymitch sent me," Alec explained.

"Great. Thanks Haymitch," I blurted to the air as if he could hear me. "Now I get to babysit the two of you." I was upset that Haymitch sent Alec let alone made me bring Rory.

"I don't need babysitting," Alec said as he stood up and brushed his clothes. "I was a soldier during the rebellion. I was in District 8, you know. I joined the rebellion once I knew it existed. I can help you."

"Why did you he send you?"

"I volunteered." Damnit, this is what Katniss created. People volunteering left and right since her reaping. It was becoming a trend.

"What's in it for you, Baylor?"

"I wanted to help you find Peeta and Katniss," he explained.

"You don't even know him."

"He was really nice to me when I lost the baking competition. He offered me a job once the bakery has completed construction," he continued. "I didn't have any where else to go." He shrugged his shoulders. However, I knew Peeta's motivation for hiring Alec. He wanted to have someone incase something happened to him. Peeta wanted his name to live on but have Alec would work there in his place just in case.

"You're a baker?" Rory asked. He was flummoxed looking over Alec. Alec was lean and medium height. He didn't look like a baker. Not that there was a stereotype. He was soft spoken and gentle like Peeta. I didn't believed him when he said he was a soldier during the rebellion. I didn't know if he was former Peacekeeper or rebel. I didn't care. But, there was a tired look and weariness about his demeanor; like someone who had lost a lot during the war. But as for being a baker, I wouldn't have guessed.

"You know what?" I interrupted Rory. "Time's a wasting. We need to move. I'll deal with Haymitch later for not telling me that he was sending someone."

"It was a last minute––"

"No matter. Move." I commanded them. "Follow me or stay behind. I can care less." After an eight-hour walk, we travel 19 miles of terrain that ran from varied levels of elevation. Our feet were sore while our backs ached from lugging 20 pound of gear on our person. We reached a summit that availed us the view of the valley and for anyone who may approach us from below. We had a great vantage point. The air was thin but we managed as best we could. I was used to it. It was not the case for Rory and Alec. We had to stop several times for them to adjust to the elevation.

We set up our campsite an hour before sunset when I realized that Rory was missing. "Where the hell did he go?"

"I think he needed to do some…business," Alec revealed. He had his back turned to me. Rory hadn't appeared another ten minutes and I was losing my patience. My mind flashed images of Gale and Rory secretly meeting up and leading him back to us. My state of paranoia only added to my frustration. "Damnit, he's been gone too long. How long does take for you guys to do your business," I said in irritation. Alec ignored me. "What are you doing?"

"I'm making dinner," he said as he started a fire.

"Just wait a minute. Gale will see that," I said, as I was about to douse the fire.

"We have an hour before we lose daylight," he explained. "I can make some flat bread real quick before he can see the fire." He ignored my scowl. Then, Rory appeared out of nowhere holding two dead rabbits in his hand.

"Look what I trapped for dinner." He said so proud of himself. I walked over to him and push him on his chest.

"What the hell, Rory," I grumbled. "Do not ever go out there on your own without telling me where you're going. This is not some summer camping trip. What if Gale found you? What if you got hurt?"

"I'm sorry." He didn't sound apologetic. "But at least we can have real meat for dinner."

Irritated, I walked off away from the idiots. One was building a fire to make bread while the other was skinning the rabbits. I was surrounded by imbeciles. My nerves were raw from not finding Peeta and Katniss. I took several deep breaths to calm my shattered nerves. My emotions were mixed with anger and fear. It was feeling I was not accustomed to other than for myself, Annie and Finnick. This is what happened when you let people in to your life and heart. Maybe Katniss had the right idea about not letting people into your life. I would have lived a life of ignorant bliss.

I found myself at the peak of the mountainside. The sun had dipped into the horizon. The view before me was grand and majestic. I missed District 7's trees and forage. I felt at peace for a moment. Forty-five minutes later Alec appeared behind me. My reaction was to aim my rifle at his head. They left me alone to my own device as I watched the sun set before me. The silent moment of peace calmed me until he came along. I looked down the valley below wondering where Peeta and Katniss might be, and hoped that they were unhurt.

"It's just me, Alec," he said while he held onto a small metallic bowl with two pieces of bread. The aroma of rabbit meat filled my nostrils. "Here I saved you some before Rory ate everything." I looked at him with suspicion. "There's more I saved up incase you want seconds."

"Thanks." Within minutes, I ate my warm meal consisted of bread and rabbit meat. Savoring the taste of real protein in my mouth, it settled in my stomach filling me. It was more than enough. He pulled out his cantina. My belly felt full and heavy, but satisfied.

"I hope the rabbit wasn't to gamey," he wondered. "I don't cook rabbit often so…" _'Was he waiting for a compliment?_' What was that proverb, 'a way to a man's heart is through his stomach.' I recognized that look he was giving me. The same adoring look Peeta had whenever he was with Katniss. I had no patience or time for that kind of love in my life. I lost that ability to love anyone with the exception of Finnick the moment my mentor informed me that my entire family was killed in an accident. I didn't or wanted to love anyone.

"It wasn't. Thank you, I was too hungry to notice if it was." I swiped my mouth with the back of my hand and belched out loud. Effie would have been horrified at my dinner etiquette. I miss everyone even Bron. Alec smirked back. I was about to head back when Alec stopped my by placing a hand on my shoulder. I reeled back in surprise. "What?" His touch startled me.

He dug into his pant pocket and pulled out a military tag. "Haymitch said to make Rory wear this." The tags swung in the air between his fingertips. I grabbed it to the read the inscription. The etchings read, 'Corporal Rory Hawthorne.'

"He got promoted? For what?" I gasped in surprise and a tinge of anger.

"For his continued service in helping out the Star-Crossed Lovers of District 12," he explained. "Haymitch and Paylor thought it would give him an incentive to…protect them. Give him some purpose."

"Or guilt him more than likely." I felt the weight of the tag. It was heavier than usual. "Hmm…sneaky Haymitch."

"What?"

"It's the same tag that Bron wears." Alec looked confused. "It has a GPS embedded in it."

"Oh, I see." He pulled out his own and compared the weight against Rory's tag. "Another security measure." I looked at him closely for the first time since his arrival. He's tall but not as tall as Gale. Alec was leaner than him with dark brown hair and gold highlights. His bushy eyebrows were prominent against his green eyes. I felt…a second of…interest, lust? Then remembered why he was here. He was here to help me find Peeta and Katniss. Besides, I'm too broken and skittish to even contemplate having any relationship with any man. I trusted only Peeta, and Haymitch to some degree. And, Bron because of his relationship with Delly.

"Johanna?"

"Sorry," I said. "My mind wandered for a second. We should head back to camp before Rory eats all our rations." I grabbed the tag and turned to walk back to camp.

"Johanna, Rory meant well," Alec started. "Listen, he's still a kid. He's never experienced what we did. He's really trying hard to impress you. And…"

"And what?"

"I think you're missing the fact that he's here with you…hunting down his own brother. It's must be really hard for him, you know." I stared back at him. He sounded like Peeta.

"I told him the repercussions and consequences of coming with me. He made that choice."

"I'm not making excuses for him. I want you to understand him, that's all," Alec concluded. "Just give him some slack."

"Listen, what we're doing is dangerous and very important to me. Peeta and Katniss are very important to me. They're my concern. You look after Rory if you're worried." Without waiting for a response I walked off and headed back to the campsite.

We took turns on guard duty. Rory, Alec then myself kept watch in that order. Alec suggested I take another hour of sleep since I was up from 2-5am. I couldn't and told him I was used to staying up. My stint at the Capitol trained me. By midmorning, we were close to the terminal. I drove the boys hard through the forest denying them rest or stops unless for a bio break. As expected, Rory complained and whined all the way.

By noon, we found ourselves facing a large open field. The train tracks ended half a mile in the distance. My heart stopped, in my field of vision was a terminal. It was destroyed. In the middle of the wreckage was the train. The lead engine that Peeta and Katniss were on before we were separated. I ran across the field with Rory and Alec right behind me.

"Peeta. Katniss," I screamed. _'Please don't be hurt, please,'_ my mind chanted. Fear and the feeling of desperation fueled my legs. I was tired from our long trek but after seeing the wreckage, my aches and pains diminished in an instant. I felt my heart beating against my chest while I breathed through my mouth. The air was cold. I felt the chill as it passed through my throat and into my lungs. "Peeta, Katniss." Both Rory and Alec yelled for them as well.

The train was pile of mangled and twisted metal. It was destroyed and obliterated. "Oh God, oh God," I yammered. My feet were frozen to the ground and I'm paralyzed with fear and anticipation. "Katniss, Peeta."

"Johanna, stay back," Alec instructed. "Let Rory and me see through the wreckage." I nodded my head. For several minutes I held my breath waiting for Alec and Rory as they examined the scene.

"Please don't be there," I chanted to myself in a low whisper. If there was a God, I prayed to him or her bargaining for Peeta and Katniss' life. _'I swear to live my life to the fullest. That I would not take the people I love for granted and that the people who lost their lives didn't die in vain. Please don't be dead.' _I negotiated.

"Rory, Alec," I hollered. "Are they in there?" Alec appeared first, dirty with ash and grime smeared all over his hands and face. Rory was nowhere to be seen.

"I looked everywhere. Every nook and cranny, Johanna," he said. "I found nothing." He smiled, weak but relief apparent on his face. I hugged him, tight. He looked startled as he returned my embrace in return.

"Thank you, thank you." I held on to him longer than I should have but my fear and concern for Peeta and Katniss overwhelmed me. His arms felt right at the moment. I wished I were hugging Katniss and Peeta, knowing that they were alive and safe. I pulled back. "Where's Rory? He was right behind you."

"I don't know––" A crash sounded in the wreckage.

"Rory!" He appeared with a big smile on his face, holding a medium size metallic box.

"Look what I found," he said with glee and surprise. I peered inside the box. There inside were eight Cheese Buns, cold but intact.

"Oh my God, are those––" Alec started and reached for the container.

"Give me that," I said as I snatched it away from him. Of course, Rory would have rummaged the kitchen/galley of the train. What I hadn't expected was that the bread survived the impact. Silly but desperate, I thought that this was Peeta's way for telling me that he and Katniss were alive and okay. It was a sign I was looking and praying for.

For a moment I felt relief since I knew it was fleeting. So imagine the look on my face when suddenly a barrage of gunfire was shot in our direction. "Run for cover," I yelled.

We scattered in different direction as I lost sight of Rory and Alec for a few seconds. The bombardment pelted us into position. We were trapped. Adjusting my bearing, I found Alec crouched to my left behind a large pile of twisted metal. Rory was flat on his stomach covering his head with enough cover to protect his body from the onslaught.

The gunfire stopped providing us a moment to regroup. I fired several shots and was greeted with artillery fire in return. When the gunfire stopped again, I realized that it's a single shooter firing at us.

"Alec," I shouted to him. "Where is it coming from?"

"Twenty yards straight ahead," he answered back. "Someone is in the building."

"Rory," I shouted. Silence. "Rory, are you hurt?" Still no answer returned. I looked back to his inert body. He turned his head to me. He had tears in his eyes and a look of fright that I recognized. He was scared to death. Poor kid. "Just stay where you are and don't move." He nodded his head and closed his eyes. I gestured to Alec transmitting hand signals to him.

I'm assuming it was Gale so I called out to him. "Gale," I shouted at him. He didn't answer back. "I know it's you asshole. Only a coward like you would go after Peeta this way." I needed to rile him so I could pinpoint his location.

"You couldn't get to him so you're going after the people he cared the most. Me, Delly, Effie and Haymitch." I signaled Alec to sneak up to him while I distracted him. "Well, you failed killing me in the hovercraft. And Bron is safe is District 4 with Delly, Haymitch and Effie." Alec reached the building undetected where the shots were fired. Unfortunately the building was concrete with windows only in the front of the exterior. Alec couldn't approach him without being seen.

"You're really messed up man. You need help. Just because Katniss didn't love you doesn't mean it's the end of the world. Just move on already and leave Peeta alone." A hail of gunfire answered me back. _'Oops, I think I hit a nerve.'_ "Even your little brother Rory thinks you need help." I returned several rounds of gunfire. Again he retaliated with more fire. Then I had an idea.

"You know Hawthorne, Katniss will never love you back," I yelled at him. "She's too crazy in love with Peeta that it's really quite sickening and sweet. I mean, the sounds coming from their bedroom. Oh my God, you should hear her yelling his name like some wild banshee. He really knows how to give it to her good." I listened and I got no response. "I mean, why not? Right? I mean I never seen a cock as big, thick and beautiful like Peeta's. Why would she want you when she can have that every night, right?"

As expected by taunting Gale's fragile ego and his masculinity in question, he lost his cool and opened fire. No man ever wanted to be told that his rival was a better lover and had larger equipment.

The deluge of gunfire was relentless as debris and dirt showered down on Rory and me. Gale was pissed angry and mad as hell. I finally hit a nerve. The gunfire went on forever. Well, it felt like it did until it stopped. I dared to peek from my spot. Alec was backed against the wall listening. It was quiet again.

I watched Alec slowly creep forward to the large window where the fire was coming from. He ducked fast as rifle crashed against the window and landed in front of the building. I guess Gale ran out of ammo, which I hoped would happen. Alec looked in the window then shouted, "Johanna and Rory, run."

Without any hesitation, I picked my weary body off the ground and ran. I lost sound and my sight blurred as I felt my feet lift off the ground, propelling me into the air. The concussion from the explosion burned and singed my back and neck. I lost the grip I had on my rifle as I spread my arms like wings. I thought, _'This is what it feels like to fly.'_

Suddenly, my life flashed before my eyes; I remembered my first birthday, my first kiss. I remembered my reaping, the face of my first and last kill that won me the arena. I recalled the headstones of each family member I buried in one day. Then before hitting the ground I saw Finnick, Annie, Haymitch, Delly and Katniss. I landed on the ground headfirst and felt the pain of the impact on my neck, shoulders and back. Before the world turned dark around me, I saw a face of a boy with crystal blue eyes and blond hair. I whispered one word as my eyes closed, "Peeta."

* * *

**Katniss POV ––**

The space between was wide, as wide as the land of Panem. Peeta was close behind me but faraway in spirit. I didn't mean to be short or be frustrated with him. I was annoyed that he dismissed my idea of searching the train terminal. He was convinced it was a cornucopia and Gale had sent us there to ambush us. It made sense at the time, but now I'm not sure. What added to my frustration were his loud steps as he traversed in the woods. I recalled the downward spiral of his mood and emotions to set off his quiet and dour behavior.

* * *

**_Flashback ––_**

"_Peeta, we should have looked around the wreckage and see if there was anything we could find in there," I reiterated for the third time. "The building could have had a radio transmitter, video feed."_

"_It's too obvious and coincidental for that building to be there. It was a trap, Katniss." I huffed in annoyance at his explanation. "Gale sent us there for a reason and I wasn't about to find out hard way."_

"_You're being paranoid," I suggested. The steps he took dragged on the ground that a nearby squirrel ran off from fright. "Damnit."_

"_What now?" he said in annoyance._

"_You scared off a squirrel that we could have had for dinner."_

"_Sorry."_

"_You've been scaring of all the game with your loud footsteps," I complained. "Can't you walk quieter with your feet. I mean––"_

"_Well, excuse me for not walking any quieter for you," he seethed in anger. The fire in his eyes and harsh tone in his voice surprised me. "It wasn't as if was raised and hunted in the woods all my life, Katniss."_

"_I just…I want to catch rabbit or squirrel and you're scaring everything off."_

"_For God's sake, Katniss. If you're hell bent in arguing with me then walk back to the terminal, get the fucking squirrel you're determined to catch. If being with me is such a nuisance since I can't walk any quieter, it's best that we separate right now, damnit."_

_He was closed to tears. His fists were clenched by his side, as he favored his left leg. I hadn't noticed until now that he was limping badly until he walked passed me. "Leave me the hell alone."_

"_Peeta, you're limping."_

"_No shit, Katniss."_

"_Why didn't tell me?" I exploded. I was concern of our situation that I didn't realize that he may have seriously injured his leg during the jump off the train._

"_You've been bitching for the past three hours about the train terminal and my walking too damn loud." He stopped and bent over rubbing his left knee. He winced as his hand felt for the skin around his prosthesis. _

"_Sit down and take a––" I walked over to him and was about to grab his waist when he pulled away from me._

"_I'm fine." He continued to walk slow and steady. I followed behind him ashamed of my behavior. "Maybe we should separate."_

"_What the hell, Peeta!"_

"_Gale is after me, Katniss," he said with finality. "You're in danger because of me."_

"_Peeta. I'm not about to leave you to face him alone."_

"_I'm just so tired of this––"_

"_There is no way in hell I'm gong to––" I started._

"_I want this to be over. I never wanted to kill anyone in life ever. To make him pay for ruining so many lives, Bron, Eva and Delly. For almost fucking killing me when he abducted me." He raised his head towards the sky gazing at the tall trees above us. "Come and get me you fucking coward," he screamed into the air. "Come out and fight like a man." He turned around. "Face me right now, Gale. Come and get me."_

"_Peeta, keep your voice down." He was losing it. His chest heaved from his rant. I grabbed him by the arms and he twisted away from me. "Peeta!"_

"_Leave me alone, Katniss," he muttered through clenched teeth. "I don't know if I can hold off…I'm so mad, angry…run before I hurt you." He closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. "Not real, not real. I can't do this."_

"_I'm not going anywhere without you," I said to him, low and soft. He was fighting himself, fighting the thoughts and images that could trigger him. "I did that once, and I almost lost you." I did lose him. "You haven't had a single episode since…we left District 12." I couldn't see his face but I knew he was in agony not just physically but emotionally as well._

"_But I had my wristband, Katniss. I relied on it. It helped me focus." He fought off the tears that ran down his cheeks. I felt helpless watching him trying to control his anger and his cries of pain._

_I moved in front of him. "Kara took it off for a reason. She believed that you could function with it. She believed in you. Just like I do. I do believe that you don't need it."_

"_I don't think I can ward off an episode without it." He turned his face away from me. _

"_Listen, Peeta. I know you can." He closed his eyes as I placed both hands on his face and forced him to look at me. "I'm not scared of you. You won't hurt me."_

"_How can you say that? I already have." He opened his eyes. His beautiful blue orbs went directly to my neck. Tears tracked down his face streaming past his lips and onto his shirt._

"_It wasn't your fault."_

"_I had my hands wrapped around your neck, Katniss. I remember it, I see it in my head every day…"_

"_Why didn't you say anything? I told you, Peeta. I forgave you."_

"_I can't forgive myself. That day haunts me, Katniss. I was programmed to kill you and I almost did." Weary and tired, he wrapped his arms around me. I sighed in relief. I missed his arms around me. "I'm sorry, Katniss. I'm so sorry."_

"_Shh, hey, it's done and over with," I said as I smoothed his back with my hands. "That's the past. I've forgiven you a long time ago."_

"_I'll never forget it."_

"_Peeta, have you forgiven me for the way I treated you," I asked him._

"_That has nothing to do with––"_

"_Yes, it does, Peeta," I said. "I treated you badly for months and you forgave me."_

"_I didn't have the right to be mad at you just because you didn't love me," he sighed into my neck. His breath was warm and comforting. I laid my head on his shoulder relishing his strong muscled chest against my breasts. "You love you who love and you can't force anyone to love you back."_

"_Peeta, you once said that everything that happened in the past stays in the past."_

"_How can you forgive me for almost killing you?" he asked._

"_How can you forgive me for denying how I felt about you?" I countered back. _

"_Because I love you, Katniss." He smiled in his shy and adoring way whenever he looked at me. Like I was the moon and the stars in the sky. He had looked at me with such adoration and awe in his eyes. It unnerved me before, but now I craved it. He made me feel loved and wanted._

"_I do love you, Peeta," I reaffirmed his declaration. "I don't ever want you to forget it." We held each other for several minutes. The temperature in the air quickly turned. I felt him shiver. "Come on. We should keep moving. I want to find a safe spot for us to settle in for the night." I took his hand and we continued to walk until there wasn't any daylight left._

**_End of flashback ––_**

* * *

We had settled into the night in quiet reflection. I was able to trap a rabbit for dinner. We worked beside each other while Peeta build a fire and I skinned the rabbit. Throughout the evening Peeta was quiet. He spoke when I spoken to but didn't initiate conversation during dinner. After our little spat, he held my hand as we walked in the woods. He didn't ask or wonder which direction I was leading us. He just followed and obeyed my commands.

"Are you okay, Peeta? Do you want to stop for a few minutes?" I asked him at one point. He just shook his head.

"I'm cold and tired, but okay, Katniss," he answered back. "Let's keep moving and get away from the terminal. The farther we are away from that place, the better I'll feel."

However, his sullen behavior continued after dinner. The night was cold. I nestled my body against Peeta's chest as I sat between his legs. With his chest covering my back and his arms around me, I felt safe and warm.

I swore to myself that I would temper my anger and frustration to the situation on hand, and not on Peeta. We were alone without anyone to help us and in a strange place. I couldn't lose focus.

At morning during breakfast he stared into the trees beyond us. His eyes were unfocused as if he was in the midst of a daydream. It wasn't a good one since his face was scrunched and his lips was in a thin line. "What's wrong, Peeta?" I asked him.

"Nothing," I returned. "I thought I saw something but…"

"Like what?" I queried.

"It's nothing." He turned and passed me a cup of tea and cold cheese bun. "Did you sleep okay?"

"Yes, I did. I always do when you have your arms around me," I told him. "I have to tell you though, my butt hurts from the cold ground we were sitting own. How about you?"

"I did for a bit, but I stayed up half the night watching over us."

"Peeta!" I scolded him. "You should have woken me up. I would stayed up with you."

"It's all right, Katniss. I was too nervous and scared to sleep." I looked at him for a few seconds. He looked tired and worn, but alert. "Katniss?"

"Yes."

"Do you remember our Geography class in school?"

"What about it?" I wondered where this conversation was leading to. Thinking about my school years was the last thing I wanted to remember. It brought back memories of Prim and my father.

"Do you remember what our teacher Mrs. Roberts said about District 3?" he asked.

"Not really, Peeta? Why?" My brows furrowed in curiosity.

"She said that the forests in District 3, and 7 were almost the identical. That they had the same plants, forage and creatures inhabiting the woods."

"Yea, I think so."

"Does these trees look familiar to you?"

"Not really." I drained my tea to wash down the cheese bun I ate while I spoke to Peeta. I noticed that his piece was half eaten.

"I guess, I'm just seeing things," he sighed.

"Peeta, tell me what's wrong?" I stood up and sat next to him taking his cold hands into mine. "Tell me."

"I woke up just as the sun rose. And for a moment I didn't remember where we were or…what day it was." He stopped to gather his thoughts. I watched his Adam's apple work up and down his throat. "I mean, I thought we were back in the first arena." I gasped.

"What do you mean?"

"I thought that we were in the 74th Hunger Game. Instead of waking up in the cave, I woke up in the woods with you in my arms." He tugged my hand into his chest. "I thought I dreamt of the cave…that it never happened…and we were still being hunted down by Cato, Clove and everyone else." He shifted his left leg. "Then I felt for my leg and remembered that we're in District 3 being hunted down by…Gale."

"Oh Peeta." I wrapped an arm around his shoulder. "You must have been so scared. Why didn't you wake me up?" I hated that when he had a nightmare, he never woke me up to comfort him.

"You were in my arms, fast asleep...sleeping peacefully." He touched the tip of my braid just like he did during the berry incident in the first arena. I grabbed his left hand and rubbed his wrist where the band used to be. It was odd not seeing it there after the many months he wore it.

"I scared myself when I woke up. When I didn't find my wristband, I thought that everything that happened between us these last few weeks was a dream. That I dreamt it all…I didn't know what was real for a few minutes."

"This." I gestured between us. "Is real and good…so good that I'm never letting you go. I've never been happier in my life as I am right now with you."

"So…we survived a train crash…we're in the middle of the forest in District 3, lost and lone. Gale is hunting us because you love me…not him. He's obsessed in killing me because he's convinced that you're really in love with him."

"Well, I said the things between us are good, Peeta," I teased him. "I didn't say that everything else around us was." He smiled. It was the first time in hours since leaving the train terminal. I missed it. "No matter what happens, this…right here, right now is where I want to be."

Thirty minutes later, we cleaned up our campsite and packed our belongings. "Have any idea where we are?" Peeta asked.

"Well, I know we're northeast of the railroad tracks. I have no idea where we're heading so I figure we continue going east until we find something. I just that Haymitch sent air and rescue after us." I looked at the sky above us. I figured it's close to 8 in the morning. Spending days and camping out at nights with my father taught me how to determine the hour of the day.

"I hope not." Stunned, I stared at Peeta. He looked ragged from lack of sleep. I wanted to stop and let him rest for an hour or so but argued against it. If Gale was at the terminal, he would surely be right behind us.

"Why not?" I asked flabbergasted as I stopped in my tracks at his response.

"Gale shot at Johanna's hovercraft in the air, Katniss. Anyone traveling in this area would probably meet the same fate. If I were him, I'd keep this to myself. I don't want any more people involved. I don't want any more blood in my hands."

"You know that Johanna is probably somewhere out there looking for us."

"I thought of that. I just hope she isn't," he said.

Close to noontime, the sun was blistering hot and the air turned arid and dry. The drop in temperature made the trek hard and overbearing. The cold air turned to heat causing us to dampen our clothes with our sweat. I felt sticky and uncomfortable wishing for a nice cool shower. Peeta kept up with my pace not complaining as the terrain changed from clear to wild and heavy underbrush. I knew his leg ached but he didn't utter a word but walked along side me. It felt like we were back in the arena the first time. Just the two of us alone trekking in the woods trying to stay alive.

We took a half hour break during lunch eating berries I picked along the way. It blended well with the cheese buns Peeta divided between us. We didn't know how long we would be in the forest before we were rescued or found our way back to civilization. So we ration the food we packed. Along the way, I found medicinal plants that I rubbed on Peeta's sore and aching leg. He had landed on it roughly causing the prosthesis to pinch and jab his limb. A few minutes later, he sighed in relief as the healing nutrient worked into his skin.

Every few miles, Peeta was looking around him. I felt his uneasiness and discomfort. "Not real, not real," he whispered.

"What's wrong? You want to stop? Is your leg hurting?" I bombarded him with questions. He kept to himself and it bothered me. If he was hurting he would never tell me, feeling as though he was a burden to me. It didn't help that I lost patience with him the day before. I was scared and frustrated with our situation.

"Nothing, I'm having flashes of memory, I think," he scrunched his face. "I can't help but feel like I should know this place." I nodded my head in understanding since I felt it too. Like as if I was walking back into a bad dream.

I stared at Peeta. He held a long staff in his hand that he carved by himself during a break. It helped him traverse the uneven ground, steadying his steps. He was filthy, smeared with dirt and sweat gleaming on his face and skin. The ground evened out as I heard Peeta sigh in relief. Suddenly, I stopped and looked around me.

"What's wrong Katniss?" he asked with concern on his face. I glanced at the trees and bushes surrounding us. It looked familiar.

"Peeta does this place remind you of someplace?" He turned in a complete circle then stopped. With his free hand he rubbed his palms on his pants then reached for a knife in his backpack. A look passed on his face as if it dawned on him what I had discovered. He sighed.

"I didn't know if I was imaging it."

"Why didn't you say anything?" I blustered.

"I…I thought that I was just remembering a false memory. I didn't know if it was real," he admitted.

"Oh my God, Peeta," I exclaimed. "This looks exactly like the woods in our first arena." I pushed my legs and darted to a familiar path. "Come on, follow me." I ran in a pace I knew that Peeta could catch up to. I didn't want to lose him as anticipation and hope filled me.

"Where are you going?" he yelled from behind me. After several yards, we cleared the forest to find the river exactly like the one in the arena. "Oh my God, Katniss. Is this real?"

"It's real. I think the woods were based on District 3 foliage. How else did I guess that this would be here? Come on." I ran towards the water praying that Gale was nowhere in sight. It was déjà vu as I remembered the sight before me. Flashes of memories filled my mind. I felt the fear and excitement return remembering tracking down Peeta. Hoping he was still alive when the Gamekeepers changed the conditions of the game.

As I reached a familiar slope, I descended down the river following the water that led to a waterfall. "Oh my God, Peeta. Look." I pointed at it. It was beautiful and majestic as large trees and rock formations surrounded it.

"Where are you going?" he yelled as I tread through the water. The water was cool and comforting. It swished around my legs reaching my kneecaps. I extended my hand. He grabbed it.

I led him to the waterfall walking through cascade of water and entered through a small opening right behind the fall. We were soaking wet when we reached the end of the damp cool cave. On the stony interior were patches of fluorescent moss that lit the cave in an eerie green color. "We can take break here. We're safe."

"Let's get out of these clothes and clean up after ourselves," Peeta suggested. "I'm dying for a hot bath but this will do." He removed our packs as I stripped myself from my shirt and pants. I wished for a bar of soap but this was better than I expected. At least we could get clean in privacy without Gale catching us. I stood before Peeta with only a pair of soaking wet panties and bra that clung to my skin.

"You need to take those off too, Katniss. They'll never get dry." Ordinarily, I would have been embarrassed and screamed at him for suggesting the idea to be completely nude in front of him. But he was my boyfriend and my lover. He had seen me naked more times than I can count with both hands. The thought of his naked body sent a chill up my spine but the need to remove my filthy and stinky clothes outweighed my desire and lust for him. There was time for that later.

We stood besides the fall washing our bodies with cold water. It was intimate and relaxing to be with him that way without a stitch of clothing between us. After a few minutes of cleansing ourselves, Peeta reached out and grabbed me by the waist. He held me for several minutes relishing his warm body against mine. It was a gesture of comfort not out of lust or desire. We felt safe if only momentarily. "Do you need help to brush out your hair?" he asked me as he rifled his fingers through my wet locks.

He discovered an activity he enjoyed doing during one of our showers together. Peeta would run his long fingers down my strands, separating the tangles through his fingertips. He loved the texture and length of my hair. I then taught him to braid it into one single braid. Just the way he liked it. When we were in bed together he would fan my locks on the pillow beneath my head, telling me that he loved the way it spread on the pillow like sunbeams.

"_A painting or drawing can never capture the way you look right now," he said one night as he hovered over my, his body nestled between my legs._

Sitting on a rock with his shirt used as a cushion, Peeta braided my hair without a brush or a comb. "I did the best I could," he winced. I kissed his cool cheek in gratitude.

"I feel so much better now that we washed ourselves," I admitted. Our clothes were spread out on a rock to dry. We slipped onto a new pair of pants and shirt that Peeta had packed in our duffel bag. He's resourceful and smart for thinking ahead. "Do you think you're up to hunting for our dinner now?"

"We're not going to move forward, keep moving until we find help?"

"I'm tired of the long trek we had," I answered him. "I think we walked at least 15 miles yesterday and at least 10 since this morning. Let's rest today and start again tomorrow."

"But what about Haymitch and everyone? They'll be worried sick about us."

"I know they are," I cringed at his logic. Haymitch and everyone must be beside themselves with worry. But I didn't have the heart to tell him the real reason why I wanted to stay put. Peeta was limping, badly. He was in pain from hurling his body off the train.

He never admitted it when he died hitting the force field during the last arena. You don't come out of that kind of experience without sustaining some kind of damage. Finnick admitted to me that Peeta was hiding his pain from me when I left him to watch over Beetee.

* * *

**_Flashback ––_**

_The dining area was empty. It was the only place I knew that wouldn't be populated at the late hour. Dinner was over three hours ago and I usually spent my free time with Prim, but I couldn't rest and I felt anxious. I needed space away people. Prim's presence and comforting words were fleeting as fear and worry filled my mind thinking of Annie, Johanna and Peeta. I heard his voice before he sat next to me startling me from my concentration._

"_Peeta had heart palpitations after he hit the force field. He lost his hearing on right his ear for a while and he had a network of burns all over his body." Finnick said to me out of the blue. He had a piece of rope between his fingertips. "He felt numb on the left side of his body."_

"_Why didn't he say anything to me?" I sobbed into tears._

"_He said he didn't want to worry you and you already had to much on your mind, Katniss," he confessed. "He didn't want to burden you. To look at him for being weak and stupid."_

"_He isn't stupid, but he's an idiot," I laughed in anguish. "I should have known he would have side effects from hitting the force field."_

"_Peeta would have never had told you anything. No matter how much pain he was in, he would have never said anything to anyone, especially you."_

"_But you knew because he told you," I accused him with a tone of anger in my voice._

"_He didn't', Katniss." He looked at me with sad but understanding eyes. "I've seen the effects of what lightning does to your body if you're struck by it. He never said anything to me. But I did call him on it. I told him I knew he was suffering."_

**_End of flashback ––_**

* * *

Pain was something Peeta was accustomed to just as I was. I lived in pain for years after my father passed away. I never told anyone. I suffered through it alone because I was busy trying to keep Prim alive and safe.

"I know they're worried but…I can't walk another mile and I'm hungry for some rabbit or squirrel." I swore never to lie to him again, but this was different. He was lying to me by omission. He was hurt and in pain. I detected a sigh of relief when he took a long cleansing breath. "Can we stay here for a while? We can start again tomorrow, I promise. I want to rest for a bit today." Peeta would never deny me anything.

"Okay." I walked over to him and hugged him tight against me.

"Whatever you want or need, Katniss," he whispered in my ear.

"You know that I would anything for you, Peeta," I told him. "Anything. You make me happy."

"Even while we're being hunted down in Gale's version of his Hunger Game?" he teased me, touching the end of my braid in affection. He was teasing me but underneath it he had hidden his insecurity and fears. If I had to reassure for the rest of my life, I'd gladly and wholeheartedly do it.

Three hours later, we returned to our temporary haven with two rabbits and bag full of berries. Along the way I also gathered the medicinal leaves for Peeta's aching limbs. When he saw me he leaned over and kissed my cheek. It was chaste and short as he placed an arm over my shoulders. "You're the best and sexiest girlfriend ever," he praised me. I blushed at his compliment.

"Peeta, I've been your only girlfriend," I gushed back.

He squeezed my shoulder. "Then that makes me pretty lucky that I got it right the first time."

We ate dinner side by side needing the comfort of each other's presence. The air turned chilly within seconds as the sun kissed the horizon. We afforded ourselves the luxury to have an open fire since we were hidden inside the cave. I sat in front of Peeta nestled between his legs with arms around me. I'm warm and full of dinner snuggled against the love of my life. When said 'love of my life' winced behind me when I shifted in his warm embrace.

"What's wrong? And don't say you're fine."

"I'm just a little sore from all the walking today," he admitted. I turned around facing him.

"Take off your pants," I ordered him. He had a look of surprise on his face.

"Katniss, I don't think that it's a good idea that we––"

"Not like that," I snorted as reached over to unbutton his pants. Peeta grabbed my hands away from his waist. "I want to see your leg."

"No, don't do that. I'll do it." He shivered then shifted as he lifted his butt and slid his pants off him. I ignored the tent forming in his boxer shorts. Since becoming sexually active with each other, it didn't take much to turn him on. I praised the high heavens that his time with Eva didn't permanently scar him mentally. "Sorry," he whispered. "I can't help it when you touch me sometimes."

"It's all right, Peeta," I reassured him by placing a hand his upper thigh avoiding his erection. "I feel the same way when you touch me too." Fortunately, as soon as I detached his prosthesis his erection waned while Peeta sighed in relief. The skin around his stump was red and swollen. "Oh, Peeta." I leaned down and kissed his sore leg.

Getting up on my feet, I walked over and grabbed a handful of leaves I gathered hours before. I sat in front of him and placed his stump on my lap. With a wet cloth I massaged his leg for a few minutes then wrapped the leaves around it. With downcast eyes, Peeta watched me in awe and appreciation as I showered him with some TLC on his swollen leg.

When I was done playing nursemaid, he snatched my hand. "Thank you. You're best girlfriend ever," he reiterated. We quickly put his pants back on since the air dipped lower in temperature.

"Lie down," I instructed him. Peeta placed his duffel bag on the ground to serve as a pillow for his head. As soon as he was horizontal, I slid next to him placing my head on his chest. We lay there for a few minutes as the last two days events rushed back in my thoughts. I wanted alone time with Peeta but this was not what I expected with Gale on our heels.

I sighed in melancholy of the old times I shared with Gale. He was lost to me the moment I volunteered for Prim. I fought every inch of the way to not let the games changed me or change my life, but it did. Peeta Mellark happened and he changed me; Peeta, the boy who once saved me from starvation and brought me hope for the first time.

The soft thumping of his heartbeat lulled to me sleep.

"Katniss?"

"Hmm…what?" I murmured as I fought to stay awake.

"It's like déjà vu being here with you in this cave, you know?" He said while he rubbed his hand up and down my back. I smiled and shifted around fitting me just right with my head nestled at the crook of his neck. We were a perfect fit.

"I know. I thought about that too," I admitted as I placed a hand on his chest.

"I guess were back to full circle. Back to the place where it all began for us."

I wondered if this was a sign, to remind us that this was where it started and that we were fated to be together. That it was no coincidence that we were right back in a small cave where our relationship started in front of the entire country while we fought to stay alive. That the hunger I felt was love but was too oblivious to have realized it.

"Go to sleep," Peeta said as he placed a kiss on my forehead. We were safe for now and I wanted to relish it. Tomorrow was a new day.

_**AN: Thank you for reading this chapter. I will be updating in the beginning of the week [Monday, Tuesday, or Wed.] instead of the end of the week like I have in the past. Thanks again for your patience and resilience in continuing to read my story. Have a great weekend.**_

_**AN2: Thanks also to those you have liked, shared and shown interest for my brother's book, "Attack of the Peacekeepers." You're support and best wishes are appreciated. My eternal thanks to you all. **_


	52. Chapter 52 - Cat and Mouse

Chapter 52 – Cat and Mouse

_AN: My deepest apologies for only having updated twice last month. I've been very busy helping my sister through her radiation treatments, promoting my brother's book, and trying to get all my work done before the holidays. Thanks for my faithful reviewers [Trude, Lillian, Manaliac, Matainer, Yepperz and LACR] Your comments are always appreciated. Hunger Games and characters belong to Suzanne Collins. Any mistakes found are mine. Now, on with the show._

* * *

**Alec POV ––**

The concussion from the blast propelled me backwards causing me to hit the ground. My head, shoulders and back ached from the impact. "Arghh, that hurts." I haven't felt this kind of pain since the rebellion. Memories of those months flitted in my mind.

Recovering from my injuries was slow and painful but I had survived it all. Then, I went and volunteered for this. _'I'm an idiot,'_ my inner monologue chastised me. I thought I stars in my eyes as the radius of blast blinded me for a few seconds. Why am I here again instead of helping rebuild Peeta's bakery. _'I volunteered, remember?'_

I hoped that both Rory and Johanna are okay. Damn I hate Hawthorne. I mean Gale Hawthorne. Rory was unfortunate enough to be related to him. Poor kid. I knew what I was getting myself into when I received a call from Haymitch Abernathy yesterday. It was memorable and an honor when he requested for my help. Why would I volunteer to help? I couldn't really tell you without revealing my true intentions.

* * *

_**Flashback ––**_

_The smell of sawdust and plaster filled my nostril. I leaned over the floor plan while I made tiny adjustment for Peeta to approve. I was surprised and honored that he had chosen me to help him with the building of his bakery. For the past few weeks Peeta had given me the responsibility of overseeing the construction as well as picking out the equipment, with his approval, of course. It was an overwhelming task since I had never had this kind of responsibility or experience. I'm a baker not a builder._

"_You're going to work here, Alec," Peeta reminded me. "You might as well get familiar with the plans of the building and the equipment. And think of it this way, if this was yours what would you want, to make it workable and a place that people would visit and buy your bread." He trusted my instincts and since we were both bakers he knew what was expected to rebuild it._

"_I really am thankful for giving me this opportunity, Peeta," I responded back over the phone line. "I wasn't sure if your offer was real." I heard rumors of his generous nature and sweet disposition. That once you meet Peeta Mellark, you either wanted to fuck him or be his best friend. Or as other women have stated, they'd do both._

"_I mean what I say, Alec. Besides, I hope that I could leave the bakery in your capable hands every once in a while."_

"_You'll never regret hiring me, Peeta," I promised him._

_For several weeks since their departure I had worked every day checking equipment, taking inventory and overseeing the construction. It was far more difficult than I realized. I didn't want to disappoint Peeta. I mean we're talking about Peeta Mellark, the 74__th__ Hunger Game Victor and the other half of the Star-Crossed Lovers of District 12. Many of the citizens of Panem had written him off as a traitor to the Districts and most of all, Katniss Everdeen. But after watching him during his interviews I knew there was more than what was televised as I watched him physically disintegrated before my eyes._

_He was abused and tortured in the Capitol. No amount of makeup and flashy clothes could hide his skinny frame and bruises. They were slowly killing him. Panem loved him for his devotion to Katniss. Then the rampant rumors that he tried to kill her after his recue due to his hijacking made him feared as well. I never would have thought of him a hero type, but after surviving what he endured and had to live with his episodes, you can't help but admire him. What historian will write about in years to come only time will tell. He's both hero and villain in some eyes. Both he and Katniss never set out in the world to change it. They just wanted to survive the games and not make history for all of Panem to remember. _

_So, imagine my surprise when he approached me after the baking competition asking if I was willing to work for him. I took his offer with no reservation or ill will since I lost to him. I knew I lost after seeing his beautiful decorated cake and eating his cheese buns. There was no doubt that the best man won. I still have yet to perfect the scrumptious bread myself._

"_Hey, Alec," Thom called out to me holding a receiver in his hand. "Can you stop for a moment? I need to talk to you." Since living in District 12, I have built a new life for myself in the new district. There was no going back to the life I left as a former rebel during the war against the Capitol. I had hoped to come back to my family business only to return home and find that my father sold the bakery. They didn't expect me to come after the war. It stung that they thought that, but what else could I do. I was homeless, out of job and directionless. Then the baking competition happened. It was blessing in disguise for it would led to the most kindest and warmest people I have ever known. District 12 citizen called them the Victor Circle. It consisted of Haymitch Abernathy, Effie Trinket, Delly Cartwright, Bron Masters, Johanna Mason, Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen. They were a close-knit family that loved and protected each other. You could see it in the way they interacted and spoke to one another. If you saw one, you saw another next to them. They never walked or appeared alone in public. They were fierce in their protection and support with one another. I long to have that kind of kinship or relationship. I envied them._

"_I'm sorry to pull you away from work but there is someone who's been looking for you." He extended his mobile receiver to me. I accepted it with great trepidation._

"_Hello."_

"_Hello, Alec. This is Haymitch Abernathy," he announced himself. His tone was dull and serious. I knew that there had to be something wrong and it had something to do with Peeta._

"_Mr. Abernathy?" I voiced into the phone. "Is something wrong?"_

"_Call me Haymitch. Listen, I know that Peeta wanted you to oversee his bakery but I need your help." Surprised and honored, I was silent for a few seconds. Haymitch Abernathy needed my help? Wow. It must be really important for him to seek out a complete stranger._

"_I have to believe that there's a reason why Peeta would let you even get near his bakery let alone want to hire you. So, I'm going against my instinct. He trusts you for some reason and if he can then I'm not going to question it. The kid has been good in judging people's character so…"_

"_Okay, how can I help you, Haymitch?" I asked him. "Does this have anything to do with Peeta?" Excitement and fear bubbled inside me._

"_Peeta and Katniss are in trouble and I need you help." That was all he had to say and I was committed to help him._

_**End of flashback ––**_

* * *

Once he finished his explanation, I called Mara, packed my bags and took the first train to District 4. The fact that he also said that Johanna was alone with Rory motivated me. Since my arrival at District 12, I had become good friends with Thom and Greasy Sae. The weeks during the constructing of the bakery helped me developed a friendship with Thom. Twice a week we would meet up at the local bar and have a drink. He would regale me stories of Peeta, Katniss and surprisingly Gale. Between shots and mugs of beer he told stories of all their lives back in the District before it was bombed. Then, one night of too much beer and whiskey, he drunkenly admitted watching and reporting to Gale of Katniss' activities and relationship with Peeta. I didn't understand at first what he was talking about. I thought that Katniss was with Peeta. And who the hell was Gale Hawthorne to Katniss?

After his confession, I learned of Gale's obsession with Peeta. How he had assumed that he was taking advantage of Katniss' vulnerability in losing her sister, Prim. Gale convinced Thom that Peeta would hurt her because of his hijacking. Then, he broke down and confessed that Gale lied to him and had hurt Peeta. It was more revelation and confession I could handle since I had admired Gale Hawthorne from afar.

My admiration for him turned to disgust after learning of his duplicitous and monstrous behavior towards my soon-to-be boss. However, it made me look up to Peeta more even if he was younger than me by four years. I couldn't help but admire him for watching over people he loved and cared for.

It was actually Peeta who asked me to watch over Sae and Tamryn while he was away. How could I not returned the favor since had pretty much given me a new lease in life? He said that it was important to him that I watch over them. I didn't ask why. So, I introduced myself to Sae in hope to develop a friendship with her and her granddaughter, Tamryn.

After a couple of visits, Sae saw through my deception and called me on it.

"_You know, Alec. I know that Peeta sent you. To watch over my granddaughter and me," she said one morning when I visited them with my batch of Cheese Buns. "It's not necessary but I do appreciate it." I laughed and touched the back of my neck knowing I was caught. _

"_Peeta was worried and I wanted to help him in any way I can."_

"_I can take care of Tamryn and myself, Alec," she stated._

"_He said you would say that to me once you found out," I said in a sheepish manner._

"_He also said that he would rest easy knowing that you were being looked after."_

"_It's okay, young man. I expected it from him." She chuckled at my uneasiness of being caught. "I don't mind as long as you keep bringing the Cheese Buns."_

I'm on my back and feeling the hard ground beneath me, I clenched my teeth. "I fucking hate you, Hawthorne." Then, after gathering my bearing I remembered Johanna and Rory. I sat up on my forearms and lifted my aching body off the ground. I shook my head and raised myself onto my feet feeling wobbly and light-headed. "Johanna. Rory," I called out.

I shook my head. There was dust floating in the air making it difficult to see what's in front of me. "Johanna?" I cried out. My voice was hoarse as I tried not to inhale the dust around me.

Suddenly, a knife appeared across my throat. Shit. It was Hawthorne. "I don't know who you are, but since you're with that bitch Mason, I assume you're a friend of Mellark." He wrapped a long arm across my chest. Gale Hawthorne is a tall man. His height played to his advantage using me as a shield as his brother Rory came into view.

He had his rifle cocked and aimed at us. I didn't know if I should be relieved or worried. After all, it was his brother who has held me hostage. I could see the family resemblance. They had the same eyes, hair and eye color. They even had he same hairstyle. It was as if I was seeing Gale's twin.

"Put the knife down, Gale," Rory said to his older brother, his voice cracked. I could see fear and insecurity in his young eyes. He looked small despite his height, which matched the older Hawthorne.

"I can't believe you'd do this to me, Rory" he seethed in anger. The sight of his younger brother only made him angrier as Gale's grip tightened his arm around my chest and his knife knick my skin. I felt a trail of blood run down my neck. My head felt fuzzy and body sore so the reality of the situation had stunned me for a bit. Damnit, this was not what I wanted to do but I knew the risks when I volunteered to help Haymitch.

"I'm going to get you for this Rory," Gale promised. "After everything I've done for you, after sacrificing and taking care of you back in 12, this…" The knife pressed harder into my skin. "…is how you repay me?"

I could see Rory's Adam's apple moved up and down his throat. The comment hurt him as pain and sadness etched his young face. "You lied to me about your relationship with Katniss. You're hurt Peeta."

"Why would you care?" Gale roared in return.

"He's done anything to you." He lowered his rifle and stepped forward.

"That fucking prick took everything from me," Gale answered back. "He took the only thing I ever wanted. He stole Katniss from me."

"She was never yours to begin with." Rory sighed in frustration. "You need to face the facts she never wanted you that way. She loved you, but she's in love with Peeta."

"He brainwashed her. She wanted me in 13."

"Prim said that she needed Peeta and not you. She said that Katniss was lost in 13 without him."

"No, she felt guilty for leaving him behind. She told me," Gale said.

"She told herself that, but she didn't even realize that she loved him," Rory continued. "Prim said that even Katniss never knew she loved him until she thought she lost him in the arena."

"No, she was mine. She's confused and vulnerable. And now he tainted her. It sickens me knowing that he touched her." His hand gripped my shoulder as his fingernails dug through my shirt. Sweat poured down my forehead. It didn't help that the sun was beating on top of us making the air thick and warm.

"From what I can tell she enjoyed every minute of it," I wheezed as his knife dug deeper on my throat." _'Shut the hell up,'_ my mind scolded me. _'Good move, Baylor.'_

"You shut the fuck up or I'll cut your throat out!" he screamed into my ear.

"You need to stop this, Gale. Please. Think of mom, Vic and Posy," he started. "Think of how they will feel when they find out what you've done. What you having been doing to Peeta."

"Why would they care? I'm your brother. You should be helping me instead of Peeta. He doesn't even know you."

"No, he's doesn't, but since I've known him he's been nothing but kind to me. Unlike you, Gale."

"Well then. I guess since he's been so 'kind' to you, I'll step aside," he mimicked Rory. "Fuck you, little brother. When I get my hands on him, he's dead and Katniss will be mind forever," he roared. I couldn't believe that Gale Hawthorne would end up like some obsessed, rejected lover. I mean I heard the rumors of all the women he bed in the Capitol and Districts 1 and 2. Sheesh, the guy had everything, good looks; a penthouse suite in District 2 and a great job awarded by President Paylor herself. So what more could he ask for?

"Please stop, Gale. You're sick and need help," Rory said back. "I know that you're using and it changed you. You're addiction changed you. How do you think Dad will feel learning how you turned out?"

"Shut up and stop talking about Dad," he returned.

"He'd be so ashamed of you––"

"No, he'd be proud of me. I'm a somebody in Panem. Everyone knows who I am."

Distracted with Rory, I elbowed Gale sharp onto his stomach knowing that the black uniform he wore was reinforced with metallic mesh. It was a risky move but I had to try.

The move startled him causing him to stumble back. I tucked and rolled from him. It gave me ample time to distance myself. I stood up fast and faced him. Gale recovered as he held the knife in front of him.

"Shoot him, Rory," I demanded as I unsheathed a knife from my ankle holster.

Rory faced his brother, his rifle aimed at him. "You'll never shoot me," Gale returned with a big smile on his face. "I'm still your brother and you'd never hurt me."

"Like the way you didn't hurt me at the hospital?" Rory answered back. "You are my brother and I looked up to you. But I'm not going to let you hurt anyone anymore. Put the knife down and––"

Gale pulled his arm back and threw the knife at Rory. Rory fired missing him as the knife lodge on his upper left arm. The hit caused him to release the rifle from his grasp. The rifle fell on the ground in front of him. I ran towards Rory fast. When I picked up the rifle, Gale sprinted behind the building. I was faced with three options. Go help Rory. Find Johanna and see if she was badly hurt or chase after Gale. My heart decided for me.

"Rory are you okay?" I asked as I turned to him. Rory pulled the knife off his upper arm. Blood seeped through his clothes.

"I can't believe he threw the knife at me?" There was disbelief and shock on his face. His lips trembled as tears ran down his cheeks. "He hit me with his knife." I looked at his wound ripping the sleeve. It wasn't a deep cut since the mesh took most of the impact, but it was enough to leave a one-inch wound. He looked past me probably watching his brother leave the scene.

"Here, hold onto his," I instructed as I grabbed his right hand. Quickly and without thought, I cleaned and dressed his wound wrapping it as best I could. "We need to get you to a hospital." I tied the cloth making sure I applied pressure.

"No, I'm okay." Rory wiped the tears from his face with the back of his hand. After the shock wore off, he was quiet and sad realizing that his own brother almost killed him. It was a reality he couldn't comprehend. "My own brother tried to kill me."

"For what it's worth, Rory. I don't think he realizes what he's doing. There's pain behind his anger." I knew what kind of pain and anger Gale felt. I felt it too. The war was devastating but necessary. We were free to live our own lives and not under Snow's tyranny. No one ruled us anymore. No more children were sacrificed and used as entertainment. "You had to have realized that who you saw before you isn't your brother anymore. The guy that threw the knife at you wasn't your brother anymore." I looked at Rory for a moment. "You're right though, he does need help."

"I don't understand what happened to him," Rory continued. "He wasn't the only one that lost someone during the war. I lost someone special too." There was bitterness and resentment in his words. I wondered whom he lost.

"People handle loss and grief differently. Gale turned to drugs to ease his pain." I wasn't making excuses for Gale. I wanted Rory to understand his brother's pain and anger.

"Peeta lost more than most. He lost a leg from the first game. The Capitol captured and tortured him. He was hijacked too. Then he didn't have a home anymore and he also lost his entire family when the Capitol bombed District 12," he listed. "But you don't see him turning to drugs. You don't see him turning away from people who love him. I can't understand what happened to him." Rory was lost, angry and frustrated. "I just want my brother back." I didn't know what else to say to him. Words were meaningless coming from me. I'm a complete stranger to him.

"You're fine now but once the adrenaline wears off you're going to feel pain. A lot of pain," I told him. His wound wasn't serious but he needed stitches to close it and get proper medication. Then, I remembered Johanna. "Oh my God, where's Johanna?"

"I don't know." Rory looked mournful and confused. I couldn't stay and hold his hand any longer.

I stood up and looked around me. About 25 yards near the track, I saw Johanna's prone body on the ground. I ran ignoring the pain radiating from my lower right leg. Once I reached her, she was still. Her hair was singed from the blast as well as her duffel bag. I turned her body over carefully since I don't what kind of injuries she sustained from the explosion. I unbuttoned the first top three buttons on her shirt and I pressed my ear to her chest finding her heartbeat. She wore a black tank top underneath her shirt.

"Ouch," I exclaimed as I'm propelled backwards from her inert body. With her tiny hands she pushed me back hard against my chest.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Johanna shouted as she sat up and button her shirt close. She looked around for her rifle. Her eyes were wide from surprise and anger.

"I'm sorry. I was just checking for your heartbeat."

"Take a pulse on my wrist next time. I don't ever want you placing your hand or anything part of your body on me, ever," she seethed in anger. She reached into her ankle and pulled out a knife from her ankle holster. The knife was sharp with a long thick blade.

"Sorry." I stood up and stepped back. She had dirt and debris on her angry face. Her eyes were cold and menacing. She looked beautiful to me with dirt on her dark clothes and her hair in disarray. Johanna walked a few feet away from me. Her reaction stung but I should have expected it. She doesn't know me. She replaced her knife back into her ankle.

"Damnit," she shouted as she reached to the back of her head. "It took me forever to grow my hair back." She pulled out the band of her ponytail. Her hair cascaded on her face framing her delicate features. Removing her backpack, she dropped it onto the ground and reached inside it. With one hand she placed a cap between her knees then she reached up and pulled the remains of her long hair back into a ponytail. She looked young wearing it up like that. Once she was done, she placed a cap on her head hiding her short burnt locks. She looked adorable to me. _'Sheesh, Baylor, keep it together,_' I reminded myself. No need for her to realize that you're was crushing on her.

"Did you get Hawthorne?" she asked me, startling me from my daydream.

"What?" I said like some love-struck schoolboy.

"I'm sorry, Commander," Rory spoke out breaking the tension between us. I had forgotten about him as he stood beside me. "I couldn't…"

"God damnit. Where the hell did he go?" She picked up her backpack and walked passed me. "What happened?"

I explained the situation to her. She wasn't pleased of the outcome. "So in other words, he's out there…looking…hunting for Peeta and Katniss while we're…" She stopped and took a deep breath and muttered to herself.

"What is she doing?" Rory asked, perplexed at Johanna's behavior. She had her eyes closed and her lips were moving while she continued to breath through her nose.

"I think she's counting…or praying." I dared not interrupt her.

When she was done, she took another cleansing breath and opened her eyes. She looked passed Rory and me. "What direction did Gale go?" she asked in a resigned manner. The tone was unnerving. For a moment she was manic and loud then the next she was calm and quiet.

"He went that way." Rory pointed towards the open field next to the terminal. "He got on a hover bike and went that way." She adjusted her pack and rifle onto herself.

"Let's go. If you can't catch up, you're on your own."

"Johanna, wait," I insisted. "I need to call for an emergency evac for Rory." She looked at the young teen. "He needs medical attention."

"Are you in pain?" she asked. Rory shook his head. "Is the cut deep enough that you can't continue?" He shook his head again as he lay a hand over his bandaged arm. "Then you're fine and good to go."

"No but––" I started.

"He'll live," Johanna added as she stepped forward. I blocked her way to get her attention. I knew she focused and was driven to find her friends but Rory still needed to be looked after.

"Johanna––"

"You listen to me, Baylor." I winced as she said my last name with icy formality. She was back to her cool and standoffish behavior. _'What was I thinking,'_ I said inside my head; that I would rescue her and sweep her of her feet like some big hero who needed to save a damsel in distress. This is Johanna Mason after all. I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up saving me.

"He's a big boy. He knew what he was getting himself into. I'd rather have him with me then leave him out here for Gale to influence him. I don't know any of you nor do I trust you. Keep up or get left behind. The longer you delay me the further Gale gets closer to finding Peeta and Katniss."

Johanna bumped my shoulder to get past me. I flinched from the impact. She was a radiant angel with a sword in her hand and fire in her veins. I felt heat rise from my face admiring her as she walked away. Such passion was alluring and I was drawn to it. If given a chance she would consume me body and soul. Is this love or lust? Rory stared at me wondering what to do as I ogled after Johanna.

"Alec?"

"Huh, sorry, Come on, Rory," I started. "You heard her. Let's go." I have never met a woman like Johanna Mason. Her tough exterior intrigued me. But despite that I couldn't help but admire and be attracted by her personality and demeanor. I followed her like a lost and eager puppy with my tail between my legs. How pathetic.

We had been walking for three hours straight when I felt a tinged of pain on my lower right calf. It had been mild at first until we were walking nonstop causing my leg muscle to ache and flutter. We stopped twice for a water and bio break.

"Johanna, we need to take a break," I panted. Rory looked relieved at my request and waited for a response, but Johanna kept walking.

"Johanna?"

"I heard you, Baylor," she answered back. "We'll take a break during lunch."

"And when will that be?"

"In another hour," she returned.

"Johanna, we passed lunch an hour ago," I explained as I looked at the sun floating above us. Since leaving the terminal our walk was quiet and fast paced. I didn't know where we were heading and never questioned the direction she led us. I had assumed she knew where we were going. "We need to take a break. We're no good to Peeta and Katniss if we drive ourselves to the ground."

"Just another hour," she insisted.

"No, we need to stop now." I raised my hand and placed it on her shoulder. She shook it off. _'Okay, don't touch,' _I reminded myself. _'Why not? Peeta touches her all the time? Well, maybe it's because you're not Peeta, idiot.'_ The conversation in my head ran rampant. _'She doesn't know you or trust you, remember?'_

"Please?" I begged her. I wasn't about to admit to her that my leg hurt from all the walking. "Ten minutes at least. It won't hurt to stop for ten minutes." I hoped the tone in my voice didn't make me sound desperate.

"Fine." She stopped and leaned against a wide tree trunk. "For ten minutes and not a minute longer." I sat down on a fallen log across her. She looked uneasy at our proximity during the walk that I kept my distance behind her. Rory sat down next to me and reached for his water container.

"Don't drink all of that, Rory. We don't know if we'll find water anytime soon. So ration it," she instructed him. Rory took a couple of sips and closed his canteen.

"Do you know where we are?" he asked as water dripped from his lips.

"Yes," she answered but didn't elaborate.

"How do you even know where they're heading?" I finally asked, as my curiosity was peaked.

"Since you're never been in the arena, let me tell you the first rule you learn in the games," she informed me. "One, you need to find water. You can catch game in the woods or gather berries but water is critical. Katniss and Peeta will be looking for a body of water whether it's a lake or river. Preferably a river."

"Why a river?" Rory asked. I knew the answer.

"Most towns in the districts are power by water. If you walk along a river, it might lead you to civilization."

"Oh, I didn't know that."

"It's the first thing you need to find if you want to survive in woods," Johanna added. She looked uneasy and troubled. I have never seen that look of…fear in her eyes before.

"Johanna, are you okay?" I asked her. "You know, Peeta and Katniss are going to be okay. I mean, they been in worse situations." Yeah, like two Hunger Games to be exact. "Just like Haymitch said, if they're together, they'll be fine." I wanted to comfort her. She appeared lost for a few minutes. I didn't understand her relationship with Peeta. They were close and anyone who saw them together could see it. It was his close relationship to Johanna and Delly Cartwright that started the gossip of his infidelity and for betraying Katniss.

When Peeta came back to District 12, the rumor was that Johanna took Peeta as her lover. He betrayed Katniss after the last arena. It explained why he was in the Capitol while Katniss hid with the rebels. It was all untrue because anyone can see that the bond and relationship between Peeta and Katniss was stronger than ever. It was obvious in the way they gravitated towards each other in public. There was love there between them. It was apparent in the way they held each other's hand or a look that passed between them. I envied them since I longed to have that kind of connection with the woman I love.

"I just want to find Peeta and Katniss. And, I have to…" She looked at Rory. "I need to find Gale and finish this once and for all." Rory looked down on the ground avoiding Johanna's stare.

I remembered Haymitch's parting words before I left.

"_Those people out there, Johanna, Peeta and Katniss, they mean the world to me. You damn sure better get them home to me safe and sound. And…if you have to…do what is necessary to ensure their safety, you will do anything…I mean anything to keep them alive. Do you understand me, Alec?" he said. _

_I swore and promised Haymitch to do whatever it took to get them home safe and alive._

"_I'm expecting to attend a toasting in the near future," he continued. "They deserve to have a happy ending after all this." I nodded my head understanding to whom he was referring to. "And if by chance if Johanna…finds happiness with a guy who's willing to love her like Peeta loves Katniss. He will have both Peeta's and my blessing." My throat felt dry and words failed me._

I blushed at his assumption but didn't deny it. I was attracted to Johanna and I always had been since watching her during the games. She mesmerized me. And after meeting her, she was more than I ever expected.

"Come on, it's ten minutes already," she announced. Then out of nowhere, a booming sound pierced the air. It sounded like an explosion. "What the hell…" We stopped, paralyzed and listened. Another explosion came two minutes later. "Shit." Johanna ran to the direction of the sound that was east of us.

"Johanna, stop," I shouted. She ignored my plea. "Damnit, wait up." For a small woman she was quick on her feet. She ran with the grace of a forest animal, her steps barely touching the ground. My calf burned from pain as I tried to keep up with her. Suddenly, she disappeared from my view. She screamed.

"Johanna!"

I stopped abruptly realizing that the ground below me disappeared as I was standing next to a cliff. I looked down to find Johanna clutching onto a vine, her feet dangling with a drop that estimated about 20 yards deep. Below her was a lake. The edges of the water streamed down to a river. Johanna's eyes were closed as she clung to the vine for her life. "Johanna?" I yelled at her. Placing my backpack down, I looked around. There wasn't anything to use for a rope for her to climb onto. "Johanna?"

She looked up. Fear and something else I didn't recognize was etched on her face. On my hands and knees I looked passed her at the water below. "Johanna, I think the water is deep. It's not too far for you to hurt yourself. You'll be okay––"

"No, no, no," she chanted to herself. "Not water, please. Get me…before I fall."

"Johanna. I don't have anything…there's no rope that I can throw down to you––" The vine she clung on to grew out of the cliff side. Otherwise, she would have easily climbed up on her own. At her position, she was a good 10 to 12 feet below us. She could easily drop down and swim to safety.

"Please Alec," she sobbed into tears. "I can't…I…don't make me fall into the water. I can't…I just can't." It broke my heart to see her in pain.

"Just let go and you'll be fine." She shook her head.

"I don't understand," I cried out to her. During the Quarter Quell, she swam like a fish with Finnick and the other tributes. Rory knelt next to me looking down the cliff.

"Oh shit," he cursed.

"Please Alec," she wailed in despair. Johanna gripped the vine tighter and closed her eyes. "Please…please…please."

"Alec, she's afraid of water," Rory explained.

"What?"

"Snow tortured her with water. Gale told me," he added. I knew she was held captive and tortured in the Capitol. But it never dawned on me the method they used to torture her. "We have to do something fast or she's going to get tired and fall." I knew of Johanna's physical strength, it was her mental state I was concerned with.

I racked my brain for a few seconds. "Take off your belt," I told Rory as I stood up and removed my own. He handed me his belt. "Now give me your extra shirt and pants."

"What?"

"Just do as I say, Rory." I was losing patience. "Just hold on, Johanna." I tied our clothes together to make a rope for her to climb on. It wasn't enough. I took the shirt off my back and my pants joined it. There I stood with my boxers and t-shirt in the middle of District 3 forest.

"Shit," I exclaimed. In my haste, I had forgotten to remove my shoes causing me to struggle and land on my sorry ass. Had the situation not been dire, I would have laughed at my clumsiness. I placed my shoes back on knowing that I would need traction to secure my feet onto dirt floor. The last thing we needed was for me to join her if I slipped on the ground.

At the end of my make shift rope, I looped the belts for her to slip into. I lowered it to her, "Johanna, grab onto the belt and see if you can loop it around you under your armpits," I instructed her.

When I knew she was secure, both Rory and I pulled the rope up. She appeared from the edge with tears in her eyes. "Johanna, you're okay now," I comforted her. She wrapped her arms around her waist as she trembled in place. I wanted to reach out and hold her, but she quickly walked over the trees behind us.

She sat by a large tree trunk. Johanna curled into a ball with her head resting on her knees and her arms wrapped around her legs. There were scratches all over her hands from clutching onto the thorny vines.

"Johanna," I called out to her again.

"Just leave me alone, I'm fine." Her words muffled as she mumbled onto to her legs. "Just give me a minute," she said, her voice was soft and strained. She cried to herself hiding her fear and eyes from us. Seeing her like this…vulnerable and inconsolable. I felt helpless wanting to go to her but I was afraid she wouldn't react well to my gesture of comfort. I envied Peeta's easy relationship with her. He would have easily taken her into his arms and she would have accepted his comfort and his embrace.

I redressed myself feeling uncomfortable standing in my boxer short and t-shirt. In the short amount of time it took me to dress myself, Johanna had calmed herself as she took deep breaths while she played with her necklace between her fingers. I wondered if it was a gift from Peeta. It was a stainless steel medallion with an etching of a flower. I couldn't tell what kind. But she held onto it like it was a lifeline.

After a few minutes, she swiped her face with the back of hands. Clearing her throat she said, "Let's go." Her demeanor was back to business. With wobbly legs, she stood up and adjusted her backpack. "We wasted enough time." She sniffled once then walked onward as if nothing had happened.

During the rest of the journey, I spied on her gauging her mood and disposition. There was heaviness in her steps. The mishap at the cliff shook her. She was far ahead of us so she couldn't hear my conversation with Rory. I made sure she was never from my sight.

"…Thom told me horrors stories of what they…the Capitol did to Peeta, Johanna and Annie Cresta," he shivered at the thought. "I mean, it was horrible; starvation, sleep depravation and being tied up while they tased them for information about the rebels." I winced at the images that flashed in my head. "They held Johanna underwater or waterboarded her by placing a cloth on her face and gagging her mouth while they poured buckets of water on her. They basically were drowning her."

"How long were they held captive?"

"Months….they were held for months before Coin approved for their rescue. It was miracle that all three of them survived," Rory continued. "So I can understand her fear of water. Thom said she can't handle being around large bodies of water, like a pond or lake. You should see her freaking out when she's near a tub full of water." Rory looked at Johanna with sadness. He's a good kid. It's a good thing he didn't turn out like his brother.

"Then, I'm glad she had Peeta with her for comfort." I couldn't fathom the idea of their abuse and torture. Would I have had survived if I was in their shoes? Suddenly, Johanna sprinted forward. "Johanna, wait up."

She ignored me and took off. Then, she stopped and dropped on her knees searching the ground. "What's wrong?"

On the ground was a metallic water canteen. The metal was mangled and twisted. I looked around to find evidence of an explosion as trees and plants were affected by the blast. "Look around," she commanded us fearing the worse. "They were just here."

"How do you know? This could have been here for months."

"I just know, okay," she hissed between clenched teeth. Here eyes looked wild with fright and anger. "They're in trouble. I can feel it." I didn't know whether to trust her intuition. Johanna was manic in her search for her friends. Maybe it was wishful thinking on her part. She continued to look around looking for clues or signs.

"Johanna, calm down."

"Calm down, my friends are in trouble and you want me to calm down?"

"I know you're worried and––"

"You know nothing about me, so fuck the lay off me," she said, her eyes narrowed hard as she breathed through her mouth. "I lost too many people in my life…I…I can't lose him too. I'm not going to lose him." She ranted. "He's all I have left."

"It's going to be all right, Johanna. Just stop for a few minutes and gather our thoughts, okay?" Her eyes kept searching our surroundings. Once again I wished there was something I could do to comfort her. "Where do you think they'll be heading?"

She thought for a moment. "Katniss and Peeta will be looking for high ground after looking water at the end of the day. They'll want to see what's around them. See if they can find a train in transit. It would give them a sense of direction. Where to go."

I looked at the horizon before me. There was a hillside, not to high to climb but one can manage to reach the top. "Gale might be thinking of that too. So…" Rory warned us. "He's familiar with these woods. It's basically his training grounds."

"So the explosions––" I asked.

"He designed an area with explosives. Not enough to kill anyone, but enough to scare the shit out of you and cause some damage," Rory added. "They're usually marked…we would be running down a course and they would detonate them to make us feel like we're in the middle of combat."

"That's…dangerous. Someone could get seriously hurt."

"Gale had complete control on how he trained us." He shrugged his shoulders. "He could do whatever he wanted."

"I just hope that Peeta and Katniss are okay," Johanna sighed.

"I bet you that he didn't plant explosives to scare Peeta and Katniss. He meant to kill them," I suggested. "Look at the radius of the explosion." Several trees were down and foliage obliterated. If what Johanna's assumption rang true then Peeta and Katniss was here not to long ago.

"Hey, look," Rory pointed to the landscape before us. "Is that smoke?"

"A forest fire?" I added. In the middle of the forest was smoke rising from a patch of trees.

"Whatever it is, let's take a look," Johanna said as she adjusted her pack and pulled out short length machete. It was sharp and deadly. "Just be on a lookout incase we encounter Gale." I swallowed the bile that rose from my throat. I had a bad feeling about this. I just hoped that my gut was wrong and we weren't walking right into a trap.

* * *

**Katniss POV ––**

I woke up feeling achy all over from lying on the cold, hard ground. Peeta was lightly snoring as I felt his chest rise and fall beneath my hand. My head was still lying on top of his chest as I realized that we had not budged an inch from last night. Even though we were in dire straits, this was the first time in days I felt at peace. Staying in the cave for safety brought back memories of the time we spent during the first games. It was in a cave similar to this one that had initiated my awareness of Peeta Mellark's attraction to me, that his feelings for me were real and true. No one could make up a story of a boy crushing on a girl since they were five unless it was true, and to admit it in front of the world to boot. It was incredulous.

However, I was not receptive or prepared for his affection as something real. My drive and motivation was to win the games and return to Prim, even if it meant using Peeta to achieve that goal. How I wished I could turn back time and responded differently. I sighed and smiled to myself enjoying the feel of Peeta's body next to mine.

The air turned chilly, as the fire had extinguished hours before. Beneath me Peeta whimpered in his sleep, his brows were furrowed and his mouth in a thin line. Suddenly, his head twisted from side to side. I knew he was having a nightmare. There were nights that he had them but he never woke me. He continued to keep this side of himself from me. It hurt that he hid them. Whenever I had a nightmare, he would gather me into his arms and hold me, whispering words of comfort and love until I fell back to sleep.

"Peeta, honey, wake up," I said to him while I rubbed my hand up and down his chest. "Peeta, you're having a bad dream." He opened his eyes as tears dripped down his cheeks. "Shh, hey, I'm right here. You're okay, Peeta." I kissed his forehead. His body was stiff and rigid as he blinked his eyes several times. "Peeta?"

"We're in a cave, hiding from Gale. Real or not real?" he asked.

"Real, Peeta, real." I placed my head on his chest listening to the rapid cadence of his heartbeat. He trembled as he wrapped both arms around me tight. "We're okay, Peeta." For now, for who knew what was in stored for us once we left the cave.

"I'm sorry if I woke you."

"You didn't. I was already up." I nestled deeper into his side straddling a leg over his. "I slept really good. I'm just sorry that you had a nightmare. Do you want to talk about it?"

He shook his head. I felt disappointed at his unwillingness to share his nightmares with me. "You know, you can tell me anything, Peeta. I'm willing to listen."

"I don't think I can, Katniss."

"Why? I tell you mine."

"There are things that happened to me at the Capitol that I can never tell you," he muttered, low and soft as if he was afraid to tell me. "I know you, Katniss. Once I tell you, you'll blame yourself for what happened to me. What they did to me…I just can't. They're too painful to talk about. And I don't want you to have those kind of images in your head."

"Okay," I responded with resignation and defeat. I wouldn't push him until he was ready or willing to share the horrors he endured. I raised my head and leaned down to kiss him, chaste and sweet. "I love you, Peeta. Don't ever doubt that." He gave me a sad smile as his eyes looked back at me with adoration and love. "You and me…together, it's all I'll ever want."

"I dreamt about this cave over and over after the first arena," he admitted as I hovered over him. "After the first session…late at night, I tried to remember the first time you kissed me. I was starting to doubt what was real…all the times we were together. Being here back in this cave…I was certain that I wasn't going to make. That's why I told you…I finally took a chance to tell you because it was bubbling inside of me. My telling you of my feelings…I never had the guts before the reaping. But, it was stupid of me to have done that to you. It was cowardly and manipulative of me as if I expected you to return my feelings, you know?"

"Peeta––"

"Please, I need to say this." He grabbed my hand that lay on his chest. "I should have told you back in District 12, not when we were fighting for our lives."

"The timing may have not been a smart move, but…I'm very glad that you did."

"Still… I wished I had told you sooner," he sighed.

"It doesn't matter anymore. I think we have run full circle, you know. Don't you think it's too much of a coincidence that we found ourselves here? In this cave?"

"I don't understand."

I sat up and propped my arm on the ground. "Fate brought us here. This…this cave…being hunted down by Gale. It's like fate was giving us another chance to do this right. To bring us here…in a place where it began for us…to your confession and my first inkling of my feelings for you."

"You think so?" I nodded my head.

"This time…I know we're going to make it. I don't know how I can explain it to you but when I woke up…I felt at peace. We're more in danger now than we have ever been but…this time, I'm not scared."

"You're not?"

"No, and do you know why?" Peeta shook his head.

"Because here…in this cave, we're stronger than ever. I know how I feel about you. My reason for survival is to love you and protect you, as you will do the same for me. And this time, I know who we're up against."

"But Katniss…we're up against your best friend."

"No, you're my best friend. The Gale I knew is long gone. He has been the moment he joined the rebellion," I explained. "He hurt you, Peeta because of me and I can never forgive him for his participation in killing Prim."

"I'm sorry that you lost your best friend."

"Let me finish…because if I don't I'll never be able to say this again," I stated. He sat up and kissed my forehead.

"I lost Prim because of him. That is one thing I will never get over. I thought losing her was the worse thing he has ever done to me, but I was wrong. What he did to you…torturing you because I chose you, I can never ever forgive him. If anything happened to you, I will never recover."

"You're stronger than you think, Katniss," he complimented me. I loved that he had so much confidence in me but he was wrong.

"I'm not. You told me once that you admired me for my strength and my courage. And you're right. Losing Prim almost killed me and I learned to move on without her, but if I lost you, Peeta. There's no turning back. I won't recover from losing you." I held his hand onto my chest hoping he could feel my heartbeat. "You're my strength and my reason to find goodness in the world and to continue living. I strive to see through your eyes. When I was with Gale, I saw nothing but bitterness and resentment…so much anger. I could never love anyone with lived with such hatred and vindictiveness inside him."

"I'm still sorry that you lost your friendship with him. He meant something to you."

"He did. Past tense." I leaned my forehead against his and closed my eyes. "Being back in this cave gave me the closure I needed. We're starting over, Peeta. I'm not confused, scared and angry anymore."

"I'm glad you found that here. Even if you're ex-best friend is trying to kill us," he teased me.

"So you thought about our time in the cave from our first arena?"

"Yes, I thought about it a lot. I ashamed to admit that my daydreams of our time together weren't..."

"Weren't what?"

"Purely innocent…there you were the girl of my dreams taking care of me. It was a dream come true. You can't imagine the dirty thoughts I had…fantasizing about what you looked like underneath your clothes…what you would taste like when I took you with my mouth."

I inhaled in lust as I was surprised and turned on by his confession. "You had sex dreams while we were in the cave?"

"I was a sixteen year old teenager, Katniss," he scoffed. "You starred in every sex dream I ever had when I first started having them." I blushed at his admission. However, it was not the time or place to act upon my raging libido no matter how much I wanted it. Peeta agreed as well.

"Do you have any idea what time it is?" he asked as he caressed the end of my braid. It was gestures like touching my hair that sent tinkles down my spin. The look he had in his eyes whenever I caught him staring at me is another example that sent me blushing from head to toe. It felt good to loved and adored. "I think it's time that I invested myself a watch. I can't tell if it's early morning or close to noon time." We held onto each other for a while, relishing the closeness and comfort our arms provided. It was as if the world stood still with no one hunting us down or our past haunting us.

Breakfast was cheese bun and a cup of tea for Peeta and coffee for me. As we prepared to leave our temporary sanctuary, I spied on my boyfriend. He extinguished the fire and looked around to make sure we didn't leave anything behind. Peeta was preoccupied that when I addressed him it took me a few seconds to catch his attention. "Peeta?"

"Huh, what? Did you say something?"

"Peeta, I was asking if you're ready to leave?"

"Yeah…um…let me make sure we didn't leave anything behind," he answered back. He was distracted all morning. His behavior worried me.

After two hours of walking and scrounging around for berries and game, I was able to snare a rabbit along the way. Peeta turned his eyes as I trapped the creature and broke its' neck. He winced as I tied my game onto my belt. For a few minutes he was quiet beside me eyeing the rabbit. He looked sick and pale. "Are you okay?" He nodded his head. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that….with you watching me." He grimaced. I looked into his eyes for signs of being triggered.

"No, we need to eat and I'm acting like some big baby––" He looked away feeling ashamed and embarrassed.

"Hey, you're not a hunter, Peeta. It's expected for you to be squeamish." I reached out and grabbed his hand. "I hunt, you bake. It works out great between us." My Boy with the Bread was not a hunter. He killed to protect those he loved. I loved him because of his kind heart and generous nature. Hunting was something out of necessity for me. I haven't picked up my bow since saving Tamryn from the wild dogs that passed the Victor's Village months ago. I haven't touched it since. Now, I wished I had it with me.

"So you don't think that I'm…some sissy boy that can't kill for my dinner?" he asked. His words reminded me of Gale spewing his vitriol and disgust of choosing Peeta over him. That I chose a baker and not a hunter like myself.

"Peeta, I don't ever want you to do something or be someone that you're not." I stopped and stood in front of him. Was this because of Gale, my former hunting partner? "Peeta, I don't need a hunting partner like 'him'…I need a life partner, someone like you who puts me first and takes care of me."

He wasn't convinced. I can see it in his eyes doubting that I would chose him. "I didn't choose you because of what you could do, what job you have. Though you making my favorite Cheese Buns is an incentive," I teased him as I placed a hand on top of his heart.

"I chose you because of what's underneath this." I caressed his chest. "I chose your heart." He smiled, that big goofy smile that ran from ear to ear causing his eyes to twinkle. My boyfriend is a sap. "And the sex is pretty awesome. Mind-blowing too if I may add." He was a perfect lover for me. Peeta was gentle and sweet at times as he drove me to distraction begging him to make me cum, but he also wild and possessive taking me so hard that I would yell out his name and experience the hardest and longest orgasms. They were times I almost blacked out from sheer pleasure.

Peeta blushed. It was adorable watching his face and ears turned pink. As inexperienced as we were when we started our physical relationship, what we already shared with each other was nothing short of mind blowing and earth shattering. However, I knew there were things we still have yet to learn about each other. I look forward to making those discoveries with Peeta.

We walked for another two hours. After our short conversation Peeta was uneasy for some reason, as he was startled with each noise or sound coming from the forest. He was also quiet walking behind me taking tentative steps as we passed each mile. At times, he lagged behind as I stopped and waited for him to catch up to me.

"Peeta, are you okay?" He kept walking as if he didn't hear me. "Peeta?" I grabbed his elbow.

"Do you hear that?" He looked above him. By the position of the sun, it was past noon.

"What? I don't hear anything?" I stopped and listened. We stayed in proximity to the railroad tracks hoping that it would lead us to a town or settlement. Then from behind us I heard a noise that sounded like a howl of some kind of animal that I didn't recognize.

"What the hell was that?"

"You don't remember?" Peeta said his face was etched with worry and fear.

"Remember what?"

"When we were in the first games…" Peeta gulped several times as if he was having a hard time speaking. "Don't you remember before Cato found us––" Again, the noise startled us. It sounded closer this time. "Katniss?" Peeta touched my arm and looked past my shoulder. I turned my head and looked back.

"Oh shit," I whispered. Ten yards behind us was a mutt dog from the arena. It was large with his teeth glistening with blood. I could never forget that animal since it starred in my nightmares when I first came back from the arena. It was transfixed on us; it's eyes blood red. Peeta reached behind him and pulled out a long knife from his backpack. I reached into my mine and pulled out the same. He took a step forward and placed me behind him using himself as a shield.

"Walk back slowly. Don't make any sudden moves," he instructed me. My heart was in my throat as sweat dripped from my forehead. I felt the wind passed us cooling my sweaty skin. The only sound I heard was Peeta's soft voice and the low growl emitting from the mutt dog. Instinctively I grabbed Peeta's hand. "When I tell you to run, just run, okay? I'll be right behind you."

"Peeta––"

"Just do as I say and run," he said staring down the mutt. "Hey, boy." He reached down and picked up a long branch. "Want to play fetch?" Peeta reached back and yanked the rabbit from my waist. He speared the rabbit like a skewer on to the branch. "You look…kinda hungry. You're a good boy. Just stay where you are." He waved the rabbit in front of him. "Ready to play fetch with the rabbit? He looks yummy, right?" Peeta was calm as he spoke. "Get ready to run, Katniss."

I took a step back and turned my head. The forest was clear behind me. "One, two, three, run Katniss." Peeta flung the stick ten yards to the left of the mutt dog distracting it. The mutt took the bait and ran after the stick. I grabbed Peeta's hand and ran. My legs pounded on the ground. Peeta stumbled but righted himself keeping up with my pace. An ear-piercing howl echoed behind us. We ran through the forest with no direction in mind but hoping that we gained some distance from the mutt dog. This felt like the arena all over again. We ran for at least 5 minutes but it felt like an hour.

Suddenly, it appeared in front of us on its four legs ready to bounce with blood on its' teeth. I gasped in horror. We didn't have anything to defend ourselves but with our knives in our hands. Peeta, my Boy with the Bread stood in front of me pushing me back.

"Peeta, what are you doing?" I said through clenched teeth. He was prepared to sacrifice himself, again.

"Run, Katniss." He waved his knife at the mutt dog.

"No!" I exclaimed. He was out of his fucking mind if he thought I would leave him. The mutt dog looked about a good 100 pounds heavier than Peeta. "I'm not leaving you."

"Go, damnit."

"I said no," I fired back at him as I clutched onto the back of his shirt. If this was the end, I wanted to be with Peeta. I couldn't leave him again.

"I love you, Katniss," he said looking straight at the mutt dog. Before I could respond, the dog leaped towards us. Peeta pushed me aside as it land right on top of him.

"Peeta," I screamed. The dog yelped loud. I couldn't see him as the dog straddled Peeta covering his whole body. I could only see his legs jutting out from beneath the dog. It was snapping his mouth downward while Peeta's left hand was holding his head away from his jaws. "Peeta!" I ran towards them and lunged my knife into its back. It yelled out another painful howl. The mutt then snapped around and butted its' head flinging me backwards. I landed on my back.

The knife was lodged so deep I didn't' have enough time to pull it out of its' back. I was defenseless as it got off of Peeta and prowled towards me. It growled with anger, snarling with bloody teeth.

With what energy I had left, I crawled backwards waiting for it to lunge towards me. Then, Peeta appeared from behind it straddling its' back and wrapping his other around the hairy neck. The momentum caused it to land on its' knees in surprise. The next second, Peeta's arm arced and planted the knife onto the neck. As it lodged deeper into its' throat, the mutt dog made a sickening guttural sound. The mutt however, was not done. Peeta held onto it as it tried to buck him of his back. With his strong grip still wrapped around the dog's thick neck, he continued to stab it once, twice. I lost count as he jabbed it several more times.

The mutt dog finally went down onto its' side bringing Peeta with it. It yelped loud in pain. Then, Peeta held on straddling the dog until with one final swing, he lunged his knife again into the ribs. "Stay down, damnit," he screamed.

I didn't know if the dog was dead. All I knew was that Peeta was alive. "Peeta," I screamed as I sat next to him checking to see if got hurt or sustained any injuries while he fought with the dog. "Oh my God, are you okay? Did it bite you?" I felt around his chest, arms, neck and head. Tears ran down my face, as I couldn't control the feelings of fear, anger, relief and love for him. I cradled his face onto my chest, holding onto him. "Oh God, oh God, oh God. Don't ever do that again."

"Katniss, we're okay." His voice was soft and strained, but it as music to my ears.

"Because of you. You killed it, Peeta. I was so scared," I whispered in his ear. I had flashes of my future, a life without Peeta had he died today. It was empty and desolate. I was certain that I would not survive losing him, again.

"I love you, damnit," I said as I crushed my mouth to his quivering lips. He breathed life into me. Hunger, lust, joy and every happy emotion filled me. After a few minutes of us making out in the middle of the forest with a dead mutt dog next to us, I placed my forehead against his sweaty one.

"Katniss?"

"Peeta?" I peppered his sweaty, grimy face with sloppy kisses.

"When we get back to 12, I want to get a dog," he requested. I smiled and laughed from relief and joy. _'What the fuck.'_

"Why would you want––"

"I don't want this experience…I don't want it to haunt me. I love dogs and this…if I don't get over it. I'll never be able to be near one ever again." I kissed him again.

"My brave Peeta," I complimented him. "You can have any fucking dog you want." He had just endured one of the most terrifying and traumatic events in his life and he wanted to get a dog? However, our moment of celebration and joy was short-lived as several howls echoed in the air. What made me think that this mutt dog only existed? They traveled in packs but hunted alone.

"We need to get out of here?" I stood up and shook dirt and debris off my clothes.

"Katniss, I can't…I'm pinned down," he said looking up to me. I looked down at dog. He was literally lying on top of Peeta's legs. "He's too heavy to move."

"Shit," I cursed to myself. I knelt behind Peeta and looped my arms from underneath his armpits clasping my hands together on his upper chest. He couldn't move, not even an inch. "Can you reach down and see if you can slip off your leg?"

He reached underneath the furry haired dog. Another howl echoed into the air. "I can't reach it without cutting my pants off me." Maybe in another time, I would find this situation hilarious as I reached over and unbuckled his belt. "Katniss? What are you doing?"

"Lift up," I instructed him as I pulled his pants down as far as it could go. Once the shell of his prosthetic leg was revealed I unlatched his fake leg. Peeta squirmed and pulled his left leg from the dog leaving his right leg trapped. He remained on the ground wearing his black boxer short. I couldn't help but feel a tinge of sorrow, guilt and love for him as he sat on the ground massaging his left stump. As for me, I reached from behind him, looped my arms around his chest and pulled. I was able to pull Peeta free leaving his prosthetic leg underneath the dog.

"I can't go anywhere without my leg, Katniss." He tried to stand on his right leg.

"Don't move, Peeta. I don't want you to fall," I berated him. But being strong will and stubborn like me he stood up balancing on his good leg. I walked over to him and grabbed him around the waist. In return he wrapped his arms around my waist for balance. I could feel his heart beating against my chest. For a moment, I savored the comfort and love I felt radiating from him as I lay my head on his shoulder. He was alive and that was all that matter for now.

Another howl startled us from our moment of peace. "I need my leg, Katniss." He reminded me. There was no way we could go further without it. I hunched down onto the ground and pulled his pants over his leg. While was I redressing him, Peeta looked around us. "Help me over to the dog."

I helped him hopped over to the fallen animal. He knelt beside it from behind its' back. For a few seconds he stared at the dog. "Take out your water canteen," he said a minute later. I reached back into my pack and handed it to him. "No." He shook his head as he reached for his own. "Water the ground near his belly on the other side."

"What?" I walked the opposite side of the dog.

"He's too heavy. We need to slide his body off my fake leg." I stared at him dumbfounded. "We need to create mud, something slippery underneath him." I looked at the ground and found leaves, plants and dirt around me. I didn't argue since I couldn't think of anything else. By the time my canteen was empty, we created of a pool of mud around the dog. "On the count of three, pull his leg towards you while I push from here."

"One, two, three." He pushed while I pulled. Again and again we worked until his leg was no longer buried from underneath it.

Peeta quickly lifted his pant leg and fasten his fake leg onto his stump. When he stood up, I kissed him. "You're a genius."

"No, just a baker," he returned.

"You're my baker." I grabbed his hand.

Adrenaline and fear fueled us as we ran deeper into the forest. We didn't want to encounter another mutt dog or worse, its' pack looking for him. Now our odds were stacked with Gale hunting us down, and a pack of mutt dogs roaming in the forest.

We had decided to avoid the train tracks. Peeta didn't want innocent bystanders getting hurt if Gale caught us trying to hail the train down to rescue us. We didn't want another mishap like Bron who was shot down in a hovercraft.

"We're lost, I'm sick and tired of being hunted down and feeling defenseless," Peeta stated once we gained enough distance from the mutt dog. "I want this to be over." He grabbed me around the waist surprising me.

He held me tight in his arms. "I'm not going to lose you to anyone or anything." The excitement, fear and the adrenaline wore off leaving us exhausted. I nodded my head in agreement as we took a moment of quiet and rest.

Peeta and I survived two hunger games, a rebellion, his hijacking and my losing Prim. Nothing, not even Gale's obsession over us could ever tear us apart. I won't lose Peeta again; I won't run and hide anymore. I am a hunter and Peeta is a fighter. As long as Peeta is by my side, we too will survive this.

For safety, I made Peeta climbed up a tree for a short break. I didn't want to encounter another mutt dog while we ate our lunch. Peeta was good at rationing the cheese buns but since this was our second day, we were running out. He broke off one bun in half and shared his water canteen since I emptied mine.

He held my right hand with his left while I wolfed down the cheese bun. "We need to get more food for dinner," I told him.

"Let wait for an hour," he suggested as he reached into his pack and handed an apple to me. "This should hold us up until dinner."

Suddenly, a sound of animals running surrounded us. "Peeta?" It was loud and close by. Below a pack of mutt dogs ran past us. I counted five large adult dogs. "Shit."

"It's a good things we're up here," Peeta exclaimed, relief evident on his face. I nodded my head speechless as another dog appeared below us. It was limping as it ran past our tree. On its' left back leg was a metallic ring attached to it foot. The devise looked familiar.

"What's on its' leg?" Peeta wondered as I looked down. The dog limped away far from us when suddenly it exploded.

"Peeta, it was a metallic trap rigged with explosives," I answered him.

"Oh my God, they're probably placed all over the forest. We've been walking around and I never notice them?"

I was about to tell Peeta it was time to move on when I gasped in shock and horror as suddenly, Gale appeared. He was looking on the ground where the dog exploded. I held me breath and looked at Peeta. His eyes were wide like saucers as he watched Gale walked around the ground below us.

A mutt dog emerged ten yard in front of him. It was growling and baring its' teeth at Gale. Quietly, he reached behind him and pulled out a compound bow from his backpack. Then, he pulled out a long thick arrow from his quiver. The arrow had large heavy tip. For a second he aimed at the mutt then fired. The arrow lodge onto the dog's neck then exploded.

"Oh, fuck," Peeta whispered next to me.

Gale waited and stood around for a few seconds. Then, he headed east. I exhaled the breath I've been holding. "Katniss? What do you want to do?"

"We stay up here. We're safe for now," I said to Peeta as I grabbed his hand for comfort. Half an hour later, we climbed down off the tree hoping that both the dogs and Gale was far away from us. With some advantage of our side, I suggested to Peeta that we follow Gale. Without a single word or argument, he agreed.

"As long as we stick together, I'll follow you anywhere," he said. His faith in me was encouraging. "This is what we do, we protect each other, real or not real?"

"Real, Peeta," I said back to him as I clasped his hand into mine. "Real."

* * *

_**AN: Thank you for reading this chapter and for sticking around, especially for those who had alerted, favored or reviewed my story. Have great week.**_


	53. Chapter 53 - New and Old Alliances

Chapter 53 – New and Old Alliances

AN: This chapter is dedicated to everyone who has favored, alerted and reviewed "The Weary Heart." Thank you for your patience and hanging on until the end. Thanks to Matainer, Manaliac, IcyPinkLemonade and LACR for your reviews. All rights and characters belong to Suzanne Collins.

* * *

**Delly POV ––**

My stomach churned at the sight of food that Effie prepared for dinner. With her usual flair, Effie prepared an elaborate and delicious meal ranging from a rack of lamb to roast beef au jus. My stomach however, had other ideas settling for a simple vegetable soup with water crackers. My baby will probably wake me in the middle of night for a piece of lamb as a midnight snack. Consuming meat during dinner was the last thing I wanted or had any appetite for. My baby and I miss Peeta's cheese buns. I craved for them more than ever.

I was heartsick, worried and lonely missing everyone. Baby Cartwright was wreaking havoc to my system. I was nauseous and dizzy all morning. I couldn't sleep for the past two days worrying over Peeta, Katniss and Johanna. Images of them hurt or dying flashed in my mind. It didn't help that the tension in the air stressed everyone, especially Haymitch.

Both he and Effie had been stressed all day since getting Johanna's message early this morning. He was ready to go after her but Effie convinced him to stay. Haymitch had been out of commission for a while as a Victor. Effie had informed that he was not fit to be pouncing around in the woods with his lack of training and physical fitness. Had be been more proactive during his years as mentor, Effie would had let him go to help find Peeta and Katniss. I remembered the desolation and helplessness he felt when he received the message from Johanna hours before.

* * *

_**Flashback ––**_

"_Haymitch, what is that annoying beeping sound coming from your datapad," Effie asked as her face scrunched in annoyance. The new Mrs. Haymitch Abernathy was as glamorous as ever wearing a light blue dress that accentuated every curve in her shapely figure. My admiration of her attire was interrupted by the incessant beeping sound. The pitch was short but sharp to the ears. Haymitch was glued to the pad, never leaving it behind wherever he went. Effie had put her foot down when he took it with him in the bathroom. _

"_That's so unsanitary," she balked at him._

"_I wash my hands Effie," he defended himself as he raised both hands for her inspection. _

"_It's bad enough you took that thing into our bedroom, Haymitch," she complained. _

"_I just don't want to miss anything, you know. I don't want to be caught unaware incase she communicated with me." So for the rest of the day, Haymitch took the pad with him never leaving his sight. As far as he was concerned if Johanna hadn't call it was a good sign to him. Then suddenly, a high-pitched beeping sound emitted from the pad. _

"_Oh, my God. It's Johanna," he exclaimed. The incessant high pitch beeps continued in slow and fast pattern. _

"_How do you know it's her?" Effie asked. _

"_She's sending me a message via code. Morse code to be exact." Both Effie and I stared at him as he was speaking another language. "It was used during the dark days to communicate in long distances so no one but the sender and the receiver can understand it._

"_How can a bunch of beeping sounds be used to send as messages? It's annoying," Effie whined as the beeps continued in a nonsensical pattern. _

"_Just shut up, woman. I'm trying to listen," Haymitch returned, irritated and impatient. He turned and left the room. "I need to write this down." _

"_Really, Haymitch. You didn't have to be so rude about it," Effie fired back. Haymitch growled at her as he sat down at the dining table with pen and paper in hand. He continued to write as the beeps sounded from the pad. It didn't make any sense to me._

"_Must be a guy thing," Effie sighed. "Wouldn't had it been easier if she just called instead of sending those annoying sounds. It's grating my sensitive ears."_

"_I taught Johanna the basic. It's archaic but I prefer it since even Gale doesn't knows how to decipher it. He's too impatient to learn it. I didn't want him to pick up any communication between Johanna and me. I was going to give Alec a radio but Gale might be listening to the same frequency. I didn't want to take any chances so this was my only option."_

"_How is she sending it?" I asked. I knew that Johanna and Haymitch agreed to radio silence and would track her by the GPS oh her necklace. She also didn't want Alec or Rory to know how they were communicating. He may have sent them to help her but he still had some doubt in their loyalty, especially Rory._

"_I modified her medallion. She has to press a button on the back of her necklace to send me the signals," he answered. "Okay, shut up, I can't concentrate with both of you talking." On the paper he wrote a few words, 'No K and P, med kit. Food and water.' Then he looked at the pad. There was a small map of District 3 with red dot in the middle of the district. _

_Haymitch sighed. "Looks like there deep in the forest. I hope she had better news."_

"_Me too. At least she didn't say that she found Katniss and Peeta were hurt or worse," Effie added. "I wish there was more than we can do. Can't we send more help?"_

"_No, we can't risk it," Haymitch responded. "Look what happened to Bron. Any hovercraft flying in that area will be shot down for sure. Besides that air space is reserved for the military. I can send a Supply Bot to them and hope Gale doesn't shoot it down." The bot served as a supply cargo. It was unmanned and flew by remote control. Beetee designed it in lieu of using the trains. It was faster to send but didn't have a large payload. Only a one-man bot was allowed in that area. You can send food, water and medical needs like drugs and bandages. Bron said they could have used it during the rebellion. It would have saved many lives that were lost due to starvation, dehydration and blood loss. Now, Haymitch hoped to use it to help Johanna._

_**End of Flashback ––**_

* * *

I was so distracted that I didn't hear Effie addressing me, "Speaking of Bron, Delly. How is he doing?" The thought of him the hospital alone and in pain brought tears to my eyes.

"He's fine, Effie. I think the doctor is ready to release him tomorrow after a couple of tests," I sniffled. After settling Bron into his room, I wasn't sure what I had planned to do, but since I am no longer his fiancée or girlfriend, I was told to leave the hospital once visiting hours we was over. I was saddened with the state of our relationship. I recalled our last conversation before I came home.

* * *

_**Flashback ––**_

"_Your doctor said that you might be able to go home tomorrow," I stated with formality. I still love Bron but his betrayal was something I don't think I can get over. He hurt Peeta, someone who he didn't know but willing to hurt because of me._

"_How's the baby doing, Delly?" he asked as his eyes were riveted to my belly. I wasn't showing much but my hormones and appetite affected me. It was difficult going through the pregnancy alone. I decided that I wouldn't deprive Bron his chance to be the father to my baby, but as for us, his betrayal stung and my trust and faith in him was shattered._

"_He or she is fine, Bron." I placed a hand onto my stomach. As he sat on the bed with his legs incased in plaster, I wanted to wrap my arms around him and soak in his presence. Then I realized he was no longer my fiancé but father to my baby. My emotions ran amuck from love, joy, anger, sadness and frustration. I'm hormonally imbalanced since I wanted to slap him and crawl into bed with him at the same tine. The latter was tempting but I kept my distance._

"_You had the doctor check you to make sure the baby's okay?" His voice was soft, reverent. _

"_Yes, first thing I did when I arrived here while they were admitting you." I took a step back. Bron was sad and depressed, feelings that were common for someone in his situation, but this time our broken engagement compounded to his emotions. Unlike the first time I met him, asking for my number and flirting with me while he lay on the bed incapacitated. If someone had told me that a year ago I was going to be having a baby and engaged I would have laughed in their face. It was the last thing I thought would happen to me. In the course of a year, I made a home in District 12, my best friends were Peeta and Johanna and I had fallen in love with Bron Masters. There were no more reapings and Snow is dead. Now, Peeta and Katniss are missing, Johanna is looking for them and I'm single again and pregnant. I held a sob that was caught in my throat. So many things changed at such a short time._

"_Are you ever going to forgive me, Delly?" he asked._

"_I already have, Bron." My throat felt tight as a wave of anguish bubbled on my chest. I had forgiven him. For days I was angry for his betrayal feeling the loss of our love and friendship. The ache in my heart felt like a stone was lodged inside. I had loved Peeta all my life thinking that I could never love anyone, but Bron crept into my life and heart. I made room for someone to love and took a chance with him. He was my first and I had planned to spend the rest of my life with him. _

"_Can we try again?" he begged._

"_I don't know." I said back. I was certain that he loved me, grew to love me but had he been honest in the beginning of our courtship, we could have survived his duplicity. But, he kept quiet and Peeta got hurt and was abused by Gale and Eva because of his cowardice._

"_I need to know something?" The thought had bugged me for days. I needed to ask something that bothered me. "When did you realize that you really wanted me and that you loved me?"_

"_Before you moved back to 12," he answered. "I realized that you meant something to me. I did go after you to spy for Gale, I admit that but the more I got to know you, the harder I fell for you."_

_Tears tracked down my cheeks. "When I asked you if you would move back to the Capitol with me, you said you would knowing how much you loved Peeta and Johanna. You put my happiness above yours. They were your family and I knew how much they meant to you. How could I not love you for that?" I remembered that day when he asked me. I debated back and forth wondering if I could leave Johanna and Peeta. They were what were left of my family, but I grew to love Bron. Both Peeta and Johanna would have understood had I followed my heart and left with him. They wouldn't have deprived of me that, a chance to have my own family and shot for happiness._

"_I need to trust you again and I don't know if I can. If it wasn't for the baby…I would have sent you packing."_

"_I understand, Delly but…" He wiped the tears in his eyes. He was sorry and his repentance was heartfelt. "I do love you Delly, you and our baby…you both mean the world to me. I love you both so much." As far as I was concerned, the bump in my stomach was my baby. But hearing him say 'our baby' broke my heart again._

"_I'll be back tomorrow to pick you up." The air in the room was thick with despair and sadness. I couldn't stay any longer. Being this close to him again was too hard for me._

"_Delly, I swear I'm going to do whatever it takes to get you back," he promised me. "If Peeta waited 11 years to tell Katniss how he felt about her, I'll wait for you just as long as he did. I'll find a way for you to trust me again." Damn him. He may not be as eloquent or romantic as Peeta, but he must have been taking lessons from Peeta. He was beginning to think and talk like him._

_When I left him, Bron had tears running down his cheeks. I stopped myself from returning to his room to hold him._

_**End of Flashback ––**_

* * *

The next morning, Haymitch was already up at the break of dawn. He was standing by a floor to ceiling window over looking the district's landscape.

"Good morning, Haymitch. Any more news from Johanna?"

"Not a single beep." He shrugged his shoulders as he took a sip of his black coffee. I can't help but admire him for his sobriety. All it took was two young teens to fire him back to life and start living again. He learned to love again because of Katniss and Peeta. "I'm so tempted, Delly. I'm so tempted to pack a bag and go after them."

"I know this is hard for you, Haymitch."

"This is worse than mentoring. At least I knew where they were and how they were doing." He sighed as he walked over the dining area and refreshed his cup of coffee. "If I had my way, I'd sent an army after them, but I can't. Peeta made me swear to not get any more people involved. Gale is irrational now. Any one in his way would get hurt or killed. Peeta doesn't want any more blood on his hands. I'm so worried about them."

"You have the best former victors out there. If anyone can survive this, it's Johanna, Peeta and Katniss. Gale doesn't know who he's dealing with." As I expected, I visited the kitchen around midnight since baby Cartwright decided to take over my appetite and hijack my sleep as I tossed and turned all night. However, this morning I was surprised that I didn't wake up and visit the porcelain throne like I usually did after my early morning snack. "I miss Peeta's cheese buns." With that said, I had some fruit and a cup of tea for breakfast. Haymitch ordered break and nothing seemed appealing; even Baby Cartwright agreed with me.

"When are we picking up Bron?"

"The doctor said that he's clear to leave around noon," I answered back. When I had told Haymitch that Bron was being released yesterday, he sensed my uneasiness and offered to help me bring him back. He even suggested that I return back to 12 with Bron and wait there. I was horrified and insulted at his suggestion. I was living with Bron back in the Victor's Village. We had a home there. Now we're no longer together. We still have yet to figure out our living arrangements…and who gets to keep the dog. I was not looking forward to returning to 12 since I knew the reality of my situation. I'm pregnant, stressed, heartbroken and missing my friends. There was no way I returning to 12 alone without them.

An hour later, I sent Haymitch ahead to the hospital and ran an errand for him. Bron was expecting me but I was too scared to face him alone so I agreed to pick up an item he had ordered the day earlier. I didn't know what it was since it was wrapped to conceal its' content but one good look at it, I knew what he had bought. After picking the package, I went straight to the hospital and completed Bron's release papers. It only took half an hour to get all the paperwork done which included picking up his medication. I was nervous returning back to his room to face him.

"Haymitch, you have to do something," Bron's voice echoed as I entered his room. He was seated in a wheelchair dressed and ready to leave.

"I know, Bron," he answered back. "I will as soon as I get back to the hotel."

"What's going on?"

"Delly, you need to send reinforcements to help find Peeta. District 3…they used that district as a model for the games," Bron explained.

"Oh my God, Haymitch is that true?"

"I don't know, Delly. It's not like the gamekeepers told me stuff like that. I'm just a mentor. How would I know that?"

"You don't understand. District 3 is the Guardsmen's training ground. Gale designed the training course," Bron added. "And there were rumors that…he let a pack of mutt dogs loose for hunting."

"Oh, hell," Haymitch exhaled. "I heard rumors that some of the arena were designed after District 3, 4 and 7. I thought all the mutt dogs were put down once the rebellion was over."

"Gale decided to keep them. He said they were perfect for hunting as a way for teaching the Guardsmen how to track down predators. He was trying to develop a special team, an elite group."

"Does President Paylor know they existed…the mutt dogs?"

"Who cares right now, Haymitch," Bron roared in frustration. "It's beside the point right now. They exist and are living in District 3's forest."

"Calm down, Bron." Haymitch answered back. "I've been worried sick about them too. Now you're telling me that there are mutt dogs in District 3. What more surprises don't we know about in that district?" It was a rhetorical question he was asking himself. "Next you're going to tell me that Gale recruited former Victors in the Guardsmen military as his own bodyguards."

"I wouldn't put it past him if he did," Bron stated. "The bastard is shifty and an egomaniac."

"Have you heard from Johanna?" I asked as panic and fear filled me.

"Not since yesterday morning. She didn't say anything about the dogs but that Rory was injured."

"Haymitch, they're in danger. Peeta and Katniss are not equipped to handle the dogs," I surmised. "We need to do something fast." I wasn't too worried for Johanna and company since they had equipped themselves with rifles.

"I know," he wheezed. "Let's get Bron back to the hotel and I'll figure something out." If Bron's claims were true Peeta, Katniss, Johanna, Rory and Alec were in danger not just with Gale, but also with the Capitol mutt dogs. I remember watching them run after Katniss and Peeta in their first arena. For weeks I had nights after seeing them. It's no wonder that both they had nightmares that haunted them then and even now.

Once we had Bron situated in his room, I found Effie and Haymitch preparing to send a bot to Johanna's location. With a few taps to the data pad, he sent a message telling her to be on the lookout for the bot. He was sending it low so that Gale couldn't shoot out of the sky. He wasn't a good shot like Katniss, but we couldn't take any chances for it to be shot down. The bot sat on the rooftop of the hotel where we were staying. It was large enough to carry enough supplies and still have room for other provisions.

"I'm sending her more rifles, ammo, food, water, clothes and medical aid," Haymitch stated. "I don't think I can send anymore than that." He sighed. "I just hope that Gale doesn't see it."

"We have to take the chance Haymitch," Effie reminded him. "At least they'd have better odds surviving an attack."

I shuddered at the image of them running from a pack of mutt dogs. I feared for Peeta's safety. He was a fast runner before he lost his leg. However, we didn't know if Katniss or Peeta sustained any injury or if Gale captured them. The wait and the uncertainty was killing me.

I needed to do something. A thought crossed my mind. I looked at Effie and Haymitch who were busy finalizing the bots flight destination and doing a checklist for the supplies. It would track and follow Johanna's GPS signal.

"When are you going to send the bot off?" I asked.

"Its' scheduled it to take off in about ten minutes, Delly. Effie and I are making sure we send everything they need because this may be the only chance we have to send it. Why do you ask?" Haymitch responded.

"I want to add something to the bot. Can I do that before it leaves?"

"What are thinking of sending?" Effie wondered.

"Peeta's leg is probably hurting him by now. I want to put his ointment in the bot."

"Good idea. Why don't you go ahead then," Haymitch suggested. "Then make sure you secure the hatch then it's good to go."

I rushed into my room and quickly changed to a pair of dark slacks, long shirt, jacket and boots. My hair was in ponytail underneath a cap. Johanna would have been very proud of my attire. Once I placed Peeta's medication in my pocket, I ran up the stairs. The bot looked like an orb with two rectangular feet underneath it to keep it steady. I opened the hatch and sighed in relief.

God help me for what I was about to do. There was enough room for me to squeeze myself inside it. Once Haymitch realized what I had done, he and Effie will be furious and horrified at my recklessness. As for Bron…well, I'm my own person. I couldn't stand by and watch my friends die in Gale's hands. If there was something I could do to help, this was it. I've placed my life and my baby's life in danger. I knew that with great certainty, but my friends needed me. Hopefully, Gale won't shoot me out of the sky, but it was a chance I was willing to take.

* * *

**Johanna POV ––**

It was another day of interrupted sleep and nightmares that caused my mood to sour. After my incident at the cliff, I was shattered and felt discomfort of having both Alec and Rory see me at my weakest state. I wished Peeta were here. He was the only man that I felt comfortable with. He wasn't anything like Finnick who was self assured, arrogant and outspoken. Peeta was soft, gentle and sweet. He took my anger and frustration without returning it with derision or pity. He never threw it back in my face ever. I have yet to meet another person like him who can handle me at my worst and still accepted me for who I was. It was his inner strength and friendship I depended on, never asking for anything in return.

Though I was embarrassed at my display of weakness, I gathered the strength I had left and drudged through the forest to find Katniss and Peeta. Yesterday was another day wasted. We had reached the area where the fire was coming from and discovered that Gale had shot down an express delivery bot that ran between Districts 3 and 4. Inside the bot were boxes and packages that were personal or business related. Some poor kid out there was not getting his toy truck for his birthday. Too bad someone wasn't sending food, which we could have confiscated.

I really need to find Gale soon before he discovers Peeta and Katniss. God help him because once I find him…he's dead. No law or person in Panem will stop me from killing him. I don't care what the consequences will be. All I know is that he will be out of our lives forever.

As usual Rory was out and about snaring rabbits for our dinner. At this point, I could care less what he did. I had a mission. He and Alec took care of our provisions since it left me less to worry about. We looked amongst the debris from the bot to see if there was anything useful. We came up with nothing.

Last night dinner was rabbit again which was better than starving. Rory wasn't useless even if he was a liability. I can't trust him to do what was needed to done to stop Gale. Rory needed to make a choice because in the end, I will make it for him.

The stress and non-productive day had finally caught up to me. I was short and abrupt with both Alec and Rory as we settled in for the night. I steered clear from their company. Alec made a few attempts to comfort me but I resisted. He was a stranger to me. All I know about him was that Peeta hired him to oversee his bakery. He was a baker in his district. Other than that, I knew nothing of him. Where he's from, what he did for during the rebellion. I couldn't trust him. My faith and trust in men was non-existent. The thought of having a relationship with any man caused me to hyperventilate and have a full-blown panic attack. I wasn't ready nor do I think I ever will be. My sessions with Dr. Aurelius unblocked all the memories of my time in the Capitol from the time I won my arena to my years as a Victor. I had suppressed so much of my anger, the memories of sexual abuse and pain. They were forefront in my mind now. They were the cause of my volatile behavior to every one around me. I only left comfortable around Peeta and Haymitch.

I needed time to heal. It would take years before my emotional wounds and scars to mend, if ever. It would take a man like Peeta, who had waited for Katniss with love, patience and tolerance to put up with me, and my brand of crazy. It would take resilience and understanding to stand by me. I'm a mess.

I snapped at Alec all too often since his arrival. I knew he meant well but…I couldn't accept his offer of comfort. I'm not in the right frame of mind to accept it and not lead him on. I'm not stupid. I've seen the way he's looked at me since I've met him. Delly teased me to no end about setting me up with him. As for Peeta, he just smiled and voiced his opinion when I asked about Alec.

"_We're free to live our lives as we see fit," he said. "Wouldn't it be nice to have someone to love and not be scared all the time? Don't be afraid, Johanna. Life is good now, find someone to share it with."_

He never dared to push or attempted to play matchmaker. But, leave to Peeta to know the inner workings of my mind and heart. Yes, I'm scared. I guess I'm like Katniss in that respect.

"Johanna, look," Alec, pointed to a small dot beyond the horizon. It too small to recognize so we waited until we could see it more clearly.

"Oh my god, it's the supply bot." Earlier this morning, Haymitch had sent me a message letting me know he was sending it.

"How do you know––"

"I hope Gale hasn't seen it," I said interrupting Rory. The bot was bigger than the express delivery bot; so the chance of Gale seeing it was probable. Then out of nowhere I watched as a projectile hit the bottom of the bot.

"Shit he saw it," I exclaimed. "Damnit, Gale."

"Yeah, but now we know where he is," Alec stated. We knew the area from where the project originated. The bot was down a good three miles ahead of us. I hope that it wasn't too damaged since we could use the provisions it carried.

"Come on, let's go intercept it. If were lucky Gale will head towards it." I ran off without them. If they followed I wasn't sure. All I knew was that if Gale was curious he would head to the direction where the bot crashed. I reminded myself to keep an eye on Rory. He initially failed to apprehend his brother a day ago. I wasn't about to let him do that again. This time, Gale is mine to handle. I just hope Peet and Katniss were aware of the bot and headed towards it as well. I know by this time they were probably out of food and water. I hoped to get there first.

* * *

**Peeta POV ––**

I woke up disoriented as the light from sun hit my eyes. In front of me was Katniss cradled in my arms. We were able to find a tree large enough to hide us inside the tree trunk from Gale and the mutt dogs. For the rest of the day, Katniss tracked him and the dogs making sure we kept our distance. I was afraid that I couldn't keep my treads from alerting Gale or the dogs our position, but for once I was quiet. Katniss kissed me as a reward then went back to business following her former hunting partner. So much has changed since the war ended, her relationship was amongst them. It saddened me.

Along the way, I watched my girlfriend. She was focused never letting me out of her sight with her hand clasped to mine while she kept an eye on Gale. She was so scared that we even stood by each other as we took a leak amongst the bushes. A year ago that would have horrified her. There was a familiar look in her eye I haven't seen since before the rebellion. It was a look of anger that reminded me of the times she was with me or with Snow. I shuddered at the memory.

I felt sorry for her. Gale had meant a great deal to her and now she's forced to hunt him down like an animal. She had already lost so much and now she had lost her best friend because she chose me over him. I told myself that I would never ever let her regret her choices, even if it meant choosing Gale over me. But I am the lucky one and it made me love her more than ever.

She whimpered in her sleep. I held onto her for comfort incase she awoke from a nightmare. I swore until my dying day that I would love and protect her to my last breath. I guess some things haven't changed. I'd soon die for her in order to keep he alive. She was the MockingJay, the leader of the rebellion. She had fought and won her freedom at the cost of her sister's life. She earned to live a long and happy life. Katniss deserved it and neither Gale nor I had any right to stop her from having it.

"Peeta," she whispered in her sleep. I placed my chin onto her shoulder rubbing my cold nose on her cheek. It's moments like these that I dreamt and fantasized since I was eleven years old. Just to hold her as she slept with my arms wrapped around her. The night air turned chilly by the time the sun set. We had decided to not make a fire incase Gale was near by and attracted the mutt dogs. So we huddled together as best we could as I placed her in front of me her back to my chest. We ate the last of the cheese buns by dinnertime and our water canteen were near empty. Katniss had suggested snaring rabbit or whatever game we could find the next morning. As long as we kept our distance from Gale and the dogs we had the upper hand. We couldn't keep up with just tracking him. I knew we had to make a move soon. I recalled our conversation the night before. It was a conversation that needed to be addressed.

* * *

_**Flashback ––**_

_I couldn't sleep. Every noise or sound distracted me. Now that we had settled down for the night, the events of day finally caught up to me; I remembered killing the mutt dog, blood everywhere and finding Gale in the forest as he looked for us. I shivered at the memory of killing the mutt dog earlier this morning. Everything started to come back to me. I was surprised I wasn't triggered as I felt anger at Gale and fear for Katniss' life._

"_Peeta, are you okay?" Katniss asked with concern and worry on her face. "You're shivering." She felt me tremble as she pressed her back on my chest. _

"_I just realized that I killed a mutt dog today."_

"_You saved our lives, Peeta," she said with awe. "You didn't hesitate or blink. You were willing to sacrifice your life to save mine." She sighed. "I should be really mad at you for trying to kill it on your own."_

"_I was afraid that…I was going to get triggered, especially when I saw the mutt dog and Gale."_

_She turned around to face me. The night was dark and the only thing illuminating was the moon high above us. I could see the trace of the right side of her face. Her hair was still in a single braid, just the way I liked it. She had dirt and grime all over her face and still…she looked beautiful to me more than ever. "But you didn't Peeta. You faced your fears and didn't get triggered."_

"_I think was too scared for you to have an episode. I'd die Katniss. If anything happened to you, I don't know…" I confessed. "The only thing that ran inside my head was that I couldn't let anything happen to you."_

"_It was the same for me, Peeta." She turned and knelt between my legs and placed her forehead against mine. "I have never been so scared in my life…when the dog landed on you, I thought you were dead," she sobbed back her tears. "I really thought…that I had lost your forever."_

"_Hey, I'm still here," I said as I took her hand and placed it over my heart. "Do you feel that? It's still beating." She grabbed me tight wrapping her arms around my neck._

"_Please don't ever leave me. Don't you ever do something that stupid again," she said with anger and relief in her voice._

"_I can't make that promise."_

"_Peeta––" I ignored her. _

"_I guess I was trying to protect you that my mind was too focused on the dog. It didn't matter what happened to me as long as you were safe. That was all I concentrated on." She didn't argue with me. She knew not too. I was adamant in protecting her no matter how much she objected. She would always be first to me._

"_I have to confess I was a little scared when I saw Gale," she admitted. I hung my head down in shame for I had thought that too. "I mean, not that I was afraid of you, Peeta." She placed both hands on my face, forcing me to look into her eyes. "I was afraid seeing him would trigger you. The last thing you need is to be triggered. You're heart can take the stress. I don't want you to have another heart attack." _

_Could I admit to her that I was seeing something shiny in my head as Gale appeared before my eyes? It only took a second as I closed my eyes and concentrated on Katniss. _

"_Katniss, we need to talk about Gale," I started. Her eyes grew hard._

"_What about him?" she returned as I could detect her anger in her tone._

"_What are we going to do?"_

"_We…" She pointed between us. "…are not going to do any thing. I will take care of him myself," she announced._

"_Katniss, if you think that I'm going to let you handle him all on your own…then you really don't know me at all," I said frustrated at her stubbornness._

"_I want him dead," she seethed between her lips with such vehemence._

"_He has a problem with me, Katniss. I will…"_

"_He's my problem. I take full responsibility for his…obsession with you and his need to take you away from me," she spat in anger. "He thinks that once you're dead, I'm all his. It's sick and pervert. I toyed with his feelings and look how he turned out."_

_I sighed and took a deep breath hoping to contain the anger that I knew was at my tipping point. "You are not responsible just as I'm not going to let you think otherwise. He's a grown man who couldn't accept the fact that you love me and not him."_

"_But he is after you because of me."_

"_No, he is after me because I love you and I let all of Panem know it. You are not his keeper. He's responsible for his own…vicious and hateful behavior towards me. Not you, the rebellion, or his addiction. He did this all to himself."_

_"But he––"_

"_Katniss, I do love you, but you have to realize that Gale and his feelings for you was never your fault. People will make choices on their own and how they behave and react is up to them." She wasn't convinced. She would gladly take the blame in order to make Gale the innocent one in our love triangle. Her guilt ran deep. It stemmed from her experience with Snow. He used me to get to her and me getting tortured; she took my abuse unto herself. It was her fault I was tortured. It was far from the truth._

"_Honey, I know that you're anger with Gale for what he and Eva did to me," I started. "But you were his friend for the longest time. You told me how you saved each from starving, how you supported your families. When all is said and done if you hurt him…or kill him. In the long run, his death will affect you. You may not feel it now but you will in the future." She began to argue with me. _

"_Listen, please. The Gale you know now is someone you don't know or recognize. How will you feel months from now or better yet years from now knowing that you killed your best friend because of me. What will you tell Hazelle, Posy and Vick? I couldn't live with myself if you got hurt in any way because of me. How do you think I'll feel?"_

_Katniss' shoulders slumped as she absorbed my reasoning. "Underneath that angry, hateful and obsessed guy is someone you used to love…as a friend and companion. He's sick Katniss. Give him the chance to get better…like you gave me the chance to be get better and be worthy of you." She gasped. "You forgave me for almost…killing you." The memory still haunted me. _

"_He's no longer best my friend or anything to me for that matter. You're my best friend."_

"_Who almost killed you."_

"_Peeta, I forgave you a longtime ago. And, it's me that was never worthy of you," she mumbled. "You would have never behaved like Gale if I had chosen him. You would place my happiness over yours. You love me that much."_

"_I do."_

"_I love you so much," she returned. "God help me, Peeta. If he touches a single hair on your head." She caressed the hair at the back of my head. "I'm so angry...what he and Eva did to you. I can't forgive him for that. You suffered so much––" _

"_Just like you suffered––"_

"_It's not the same," she retorted. "Don't you dare make that comparison. It's not the same, Peeta. It isn't, it's not even close."_

_I placed two fingers on my trembling lips. "Okay, just promise me something, Katniss."_

"_I will try––"_

"_No, you swear to me. Right now, that we will apprehend Gale. Take him back to the Capitol so he can detox or whatever they do to addicts to help him get better."_

"_I promise––" Katniss held me tight in her arms. _

"_Swear to me, Katniss," I demanded._

"_I promise Peeta that we will bring him back in one piece, alive," she returned. "You're just too good for this world."_

"_Seriously, I'm not. I'm selfish. All I want is you. I just want to be good to you."_

"_You are Peeta," she whispered in my ear and kissed my lobe sending a thrill down my back and reaching my groin. I tried to contain the moan in my throat._

"_You're the perfect one." She snorted in protest. I held the back of her head with one hand as I placed the other on the small of her back. She gasped as my lips devoured hers then she whimpered while I trailed my tongue down to her neck sucking her delicate skin. We made out for a few minutes relishing the taste and feel of each other. _

_**End of Flashback ––**_

* * *

I remembered the long, wet kisses she gave me. How her tongue sought entrance in to my mouth tasting cheese bun on her lips. I wanted to devour her with my body and my soul, but it was hardly the time or place to sate my desire. I vowed the next time we make love would be in her room back in District 12. My body ached and longed for that moment.

Gale. My mind drifted to her ex-best friend. Katniss declared that I'm her best friend now. I'm overjoyed and scared at the same time. What if I hurt her, what if see finds out how truly fucked up I am and leaves me? She shifted on to her right side nestling her body between my legs. Her hip grounded onto my groin. _'Fuck,'_ I moaned. Even with her asleep she had the capacity to excite me granting I woke up with my morning wood.

My need for her caused a sharp pain in my groin. "Katniss, honey," I winced. "It's time to get up." She had explained that we needed to up as soon as the sun rose since she was certain that Gale would up at the crack of dawn. She didn't want to lose him though I knew she could easily track him.

"Five more minutes. Too comfy," she sighed. How could I deny her?

Half an hour later, I held on to her as she gradually woke up. "Peeta?" I traced my hand down her cheek and upper lip. She kissed my finger and smiled. "When we get home, can we stay in bed for a week?"

I laughed. We are so in tune to each other with our thoughts. "Whatever you want, Katniss," I murmured as kissed her forehead.

For breakfast, we feasted on wild berries. I let her picked them remembering my nightlock incident. It wasn't enough to satisfy appetite but it would have to do. I had less or not at all in the Capitol. We washed them down with water.

"How far is he?" I asked Katniss as we trailed behind Gale twenty minutes later. Hungry, cold and tired, I walked behind her as she led the way.

"He's over there." She pointed to a large tree 30 yards away from us. Gale was on his knees inspecting the ground.

"He's laying down a snare, I think," Katniss explained. We snuck up closer behind him making sure he didn't hear us. Or at least he didn't hear me.

I gasped. "Katniss, he laying down a trap," I whispered to her. On the ground was a metallic trap similar to the one the mutt dog got caught in. "Shit." I prayed that Haymitch didn't send anyone after us. My thoughts went to Johanna. If there was anyone who would come after us, it would be Johanna.

"We need to be careful," Katniss said the obvious. I nodded my head in agreement. My leg started to ache an hour later as we trailed after Gale. Where he was going, we didn't know when suddenly, he stopped and looked up into the sky. Ahead of him, a small dot appeared. I couldn't tell what it was when he reached behind him and pulled out his compound bow. He drew an arrow and aimed at the flying object. Once released it hit the object causing it to crash land into the earth.

As it barreled down it passed overhead and landed half a mile behind us. Gale then ran towards it. "Shit, hide," Katniss whispered as she grabbed my hand and pushed me against a wide tree. "He's coming this way."

Once Gale passed us we ran right behind him making sure we kept our distance hoping that he wouldn't detect our presence. The pain in my leg increased with each step I took that I finally stumbled. "Peeta are you okay?" I nodded my head. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I lied as I grimaced. "I just lost my footing." I stood up. "Come on, Gale is getting ahead of us. We don't want to lose him."

I ran as best as I could with the pain radiating from my lower left leg. Katniss was determined to keep Gale in our sights. We couldn't afford to lose him.

The smell of oil and burned wood filled the air. I gasped in horror and fear once we reached the crash site. Katniss and I hid amongst the trees as Gale inspected the down bot. The capsule was still intact as Gale's arrow shot up the landing pad. He looked around the bot and pulled the door open.

"Well, isn't this a nice surprise," Gale spoke. He reached and pulled out…Delly from the capsule. Both Katniss and I gasped in horror. Just as I was about to leave my hiding spot to confront Gale, Johanna and…Alec arrived with Rory right behind them.

All three had aimed their rifles toward him. Gale quickly reached into his belt and held a knife on Delly's throat.

"Delly?" Johanna screamed. "What the hell? What are you doing here? Oh my god, Delly!"

"I'm sorry Johanna," she said. Delly appeared shaken but unharmed. She wore a dark pants, shirt and jackets with boots; an attire I was not accustomed to. It was a look I hated on her. She didn't look like Delly, my childhood friend who wore dresses and ribbons in her hair. I blinked my eyes twice making sure she wasn't a figment of my imagination.

"Isn't this a nice reunion among friends," Gale said in a sarcastic tone. "All I need is Katniss and Peeta to complete this little party." His voice was gleeful as though he was enjoying himself. He looked disheveled and in need of a hair cut and shave. His eyes were bloodshot and there were deep dark circles under his eyes. It was obvious he was using.

"Let her go, Gale," Johanna roared at him. He laughed. "Glad to see you in one piece, little brother." He smiled at Rory. "I hope you enjoyed my love tap." Rory winced, the comment meant to hurt and distract him.

"Gale, let her go," he begged his older brother.

"Now why would I do that?" He tightened his grip around Delly. "She's one of Mellarks girlfriends."

"I'm not Peeta's girl––"

"Shut up, bitch," Gale exclaimed as he screamed in her ear. Tears formed in Delly's eyes. I knew she was trying to remain strong, but I could tell she was frightened out of her mind. "I mean it's only fair that I should take something from him since he stole Katniss from me."

"Katniss was not stolen, Hawthorne," Johanna said. "You can't steal something that was never yours to begin with. She willingly chose Peeta."

"Katniss was mine," he bellowed. "He had no right to steal her from me."

"You sound like a broken record. Blah, blah, blah. Just put the knife down, Hawthorne," Johanna instructed as she cocked her rifle at his head. "Let Delly go, she's an innocent bystander."

"I don't take orders from you, Mason," he spat. "I want Mellark. I have a score to settle with him."

I stood up from my hiding spot and walked over to Gale. "Peeta," Katniss yelled. "What are you doing?" She attempted to pull me back but I was already walking over to them.

"I'm right here Gale," I said with my hands up in the air.

"Peeta, thank god you're all right," Johanna said in relief.

"I really wished you…" I sighed. The three most important people I cared about were here. I had hope that my confrontation with Gale would only involved me but of course, the women in my life stuck their necks out for me placing their lives in danger. How lucky can a guy be to have that kind of friendship and bond with three amazing women?

"Stay back Johanna. This is between me and Gale."

"Do what he says unless you want me to cut your girlfriend's throat."

"You do that, Hawthorne and I won't hesitate to shoot you in the head." She leveled her rifle at him. "And I won't miss I assure you. Just give me any reason to shoot you."

"Johanna, please let me handle this." I turned to him. "You have my undivided attention."

"I had a feeling that you were out there, but I couldn't figure out where," he returned. "Where's Catnip? I want to see her."

"Delly are you okay?" I asked ignoring him. She didn't appeared injured but I was concerned and worried about her baby.

"I'm a little banged up from the crash but I'm all right, Peeta."

"Shut the fuck up and tell me where is Katniss," Gale hollered with impatience.

"I'm right here Gale," she said as she stood beside me and grabbed my hand. It was gesture he noticed right away.

"Hi, Catnip," he jeered at her.

"You really need to stop this Gale," she said as released my hand and took a step towards him.

"I will once you leave him and come back to me," he suggested. "Tell Peeta that you really love me and that you're with him because you felt sorry for him." He was focused on Katniss gazing at her with love in his eyes. I knew that look of love and longing. I was once in his shoes.

"Gale––"

"You know that we're good together. Don't you remember back in 12 how we protected and saved each other? We're best friends and hunting partners. You're the love of my life, Katniss. I love you."

"I love you too, Gale," she returned. A big smile appeared on his face as if she had given him the world. "But I'm not in love with you."

"No you love me." His face fell.

"Yes, I do but like family. I love you like a brother." I winced as Gale's face turned jubilant to fury. Had Katniss told me she loved me like a brother, my heart would have shattered. I could imagine what it was doing to him. I felt sorry for him.

"A brother, you mean like Rory? Fuck you, Catnip. I don't want you to love me like a brother."

"It's all I a can offer you," she proclaimed.

"No, no, no, I don't believe you," he said as he shook his head in denial.

"I love Peeta,"

"No," he sobbed in anguish and fury.

"I'm in love with him."

"No, no. Stop saying that," he spoke, shaking his head.

"He's the only one I want. He's everything I never knew I wanted."

"How could you? What does he have that I don't?" he questioned her. I asked that question myself. How can she love me now as I'm broken with a hijacked mind and missing leg? Why couldn't she admit that she loved me when I was whole?

"There are a thousand reasons why I love him. Gale," she said, her voice was calm and confident. "Reasons that are important to me and me alone. I don't owe you any explanations as to why I love him. I just do."

"That's not good enough," he roared. "What the fuck do you see in him? I don't understand why women fall all over him. I can't see it."

"I see it and I'm a man," Alec surmised in a serious tone. Johanna cackled and snickered at him.

"Watch it Baylor," Johanna teased. "Katniss is very possessed with anyone who looks at him.

"Shut up all of you." Gale breathed hard through his mouth. For a few seconds, no one moved or spoke. The air was thing with tension. Rory was quiet and stayed behind Johanna while Alec flanked her on her right side. Just as I was about to ask what Gale wanted to do a series of howls pierced the air. The pack wasn't close but it meant that they were around in our vicinity.

"Great, more company," Gale sneered. "I hope you like my pets."

"What the hell was that?" Johanna asked as she looked at me for an explanation.

"There's a pack of mutt dogs loose," Katniss explained.

"You got to be kidding me," Rory exclaimed. "I thought you put those down, Gale. You were ordered to take care of them." He looked sick and scared. "Geez, Gale."

"I was hoping to use them to hunt Peeta down, but it seems that they're not trainable."

"You think asshole," Johanna spat. "You couldn't do the job yourself so you let loose a pack of dangerous animals in the forest. You're certifiable."

"There good for hunting." Gale shrugged his shoulders.

"You put everyone in danger Gale," I reminded him. "Do did ever think that when you sent those dogs after me, you were also putting Katniss is danger? She almost died yesterday." I understood that he sent the pack to find me, but he also endangered Katniss with his stupidity. I took a deep breath. I had expected a confrontation with Gale was about to happen soon, I just didn't anticipate Johanna and especially Delly to be involved.

"I knew you would sacrifice your life for hers. You're too predictable," he smirked. "Besides, I knew she can handle her own."

"One of them came after me, you bastard," Katniss roared. "If it wasn't for Peeta, I would be dead by now."

"But you're not and––" Out of nowhere a large buck crossed our path as it reached the center of the area we were occupying. A large mutt dog appeared pouncing onto the defenseless animal right after it. Rory froze as Alec pulled him to safety. The buck got onto its' feet as it recovered and took off. The mutt then turned to Katniss and me growling when it realized the buck ran away.

"Oh, shit." Katniss pulled out her knife from her backpack. I reached for my own.

"Katniss," I called to her.

Another dog careened into the area, growling at Gale and Delly. "Fuck." Johanna blurted shocked and surprised. Rory was nowhere on sight. Alec fired hitting the dog as it howled in pain. It ran into the woods howling.

"Peeta," Delly screamed causing the other mutt to divert its' attention from me to her. Distracted Gale dropped his knife and used Delly as a shield. Coward. He tried to reach behind for his pack when another mutt dog crashed into them sending Delly and himself crashing onto the ground.

"Shoot Johanna," I yelled at her. She opened fire hitting one that growled near Delly. She kept firing until it landed on the ground dead. "Delly, run." She ran to Katniss who was closest to her.

Gale stood up and ran leaving us to deal with the first mutt. It was larger, his size bigger than the others that his height reached my chest. Alec opened fire and shot its' hind leg. The mutt howled in pain but was still mobile as it turned to Alec at the last second. He shot the dog two more times walking backwards as it approached him. As he continued to fire he tripped backwards causing him to land on his backside losing concentration and focus on the approaching animal. It happened so fast that it didn't cross my mind what I did next. It was instinctual as I saw Alec helpless on the ground while the mutt dog was focused him.

I ran and jumped on its' back reliving yesterday's fight. This fight felt longer than the last dog I encountered. It howled in pain, the sound echoing in the air. My vision blurred ignoring everything and everyone around me. I held on into its' hair neck for balance while it tried to get me off its' back. "Peeta!" Both Delly and Katniss screamed at me. I can hear their voices in the back of my head but I was too focused as I stabbed the dog's neck over and over until it made a gurgling sound and dropped onto its' belly. Then it whimpered on its' last breath. It was finally dead.

Tired and feeling the pain radiating from my limb, I dropped on the ground beside it. My chest heaved from exertion and adrenaline. I closed my eyes for second just as Katniss knelt beside me screaming.

"Peeta, damnit," she sobbed and cried at the same time. "What were you thinking?" She examined my body with her hands feeling for any injuries on chest, arms and neck.

"Katniss?"

"Oh my God, Peeta. Peeta!" She pulled me onto her lap, cradling my head onto her chest. I felt her heartbeat and it was the loveliest sound I have ever heard. "Peeta, Peeta," she chanted. "You got to stop doing that."

"Huh, what?" My mind was too muddled to comprehend what she was saying.

"Katniss?"

"Oh god, oh god, oh god," she repeated as pressed her lips on my head.

"Katniss, I change my mind," I said, my voice low and soft as my breath even out.

"What?" She stopped and looked down at my face. There was relief, joy and love in her eyes. Something I hoped to see for the rest of our lives.

"I want to get a cat instead." She laughed and cried as pressed her cheek on my temple. Kisses followed as she peppered my nose, cheeks, forehead and my mouth. She kissed me hard, lips and tongue tangled against each other probing inside our mouths. I missed her kisses. I didn't know how long we were making out when someone cleared their throat.

"Ahem…"

Katniss and I stopped as we directed our attention to our audience. Alec had a goofy look on his face while Delly smiled with joy her hands clasped together in front of her lips.

"Don't mean to interrupt the love fest but don't you think we should book it incase we meet up with another pack of dogs," Johanna snickered.

"You have no idea how good it is to see you, Johanna," I returned as she knelt down beside us and embraced me. Then, she turned to Katniss also hugging her in relief.

"I knew that you two were okay," she commented. "I told Haymitch that as long as you two were together, you would protect and take care of each other."

"It's good to see you too, Johanna," Katniss repeated.

"Peeta, you saved my life," Alec boasted. "Man, you're were awesome holding onto him like that." I sat up and lifted myself off the ground with a bit of help from Katniss. As I stood on my feet, I wobbled for second trying to get balanced. Suddenly, Delly crashed onto me hugging me close. The back of my leg bumped into the dead mutt behind me.

"Oh, Peeta, I was so worried and scared for you and Katniss," she wheezed as tears formed in her eyes. "I'm just so happy to see you." Then, an irate Johanna yanked her out of our embrace.

"What the fuck Delly?" Johanna screamed. "I just realized that you were inside the supply bot." My brows furrowed as I turned my head to the bot. _'Oh shit.'_

"How did you convince Haymitch to let you do something that stupid…crazy," she continued.

"I was so worried about you guys. I wasn't thinking––"

"You're damn right you weren't thinking. You could have died…Gale shot you down, you idiot. Of all the stupid, irresponsible thing to do…I should slap you––" Delly reached over and hugged Johanna around the waist. She hesitated for a few seconds then returned the hug. "You're supposed to be safe with Haymitch and Effie. You shouldn't be out here. You could have hurt yourself, you and the baby."

"I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad, Delly. I'm furious. I'm so furious with you. You could have died."

"She's okay, Johanna," Katniss countered as she walked over and hugged them both. There they were, my girls were safe and sound crying as they held onto each other.

"You still didn't' answer my question," Johanna inquired as few seconds later as we collected ourselves from our ordeal. The moment was over and we still had to find our way out of the forest. Gale was another matter to settle. I still couldn't believe that two people that I love in the world besides Katniss was here with me. I blinked my eyes a couple of times while my mind caught up to the moment.

"Um…Haymitch doesn't know that I…snuck into the bot."

"What?" I hollered in disbelief. It was bad enough when I realized that she was inside the bot but with this new information, I was flabbergasted. "Delly, how could you do that?" I could admit that I was relieved to see Johanna because I knew she would come after Katniss and me. I had expected it, but for Delly to act without letting Haymitch know. That stunned me. It was impulsive, crazy and dangerous considering she was with child. I was going to berate Haymitch for letting her accompany the bot. "You shouldn't have…I can't even…" Words failed me.

"Peeta," she sobbed, her upper lip quivered. "Please don't be angry with me." Tears formed in her eyes. _'Shit.'_ "I can understand Johanna being angry with me but you…you…I couldn't stay at the hotel any longer with you guys in danger."

"Delly, you're my best friend and I love you, but this," I shouted and gestured to the bot. "…was irresponsible and reckless. You could have hurt the baby." I looked into her big blues eyes. "Now you're stuck with us. There's mutt dogs running around rampant, Gale is out there and God knows know Rory run off to." Our situation worsened.

"I'm sorry, please don't yell at me," she bawled.

"Peeta, calm down," Katniss replied. My throat tightened at idea of her losing the baby.

"Delly, you shouldn't be risking the baby over me," I stated in frustration. What is it with these women who nonchalantly risk their lives for me? "How do you think I'll feel if anything happens to you and the baby?" Delly placed her head down. _'Damnit.'_ Delly was beside herself with guilt. It didn't help with me berating her.

I'm a sucker for crying women. Her tears tore at me. My need to comfort Delly overtook my anger. It was from her heart that made her act impulsively, and her pregnancy moods swings made her irrational. She sniffled as tears ran down her face.

"Hey, I'm sorry. Don't cry," I comforted her as I took her in my arms. She trembled and cried onto the front of my shirt, weeping and bawling her eyes out. She was a messy crier. "I'm mad because you put your self in danger because of me. You shouldn't have. You're going to be a mother soon…I don't know what I would do if something happened to you and Delly junior."

She hiccuped and laughed. "It could be a boy, Peeta," she sobbed into my chest.

"Hey, don't cry anymore."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. I'm just glad that you're not hurt and everyone is alive," Katniss stated. "Come on, let's get out of here." Without further ado, we grabbed supplies that weren't damaged from the crash.

"Hey Katniss, look." I pulled out a package from Haymitch from the interior of the bot. "I think this is for you." Now, let me tell you for as long as I've known Katniss, she had always been calm and collected, never allowing anyone to see her soft and girlish side. She only revealed that side of her to me and in the privacy of her bedroom. However, she gave a loud squeal of surprise and delight as she grabbed a bow and quiver from my hand.

"Oh my god, Peeta!" she exclaimed as she wrapped her strong arms around my neck squeezing me tight in her embrace. Johanna smiled and Delly laughed with joy at her exuberance.

"Haymitch sent this not me," I reminded her.

"I know. I'm so happy." She kissed me and I laughed. I hated the fact that Katniss felt unsafe and defenseless. She wasn't comfortable holding the knife in her hand, as she wasn't adept to fighting in hand-to-hand combat. I grew up with two older brothers and was a member of the wrestling team. I never felt comfortable with a bow and knives, but using it became a necessity especially if it meant to protect the people I love. We both knew our strengths and weakness.

"I've never seen any girl react like that before," Alec blurted. "I mean flowers, candy, jewelry and night out to dinner maybe, but a bow?"

"You don't know Katniss Everdeen," Johanna snickered. "Only two things in the world matter to her." She pointed to me. "Him and her bow."

Once we collected all the supplies that were salvageable, we left the area in a hurry. My knee acted up once the adrenaline wore off from the excitement and danger. Katniss led the way with me trailing behind her. I hid the soreness and ache from everyone. I didn't want to slow us down.

"I don't want you out of me sight or far from me, Peeta," she said. "Stick close to me no matter what." Delly walked besides Johanna while Alec at the rear. We were safe in numbers but it also made us a bigger target for Gale.

"I'm worried about Rory," I told my hunter girlfriend. She nodded her head. Gale may no longer exist in her life, but the rest of the Hawthorne meant something to her. She couldn't abandon them just because she and Gale were no longer friends.

"He knows how to survive in the woods," Katniss informed me. "Gale needed another hunting partner and Rory was the perfect age to learn. He'll be okay. We just need to get to him before Gale does."

"And he also has his Guardsmen training," Alec added.

"I know that, but you saw how he reacted when the mutt dogs attacked us," I said. "He panicked and ran." I couldn't blame. He didn't experienced what Johanna, Katniss and I lived through at the arena. However, Johanna had a difference of opinion.

"He's just like his brother," Johanna spat with derision. "Fucking cowards, the both of them." She voiced what we dared not to say or wanted to admit.

"I can't believe Rory ran out like that," Delly said. She was blunt but truthful. I winced at her comment.

"I do, those Hawthorne boys are nothing but a bunch of cowards," Johanna continued.

"He's just a kid, Johanna," I reminded her.

"We all were when we were reaped," she added. "You didn't run away in the arena. You fought along side Finnick, Katniss and me. Rory may still be a kid but he's in the Guardsmen trained to be a soldier carrying a rifle. He was trained for combat and look what he did the first chance he encountered danger. He ran."

"He's not like us; you, me, Katniss and Alec," I defended Rory. "He may have been trained, but it still doesn't prepare you for actual combat. He panicked." It's true I fought in the arena for my life but I had another motive. My motive was Katniss. I'd die for her and I would certainly kill for her too.

We took a bio and lunch break two hours later. Johanna was leading us back towards the tracks. She didn't signal Haymitch yet to retrieve us. We needed to make sure that we gained enough distance from Gale. Which was probably unlikely. I was certain he was tracking us. Gale was anything but stubborn and persistent.

"Once we reached the tracks, I'll signal Haymitch to let him know we're okay for now," she said. I was going to ask her about Gale but stopped myself. "We designated a rendezvous point once I found you two. We have another day until we reach it."

Katniss sat next to me as we ate the food Haymitch sent on the bot. I felt a sense of relief and comfort amongst my friends. "When we get home, Peeta, you have to make some Cheese Buns," Delly demanded. "Baby Cartwright really misses them." I smiled at her optimism.

"Sure, whatever 'Baby Cartwright' wants, Delly." I teased her. Johanna in turn teased her over her attire. It was wonderful to be with them again.

Katniss leaned over and whispered in my ear. "You and I have a date with a tub and a soft bed back in District 12."

"I look forward to it," I returned as I kissed her forehead. She grabbed my hand squeezing tight sending me the calm I needed. Two mutt dogfights in over 24 hours had me exhausted and petrified for everyone's safety. We had no idea how many were out there.

I was pleased that Johanna took over leading us out of the forest. For hours we had no contact with Gale and Rory. I started to get worried for him.

"I hope Rory's okay," I whispered to Katniss. She nodded head. Rory was an innocent bystander roped into his brother' insanity. He didn't deserve any heat or blame.

"Johanna, can we take a bio break?" Delly asked. To my amusement, we had stopped several times due to her 'condition.' It seemed the more water she drank, she more needed a pee break.

"Again?" Johanna blustered. Delly glared back at her, hands on her hips. "Okay, okay. We'll be right back." Each of us went with a partner whenever we needed a break. We couldn't afford to be ambushed by Gale. Of course, Katniss insisted she 'accompany' me to Johanna's amusement.

"He's my boyfriend. There is nothing he's done I don't know about." It was embarrassing. As Alec, Katniss and I waited, Rory appeared, he was dishevel and frightened pointing his rifle at us. There were tears in his eyes.

"Rory?" Katniss called out to him "What are you––"

"You need to leave my brother alone," he threatened us. "I won't let any of you kill him."

"Rory, I would never hurt your brother in any way." I tried to assure him.

"I don't believe you."

"Rory, put your rifle down," Alec demanded him. Alec was a seasoned soldier. He's quick on his feet and ready to fight. It was obvious in the way he reacted to Gale and the mutt dogs. How good of a shot he was, I wasn't certain? He was a decent baker and that was all I knew about him, but somehow I trusted him. He admired Katniss because he knew her as the MockingJay. She led a rebellion and he followed. As for Johanna, I knew he was interested in her. So I was concern with his pursuit of her. No one was good enough for her so I was weary of his intentions. But there was something about him I recognized in myself. He was kind, patience and thoughtful, someone that Johanna needed. Only time would tell if she would give him a chance. I warned him that if he hurt her not only would he be dealing with me, but that Katniss, Delly and Haymitch would come after him as well.

Katniss raised her hands in the air. Her bow and quiver rested on her back. "I promise you, Rory. I won't let anyone hurt him."

"Really?" She nodded her head. "Can I trust you to keep your word?"

"I swear Rory," she promised him.

"Hey, Hawthorne," Johanna appeared surprising him from behind. She hit his head with the end of rifle causing to land on the ground unconscious. Checking to make sure he was out, she leaned down and checked his pulse. "Out like a light. Thank god."

"You didn't have to do that, Johanna," Katniss threw at her, her voice hard.

"I'm not taking any chances with him," she returned as picked up Rory's rife and handed it to Alec. A look passed between them. She then removed handcuffs from her pack and locked it into Rory's hands.

"Listen, Katniss. Rory is unreliable and will likely help his 'brother' before he'll help Peeta," she explained. "My priority is Peeta. He…" She pointed at Rory. "…will think of family first…and that means Gale. No matter what he's done, he'll choose his brother over your boyfriend. Family is family, Katniss." She was right in her assessment as she checked his pockets. She found a small knife on his right ankle.

"Rory would never let Gale hurt Peeta or any of us," she defended him.

"You trust him to chose Peeta over Gale? He ran off leaving us to deal with the mutt dogs," Johanna sneered back. "Rory let Gale get away right after blowing us to bits."

"What are you talking about?" I asked. Something happened with between them. It was story I haven't heard yet.

"You can be mad all you want, Katniss. I think you should be thinking of Peeta's safety and not worrying about your ex-boyfriend's little brother. Where's your loyalty?" She was irritated and annoyed with Katniss.

"Johanna, you know that Gale was never my boyfriend," Katniss said in an exasperated tone. "And don't you ever question my loyalty to Peeta." I knew she hated being reminded of the mistakes and choices she made regarding Gale. Johanna just threw it on her face for good measure.

"Whatever," she responded.

"Hey, stop it," Delly interrupted them before they had a full-blown argument. Everyone was tired and uneasy. "We're in this together. Stop fighting with each other." My left leg ached and I needed sleep, but our day was far from over. "Peeta are you okay?"

Johanna, Delly and Katniss directed their attention to me. I stood on both legs but was favoring my left one. It was obvious that I was in pain. "Oh my god, did the two of you fail to see that Peeta is in pain or were you just too busy arguing?" She reached for me before I stumbled to the ground landing on my ass as I rubbed my upper thigh.

"Hey," Katniss screamed at Delly as she unbuckled my belt. "What the hell are you doing?"

"He's favoring his leg, Katniss. It must be hurting. I need to see his leg."

"I know that but that doesn't mean you have the right to be undressing him," my possessive girlfriend informed her.

"Oh for crying out loud, Katniss," Delly sighed in exasperation. "I'm his nurse. It's not like I haven't seen––"

"I'll do it," she grumbled under her breath. I lifted my hips off the ground as Katniss lowered my pants to reveal my stump.

"Shit, Peeta, your leg is swollen and red. Why didn't you say anything?" Delly flinched as she removed my prosthesis.

"Peeta?" Katniss cried out beside me. I'm stressed, exhausted and in pain that I didn't argue with Delly as she placed a pill in my mouth and I downed in it with water. The effects of the pills were instant as the pain on my leg lessened. However, it made me feel loopy as if I drank a bottle of Haymitch's favorite liquor. Johanna remained near Rory incase he woke up with Alec flanking her. I smiled at the two of them. They looked good together.

"Thanks, Belly Delly," I blurted, feeling sleepy and drunk at the same time. She giggled.

"Aw, Peeta, you haven't called me that since we were…8 years old," she guffawed. Johanna and Katniss snickered at my behavior. "He was always sensitive to morphine and alcohol. Johanna, do you remember on his birthday, he started to striptease us after we drank a whole bottle of Winter Solstice?" I watched as my girlfriend scowled at Delly. "That was a fun night."

The world around me was fuzzy. I reached out to Katniss needing her comfort as the pill worked its' magic. "How are you feeling," she asked me.

"Better." Meanwhile, Delly rubbed ointment on my leg soothing the swelling and pain around my stump. I sighed in relief. "You're the best nurse ever, Delly." Katniss replaced my leg and pants after she wrapped my stumt with the plants she picked. I felt uneasy with it off in the middle of the forest. I didn't want to be caught with my pants down so to speak.

For a few minutes I relaxed on the ground as the pill relieved the pain on my stump. Rory groaned as he woke up from the induced slumber he received from Johanna.

"What's going on?" he asked realizing his hands were cuffed and his rifle taken away from him.

"I'm placing you under arrest?" Johanna answered him. She was calm as she addressed him. This was the Johanna I knew, strong, hard and unyielding. She wasn't dressed in the Guardsmen's uniform but she held herself like she was born one. I was proud of her.

Rory's eyes grew wide. "What for?"

"For insubordination, abandoning your assignment and for threatening the life of a superior officer." She pointed to Alec. "When you volunteered, you were assigned to protect Peeta from your brother. You fail to do so twice. So as your commanding officers, I have the right to arrest you as I see fit."

"Katniss?" He sought for her help and assistance.

"I'm sorry Rory, but I can't help you." She knew better to involve herself with military politics.

"Gale is my brother, your best friend," he pleaded his case.

"And Peeta is my boyfriend. I will always choose him." The pills were strong causing me to feel sleepy. I had a hard time keeping my eyes open.

"Just close your eyes and rest, Peeta," Delly suggested. "We're not going anywhere."

Suddenly, the world around me turned bright and loud as trees around us exploded. The noise startled me. Bright lights and heat surrounded us. Katniss placed her body over mine covering me as debris, dirt and splinters of woods pelted us. I heard Delly scream as I realized that she too was hovered over me.

"Shit run for cover," Johanna yelled over the din of explosions. I tried to keep my eyes open as everything turned to chaos. I felt Katniss' breath as it brushed against my neck. It was harsh and hot. I wrapped my arm around her waist while she pressed herself on top of me. She trembled with fear. My last thoughts were of Katniss and everyone I loved. I couldn't help but close my eyes thinking this was not the way I wanted to die. We were being attacked and there wasn't a damn thing I could do as the world turned black around me.

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_**AN: Thank you for reading this chapter. We're close to the ending. Maybe 2 -3 chapters left with a bonus chapter or epilogue. It depends how I re-edit and separate the rest of the story. Thanks again.**_


	54. Chapter 54 - Promises Broken and Made

Chapter 54 – Promises Broken and Made

_AN: Wow, we're close to the end soon. I can't believe it's been year since I started this story. I had outlined and predicted 30 chapters so…I guess I wrote more than I had intended. I hope all of you have enjoyed reading it as much I enjoyed writing 'The Weary Heart." Many thanks for those who favored, alerted my story. And special thanks to Matainer, Manaliac, LACR, Tea4e and IcyPinkLemonade. All rights belong to Suzanne Collins. Any mistakes found are mine. Happy reading._

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**Effie POV ––**

A vase crashed onto a wall spilling water and flowers all over the floor. I sighed. "Haymitch, darling. Please calm down." He had been pacing and ranting the moment we realized that Delly stowed away into the supply bot. By the time we realized what had happened, it was too late to retrieve it. To say that Haymitch was furious was an understatement.

"Calm down, calm down!" he spoke through clenched teeth. "How can I calm down when…I cannot even… of all the stupid, reckless, idiotic things I have ever seen…this tops it all, Effie. What was Delly thinking?"

I schooled my tone to sooth my already irate husband. "She was thinking of her friends who are danger and wanted to help."

"I know that…I wanted to go myself," he reiterated. "I'm going out of my mind with worry and she…she…she's pregnant for fuck's sake. Not only is she endangering her life but the baby as well."

"Well, I hear that being pregnant makes you…irrational and––"

"Don't you fucking say she's hormonal and wasn't thinking straight. That excuse won't fly with me. Peeta will be fit to be tied when he sees her."

"Haymitch, I really appreciate if you don't use that tone with me…and watch your language," I grated in irritation. "Don't yell at me."

He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry Effie." He combed his hair between his fingers from forehead to the back of his neck and sat down. "I was already worried about Peeta, Katniss and Johanna out there with Alec and Rory. Now…with Delly, I just…I can't lose any of them." This was why I never had children. My stint as an Escort Reaper was a job that was rewarding and a burden. I tried not to get involved with the new tributes. I knew how they affected me once I got to know them. Haymitch used alcohol as a way to deal with his trauma as a Victor and mentor. I indulged my self with clothes, trinkets and accessories as a way to cope. Though now that there aren't any more games and reapings, I tinkered with the idea of having a child. However, if this is what having children entailed; worry, frustration and fear, I may have to rethink of my idea of motherhood.

"I'm too old to be playing mentor to everyone."

"I think you meant to say 'you're too tired be playing father' to Peeta, Katniss, Delly and Johanna," I corrected him. "Haymitch, they are grown up to handle themselves. You're talking about the four most independent and responsible people I have ever met. They can take care of themselves and each other."

"They're still kids, Effie," he recounted. "I feel responsible for them. I know that they had to grow up faster than most, but I want them to have a bit of time as teenagers in their already messed up lives. They're experienced so much horror and trauma, especially Katniss, Peeta and Johanna." I wanted to argue back and remind him that he too was just as young and lost as much. "They're like my kids, you know?" I was glad he recognized that fact. He was old enough to be their father since most young adults married early as soon as they passed reaping age.

"Have you heard from Johanna?"

"No. I just hope that's a good sign, I guess." He looked tired, stressed and sleep deprived. And, adding Delly to his already fragile state of mind did not help matters.

"Well, why don't you contact her?"

"I've tried. She's either not getting my signals or…" He flinched as a thought occurred to him. "Or, she can't." He couldn't or didn't want to voice his fears. The fact that she was not communicating could mean that they're dead.

"What do you want to do?" I knew what he wanted to do. He wanted to go after them.

"Pack my stuff and get more help." I knew my husband well. I knew Haymitch Abernathy, the 50th Hunger Games Victor. With our years together as mentor and reaping escort, we learned each other strengths and weaknesses.

"But you won't…I mean you shouldn't," I replied. There was no way I was letting him leave me. We've only been married a few weeks and I didn't want to be a widow. "Then the only thing you can do is acquire more help."

"I promised Peeta that I wouldn't involve anymore people. Look what happened to Hayden and Julia." Ah, the former Peeta and Katniss lookalike. "I can't even go to Paylor. The woman would send a whole platoon if she knew. Peeta was against it. He said and I quote, _'I don't need anymore blood on my hands.'_ He was adamant about it."

"Quite noble of him." I meant it with great sincerity. If Peeta had his way, Delly, Johanna and Katniss would not be involved.

"Well, the kid has a point. We need to handle this on our own. Its' just Gale, but I really have a bad feeling about this, Effie. I feel in my gut. Something bad is going to happen." I was curious but didn't press him further. I had enough stress to compile it with his ominous scenario. I walked over to him and sat on his lap. He immediately wrapped his arms around my waist. There wasn't anything I could do but support and comfort him.

He sighed as he placed his head on the nook of my neck nestling his face on my skin. He smelled of aftershave, a manly scent instead of reeking of alcohol and vomit. I thanked any higher being for Peeta and Katniss. Because without them, Panem would still be under Snow's rule and Haymitch would wallowing in alcohol and self-pity. They changed him for the better allowing us to finally be together. "I'm sorry, Effie."

"What are you sorry about?" I relished the quiet moments like this when it's jus the two of us. I love the kids, but privacy and alone time has been rare. I mean I did just get a married few weeks ago.

"This was not how I wanted to start our married life." He grabbed my necklace, a token of his commitment to me. It was the Capitol's version of District 12's toasting. "I had hoped we'd be in District 12 by now."

"Haymitch, when I said yes, I knew what I was signing on," I placed a hand on his cheek. "Peeta, Katniss and everyone are part of your family which makes them my family too. I wouldn't want it any other way."

"I should have waited to ask you."

"We danced around this long enough. I wouldn't have wanted to wait." I leaned up to kiss him but we were interrupted by Misty. She was the nurse I hired to take care of Bron. Delly would have taken cared of him but…

"Ms. Trinket?" she announced herself. She was short woman with brown hair and eyes from District 5. She had worked in the Capitol in Dr Aurelius' hospital and was recommended and trusted by Aurelius. With her quiet unimposing stature and demeanor, I had never guessed she was a nurse. "Mr. Masters would like to see you."

"Let Bron know that I'll see him in a few minutes," I instructed her. "How is he doing by the way?"

"He keeps asking for Ms. Cartwright. He fought me in taking his medication but I won," she snickered.

"And how did you do that, Misty," I asked, curious.

"I told him that if didn't take his medication then Ms. Cartwright would be forbidden to see him since they're no longer engaged." I briefed Misty of the people that would be visiting Bron. Haymitch was adamant of keeping him around. He had high hopes for Delly and Bron to reconcile before the baby as born. He liked Bron to at least be in the baby's life even Delly and he didn't get back together.

"_No child should be deprived of its parents," Haymitch quoted. "Just because they broke up doesn't mean that he shouldn't be in his kid's life. It isn't fair to the child just because its mother and father screwed up."_

"Oh, dear," I responded. "What am I going to tell Bron about Delly?" Misty left us alone and went back to Bron.

"Don't say anything if he asks about her."

"Haymitch, I'm not going to start lying to him," I scolded him.

"What good will it do if you tell him that she stowed away on a deliver bot and we can't get a hold of her. The guys already miserable over his broken engagement and she's carrying his baby," he argued with me.

"And lying to him will––"

"Only make him stress more. Just don't tell him for a day or two, wait until I hear from Johanna, please?"

Frustrated for being put on the spot I asked him, "So what I going to tell him? He's probably wondering why Delly hasn't seen him."

"That shouldn't be a problem since Delly told me that he asked her if she could forgive him and give him a second chance."

"Oh."

"Yeah." Haymitch appeared hopeful.

"What did she say?"

"She didn't say yes and she didn't say no either. For now she has been avoiding him," he added. "Not that I blame her."

"Poor dear, it must be heartbreaking to be in her situation. Alone, pregnant and having her heart broken." I shivered at the outcome of Bron's betrayal. Delly's ex-fiancé was a nice young man who screwed up. If he had been truthful in the beginning, Peeta would have known his stalker and would have prevented a lot of what had happened to him, especially with his abduction from Eva Perry. I knew of Ms. Perry back in the Capitol. She was known for her obsession with the male victors. Poor Peeta.

"I better see to him now," I said with a sigh. I kissed Haymitch my poor suffering husband on the cheek. "I need you to do me a favor."

"Any thing you want Effie?" I smirked at him. He would regret making that promise.

"Tonight, just for tonight can we go out to dinner? Just the two of us?"

"Effie, I can't do that. How can I go out to dinner when I know that Peeta and everyone are in danger? I can't, I just can't––" He looked panicked and more stressed than ever. This was why I asked him. I had already made my mind up that when this whole ordeal was over, I will insist on taking a couple of weeks together, alone time so to speak.

"You're stressed and haven't been eating well. You need your strength. We haven't left this room in days. It's just for a couple of hours, honey."

"I don't know if I could eat and…I just don't feel comfortable about leaving."

"Its' just dinner with just the two of us. We'll go someplace private and relax for an hour or two. You need it. We need it," I stressed the last sentence. "You can bring your datapad if you want. If it'll make you feel better." I couldn't deprive him of his only connection with the kids. "Just think about it. I'll make reservations and if you decide not to go I can easily cancel it." I touched his hand. "Just don't dismiss my idea. We need time to ourselves even if it's just for an hour, Haymitch."

I left to let him decide and mull it over.

"Get away from me." I heard Bron's voice as I approached his room.

"Now what on earth is going here?" I fisted my hand placing them on my hips. Bron looked scared. Misty had a bowl of water and a sponge in her hand.

"She…she wants to give me a sponge bath," he freaked as he held onto his blanket covering his chest. The situation was so amusing. Here was a grown man terrified with his nurse half his size hiding behind his blanket. "Where's Delly? She can take care of me."

"She isn't here, Mr. Masters," Misty spoke with patience, voice firm but soft. "Ms. Cartwright is not your assigned nurse to take care of you."

"I know that but––"

"Bron, Misty is here for you. You need assistance for your daily needs."

"But can Delly––" His eyes grew wide.

"She's pregnant and needs her rest,' Misty explained. "I am your nurse until you completely recover. You can't expect Ms. Cartwright to take care of herself and the baby while you recover from your injuries. She's at the most critical time of her pregnancy." I flinched at Misty's comment. As a nurse, Delly also knew this. So why would she endanger herself? I knew why. She also loved Peeta. It was obvious of her attachment and attraction to him.

Granted she fell in love with Bron, but one can never forget their first love; especially if your first love was also your best friend. Who can blame her? Even hard and no-nonsense Johanna Mason loved him. He was easy to love. It was the reason why she accepted the position as the Commander of the Guardsmen. Her position gave her the resource to help Peeta. "Now stop being selfish and let her rest. Ms. Cartwright will come to visit when she's rested."

Bron looked at me for help. "I'd do what she say, Bron. You won't win arguing with her."

Misty took her job and responsibilities seriously. Also, she was curious to meeting Katniss and Peeta. After she found out whom she would be working for, it didn't take time to convince her to leave her post at the hospital.

"Let me do my job, you're not the only one I was assigned to take care of." Misty's other responsibilities was Delly. She was to make sure that she was taking her vitamins and eating properly. Delly was an excellent caretaker for other people. However, she was dismissive of her own welfare. When I left them I sighed in relief, the topic of Delly was delayed for an hour.

Bron relented. After a quick sponge bath and eating his meal, he asked about Delly again. When he summoned me I knew that I couldn't hide telling him why his ex-fiancée had been avoiding him. He also suspected that something was going on. As expected, he was angry, worried and flabbergasted when I relented and finally told him.

"How could you let her do that?" he exploded. I never seen Bron angry, frustrated maybe but not livid to a point his face grew so red, I thought he was going to have a heart attack. I relieved Misty so she could have a peaceful and uninterrupted lunch. This was inevitable.

"Bron, in the time you've known Delly, have you ever been able to stop her from doing what she wanted to do?" Really, as if I had any control over his fiancée, ex-fiancée's behavior. "She stubborn that's for sure."

"But to put our baby in danger because of…Peeta," he spat as anger and frustration filled him. "He doesn't even love her like I do. I don't understand the hold he has on her."

"Hey, you stop that right now. Peeta has nothing to do with––"

"Of course, it had everything to do with him. I'm not blind Effie. She's still in love with him. Why else would she endanger herself like that…she's pregnant."

"Carrying your baby, Bron," I argued back.

"And she's out there chasing after him while I'm stuck here!" he screamed back. "This all because of Peeta." I never knew he was insecure of his relationship with Delly. We all have some one way or another. But…

"Don't blame this on Peeta. You're in this position because you betrayed her…you betrayed Peeta. Your intention wasn't pure when you started dating Delly. She lost faith and trust in you."

"I said I was sorry. What more can I do?" he whined like a two year toddler. What is it about grown men when they're sick they act like a baby?

"Sorry isn't enough. Yes, she loved Peeta first," I reminded him.

"I know that. Why can't people stop saying that?"

"Because you need to remember that he was her first love. Though they never got together, their friendship was…is important to them. She went out there for love and friendship. They are family…their bond grew when their world was bombed and obliterated. They had no one but each other when the bones of their family were buried underneath the rubble from the explosion. You don't forget that," I retorted. "The bond between grew out of that tragedy. You and I," I pointed between us. "….will never know what it feels like to lose that much."

Bron looked ashamed. "You need to get over your petty jealousy of Peeta and…if you intended to earn your love back from Delly, you need to face the fact that there is something between them. Not sexual, but love and friendship that comes from loss and despair."

"I'm so worried, Effie."

"You have every right to be angry and concerned," I said calming my already shattered nerves. "She is reckless for putting her life in danger. I give you that." Both he and Haymitch had the right to be angry at Delly. I am too. _'What was she thinking?'_

"I know that there is nothing going on between Peeta and Delly. I know that he's crazy head over heels in love with Katniss. But with Delly, I feel as if I'm second choice. That she will pick him every time over me." There was sorrow, resignation and pain in his eyes.

"That is something you will have to get over if expect to reunite with Delly. Peeta is special I can't deny that, but that doesn't mean you can't mean more to Delly. You broke her trust in you and you need to work on that. You the have right to be angry with her for going after Peeta knowing she is endangering the life of her baby. But you and she do no exist together as a couple. You did that." It was a cold and hard truth Bron had to swallow.

**Later that evening ––**

Haymitch held my hand as we walked inside the restaurant I made reservations earlier that afternoon. He was reluctant but acquiesced. "I love the kids, I do Effie, but I have to remember I'm a husband now as well. I'm sorry if I'm been neglecting you," he said as he raised my hand and kissed my knuckles.

He wore a dark blue suit to match my dress. I gave up my eccentric makeup, accessories and wigs and wore a simple long sea green dress that accentuated my feminine curves. My usual trademark attire when I was a reaping escort was my past. It was a time I cannot erase but remind myself where I had come from. The life I have now is more that I deserve but appreciated.

"I won't deny you having them in your life, Haymitch," I reminded him. "I just have to learn to share you with them."

"You're something else, Mrs. Effie Trinket-Abernathy," he snickered. I scowled at him, but deep inside I blushed and was pleased with his name attached to mine.

For an hour we forgot about Gale, his obsession, and the kids. Though he brought his datapad to dinner with us, he at least refrained from taking a peek at the devise and devoted his time to us. It felt normal for a while, until three dark gray uniformed Guardsmen approached our table. I recognized them as Paylor's personal guards.

"I'm sorry to interrupt your dinner, Mr. Abernathy but President Paylor request your presence this evening," one of the soldiers spoke to him. Their presence created a scene in the restaurant. It wasn't necessary to _'invite'_ us with such strong tactic by sending three, uniformed armed to the teeth guards after us. A simple friendly request would have been acceptable.

"I'm trying to have a quiet night with my wife. Can't this wait until tomorrow?" Haymitch was frustrated. A long nerve on his forehead bulged from the temple to his right inner brow.

"No, it cannot, sir." His tone brooked no argument.

We were personally escorted in the Guardsmen military hover car. It was bulky, noisy and very uncomfortable ride. "Do you have any idea what she wants?" I whispered into Haymitch's ear.

"No, but think I have an idea." We arrived at a residence far from The Presidential Capitol building where Paylor set up her office. It was situated completely the opposite end of the city. The residence wasn't as palatial as the Snow mansion but was large enough to occupy 5,000 square feet compared to Snow's former mansion of 10,000 square feet of real estate. At Paylor's home, there was a 10-foot wall surrounding the house with security cameras and guards roaming the perimeter.

After the rebellion there were still dissident Capitolites that threatened the new president of Panem. Thus explaining the security measures Paylor ordered for her residence. Haymitch held my hand tight as we entered into the home stepping into large foyer made of redwood. A material that was not popular in the Capitol since most entrances were built with marble. I had expected a dull and monotone design that matched District 13 environment.

"Please follow me," the lead Guardsmen addressed Haymitch and me. A large French door opened to reveal Paylor. She extended her hand in greeting. Paylor was dressed in a dark blue pants and jacket ensemble. It was a far cry from the gray uniforms we wore in District 13. Her hair was encased in a dark red scarf turban. I would not have recognized her had I come across her in the streets of the Capitol. She looked at ease with her surroundings.

"Please accept my apologies for pulling you away from your dinner," she said as she walked over to us. It's good to see you Haymitch. Effie. I would not have disrupted your evening had I thought it was necessary to speak to you."

"It's good to see you as well President Paylor," Haymitch addressed her with formality. Paylor is a striking woman in her 30's, a young age for someone with her power and status. It's a brand new world living in Panem with new and young people taking over the government.

"You are in my home, please call me Moira. Please feel free to make yourself at home while I talk to your husband." Haymitch gasped in surprise.

"How did you know that Effie and I got married?" I was surprised myself since our marriage was not announced. It was a short ceremony that we had kept away from the media; a ceremony that we both decided to celebrate with only our loved ones.

"All matters regarding former victors are reported to me," she explained. "I'm not trying to invade your privacy. There is only so much privacy availed to you and Peeta and Katniss. Rumors and gossip will always follow you wherever you go. Especially if you enter the Capitol city limits."

"Can Effie accompany join us?"

"No, there are matters I need to discuss with you, Haymitch? I'll try not to keep you too long." They entered into a room, which was probably her office. Feeling dismissed I wandered into the living room area. I sat down and sighed as I realized this was not how I wanted our night to end. I just hoped that Haymitch was not in trouble. With our luck lately, it didn't seem like it.

* * *

**Katniss POV ––**

Peeta was still and his eyes closed as I hovered over him. "Peeta," I whispered into his ear. My lips brushed his soft earlobe. He was unresponsive. "Peeta," I repeated. The booming sound of explosions surrounded us. Dirt and debris rained everywhere. The smell of ash, incendiary and dirt smothered my nose and dusted my eyes.

"He's out," Delly explained as she shouted over the din. I crawled up further his torso so I could cover his face as debris showered us. His face was etched with pain even in his slumber.

"Where is it coming from?" I heard Johanna scream.

"I can't tell," Alec responded. They were hidden behind a large tree trunk while Rory cowered beside them.

"Who is that?" he asked.

"Who do you think, Rory?" Johanna screamed. "Who else knows we're here and wants us dead?" Her tone meant to be sarcastic but it was laced with venom and anger.

"No, Gale wouldn't be shooting us if he knew I was here." Rory stood up despite his hands being cuffed together.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Johanna yelled and tugged him back with one strong hand behind the tree. Rory plopped on the ground with loud thud on his backside.

"He'll stop. I know he will," he insisted. "Gale, it's Rory. Stop. It's me Rory." The louder he spoke the more Gale fired back at us. "Shit, Gale. Stop." Rory sobbed as his pleas to his brother were ignored. "It's me, Rory. Stop."

"Guess he doesn't care kid," Alec surmised. Another barrage of explosions exploded nearby. Alec held onto Rory making sure he didn't attempt to run. "Stay put, Rory."

"He's firing from the east of us beyond those trees," Johanna observed. She fired her rifle at said location. Gale fired back. "At least we know where he's located."

"I can't believe he won't stop," Rory cried out. "Gale, please stop." I too couldn't believe that he had opened fire knowing that his own brother was amongst us.

"Stop calling out to him. It's no use," Alec said to him. There were tears running down Rory's face. He started to stand up again. "Get down and stay still. Do you want to get killed? He's obviously not stopping." Rory struggled against Alec trying to get loose from his grasp. "I mean it."

"Katniss, are you guys okay over there," Johanna shouted at us.

"Peeta's out like a light. Delly and I are fine," I responded back as I turned to her. "Delly don't move." She had a look of panic on her face. She was beyond frightened. Having Delly amongst us made the situation seemed surreal. Peeta, Johanna and I were acquainted with the horrors of hunting and killing due to our trials in the arenas. I never would have wanted anyone especially Delly to experience that reality.

"Katniss," she spoke, her voice laced with fear.

"We'll be okay, Delly. Just stay still." A minute later it was quiet. I looked down at my sleeping boyfriend. Hell and chaos lurked around us and he was fast asleep. My Boy with Bread had been suffering from the pain in his leg and I never knew it. He kept his discomfort from me. It's so like Peeta to do so.

"Johanna, can you and Alec cover us while Delly and me try to pull Peeta to safety," I asked.

"Just say the word."

"Delly, get up slowly and help me pull Peeta towards them," I instructed her. She nodded her head. "Okay, on the count to three. Get up and take his left arm and drag him over there." I pointed at Johanna. "Go."

Johanna and Alec opened fire. Delly and I quickly pulled Peeta's inert body to safety. He wasn't a tall, bulky person even with the weight he gained, but he was dead weight. We struggled momentarily as we reached Johanna's position. Amazingly, Gale didn't fire back. It was quiet for several minutes.

"Maybe he's finally run out of ammo," Alec guessed. "How is he?" He gestured toward Peeta.

"He's fine," I answered. "We should probably move out of here before Gale finds us. He still has his compound bow."

"What about Peeta?" Delly asked. "He'll be out for a couple of hours."

"I'll take him." Alec volunteered. "He's not that heavy…about 145. I can carry him over my shoulder."

"And what about Rory?" Delly inquired.

"We can leave him here for all I care," Johanna voiced her opinion. "We can't trust him."

"No," I sounded. "We are not leaving anyone behind." Johanna scoffed.

"Alec has Peeta…who's going to watch him because it's not going to be me."

"I will," I said. He was still Gale's little brother even if he was protecting him. I'd hate Hazelle to lose both her sons. "Where is our pick up point, Johanna?"

"It's about a 10 mile hike from here. Haymitch said that if we're not there at the appointed time, the craft would only wait for 10 minutes before they're ordered to leave."

"Why only ten minutes?" Delly asked.

"They're sitting ducks if they stay in on spot too long. If we don't meet at that point, they'll head to the next designated location."

"When did you and Haymitch set this up?" Alec asked.

"We've planned out the day and time before I left. I was to only call him in an emergency, like for medical help."

"Oh, how? I've never seen you with a radio?" Alec sounded. I was curious since I've never seen her with a radio to contact Haymitch.

"That's my secret and you don't need to know," she blurted back. "In the meantime, we should get going if we're to make it on time." She held her medallion between her fingertips and then winked at me. Oh, her necklace. I still didn't get it but was relieved that we were to be picked up soon. I wanted to get Peeta away from here and Gale.

"Why not pick us up now?" Delly asked. "We found Peeta and Katniss."

"It's daylight, Gale will see the hovercraft coming. We're being picked up under cover of night." It made some sense since Gale was shooting everything that flew across the forest.

The trek to our rendezvous spot was slow as we paced ourselves. Alec carried Peeta over his shoulder taking a rest every couple of miles. Two hour later, Peeta woke up startled and confused. He struggled on Alec's shoulder causing him to panic.

"Shit," he bellowed as he dropped on the ground and landed on his left side. I immediately ran to him tracing my hand all over him making sure he wasn't injured elsewhere. "Peeta, are you okay?"

"Katniss?"

"Hey, hello there." I kissed his warm forehead. The sun blazed down on us making the air hot and humid. We were sweating profusely as our clothes clung to our skin. "How are you feeling?"

"My leg doesn't hurt as much, but I got startled when I woke up and the everything was upside down." He smiled at me. His hair was tousled and in disarray. I ran my fingers through his sweaty, blond locks.

"Sorry, Peeta. It was the only way I could carry you," Alec apologized as he continued to rub his shoulder.

"No, don't apologize. I was confused for a moment." Delly looked him over, checking on his leg and for any injury when he fell on the ground. "What happened?" After briefing him of what happened when he passed out, he turned to Alec. "Thank you for carrying me."

"It's nothing Peeta. You would have done the same for me." Rest assured, Peeta would have returned the favor. He wouldn't have left anyone behind.

"Have you guys seen Gale since then?"

"No, unfortunately," Johanna answered. Peeta looked around for Rory. He still handcuffed and looking morose. I helped Peeta up from the ground. He wobbled on his legs as his feet planted on the floor.

"Hey, take it easy," I advised him as I wrapped an arm around his waist. I was pleased when he finally awakened from the pill Delly gave him. It unnerved me watching him being carried by Alec. He looked dead. A few times I grabbed his hand to assure myself that he was alive.

We continued our trek at an easy pace considering that Delly had never walked so much before and she was with child. However, she didn't complain or whined as our trek continued to a slight incline to reach our destination. During the hike up the hill I looked around me making sure that Gale was nowhere in sight. I knew I made a promise to Peeta that I wouldn't hurt Gale, but when push comes to shove, I would do anything to ensure our safety…especially Peeta.

There is no choice for me over whom I would pick. There never had been.

Rory stepped beside me while I trailed after Alec. "I'm sorry Katniss." I kept quiet as I was at a loss for words. His brother was someone I didn't recognize and came to loath with all my being.

"You should be apologizing to Peeta and everyone else not just to me," I told him. "You knew that coming with us was a conflict of interest."

"I had to, Katniss. I knew Johanna would never let my brother come out alive," he speculated. "I can't let her hurt him."

"After everything Peeta had gone through because of Gale. After what he did to him, you think we…or I would let your brother get away from what he did?"

"Gale is sick––"

You're brother _is_ sick and what do we do to sick animals…we put them down," I said. "But you're in luck, you see that guy right there?" I pointed to Peeta. "He made me promise to bring Gale back in one piece so he can be rehabilitated. He thinks…no he believes that your brother can be saved. Me, if I had my choice I would put an arrow through his skull."

Rory cried along side me. "I intend to keep that promise, Rory, but let me tell you, if Gale hurts one single hair on Peeta's head, there is nothing and no one in Panem that will stop me." I clutched the end of the arrow in a tight grip. Thank god Haymitch had the foresight to send me a weapon to use to protect Peeta. As for my boyfriend, Peeta forgo the long knife he carried and whittled a long branch into a staff. He sharpened one end to be used as a weapon while using it as a cane to help him release the weight on his prosthesis.

Talking to Rory only fueled my desire to hunt Gale down as I looked at Peeta. My heart swelled with love and pride. Even after his hijacking, he was still the Peeta I remembered, the parts of him I thought I lost forever. He's broken and was hijacked but still retained the remnants of the baker boy who saved my life when we were eleven.

Hours later we decided to take a short break. We were undisturbed which didn't ease my paranoia. I rather had a confrontation with Gale the sooner the better. Then I realized my first and only priority was to get everyone out of the forest. It was like being back in the games again but this time we all get to go home. I thought back to Peeta and the promise he made me swear to. If I were in his shoes, I would have wanted justice for what Gale and Eva had done to me. But, I'm not Peeta. This was why I chose him, his goodness and generous heart. I smiled and stared at Delly and him. He was laughing at her as he picked leaves and debris from her hair.

"Who are you?" he teased her.

"Stop it," she laughed back. The two of them together, with their blond hair, blue eyes and fair skin, you would have thought they were brother and sister. However, I was not oblivious to Delly's affection for him. How can anyone not love him? I'm not an idiot.

"I don't know who you are? You look like Delly," he started. "What's with the dark cammies and combat boots? Dye your hair black and you could be Johanna's twin."

"Ugh, you didn't expect me come out here with what?" she scoffed. "A dress with pink ribbons?"

"I…didn't expect you to be here at all." He looked at Delly with a stern stare.

"Peeta…"

"I know, I know. There's no point arguing with you," he said with an exaggerated sigh. "I don't want you to get hurt, Delly. You and the baby. You're just as stubborn as Katniss…and Johanna…and Effie." He snickered. Delly was wrapping his leg with the herbs I gathered. I relented in letting her administer medical aid on him. It was something Delly needed to do; she needed to feel useful even if it meant for her to be sitting next to him half naked wearing his black boxer briefs. I sighed.

"Stop distracting me," she whined as she fitted his fake leg and helped him redress himself. He continued to pull grass, dirt and leaves from her hair.

"How's he doing, Katniss?" Johanna asked me as I stared at my boyfriend.

"He's been hurting, Johanna," I returned. "His leg…he's been in pain and I didn't even notice."

"It's more likely he hid it from you," Johanna added. "I'm not surprised, Katniss. You shouldn't be either."

"I can't stand it," I admitted. "I know he didn't want me to worry, but…"

"You do the same, you know," she reminded me. "Listen, you both keep your pain to yourself because you don't want to burden each other. But that's the part of being in a relationship. You both take care of each other in the good and bad times."

"He's suffered so much…"

"And so did you. That's why he doesn't or won't tell you when he is in pain or when he's suffering," I nodded my head in agreement. We were both guilty of it. "He did that during our time in the Capitol."

"I can't lose him, Johanna. Now that…"

"Hey, he's going home…with you. All of us are going home," she swore to me with determination and steel in her eyes.

"Gale will never leave him alone." I was certain that Gale would never stop wanting to hurt Peeta. Sick or not, he had to be stopped one way or another.

"I'll take care of Gale." She stared at Peeta. "No one is ever going to hurt him again." I grabbed her hand as she grasped in shock and surprise.

"Thank you Johanna," I started. "I never thanked you for taking care and loving him when I…couldn't. He had you and Delly when Haymitch and I abandoned him." I looked back at Peeta who was braiding Delly's hair. I smiled. "He would have given up if it wasn't for the both of you."

"I would have done the same if he wasn't there for me…I...love him too, Katniss," she said. "Gale will never hurt him again."

"Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt but we should get going if we're to make on time for our pickup," Alec reminded us.

11:00 o'clock. That was the time the hovercraft was coming to pick us up. "What time is it?" I asked around. I never wore a watch. Time was something I didn't acknowledge since I lost Prim. It didn't matter what time it was since I didn't have to wake Prim up for school or make breakfast for her. Time wasn't important when I walked into a room to find her not there or in her room reading; she wasn't in the kitchen preparing dinner or in the backyard playing with Buttercup or Lady. I lost the sense of time and I didn't care. But when Peeta was returned to me time was all I had left.

It took time for Peeta and me to find our way back to each other. It was worth it.

Alec looked at his wrist. "It's 5:32," he answered back. It was five and half-hours before reaching our rendezvous point. We ate dinner and took a bio break. Johanna led us while Alec watched our back. I held my bow and arrow in my hand, looking over the area at each passing mile. I insisted that Peeta walked beside me while Delly walked behind Johanna and Rory trailed ahead of Alec. I felt at ease with the bow, like I've finally come home.

By 7pm it was dark and cold with the moon hanging in the sky. The air turned chilly. The cool air made us alert of our surrounding. It had been quiet for some time that it was unsettling. We hadn't heard from Gale in hours.

"Maybe it's a good thing we haven't heard from him," Delly said. Rory sighed.

"I don't like it," Johanna sounded. "He's up to something."

"I don't know about you but I need to take a pee break," Alec added.

"Me, too," Rory agreed. He escorted Rory towards the trees.

"Me, too," Peeta said. I was about to join him when he stepped forward. "Katniss, I'm just going to take a leak over there, with the guys. You don't need follow and watch me." He pointed to the direction where the guys headed. "I'll be fine." I blinked my eyes and winced. I hated being away from him. Every time he was out of my sight, he was taken from me. "Katniss, I'll be okay."

"But––"

He kissed me, hard while he wrapped both arms around my waist. After a minute or two, I didn't know how long we were kissing until Delly coughed to get our attention. Peeta leaned his forehead against mine while I tried to catch my breath. "Katniss?"

"Yes," I responded, my voice low and breath raspy. He had the power to undo me as I lost myself in kisses. I became that kind of girl; the type of girl I scorned at school, but I didn't regret it if that boy was Peeta. He opened a world of sensations that I was prepared to deny myself. The sensations of love, desire and lust were heady and addictive with Peeta.

"I really need to pee," he responded. He gave me a quick kiss on the lips before I could respond back. My eyes followed his form as he disappeared behind a tree.

Johanna snickered. "You really have it bad," She whispered in my ear startling me. I scowled back at her in jest. Yes, I do have it bad for Peeta and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

A minute passed, then another with Peeta, Alec and Rory not returning from their pee break.

"What's taking them so long?" I asked in exasperation and fear. My stomach dropped when another minute passed. With my patience running low, I took off to the tree where Peeta disappeared to with Johanna and Delly right behind me. There was no one there. I looked around. Bile rose from my throat as my stomach lurched. "Peeta," I called out. "Where are you?" I heard someone groan. Behind a tree, Alec was on the ground with a hand on his head. "What happened, where's Peeta?" He sat up.

"I was waiting for Peeta when something hit me on the head," he winced as Delly examined him.

"He's got a large lump on the back of his head," she said.

"Where's Rory?" Johanna asked.

"Shit, where's Peeta?" I said with panic and fear. "Damnit, this is why I never want him out of my sight." I gritted my teeth.

"Where's your rifle?" Johanna asked as she looked around us.

"I had it with me," Alec answered. Impatient, I stood up and looked all over. Images of Peeta taken by Gale filled my mind. "I'm sorry, I think Rory…"

"This can't be happening," I cried out. "Peeta. Peeta." I yelled at the top of my lungs.

"You don't think that Rory took him?" Delly inquired. "He wouldn't, would he?"

"You mean betray us and take Peeta to his brother?" Johanna seethed in anger. "I wouldn't put it past him."

"Peeta, Peeta?" I hollered.

"I'm sorry, Katniss," Alec apologized. "I didn't think that Rory would––"

"Peeta." Fear turned to horror and anger. I couldn't trust anyone to watch Peeta. I should have known better to trust Alec and Rory.

"Katniss, be quiet. Gale might hear us," Johanna stated. Delly looked frightened and scared.

"I don't give a fuck," I shouted. "Peeta. Where are you?" I held the tears that were threatening to fall from my eyes. "Gale, you sick fuck. Let him go." I looked everywhere, every tree and bush within our vicinity. Johanna and Delly trailed behind me. "Peeta!"

A few feet away I discovered a needle on the ground. I picked it up and examined it. "What is that?" Johanna asked. Delly gasped in shock.

Then from out of nowhere I caught a flash of blond hair from a distance. It was Peeta limping away from us. "Peeta. Peeta. Oh my God, where are you going? Stop." He kept walking, shuffling on his feet.

"Where is he going?" Johanna shouted.

"Johanna, there he is," Delly shouted. "Katniss wait." I ignored her plea. Once I reached Peeta I grabbed his arm. He shook my hand off and turned. I gasped in shock. His eyes were red and he was trembling. He stepped back. His arms clutched around his waist.

"Peeta, what's wrong? Why were you running away?" I cried as I took a step towards him.

"Katniss, step back. Please," he cried as tears dripped from his eyes. "Please don't touch me, get away."

"Why, what's wrong. You're scaring me," I answered back. Delly grabbed my elbow. I wasn't scared of him but I was scared for him.

"I have to get away from you…from everyone," he said. His lower lip trembled.

"Why?" I shouted. "Tell me what's wrong?"

"Gale, I saw Gale. He…he injected me with something," he explained. "I didn't feel anything at first but…now. I know…what he injected me with."

"What Peeta?" Johanna asked. With the look in his eyes, I knew before she asked. I knew because it was the same fearful look he gave me when he was rescued. The same agonizing look when he wanted me to kill him. Alec appeared beside us.

"Oh thank God, Peeta," he exclaimed. "What's going on?"

"It was tracker jacker venom," Delly stated. "I recognized the needle's content." I gasped in despair. I took a step towards him. I remembered that the needle had a yellowish residue inside the barrel.

"No, stop. Step back," he ordered me. He had one extended in front of him while the other clutched his stomach. "I can feel it, Katniss. I can feel it running in my veins. Please, Johanna…Delly. Get her away from me before I…" he sobbed in pain and agony. "I don't want to hurt her again. Please!"

"Peeta, I'm not going anywhere," I said to him. "You can fight this. You've been fighting your episode for months and you've never hurt me or anyone."

"I'm having an episode." He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I've been triggered. I have tracker venom in me. I can't…I can't hold on. It's hurt so much. Everything is too bright and you're…turning into a mutt."

I placed a hand over my mouth to stifle a scream that was lodge in my throat. "Alec, Johanna, please…Katniss…I'm scared that I'll hurt you again." He dropped to his knees placing both hands on his head. He screamed loud, his voice echoing in the air. "Make it stop. Make it stop." Each word blurted as he choked and gasped for breath.

"Delly, do something," I pleaded with her. She looked back, helpless and scared for Peeta.

"I don't know what to do," she answered back. "The dosage Gale gave him…I don't know how strong the venom is. Peeta's blood work from his last exam was minimal and if he's been injected with the venom, he's been compromised."

"What can we do?" Johanna asked.

"The only thing we can do is let the venom run its' course," she explained.

"What?" I bellowed.

Peeta continued to scream. "Kill me, kill me." It was agonizing as I watched and listened to him scream.

"Stop Peeta," I shouted at him. Johanna grabbed me, preventing me from going to him as he curled in to a fetal position. He wrapped his arms around his knees. My heart ached for him.

"Alec?" Peeta called out to him a minute later. He sat up. His eyes looked wild. I could tell he was losing focus.

"Peeta?" Alec answered him.

"Alec, hit me," he gritted his teeth as he stood up with hands on his temples.

"What?" he returned flabbergasted.

"Hit me."

"Peeta," Delly called to him. "Close your eyes and take a deep breath."

"Hit me," he repeated. "Knock me out. I'm losing it. Please?" He turned to me with anguished eyes. "Katniss," he whispered my name one last time. "I love you."

"I love you too," I replied back. Peeta turned to Alec just as Johanna hit his head with the end of her rifle. I ran up to him right before he hit the ground grabbing him around the waist. We fell onto the ground with our limbs tangled together.

He was sprawled on the ground between my legs. My face was wet with tears as I placed his head on my chest rocking his body back and forth. With Peeta safely in my arms I knew that the promise I made to him was null and void. Gale may not have taken him physically from me but tried to poison him again with the tracker venom. He had hoped that Peeta would succumb to the venom and kill me. Thus, killing Peeta knowing that if he had ever hurt me, it was a certainty that he would never forgive himself and end his life.

I lifted his shirt to reveal his lean stomach. There on the left side near his hip was a small needle puncture in the middle of a bruise.

"You're okay, baby. You're okay." I chanted to him. My lips found his cheek, peppering his nose, eyes and lips with my kisses. I lost track and time as Delly, Johanna and Alec stood guard over us. "I have you back. You're okay."

"Where's Rory?" Johanna asked. I barely acknowledged their presence as I held on to Peeta.

"Shit, I don't know," Alec returned. "Stay here while I look for him." He pulled out a handgun from his holster since Gale confiscated his rifle. Delly sat next to me and lifted Peeta's hand to check his pulse. He was sweaty and warm all over.

"His pulse is pretty fast, but that's to be expected," she observed as she examined his head. "He's has a matching lump on his head like Alec."

"I'm sorry, Katniss," Johanna joined us. "I didn't know what else to do." I gave her a weak smile.

"He's okay, Johanna," I spoke, closing my eyes. "All that matters is that he didn't take Peeta."

"I'm surprise that he didn't," Delly said.

"He knew, Delly," I explained. "He knew that by injecting Peeta with the venom, he was hoping that Peeta would…" I was lost for words. I thought of Gale, what he planned for Peeta. Anger filled me. "He thought that by injecting Peeta…that he would come after me. Triggering an episode knowing how Peeta would react; that Peeta would hurt me." I kissed his forehead. "But Gale doesn't know Peeta. He would hurt himself before he would hurt anyone."

"No tracker venom could ever destroy his love for you, Katniss," Delly blurted. "After all these months, Peeta is a lot stronger now. He can fight it."

"I'm not concern about that," I told her. "He's safe, Delly." A few minutes later, Alec returned with Rory still handcuffed but sported a bruise on his right eye and a busted lip.

"I found him roaming around," he said as he pushed Rory forward. He stumbled on his feet looking scared.

"I tried to stop him," he whined. "Please believe me." He raised his cuffed hands in front of him as Johanna stalked towards Rory. It was odd watching them with Rory much taller than Johanna, yet it was Rory who cowered before her.

"Why should I," Johanna returned with fire in her eyes. "You've been nothing but useless to us." Her finger poised on the trigger of her rifle. The muzzle was faced downward. I can detect Johanna's anger simmering, her temper and impatience reached past the limit of her tolerance.

"Johanna, he's just a kid," Delly reminded her. A young teen smacked right in the middle of Gale's nightmare. Rory only wanted to save him; the brother he saw underneath the drugs and alcohol. He still saw or wished the best in him that could be saved.

Whatever anguish or anger I felt subsided as Peeta whimpered and tossed in my arms.

"Peeta," I whispered in his ear. "You're okay. Please be okay." Johanna stood next to me. She felt conflicted. She was the midst of fury and rage, but at the sight of Peeta suffering, she softened if only for a moment. She knelt beside us and took Peeta's limp hand into her strong ones.

"What did Gale inject him with?" Rory asked, his voice low and soft.

"Tracker venom," Delly answered.

"No, he wouldn't do that. Gale wouldn't…" He gasped in shock and shook his head. Rory was in complete denial of his brother's deadly and destructive behavior towards Peeta.

"The brother you remembered is gone, Rory. Face the facts that he's not going to stop torturing Peeta until he's dead," Johanna stated as a matter of fact.

"I don't understand," Alec started. "When the Capitol surrendered, Paylor confiscated all the tracker venom that was manufactured. She ordered all research, production and storage of the venom destroyed and banned. Gale led the collection and destruction of the chemical."

"Well, it's obvious that Gale kept some for his hidden agenda," Delly stated. She shivered. I was too repulsed and disgusted for what Gale had done realizing he had plans for Peeta. I wondered what happened to the boy I hunted with; the same boy who helped me before the rebellion? It all boiled down to Gale harboring emotions of anger, bitterness and resentment. Emotions I also felt growing up in the Seam. After everything he had accomplished, it wasn't enough for him. In his disturbed state of mind, I was his reward.

"What are we going to do now?" Delly asked the question each of us was afraid to answer.

"If he's a danger to Katniss, shouldn't we cuff him?" Alec started. I shut my eyes and tried not to relive the moments of Peeta bound during the rebellion. There were moments when I felt nothing but anger, fear and hatred towards him. I hated him for coming back changed just when I realized I loved him. So I punished Peeta by turning to Gale, using him. I needed to forget Peeta because the pain of losing him was more than I could bear. "It's more for his safety not ours, Katniss." I shook my head. "How do you think he'll feel if he ever hurts you?"

"Peeta would never hurt Katniss?" Johanna wheezed with anger.

"He won't Alec." I was confident of Peeta's mental state and his love for me. "I trust him." I leaned my head on his forehead. He was warm to touch even though the air turned chilly.

"You're gambling with your life," Alec stated.

"And it's my decision to make." I retorted. He didn't know Peeta, not like how Delly, Johanna and I knew him. We knew his heart.

"I agree with Katniss," Delly directed to me. "I think he's strong enough to fight his hijacking impulses or his episodes. We just need to be sure that you're prepared in case we need to…subdue him."

"Please don't cuff him while he's out," I begged. "He might panic and hurt himself."

Ten minutes later, Peeta was still out lying in arms. I hummed into his ear as I resolved to only sing for him and not in front of everyone. My voice was reserved for him and him alone.

"We need to leave Katniss if we intend to reach our rendezvous site on schedule," Johanna said as she released Peeta's hand. I nodded my head as Delly approached my sleeping boyfriend with a smelling salt in her hand. Alec stood a few feet away with Rory. Peeta didn't react at first then whimpered awake. He blinked his eyes trying to focus, crystal blue met gray. I could detect a moment of confusion in his worried eyes. He sat up startled and in panic just as I expected. He took in the sight before him, his head and eyes scouting the area. He scrunched his eyes shut when his eyes landed on Rory. He lunged away from me as his hands went to cover his head. "Peeta?" I said so soft and low as not to scare him.

"Not real, not real." I heard him mumble to himself. "Not real, not real."

"Peeta?" I was about to reach out to comfort him when he stood up and launched his body over Rory causing them to tumble onto the ground. He straddled Rory's, his knees planted on the ground trapping him. "Peeta," I screamed, confused and worried by his reaction. I grabbed him by the waist attempting to pull him off of Rory. He backhanded Alec as he attempted to dislodge Peeta from Rory causing Alec to land onto his back. Peeta reached down to wrap his hands around Rory's neck.

Because Rory was cuffed, he was able to shield himself by placing his hands and arms in front of his face and neck. "Stop Peeta," he shouted at him.

"Shit," Johanna leaped right behind me. Peeta may not have the height or weight as Rory or Gale but he was strong. Years of lifting bags of flour and hours kneading bread gave him strength in his arms and hands. His years in the wrestling team in school made him graceful and agile. I pulled at his waist from behind him tugging with all the strength I could muster. Johanna pulled at his left arm.

"Peeta, let go," I shouted at him. He felt solid like an immovable stone sculpture.

"Peeta," Delly screamed but stepped back. Alec righted himself and was about to strike Peeta. "Alec stop," Delly shouted. "You'll give him a concussion if you strike his head again." With all the strength combined, Johanna and I pulled him off Rory causing him to land onto the ground with Johanna in front and me latched onto his back.

"Peeta, Peeta!" I screamed for his attention. He struggled to get onto his feet but I intertwined my fingers clasping my hands together. He grunted and groaned lifting himself off the ground with me holding onto his waist from behind. I marveled at his strength and stamina. It was this endurance and stamina that made him an excellent lover, pleasuring me for hours. His mind focused on me that it was difficult to break his concentration when I wanted to return the favor. This was no exception as he tried to reach for Rory paying no mind to me.

"Peeta!" Johanna screamed into his face, spit spewed from her mouth. "Peeta." It hadn't occurred to me that she was silently crying to herself. "Peeta. It's not real. Whatever you're seeing it's not real." She bracketed his face with her hands, directing anguished brown eyes to tormented blue. "Look at me. It's me Johanna." He stopped and blinked his eyes for few seconds, refocusing them.

"He hurt me, Johanna," he bawled with anger and anguish.

"Who hurt you?"

"Gale," he answered. "He and Eva hurt me…and I can't stop feeling so angry, but…I can't…I can't. My head hurts so bad." I released him as his body went slack. "I thought I could control and stop feeling so angry at him but when he injected me, everything came back. Everything I wanted to forget came rushing back. Every insult, everything I wanted to forget and I feel…I feel…I don't want to feel this angry, but I can't help it." He shrugged Johanna's hands off his face.

"Peeta," I walked in front of him. He closed his eyes and put his head down. "Peeta, look at me."

"I can't," he returned. "I'm having flashes of you…images I thought I had gone away."

I gasped. "Peeta," I reached out and hugged him. He struggled against me but I kept my grip around his waist feeling his heart pounded against mine. It was beating hard and fast against my chest. "Peeta, just listen to my voice then."

"Let me go, Katniss," he whined. "Let me go." I swore he better be referring to this moment and not what I feared he was trying to say. "This is too much. Just let me go."

"Never, I will never let you go, Peeta." I couldn't now that he was mine.

"My hands…my hands," he stuttered and hiccupped struggling with his words. They were trembling on my back.

"Have never been but gentle towards me and everyone you have met," I filled in. "Peeta, you have never hurt anyone but yourself. You never touched Tamryn when you had an episode." I released him and grabbed both hands, locking his fingers with mine.

"You never been anything but loving and kind with these hands." He breath was harsh. I leaned over so no one but he could hear the next words I expressed. "These hands had been soft and gentle when you made love to me. They also were possessive and demanding in the most pleasurable way, but never in anger. Yours hands have given me great pleasure whether you're taking me against a wall or pleasing me in our bed."

He gasped and opened his eyes. I smiled at his surprised expression. "You're strong Peeta. You can't fight and overcome this."

"I love you so much," his words were soft, his voice raspy. "I'll never forgive myself if I hurt you."

"You won't, you haven't ever in all the times we've been together," I reminded him. "That's why Kara took it off. She believed in you."

"She's right Peeta," Delly commented. "Kara would never had removed it if she thought you would hurt her…or anyone."

"I want to…I want him gone, out of my life," he admitted as he turned to Rory. He blinked his eyes as if he was trying to focus them. "He looks so much like Gale. When I woke up I thought it was him."

"That's Rory, Peeta. I promise you Gale will never bother you again, Peeta," Johanna interjected. I sighed in relief as Peeta's shoulders dropped in resignation. I lay my head on his shoulder. His lean muscled frame shook.

"I'm scared. It's like I can feel the venom coursing in my veins," he admitted. "I feel pins and needles in my stomach traveling to my arms. My eyes and head hurt. I can't focus."

He was losing all sense of reality so I did the one thing to bring him back to me, to the present. I grabbed his head and kissed him, soft at first then hard as I angled my head, my tongue on his closed mouth seeking entrance. He reacted quickly and sucked my tongue into his with greedy abandon. It was a heady feeling each time I kissed him. This was not any different. He was still the same boy I loved with the venom in his veins. I lost myself with his body pressed to mine, feeling his hard length on my lower belly.

We stopped only to catch our breath, our breath intermingling. He withdrew air I inhaled in a rhythmic pattern as if we were breathing life to one another. I was speechless and in awe of his strength to fight the venom in his system.

"Wow," Alec commented. "Are they always like that?"

"That's nothing we haven't seen," Johanna said in a flippant matter. "You should hear the noises coming out of their bedroom."

"Johanna!" Delly shrieked. "Don't embarrass them. I think they're sweet." Johanna snorted in return. I turned my heard towards my friends. Unabashed and with pride, I held onto Peeta with a smile on my face.

"Delly, isn't there anything we can do for Peeta?" I asked. My remedy or solution required privacy and a soft bed, but that was not an option now.

"Well," she started. "He was injected about 20 minutes ago in the stomach…so I think…" She stopped for a moment as she noticed how I flinched at the information she was giving us. "Tracker venom is usually injected through the stomach."

"Why the stomach?" Rory inquired.

"The stomach is like a filter," she explained. "The venom seeps faster into the blood stream from the stomach. Since he was injected recently it shouldn't take long before it reaches to his brain stem." That can't happen.

"What are you thinking?" Johanna inquired.

"Ideally a blood transfusion is best but…"

"What?" I was losing patience.

"Tracker venom moves quickly in an empty stomach," she stated. "Since he ate a while ago we could…"

"What?"

" I don't have any ipecac in my medical bag." She reached inside her bag. "Let me look for some alternative.

"What is ipecac?" Rory asked.

"It's a plant used to induce vomiting," Delly explained. "It's our only option. If the venom continues to move into his blood stream and Peeta fights it, he'll…he might risk a cardiac arrest since Kara removed his wrist band." I remembered the state he was in after we found him after his abduction. His heart was weakened from the episodes he suffered at the hands of Eva and Gale. It has been months since then and Peeta has been a lot stronger and gained some of his weight back. I still wouldn't or couldn't risk him to suffer another attack. "It's either induce vomiting or knock him out until the venom works through his system."

"How long would that take?" Alec asked.

"Several hours." We couldn't afford to keep Peeta sedated if we were to reach our rendezvous point. And I certainly didn't want him to be vulnerable incase Gale attacked us again. But it was Peeta's life and health we were discussing.

"It's up to Peeta," I said. "He should decide what he wants to do."

"What if he's goes crazy again?" Rory implied.

"Who asked you your opinion Hawthorne?" Johanna stated with vehemence in her voice as she accentuated his name. Rory slinked back behind Alec.

"I can't think right now…I don't know what to do," Peeta muttered. The venom was working into his mind; it was obvious by the way he was struggling to stay focused and his hands shaking.

"Peeta, what do want to do?" Delly asked him.

"My head hurts," he repeated over and over.

"Peeta, you need to tell me what you want to do?" she asked again. Peeta looked at me.

"Help me,' he pleaded. "Make it stop."

"Delly, will it work? What you're suggesting?"

"The longer it stays in his system, the harder it'll be for Peeta to control himself," she explained. Could I watch Peeta turn into Capitol Peeta?

"Do it."

"I don't have anything to induce vomiting," she said in sad tone.

"Johanna, can you stay with him, please," I asked her. I trusted her to keep him safe from harm.

"Where are you going?" she responded.

"I'm going to look around and look a plant. I may have spot an herb he can eat," I said. "Alec will come with me just in case." I volunteered Baylor even before asking him. Rory was not an option. He had his own agenda. I turned to Peeta and placed both hands on his face.

"Peeta," I said. "I want you to stay with Johanna." He nodded his head, his eyes were red and rimmed with tears. "Don't go anywhere, do you hear me? I can't lose you. Please tell me that you understand what I'm saying."

"Okay," he whispered. "You're leaving me?" The tone in his voice broke me, shattering the resolve I had to look for the plant he needed leaving him with Johanna. I swore to never have him out of my sight but this was necessary. He distracted me whenever he's close by.

"She won't go far, won't you, Katniss?" Delly spoke.

"I want to go with you," Peeta pleaded. I shook my head. If he came with me, I'd be too focused on him instead of looking for the plant, but I trusted only Johanna to watch him. It was getting dark and visibility was becoming an issue.

"Peeta will be safe with me, Katniss," Johanna promised. "I'll guard him with my life."

"Me too," Delly stated. "He won't go anywhere.

"Before you go, wear this," Johanna handed me her necklace. Delly pulled her own out from underneath her blouse. "Delly is wearing hers. I'll feel better if you wore it."

"Give it to Peeta," I suggested. She hesitated for a moment. "I want him to wear it. It's important to me." Johanna looped the necklace around Peeta's necklace, securing it by tucking it inside his shirt.

"You can wear mine, Katniss." Delly said as she was about to remove her necklace.

"No, I know my way around the woods," I returned. "I don't need it." I looked at Peeta.

"I won't stay away for long or far away, I promise," I swore to him. He looked sad. I leaned over and kissed soft and chaste. "Let's go Alec." Then, I abruptly let him go for it was more than I could handle leaving him. I dared not look back at him knowing that if I saw his face watching me leave; I would never leave.

Ten minutes later, I'm on my knees digging into the soft soil underneath a tree trunk. I used Peeta's knife, cutting away plethora of plants that grew around the tree while Alec hovered over me with a flashlight. Once I cleared the area, I sighed in relief.

The mushroom-like plant was rubbery to touch. You only had to bite into the top of the mushroom to induce vomiting. Peeta hated mushrooms. He had discovered that he had an allergy when we were in the Capitol during one of the dinner events. He had stomach cramps for hours and had vomited all food he consumed. I stood up and was about to tell Alec I was done when I heard a growl from behind us.

A mutt dog appeared out of nowhere. "Alec," I whispered. He raised his rifle, his sight aimed at the dog. My bow and arrow lay on my feet. I bent down slowly to pick it up when the dog lurched at us. Alec quickly fired. It went down right below our feet. I kicked it once to ensure it was dead. It wasn't as large as the dog we fought hours before but it was still dangerous.

"Come on, let's go," I instructed him. "Their pack will be looking for him." My mind turned to Peeta and everyone else. I hope that they were safe because if one mutt dog was lurking around, it was a guarantee their pack was not far behind.

Alec and I reached the spot where we left them. There was no one in sight. I was out of breath from running as I tried not to panic. "Oh my god, where is everybody?" Alec called out.

"Peeta, Johanna," I shouted. "Where the fuck are you? Delly, Rory!" My mind screamed not to panic. I'm so focused on trying not to panic when a mutt dog appeared pouncing on Alec grabbing by his left right with his strong jaw. Alec's cry of pain echoed it air. It was a chilling sound of anguish that resonated throughout the forest. I aimed and shot it on the back releasing Alec and causing the to howl and retreat into the woods. I ran to him not realizing that another dog appeared from behind me. I turned just in time for it to jump on top of me when I heard a shot fired from out of nowhere.

The dog landed on my feet. Its head near my foot snapping its' jaw before it expired.

Johanna appeared as she landed on the ground from above the tree. I looked to see Rory, Delly and at last, Peeta high above me, sitting high up on a tree branch. I cried in relief. Johanna ran past me reaching Alec who was clutching his right lower leg. Blood seeped through the material as flesh and bone appeared underneath his torn pants from the bite. I choked back air trying not to vomit. "Delly get down here, Alec needs help," she shouted, her voice was tinged with fear and concern. I turned my head from the sight and arid stench of blood.

My priority was Peeta who looked down from the tree; he had a scared and a lost look in his eyes. "Peeta, it's me Katniss." I called out to him. "Honey, it's safe to come down." He shook his head. I sighed as I realized that I would have to go up and help him climb down. Darkness surrounded us as Peeta stared at the sun setting into the horizon.

"Johanna, hold here and press hard," I heard Delly instruct Johanna. "Rory, get your ass off the tree and help me."

Five minutes later, I reached Peeta, he had his eyes closed and his back leaning against the tree while he straddled a large branch between his legs.

"Peeta?"

He was breathing through his nose and air escaping from his mouth. His arms were wrapped around his stomach. I reached the limb where Peeta was situated; he wasn't answering nor acknowledging my presence. Facing him, I grabbed him by the waist with both arms while I placed my legs on top of his. Johanna watched over him as she promised me and I'm thankful that he was safe and unharmed. "Peeta, how are you feeling?"

"It's so hard, Katniss," Peeta admitted. "I don't know if I can hold it together anymore."

"You can, Peeta. You have," I encouraged him. "You didn't survive this long…after everything you've been through. You can't give up now. You can't…leave me now, I wont' let you." I held my emotions together. It was difficult not to break under the strain of falling apart.

"Look at me, Peeta," He opened his eyes with great trepidation. I pointed at the sunset. "See that? I want to live many days like this with us watching the sun set together. Each day I thank the heavens for living another day with you. I'm greedy and selfish. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't want to live a day without you. You taught me to see the world around me. That there is beauty everywhere."

"You're the most beautiful thing in the world, no sunset can match how beautiful you are to me," he said. He was gifted with words of love even with tracker jacker venom in his veins. I blushed at his compliment. "I want more days with you too, Katniss."

"Then, fight for me, for us. Don't let Gale win." He nodded his head in resignation and relief. We held onto each other for a few seconds relishing a moment of privacy. Then I remembered the plant I had scoured the forest for him to eat.

"Here take a bite of this," I instructed him. Without a single word or any hesitancy, he took a bite of the mushroom. I wanted to kiss him as he scrunched his face when he swallowed the fungus. He looked like a little boy forced to eat his least favorite vegetable. Peeta washed it down with water from his canteen.

"Yuck. That was disgusting," he whined. I smiled to myself. I raked my fingers through his hair and stopped at the nape of his neck. Forehead to forehead, I whispered words of love and comfort to him.

"Katniss, Peeta," Johanna yelled below us. For a few moments I had forgotten everyone. This always happened whenever I'm with Peeta. He made the world disappear around us.

"How's Alec, Johanna?" I asked.

"Not good, we need to leave now," Johanna said with urgency.

As we touched the ground the mushroom worked instantly, Peeta walked over to a bush and threw up the contents in his stomach. I rubbed his back as bent over and vomited again. The scent of bile rose into my nose but I stood by him not wanting to leave him alone. By the time he was done, he looked pale, his eyes watery and his body shook from shock. Sweat shimmered on his forehead. He took another sip of water to rinse off the residue of bile in his mouth. "How are you feeling?"

"Well…my stomach hurts, my ears are ringing and…"

"And?"

"I feel achy all over," he finished as he took a deep breath. I wished to tuck into bed and let him sleep. In a few hours, it would become a reality.

We decided to remove Rory's cuff since he had to carry Alec to the rendezvous point. "I'm giving you one more chance to not fuck us over," Johanna told him. "You know what you're brother is capable of. You are as much in danger as we are." While he carried Alec over his shoulder, Johanna walked over to Delly. "How is he?" she inquired after Alec.

Alec's injuries were critical as his leg splintered from the dog's teeth biting into his fibula and tibia. The bones were shattered. Delly dressed the large gaping wound as best she could by wrapping the lower leg tight with gauze and tape. The blood seeped through the bandage. "I gave him enough drugs to drug an elephant. He should be asleep until we reach District 4. I'll call in to have them prep for emergency surgery once we arrived." Under pressure, I could rely on Delly to keep her head cool and remained professional.

"I need you to help me and Katniss, Delly," Johanna confided in her as she handed a rifle to her. "I know that I can trust you to do what needs to be done." She nodded her head and grabbed the rifle. In the meantime, Rory needed to redeem himself.

"I swear under…Prim's soul that I won't disappoint any of you," he swore to us. I believed him for he would never break his promise in Prim's name.

Under cover of night, we reached our destination. Throughout the last remaining miles of our journey, I tethered Peeta to me by tying a strap from my belt to his. I needed my hands free in case Gale attacked us again. It was desperate but necessary measure that Peeta accept without question. I didn't want to be separated from him again. Pee break or not, he was never leaving my sight or side until we both reached District 12 safe and sound.

"Why don't you pull a collar on him, Katniss?" Johanna teased us.

"Yeah, and put on a tattoo on his forehead "Property of Katniss Everdeen while you're at it," Delly added with amusement. Their teasing relieved the already stressful and hard day we had. It felt comforting to be back with my family even under the circumstances.

"Ha, ha. You guys are too funny," I retorted. I didn't care what they thought. It only mattered if Peeta objected to my paranoid and desperate solution. However, he was too weak to argue. Throwing up the contents in his stomach took whatever strength he had left in him.

We all sighed in relief as two Guardsmen greeted us.

"Commander Mason." A Guardsmen addressed her as we reached the hovercraft that had landed on top of a hill. "Is everyone accounted for?"

"Yes," Johanna returned in relief. "We need to contact a hospital once we reach District 4. We have a companion…" Her voice faded as I realized that Peeta stood behind me and was looking back into the forest. Delly was helping Alec into the craft while Rory walked behind them.

"Peeta, what's wrong?' I asked him. There was a look in his face I've seen before. It was the same look he had when he volunteered for Haymitch during the 75th Quarter Quell reaping. I hated that look.

"I can't leave," he started. "Too many have gotten hurt because of me––"

"Peeta, all that happened has never been your fault," I interrupted him. "If it's anyone's fault it's mine."

He shook his head in disagreement. This was the only thing we disagreed on. "I'm sick and tired of him hunting for me…people got hurt or died because of him." There in his eyes, I saw resolve and determination. He's been poisoned and weak from the drug in body, mind and spirit, but he was determined to end the nightmare that had been following since he returned home to District 12. We stood toe to toe and in complete silence communicating to each other without words passing between us. I grabbed his hand and took a deep breath.

"What do you want to do, Peeta?" I asked him. I needed the word to be said.

"What I didn't want to do but…have to do if I don't want anymore people getting hurt because of me," he sighed.

"Hey, you two. Come on, it's time to go," Johanna interjected. She stared at the two of us. "What's going on?"

I turned to Johanna. "We're staying." I answered for Peeta.

"Are you saying what I think you're saying," Johanna asked. She read my eyes. "Then, I'm staying too."

"Johanna––" Peeta began.

"No, you can't stop me," she said in defiance. "I am not about to hightail back to safety with the two are here alone. With _him_." She adjusted the rifle on her shoulder. "I'm not going to lose both of you. Nor would I'd ever forgive myself if anything happened to both of you." She lifted her chin and muttered. "And there is nothing you can do to stop me."

Peeta walked over to her. "Peeta––" she started and jumped as he wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug.

"Don't ever change, Johanna," he whispered in her ear. I smiled at them. She kissed his cheek in return.

"Commander Mason, it's time to go," the Guardsmen announced.

"Give me five minutes and don't you two are leave without me," she demanded from us as she walked back to the hovercraft.

Peeta turned to me. "Thank you," he said.

"No need to thank me, Peeta." I wanted to say to him, _'I die for you,'_ but it wasn't necessary since he already knew I would die for him.

"I couldn't do this without you," he admitted. Johanna returned with two backpacks, rifles and supplies.

"The idiot was arguing with me, saying that Haymitch would have his head if he left us behind," she announced. I helped Peeta with his pack while we readied ourselves for our journey.

"He's going to be livid when he finds out what we're doing?" I returned.

"Doesn't matter what he thinks or says, he's not here to stop us. Thank God," she asserted. A few seconds later, we watched as the hovercraft lifted into the air. Peeta reached down and grabbed my hand feeling him tremble. We said a silent good bye as it flew in the air and away from us. I held my breath in fear and anticipation as it cleared the sky and made it safely away from the forest and from Gale.

Johanna turned to us, "Let's set up for the night because tomorrow…we're going hunting."

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_**AN: Thank you for reading this chapter. Any review or comments would be greatly appreciated. Hope that every one has a Happy, Merry and safe Christmas to you and your family. Will update before the New Year. Stay safe.**_


	55. Chapter 55 - The Baker vs the Hunter

Chapter 55 – The Baker versus the Hunter

_AN: My apologies for not being able to update sooner. I hope everyone had a wonderful and safe New Year. Many thanks to my reviewers [Trude, Matainer, LACR, IcyPinkLemonade, RedPhoenix09, Manaliac and Browniangel] I don't own the Hunger Games or the main characters. Please read at your discretion for the foul language and violence depicted in this chapter._

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**Haymitch POV ––**

"I'm going to wring their necks when I see them," I threatened, my diatribe ignored by Effie who stood beside me as we watched the hovercraft land on the rooftop of the hospital. I couldn't decide whom first. Johanna…Katniss…no Peeta, that's who. I'm ranting to myself just as Delly disembarked and walked over to us. I didn't recognize her as she wore a long sleeve shirt, dark pants and military boots. Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail. Her face smeared with dirt. She looked…like a rebel coming back from the war. I hid my pride of her wanting to help her friends but angry for endangering her life and the life of her unborn child. It was foolhardy and reckless.

First things first, Effie and I ran towards her just as Alec was wheeled into the hospital building. When the lead Guardsmen reported that Peeta, Katniss and Johanna had stayed behind, I had to clear my mind for a few seconds. There were no words to describe what I felt at that moment. Fear, concern, helplessness and fury jumbled together. I couldn't discern what weighed heavily in my mind. _'What the fuck were they thinking?'_ My mind screamed.

"What the fuck were you thinking, Delly?" I repeated out loud as I gnashed my teeth feeling my whole head waiting to explode. I hugged her and then stepped back.

"Hi, Haymitch." Delly had the nerve to look defiant as my ever-forgiving wife and patient embraced her.

"Hi? That's all you have to say to me?"

"It's good to see you safe and sound, Delly," Effie comforted her. "You had us worried."

"I had to––" she started.

"You had to do nothing," I exploded. "You're pregnant for god's sake. What was going on in your blonde head that made you do something so…so…reckless and stupid?"

"Don't yell at me," Delly simpered as tears appeared in her eyes. Oh no, she was not about to start crying, was she? I hate crying women.

"Haymitch, please don't start," Effie suggested. "Let's get her checked our before you go any further. We should have a doctor examine her to make sure that she and the baby are all right."

My eyes grew wide, my mouth opened as Effie spoke her directive to me calm and firm. She took command of the situation for I surely was at loss what to do and say to Delly. I knew what I wanted to say to her but…I understood her motive as to why she left. I admitted that I never have thought that Delly would gone to great lengths to help them even if it meant endangering her life and her baby. She's got spunk that's for sure. Its no wonder Peeta had retained his friendship with her. She was loyal to a fault.

"How's Alec?" I sighed realizing that yelling at Delly would have to wait. I was far from over at yelling at her.

"The bite's deep, nerves serrated and his bones were splintered." I flinched as Delly explained his injuries. "They need to get him into surgery as soon as possible. He lost a lot of blood." I sighed again. I had to handle one thing at a time. This felt too much like my years as a mentor with Peeta, Katniss and Johanna in the woods while I stayed behind.

"So tell me what's going on over there?" I asked her with fear and concern. Once Alec was settled and prepped for surgery Delly reported their situation.

I paced the floor while Delly and Effie sat on a long sofa in the waiting room. "So Peeta's been poisoned with trackerjacker venom and you…Johanna let him go after Gale?" I raised my hands in surrender and frustration. "Holy mother of…fucking hell," I sputtered.

"Haymitch, calm down and watch your language," my wife scolded me. I ignored her. This wasn't a time for civility or manners. When did I lose control of the situation?

"Why would she let him do that?"

"I don't know," Delly answered. "I didn't even know they were staying behind before it was too late. The next thing I knew Johanna was hugging me goodbye, and took some supplies."

"What are you going to do, Haymitch?" Effie asked as I sat down next to her. With my head bowed down and hands framing my temple I blurted, "I have no choice now. I'm going to send reinforcements."

"What about Gale, won't he see the hovercraft coming?" Effie inquired. I looked at the clock. It was past midnight. I didn't know where and how I could get another craft to intercept Peeta, Katniss and Johanna. Besides, they have probably bunked for the night. I couldn't request for another ship without alerting Paylor. I remembered our meeting the two nights before, I was certain that she knew what I or rather we have been up to.

* * *

_**Flashback ––**_

"_I do apologize for interrupting your dinner if I hadn't thought meeting you was necessary," Paylor started._

"_It's fine," I said. It wasn't but who was I to deny an audience with the new President of Panem._

"_When I appointed Johanna Mason to be the interim Commanding Officer to the Guardsmen, imagine my surprise that she accepted the post readily without any resistance," she started. Paylor was seated on an armchair with a glass of red wine in her hand._

"_Mason has always been unpredictable, a rebel," I muttered. "Even if she does hate authority, she does respect you." She hated Coin but I wasn't about to reveal that.  
_

"_I know she's a capable individual or else I wouldn't have placed her in a highly coveted position," she surmised. "I know that she will not do anything to taint or damage the office. Not like her predecessor."_

"_I'm sorry that Hawthorne was a…disappointment."_

"_I was wrong to…appoint him," she sighed. "I thought that after everything he had accomplished in his young life, he should have been rewarded for his participation during the rebellion. I never anticipated that he would abuse his power and authority in such a manner. I just don't understand what happened to him." _

"_Power is an addictive and dangerous thing to possess," I added. "You should know first hand how it corrupts people." She nodded her head in understanding. Alma Coin had the taste of that power. She was no different from Snow. Had she came to power there would have been more Hunger Games, but this time with children from the Capitol. Thank God for Katniss_

"_Is there something I need to know?" she asked. My brow lifted in surprise._

"_Haymitch, you should know by now, I know what goes on in the districts," she stated matter of fact. "I don't have spies but I do have my ear on the ground." _

"_So you've known what's been happening to Peeta?" Shock and relief filled me._

"_I have not intervened or involved myself in your matter, but since Johanna has acquired one of my hovercrafts, her actions become my responsibility."_

"_I don't know what to tell you without breaking Peeta's confidence," I mumbled. _

"_You wouldn't be breaking his confidence if I already know what's going on." She placed her wine glass onto a side table. Then she leaned back and placed an elbow on the arm of her chair as her chin perched on her hand. "I know about Peeta and his…situation."_

"_How much do you know?"_

"_That he has been stalked for months and that Ms. Perry was one of her stalkers."_

"_How did you––"_

"_Dr. Aurelius and Templeton are acquaintances of mine," she said as she raised her hand. "They didn't reveal medical information about Peeta. That is privileged information even for myself. But…they did reveal to me that Peeta had been abducted by Ms. Perry and that she had an accomplice who some reason they wouldn't tell me who she or he is."_

"_I think it is best that you don't know who is involved…for your sake," I suggested. A brow lifted on her serene face. "You will have deniability when all hell break loose as I know it will."_

"_I see."_

"_Please trust me when I say that Peeta has been…concern about everyone's welfare even yours. Enough innocent people have been 'affected' with his situation," I added. "It's best that you leave the matter to me because when all is said and done, you will need Plutarch and Cressida to put the matter to rest." The scandal would rock Panem and Paylor's administration as the First President._

"_Are you saying that you have the 'situation' under control?"_

"_If I had my say…I would have 'handled' Peeta's problem a long time ago, but the kid has a sense of fair play and believes in second chances." I cleared my throat. "Please trust me to take care of this."_

"_My administration has been fraught with resistance and problems I inherited from Snow. If you can 'take care' of the problem then I know that I'm leaving it with capable hands. Which leads me to another reason why, I insisted on meeting you this evening…"_

_To say I was surprised after our 'meeting' was over was an understatement. As Effie laid her head on my chest after a pleasurable night of exploring my wife's heavenly body, I couldn't sleep. Little did I realize that the days ahead would test my resolve and patience._

_**End of flashback ––**_

* * *

"I don't know what to do?" My heart thumped hard and fast in my chest. I felt as though I was getting a heart attack. "Damn kids, they're trying to kill me. They're grounded once they get back. They're not allowed to go anywhere, if I have my say."

Effie and Delly laughed. "Oh, yes. I can see that happening?" Effie snickered. A nurse dressed in pale green uniform entered the waiting room. "Ms. Cartwright? Dr. Hurley is able to see you now?"

"Effie?" Delly placed a hand on top of Effie's. "Will you come with me?"

"I will be honored, Delly," she answered back. Before she left the room, Effie placed an arm over my shoulder. "Please calm down and try to relax." I grunted in reply. "You need to be clear headed."

How I wished I had a bottle of liquor to sooth my anxiety. These kids will be the end of me. Half an hour later, Delly and Effie returned from her exam. "So is everything okay?"

Delly nodded her head and I noticed that she had tears in her eyes. "What's wrong then?"

"She decided to find out the sex of the baby," Effie answered, her smile big and her eyes twinkled with delight.

"Well?"

"I'm going to have…a girl," Delly sobbed with joy. "I wish…I wish that I could tell Peeta, Katniss and Johanna. I wish they were here." She broke down into tears. The weight of anxiety and fear consumed her.

"Are you going to tell Bron?" Effie asked.

"I will once…I take quick shower and some sleep," Delly replied. It was nearly 2am and Alec was still in surgery.

"Why don't we head home?" Effie suggested.

"I'm going to stay for Alec," I told them. Leaving him felt wrong. He had volunteered to help find Peeta and I felt as if I was abandoning him.

"Honey, the doctor said that he's going to be in surgery for hours," she reminded me. "Why don't you tell one of the nurses to call us when it's over. There's no point in staying here. We're all exhausted." Delly looked like she was about to collapse as she clutched onto Effie. It didn't take much to convince me since I was beyond exhausted from sleep depravation and worry.

Delly went straight to her room. My feet automatically lead me to our bedroom. Effie closed all the curtains in the room. "Haymitch, please change your clothes before you get into bed."

Once changed, my head hit the pillow and the next thing I knew Effie was nudging my shoulder. "Honey, the hospital called." I blinked my eyes a few times to adjust my vision. "Alec is out of surgery." She was beautiful, my wife of a few weeks as she hovered over me. Her hair was down, she had no make up on and she wore a conservative dressing gown that hid all her womanly curves from her neck to dainty feet. I missed her thigh length, light blue robe that was made of silk, a material just as soft as her skin. She smelled of vanilla and lavender. I grabbed her by the waist and pulled her lean body on to the bed. She squealed in surprise. I recalled the days and nights of us in bed alone in our room. Our honeymoon postponed due to Peeta's situation. A quick marriage and wedding night was not what I wanted for my new wife. Effie deserved better.

"Haymitch, now is not the time for anything amorous to happen," she breathed, her voice wispy and soft. "Alec is awake and waiting for us." I groaned in aggravation. Thwarted, my mind slipped back to reality. Alec, right. She scurried off the bed and laid both hands on her hips when I remained unmoved on the bed.

"Haymitch, take a quick shower now. A car will be waiting for us in half an hour. I will pack us breakfast we can eat along the way." Effie Trinket-Abernathy was anything but efficient and organized; years as an escort reaper taught her as much. Breakfast was quick with a croissant filled with bacon, egg and cheese. I held onto my travel mug warming my hands against the warm metal canister. We left a note for Delly as Effie decided to leave her to sleep the morning away if it was necessary. She was sleeping and eating for two. "The poor dear was so exhausted. I couldn't awaken her to let her know we were leaving."

When we arrived, Alec was asleep. He looked pale, white as the sheet that lay upon him. I flinched as I realized a part of his lower right leg was in a cast and suspended. 'Shit, holy mother of…' my mind echoed. He's like Bron. I saw the irony of the situation. Peeta will be beside himself when he realizes the extent of Alec's injuries, one more thing to add to his conscience. Another person caught in Gale's games and relentless obsession with him.

"At least he's alive," Effie spoke as he walked over to his bedside. "The poor boy." A doctor walked in with datapad in her hand.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Rachel Coldwell," she announced herself. After a few seconds of formalities she explained Alec's surgery and condition. "His nerves and bones were infected. I thought of amputating his leg…we discovered that there was an infection that caused rapid stage of gangrene, but at least we caught it in time. I have never seen anything like it."

I had, the mutt dogs in the arenas when bitten guaranteed infection in the blood system. Once the bones were shattered, you would be lucky if your limb was saved on time. The mutation guaranteed an early death if not treated on time. These were one of Snow' machinations to ensure death at the early stage during the games. I still cannot understand how these dogs survived in District 3's forests. I would have to talk to Paylor and let her know that they existed and needed to be exterminated as soon as possible.

"Oh, shit," I exclaimed as a thought crossed my mind.

"What's wrong, Haymitch?" Effie asked, concern and worry on her beautiful face.

"There out there with Peeta, Katniss and Johanna." Effie gasped in fear. "Delly said that they had killed and injured a few. We don't know how many are out there."

"They're survived this far, Haymitch," she assured me. "They'll be fine. I heard Johanna took extras 'supplies' before the hovercraft left. Let's worry about one thing at a time." She turned to the doctor. "So he's okay then?"

"Well, we're checking his blood work every hour to make sure the virus or whatever is in his system is gone," Dr. Coldwell continued. "He's lucky to be alive. It's a good thing that you had a nurse when they picked him up. Otherwise, the outcome would have been different." Thank god, for Delly. She was in the right place at the right time. My little stowaway served a purpose; it was as if she was fated to be there for Alec. "His recovery will be slow and painful." But at least he's alive and intact.

"Alec will need to stay for a few days, a week at the most," Dr. Coldwell added. "Then, he can go back home. But, he will need extensive physical therapy." I sighed in relief that Alec had survived. It was my fault for asking him to help Peeta, but I detected that he had an ulterior motive regarding a certain brunette who has a penchant for axes. _'Love is weird,' _my mind recalled Johanna saying during the Quarter Quell.

After assuring Effie and I that Alec would remain asleep for most of his recovery, we wearily head back home to encounter shouts and screams coming out of our hotel suite. We ran directly to Bron room.

"Don't you fucking yell at me, Bron?" Delly screamed, her voice high pitched that would alert every dog around the block. "How dare you accuse me of…?" There were tears in her eyes. Delly was dressed in dark leggings and long tunic blouse that covered her belly. She looked tense and rigid.

"You…you lost your mind," Bron returned. "You're pregnant with my baby, Delly. What made you think to do something so…reckless, irresponsible…" I cringed. "You could have gotten hurt. You could have hurt the baby. My baby."

"Which I am carrying, not you Bron," she bellowed back. "I will do as I goddamn please. You're not my boyfriend or fiancé…so you have no right to tell me what do."

"What is going on in here?" Effie sounded.

"I'll tell you," Delly started. "I went in here to see him…" She pointed at Bron. "…I thought that we could have an adult conversation. And he…started yelling at me. He accused me of trying…trying to get rid of my baby. That I would purposely do something to…to…" She lifted her hand to cover her mouth. Effie walked over to her and wrapped her arms around Delly's waist. The look of anguish and anger etched on her face. "He…he…"

"Bron, I know you're upset, but how could you accuse Delly of such an…reprehensible idea that she would hurt the baby in any way," Effie scolded him. "Yes, it was reckless that she left but her intention was to help Peeta––"

"Peeta, Peeta, Peeta," Bron jeered. "I'm sick of people talking about good ole Saint Peeta. She's probably carrying his baby for all I know. Why would she go after him if he wasn't the father?" Delly's eye grew wide in disbelief and disgust.

"Bron––" Effie gasped.

"Bron," I warned him. I knew that he had some issues with Peeta being Delly's first love, but I never knew he harbored such resentment and bitterness. "I'd watch your mouth if I were you." Infirmed and incapacitated or not, he had no right to accuse Delly of infidelity when it was obvious that she truly loved him.

"What, what are you going to do, huh," Bron snickered back. "Break my leg. Oh, did you forget? They're already broken trying to protect Peeta?"

"What is going on in here?" Misty appeared at the doorway. "I leave for a few minutes and all hell is breaking loose." She looked at Delly. "I told you that he wasn't ready to see you, Ms. Cartwright," Delly sobbed.

"I made the mistake of thinking that he missed me…liked I missed him." She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. "I didn't think that he would be so vile and mean." She ran out of the room.

"I never thought you could so…vulgar and stupid," Effie wheezed with anger. "You are never going to see your baby if you keep this up." She left the room but stopped at the doorway. "She will never forgive you, Bron. Whatever chance you had is not happening in the near future…the next time she visits, if ever…you will grovel on your hands and knees and beg for forgiveness. She didn't deserve that." Effie exited the room.

"She can go and have the baby elsewhere," Bron hollered. "It's probably not mine anyway."

"Bron I told you––"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Abernathy," Misty started as she stood between Bron and me. "I gave him a shot of morphine a few minutes ago. I caught him attempting to get out of bed and he collapsed and reinjured his arm. He's not himself."

"I don't care," I said and directed my eyes to Bron. He was sweating and breathing through his mouth.

"I didn't think he'd be…I mean…I never seen anyone reach like…that!" Misty concluded. "I guess he's not reacting to the dosage well."

"You think?"

"Stop talking about me like I'm not here," Bron spoke. He leaned back on the bed resting a hand on his temple. "I feel woozy and weird." He blinked his eyes a few times. His bright blue eyes were dilated.

"I'm sorry Mr. Abernathy," Misty repeated.

"No, no apologies necessary," I informed her. "What came out of his mouth was something that had been rooted in his mind for some time. It's not your fault you're hired and experiencing Bron's meltdown. He's been through a lot." A lot but it was inexcusable for his irrational behavior. "Can you leave us for a few seconds?" Misty looked reluctant to leave but left accordingly.

"You listen to me, Bron," I started. "I understand that you're frustrated, in pain and scared."

"I'm not scared," he lied. I could tell he was holding onto anger that he kept to himself. Being confined and hurt, his emotions reached a boiling point. The drug loosened his inhibitions and instead of rationally speaking to Delly, he lashed out.

"We'll you should be," I retorted back. "You're ex-fiance basically put her life and the baby she's carrying in danger. I'd be scared shitless and really, really angry."

Bron looked sheepish and resigned. "It's because of Peeta, always about Peeta––"

"You better stop going on about Peeta," I interjected. "Yes, she went and endangered herself when she stowed away on the supply bot, but she also went there for Katniss and Johanna. She loves those two like they're her sisters. Have you ever thought that maybe she missed them…she lost all of her family, her parents and her only brother." I understood that lose. "As for Peeta, there is no denying that she loves him. She is clinging to him because you…Bron, you failed her. Do I have to remind you why you two are no longer engaged?"

He shook his head in shame. "I want to make it up to her but she won't let me."

"Well, excuse her for losing faith in you. A betrayal like that doesn't go away. You're interaction with Gale is unforgivable. So…if Delly is having a hard time believing in you, you did that to yourself." I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "Listen, she's pregnant and hormonal, not thinking rationally when it comes to people she loves and that includes you. Her love for you didn't go away, but it was driven away by yours truly."

"I know, Haymitch, I know," he repeated. He placed two fingers on the bridge of his nose while he pinched his eyes together. "I fucked up accusing her of having Peeta's baby. I know that. I don't know what's wrong with me." I do, you've been pumped with drugs and thinking irrationally but I wasn't about to tell him that.

"Bron, you need to give her space and work on your issues regarding her relationship Peeta," I told him. "He has never given you any reason to accuse him the way you did…he loves Katniss, always had and always will. His world revolves around her. You need to put your foot down when she gets…clingy with him. If you want to regain the trust you shattered, you need to put your jealous to rest."

"What about Delly?" he asked. "How can I prove myself to her if she only sees Peeta as her source of comfort. How can I compete with her feelings for him?"

"Have you two ever thought of just sitting her down and talking to her?" I advised him. "I mean, really talk to her about your feelings, insecurities and thoughts? Maybe, just maybe she'll see that she has to put you first just like any normal person in a relationship."

"What if she discovers that she really loves Peeta?" he asked, his face pinched with fear. "What if she doesn't have any room in her heart but for him?"

"You know Delly, Bron. Do you really think that she doesn't have any room for you and all of it is for Peeta? That what she felt for you wasn't real, making you a consolation prize? Think back to your relationship with her and dig deep inside and tell yourself that she didn't love you." Bron dipped his head down, his fingers intertwined while it rested on his lap.

"You both need to sit own and talk to each other. Don't let time pass and your insecurities get in the way." I thought of Effie and I, how it took nearly two decades to finally be together. "Don't make the same mistakes I made. Start over if you must, only if you can handle your issues with Peeta and deal with Delly. Peeta isn't your problem; Delly is your problem. Live with it or cut your losses."

I left Bron to contemplate what I said. I wished someone had sat me down and helped me deal with my issue when I was his age. Maybe I wouldn't have turned to alcohol to hide behind and deny the life I could of had. _'When did I become a couple's therapist?'_ I asked myself. It was bad enough that I'm stressed with Peeta, Katniss and Johanna, but having to deal with Delly and Bron was more than I wanted to handle. I am never having any kids if this was what I was looking forward to.

**Johanna POV ––**

We took a ten-minute rest break before heading towards high ground away from where the craft landed. Katniss, Peeta and I sighed in relief as the hovercraft sped off into the night without any incident.

After the craft sped off into the distance like a dot in the sky, I equipped Peeta and Katniss new gear, boots and clothes. The new Guardsmen uniforms were designed with insulated metallic mesh. No knife or needle can penetrate it. I wished I had the hindsight to dress Peeta with it before Gale injected him. Also, I had commandeered Rory's military tag and Delly's necklace devices and given them to Peeta and Katniss. I felt much better knowing that Haymitch back in District 4 could monitor us.

As for Peeta, I handed over an anti-nausea pill that helped sooth his stomach and throat after throwing up the contents of his stomach. For a few minutes Katniss comforted him as the bile in his throat choked him. He was pale and drawn when his nausea subsided. Yet, he pressed on determined to not let Gale win.

I trailed behind Peeta as Katniss walked ahead of us. Her bow and arrow clutched in her strong capable hands ready to fire when necessary. Every few minutes she turned and looked back at Peeta. She was concern of his welfare since he had been injected with trackerjacker venom hours before. Every chance she got she'd touched his face and soothed him with words of love and support reminding him who she was. I had forgotten that when I gave the new clothes she looked like the MockingJay. An image that was used to brainwashed Peeta. To distract him I asked him if he could pick out up long branches or wood along the way. I hoped that it kept his mind busy.

"What for?" he asked.

"I want to whittle the wood into stakes," I told him. It was a ruse but he accepted it.

After half an hour we bunked for the night. Anticipation and impatience were my sleeping companions as Katniss and Peeta slept. Wide-awake I stood up and stretched my legs. I picked up the branches Peeta collected and whittled a couple of sharp knives or stakes since I couldn't sleep. I didn't know how long I was working that I was startled when Peeta approached me. "Hey."

"Peeta, you shouldn't sneak up on me like that?" I berated him with my stake in my hand ready to strike. "You must be getting lessons from Katniss. I didn't even hear you approach me." My heart shot up to my throat.

"Can't sleep?" he asked, his voice soft. "I couldn't either, something kept waking me up every few minutes."

"How are you feeling?" My backpack had long leather straps that I used the excess for the handle wrapping it around the base of stake.

"Better when you gave me the pill, thank you," he returned. "Could I have one of those?" He pointed to the stake that I finished and had placed on the ground. I nodded my head. He felt comfortable with his staff but it would be good to hide a stake or two into his boot just in case. He watched me for a few minutes.

"Johanna?"

"Yes, Peeta?"

"Thank you for staying…I know that this doesn't make sense to you after telling you that I didn't want to go after Gale but…"

"Oh, I understand more than you realize, Peeta." I did, but I needed him to acknowledge it. I was elated when he decided to stay behind never uttering his reason, but it was clear to Katniss and me of what he wanted. Us together like this reminded me of the time in the Quarter Quell. It just made me miss Finnick more than ever.

"I'm tired of running," he started. "I accepted everything that had happened to me; the torture and the abuse both from the Capitol and with Eva and Gale. I told Katniss once that I didn't want the Capitol to change me. I swore that I would never…be part of their game, but…I did."

"Peeta, the only reason why you did was because of the hijacking," I told him. "Snow knew he could never change you so he did the one thing, the only thing that changed you. He hijacked your mind and body, Peeta. He had to drug you to become––"

"A monster that hated and was programmed to kill Katniss." He supplied. "The drugs changed Gale too. I'm just like him."

"You're wrong, the difference is that he used drugs to change him. He willingly used drugs Peeta, you were tortured and held down while they injected you with trackerjacker."

"I still become a monster though," he said. I stopped what I was doing and faced him.

"Peeta, you become a monster by force, Gale become one by choice," I stated. He wasn't convinced with my argument. "I'm just glad that you made the decision to go after him."

"I didn't want to," Peeta admitted. "But after he injected me I realized that I had to. He will keep going after everyone I love if I don't find a way to stop him. He wants me dead and I can't go around avoiding him forever." He sat next to me and stared at the landscape in front of us. It was a beautiful evening with the moon hovering above us. The air was cold and chilly. I wrapped my arms around my rifle. "I'm tired of running, waiting for something to happen and looking over my shoulder wherever we go."

"He'll never hurt anyone ever again, Peeta. I promise you that."

"I don't want him dead, Johanna."

"Peeta––" I was frustrated by his altruistic and noble gesture. He was resolved to give Gale a second chance, or was it third or fourth chances. I lost count.

"I just want this to be over so all of us can go on with our lives."

"And what if the only choice we have is to…Katniss said that you want to bring him back so he can be rehabilitated. What if he gives you no choice?"

"I have enough blood on my hands Johanna. Aren't you tired of getting more on yours?" he asked me. I hated it when he challenged me. Before Peeta, I cared of no one's opinion. It was easier to live in my own violent bubble keeping people at a distance and not tying myself to anyone. "I don't want to add Gale's death in my nightmares," he added. "Or a list of people I hurt or killed?

I know what I want to happen, Johanna. I'm not stupid. But all my life, I had a mother who abused me and…I still loved her. She was my mom. I never knew what it was like to be loved by someone I loved back. My own mother resented and hated me. I could have turned out like her; bitter, jaded and resentful. But I had a father who loved me the best he could. It wasn't enough and I could have ended up like her. The abused becomes the abuser. I don't want to live in a world of death and hate."

"It's not a crime to hate people, Peeta. It's natural to dislike people especially if they don't like you back. You can't live in your bubble and expect people to be like you."

"I don't. I just want to be me. Who I was before I was reaped."

"That's––"

"Unrealistic, I know that. I'm trying to piece back what's left of me. I'm doing this for me. As for Gale, I don't expect him to be who he used to be. So much happened in our lives that changed us; including him and I can't help but feel…I can't help but feel sorry for him. I got…I got Katniss. She loves me. She chose me." I didn't think that he realized that he was chosen long before he was taken. Katniss just never acknowledged it. She was scared and clueless while everyone around her knew it.

"And Gale, being the sore loser that he is, is punishing you for it." He shrugged his shoulders. "He's making everyone's life miserable because he didn't get what he wanted."

"I got lucky and I can't help but feel happy about it. I finally got what I wanted. He meant something to her once. He was her best friend growing up. There's got to be a part of him left behind the drugs and alcohol that changed him." Argh, how can you argue with someone who was set to see the good in everyone?

"That's why you're my friend Peeta. You see the good in people while I see nothing but the bad. He's been the source of your hell and yet you still want to save him. Hell, you saw through me." We sat together for a few minutes enjoying the quiet. "You're a fucking saint," I muttered underneath my breath.

"I'm not. I know what really people think of me, Johanna," he started. "I'm far from being a saint. I have a temper and a bad side. I just don't want to be angry all the time and have it consume me." He was staring at his hands. He turned to look at Katniss. She was resting in a sleeping bag next to a low emitting heating lamp. She had a strained look on her face. "They look at me and think, he's a baker. He doesn't know a thing about fighting and killing like you and Katniss. I wasn't raise to wield a bow or axe in my hand so people assume I don't know how to fight."

"We like…we love you the way you are," I interjected. "Seeing you with a weapon is offensive…it doesn't look right with you. You don't have to be a fighter. That's now who you are."

"Johanna," he sighed. "I may not wield a weapon in my hand but I've been fighting all my life. I fought against becoming my mother and father whom I love dearly. I fought to be my own person when I was reaped, I fought to not want to kill unless necessary. I fought against the Capitol with in mind, body and spirit. I fought them until they figured out the only way to break me was to inject trackerjacker venom. I don't need to wield a weapon to be a fighter, Johanna. Doesn't make me less of man because I don't want to kill anyone and know how to use a knife or gun."

"I have never––"

"No you have never ridiculed or made me feel less for who I am," he stated. But in truth there had been others who did, criticizing him for his inability or ambivalence to fighting with a gun or in hand to hand combat. It was Peeta's innate ability to seek for peace with words and not with a gun in his hands.

"If the Capitol didn't have the ability to irreversibly change me, I'm not about to let Gale be the one to do it," he challenged. "I want to be me; the baker who fell in love with a hunter; the boy who baked cheese bread for his girl. Call me a wimp or a pussy I don't care. At the end of the day, I want to keep my hands clean and go home to my girl and make her happy."

"You're a fighter Peeta," I said to him. "Just like me and Katniss. You're right that you don't need a gun or sword to fight." He smiled for a few seconds. Then his face turned serious and somber as he stared at Katniss' sleeping form.

"But I'm also realistic," he said. "If I have to choose between Gale's life and yours or Katniss, I wouldn't hesitate in my decision who lives or dies. I know whose life will be forfeited."

"Just know that if push comes to shove and you can't…I won't hesitate either," I promised him. "You need to promise me something, Peeta?" He looked straight into my eyes. His blue orbs shone with curiosity and worry. I loved Finnick's green eyes that flashed and twinkled when he spoke in jest. I missed him as each day passed. Peeta's blue eyes were a balm to my soul. There had never been a truer friend than Finnick before Peeta came along.

"Don't…don't put yourself in harm's way," I said. "I know you. You'll put yourself in danger in order to protect Katniss and me. Please remember that there are people in your life who will be devastated if anything happened to you."

"I'll make that promise as long as you do the same." He held out his hand to me. "I made the same deal with Katniss so you need to shake my hand to seal the deal." I grabbed his hand and shook it. His grip was strong and firm.

"I doubt that you shook Katniss' hand to seal the deal," I snickered while he had the nerve to blush. I pulled and hugged him hard. "Thank you for being my friend, Peeta."

"You're welcome," he returned. "You're one of my best friends, Johanna. Never forget that." I swatted the hair that threatened to cover his eyes. I was never one for affection or physical contact with anyone. Peeta was in need of a haircut, but I doubted Katniss agreed with me. I would catch her caressing his locks while he slept or sat beside him. Her hand ran through his hair around his ears or around the nape of his head. She could never stop touching him that way. It was the same for him as he touched her hair when she wore it in braid or when it cascaded down her shoulders. They were both very lucky to have each other.

"So…" Peeta started. I gulped a pocket of air into my lungs. I winced as the chill passed my throat.

"So?"

"Alec told me what happened at the cliff," Peeta said. I turned my head to stare at the scenery in front of me. "Want to talk about it?" I debated whether I was ready to talk to him about the feelings rolling inside me.

"I fell, he and Rory helped me get up the cliff…end of story," I edited my version of the incident. My mind stuttered and I fought to keep the incident behind me.

"Johanna."

"He saved my life," I said. "I panicked and freaked out in front of them. It was no big deal. I recovered. That's it." Peeta reached out and grabbed my hand as I attempted to pull back. He knew when I needed to speak or break the silence between as I gathered my thoughts. He was patient and understanding, never pushing as he waited patiently. It was one of the qualities I admired about him. He always waited me out.

"Are you okay, Peeta?" I asked as I felt his trembling hands. The venom was still in his system as he fought it. I could tell it was taking a toll on him. Katniss even suggested on taking him home, but he argued against it. I watched him shake and tremble as the hour passed. Katniss and glanced at each other but never uttered a single word. Peeta hated to call attention to him self especially if he was hurt or injured.

"I'm okay, Johanna," he sounded, his voice low and raspy. "Just as long as you and Katniss stand by me, I'll be okay. I just…just really need to do this for me."

I nodded understanding his point of view. "That doesn't mean I'm not letting you get away about not talking what went on at the cliff," he reminded me. I sighed and took a deep cleansing breath.

"I was careless. I thought…when I saw the water below me, I thought was back there." I swallowed a ball of saliva that gathered in my mouth.

"In the Capitol?" I nodded my head as Peeta gripped my hand tighter.

"I saw…I had flashbacks of 'my sessions.' I froze and couldn't move. If it wasn't for Alec I…don't know how I found the strength to climb up his makeshift rope, but I did it. Every emotion I felt came back to me in a single moment," I told him. Peeta rubbed my back with his hand, up and down my spine; slow and deliberate. It calmed me. He calmed me as the ache in my throat lessened. "I never thought I would feel like that again."

"So…Alec saved your life," Peeta concluded. "I guess I owe him for saving my best friend's life then. I should promote him and make him the head baker."

I snickered at him. "Peeta, you haven't even opened up your bakery yet, you dork." I looked at him. He was hiding something. I narrowed my eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I should have written a will in case something happened to me," He ranted as he ignored my glare.

"Don't you fucking dare talk like that."

"What? I didn't say anything that didn't sound unreasonable." He turned his head, his eyes away from me.

"Yeah, but I know you, Peeta Mellark. If you plan on…I fucking will kill you myself for talking like that."

"Like what?" he blustered. Even in the dark of night, I knew he was squirming. "Sheesh, Johanna, I was just saying that––"

"Peeta, oh my god, really?" I screeched. "Really?" I looked back at Katniss who slept on.

"I don't know why you getting upset. I was just saying that I should have made some plans just in case. It's a business decision. I want to make sure Katniss is cared for just in case, you know. And I want the bakery to move forward just in case something happens to me."

He had the nerve to look embarrassed. "Nothing is going to happen to you, okay? And…" I jabbed my finger onto his chest. "You…better… not…do anything to get yourself killed. Do you hear me? Peeta? You just shook my hand swearing to not do anything to put yourself in danger. You will swear on Katniss' soul that you will not do anything…you will not sacrifice your life––"

Before I could finish my sentence Katniss awoke from her sleep. "Peeta? Peeta?" she screamed. She sat up and had wild look in her face. Peeta ran and knelt beside her.

"Katniss, I'm here, I'm here," he comforted as he wrapped both his arms around her waist. She immediately sank into his embrace, her breath hard and harsh. "Did you have a nightmare?" He planted his lips on her forehead while Katniss nodded her head. "I'm right here, baby. You're safe."

"Peeta's okay, Katniss," I repeated. "Peeta's here with you."

"He took you away from me," she panted. "He…he…" She sobbed in anguish.

"Shh, it's okay. It was just a bad dream." He gathered her in his arms, rocking her back and forth. Katniss then lifted his shirt underneath his jacket and felt for his chest. Peeta winced as her cold hand met his warm skin.

"Nothing can happen to you. I won't know what to do if anything happened to you," Katniss mumbled, her face smashed on his chest. Peeta turned and met my eyes.

"Nothing will happen to Peeta," I said. "Peeta would never let anything happen to him, right Peeta?" He never acknowledged my question. "I would never let anything happen to him again."

"Everything is going to be all right, Katniss," Peeta promised her. We sat there for a few minutes and waited as Katniss calmed down.

"Stay with me," she said to Peeta as she lay back down and extended her arms to him. Peeta removed his shoes and slipped inside their sleeping bag. "Always," he whispered, his words low and soft that I barely heard it in the still of the night. You could hear crickets chirping the air and an owl hooting amongst the trees.

Half hovering and straddling her body, his forehead rested against hers. It was an intimate moment between them but I couldn't help but be drawn to their interaction. It was sweet, loving and tender. I sighed and wondered whether I would ever experience that kind of love they had. Their love was true and real. If Peeta who was once shattered and broken could find love with someone maybe, I may have the chance to find it in my life. Both Peeta and Katniss are far braver than I to accept love in their life. I should be so lucky to have that much courage and to have someone love me for who I am.

However, there was still Gale to contend with. Blood on my hands was something I could live with especially if it was Gale's. There will no peace for all of us if Gale continued to persecute and stalk Peeta.

It was close to five in the morning when I'm awakened abruptly from my sleep. The sun has not yet peaked the horizon. I twisted and turned in my sleeping bag trying to get back to sleep but to no avail. I sat up and reached over my backpack to take a sip of water from my canteen. Peeta and Katniss were both fast asleep as he spooned her body against his chest. I took a deep breath and tried to relax. I couldn't. I was restless and jumpy. I couldn't wait any longer so I put on my shoes and tiptoed away from our campsite hoping that I wouldn't wake both Peeta and Katniss. With the rifle in my hand and my finger on the trigger, I took a step deeper into the cold and foggy forest.

**Peeta POV ––**

I watched the sun rise and felt the heat warmed my face as it ascended into the sky. The orange tinted sunlight of red and yellow were colors I had yet to master on my palette. Just like the warm color of Katniss' skin had eluded me whenever I tried to paint her on a canvass. My mind flitted with images of our life, waking and sleeping in our bed together only to be dampened by reality. It was a moments' decision when I blurted out that I was staying. It sprung out of my mouth before it registered in my mind. I was prepared to argue my point with Katniss and Johanna but it seemed they understood why I wanted to go after Gale despite the fact that my mind has been compromised and I'm sick to my stomach with pent up anger and venom.

I'm angry at Gale for his obsession with me; I'm angry with myself for prolonging this horror that has affected everyone that I love.

It seemed that words and my reluctance to fight were not enough to keep Gale away from me. He persistence to tormenting me weighed heavily on my life and everyone around me. It was time that I took matters onto my own hands. If literally, for the sake of Katniss' life as well as mine. He would never stop until one of us was dead.

Katniss sighed in her sleep. It took half an hour to calm her after her nightmare. But with words of comfort and reassurance that I was okay, she drifted off to sleep clutching me in a tight grip. I had awakened to discover Johanna' sleeping bag empty. Sighing, I should have anticipated it. I was reluctant to move since I wanted Katniss to sleep a bit more before I awakened her. I trusted in Johanna to not abandon us to go after Gale on her own. She knew I would never forgive her if she had. She knew about my issues of trust and abandonment.

Half an hour later, I heard the rustle of leaves in the air. With fear and worry bubbling in my stomach, I dislodged Katniss from my embrace. She awakened quickly pouting and scowling at the same time. "Peeta?" she mumbled, her voice soft from sleep and a hint of aggravation. It amused me to no end when I discovered that Katniss was not a morning person despite the fact that she awoke early in the morning to go hunting. Walking up early was a necessity she adapted to feed her family. It seemed that she took great pleasure sleeping in my arms and was loathe to be awakened even by me. She was grumpy in the morning with her hair astray and looking adorable as she pouted her lower lip in annoyance.

"Shhh," I placed a finger on my lips as I stood up and grabbed my staff. Katniss reacted as she grabbed her bow and arrow. We're poised for an attack when Johanna appeared coming out of the woods with her rifle in her hands.

"Johanna, where have you been?" I asked with curiosity and bit of anger for leaving without letting us know that she had left.

"I found him," Johanna announced. She was sweaty and out of breath.

"What?" Katniss asked.

"Gale. I know where he camped out for the night," she picked her sleeping bag and rolled it into small bag. "Well, come on. I don't want to let him get away." We quickly packed up our campsite without any delay.

"How far he is from here?" Katniss asked while she secured my backpack behind me as I held onto her bow. The air around felt thick with anticipation. This was it.

"Three miles north from here," she answered back.

"Johanna, why did you come back?" I asked her. She had the perfect moment to catch him unaware and yet she came back for us. She looked pensive as she answered back.

"I had him on my sights," she said. "I ready to pull the trigger but I couldn't. He was asleep against a tree trunk." Johanna sighed. "I want him dead, mind you but I wasn't about to shoot him when he's unarmed. Besides, I was distracted by a large brown bear nearby me. He saw me and I ran out of there."

"A bear?" Katniss sounded.

"Yeah, he was huge," she added. "It saw me and I ran as fast as I could. Then, I almost ran into a pack of dog along the way. We really have to be on the lookout for the bear and the mutt dogs. It would take at least a round of ammo to kill the bear." She reloaded a magazine in her rifle.

One hour later, we trailed right behind Johanna as she led us towards an area, which looked like a small campsite. In the center was a small fire pit with a patch of dirt 12 feet circling it. "Damnit, he's gone," Johanna stated the obvious. The fire was smoldering which meant he had just let a few minutes before. "He left camp about half an hour a go or less," Katniss surmised.

"Where do you think he's heading?" I asked.

"You mean besides looking for us, he's probably low in supplies and will look for water," Katniss answered back. "But I know I can track him, look." She pointed to the floor. On the ground were large imprints from his boots. "He was my hunting partner for years, I know how to track him if I wanted to."

"Why didn't say so?" Johanna asked.

"My concern was getting us out of here, Johanna. Peeta was my priority." She adjusted her quiver behind her. She looked like the MockingJay during the rebellion. I fought against the images that flashed in my mind when she dressed in the Guardsmen uniform. The only thing that kept me from getting triggered was Delly's necklace that was around her neck. It shone against the sun twinkling on her chest. Air escaped from my chest in one long breath. _'I can do this,'_ I reminded myself. I remembered Haymitch as he voiced his last advise to Katniss before the Quarter Quell arena. 'Remember who the real enemy is.'

Our pace was slow as Johanna and I stayed behind Katniss. She was focused on following Gale looking at the ground and the foliage around us. "Something wrong" she announced an hour later. "His footsteps are erratic, like he's dragging his feet for some reason."

"Maybe the bear got him and mauled his ass," Johanna quipped. "We should be so lucky." I smiled at her as she tried to ease the tension in the air. She winked at me.

"I don't see any bear or wild dog tracks anywhere," Katniss added as she touched the imprint on the ground. That's my Katniss focused on her mission while Johanna injected humor. I studied the both of them and wondered how lucky I was to have two strong women in my life, Correction, four strong women who became a part of the family I had lost. I went from being unloved to in love after the rebellion. I hoped that Delly finds her way back to Bron even after…his association with Gale. I wished that Johanna could see the good in Alec. I'm not blind; I was once like him attracted to a girl who didn't know she was worth loving. But first Haymitch and I will have a _'talk'_ with Alec about his intentions with Johanna. I can't help but feel over protective even though she could kick Alec's ass without my help. Johanna became the older sister I wished I had.

We heard a rustling of leaves from behind us; startled we looked at each other in anticipation. Katniss gestured her hand for me to stand behind her. I shook my head. I love Katniss more than anything, but I was not about to let her get hurt and use her as a shield for my well being. That is not who I am. She sighed at my stubbornness.

Johanna walked ahead as we followed the noise that was emitting behind several tall trees. As we approached the area, we found a bear mauling a mutt dog with his large teeth. I shut my eyes as the bear tore fur and flesh from the dog. "Is that…?" Johanna asked as she pointed at the bear's back. On his spine was an arrow lodged on its' back. "Gale," she guessed. We backed away slowly hoping not to alert the bear when a pack of dogs pounced right on top of the bear. Several dogs scratched and bit into the bear as it pawed and threw the pack aside one after the other. One dog fell on his back and landed a few feet away from us. Katniss automatically drew her bow and the arrow hit the dog between the eyes.

The dog produced a sick and piercing howl that alerted two other mutt dogs. "Shit," Johanna cursed. "Run." Without thinking Katniss and I ran as the dogs pursued us. I felt a twinge on my lower left leg but ignored it. Johanna fired shots at the dogs. One fell as the other turned to face her. Katniss turned around and hid behind a tree as I followed suit. She drew her bow and released an arrow killing the dog that was about to pounce on Johanna. The rest of the pack was busy attacking the bear. "Go," she commanded. Making sure that both were safe I ran behind them.

"Peeta," Katniss yelled.

"I'm okay. Go," I demanded. Johanna ran ahead that I lost sight of her. "Keep going. I'm right behind you." Stubborn Katniss stopped and waited for me. "Go, Katniss." My voice was raspy.

We ran together side by side for a few seconds. I followed her lead as we raced deep into the forest. I stopped abruptly, my body bent over by the waist as I caught my breath. "Where's Johanna?" I muttered at her as Katniss stopped as well. She placed a free hand on my forearm. Her touch calmed me for a second, her skin warm to touch underneath her long sleeve.

"I don't know," Katniss answered me. She was breathless and her face pink from exertion. She swiveled around looking for Johanna. A pit grew in my stomach. "She couldn't have gone far." She tried to assure me. "We can't call her out, Gale might hear us." I nodded in agreement.

With Katniss at lead, we pushed forward. Fear grew inside me as minutes passed. Johanna was nowhere on sight. I couldn't lose another person in my life. My staff felt heavy as I used it as a cane. I wasn't about to let her know that my leg was aching. We needed to move forward and find Johanna. I'm tired, hungry and sore from sleeping on the ground. We haven't even stopped for breakfast, it was a made rush to get to Gale only to find that he had already left. My stomach grumbled loud enough for Katniss and other woodland creatures to hear. "How are you feeling?" I debated to tell her the truth but lied instead.

"Just hungry since we didn't have breakfast," I said.

Katniss reached behind her pack and pulled out an energy bar. "We don't have time. We need to look for Johanna." I hated the fact that we lost her.

"You need to eat to counteract the venom," she insisted as she pressed the bar in my hand. "Just eat for a few minutes. Please eat."

I accepted it and tore the wrapper open. I stuffed my mouth with the protein bar. Then, I pulled out my canteen and washed it with cold water. She ate hers taking a small bite, her face flinched as she swallowed the honey flavored oats and blueberry bar. It was eatable and filling.

"I miss your cheese buns and a mug of hot chocolate," she sighed. I die for a cup of tea but we could afford to waste time.

"I'll make you dozen when we get back to twelve," I promised her.

"We'll stay in bed and don't leave the house for a week," she added. "And were are not leaving District 12 ever." It was nice thought, something to look forward to.

"That's a promise, Katniss," I reassured her. "First let's go find Johanna." She nodded her head.

We then continued to look for Johanna keeping in mind that we may encounter Gale. Suddenly, the sounds of gunfire filled the morning air. "That's got to be Johanna," I said. We ran towards the sound and found Gale holding Johanna in front of him with a long knife on her throat. She looked fine, but there was blood dripping from her forehead. Her rifle lay a few feet away from them.

"Mellark," he greeted me as his eyes laid on Katniss.

"Let her go, Gale," I growled.

"I was wondering when you'd get here and join our little party," Gale announced as he pressed the knife deeper into her throat. Katniss drew her bow as I stood beside her. I winced as I took inventory of Gale's appearance. His hair was longer than I've seen before. It was tousled and in disarray. He was unrecognizable as a beard covered his usually clean face. His face was drawn and gaunt; his eyes blood shot. His skin was patchy and flushed. He had unrolled his sleeves revealing his forearms. They were long, red fingernail scratches from wrist to elbow. A long white bandage was wrapped on the crook of his left arm. He looked unhinged as if he hasn't slept in days. I did however, noticed that his hands shook while he gripped the knife in his hands. "I'm surprised to see you, Mellark."

I raised my brow in question. "Oh, you thought that injecting me with venom would what...? Trigger me?" Katniss then step in front of me.

"Put the knife down, Gale and step away from Johanna," she said, her voice firm and infused with anger.

"Katniss," I called out to her as I laid a hand on her shoulder.

"You won't shoot me, Catnip," he said in a smug manner. "I'm your best friend."

"You _were_ my best friend," she stated. "I don't know who you are."

"You know me, Catnip," he returned.

"I knew you, Gale. The person I see in front of me is someone who takes great pleasure in hurting people." She raised her bow. "You even shot at your own brother. The Gale I knew would never harm Rory in any way."

"He betrayed me," he screamed back, spit and vitriol spewed from his mouth. I knew what was happening to him. He was suffering from withdrawal. I guess he never anticipated staying in the woods as long as we had. "No brother of mine, would side with…him." His eyes were hard and cold like steel. He was jumpy and irritable.

"Leave him out of it," Katniss yelled back. "This is between you and me."

"No, this…" he gestured towards me and himself, "…has always been between Mellark and me. He stole you away from me." I was sick and tired of his accusation that I stole Katniss as if she was property or a toy to be fought over. "You were mine before he came along. You were meant to be with me. Why can't you see that?"

"I don't belong to anyone," Katniss spit back. "I want to be with _him_. Why can't see _you_ see that I love Peeta." His anger grew as Katniss continued to profess her love for me. "He didn't steal anything from you. I went to him willingly."

"You're lying––"

"He's right, Katniss," I agreed with him only to shift Gale's attention and anger towards me.

"Peeta?"

"Gale knows that I did steal you from him," I said in a smug manner. "She's mine now and there is nothing you can do to change it."

"You're wrong. Once you dead, she'll come back to me."

"Then this is between you and me. Let Johanna and Katniss go and we'll…have it out between the two of us, man to man. They don't need to be here."

"Peeta, you can't––" Katniss pleaded.

"You're trying to trick me. I know you, Mellark." Gale looked around him. "You wouldn't be so smug about settling this between us if you weren't planning anything. Where is Rory and the other guy?"

"I sent them home."

"You're lying, I would have seen a hovercraft in the sky. Where is my sniveling little brother?" He raised his voice, "Hey, you little shit. Come out and face me."

"Like Peeta said. Both Alec and Rory are back in District 4. Alec was injured and Rory doesn't need to see you like this," Katniss commented. "You're sick and need to go the hospital. You're mom is worried––"

"I am not sick! And leave my mother out of this," Gale roared. "He brainwashed you. You would have never been with him if you weren't reaped. He changed you."

"Think about Posy and Vic," Katniss continued. "They miss you, they miss their brother."

"You're a sick fuck," Johanna said between clenched teeth. "She doesn't want you."

"Shut up bitch," he yelled at her. "No one 's talking to you."

"Maybe you're right that if I wasn't reaped I wouldn't have fallen in love with Peeta," she added. "But then I wouldn't have been with you either. Don't you remember Gale, I told you once that I was never going to fall in love and get married. Let alone have children." I kept my eyes on Gale.

"So what happened, Catnip?" Gale asked. "Why are you with him then? He's not that…special. I never understood how all those Merchant girls in school drooled and fawned over him. Even some of the Seams girls were attracted to him. He has too many _short_comings."

"I don't have to explain myself to you. How I feel about Peeta isn't your business."

"Bullshit. You owe me an explanation from how you went to not wanting to be with any one to wanting _him_." he bellowed. "I want to know why you're with _him_?" Katniss was lost for words. I could tell she was struggling to express or explain her feelings for me with Gale. I knew she loved me. It was obvious in the way she looked and touched me when we were together. She hated displays of affection when we were public and I was okay with that. She was selective and private when it came to expressing her feelings for me.

"Gale, I'll make a deal with you," I said distracting him from Katniss as I stepped in front of her. "You let them go and I'll…go with you––"

"Peeta no!" Katniss yelled behind me as Johanna echoed her response.

"It's okay Katniss," I said looking straight into Gale's stormy eyes. "Gale and I…we're going to have it out. Just the two of us. Right Gale?"

"No, Peeta," Johanna screamed.

"I'll agree in one condition," he demanded. "That Katniss throws her bow and arrow to me before I let them go."

"How will I know that you will keep your words, Gale?" I asked. He was delusional and unreliable to keep his word. I couldn't gamble Katniss and Johanna's life on his word alone.

"I honor my promises, Mellark. Just because I'm from the Seam doesn't mean I know how to keep my promises." The Seam. He was still latching on to the past of the social divide that existed in District 12. There was no Seam or Merchant now. It was his erratic behavior I couldn't trust. His promises meant nothing to me. They were empty but I had no choice but believe him.

"Then, you will swear to me that once Katniss gives you her bow and arrow that you will release them and let them go." Gale nodded his head.

"On Prim's soul, Gale," I added. He turned white as a sheet as I mentioned Prim. His lip trembled for a moment then his face turned stern and hard. Katniss gasped from behind me. "Swear to Katniss' little sister, Prim that you will release Johanna and let Katniss get her away from here. Once they're gone you and I…will settle our difference once and for all."

"I won't agree to this and leave you with him, Peeta," Johanna yelled.

"Shut up, Mason," Gale yelled back at her and pressed the knife onto her neck. The knife nicked her skin, blood dripped from the blade. Johanna winced in pain.

"Stop Gale, don't hurt her anymore," I hollered. "Leave her alone." As blood oozed from the cut, something shiny appeared in my eyes. I fought back an episode as I took three deep breaths. Images bombard my mind of Gale transforming into a mutt dog.

"Peeta, don't do this," Katniss begged me, the fear in her voice knocked back to reality. "I'm not going to leave you alone with him." I gulped back saliva that gathered in my mouth.

"Katniss," I looked at her. She held back tears in her eyes. "Please trust me. I need to do this. This will be over soon."

"Yeah, Catnip," Gale stated. "Once I get rid of him. You're mine."

"I'll never be yours, Gale," she screamed. "I love Peeta." I held her back as she took a step forward drawing her bow and arrow at him. "If you hurt him––"

I grabbed her and wrapped my arms around her waist. "Katniss, baby. Please trust me."

"I can't…I can't let you go," she seethed in anger as she fought her tears from falling.

"I'm not going anywhere. I promise you." Her face was filled with anguished and fear. "Please trust me," I whispered in her ear. She lowered her bow and arrow as her arms wrapped around my neck, squeezing me tight. "This will be over soon."

"Peeta, Peeta," she spoke into my ear, her lips grazing my lobes. "Please don't do this."

"I have to. I want you to go and take Johanna out of here and wait for me."

"Please…" she pleaded with me. I kissed her hard on the lips. I felt her tears soaking her cheeks and my hands as I cupped her face.

"Please I have to do this if I want to keep you safe with me. I won't hurt him."

"I don't care about him," she cried. "I don't want you to do this."

"I have no choice. He'll hurt Johanna if I don't go with him."

"Stop it already," Gale whined. "Let's get this over with already. It makes me sick to my stomach watching you maul her like that." In defiance, Katniss kissed me again, her tongue in my mouth as she forced my lips open. I pulled back reluctantly, our breath hard and fast.

"I love you," I mouthed to her so only she can see. She repeated back.

"I love you, Peeta," she accentuated my name, loud and clear. "Only you."

"Shut up," Gale roared, her announcement raising his rage and fury. "Stop saying that." Johanna heckled him.

"Katniss will never love you the way she loves Peeta."

I looked down to her bow that was rested between us as I whispered, "Remember Cato." Katniss blinked her eyes in confusion. I hope she remembered our encounter with Cato right before she shot his hand in our first arena. I turned to face Gale. "Now release Johanna and let them leave––"

"I'm not leaving," Katniss said as she raised her bow. "If you are going to have it out in the open, so be it. But I'm not leaving you, Peeta."

"Neither am I," Johanna added.

"Shut up all of you," Gale fired back. He took a step back. He was taller than Johanna that her head rested against his chest. She squirmed as Gale tightened his arm around her waist.

"Let her go, Gale," I repeated. My heart beat against my chest as I waited for Katniss to make her move.

"No, I think Johanna and I will take a walk."

"Over my dead body," I said as I took a step forward.

Gale took a step back just as an arrow whizzed past me. The arrow struck Gale by his right arm that held the knife on Johanna's throat. I knew that my hunter wouldn't miss.

"Fuck," Gale roared. He kept his hold on Johanna and they stumbled backwards landing on their back. Johanna quickly got on her feet and stumbled away from him. She located her rifle and aimed it at him.

"Don't you fucking move, Hawthorne," she screamed as I ran forward just in time for Gale to get to his feet. I tackled him by the waist pushing him onto the ground.

"Peeta, move away from him," Katniss yelled, her arrow aimed at us. Gale and I wrestled on the ground for a few seconds both trying to get the upper hand. When I straddled his waist, I yanked the arrow from his arm. Gale howled in pain then threw an uppercut punch with his left hand to my face. The punch fazed me for second causing my body to fly backwards off of him.

Gaining some space and time, he threw his bulky body on to mine. We rolled on the ground for a few seconds. The ground was hard and dusty. Whenever I landed on the ground, I felt the impact of the floor bruise the skin on my back. Gale grunted, his long legs and arms gave him an advantage, but I was an experienced wrestler as I anticipated his move. He pushed me on the ground with his arms around my chest as I'm faced down. I felt his breath on neck. He was hot from our exertion as he panted near my ear. "I'm going to take back what's mine. I'm going to show Katniss how a real man makes love to a woman."

"Never going to happen," I said back. "She loves me, Gale. She'll never let you lay your filthy hands on her."

I reached under me and poked my finger into the hole where the arrow pierced him. It caught him off guard as he cried out in agony as I dug my finger further into the opening. He released me, which gave me enough time to crawl from beneath him and slam his body on the ground. "She doesn't love you, Gale. Not like she loves me." Filled with rage he fought back.

"Peeta get away from him," Johanna instructed. "I don't have a clear shot."

"I don't either. I can't shoot or I'll hit Peeta," she answered back. We twisted and turned on the ground when I finally had Gale on his belly I pulled his right arm behind him. He reached out with his left hand as he spied the knife close to him. He was within reach when Johanna kicked it out of his way. With my left knee on the middle of his lower back, I pressed my leg down. The hard titanium steel kneecap dug onto his skin.

"Shit," Gale yelled as I pressed my fake knee harder. "Get off of me." I pulled his right arm back some more. Blood trickled down to his elbow.

"Stop fighting me and I'll get you go," I told him. I was weak, tired and breathless. "Leave me alone, leave everyone I love alone."

"Fuck you, Mellark," he shouted in pain and frustration. "Get off me." He bucked beneath me trying to dislodge me off of him, but I stayed grounded as I pushed my weight firmer onto his lower back.

"I'll let you go but you will stop fighting me," I ordered him. "This is over, Gale. Do you understand? I'm…we're going back to District 4 and you will be arrested for attempted murder." I resisted the urge to pull his arm out of his socket causing him excruciating pain. The same pain I endured under his hands and Eva's when they had abducted me. I fought against the boiling anger inside me. Images of me wrapping my hands around his neck squeezing the life out of him bombarded my mind. Then I remembered the look in Katniss' face when I attacked her. I still had nightmares invading me in my sleep. I couldn't live with an image of my hands causing someone's death.

"You can't prove anything," he shouted, a sob escaped from his throat.

"I know it was you who injected with venom. You thought the venom would mess my mind and make me forget? I didn't. I had Delly keep the syringe for proof that you injected me. Your prints will on the tube," I listed the facts. "Rory will attest to you attacking him and me.

"Rory would never go against me. I'm his brother." Gale was irrational believing that Rory betrayed him. Now, all of the sudden he's back to being his loyal brother?

"You shot at him a few days ago? He was devastated at your careless disregard for his safety."

"Then he shouldn't be keeping your company," he wailed. "Where's his loyalty to me?"

"He loves you and wants you to get better," I tugged on his arm for emphasis. "You need help, Gale.

"You turned Katniss away from me. You were jealous and stole her from me. I'm better than you," he ranted like a spoiled child who didn't get the birthday gift he wanted. "Catnip?" he called out to her.

"Stop struggling. I don't want to hurt you." Johanna was to my right and Katniss in front me as they hovered near us listening to him. I felt sorry for him. I could tell that Katniss saw the boy she used to hunt with. She felt sorry for him too. Johanna was a different matter.

"I'm going to fucking kill you if it's the last think I do," he threatened me one last time before his body relaxed and stopped struggling against me.

Johanna gripped the rifle in hands, her trigger finger itching for release. "See Johanna over there? Just give her one reason to shoot you and she won't hesitate." I looked over at Katniss; she too was ready with her bow and arrow aimed at him. "They won't hesitate to put you down, Gale. Do you understand?" This felt like a déjà vu when I attacked Katniss again during our raid into the Capitol. Only this time Katniss had her bow aimed at him and I had Johanna by my side.

He nodded his head scrubbing his face on dirt and leaves. "Just get off me already." Our fight would have lasted longer had his strength had not been weakened by drugs and alcohol. The effects from the drug withdrawal weakened him.

I lifted my leg but held onto his arm. "I'm going to let go and you will stand up." As soon as I released him Johanna walked over and butted her gun onto his gut. He doubled over in pain. She took a couple of steps back but aimed her sights on him.

"Johanna," I called out to her.

"He doesn't deserve to live," she spewed with fury. Her neck was bloody as it seeped onto her shirt. I walked over to her and pulled her aside away from Gale who was bent over clutching onto his stomach.

I walked over to Johanna and placed a hand on her bleeding neck. "I'm okay, Peeta," she said. "It's not deep." I sighed in relief.

"Don't move Gale. Stop," Katniss screamed. From behind me, Gale took a step when an arrow pierced his right leg. It didn't' stop him as he was fueled with rage. He continued limping towards us as he raised his hand and stabbed my neck with another needle. I screamed. I felt woozy and hot, my skin crawling with ants as my head spun with shiny lights blinding my vision.

Johanna shot Gale on the chest immobilizing him. I grimaced with pain as the venom entered my blood stream. I fought the image of Katniss turning into a mutt dog with sharp bloody teeth and her eyes red. I filled my mind of Katniss' hair, her lips soft and supple as she kissed me. The way she moved underneath me as I made love to her. It was a temporary relief as the Katniss that I loved was replaced with mutt Katniss who killed my family.

"Katniss, Johanna run," I said through clenched teeth. I placed both hands on my temple as I felt pressure build in my head as I fell onto my knees. "Oh God, please stop…I can't…I don't want to hurt…you." My breath grew erratic. "Not real, not real."

"Peeta, I love you," Katniss repeated over and over. "Please come back to me." My heart ached as she cried for me while Johanna held her at bay.

"I love you too, Katniss." She was the love of my life and my reason for living.

"Peeta, just hold on and let me––" Johanna started but was interrupted.

Gale groaned in pain. The sound awakened images of all the hurt he had caused with everyone I loved. I lost all sense of reality as he turned into a mutt dog in my mind killing everyone, especially Katniss, Johanna and my family. I remembered his laughter and him cheering Eva as she assaulted me. Everything that I wanted to forget exploded in my mind, all the abuse and torture that I had repressed in my subconscious.

I lost my control with rage and fury burning inside me. My world turned red as I ran over to Gale and straddled his body. I hit his face once, twice losing count as my body took over hitting him again and again. His blood splattered all over my hands and shirt. I couldn't stop as I bludgeoned by my fists. Katniss and Johanna's screams resonated in my head as if their voices were underwater. I was too blind with fury to acknowledge them.

Then suddenly, the light in my eyes blurred as I felt pain on the side of my head and my chest imploded. Clearing my vision, I blinked several times to find Katniss and Johanna hovering over me. "Peeta," Katniss' image screamed. I'm tired, poisoned and broken. I wanted all it all to end.

I closed my eyes and found peace and quiet in dark recesses of my mind. I was done and it was finally over.

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_**AN: I want to thank everyone who read this chapter. One more chapter and an epilogue to go. You guys are awesome for hanging on as long as you have. Hope to hear from you on my next adventure with Peeta and Katniss. Have a great weekend.**_


	56. Chapter 56 - Journey's End

Chapter 56 – A Journey's End and New Beginnings

_AN: Wow, thanks to my reviewers [Matainer, Trude, safayi, wonderishome, LACR, IcyPinkLemonade,WhosJazzy, Browniangel, Shannon and guests]. You made my week for all your comments and thoughts. Thanks again. Disclaimer goes here and any mistakes found are mine. On with the show._

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**Johanna POV ––**

It happened so fast that I couldn't believe it was happening. One minute Peeta was looking at my neck in concern and the next I heard his cry of pain as Gale plunged the needle onto his neck. I'll never forget the look in Peeta's face as the needle struck him again. He was deathly calm as a gasp escaped his mouth, but the look of agony and resignation marred his face as if he accepted his fate.

From resignation to anger, the light in his eyes dimmed. Peeta then straddled Gale's waist and bludgeoned his face over and over with his fists. No amount of our yelling and screaming to make him to stop deterred him. It was if he was Capitol Peeta all over again. His behavior actually scared me. Not of him but what was happening to him.

Then suddenly, his body went rigid and he grabbed his chest. Peeta closed his eyes and dropped to the ground next to Gale. He was ashen, body shook like he was seizing as he reached out to Katniss.

"Peeta, Peeta. What's wrong?" Katniss screamed as she knelt beside him. His eyes fluttered a few times then closed. I knew what was happening so I ran over to my backpack and signaled Haymitch on my radio. Our radio silence was over. Gale was finally apprehended and Peeta was poisoned again.

And as if he knew we needed him a hovercraft loomed above us with three Guardsmen repelling down in ropes and armed to the teeth. Accessing the situation, a Guardsman immediately ordered the craft for two gurneys for Peeta and Gale. Meanwhile, Katniss had cradled Peeta's head as she sung to him soft and low for only him to hear. She had tears in her eyes. A medic had attempted to clean my wound but I brushed her away.

"Get Peeta and Katniss into the craft now," I ordered. As the commanding officer of the Guardsmen they did my bidding without contradicting me. I was too scared and angry to shed any tears.

We were all airlifted into the craft and transferred off to District 5. The twenty-minute ride felt like a lifetime as a medic monitored and attended to Peeta and Gale. Katniss stayed with him holding his hand. I hovered over Hawthorne to make sure he wouldn't go anywhere but into my custody as I personally cuffed his hand onto the metallic railing of the gurney. I wanted, no needed to make sure he was quarantined and incarcerated for his crimes against Peeta, Eva and Hayden. He needed to pay for everything he had done to them.

Haymitch and Effie along with Delly greeted us at the rooftop of the hospital. Peeta was immediately taken to emergency while Gale was wheeled next to him. The examination room had an observation deck which Katniss, Haymitch, Delly and I held vigil as they accessed their injuries. I told the doctors and nurses that Peeta had been poisoned with trackerjacker venom as they all looked at me in shock and surprised when they realized whom they had to attend to, Peeta Mellark and the former commanding officer of the Guardsmen. They were two of the most popular and celebrated people in Panem that and along with three Victors and a Reaping Escort. We were quite a spectacle as employees and the public recognized us as we were led into a private section in the hospital. Effie shook her wifely mantle off her shoulders and donned her public persona as our spokesperson. We knew that the news media would get a hold of our presence in District 5 soon enough.

That was a matter I cared less for my concern was Peeta. I couldn't lose him now. Not after surviving the Capitol and President Snow. I was sick and tired of losing people in my life.

Gale had multiple bruises and contusion on his face that he looked unrecognizable. Peeta did a number on him. As for Peeta, the second dosage of venom caused him to have a brain seizure. It was worse than I thought.

I looked at Katniss as she held a hand on the glass panel. Her eyes were red with tears. "He'll be fine, Katniss," Delly assured her.

"I want Kara," she blurted. Out of nowhere her name was mentioned.

"What?" Haymitch blustered.

"Haymitch, have the hospital bring Kara here for Peeta," Katniss ordered. "I don't want any of them touching Peeta. I don't trust anyone. She's his main physician and she is the only one I want taking care of Peeta."

"Katniss, Peeta has the best people working on him," Delly stated.

"I don't know them," Katniss added. "I want Kara." Without a word, Haymitch left the room. Twenty minutes later, a doctor appeared.

"Are you all here for Mr. Mellark?" she started. We responded with a nod. "I'm Doctor Melanie Riordan. Before I can start is there anyone here as Mr. Mellark's medical proxy?" We shook our heads as Delly spoke.

"I'm his personal nurse since his release from the hospital."

"I'm sorry unless he has any relatives or family here, I cannot give any medical information," she lamented. Katniss' face grew grim as I knew her temper and patience was thin.

"Listen," Delly said. "We are his family. If you haven't noticed that that young woman over there is Katniss Everdeen."

Riordan's eyes grew as she took notice of her. "I'm sorry Ms. Everdeen but I thought that…"

"What?" Katniss spat with impatience.

"Oh…um…that you and Mr. Mellark were not together after he betrayed you––"

"I don't have time for this nor do I have to explain my business to you. Peeta and my personal life is no one's business. I'm his wife, you will tell me what you know about Peeta's condition so help me I'll––" Katniss seethed in anger as she stepped forward about to attack Riordan.

"Doctor Riordan, right?" I interjected as she stood between them. "As you can see Ms. Everdeen is very concern with her husband's condition. We––" She pointed to all of us "Can assure you that they married and she has the right to know her husband's conditions." They performed District Seven's marriage ritual unbeknownst to them making Peeta her husband. She had the right to make decisions for him.

"I see," Riordan stated. "Well, the examination produced that Mr. Mellark was injected with 10 ml of a unknown substance we cannot identify."

"It's trackerjacker venom," Delly supplied.

"That's impossible, we heard that all production and supplies were destroyed per President Paylor's request," she said in shock. "How could have Mr. Mellark gotten a hold of that drug."

"Well, he was poisoned," I added.

"Poisoned?"

"By Gale Hawthorne," I informed her. Riordan had a look of shock on her face.

"Why would he do such a horrible think to Mr. Mellark?"

"I can't get into this right now," Katniss told her. "How is he?"

"I have never treated anyone with trackerjacker poisoning. I wouldn't know where to begin? They'll be an inquiry for the use of the illegal drug as well as how he had access."

"Listen, I think in order for you to treat Peeta you'll need his medical history and only his primary doctor can release that and Katniss is the only person allowed to give you his records," I supplied.

Katniss stared at me for a few seconds. She cleared her throat. "I know that you'll do your best to treat him but I feel better if Dr. Kara Templeton is here to treat him. She is his primary doctor and has been treating him back at the Capitol."

"Of course," Riordan complied. "I'll call her––"

"No need," Haymitch interrupted. "She's on her way, Katniss. Kara dropped all her appointments to be here for Peeta." Katniss sighed in relief. "She can be here within the hour. Johanna, as the new commanding officer of the Guardsmen, you can send them to pick her up right now."

After taking a few minutes to confirm the new orders, three Guardsmen were on route to pick up Kara. In the meanwhile, Peeta was wheeled into a private examination room away from Gale. Katniss didn't want to leave him.

"I want to be there with him," she pleaded.

"Katniss, you can't. They'll be tending to him and you'll only get in the way," Delly informed her. "I can't be in there either. They won't let me."

"Why not?" I queried. "You're a nurse."

"Not from this district or hospital. I need permission from the hospital to help Peeta," she exhaled.

"That's stupid, you know more about Peeta's history than any of them," I blurted with disdain.

"It's just how things work. I can't go traipsing in there just because I'm a nurse."

It broke my heart watching Katniss as they injected Peeta with an IV per Kara's instructions. Riordan and Kara took a quick consult while we waited for her arrival.

I stationed two Guardsmen outside Gale's room as he was being treated for his injuries.

The wait seemed to stretch forever as we stood vigil for Kara's arrival. It was a familiar scene when we waited for news about Peeta after his abduction. However, this time the horror and nightmare was finally over. I just wished the outcome were different with Peeta not poisoned again, his health and life in jeopardy.

"What's taking them so long?" Katniss sputtered as she watched a team of doctors attend to Peeta.

"Katniss," Delly started.

"What are they doing standing there?" Katniss screamed at doctors. "If you're not useful get the hell out." Two doctors were in the background reading Peeta's medical history that Kara had sent ahead for them to read. "Why does Peeta have so many doctors? This is not a fucking circus."

"Katniss," Delly addressed her. "They're doing the best they can." A doctor in red scrubs examined Peeta's lifeless eyes as he held a light in his hand. Two nurse attendees were cutting his clothes.

"What are they doing?" Katniss seethed in anger.

"They don't want to move him so they have to cut off his clothes to see if he has other injuries." When Peeta was down to his boxer shorts, a nurse removed his prosthetic leg. I flinched as I looked at his stump. It was swollen and red from knee to hip like he had one large blister. Katniss gasped in shock.

"Oh my God, why didn't he say anything? Oh God, what if he loses the rest of his leg?" She panicked as she stared at the limb.

"Don't think like that Katniss," Delly uttered, her voice soft. She had a pinched look on her face. Me, I wanted to vomit.

"He must have aggravated it during the fight," I suggested. It was more than likely that he was in pain all morning. A nurse took a swab of cotton and applied lotion to his left leg as a doctor was fascinated with the new prosthesis. I recalled Beetee saying that the leg was a new technology not available or known in Panem. Peeta was his guinea pig and the one and only person to have it. The titanium leg was new and wasn't patented. It was far too expensive to have and Peeta had one. It paid to be a Victor and friend to Beetee Latier

"Delly, can you please get his leg before they lose it," Katniss asked.

"Of course, Katniss." We waited just as Delly appeared in the room dressed in scrubs and walked over to the doctor to retrieve the fake leg. As Delly asked the doctor to give her the leg, he shook his head obviously fascinated with it and probably wanted to keep it for further study. Delly pointed to Katniss. His eyes grew big and handed the fake leg without another argument. Katniss had her arms crossed against chest and a deadly look on her face.

"At least, they're taking care of him," I muttered. "Gale has one nurse and doctor taking care of his injuries."

"It's not enough. Peeeta needs Kara."

Delly appeared a moment later handing the leg to Katniss. She cradled it against her chest as if holding it as if she holding onto a piece of him.

"When I told the guy that I wanted the leg. He said that he wanted to exam it for a few hours. I told him no because the wife of the owner of the leg wanted it back right away. He said that I didn't have any authority to take since it needed to be processed and stored for Peeta to reclaim once he was released. He was so smug about it."

"He more likely wanted to keep for himself," I snorted. "I wouldn't put it past him."

"Well, he was adamant about it until I pointed to the wife of the owner who was watching us." Delly stopped and smiled. "You should have heard the words coming from his mouth." I could take a guess. "And I said, I quoted _'try keeping the leg and see what Katniss Everdeen will do to you if I don't come back with it to give back to her.'_ I wished I had a camera." She smothered a laugh behind her hand.

Suddenly, machines monitoring Peeta came on alert. There was a mad rush of orders given when the doctor in red scrubs held a syringe in his hands and before anyone could protest he injected Peeta.

A few seconds later, Peeta shook from the bed, his body convulsing as doctors and nurses held his arms and legs on the bed. "Peeta, oh my God. What did they do? I specifically told them not to treat Peeta until Kara got here." Katniss' words were mixed with anger and fear. She took off before I could detain her. I followed right behind her entering the room with Delly trailing after me.

Katniss pushed the doctor in red scrubs away from Peeta. "What the fuck did you inject him with?" she screamed as she grabbed his shirt then slugged him on the nose. A loud cracked vibrated in the room accompanied with gasp and shouts. "Get away from him."

"Katniss calmed down," Delly said to her as she and I peeled her away from the injured doctor. We held our breath as Peeta continued to seize, his heart rate elevated and his blood pressure dropped.

"Don't touch him," Katniss screamed. It was only a few seconds as Peeta stopped seizing. I exhaled the breath I didn't know I was holding until his vital signs leveled. "Everyone get away from him."

"Everyone please calm down," another doctor said.

"She broke my noise," the doctor in red scrubs complained with his hand cupping his nose as blood dribbled down his face.

"You were instructed not to do anything until his doctor arrived," Delly reprimanded them.

"I was only trying to help," he squealed taking a step backwards as Katniss moved towards him. "I thought––"

"Stop thinking and leave him alone." Delly grabbed Katniss' arm. "Katniss, you and Johanna can't be in here unless you're dressed properly." Katniss' eyes roamed around the room. She spotted a lab coat and dressed herself. "Clean your hands on the sink over in the corner of the room."

Dr. Red Scrubs stepped in front of Katniss. Oh no, not good move since she was on her way to be with Peeta. "I'm sorry Ms. Everdeen, I was only trying to help." He said with sincerity. However, Katniss was impatient and any hurt Peeta endured, she was not a forgiving person as she responded, "You injected him without not so much as knowing how to treat him. He had a seizure because of you. Stay the fuck away from him." He stepped back and left the room. "Peeta," she whispered as she picked up his hand. She flinched.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"His hands are cold. Like as if he's…dead." A sob left her throat as she fought back her tears.

"He's not, Katniss. He's just unconscious," Delly explained further. "The room is a bit cold that's why." She placed a chair next to him for Katniss. "Here you sit next to him while we wait for Kara."

"Thanks Delly," she said, soft but loud enough for us to hear.

"As for everyone else, you need to clear the room," Delly commanded. All hospital personnel looked at her affronted. "I don't care who you and that you work here. You are to not touch Peeta Mellark until his doctor arrives and are given specific orders from her."

"You have no authority here," one nurse mentioned. She was a tall girl with big brown eyes and brown hair.

"Johanna?" Delly said my name. "I believe I don't have to introduce to you Johanna Mason, the commanding officer of the Guardsmen. She will escort you out of the room in a not so polite manner if you do not leave." I straightened my back and folded my arms across my chest making sure they saw my _'best friend'_ holstered on my hip.

"Now, see here," the nurse with brown hair spoke in indignation. Delly stood close to her and spoke into her ear.

"I've seen the way you been touching Peeta during the examination," she said. "Katniss over there has been too distraught over her husband's condition to notice, but I assure you, you'll find out why she's 'The MockingJay' if you continue to _'handle'_ him inappropriately." The nurse looked at Katniss who was rubbing Peeta's hand to provide him warmth and comfort. "Leave."

Dr. Riordan and Kara walked into the room as the staff leaves. "What happened?" Riordan asked.

"Kara, thank God you're here," Katniss sounded in relief.

"One of your doctors injected Peeta with something and he started to have convulsions," Delly informed her. Kara wandered straight to Peeta and checked his eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I specifically told them to monitor his vitals and not do anything until I finished my consult with Dr. Templeton," she winced.

"Well, it's obvious that they don't follow instructions well," I added.

"My apologies it's just that we usually don't have many victors especially one as famous as Mr. Mellark," she said.

"I don't want excuses. It was irresponsible of them to disobey your orders," Delly said with disgust. "His BP was dropping some idiot doctor injected him with something that caused him to have seizures."

"Mr. Mellark was in good––" Riordan started.

"His name is Peeta," Katniss murmured. She looked drawn and tired. "Why isn't he waking up?"

"From my consult with Dr. Templeton, we believe that the venom Peeta was injected with had been altered," she explained. "I just got samples of both Mr. Hawthorne and Peeta's blood and it seemed that Mr. Hawthorne used the engineered version of the trackerjacker venom." Katniss looked stunned.

"What do you mean?"

"We've been getting a few patience overdosing with a new hallucinogen called TJX. Peeta was injected with it," she continued.

"An engineered version?" I asked astonishment laced my voice.

"It's a narcotic used for…recreational purposes, a party drug," Kara supplied.

"The problem with Peeta is that he already been infected with the venom and adding the new drug…well, he's actually in comatose state due to the overdose he received the first time."

"What about his heart?" Katniss asked. Kara took her stethoscope and check his heart.

"It's steady and strong, Katniss," she told her. "You want to listen?" She nodded her head. Katniss had a concentrated look on her face as she listened and pressed her hand right above his heart. "The only thing we can do is wait for the drug to pass through his system."

"For how long?" Delly asked as Katniss replaced the stethoscope and placed her head on his chest. "Can he…is there a possibility that he might have another seizure?"

"Since he didn't respond well to the injection which––"

"What did the doctor inject him with?" Delly inquired.

"After receiving so many cases of overdoses for the past few months, we discovered that injecting one milligram of an anti-TJX serum, the patient recovered from the overdose. It's probably what they injected Peeta with."

"Peeta's case is different so he suffered a seizure in reaction to it," Kara added. "He'll be fine with a few hours of rest and an IV drip." All of us sighed in relief. "So now it's really up to Peeta's body and mind to recover. It's up to him when he's ready to wake up."

"Can I stay with him," Katniss asked.

"You don't have to ask. It's being arranged at this very moment. You can stay with him in our private suite," Riordan stated. "No one will bother you or disturb you, I promise."

Half an hour later, Peeta resided in his new room with a bed for Katniss. Knowing Katniss, the bed was not going to be used, as she will sleep next to him. No hospital rule was going to stop her from sleeping with him. She dressed him with utmost care and tenderness with a pair of light blue pajama set that Effie provided. Effie also brought her a bag of clothes and necessity for Katniss' stay. Out of nowhere, the ache in my chest lifted as I realized the nightmare was over. Gale was in custody and Peeta was safe from him. I felt a knot in my throat as I thought of the numerous months we all suffered because of Gale. I blew a long cleansing breath through my mouth.

"Hey, Johanna are you ready to go back to hotel?" Effie asked. I looked back at Peeta. He was safe and in no danger to be left behind as I stationed a two Guardsmen to guard his room. Katniss was in the bathroom taking the longest shower she deserved. Effie, Haymitch and Delly looked beat and worn out. It was time to head back to the hotel but I had two more things I needed to deal with.

"Why don't all of you head back? There's a matter I have to attended to," I told them. Haymitch's brow furrowed while Effie reached out and grabbed his hand.

Delly hugged me before they exited the room. "Don't stay too long, Johanna," Delly sounded, her voice stern using her nurse mode. "You need to rest. It's been a long week for you."

"You mean a long several months for all of us, Delly," I corrected her.

A few minutes later, I walked down a corridor with a Guardsmen stationed in front of a room. I was startled as he saluted me. It was gesture I have yet to get accustomed to. "At ease private," I ordered. As I stepped inside, the room was dark as the curtains were closed as no sunlight filtered it. I heard a steady beeping sound of a machine that monitored Gale's heart. I was tempted to pull the plug so to speak as I had visions of suffocating his face with a pillow. Then the sound of Peeta's voice invaded my head, '_Aren't you tired of having blood on your hands?'_ I scoffed to myself in annoyance. Having Peeta in my life changed me.

Gale's face was bandaged that you could only see his eyes, mouth and nose. The beating that Peeta gave him was more than he deserved after everything that Gale put him through. It wasn't enough for me. I walked over to his inert form and hovered over his head. "We got you Gale," I whispered to him. "You will never ever hurt Peeta again, nor will you ever hurt anyone. I will make sure of it. I will not rest until you are in prison. I will make sure they throw away the key and your name will be forever remembered as the person who tortured and tried to kill Peeta. You're not a hero, Gale, but a coward and a poor excuse of man who couldn't stand being rejected. Peeta has always been better than you. Your days in the sun are over."

"I'm sorry to disturb you commander," a Guardsman appeared by the doorway. "This was delivered for you." he walked over and handed me a metallic case. When Peeta was being situated in his room, I requested a special ankle bracelet for Gale while he will be treated at the hospital.

"Thank you," I said. He left and stood guard outside the room. I lifted the metallic ankle brace from the case. It was thick but lightweight made of the same material of Peeta's prosthetic leg. I lifted the blanket that covered Gale's legs. Without much thought or hesitation, I placed the band around his ankle as it locked into place with a decisive and loud click. A short hum followed as a small light blinked on. If Gale attempted to remove the brace, a signal would alert the main headquarters back in District 2. I smiled at the irony as I admired the anklet. If the locking mechanism failed or was a tampered with, a small dosage of anesthesia would pierce his skin, disabling him for a few hours in case he tried to escape. Peeta had the same technology but his wristband knocked him out before his episode worsened. Gale's anklet would be a part of his attire for was long as he was incarcerated. Peeta's no longer wore his as he conquered his triggers.

I acquitted the room with a big and satisfying smile on my face. My chest felt light with the knowledge that Gale was soon to be a nonfactor in our lives. It was truly was over. My next destination had me in pins and needles. I didn't understand why. I crept into Alec's room not knowing if he was asleep or not. My heart leapt to my throat as my eyes sought at the sight of him. He was asleep with his hand holding a remote to the TV monitor. His right leg was in a large cast resting on a pillow. I sighed in relief as I didn't know what I would have said had he been awake. I looked at him for a few minutes, really looked at him for the first time in…weeks. I was tempted to reach out and touch his brown hair. I let myself appreciate his presence in my life and his willingness to help Peeta. I felt…I don't know what I felt. I was confused and…scared of the feeling he instilled in me. They were dangerous and unexpected. After a few minutes, I was about to creep out of the room when he slowly opened his eyes. As his big green eyes focused and settled into mine, he had a look in his eyes that surprised and had me blushing like a schoolgirl. I knew that my life was about to change.

* * *

**Delly POV ––**

With a heavy sigh and heart, I walked into Bron's room. He was reading a book when his eyes connected to mine. A small gasp left his mouth as he gazed at my stomach. My belly had grown overnight as a small lump protruded from my tight t-shirt. After arriving home, I took another quick shower to erase the smell of disinfectant from the hospital off my skin. For some reason, my morning sickness stopped today. It was relief. I placed a hand on my belly as if I was shielding my daughter from Bron's gaze and tirade once he started.

A knot grew in my throat. I missed him so much but I wasn't about to let him scream at me again. He had the right to be scared for our baby, but I had made my choice and he had to accept it in order for us to move forward. What's done is done. I just needed to explain to him my motives and the decision I had resolved in my head and in my heart.

"Delly," he addressed me. I frowned as I had expected him to berate me for putting our child in danger. I leaned against the doorway ready to bolt if he started wailing at me like he did yesterday.

"Bron?" I'm startled and suspicious at the look on his face.

"You look beautiful," he said, with awe and adoration tingeing his voice. "How long have you been showing?" I'm puzzled by this question. Oh, he's referring to the bump on my belly.

"Just this morning," I answered him. "It's the weirdest thing, it wasn't even there yesterday." My hand rubbed the bump up and down in soothing manner.

"Is the baby okay?"

"She's fine, Bron," I hinted hoping that he caught the reference to the sex of our baby.

"That's a relief," he sighed. "So she's…" His eyes grew wide. "It's a she? When did you find out?"

"Yesterday," I added. "I was going to tell you before you started…" I sobbed back the tears that I held since I found out the sex of the baby.

"That's…that's…" He was speechless and so happy. I could tell. Then, suddenly his demeanor changed to awareness. I waited with bated breath for the yelling to commence. "I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I'm sorry that I yelled at you yesterday. I was so scared for you and the baby. I shouldn't have started our conversation with me losing control and accusing you of…" My eyes narrowed as he reminded me of his vile accusation. "I know that she's mine and Peeta is your friend."

"Our friend, Bron," I stated. "How could you accuse him and me for that matter. You know how he feels about Katniss." The whole world knew how he felt about her.

"I can't help it," he admitted. "I know you loved him for a long time, but sometimes, I feel like…"

"Like what?"

"Like I can't compete with the history you have with him."

"Bron," I whined as I took a deep breath to prevent myself from losing any semblance of control and my exasperation to surface. I didn't to argue with him. "How many times do I have to tell you that Peeta is in love with Katniss and he's only––"

"See that's the problem," he interjected. "You keep saying that Peeta is in love with Katniss but you never deny that you love him too."

"Of course, I love him," I muttered. "He's…he's Peeta. My childhood friend from District 12."

"So you're still in love with him?"

"Argh, Bron," I blew a long breath through my nose. "Do you honestly think that I would have entered an relationship with you knowing full well that I was in love with him? Yes, I'll admit that I fell for him"

"I see and you've never stopped––"

"Will you stop and listen to me." I stamped my foot on the ground. "A part of me, a small of me will always love Peeta. That Delly knew him as a child and grew up to love him. But after the rebellion, that side of me had to grow up and face a future knowing that he will never love me the way he loves Katniss. You want to talk about competition. I had to compete with his devotion and love for her ever since he admitted it to me.

"Do you have any idea how it felt like to love someone who wanted someone from afar while I was right in front of him?" I wrapped my arms around my waist. "It's painful and disheartening. Humiliating."

"Then why did you hang around him?"

"Because I love him enough to keep our friendship."

"Or maybe you were hoping that he would finally see you and that he would realize that he didn't have a chance with Katniss." I shook my head. I remembered the moment I knew that I would never have a chance with Peeta. He had been sequestered in his room for weeks before I was allowed to visit and attend to him as his nurse. I had hoped that after the war and with Katniss' obvious cold and resentful behavior towards him that he would finally move on. I was wrong. At a weak moment, I leaned over and kissed Peeta right after he had a breakthrough with one of his sessions with Dr. Aurelius. I had meant to kiss his cheek when at the last moment, my lips aimed towards his. He stiffened for second as our lips connected.

* * *

_**Flashback ––**_

_The moment I pulled back from our kiss, I regretted it. Peeta's face was filled with surprise and shock. "Delly?"_

"_I'm sorry Peeta. I shouldn't have done that," I winced as shame and guilt filled me. _

"_It's all right, Delly," he said as he grabbed my hand. "Listen, I love you, you know that right?"_

"_But you're not in love with me," I sighed in aggravation and sadness. "I don't understand. You've admitted that you need to get over Katniss and move on so…why…why was it wrong of me to have kissed you. You knew I've been in love with you since we were kids."_

_Peeta sighed and rubbed a hand through his blond hair. There were many times that I dreamt of running my fingers through his thick blond locks. I remembered the first time I gave him haircut. His hair was golden, thick and soft. It glistened as the sun hit locks, unlike the strands of hair on my head. It was ash blond and rough. It wasn't right for any boy to have hair like his. I envied him._

"_I love you Delly, but you should be loved by someone who can love you wholeheartedly. Not someone…who's been in love with someone else. Not someone whose cannot or couldn't give all of himself to you. You deserved to be loved by someone who's whole and not broken." He averted his eyes. "I know I've decided to move on from Katniss and it'll take me a really long time to get over her. I don't know how long that will be and…I don't want to give you any hope that I'll turn to you, making you wait. It's not fair to you or me."_

"_I can wait if you asked me to, Peeta." I could. I've waited this long, I could wait if he gave me any inkling of hope._

"_I can't, Delly. Right now, it's too soon and more likely I'll never get over her," he sighed, sadness and despair etched his face. "No woman should ever feel like she's second choice. I know how that feels like. I've watched my mother turn love into bitterness and resentment. I won't you let you become my mother and I refuse to be like my father." _

_After that day, we never spoke about the kiss or the conversation we had. Even when he petitioned to live in District 7 to be with Johanna, I knew in my heart that he was right. He would never get over Katniss and my chances with him were nonexistent. I was already dating Bron and I had moved on._

* * *

_**End of Flashback ––**_

My mind wandered to the past that I ignored Bron's rant. "You know that Peeta will always love Katniss and even if they didn't work out, he would have never get over her."

Frustrated, "I know that, Bron," I blew an air of frustration through my mouth. He stated the obvious that we both knew. I closed my eyes and cleared my head so I could formulate the thoughts that swam in my mind. The next few words I needed to say had to clear and precise. There was no going back. "You betrayed me Bron," I started.

"I know that why can't you––"

"Shut up and listen to me,' I interrupted him. This conversation was long overdue. "Your betrayal stemmed from your need get back at me for refusing you over and over while you were in recovery. Your intentions weren't good or honorable but downright childish and petty. I could have forgiven you had you been straightforward with me when you started to fall in love with me. I could have forgiven right away because that's how much I loved you, but your actions involved Peeta." He rolled his eyes.

"You need to stop getting jealous of things that don't exist between Peeta and me." I folded my arms across my chest. "As I was saying, you're betrayal of me I could forgive but your silence caused a lot of damage to Peeta. Had you been open from the beginning, we could have known that it was Gale from the start who was stalking him. He had help from Eva for sure, but he was the instigator."

"I was scared to tell you. I didn't want to lose you," he confessed. Tears tracked down his face. I wanted to reach out to comfort him but I needed to focus.

"Your betrayal and association with Gale not only affected Peeta and me but Katniss, Haymitch and everyone who's in his life." I knew I was harsh but it was the reality. His betrayal stung like a bee that left his poison in your system. It was hard to recover and shake off. Now, my trust for him was shattered.

"Can you ever forgive me?" He had a look of hope and longing in his eyes. I almost gave in to his plea.

"I've forgiven you a long time ago, Bron," I said with finality. "I had to for the sake of our child." I wanted him in our daughter's life.

"What about you? Do you still want me in your life?"

"I really don't have a choice in the matter. I won't deny our daughter a relationship with her father, but as for me. Only time will tell. For now, the only thing I can focus on is making sure that this baby is healthy when she makes an appearance. I'm too hormonal and unbalanced emotionally to make a decision about us."

"So there's still a chance?"

"I can't positively answer that. I can't think straight. One minute I'm so angry with you the next…all I want to do is take you in my arms and…let you back in my heart, but I can't. I need to make sure that I'm going back to you for the right reason, and not because we have a child between us. It's not fair to the both of us and especially for our daughter."

Bron wiped the last tears from his eyes and straighten himself. His hair was spiked and unruly like it always appeared when he woke up. He fidgeted with his hands. His eyes pointed downward onto his lap. He wasn't ghostly pale as his skin returned to a healthy glow. I missed touching him. "So what happens now?"

I sighed, "We go back home to District 12 and take it one day at a time. It's all I can offer."

"Okay, Delly," he agreed. "Can you…will you let me hold you for a while? Please?" With his puppy eyes, I couldn't resist him any longer. I took off my sandals and sat next to him. Feeling awkward and shy, I leaned against him. He encased his long arm around my shoulders. I sighed in contentment and ease since I haven't felt this safe for a long time. The weight in my chest lifted.

"I'm really sorry Delly," he promised me. "I'm going to do what it takes to earn back your trust and love." His words comforted me.

"I can't make any promises, Bron," I said to him. "But I can promise you that we will be okay. We need time." I couldn't promise that I would take him back or give him a second chance. But I knew for the sake of our child, we would be parents together raising our daughter in the new world that we fought hard to survive. Our daughter would reap the benefits from all those who sacrificed their lives to achieve peace in Panem.

* * *

**Katniss POV ––**

My eyes fluttered open as I felt Peeta's soft breath graze my face. With my head perched on the crook his neck, I counted the soft steady tempo of his heartbeat beneath my hand. It has been three long days since our arrival at the hospital. Three long painful and heartbreaking days of watching him sleep with no progress or any sign that he would wake up on his own. There was nothing the doctors could do but watch, wait and stabilize his vitals.

"Both his body and mind need to heal, Katniss," Kara explained. "This is the way his body is responding from all the stress and trauma he experienced. You should take the time to do the same. He wasn't the only one traumatized." True, but Peeta suffered the worst of it.

"Can he be stuck like this…forever?" I asked. I couldn't stand it if he chose to live in his mind and not wake up. He couldn't leave me here alone without him.

"He's not brain damaged, but his brain was affected by the narcotic."

"Do have any idea how long he'll be comatose?"

"I don't know. We won't know as long as the drug and venom is still in his system," Kara diagnosed. She had begun to transfuse his blood like his treatment in the Capitol hoping it would help. We all crossed our fingers.

The nightmares returned with a vengeance as I dreamt of Gale killing Peeta. I would awaken gasping for breath as I reached out for him in our bed. After calming my heart, I placed my head on his heart letting the thumping sound calm me. I wouldn't feel completely safe until we were back at our home in District 12.

A few hours later, Kara announced that Peeta was no longer comatose but sleeping. Kara was concerned that for as long he was comatose, his body would shut down little by little. My heart leapt for joy.

A ray of hope was dashed when a few hours later Peeta opened his eyes for second then closed before I had a chance to alert the staff. It was momentary, discouraging me as he went back to sleep.

There were times when he muttered my name in a whisper with such tenderness that my heart ached for him. At least he was healthy and his heart wasn't weakened or damaged by the seizures and second dosage of TJX that Gale injected him with.

Gale. His name and existence grated me. Just the mere thought of him, raised my blood pressure as my emotions ranged from anger, frustration and sadness. After all that was said and done, Peeta was right that I'd regret spilling Gale's blood in my hands. His death would haunt me forever as I added his life to the countless lives I killed during the games and the rebellion. What could I say to Hazelle, Rosy and Vick once they discovered that it was me who killed him? My relationship with the Hawthorne family would be ruined forever. Rory and Peeta sought to help him and not end his life. After a time, I was resolved to forgive him for helping Beetee design the bomb that eventually killed my beloved sister, Prim. However, I could never forgive Gale for what he had purposely done to Peeta.

Prim chose to be there in the thick of battle and there was nothing I could have done to stop her. She was as stubborn and proud as me. I was there to kill people while Prim stuck her neck out for the injured whether they were Peacekeepers or rebels. It might as well have been my arrow that had ultimately ended her life. I chose to be the MockingJay and she followed me just like thousands of people who I led to their death. It was something I had to live with for the rest of my life. Thank God for Peeta to remind me that life was precious even if it was Gale's.

By the fourth day I'm disheartened at Peeta not returning to me. Both Delly and Johanna had tempted to relieve me from my vigil. I was adamant of staying incase he woke up without me at his side. Then, Kara visited on the fifth day while Peeta remained sleeping.

"Why is he sleeping so much?" I inquired.

"His body and mind is recovering from all the sleep he's missed for the past few months. With everything he's been through stress is the factor that can shut down body functions. Your brainwaves and vital organs are affected. It's all right that he getting back all the sleep and rest he needs."

"I can only sleep when he's besides me," I admitted.

"I think it's time for us to make a decision," she started. I was startled at her statement.

"What do you mean?" I asked with trepidation lacing my heart.

"Peeta can't stay here. So I think it's time we moved him," she continued. "Maybe he'll recover if he's in a familiar environment like back to District 12."

"In a hospital?" I hoped against hope she meant our home at the Victor's Village. I couldn't bear to have Peeta surrounded by another hospital room even if it was at 12. I would live with him there if necessary. Damn hospital rules, they wouldn't dare separate us. I wouldn't let them.

"When I said a more familiar surroundings I meant your home, Katniss," she spoke with sympathy and understanding. I released a deep breath. "He's in a deep sleep now. It would be best that he woke up in his own bed, don't you think?"

"When can we leave?"

"As soon as Haymitch finalizes all the arrangements." She smiled.

"So he knows your plans for Peeta?"

"He's making the arrangements as we speak." I sobbed in joy as I pulled Kara into my arms for a tight hug.

"Thank you, thank you. I couldn't bear having Peeta here any longer. You're right, maybe he'll recover in a familiar place like our house." Our house. It was music to my ears. I was taking Peeta to our home and our bed. I would count the minutes until we're safely back in 12 and in our home.

An hour later, Delly walked in with a basin filled with water and a sponge. "It's time for Peeta's sponge bath, Katniss," she announced as she placed the washbasin on top of drawer next to him. The first time she walked in with basin she attempted to give my boyfriend a bath right in front of me. I only had to cross my arms at Delly as she knew not to argue with me. She just shrugged her shoulders and walked out the room.

Before closing the door behind her she spoke, "Have fun or at least try not to molest him while you're bathing him." She teased me as she winked and locked the door behind her. I blushed then scowled. I've seen and touched Peeta everywhere. So why was this different? Because he's comatose and it felt like I was molesting him as I ran my hand up his muscled chest down to his belly button. Did I mention that I had taken off his shirt since the windows were welded shut.? It was hospital policy not to tamper with the room's temperature. So I took off his pajamas top much to my chagrin.

'_Poor me, having to touch and bath my half naked boyfriend was such a chore,'_ I snickered to myself. It was a crime to be that sexy even comatose. I checked my libido back into place and washed him like a good nurse should.

Hours ticked by as I waited for Peeta to be permitted to leave. Haymitch and Effie walked into his room. There was a look on his face I couldn't decipher. "What's wrong, please don't tell you Peeta can't leave today?" I didn't want him to stay here longer than he had to.

"I've made all the arrangements and as soon as Paylor approves Johanna's request to take a hovercraft back to 12. We can leave as soon as possible."

"So what's the problem?" Taking the hovercraft would mean we'd home in hours in instead of days. Haymitch looked at Effie. "What?" My patience was tested, as I couldn't handle a delay.

"It's Gale," Effie said.

"What about him?" I spat in disgust.

"He wants to see you," Haymitch delivered the blow. What? What the fuck for? I never wanted to see him again. I knew I would in the near future to testify against him but right now was too soon. My anger was raw and deep. I needed time and distance to calm myself.

"I don't want to see or talk to him," I seethed in anger. "There's in nothing in the world that could convince me to see or talk to him."

"He's been on a hunger strike for the past three days, Katniss. When he asked to speak to a couple of days ago, he started the hunger strike and hasn't eaten since." My eyes grew wide as I burst into laughter. He was in a hunger strike. I chuckled at the irony of it all. Gale and our families starved for years and he resorted to a hunger strike to catch my attention. How…childish. "He can starve for all I care. How dare he think he can manipulate me like that after everything he put Peeta through?"

"Katniss," Haymitch sighed.

"Do it for Peeta, if not for yourself. You know that he'd want you to do that at least to give you closure. Then, after you've spoken to him, you'll never have to see or talk to Gale ever again," Effie sounded with logic and concern.

'_Now who's manipulating whom, Effie,'_ my mind wandered. It was a trick using Peeta but it worked. "Okay?"

"Okay?" Haymitch sounded in disbelief. "You'll talk to Gale before we leave? Just like that?"

"Yes, and only in one condition," I requested. "That you will be with me in the room when I go to see him."

"Um…why would you want me there?" Haymitch blubbered. "What if he gets too personal for me to hear?"

"I have no secrets with him. Everything I know, Peeta knows," I justified my request. "Please Haymitch. I can't be in there alone with him."

"Of course, he'll go with you, Katniss. Won't you Haymitch?" Effie blurted.

"I really need you to be there just in case…" I stuttered. The thought of seeing him was daunting. My heartbeat accelerated in my chest as if it was ready to implode. I grabbed Peeta's inert hand to calm and soothe me.

"You're tempted to…wring his neck," Haymitch finished. "Just do me a favor. Make sure I'm nowhere near him in case _I_ want to strangle him myself."

"When am I going to see him?"

"Right now if you want," Haymitch informed me.

"Yeah, it's best that I see him sooner than later," I bent down and kissed Peeta's cool lips lingering there for a second or two. I hoped to awaken him but…it was foolish thought. I leaned over to his ear. "I'll be right back, honey. I won't take too long. Don't wake up without me here beside you." I kissed his forehead. "I love you."

I turned to Effie. "Effie, can you please stay with him until I come back. I don't," I sniffled. "I don't want him to wake up alone."

"Of course, Katniss." She hugged me goodbye. I took one last look at my boyfriend then clicked the door behind me as I followed Haymitch out of the hospital.

I had a difficult time tearing myself away from him. Each step I took and mile I gained away from him tore at my heart. I knew he was safe with Effie, but there was still the news media and sick fans who knew that he was residing in the hospital. It was a media circus as Haymitch wrapped an arm around my shoulder and escorted me into a hovercar amidst a crowd of onlookers, reporters and video cameras. It was worse than ever. We were pelted with questions about Peeta health and the rumors of his illness. No one knew why he was there since the hospital was able to keep his condition a secret. The speculation and rumors where rampant. I tuned out everything and everyone out and thought of my Boy with the Bread who I left to confront his assailant, my ex-best childhood friend.

It was time I put my history and relationship with Gale to rest.

The ride to facility was long as the hovercar travelled to District 2. In the car, I shook with anticipation. Gale was housed in a health facility for mentally unstable patients. When Johanna found out the lack of security it offered, she stationed four Guardsmen to ensure that Gale would not escape. The facility was not what I expected. From the outside it appeared to be like any other building in the block. However, once inside, Haymitch and I were smothered with the smell of disinfectant and ammonia. It overwhelmed my senses.

A man wearing a white uniform escorted us. The facility name was stitched onto his shirt but I ignored it. I wanted in and out of the building as fast as possible. I caught two Guardsmen roaming the hallway on the way to Gale's room while the other two stationed at his door. Johann made certain that no one except the facility's personnel was allowed into his room. No guests or family was allowed to see him. Not that it matter since Rory was just relieved to have his brother back alive. He wasn't going to see him anytime soon so he took the train home to District 12 to visit his family with Johanna's consent, of course.

The male nurse slipped a metallic card into the lock and the door slid opened.

Gale was seated on his bed on top of the covers. The bandages were removed from his face revealing his bruised and shattered cheekbones. Both eyes were surrounded by purple and blue discoloration on his skin. His face was swollen and he had stitches on his upper and lower lips. He was a mess. With the help of Capitol medicine he looked better than I anticipated.

There was irony written all over this situation. I remembered my fear and anger as I visited Peeta who had requested to see me in District 13. This time it was Gale. I noticed an ankle bracelet on his left leg. Even Peeta at his worse never sported one. Albeit he wore a wristband to help him when he was triggered. He never sought to harm anyone even when he was deep inside his hijacked mind.

"Catnip," he whispered my name. I flinched at the tenderness in his tone.

"Katniss," I corrected him. He stared back at me with his eyes wide. "I haven't been Catnip for a long time."

"You'll always be Catnip to me." I averted my eyes as I watched Haymitch seated at a chair behind me. "Haymitch can you leave us alone? I need to talk to Katniss."

"No, you want to talk to me. He stays or else I'll leave." Haymitch stretched both his legs out in emphasis as he leaned back with his hands behind his head.

"Please don't make this harder than it has to be."

I snorted. "Why should I make it easy for you, Gale?"

"You're still my best friend Katniss." I'm stunned at his presumption. "I still care about you. I still lo––" Haymitch scoffed from behind me.

"Some best friend you are."

"Stop!" I interrupted Gale. I couldn't stomach his declaration of love for me. It was sickening.

"This is a private conversation Haymitch." Haymitch responded by placing a hand over his mouth. "Stay out of it," Gale directed to him.

"Don't mind me, I'm silent and invisible," he quipped by zipping lips together with his fingertips.

"What do you want from me?" I demanded. My ire grew with impatience. I needed to be back in the hospital. What if Peeta woke up without me there? Would he see the lack of my presence as abandonment?

"I…I… I'm sorry for the hurt I've caused you." _What?_ The hurt he caused _me_? What about Peeta? "I wasn't myself," he continued. "I didn't take being rejected from you well and I…medicated myself––"

"So you wanted to see me so you can apologize for hurting _me_?" I asked in disbelief. "What about the pain and hurt you caused on Peeta, Hayden and Eva?"

"I wasn't thinking straight," he explained. "Once I started taking the drugs I couldn't stop. You were the only person that mattered to me." Unbelievable, he had excuses for his behavior not taking responsibility for his actions. "I couldn't see anyone else but you."

I closed my eyes to control the anger that burned inside me. "Katniss, I need you to forgive me. I know I hurt Peeta but I wasn't myself and I was so angry with him for taking you away from me."

"Now, that's where you made the first mistake. You assumed that he took me away from you," I expressed with vehemence. "He didn't take me away from you if I was never yours to begin with."

"You were mine before he came alone. The reaping changed you. He turned you against me."

"I didn't belong to anyone not even Peeta before or after I was reaped. And…he didn't turn me against you. You did that on you own." I didn't know how much more I could emphasize my point.

"I know you love me."

"I loved you like a brother, someone who supported and helped me survive back in District 12," I explained again. "How many more times do I have to tell you that I, Katniss Everdeen am in love with Peeta Mellark and not you Gale?"

"I refuse to believe it." He shook his head in denial. "You need time. You'll see in time, that your feelings for him is just a big crush for someone who had been infatuated with you since he was five. Who believes that kind of shit? He's been in love with you since he was five?" I was tired of us going around in circles. Gale would never accept my love and devotion to Peeta. That my love for Peeta was real, strong and true. There was no one else in the world but him for me.

"Listen, Gale," I started. "My whole world was turned upside down the moment I volunteered for…my sister who meant more to me than anyone in my life. I'm grateful for years we hunted together because of you I was able to provide for my family. But after being reaped and participating in the games, I was never the same. I hoped, forced myself to believe that my first arena didn't change me. But it did."

"And saving Peeta was your first mistake." I ignored him jab at Peeta. "He was a responsibility you shouldn't have shouldered."

I took a deep breath and pressed on, "I had feelings for him since we were…eleven." Gale looked startled at my revelation. "Peeta saved me, gave me hope but I denied whatever feelings I had for him because I only wanted to concentrate on Prim."

"You're lying."

"When got reaped with me, the first thing that I thought was, 'Oh, God not him. Not the Boy with the Bread.' I hardened my heart knowing that in order for me to get back to Prim, I would have to kill him. But deep inside I was already having feelings for him. I didn't want to face so I avoided and denied it."

"You never mentioned him while we were hunting together."

"And why would I? You didn't have the right to know the inner workings of my heart and mind, Gale. My feelings are mine alone. Even Prim never knew though I think she suspected my feelings for Peeta." Gale's face turned from disbelief to disgust. I could see the tendon on his neck, which was a sign that his anger was brewing.

"You should have said something, we shared everything together," he said in derision. I'm perplexed by his delusion that we shared _'everything'_ together. We were hunting companions and best friends helping each other to provide for our families. Nothing more, nothing less. "You're lying to me."

"Why would I lie, Gale? You were only a brother to me."

"You love me, I know you do. Once I get you away from Peeta's influence you'll realized that you've loved me all along." He stood up from off the bed.

"Hawthorne, settle down," Haymitch threatened him as he stood up and walked over to Gale.

"Mind your own business old man," he returned. His eyes were unfocused as he stood on shaky legs. "This is between me and Catnip."

"Sit back down, Gale," Haymitch commanded as he pushed him back on the bed. He landed with a loud thump on the mattress. "And stay down or I'll take great pleasure in finishing what Peeta started."

"He cheated. I was weak from…" he looked at Katniss.

"From what Gale?" I asked him daring to admit his drug addiction. He blamed everyone and his addiction but himself.

"Peeta can beat your sorry ass anytime, anywhere," Haymitch taunted him as he stood beside me. I was glad that I made Haymitch stay with me. I was tired emotionally and physically needing to end this visit so I could be back to Peeta.

"I'd like to see him try," Gale challenged back.

"He already did seeing that you're in the hospital with the bruises and cracked cheek bone to show for it," I reminded him.

"He got lucky."

"If anyone cheated it was you after you injected him twice," I said. Gale sat back and sighed. "It wasn't a fair fight to begin with. You need help."

"I'm sick, Catnip," he admitted thinking he knew my weakness for him. He was right that I kissed him twice when he was in pain. I felt sorry for him. Now I couldn't stand to be near him. He made my skin crawl. "I need you," he said with puppy eyes. It worked once, never again. The Gale I saw in front of me was not the same boy I hunted with. He was seduced with trappings and all the accolades the Capitol offered him, the drugs, opulence and power he had in his fingertips. He wasted his life with his obsession with Peeta.

I never knew the side of him that hated with ease and disregarded lives discriminately. In my ignorance, I guess I too denied and overlooked that part of him like I dismissed Peeta's feelings for me. I've done them harm by toying with their affections for me.

"I'm glad you can admit that," I told him. "You're family needs you to get better for their sake and…you need to pay for the lives you destroyed and ruined."

"Can you ever forgive me…for Prim?" he asked. "I never meant for her to die because of me." Her death still broke my heart. It was a pain I'll never recover from. Had Gale succeeded in killing Peeta, I knew my life was over and I would ravage Panem to avenge his death.

Maybe in time I would have forgiven him but he went after Peeta and _that_ I could never forgive him for. He meant to hurt him, kill him.

"What about Peeta? Will you ask for his forgiveness?"

Gale remained quiet and had a look of disgust on his face. Haymitch shook his head in disbelief.

"This was a waste of time, Katniss," he muttered. "He doesn't think he did anything wrong." Haymitch was right. There was no shame, guilt or remorse coming from Gale.

"No, then no, Gale," I sounded firm and resolute. "You should never ask me for forgiveness Gale for I shall never give it to you. You don't deserve it. For as long as you don't recognize the pain and suffering you inflicted on Peeta, you will never have my forgiveness."

"Catnip, please," he implored as he extended his hand out to me. I flinched and took a step back.

"We're done, Gale. I'm done." I felt relieved knowing that I could close this chapter in my life. "There is nothing you could do or say. I love Peeta. You and I were never meant to be. I should have told you a long time ago. Whatever fantasy you dreamt of us having a life together will never happen. I don't love you that way. I never had."

Had I never met Peeta the life Gale wanted for us would have never come to fruition. I never wanted to fall in love, get married and have children before I was reaped. Had I married Gale it would have been for survival and never about love. My heart wouldn't have allowed it. Our life together would have consisted of a loveless marriage and produced no children. I loved Gale but I wasn't in love with him. I would have settled. He would have wanted more than I could offer and he would have resented me for it. We would have been miserable together.

I was fated to be with Peeta with or without the reaping.

"I love you," he said, his eyes pleading for forgiveness. "I'll never love anyone but you." Before he could take another step, three men and a male doctor walked into his room.

"I'm sorry but this visit will have to be cut short," he announced. The man was in his mid-forties and had a no nonsense disposition. He meant business and seemed like a person who wouldn't fall for Gale's charm. "It's time for Mr. Hawthorne's treatment."

"Wait, I'm not done talking to Catnip," he whined as he stood up. He was frantic and angry as the three men held him back.

"Guess the party's over. It's time to go Katniss," Haymitch declared as he placed a hand on my elbow and escorted out of the room. I turned away and walked out the room without so much as a goodbye. The sight of my back was all he needed to see.

"Stop, I'm not done talking to Catnip," I heard Gale's voice echo in the corridor. "Let go of me, damnit. Catnip wait. Come back. We're not done. You owe me…" His voice trailed off as we stepped into the elevator. His screams reverberated throughout the floor. My back hit the wall behind me.

"Are you okay, Katniss?" Haymitch queried with a look of concern on his face.

"I want to get out of here and get back to Peeta." Haymitch took me in his arms. There was a weight in my chest that could only be alleviated once I was back with Peeta. Seeing drug addict Gale restrained was the last image I wanted to haunt me. I'll remember the boy who I hunted with, that was who I will remember.

The trip back to the hospital felt longer than the ride over to District 2. It was agony being away from Peeta not knowing if he had awakened without me. With a clear conscience and lighter heart, talking to Gale gave me the closure I needed. Now all I wanted was to go get Peeta and take him home. The icing on the cake would be to have Peeta awake and starting our life together. I smiled at the thought.

My stomach grumbled realizing that I skipped breakfast. For the past four days, Effie or Delly would visit Peeta and I bringing food for lunch or dinner. It was welcome reprieve from eating the hospital food. They were designed to be nutritious but not appetizing. It didn't matter since my only concern was about Peeta waking up.

My feet carried me back to the hospital and into Peeta's room. Inside Johanna, Delly and Effie stood vigil to my comatose boyfriend. I wasn't surprised they were there.

Johanna was first to approach me. "Katniss, are you okay?" she asked. There was some thing different about her as I took in her appearance. Her eyes were soft and there was a calm aura around her, like as if she was at peace with herself. Even Delly was serene as she wore her typical ensemble, which consisted of her favorite pink floral blouse and skirt. She was back to the Delly I remembered in District 12. Everything and everyone was back to normal with the exception of Peeta.

"I'm fine, Johanna," I answered with as much honesty I could muster. My confrontation with Gale drained me. Otherwise, I was fine physically. "Were you able to get permission from President Paylor for the hovercraft to take us home today?"

Johanna chuckled. "It's upstairs waiting of us." I sighed in relief. We were going home to day. "Remember it'll drop us off at District 11 then we'll take a private train to 12."

"We'll be home at 12 noon. Meanwhile, we'll have breakfast first before departing," Effie announced our schedule. And like clockwork, food arrived catered in from Effie' favorite restaurant. During breakfast an administrator walked in with a datapad.

"Excuse for interrupting your meal," she said as she eyed our array of dishes with envy. Effie catered in eggs, bacon, blueberry or chocolate pancakes, bacon with a pot of coffee and tea. It smelled delicious. "I need Ms. Cartwright to sign off this form before she leaves." Delly placed her signature and thumbprint on the tablet. "I'll make a copy for you and include it with all the instructions and medication Peeta will need."

Paperwork was something I had no patient or interest in but I noticed Peeta's name and laundry lists of items on pad. Curious, I asked Delly what she had signed off for.

"The usual things Peeta needs to make him comfortable at your home," she started. "I'm responsible for any medical equipment he needs, a list of medication and that I'm his assigned nurse."

"Why do you need permission to attend to Peeta if you're officially his nurse in District 12?" Johanna asked. It didn't make sense to me either. She's a nurse.

"I'm responsible for Peeta since he's being released under my care. Or else, someone else would be assigned to him." I scowled at the thought that another woman would attend to him besides Delly. I trusted Delly as his nurse. I didn't want a stranger in our home. "It's just a formality. Administrators need the paperwork to look busy."

We accompanied Peeta to the rooftop as he was wheeled on a gurney. I thought about dressing him with regular clothes for our trip, but debated against it. Once home, I would have to stripped it off of him and redress back in his pajamas.

I was surprised to see Rory still garbed in his uniform carrying a rifle standing by the hovercraft. "Rory?"

"Hello, Katniss," he said, his voice in a weary and sad monotone.

"I thought you were home visiting your family?"

"I was but…I wanted to be here to escort everyone back to 12," he proclaimed. I sent a questioning look back to Johanna. She shrugged her shoulders.

"He asked and I didn't think you would mind." She answered but I sensed that her mind was elsewhere. Suddenly, both Bron and Alec appeared as two nurses pushed their wheelchairs towards us. Alec's eyes were glued to Johanna just as Bron was to Delly. Johanna sent a soft smile to Alec who returned the gesture. The tension between Delly and Bron was thick and uncomfortable.

The trip to 11 was quiet as everyone was reflecting the reality that Peeta's nightmare was over. We had survived unscathed except for Peeta. I stuck close to him as I clutched onto his cold hand for comfort. We're finally going home.

As expected, the news media and reporters were congregated in District 11 waiting for us. They pelted me with questions.

"Is it true that you're engaged is on again?"

"Why aren't you wearing your engagement ring?

"Has Peeta suffered another attack?"

"Where is Gale Hawthorne?"

"Is it true that Peeta had another episode and attacked you? The last question threw me? I could hear Johanna and Rory telling people to back off.

"Leave us alone," I yelled back at them. When we boarded the train, I sighed in relief. We were safely secured in the car as I counted the moments for our arrival to District 12.

The train ride from 11 to 12 was just as somber with everyone happy to be back home. Johanna sat next to Alec as they both peered out a window. Delly took a nap with Bron reading a book next to her. As for Haymitch and Effie, with Peeta out of danger our newlyweds were locked in an embrace as they were seated in a lounge chair that was too small for the both of them to be seated together. They were adorable as Haymitch snuck in a kiss or two when they thought no one was looking. I sat next to Peeta with his hand in my mine.

To our surprise a crowd of people were bunched together at the platform. It reminded me of our homecoming from our first arena. In front were Greasy Sae, Tamryn and Thom. They were a sight for sore eyes.

One by one we disembarked off the train. As Peeta was wheeled off the car, thunderous sounds of clapping and shouts filled the air. It was a homecoming we hadn't expected.

"Wow, did you know they would all be here to greet us, Haymitch?" I asked my former mentor. He had a big smile on his face. It was look I rarely witnessed. He shook his head.

"This was unexpected," Haymitch added. The last time anyone of us came home there was no fanfare or crowd to greet us. We just sneaked back to 12 like thieves in the night.

Johanna pushed Alec's wheelchair forward as did Delly with Bron. The crowd parted to let them through.

"Peeta, Katniss," Tamryn yelled as she rushed over to greet us. Both she and her grandmother gave me a quick hug. Haymitch greeted Thom with a firm handshake.

"Welcome home Haymitch, Effie." Thom greeted them.

"It's good to see you child," Sae said to me. She looked sad as her eyes wandered to Peeta lying on the gurney.

"What happened to Peeta?" Tamryn cried out. She held a bouquet of flowers in one hand and a drawing with the other.

"He's sick and he's sleeping right now," I explained. Peeta's condition was too complicated to explain to her.

"Can I come back to your house to visit? I promise to be quiet," she asked. I nodded my head as I took her little hand into mine.

"I think Peeta would like that."

A hand touched the top of my shoulder. I turned to see Hazelle with a look of sorrow and pain in her face. "Hello, Katniss," she said.

"Hazelle?" She wrapped her arms around me hugging me tight then pulled back from her embrace.

"I'm sorry," she stated. "I…Rory told me what happened. He told me everything."

"Hazelle, please don't apologize." Seeing Gale's mom broke my heart. I was glad that Peeta convinced me to spare his life. This was what he predicted had I not listened to him. A mother's love for her son doesn't change even when the son became a monster. No matter how Gale treated Peeta almost killing him, he was still her son.

"I can't tell how sorry I am––" There was anger, humiliation and shame on her face. She was brave to seek me out amongst the crowd of onlookers.

"It's all right Hazelle," I assured her. She didn't deserve my hate for her son's reprehensible behavior. "I just want to take Peeta home. We'll talk later." She nodded her head and walked away before sending a glance to Rory.

The crowd parted as I held Peeta's hand on my left and Tamryn on my right. Effie and Haymitch were in front of us while Rory and Sae was behind us. It felt good to be home.

Two days later, I walked down the stairs to find Sae and Tamryn in the kitchen. Since arriving back to the house, they were frequent visitors providing lunch and dinner for me and for everyone else. She was a godsend.

"Why don't you take a walk this morning? It's beautiful day," she suggested. I thought about it. It was a glorious day with the sun shining and the birds singing. But an idea crossed my mind. "I'll be right back."

With both Bron and Alec disabled, I recruited Delly and Johanna to help me transport Peeta to my favorite place in District 12. Haymitch and Effie locked themselves inside his home. We didn't want to bother the newlyweds. They would come up for air eventually.

An hour later with Delly and Johanna behind me carrying a picnic basket and a large blanket, I pushed a sleeping Peeta in his wheelchair to my meadow, my place of sanctuary.

We gently placed Peeta on the blanket. "Katniss, this place is so beautiful," Delly commented. "It so isolated but not so far from the Victor's Village." Johanna immersed herself to sights, sounds and smell surrounding us.

"This place is sacred to me," I told them as I lay next to Peeta laying my head on his chest. "I want Peeta to wake up here." I tuned them out after that as I sat up on my elbow and reached over to brush his golden locks between my fingers. Today, I shaved his face for the first time. His skin was smooth and soft. I was so engrossed at feeling his skin that I didn't notice that Delly and Johanna had left us alone. With just the two of us in the middle for the meadow, I felt a surge of joy, love, and sadness.

I lay my head back down onto the crook of his neck, snuggling my body into position. We were two interlocking pieces of a puzzle that fit so well together.

"You know me, Peeta," I started. "I've never been very good with words, not like you." I sighed as I felt the rise and fall of his chest beneath my hands. "It really took a long time to get here in this moment and it's mostly my fault. I know, I know I have to stop beating myself for being so stubborn and for resisting you for as long as I did. But you loved that about me, didn't you?" I giggled to myself. I played with the buttons of his shirt. He smelled of lavender. It gave me great pleasure bathing him with my favorite soap.

"I feel silly talking to you when…you can't really hear me, but Kara said you'll wake up when you're ready. So I'll wait like you waited for me. It's the least I can do. You can't help it that you're mind is recovering from everything you've been through. Just don't sleep too long because I really miss you."

Argh, I can't do this, I can't stand just hearing my voice. I missed Peeta's, his voice low and sultry. I missed the timber of his voice when he whispered in my ear as he made love to me, the way his tone changed when he tells me he loves me or how soothing and calm his voice made me feel after a nightmare.

With my head planted securely on his chest, I sang to him. It had been the first time I serenaded him when we were alone and not in any danger or surrounded my people. I never thought I'd ever sing again after losing my father then losing Prim. Suddenly, a pair of MockingJays sung back in harmony. I sat up and listened enjoying the rare moment of not only one, but also two singing to me. When the duet was over, the meadow was in complete silence.

I looked down at my sleeping boyfriend wishing he had shared that moment with me when I realized his eyes were open and staring back at me. We shared a look of love, awe and adoration between us. I reached down and placed a hand over his heart.

"Peeta," I said his name in a whisper. "You're awake?"

"Hi," he answered back, his voice raspy and coarse.

"Peeta, I missed you," I gasped as I leaned down kissed him once then twice. "I missed you so much." Stealing his breath as my mouth devoured his lips.

"Katniss," his voice croaked after I let him breath after kissing him for a few minutes. "Is this a dream? Is this real or not real?"

"No Peeta it's real, this isn't a dream." I smiled at him while I placed a hand on his cheek my thumb rubbing his lips. "Real."

"Where are we?" he asked. His eyes twinkled from sleep and adoration. A shy smile graced his handsome face. I never thought I would miss his baby blue eyes hidden underneath his long blond lashes. I peppered his face with tiny kisses from his eyes down to his cheeks and onto his mouth. Then, I placed my forehead over his. I closed my eyes as I enjoyed feeling his warm skin and smelling the heavenly scent of flowers surrounding us.

"We're home, Peeta. We're finally home."

* * *

_**AN: Thank you for reading this chapter. It was bittersweet for me knowing it's the second to the last chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Next, the epilogue. Have a great weekend. :)  
**_


	57. Chapter 57 - Epilogue

Chapter 57 – Epilogue - It's My Happy Heart You Hear

_AN: If you're wondering how I got the title, it's from a song from one of my favorite singers of all time, Petula Clark. When I was growing up, my grandmother would play her songs all the time. This chapter is dedicated to my grandmother._

_Thank you to my reviewers [Matainer, Shannon, rebecca1974, Browniangel, LACR, IcyPinkLemonade and Mspriss523] for the last comments and reviews to "The Weary Heart." It has been a long journey with you guys, one year and two months to be exact since I started posting my story. There's relief and sadness but mostly a sense of accomplishment. As usual, Hunger Games belongs to Suzanne Collins. This final chapter is extra long. I had meant to write it as a farewell gift to this story and a thank you for everyone who has read 'The Weary Heart.' And finally…the epilogue. There is sex between our favorite characters near the end of this chapter. If you're offended please turn back before the ending._

* * *

**Haymitch POV ––**

I turned my head to look at my 'kids.' We had resumed our dinner dates this time having it in Katniss' home. Or rather Katniss and Peeta's home. He officially moved in since my wife had moved into mine. Delly and Johanna lived next door to them having Bron moved out. He now lived in a cozy apartment in town. Alec became his neighbor and physical therapy buddy.

We had hoped to resume our lives as if nothing had happened or so we thought. Many nights we'd hear from our windows both Peeta and Katniss yelling from their nightmares.

We awoken and held our breath as the sounds dimmed within minutes. The nightmares never left them especially Peeta. During his ordeal he had kept all his mental wounds and scars to himself and now, they were surfacing. The danger that followed him was no longer imminent. He was finally free from Gale, but it would haunt him for a long time.

The next day both sported heavy dark circles around their eyes. It would take time for everyone to resume the normal life we deserved. I guess time is only thing that we need to recover.

A few times Effie suggested we go and see them but fought against it. The nightmares they experienced we're something they had to deal between themselves. I felt as though I was intruding into something so private that interfering would cause more harm than help. Besides, I had promised Effie a week or two of just the two of us alone in our home.

After awakening in the Katniss' meadow Peeta was weak from the drugs and his ordeal. It seemed his body had finally caught up to his trauma and had weakened him. It took weeks of recovery, as he had to be pushed around in a wheelchair. It also didn't help that his left leg had swollen so badly causing some nerve damage. He couldn't wear his prosthetic leg for it hurt to wear it. Compounding his mental weakness, this new disability was a blow to his mental state. He felt helpless and burdensome to those around him.

It broke my heart watching Katniss as she tended to him. During his recovery Peeta was subdued and quiet. It was unnatural to see him that way. I missed the light in his eyes, his exuberant smile and happy disposition. It was as if a change happened to him over night. He was the same Peeta that returned from the Capitol after the war. There had been other changes as well. Johanna was…calm and not so…bitchy. I suspected it had something to do with Alec. She would try to find an excuse to go to town for an errand for Peeta or Katniss since the star-crossed lovers avoided going into town.

When the news broke that they returned home, gifts and flowers arrived everyday from all the districts especially the Capitol. I was tasked to break the news that Peeta had to returned to District 2 to make a statement and that Gale wanted to see him. I remembered the look in Katniss' face and her reaction when I told her.

* * *

_**Flashback ––**_

"_No, I said no, Haymitch," Katniss bellowed. "I am not going to put Peeta through that. He deserves to be left alone. What does Gale want from him?"_

"_Katniss," Effie added. "He has to physically be there to make his statement Seeing Gale is up to Peeta. He's doesn't have to see Gale but I thought he'd want to know."_

"_I don't care," Katniss reiterated. "Why can't he give them his statement over the phone or by video?"_

"_The judicial system has to make sure that he's making the statement without prejudice or influence." Effie said. "He has to make an appearance physically to make his statement. Then it'll over with and you can go on with your lives."_

"_It'll never be over."_

_I agreed with her. She and Peeta were famous. Their love story was written in the history books. How two victors survived the 74__th__ Hunger Games; it was unprecedented. They were a household name forever remembered. Seeing him in District 2 would start rumors and gossip. Why was he there and why show up in the District 2 Judicial building?_

"_No," she repeated. She paced her living room floor, her hands fisted by her sides. Peeta was seated in his wheelchair, elbow propped on the arm as his hand cradled the side of his head. "Look at him? Does he look like someone who wants to make a statement now to relive his abuse and torture?" He was dressed in light blue pajamas, his hair tousled and clothes wrinkled. It hurt seeing him with his lower left leg missing, his pajamas bottom folded on the knee. There was a slight tremble with both of his hands._

"_Katniss?" Peeta spoke, soft and calm that she either ignored him or was too angry to have heard him._

"_Katniss, if we don't address this soon, the media frenzy will get worse. This will not stop until we give them something," I explained to her. "Listen, he needs to do it soon." _

"_Haymitch, please Peeta and I want to put everything behind us," she stated. She looked at Peeta. "He's not, he can't go through it now. It's too soon." I didn't have the heart to tell her that Peeta did have to soon to give his statement. For weeks I had deflected and postponed the inevitable. I had used his medical condition to delay his return to District 2 to give his statement._

"_Peeta, are you okay?" she asked him as Peeta rubbed the side of his head with his eyes closed._

"_My head hurts Katniss," he answered her. He reached out his hand to her. "Can we talk about this later, Haymitch? I need…to lie down."_

"_See, Haymitch. He's not strong enough to see anyone let alone travel to District 2 and give a statement," she enforced as she knelt before him and grabbed his hand._

"_I'm sorry, Peeta," I returned. He looked sick and deathly white. "Are you okay? You need anything?"_

"_I'm just tired, Haymitch," he answered back. "Katniss can you get my pills? I left the bottle on my side drawer, please?"_

"_Sure, baby." She kissed him soft and ran up the stairs with Peeta's eyes following her. Once he knew she was upstairs and away from hearing distance he spoke, "Haymitch, I'll go as soon as you make the arrangements."_

"_I'm sorry. Effie will give them notice when you're ready. She'll notify them and make the arrangements."_

"_I don't to prolong it. Set it up as soon as possible so I can get this over with."_

"_What about Gale's request about wanting to talk to you?" _

_Peeta sighed. "You leave her to me." Katniss returned with his bottle of pills and water in hand. He took his pills and leaned back into his chair._

"_I'm tired, Haymitch," Peeta repeated. "We can discuss this later." After taking his medication he wheeled himself to the staircase with Katniss right behind him._

"_Do you want to take a nap?" Peeta nodded his head._

"_Will you lie down with me, Katniss?" he asked as he placed an arm over her shoulder to help him climb up the stairs. I noticed her hand slipped past his t-shirt revealing his pale skin. I winced at the long scars he had in his forearms. They were souvenirs when a wild dog attacked him a few months before. _

"_Always," she returned._

_**End of Flashback ––**_

* * *

Since then Katniss has been abrupt and angry with me. Whatever Peeta told her worked as she compiled and would travel to District 2 to make his statement, but she was scared and livid when he told her of his intent to visit Gale.

"Why would you agree to do that?" she said with frustration, anger and disbelief. "Why would you do that to yourself? Isn't it enough that he's caught and locked up?"

"I need to do this."

"Why? I don't understand why. What good will it do?"

"You had your closure and I need mine," he said with finality and purpose. "He had been stalking me for months, terrorizing everyone I love like some spectre. I had months of this bane shadowing me. I need to confront him once and for all." Katniss held her tongue as she realized that he needed his closure as well. She wouldn't deny him of that.

Kara diagnosed that it would take weeks before all the TJX cleared his system. The biggest effect was his mind as he struggled to perceive what was real and not real. There would be days as he sat in his chair looking out the window and wondered when his family would visit him. Katniss held her anguish as she played the real and not real game with him. She understood his affliction, never losing her patience as her frustration and worry grew. She needed to protect him. I knew and understood her concern. This was Katniss' concern since she didn't want to expose him if suddenly he fazed in and out of his delusions while he was making his statement.

"It was stupid of me to think that once Peeta was safe from Gale, our lives were our own again," she seethed in anger, her teeth gnashed together. "What happens if he starts to…what if he's triggered or starts asking me real or not real, Haymitch? How do I explain it? It's no one's business to know of his…medical condition. What if he law thinks he's crazy and made this all up?"

Aw, I see. It wasn't as much that she was against Peeta making his statement itself. She feared for his mental health and welfare.

"I love him so much," she cried to herself. "I don't want him to be scorned or judged by anyone."

"Katniss," Effie spoke, her voice soothing and calm. "I promise you I will end the interview if Peeta starts to feel uncomfortable. I won't let anyone hurt, ever."

"Katniss, we will be there with you if you want?" Johanna stated. Katniss shook his head.

"This is difficult as it is. I can't understand how Peeta could have agreed to this now when he's still sick and weak?" She narrowed her eyes towards me as if I was at fault.

"Don't be made at me, Katniss," I berated her. "The sooner Peeta gets this done, the sooner we can get back to our lives. Besides, it's Peeta who should be upset with me for making him do this."

Other days he would lay in bed and cry, curled up in fetal position that the only thing Katniss could do was comfort and hold him as he calmed down. Her singing always brought him back to reality.

Peeta asked her to go with him to the Capitol. That was his only condition. She held his head with both hands and looked him straight in the eyes, blue clashed with steel gray with determination.

"You can ask me for anything, Peeta and I'll be by your side." Thus, I had to ask Paylor permission for Katniss to leave District 12 once again. If denied, I feared for her mental state being separated from Peeta. She couldn't or wouldn't survive the separation. They were attached to the hip so to speak that when you one, you saw the other by their side. That kind of closeness grated since I needed my space, but it was different with those two. In time, Peeta will heal and Katniss outgrow her separation anxiety. So for now, they clung to each other.

To ensure that both Katniss and Peeta had a good night rest, Delly slipped sleep serum in their water per my instructions. "The dosage I gave them will make them sleep through the night. I hope they'll be too sedated to have any nightmares this evening."

"We can only hope," I muttered.

"I'm going to stay in one of the guests rooms just in case," Johanna suggested. "I can't sleep anyway." All I night I tossed and turned in my bed as Effie slept soundly next to me. The soft cadence of her breath was a balm to my soul. It felt odd as I slept on a bed that I hadn't occupied in years. That, and a clean and pristine home. It was a home at last and not a place to indulge in my addiction of alcohol. I had family, a wife and a sense of purpose. My two tributes survived and I felt alive for the first times in decades.

Peeta and Katniss appeared the next morning tired but slept through the night as without incident. Sae appeared with Tamryn as scheduled providing our first meal of the day. Tamryn's presence seemed to put Peeta at ease. However, Katniss was in pins and needles as she fidgeted and bit her nails that Peeta grabbed her hands. Then I had to deliver more bad news.

"Um…words spread of Gale's incarceration and with rumors of you in the hospital, the media are frantic. Caesar has been bugging me for weeks for an interview."

"No, I'm putting my foot down for me and Peeta," Katniss sounded resolute. There was fire in her eyes; her teeth clenched together. She was a valkyrie with her sword in her hand protecting whatever privacy she and Peeta had left. "No more interviews. It's bad enough we have to travel to District 2 for Peeta to make his statement and for him to confront Gale. I'm not going to budge on this. No."

"This is my plan," Effie advised them. "I will do the press conference. You only have to be there to make an appearance so they know that you are aware of what I'm stating to the press."

"You won't be answering any questions," I added. "Just stand there with her. She will do all the talking. Johanna has assigned a platoon of Guardsmen to escort and protect you. They won't get anywhere near you, I promise."

"Don't worry Katniss," Peeta comforted her. "We'll make an appearance to satisfy their curiosity and no one needs to know why I'm in District 2. Please relax. You're making me nervous." He teased her as he lifted her hand and kissed it. "As long as you come with me, I can do this. All of it." I felt his determination but I also sensed his fear.

After lunch, Katniss, Johanna, Effie and I were scheduled to take the train to 11 then Johanna's hovercraft would transfer us to District 2. In all, the trip would last 3 hours. Delly remained with Alec and Bron to ensure that they continued their physical therapy. With the help of the Capitol medical technology, both recovered as their bones healed within 3 weeks in a cast. It has been six weeks since we left District 5 and it felt like it was just yesterday when we were there.

"I wished you didn't have to do this," Katniss confessed. "We deserve to have a private life. It's not right that they're still doing this to us. The games are over. Gale is finally caught. I had hoped that this was the end of it."

"Katniss, Haymitch is right. We have to do this, " he concluded. "The media will never let this go."

"Effie will do the press conference once you finish making your statement," I reminded her. Katniss leaned her head against Peeta's shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her waist. His hand was clutched with his, their fingers intertwined.

"They don't want to talk to you, Effie," she told her. Peeta kissed the top of her head then nuzzled his nose on her hair. He was unusually calm. I just hope that he's prepared to face his demons physically and figuratively or this will be another nightmare to add to list. How much more would Peeta need to endure before he can't put this behind him?

"We need…I need to address this so they'll leave us alone." Peeta mumbled as he pressed his chin on top of her head. Katniss sighed. "One way or another the press will find a way to sneak into District 12 and we'll be caught by surprise."

"Peeta's right," I added. "If we do this now and tell them on our own, we won't have anyone speculating and starting rumors about what happened. Let Peeta do this, trust him."

"I do trust him," Katniss berated me. "This isn't about my not trusting Peeta, it's about them wanting to know every detail of our lives. Why can't they just leave us alone? I never wanted this." No one did. As a Victor from the games, you life became public domain.

"Sweetheart," I muttered. "You and Peeta are the famous Star-Crossed Lovers of the 74th Hunger Games. You," I pointed to Katniss. "…do I have to remind you were the Mockingjay who led the rebellion that freed Panem from Snow. And Peeta…he was…is the boy who loved you since you were five and followed you to war despite his hijacking. You are not normal nor will you ever be. You got to get it into your head that you'll never be free from the press. Just be glad that you have each other to get through this together. Rely on each other to get through this." To think that the fate of Panem rested on two teens that started the spark for the rebellion. Looking at them you would have never guessed that they had changed Panem forever. To me they were just a boy and girl in love.

"We'll be okay, Katniss," Peeta sounded. "Listen, if I feel as though I'm losing it, I'll stop."

"Just give me the word and we'll leave and do it another day," I promised him. "But I believe that Peeta can do this. Once this is done, it's done."

"Just don't push yourself, Peeta," Katniss advised. "Promise me that you'll stop if you start to feel…uncomfortable, please." She chose her words stopping herself from saying 'triggered.' Peeta needed all the support from all of us if he was to get through this without him relapsing into an episode. It was an ordeal he was willing to risk.

"I will." I hoped that things would go smoothly. I'm certain that Peeta can handle giving his statement. My real concern was his confrontation with Gale. He was his trigger and given that he was injected twice, I'm worried he'll lose control and jeopardize his recovery. Kara had given me a syringe filled with sedatives incase it was needed.

He rubbed his left leg. "Are you sure you're okay wearing your prosthesis?"

"I don't want to be pushed around in a wheelchair, Katniss," he stated. "Especially when I see Gale."

"Kara said the swelling and the nerves to your legs should be healed by now." Katniss placed a hand on top of his. "People won't think less of you if they see you in a wheelchair."

"I don't care what people think. I need to stand on my own two feet." He wasn't just talking physically but emotionally as well.

The train ride to District 11 was quiet. However, once we reached their platform news reporters and media hounded us. Luckily, Johanna had four Guardsmen standing by and we were whisked into the airfield and boarded the hovercraft. I took a deep breath as the hovercraft traveled its' way to District 2. I'll wait with bated breath for all this to be over. Once we're back on 12 and on solid ground will I cease to release the knot that grew exponentially in my stomach as the distance to 2 got smaller and smaller.

* * *

**Katniss POV ––**

I swallowed the bile that rose from my stomach. As we approached District 2, Peeta's grip on my hand tightened. I sensed his fear even though he appeared calm sitting next to me. After breakfast, he played with Tamryn distracting his mind for a couple of hours. He looked at ease with her as they drew pictures together.

"Peeta?" Tamryn called out to him as she colored a daisy on a piece of paper. She looked sad as she raised her eyes to him.

"Yeah, sweetie?" My heart melted when he called her that, his voice soft and low.

"You're coming back, right?" she asked with trepidation. Her big grey eyes were filled with worry.

"Of course, Tamryn," he answered her. "This is my home. I'll always come back."

"You were away for so long and you came back sick again," she reminded him. "I don't like it when you leave. You always come back sick." Oh, it never occurred to me that the two times he was gone he came back from the hospital. Once, when he was abducted and the second time coming back from our trip to the Capitol.

"I promise you this time I'll be back soon," Peeta comforted her. "And I'll even come back with a new dress for you from District 2."

She sniffled. "Why do you have to leave again?"

"I have to because a very bad man did something wrong and I have to make sure he stays locked up until he gets better." I'm amazed at Peeta's generous and forgiving nature that Gale could be rehabilitated. He believed in second chances, third and fourth too. I'm an example of his generosity for all the times I ignored and denied him my friendship and love. "While I'm there I'll get you a new dress, won't you like that?

"I don't want a new dress," she whimpered.

"Then what do you want me to get for you?"

"I want you to come home, not sick or anything," she cried. "Don't go." Peeta held her as she burst into tears. He placed her on his lap and rocked her back and forth. She cried some more as we departed from the house not wanting to let go of him. She wrapped her tiny arms around his neck. I held my tears at bay as I watched Peeta pull away from her. An announcement disrupted my memory as it sounded through the speakers in the hovercraft.

"We are approaching District 2 in ten minutes, please prepare for landing." I felt Peeta stiffened in my arms.

"Hey," I spoke. "When this all over, I want to take you out on a date?" He smiled back at me; his eyes glinted with warmth and joy. I hoped to see that every day for the rest of our lives. "I haven't planned it out yet. I got a few ideas. We'll date like normal people, dress up, go out to dinner and dancing."

"Dancing?" he teased me. He knew my aversion to dancing. "Since when did my girl loved to go dancing?"

"It's not that hard," I blushed remembering the last time we danced. I felt his hard length against me as he held me close, his arms around my waist and his hands on the small of my back. "I like dancing with _you_, Peeta."

"I'd like that."

"Yeah?" He nodded his head as he placed his chin on top of my head. He needed the distraction when the view out of the window looked familiar. District 2 was not as opulent in wealth and luxury as District 1 and the Capitol. Their main industry was stone and masonry. It was however, the official headquarters for the former Peacekeepers. It just made sense that when Paylor created the Guardsmen; they took over the building and facilities.

"I've dreamt about dating you ever since the first time I've watched my brothers go out on their dates. I'd imagine what we'd do or where we'd go."

"Where would we have gone out on our date?" I smiled at him as I watched his mind wander. There was a tinge of sadness on his face. Peeta may not have been as close to his brothers as I was close to Prim but they were still his flesh and blood. The family he loved and lost.

"Well, I don't know if you'd agree, but I'd have you teach me how to use a bow and arrow. I'd be horrible at it, but it would be something you'd like to do. It's not romantic. Just something we could do together as we got to know each other better."

"Really?"

I nodded my head. "Then, we'd have a picnic. I'd seduce you with my Cheese Buns and my baking abilities."

"It would have worked and you wouldn't had to try so hard. Sounds wonderful." I'd fall in love with him over and over in each lifetime.

Then, next thing I knew the hovercraft docked at the rooftop of the judicial building at District 2. The great thing about landing there was that there were no media or reporters to greet us. Haymitch corralled us into the elevator. As soon as the elevator doors opened, time stopped as the occupants turned and gawked at us. There were law officers and civilian workers on the floor. They had the decency not to approach us but whispered amongst themselves.

A tall woman wearing a Guardsman uniform approached us. She was blond with big blue eyes and her hair pulled back in a ponytail. Though her eyes were directed at Peeta she spoke to Johanna, "Commander Mason, I am Lieutenant Jess Forte, I'm the lead investigator for Mr. Mellark case. I will be taking his statement." Immediately, I'm suspicious and pissed. A woman is taking Peeta's statement, an attractive one too. She was built like Effie. I didn't like her right away. And of course, Peeta was oblivious to her stares, as she looked him up and down.

"Lucky boy," Haymitch muttered under his breath. He received an elbow onto his stomach by his wife. "Watch it, woman."

"Haymitch, behave," she uttered back.

"It is a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Mellark," she greeted him as she extended her hand to him. "I'm sorry we had to meet under unpleasant circumstance. I will do my best to make this comfortable for you as possible." Though she wasn't flirtatious she grated me. "It is a pleasure to meet all of you." She finally looked at me sizing me up and down. I scowled back at her.

"Can we do this right away? I want to this over with," Peeta announced." She led us through a corridor. The hallway was white with white doors and shiny silver plates in which you slid a security card to enter. It was immaculate I was afraid to touch anything incase my hands were filthy. It was that clean.

"Mr. Mellark, please step this way," Jess instructed him as she opened a door. "Everyone else will follow me."

"I want to be with Peeta when he gives his statement," I interjected.

"No, Katniss," Peeta said. I'm stunned and hurt.

"Peeta?"

"Katniss, please. You already know what he did to me," he reminded me. "I can't talk about it again with you in the room. I'll…I'm having a hard time as it is repeating it all over again."

"Peeta, I want to be there to support you," I stated. "What if you need me?"

"Ms. Everdeen," Jess spoke interrupting us. "You'll be able to see him in the other room. There's a two-way mirror. I've been informed of his…condition and I promise you that if he's in some discomfort, Commander Mason insists that the interview will be over." I looked at Johanna. I mouthed a 'thank you' to her direction. I hated the idea of her in the room with him, but I relented. He needed to do this on his own.

"Peeta, I'll be in the other room. If you get tired or uncomfortable and need to stop, please stop and don't push yourself." I hugged him one last time. He kissed my cheek before releasing me from our embrace.

"I love you," he whispered in my ear. I held back the tears that threaten to fall from my eyes. "I'll be fine." Then he was gone. Haymitch held me for a few seconds. I pulled away from him as Peeta appeared in the next room. Jess sat across him. A table separated them with a microphone in the center. She gestured at him pointing to a glass pitcher and several glasses were set before them.

"Why can't we hear anything?" I asked no one in general.

"It's to give them privacy," Haymitch answered back.

"What if she says something that will upset him?" I panicked. This felt wrong. I felt helpless and gutted knowing that I couldn't be in the same room with Peeta.

"We don't know how long this will take, Katniss," Johanna said. "Sit down and watch him if you want. He'll be okay. If anything goes wrong we can get to him." Helpless, all I could was watch and wait.

Two hours passed. I could tell that Peeta was getting tired. His shoulders were slumped and his head down. I watched his hand for any signs of distress. Tears appeared in his eyes as he suddenly wrapped his arms around his waist. It tore my heart watching him relive the hours he spent with Gale and Eva. Jess placed a hand to cover her mouth. There was a look of shock and disgust as he revealed his torture and abuse to her. She asked him a question. Peeta shook his head as he wiped tears that tracked down his face with the back of his hand.

"Haymitch, tell Jess that Peeta needs a break," I advised him. "They've been in there for two hours with no break. I can't stand it. Johanna, Haymitch do something." I sat up from the chair and placed a hand on the window hoping that Peeta could feel my presence.

"I can't interrupt him, Katniss," Johanna spoke as she stood next to me. "He made me swear to let him finish, no interruptions unless he's having an attack or gets triggered."

"When did he tell you––"

"Last night before we all went to bed," she expressed. "I'm sorry."

"Well, I made no such promise to him," I seethed with anger. "He's…suffering, reliving the horror and trauma that Gale and Eve put him through."

"It has to be done, Katniss," Effie sounded. "Give Peeta this time to put it behind him. If he wants to…he needs to do this without us interrupting him, let him do it."

"He can do this. He's strong, Katniss," Haymitch added. "If he wasn't, he wouldn't be here with us. He would have given up." He paused and looked at Peeta. "He would have given up on us."

I knew he was right. Peeta needed people in his life, people he could love and be loved in return. It's what gave him strength, the will to live or die for the people he loved.

Half an hour later, the interview ended. Jess escorted Peeta out of the room. I immediately drew him into my arms. "Are you okay?" I inquired, holding him close. I felt his breath tickle my ear. He nodded his head in response. I needed to hear his voice. "Peeta, tell me are you okay?"

"Yes," he said his voice raspy and shook. "I will be." I gazed into his eyes, gauging the truth from his orbs. They could never lie to me. What I saw was relief and sadness. And something else I couldn't identify. Hope? "I want to lie down, I'm so tired."

I looked for Johanna who was talking to Jess. The sight of the two women startled me as they were both in contradiction from each other; one tall the other short. Jess was blond to Johanna's dark hair. They both wore the same form fitting uniforms that accentuated their curves. Both had a look of concern in their eyes. I couldn't help but overhear them.

"I can't believe he survived all that," Jess articulated. "I'll do the best I can to make sure that he gets justice."

"That's all I can ask," Johanna uttered. "I want this on record. Hawthorne still has people in his camp. I don't know you but I'm entrusting Peeta's life in your hands. Paylor told me I could trust you. So if you have any loyalty to Hawthorne, you will remove yourself from the case. If you betray us, my wrath will not be felt not just from me but from everyone in this room." She looked at the three Victors that stood by Peeta. I watched Jess' eyes grew wide.

"I would never do anything to jeopardize this," she returned. "I work for you, Commander. I seek justice for those who were wronged. I will do my job to the best of my ability." Her eyes turned to Peeta with pity and concern. "He deserves justice after everything he's been through."

Peeta extended his hand towards her, "Thank you, thank you for everything."

"It has been my pleasure." She held onto his hand a little too long for my taste.

"Johanna, can I take Peeta away from here?" I asked. "He's done, right? You got what you needed?"

"Yes, Ms. Everdeen," Jess expressed. "He can go home, he's done." Well, he wasn't. Peeta still had to confront Gale, but she didn't need to know that.

"Thank you," I said as I grabbed Peeta's trembling hand.

"Please be assured that I will personally handle Mr. Mellark's case," she intoned. "This will be over soon and Mr. Mellark will never have to fear from Mr. Hawthorne ever again." I nodded my thanks.

The press conference was short. It was held in the front steps of the judicial building. It was a daunting sight to see not only the press present but spectators as well. Crowds of Star-Crossed lover fans yelled out our names. I held onto Peeta as Effie made a one-minute speech along with another minute of questions afforded for the press.

"Any questions will be directed to me and not to Mr. Mellark and Ms. Everdeen," Effie proclaimed. "They are here as a courtesy. I will answer your questions."

The flashes from the camera blinded us as the roar of voices filled the air.

"Peeta, is it true that you had another episode and attacked Gale Hawthorne?" a slimy reporter with orange hair blasted his question directly at him. He reminded me of Caesar Flickerman.

"Katniss, can you tell us has Peeta ever attacked you? Is he still a danger to you?" Peeta stiffened next to me as his hand loosened from my grasp that I held on tight.

"What is the true nature of Peeta's condition while he treated in District 5?"

"Is it true that Gale is not your cousin, but your ex-lover?" My anger grew at the audacity of their line of questioning knowing that Peeta stood beside me. It was humiliating and shameful.

"Is it true that you had an affair when Peeta was in the Capitol while he was being tortured and abused by President Snow?" My throat tightened in anger. "That you abandoned him to be with your lover Gale Hawthorne?" Though it was true that I did abandoned Peeta after he was rescued. I was never with Gale as his lover or girlfriend though it was perceived through my actions and avoidance once Peeta was in recovery. Shame and guilt would stay with me forever. I abandoned and gave up on him in District 13.

"Did you not hear what I said a few seconds ago," Effie's voice boomed, her voice loud and stern. "Have you no decency? We gave you the courtesy of having this press conference in the condition that you will not direct your questions to Mr. Mellark and Ms. Everdeen. Please respect their privacy. Haven't you invaded their lives enough? Do they not deserve to be left alone after everything they had sacrificed for you? All of you should be ashamed of yourselves."

The quiet that followed was thick. Haymitch looked pleased and proud at his wife who stood amongst them. Her head held high and posture straight.

"For your insolence this press conference is over," Effie announced with finality. Then we were shepherd into an armored hover car with two black cars escorting us away from the area.

Effie opened her home to us. The house brought back memories of the nights Peeta and I shared before all hell broke lose. "Just make yourself at home. You know where everything is," she stated in her Capitol accent.

"Both of you get some rest. We'll being staying for one night so don't get too comfortable," Haymitch added. Peeta was scheduled to visit Gale after dinner. He needed rest before their confrontation. I led him to our designated room. He went directly to the bed with clothes and shoes on. Face downward, he dropped onto the mattress with a soft thump. "Baby, at least take off your shoes," I berated him. He remained still and quiet. It scared me. "Peeta, honey? Are you okay?" He lay on the bed with arms and legs star fished.

I lay next to him my head close to his. His eyes were closed. "I'm sorry, baby. I know it was a rough, but you did great. I'm so proud of you." A soft snore answered back. I played with his hair, fingering the blond strands. It was and silky soft to touch. I sighed in relief as I looked around the room. Memories filled my mind, remembering how many times he made love to me on the bed, and floor and in front of the mirror. I could never forget that night. We were insatiable. I missed his touch. It's been weeks since we made love since the last night in the train as we headed back home.

I never thought that I would miss that part of our relationship, the intimacy and closeness we shared. That sex was part of the relationship I was willing to deny myself. I never thought of Gale in that way or any man for that matter until I met Peeta. I never knew what I missed in my life. Then, I realized that Peeta would have been the only one I could have shared that experience. He was my one and only. Now, I understood what my mother had with my father, the love and desire they shared together. What Peeta and I experienced to get to this point in our lives was worth the trauma and suffering we endured. I just wished it hadn't so painful to get there. Feeling dirty from the visit, I took a quick shower and dried my hair. We had a few hours of rest before heading over the mental facility Gale was located at.

When I finished my shower, I removed Peeta's shoes and socks. I debated in awakening him to help him remove his clothes, but thought against it. I slid back into bed wearing one of his light blue t-shirts that dropped to mid-thigh and cotton panties. The room was cool; the temperature perfect for Peeta but not for me. So I slid underneath the comforter. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.

I woke up later and reached out for Peeta when my hand met the empty space besides me. "Peeta," I cried out in panic as I sat up and looked about the room. There he stood looking out the window, his face illuminated by the streetlight. It was dark. "Peeta? Are you okay?"

"I'm sorry, Katniss." His words startled me.

"What's wrong?" I stood off the bed and walked towards him. "Did you have a bad dream?" He ignored me. "Peeta, are you not feeling well?" He had removed his clothes and stood with a pair of boxer shorts and t-shirt.

"I haven't been a very good and attentive boyfriend lately," he announced. "All this time, you've been taking care of me and I have been selfish––"

"No, Peeta," I interjected. "You've been through so much these past few weeks. I didn't mind taking care of you. I love you." Those three words left my mouth so easily. Why I was scared to say them seemed ludicrous to me. I waited for him to say it in return. "Peeta?"

He turned around and kissed me soft, his lips grazing mine. I didn't want his kisses to be chaste and sweet as they have been since he had awoken from the meadow. I grabbed his face and angled my head, kissing him hard as I opened my mouth clashing my tongue against his. He had taken shower and smelled of lavender. "Hmm…" I moaned into his mouth. He grabbed my waist and pulled me closed. "Peeta, I missed you," I mumbled between hot, wet kisses. My knees buckled at the feel of him between my legs.

"I missed you too," he said as he pulled back, our foreheads touching as we panted from our kisses. "I remember this room. What we did; I couldn't get enough of you that night."

"Me, too."

"I want you but we don't have much time. Haymitch poked his head in and said that's dinner is in an half an hour."

"You haven't been feeling well and the visit this afternoon wore you out," I clarified. "Come on, let's lie down. I didn't like waking up without you beside me." I tugged on his hand. He lay down and extended his arms to me. I placed my head on the crook of his neck. My concern for his mental state left me ill at ease. "Peeta, are you sure you want to see Gale tonight? Maybe you should see him tomorrow?"

"I don't want to prolong our stay here, Katniss."

"But, you just had a trying time this afternoon," I told him.

"I'm going tonight after dinner," he stated with finality. If there was one thing Peeta and I had in common, we were both stubborn. Once he made up his mind, there no deterring him. "Let's not think about it any more. I just want enjoy the peace and quiet we have right now." I nodded my head. My mind spun at the possibility of what may happen when he confronted Gale. I'm worried about his mental state fearing he may relapse and get triggered.

"I can hear your mind at work, Katniss," he interrupted my thoughts. "Just stop, I'll be okay."

"I can't help it. I just don't want you to get hurt."

"I won't. You have to trust me. Do me a favor. When I go to see him, you can't be in the room with me, Katniss."

I sat up and stared at him in disbelief. "Why not?"

"For two reason, Katniss," he explained. "One, you already confronted him. You'll set him off if he knows you're there with me. And, two…what I have to say to him is between Gale and me."

"What can you possibly say to him that I can't know about?"

"I need to do this on my own, Katniss. This conversation is long over due." I looked at him, his eyes turned away from me like he was hiding a secret.

"Oh for crying out loud," I said in frustration. "If you two are going to have a pissing contest––"

"Katniss, do you really think I'm going there to talk to him so I can…gloat," he said in disgust as he sat up on the bed and turned his back on me.

"I'm sorry," I interjected as I crawled behind him pressing my chest against his back. "I…I know you wouldn't do that. I'm frustrated and scared that something bad will happen if I'm not with you."

"I'll be okay, Katniss," Peeta voiced. "I need closure as well. I have to put him behind me. Confront him one last time." He stopped and took a deep breath. "If I don't he'll haunt me forever."

'Hey, lay back." I pulled him to lie down again. He grunted as he resisted me. I moved around him and straddled his legs. "Peeta, I'm not saying that you wouldn't be able to handle Gale. I'm your girlfriend. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I didn't worry about you?" He relaxed and rested his hands on the expanse of my waist.

Then, suddenly he flipped me onto the mattress as I landed on my back. He nestled his hips between my legs. I gasped as I felt him, hard and warm through my shorts. I waited for him to make a move. Peeta stared at me, his eyes landing on my lips. "You look tired. Did you get enough sleep?" I caressed his hair on the nape of his neck. He moaned at my touch.

"I was exhausted so I slept a bit," he expressed as he trailed long hot kisses from my mouth down to my neck. "I woke confused and thought I was dreaming again. That the memories I have here weren't real. I got scared but when I saw you beside me, I knew I was okay."

"You going to be more okay, Peeta. Once we're done here, we never have to come back."

"Thank you for coming with me." He smiled then lean down touching our foreheads. "I couldn't have done this without you and everyone who's been with me for the past few months." He trailed his mouth from my lips to my cheek them moved downward.

He sucked a portion of my neck, worrying his lips and tongue on the spot. I moaned knowing he was going to leave a mark on my sensitive skin. It was as if he marking or tattooing me letting people know what he's done. I didn't care. I wanted people to see it especially the women he encountered. I belong with him.

"Want to repeat any of them?" I teased. God I needed him but I didn't want to push. He was going to see Gale after dinner. I wanted that over with so we can go home to 12 and make love in our bed and take our time.

"There's never enough time when I'm with you," he said as he adjusted his hips settling his length along my center. "Once we start I don't want to be interrupted. I want to take my time with you. I want my hands and mouth to touch every part of you." I gulped at his desire for me. I wanted that too. "Then, when you're quivering and aching for me begging me to take you, I want to thrust deep inside you, make your cum that you'll want more." Half an hour was not enough time. When Peeta took his time exploring every inch of me, I ached with need, lust and desire that I'll forget the rest of the world.

"Peeta," I moaned. "As much as I want to do this now, we can't." I wanted this. Peeta had not been in any condition or mood to be amorous. I guess the interview from this afternoon lightened the load from his mind knowing that what he told Jess would put Gale out of harms way forever. He was free from him. Now he was ready to confront him.

"I was scared when in woke up. I thought I dreamt everything. That everything was a dream," he confessed. "That what we had wasn't real. Especially the times we spent together, discovering each other. You love me and not _him_."

"Peeta, I love you. Never doubt that." I held his hand against my beating heart. "Feel this? This is real, we are real." He lean down and kissed me hard, stealing my breath and making my skin tingle with desire. My mind felt fuzzy that his touch blurred everything and everyone around us. I heard the beating of my heart in my ears. I was drowning in sensation he instilled in me.

"You know what else feels real?" I fought to catch my breath as I blinked my eyes to focus. I forgot to breath.

"This is real," he said in a sultry tone, the timber of his voice was low. He reached down and snuck his hand inside my panties. I gasped as finger swiped my wet folds.  
"You're so wet." My breath grew erratic as his fingers found the bundle of nerves that caused me to shut my eyes in ecstasy. My Boy with the Bread had great hands and talented fingers. With just his touch I'm quivering beneath him.

"We don't have time to make love," he whispered in my ear, his tongue gazing my lobe as his teeth bit the flesh. "I miss seeing come apart." He dipped a finger inside me.

"Peeta, that's not fair," I whined as I grabbed his hands hidden beneath my panties; the other hand pinching my pebbled nipple. "I want you to come too."

"Later, when I can take my time with you." He worked my body into a frenzy. His finger rubbed a spot he always managed to find in a matter of seconds. I arched my back causing my shirt to rise revealing my stomach. Peeta dragged the shirt upward exposing my hard nipple into the cool air. He leaned down and latched his mouth on my rosy tip sucking hard. "Oh, shit, I'm gonna cum. Please don't stop."

"I missed you, Katniss," he slobbered on my breast as his tongue licked the areola swirling in circles teasing the hard bud. I grabbed a patch of his hair on the top of his head to anchor my body. My other hand covered my mouth. His blue eyes never left mine as watched me cum so hard that I bite my lower lip from screaming his name.

Minutes later, after I calmed my heaving chest and beating heart, I opened my eyes to see Peeta sporting a happy and goofy smile on his face. It was a look of pride and awe. "Hi."

"You're getting really good at that," I complimented him. He lifted my shirt and laid his head on my chest right top of my heart. We lay together in the dark, enjoying the quiet of the night. It felt surreal knowing that it was really over. After many months of heartache and terror, we could finally breath and enjoy our lives.

Gale was no longer a shadow in Peeta's life tormenting and stalking him. I thought about the past and wondered if I had made a different choice. Would we still be here today, together? Had I chose Peeta from the start, could I have prevented Gale from leading him to the path of self-destruction. Would it have made any difference? Would Prim still be alive? I couldn't see a future without Peeta in it. I kissed the top of his head as I shook my head from my reverie. It was pointless and meaningless to go backwards to moments I couldn't change. I should appreciate the now and our future.

"We're going to spend weeks like this" Peeta whispered in to the night. His soft warm breath grazed my tender breast and wet nipple. I shifted trying to ease the ache between my legs. I wanted him, but time was at a minimum.

"Hmm?"

"Just me and you, in a large soft bed. Preferably with no clothes on," he leered. I giggled. "How much time do we have?" he asked as he looked out the window. He settled between my legs. "Think I can make you come one more time?"

"Peeta?" I gasped. "Someone is going to come in any minute." And just our luck, there was a knock on the door. "Peeta, Katniss? It's time for dinner," Effie's voice reverberated through the wooden door. Peeta leaned his forehead on my chest, his sweat mingled with mine.

"We'll be there in a few minutes, Effie," I cleared my throat and called her back. We waited for her steps to diminish down the corridor. I grabbed Peeta's face cupping his cheeks with the palms of my hands. He was determined to confront Gale but I sensed a bit of hesitation and apprehension from him. "We'll be home tomorrow. Then when we're back at 12 we can take our time anytime, anywhere for as long as we want." He kissed me one more time, his tongue invading inside my mouth. I moaned in agony as my center throbbed with need. He was trying to kill me.

Dinner was delicious as Effie went all out with a 10 oz. filet mignon, mashed potatoes with gravy, green beans, lobster tail soaked in butter and a salad. The lobster was something that I had once during the Quarter Quell Victory Tour. The memory was bittersweet since at the time, Peeta and I were barely civil and talking. The Victory meal felt like the last supper to an inevitable end. I knew I wasn't coming back alive in order to save him. Now, everyone who mattered to me was dead or no longer in my life and those who weren't within my hemisphere became family who I couldn't live without. I never imagined the life I had now without Prim by my side.

We avoided the bottle of champagne since we needed to be sober when we visited Gale. Peeta's spirit was upbeat never showing his worry or fear, but I knew better. Underneath the brave front, he was anxious, wanting to get it over with.

An hour later, we crammed into a narrow elevator leading to Gale's private room. He was availed a suite with a bathroom and privacy due to his status as a hero in the rebellion. He even had a different meal plan from the rest of the residents. However, he was not allowed any visitors except family. He had no access to the outside world and weren't allowed guests. If anyone were to visit him, they would have to make a formal request approved only by Madam President Paylor herself. No everyone in Panem knew he lived there now and why. The humiliation and scandal would taint Paylor's administration. When she was finally abreast to his activities and his involvement with Eva Perry, she was appalled by her misjudgment of character and trust.

"He doesn't deserve this treatment or privileges," Johanna gripped as she told us of the security measure implemented. She stood in front of Peeta and me. As we entered the building security confiscated all her weaponry. It didn't matter if she was the commanding officer of the Guardsman. Hospital regulation was enforced; she was no exception.

"I feel naked without my favorite knife." She looked imposing in her all black Guardsmen attire, wearing shiny steel toe boots and black leather harness. Her hair was pulled back and I noticed a nice pair of diamond studs. I wondered if Alec gave them to her. She had come back on night from town with a blemish on her neck. Delly teased her about it and swore she would get Johanna to confess her feelings for Alec.

Peeta convinced Effie and Haymitch to stay behind stating that he didn't need them to come. Johanna and I was all he wanted to accompany him.

"You've done more than enough, Haymitch," he told him. "Johanna and Katniss will go with me. I'm will be safe with them." Haymitch got misty eyed and hugged him.

"Are you sure you don't Effie and to go with you?" our former mentor asked.

"Yes, please stay."

The sound of our footsteps echoed in the white and spacious corridor. There were video cameras at each end of the hallway. The room/suites weren't numbered but had names like Stardust, Moonlight, and the constellations. We entered through thick double panel glass door. Behind it was a white uniformed guard with a taser gun attached to his holster. Peeta, Johanna and I had our fingers printed imprinted on a datapad. The guard eyes grew in astonishment as he read our names. The first time I visited Gale he was in the low-security infirmary. This was definitely a high-level security floor.

Joanna smirked as she read the placard on Gale's front door. "Mars," she snickered. "It should be a room labeled 'Hell.' It would be more fitting for him." Two male hospital attendants met us at the door. They listened to a click and the door opened.

"We were informed to give you as much time you need to talk to Mr. Hawthorne," one attendant spoke. "If he loses control we are to immediately remove you from the room."

"I thought I could talk to Gale alone," Peeta stated.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Mellark, but hospital policy. We cannot be left alone with him," the other attendant explained. "Doctor's orders."

"Well, I'm not about to talk to Gale with you two inside. I need to talk to him alone." He pressed further. "What I need to say to him is private."

"Sorry we can't let you do that, sir."

"Listen," Johanna interjected. "What if I go in there with him. I'm capable to handling Mr. Hawthorne if he gets out of hand."

"That's not allowed, Ms. Mason. Mr. Mellark is not to be left alone with him." I could tell Peeta's mind was at work.

"Okay, I understand hospital policy," Peeta said. "What if I allow Ms. Mason and Ms. Everdeen to come with me? What I have to say to Hawthorne is not something I want strangers to know and hear." The two attendants looked at each other.

"I will take responsibility if anything happens to Peeta," Johanna suggested. They looked skeptical to Johanna's suggestion. "Listen we're wasting time. We don't want to be here either, but Peeta needs to see Mr. Hawthorne." They relented realizing that we wouldn't budge.

"We will be outside the door if incase you need us, just knock three times." The attendant opened the door.

Peeta walked in first. "Don't say anything to upset him, please. That's applies to the both of you." I nodded my head, as did Johanna. This was his time; I had my turn.

The room was furnished with a comfortable living room set with a couch, coffee table and armchairs. There was a large window with thick windows that overlooked the cityscape of District 2. A single lamp lit up the room. It was...rustic. You wouldn't have thought it was located inside a mental facility right in the edge of town. Moonlight filtered through the gauzy curtains.

Gale was seated on an armchair. On his leg, the ankle bracelet peeked out of blue jeans. He wore a white t-shirt underneath a dark maroon button down shirt. I looked at Gale once again not recognizing the boy I hunted with underneath the beard and blood shot eyes. His skin was sallow and gaunt. His eyes trained on Peeta. It was clear and focused unlike the last time I've talked him.

"I didn't think you'd come." Were his first words to Peeta. "I'm not surprised that Katniss is with you. But why is _she_ here?" He pointed to Johanna. She had a snide look on her face with her lips curled into a smile.

"It was either her or the guys in white," Peeta explained.

"Still hiding behind a skirt, I see," Gale scoffed. He leered at Johanna. "You look fucking ridiculous in my uniform."

"Oh you mean this get up and the job you lost because––"

"That's enough Johanna," Peeta interrupted.

"Couldn't face me alone, Mellark?"

"No, if I had it my way, this conversation would have been just between the two of us." Peeta sat on the other arm opposite him, the coffee table separating them. I walked over to Peeta and stood beside the armchair. "You leave them out of it. So what do you want, Gale?" He went straight to the point.

"I want to know…" he started. "I want to know what you did to make Katniss fall in love with you?" Peeta was quiet for a few seconds then suddenly he laughed. I was stunned at Gale's question but was startled at Peeta's reaction.

"You honestly think that I did something to make Katniss fall in love with me?" He had a look of disbelief and amusement on his handsome face. He shook his head several times as a hand rubbed his forehead.

"You really think that Peeta can make Katniss do anything," Johanna scoffed. I raised my brows at Johanna.

"Gale, you don't really know Katniss at all, if you think I can force her to do anything let alone made her fall in love with me." That's true, look how long it took for me to admit that I was attracted to him. "It only took a missing leg, months of being ignored, a rebellion and being hijacked that she admitted she loved me," he cackled.

"Hey, just a second––" I argued.

"Besides all that, who do you think wears the pants in that relationship?" Johanna snickered. I didn't like what Johanna implicated. I'm strong willed and independent, but so was my Boy with the Bread. They were painting an unflattering picture of myself.

I may be stubborn but I wasn't that bad, _was I?_ Granted, I have my own mind and I'm stubborn, but once Peeta used that silvery and talented tongue of his, I'm a goner. He also could make me do whatever he wanted…in the privacy of our bedroom and bed. Not that I'll admit _that_ to Johanna. I learned patience, tolerance and love through Peeta. He was the patient one.

"Is there a point to this conversation because really…" Peeta sighed. "We're wasting time here." I was tempted to sit on his lap to comfort him or drag him out the room. He suddenly looked tired.

"I was fucking serious," Gale roared. "What did you do?"

"You mean besides the fact that I've been in love with her since I was a child. My childhood crush grew when I turned 12. Katniss may have never spoken to me, but I…knew I loved her because no one…not one single girl in 12 made me feel like the way she did."

"That's impossible. You don't know what love is as a child." Gale's look of disbelief aggravated me. Who was he to talk about love when his version was sick and twisted to a point of obsession.

"You're wrong. You loved your family. That's love. I loved my mother despite the fact she resented and abused me as a child. I loved my dad even though he was weak and never fought for me. I may not have been in love with Katniss when I was young, but when I turned 15 I knew that I wanted her and only her. I loved her though she didn't even know I existed." Peeta was wrong, I knew who he was since we were eleven. He saved me that one rainy day. I just couldn't afford to love anyone besides Prim. Loved hurt at that age, the age my father was killed and when my own mother emotionally abandoned us.

"I know that being in love is not the same as loving someone like a friend or sibling," he continued. "But I knew at an early age that I wanted to be with her, take care of her and that I would do anything to make her happy. Isn't that what loving someone is about? Love is not just sex and rutting at the Slag. Its more than that." Peeta would have loved me from afar which he did for years.

"I want to know that if she had picked me, what would you have done?" As if that was a choice. Peeta was it for me, even if I hadn't been reaped. My life with Gale? I would have settled to a loveless marriage; a marriage of survival, not based on love. The kind of love my parents had. In my eyes, that kind of love was poison and destructive. Yes, I loved Gale, but I wouldn't or couldn't love him the way he wanted me to. We wouldn't have any children because I would have demanded it. _'I chose Peeta because I needed him as well as I loved him.'_

Peeta looked uneasy. "I would have stood aside and hoped that you would take care of her. That you would do anything to make her happy and that also meant taking care of Prim as well." Peeta knew me; my love for Prim was my only priority. "It wouldn't have mattered since Katniss wouldn't have known that I loved her."

"That's not what I meant. I want to know what you would have done had she picked me?" He didn't ask if had I loved him but I had chosen him. He looked at me like some prize to be won from a contest in his mind.

"My heart would have been broken. But I would find it in my heart to love someone to love. I wouldn't treat my wife as she was second best and give her the love she deserved. I would never want to be like my father and end up with a wife who resented him." He looked down on his lap as his hand trembled. "I would have loved Katniss forever." I could see him marrying Delly; she would have helped him picked up the pieces of his heart and made her happy. Thank God that the odds we're on our favor. Peeta Mellark was mine.

"What I wouldn't have done is terrorize her friends. She picked me Gale. She loves me and you're going to have to live with that whether you like it or not."

"She chose you by default. Had Prim not died––"

"Had Prim not died, I still wouldn't have picked you," I shouted in anger. I felt a ball in throat grew into a knot. "I wanted Peeta. When he was captured and I thought he was dead, everyone kept telling me that I loved him. Haymitch, Prim and Finnick. They knew what I couldn't accept. I loved him, I didn't want to love him."

"But what about me? Our friendship meant that little to you that you _'fell'_ for a Merchant. I was your best friend," he reiterated.

"My best friend who I hunted with, who helped my family to survive," I bellowed. "Even though you were my best friend, I still wouldn't have told you the inner workings of my heart. That Peeta saved me when we were eleven. That he gave me hope and strength. He took a beating for me with no expectations. I never told you of my dreams; that he was in my back of my mind. He was someone I dared not hope for, or dare to love."

"I loved you and you threw me away for…_him_," he roared in disgust and stood up. Johanna immediately fell between Peeta and Gale.

"Move or I'll move you myself," Gale threatened her. She didn't budge. "Are you going to let a girl fight for you, Mellark? The way Katniss kept you alive in the arena, the way you were a burden to her." I gasped at his audacity. Peeta was never a burden. I treasured his life above my own, even above Prim during the Quarter Quell. I was determined to have him go home.

"Johanna," Peeta interjected and placed a hand on her upper arm.

"I'm here to stop you from making a big mistake," Johanna explained. "Peeta beat your ass the last time and he'll kick you ass again without my help." This was the last thing Peeta wanted from Gale. He didn't want another altercation with him even though he could take him. I had no doubt he could. My concern was his mental state. He could be triggered and that was the last thing Peeta needed.

"I don't need to prove myself to you Gale," Peeta told him. "Wanting Katniss was not a contest to be won. She chose with her heart. I didn't trick her or coerce her. She chose willingly."

"You can say that because she chose you, Mellark." He stood his ground as Johanna stayed between them. Peeta removed himself from the armchair. "She chose you because she felt sorry for you. Poor Peeta, he lost his leg, his family and his mind. You're a pity case." I couldn't standing any longer as I walked over to him and slugged him, not a slap on the cheek but a fist to his over bloated ego and nose.

"Don't you dare say that I wanted him because I felt sorry for him. I'm with Peeta because I…love…him. I wouldn't have chosen you, Gale." He covered his nose with a hand to stop the blood that poured through his nostril. "I'm done telling you…I love Peeta. Live with it."

"Is this why you wanted to talk to me, Gale?" Peeta had a lot of patience but this was all too trying for him. He was emotionally exhausted.

"I needed to see for myself that she…picked you. I don't understand why, but she chose you." This was a blow to his ego. "I can't understand why with all the women in Panem, why can't I have the one I wanted."

"That's the problem. Wanted. You keep saying you _'want'_ Katniss, but you hardly say you love her more."

"I love Katniss." Gale grew angry, his face red and eyes narrowed "Don't you fucking dare say that I don't love her."

"You know nothing about love. Love is not just enjoying the good times. It's about going through the bad times when your love is tested by people and situations. You weather them together. Love is hard work, determination, stubbornness and fidelity not with your body but with your spirit and mind. Things will be thrown at you, testing you and seeing whether you can survive the storm that crashes into your lives. It's about not hiding your fears and weakness. You need to able to let you partner see into your soul."

"That's a bunch of rubbish," Gale fired back. "I know Katniss better than you do."

"Maybe you do. But who do you see when you look at her?" Peeta agreed with him.

"I loved her through her denial, avoidance and resentment. I loved her through her hate and bitterness for imposing myself into her life. I loved her when my mind hated her. I love Katniss for everything she is, not just the MockingJay or the Girl on Fire. I love Katniss Everdeen from District 12 and from the Seam. You say you love Katniss, but which one? The one before the reaping? She no longer exists. That Katniss died the moment she volunteered for Prim. The same goes for me. I'm not who I used to be, not matter how much I wanted to deny it. The Capitol changed me forever."

His breath was short as if he was losing air from his lungs. "I'm a mutt who almost killed her." I grabbed his face with both hands looking into his eyes to detect any signs of an episode.

"Peeta are you okay? You need to stop."

"I'm fine. We're done," he said. "This was a waste of time." He stumbled of a moment losing balance. "I just felt dizzy for a moment."

"It's okay, honey. It's time to go home."

"He's pathetic," Gale sneered. "Look at him." He took a step towards Peeta pushing Johanna aside that she stumbled on the ground. "I'm not done talking to you." Before I could react my gentle Boy with the Bread had him on the ground, face down and arms behind him. It was all too familiar seeing Peeta pinned Gale onto floor.

"I'm done with you, Gale," he said. "Once I'm out that door I will never see you again. I won't think about you, or remember you. You thought you could break me. Snow couldn't." He pressed his knee onto the middle of his back. "You will never hurt anyone again. You stay away from me and from everyone I love." Then, Peeta released him and took a step away from him. Gale stood up and was about to charge him from behind.

"Peeta, watch out," I warned him. With his height giving him an advantage, Gale took a swung at Peeta. He turned around just in time to wind his arm back and punched Gale in the gut. He bent over and placed both hands onto his stomach, Then, with left arm Peeta delivered an upper cut to his cheek. Gale went down like a rock first landing on his knees. He groaned in pain as he landed on the floor.

"I told you to stop. You didn't listen," Johanna snickered at him as he lay on the ground moaning in pain. Her face hovered over him. "You should have listened to me. I told you Peeta could beat your ass without any help from a _'skirt.'_"

"Katniss," he implored me and reached to me. I had no sympathy since Gale instigated the attack on Peeta again.

"I want to go home," Peeta said. "I'm done here." I clutched him tight in my embrace.

The commotion caught the attention from the attendants as they barged into the room. They stared at Gale who was still prone on the ground clutching his stomach.

"What happened?"

"He tripped and fell on the ground," Johanna smirked.

"It was an accident?" the taller attendant spoke.

"We have to report this," the other attendant stated as watched I rubbed Peeta's red hand.

"I would hate to think that both of you might get in trouble if Paylor finds out that there may have been an altercation between Mr. Mellark and Mr. Hawthorne."

"I see," one attendant observed. "Then we should report this incident as an accident." Johanna nodded her head.

"Mr. Mellark is done here," she added. "We won't waste anymore of your time." Johanna headed to the doorway. "Thank you for your cooperation."

I held Peeta's hand as I led him out. He turned one more time and looked at Gale. The two attendants were attending to his broken nose and bruised stomach as they helped him to his bedroom. It was the last time we'd see him. Both Peeta and I closed that chapter in our lives feeling a sense of relief and freedom. This was the beginning our lives.

**Peeta POV ––**

_Three days later ––_

I'm deep in my thoughts as I kneaded dough with my hands. I looked out the window as the sun peeked through the horizon. I woke up early to surprise Katniss with breakfast in bed. Two nights ago I left behind a portion of my life that had us terrorized for months. It was first time in weeks I felt as though the knot in my stomach had completely vanished. Right after we exited the building we were met with Haymitch and Effie. We were surprised by their appearance. Feeling anxious and nervous, he had decided that if I were able we would leave District 2 that night. We all agreed unanimously without hesitation.

By the time we reached District 12 train platform it was 2 in morning. We were so exhausted that Katniss and I barely reached our bedroom. Our relief was palatable as we slept through most of the morning and well into the evening. We had awoken yesterday hungry but happy. I was beyond exhausted that I was not expecting company with the exception of Greasy Sae and Tamryn. So to my surprise Thom showed up at our doorstep with news.

_**Flashback –– yesterday afternoon**_

"_You're bakery has been done for over two weeks now, Peeta," he announced with a big toothy smile on his face. "I told Haymitch not to tell you until…you came home safe and recovered from…your ordeal." I'm shocked and numb from the news. "So if it's okay, we would like it if you can open the bakery tomorrow. _

"_Tomorrow? That soon?" I asked in amazement. With everything that had happened the construction of the bakery never entered my mind._

"_If you're well enough that is. We…we been waiting for you. I think you'll be pleased with all the work that was done. Alec had been a godsend." Alec. I still had yet to thank him for sticking his neck out for me. "All you have to do is show up and the rest will be handled."_

_I agreed with trepidation and joy._

_End of Flashback ––_

I'm engrossed in my thoughts that Katniss' screams startled me. "Peeta, where are you?" she bawled, her voice in a panic and hoarse from sleep. "Peeta, Peeta." My heart leapt to my throat as ran upstairs two at a time. "Peeta."

"Katniss," I cried back as she crashed into me, her hair in disarray and clothes wrinkled. "What's wrong baby?"

"Peeta, where were you," she hiccupped through her tears. "I woke up…and…you…weren't beside me."

"I'm sorry, baby?" I ran my hand up and down her back. She trembled in my arms, hiccupping uncontrollably. "I'm sorry," I repeated over and over. "I was downstairs. I was making breakfast." For several minutes I held onto her until she calmed down. When her cries subsided, I kissed her forehead. "Come on, you want to get back into bed?" She nodded, words choked in her throat.

On the bed, we were a tangle of arms and limbs; our bodies pressed together. She wore a pair of long pajama bottoms with a long sleeve shirt. I felt her warm skin through her clothes. She smelled of lavender and pine. Her head cradled on my chest. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." She sighed in contentment. Since our return, we were so exhausted with our ordeal with Gale that my promise to make love to her was derailed. "I was trying to be romantic, you know. Serve breakfast in bed with your favorite cheese buns with eggs and coffee."

"I'm sorry that I panicked. I knew we were home and in our house, but when I woke up I didn't hear anything. I thought something bad happened to you." I nodded my head in understanding. It would take a long time for us to feel safe even though Gale was incarcerated in a mental facility in District 2. The memories of my ordeal would last for a while.

For a few minutes, we lay together in peace and quiet in our bedroom. I never thought that I would share a bed with Katniss let alone be her life. It was beyond a dream come true. "I can't believe I'm opening the bakery today."

"You deserve this, Peeta," she said to me as she sat up on her elbow and hovered over me. "I think…I know that you dad would be so proud of you right now. Knowing how you survived…everything and making your dream come true."

"You are my dream come true, Katniss. Not the bakery. I'd lived through everything, every painful and horrible moment if I knew this was where it would lead me." It was true. I wouldn't have survived or wanted to live if anything had happened to Katniss. Had she wanted friendship, I would have offered that to her. If she had chosen Gale or someone else, I would buried my love and heart and wished her all the happiness she deserved.

"I don't deserve you." We had this argument before about who deserved whom.

"I deserve what I want and all I wanted was for you to be happy." I caressed her hair that cascaded over her face. She was lovely in the morning, rumpled from sleep. She was about to lean over and kiss me when I smelled smoke.

"Oh shit," I cried out as I moved off the bed and headed downstairs with Katniss at my heels.

Two hours later, Katniss clutched my arm as we traversed to town for the Grand Opening of my bakery. In front of us was Johanna. I guess habits were hard to break as she looked around making sure that we arrived safely. She wore dark slacks, matching shirt and knee length leather boots. Delly would meet us at the bakery since she had some errands to do. Haymitch and Effie trailed right behind us. It felt normal, a feeling I hadn't felt in a long time. "Are you okay, Peeta?" Katniss asked interrupting my thoughts.

I glanced back at my beautiful girlfriend. Katniss Everdeen is my girlfriend. We were on our way to open my bakery. All the things I dreamed as a boy were finally coming true and was real. She wore a light blue dress that accentuated her curves. After months of better nutrition and care she wasn't the gaunt, skinny girl who came home from the war. She was gorgeous with dark hair cascading down her shoulders and a bit of makeup per Effie assistance.

"I'm sorry that our breakfast was rushed since I burned the bread." I placed a hand on top of hers as it rested on the crook of my arm. "I wanted to make breakfast in bed for you." I sighed in disappointment.

"You'll have many morning to surprise me with breakfast in bed, Peeta. I'll look forward to rewarding you for making an effort to be romantic…and sweet," she whispered in my ear. I miss Katniss, her soft skin underneath my hands as she writhed in pleasure. "Let's just enjoy today, okay?" I was tempted to drag her back home, lock our bedroom door and make love to her all day long, but that was not going to happen.

"I just wish my…dad was here," I confessed. "I really miss him." She leaned her head against my shoulder sending her love and comfort with her touch. That's what I loved about Katniss; sometimes she knew that words could not fill the emptiness I felt missing my family. She understood that kind of loss.

The turnout was unexpected as a large group of people gathered fort the opening. It was humbling and bittersweet to see familiar faces of District 12 survivors in the crowd. "Congratulations, Peeta," someone shouted from the masses. Their support comforted me.

Thom and Alec greeted us at the front of my bakery. I felt awe and pride as I gazed at the sign, 'Mellark Bakery,' at the front of the building. I held back the tears that threatened to fall from my eyes. For a moment as I stood in front of the window displaying all sorts of bread, cakes and pastries, I felt my father's presence. Katniss stood a few feet away from me, her face etched with worry, love and concern. I extended my hand to her.

"Don't leave my side," I told her.

"Never," she answered back, her hand gripped mine. With a few words and small speech from the mayor of District 12, the bakery was opened for business as I cut a long ribbon that stretched across the doorway. To my surprise behind the counter were Hazelle and Vic Hawthorne manning the register wearing the 'Mellark Bakery' emblem on their white shirt. Posy and Rory stood next to Sae and Tamryn in the reception area. I'm floored by their presence.

"I hoped you don't mind that Alec hired Hazelle and Vic to work in your bakery," Katniss confessed. "I told him that you were okay with hiring them." She looked worried that she usurped her role in my business. Before I could answer, Hazelle approached me.

"Peeta, there no words I can express––" My heart broke at the sight of her. She was a grieving mother who had lost her son. No matter how much I hated Gale for what he had done to me, I couldn't hate all the Hawthornes for his actions and behavior. So I reached out and embraced her. There was a loud gasp of shock from Rory. He took a step forward but stopped as he realized I had meant no harm to his mother. She hesitated but wrapped her arms around me hugging me back.

"Thank you for making this day special, Mrs. Hawthorne," I said as I pulled back. "This means the world to me for your support. For being here today." She looked relieved as she stared back at Katniss. There were tears in both their eyes.

"I told you that Peeta would accept you with open arms, Hazelle," Katniss said with pride. "No one has a forgiving or bigger heart than Peeta."

"Thank you, Peeta." She raised a hand and wiped tears from her face. "I just wanted to say––"

"Please, Mrs. Hawthorne, you don't need to say anything else. This is a happy occasion. No need to bring up…something you had no control over." She looked relieved and sad.

"I'm really happy for you Peeta," she uttered back. "Your family would have been really proud of you, especially your father." I held back a sob that was lodge in my throat.

"So let's not keep the public waiting," I announced as I walked over the entryway and opened the door. I didn't want her apology or remorse. I had expected that from Gale when I visited him in District 2. His mother had nothing to apologize for. This was a new beginning for all of us; a fresh start with love, support and forgiveness.

Hours later, the bakery was a complete success. There were moments I imagined my brothers and my father standing and working by my side. Everyone I loved was there. Delly, Haymitch, Effie, Johanna and Katniss stood by me at the worst times in my life. Today, there were no words I could express how I felt. It was day I would never forget. I thanked Alec for completing the construction of the bakery during my absence. For my gratitude I made him a co-partner. He was shocked and surprised.

"Thank you Peeta," he expressed. All day he and Johanna sneaked glances at each other hoping that no one would catch them. I smiled to myself and rejoiced at their blooming relationship. As for Delly, she still had kept Bron at arms length. Their trust was still on the mend, but I could tell that in time they would reunite because the love between them was true. It was shattered by his betrayal but worth fighting for.

"Peeta," Delly interrupted my thoughts. "Come on. Katniss is waiting for you." I'm puzzled since Johanna, Delly, Effie and Katniss disappeared into the upstairs living quarters once the bakery closed. I was too busy during clean up to notice.

"What's going on, Delly?" I asked.

"I'm so happy for you," she gushed as she wrapped her arms around me. She was up to something; they all were as everyone looked at me with a glint in their eyes. Tamryn tugged at my pant leg.

"Katniss has a surprise for you." She took my hand and walked me to the front door.

She led me outside where Katniss waited for me. "What's going on? I hope that we all would have dinner together. To celebrate."

"Peeta, we'll have a celebratory dinner soon," Haymitch stated as he placed a hand on my shoulder. "Tonight, it's just you and Katniss." He pushed me towards her as she extended her hand to me.

"Do you think you're up for a long walk?" During the lunch hour, Thom led Katniss and I upstairs to tour the second floor. The rooms were spacious designed with a living room area, office, two bedrooms, bathrooms, and upscale kitchen. There was enough room to reconfigure an extra bedroom or art studio. It was more than I expected with Johanna and Mara's design input. After Thom left us after the tour, I immediately pressed Katniss to the nearest wall and rewarded with a long and passionate kiss that left us wanting for more.

"Thank you for being in my life."

She uttered back, "There is no place I would rather be, Peeta." With the promise of more to come, we reluctantly head back downstairs.

"Where?" I asked in anticipation and excitement.

"It's a surprise." She tugged at my hand. Everyone yelled and whistled as she led me away. We walked past the Victory's Village. I frowned hoping that we were heading back home. "Peeta, don't worry. Everyone knows where we are in case of an emergency." I trusted her with my life. It just felt odd not having an escort or someone trailing behind us. We had nothing to fear anymore.

Half an hour later, she led us back to her meadow. At the edge of the field amongst the trees was a tent and blanket. There was even a fire pit. "We're staying here for the night," she announced.

"How did you manage all this?"

"I had a lot of help from Delly, Sae, Effie and Haymitch." That's where Delly disappeared to this morning. I stood around as she went inside the tent. "Be right back," she hollered. A few second later, she came back out holding a large picnic basket. "You want to start a fire. It'll get cold soon." I immediately went to work. Just as she laid out our dinner complete with wine and water. "Sit down."

I sat next to her. "Thank you," I said to her. I was lost for words so reached over and kissed her cheek. We ate our dinner, which consisted roasted beef slices with gravy and vegetables. For dessert, we fed each other with chocolate lava cake with ganache. It was decadent and filling. I was happy with no care in the world that I stood up suddenly startling Katniss.

"Peeta what's wrong."

"Nothing, absolutely nothing." I walked over to a large tree and took out a pocketknife. Since returning, I had the knife on me wherever I went. Curious, Katniss followed.

Twenty minutes later, I had carved out our initials and a date. It was sappy but I wanted to remember this moment in my mind. The moment I would cherish forever. After I was done, Katniss kissed my cheek. I grabbed her by the waist and pressed my body onto hers making her feel my want and desire for her. "I've been wanting you since I woke this morning." I whispered in her ear. She moaned back in respond as I trailed my tongue from her neck down to the middle of chest. I licked her breastbone for emphasis. She grabbed a handful of my hair in the back of my head.

Encouraged, I unzipped the back of her dress undressing her waist up exposing her lacy bra. "Fuck Katniss," I croaked. The bra was sheer black revealing her pert hard nipples through the material. "You're so beautiful." I reached around her back lifting her skirt so I could sneak my hands underneath. My hands felt nothing but skin so I grabbed each butt cheek grinding my hips onto hers. She moaned in lust. Underneath she wore a matching black lacy thong.

"Peeta, I want you." I tongued her breast through her bra. She hissed. "Yes." Then she reached back unsnapping her bra letting it fall down to the floor. With her encouragement, I latched my mouth on the soft mounds. She elicited a sigh of relief and longing as I reached around and pulled her panty aside. My finger swirled around her wet folds avoiding the soft tissue. "More, please. I want more." When it came to her pleasure, she was greedy and wanton. I felt her hands reached between us unbuckling my belt. I grunted as she tried to pull down my pants to my hips. She was so needy that she snuck her hand in my boxer shorts wrapping her warm fingers around my cock.

"Not yet, baby," I groaned in pleasure as I pulled back. She scowled. "I won't last long if you do that. I want to be inside so bad but…I…need you wet, soaking wet." She whimpered. I assaulted her neglected twin while my other hand pinched her wet nipple.

"I miss you touching me. It's been so long." For her patience I pinched her swollen clit between my fingers while a third thrust deep into her center. She cried out in ecstasy. Her shout startled birds within hearing distance. I smile with pride, my ego boosted.

"One," I counted. "One more time." I knelt down in front of her and looked up. Her head was thrown back, her eyes closed as I rubbed my hands up and down her trembling milky white thighs. I bit down the soft pink flesh of an inner thigh; her center glistened from desire. She smelled of lavender and her musky scent. It was intoxicating. Her hands gripped my shoulders. Her pink swollen clit peeked between her folds. I couldn't resist the raspberry shaped tissue nestled between her slippery lips; so I latched my mouth around it causing her to shout out in pleasure once more. "O God, shit." Her hands bracket my head as I worked her with my mouth and tongue cupping both ass cheeks grinding her center to my face. I inhaled the scent of her, my best friend and my lover. "Peeta, Peeta," she chanted my name over and over. Her knees buckled and strained from standing. I placed one leg over my shoulder. She faltered for a second so I placed an arm underneath the leg for support.

"Fuck," she wailed into the air, climaxing. Each syllable prolonged into a cry of desire. She exploded sending a gush of wetness into my mouth. I couldn't wait any longer so I stood up removed my shoes and pants in mad rush to be insider her. My cocked bounced into erectness. Katniss had her eyes closed as her breasts heaved in tandem to her breathing, her back against the tree trunk. She was a glorious sight, her hair a mess and skin glistened with sweat. Without much ado, I grabbed her waist and ripped off her thong. She gasped and opened her eyes as I plunged into her hard and deep. "Oh, fuck Peeta," she shrieked in surprise. She climaxed again, her vaginal muscles milking my cock squeezing me tight.

I closed my eyes tight and counted to ten. I waited for her to adjust to thick hard girth. Her hands grabbed my butt cheeks, her nails digging into the skin. Her gray eyes were dark and stormy filled with lust and desire. "I love you so damn much," I seethed between my teeth. With a slow and measured pace, I slid into her, short and firm thrusts grinding my cock into her pelvic bone. She wrapped her long legs around my waist. The penetration wasn't deep enough so I lifted her up causing her to wrap her legs around me. She crisscrossed her ankles on the small of my back. Her arms locked around my neck while her breasts flattened onto my chest. Her dress gathered around her midsection.

"Blanket," she suggested in a raspy voice, sultry and low. Each step I took lodged my cock deeper inside her. She wailed in response. "Yes, yes, I need you."

I sat down with her astride my lap since I needed her to control our coupling. She removed her dress in one swoop throwing it behind her. In response I shucked off my t-shirt and button down. Her hands pushed me down making me fall backwards. She planted her palms on my chest as she grind her hips downward sliding up and down riding me. Her hair shrouded her face. I grabbed her head and smashed my mouth into hers. She moaned deep and loud while her hips bounced up and down on my cock. Our tongues fought for domination. "Katniss," I repeated between kisses.

"I love you, Peeta. I love you." Her words soothed my weary heart. After everything we've been through since we first got reaped, I never thought I'd have this; her love, trust and desire. The odds were never in my favor. I was prepared to live a lonely life without her. I looked between our bodies as I watched my cock disappear inside her. Her face was in the midst of concentration and lust as her paced quickened. She breathed erratically sending puffs of her though her mouth. "Shit, Peeta I can't…I can't." she mumbled losing control of her thrusts. She was tiring from her position, her legs losing strength as her knees dug onto the hard floor.

I yanked her body downward pressing her chest onto mine. Her ass up in the air I bent my knees and thrust upward sliding in and out of her. She was prone on her elbows and knees, leg wide apart her head rested on my shoulder. The meadow disappeared around us as the only sensation I felt was her delicious tight warm center on my cock. "I love you, Katniss," I whispered into her ear. She lifted her head and kissed me hard as I continued to thrust inside her. She moaned and gasped for breath. She couldn't hold still as her hands sought purchase right above my head. I eyed her bouncing breasts swaying in front of my face.

I surprised her as I grabbed a mound and sucked hard on her rosy nipple. "Fuck, fuck. Don't stop, don't stop." Soon I felt that familiar sign of her orgasm fast approaching. She clutched her hands on my shoulders and her head angled towards the ceiling, her eyes closed. I lost sense of control needing her to climax as my cock pierced in and out of her.

A few seconds later, she screamed loud, her body stiffened. She was a vision as the sun set behind her, an orange glow haloed around her head. Falling from her high, I twisted her around and placed her quivering body on the blanket. With my cock still inside her, I slowed my pace waiting for her to come back to me. Katniss opened her eyes, a dreamy and happy looked crossed her face.

"Hmmm," she moaned as I continued to slide in and out of her in a slow and deliberate pace. "Peeta, you didn't cum."

"Not yet, baby," I said as I leaned down and kissed her soft pliant lips. She felt warm and wet. The last orgasm made her slippery and sensitive as she hissed in pleasure.

"You're incredible," she complimented my prowess and stamina. I smiled back in pride. "I want to feel you cum inside me." I quickened my pace as she locked her legs around my waist. I concentrated on the feel of her legs wrapped around me. "Harder, harder," she demanded. I rose to the occasion as I quickened my pace hard and faster. "Peeta, Peeta." It wasn't enough for me. I wanted her to cum with me.

"Get on your hands and knees," I ordered her as I pulled away. I hissed missing her muscles around my throbbing cock. She complied as she sat up and got onto her hands and knees. Her hair was plastered on her back. I kissed the base of her spine as I reached around and found that kernel of swollen flesh between my fingertips.

I aligned my cock to her center and plunged. "Oh my God," Katniss shrieked.

"Yes," I cried out in ecstasy. I lost all brain function as my body took over plunging and sliding in and out in fast pace. I didn't realize that I had gripped my hands on her slim waist that I left imprints of my fingers on her skin. I heard and felt my hips slapping her skin. The sounds echoed into the air. I missed being inside her. Our lovemaking bordered between pleasure and pain as our screams continued to broadcast our desire for each other. Minutes later, both our screams exploded in the meadow in one final shout of ecstasy.

"Peeta," Katniss wailed as she climaxed once again just I orgasmed. I must have passed out since the next thing I knew Katniss face hovered over him. She had a look of concern and fear on her face. "Peeta, are you okay?"

I smiled back, happy and sated. We were butt naked lying on a blanket in her meadow. I reached over and pulled her face down to me. I kissed her. "I have never felt better in my entire life. I think you killed a shitload of brain cells in my head. I can't think straight." She giggled back. "I forgot my own name."

"I got scared when you passed out. That never happened before."

"You are…just…the sexiest thing I have ever met. Only you can do that to me, render me unconscious that I blacked out." She laughed back. "I love you Katniss Everdeen."

"I love you too, Peeta Mellark," she replied back as she lay beside me, her head rested on my chest.

This was my life now with a family I never expected to have. Haymitch, my former mentor became my father figure with his wife Effie Trinket, our former reaping escort. Johanna Mason and Delly Cartwright became my sisters who had supported and comforted me through the worst and best times of my life. Though I missed my brothers and they could never be replaced, my friendship with Bron Masters and Alex Baylor will be as close to brothers that I will have for the rest of my life.

And as for Katniss Everdeen, there are no words to express how lucky I am to have her in my life. We survived and weathered through two arenas, my hijacking, a rebellion, and Gale. We were stronger together than apart. One day, I'm going ask her to have a toasting with me and bind her life with mine. Will be children? It's too soon to tell. For now I will live my life one day at a time, treasuring each moment. Love, friendship and family were my reward.

When I first arrived in District 12, I had dreamt of a meadow; of Katniss ending my life with a flick of an arrow embedded in my chest. I was lost and alone. Today, all my dreams and fantasies have come true. There are no more reapings or games. No battles to be fought or horrors to over come. Today my life began with a home, a family, a business that I love and with Katniss by my side. There was nothing more I could ask for.

I looked down to find Katniss fast asleep. In a few minutes I'll carry her over to the tent as we'll spend the night in the meadow. For now, I'll watch sun set into the horizon with the love of my life in my arms. As our story began we'll live, love, and protect each other. It's what we've done and will always do for the rest of our lives.

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_**AN: My eternal thanks for everyone who has reviewed, followed and alerted, 'The Weary.' You know who you all are. I'm sad for it to come to an end. I hoped I didn't disappoint you. Thanks again to everyone who patiently and devotedly followed me in this journey. Have a great week. **_

_**Acknowledgment: To my best friend, my muse and my fiance who I will always be forever grateful to have him in my life. Thank you for being my sounding board and my best friend. I couldn't have finished this without you. You're my Peeta to my Katniss.**_


	58. Chapter 58 - Epilgoue 2

The Weary Heart

Epilogue 2 – Happy is the Heart That Loves Fearlessly

AN: So…this is the final installment of 'The Weary Heart,' ;) ;) This second epilogue is rated M for a lot of handholding and… lol. You guess sexual references. Hunger Games solely belongs to Suzanne Collins. And for the last time, on with the show.

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**Haymitch POV ––**

"Haymitch, I can't find Peeta?" She barged into my home. She wore long pants and button down shirt that belonged to him, as she had to roll the sleeves up her arms. I sighed in resignation. It was early in the morning. Too early as she pounded on our door waking Effie and I up. She was a mess with her uncombed, tears and snot on her face and a look I haven't seen in a while––fear.

"What do you mean, you can't find Peeta?" I asked confused and scared. It was been a year since our ordeal with Eva and Gale. One year of peace and harmony with no drama or any major traumatic experience like a madman taunting Peeta or an obsessed female stalking him. For the last few months Gale requested to see and talk to Peeta and Katniss, but they both refused his request. I couldn't blame them. Once they left Gale in his cell, it was the last they hoped to see or hear from him.

"What happened Katniss?" Effie asked her voice calm and soft. My beautiful wife stood right beside me with her head resting on my bicep. She was cognizant enough to wrap a blue bathrobe around her.

"Last night…he…he…" she stopped and burst into tears again. I waited for her to explain but I had an idea the cause of her turmoil. She wasn't forthcoming so I pushed her. "He left the house last night and he hasn't come home since. I went to the bakery and he's not there." Effie led her to our living room. I went to the kitchen and got her a glass of water, which she refused. Effie had an arm around her shoulders as she continued to sob hysterically.

"Tell me you didn't," I said with a tinge of anger in my voice as I lost patience. These two were bound to drive me back to drink. Mind you, since Peeta's ordeal I had been sober and Effie would divorce me if went back to my alcoholic binges. "Tell me you didn't say no to Peeta?"

"How…did you know?" she responded back. "You knew he was going to…"

"Know about what?" Effie asked frustrated and impatiently.

"Katniss?" I waited again. It wasn't my news to tell.

"What's going on Haymitch?" Effie interrupted.

"Peeta…we…he…last night," she hiccupped as she was lost for words but she needed to finish. "He…proposed and I…"

"And you said no," I continued for her. Effie gasped in shock.

"You said no? Why? I don't understand." Katniss fell into another barrage of tears. A week before Peeta sought me out for advice, he wanted to know if it was a good idea to ask her to marry him. I asked whether they had every broached the topic and Peeta said that Katniss would dodge or evade answering. If that wasn't a clue that she wasn't ready to get married, then I didn't know what else Peeta needed to know her state of mind I in regards to marriage. But he was so crazy in love with her that he was blind to her evasions. I knew he was going to propose last night but I had never anticipated that he would run from her refusal. She was the runner not Peeta.

"You love Peeta," Effie continued. "Don't you want to marry him?"

"No, yes…I don't know. He caught me off guard," Katniss whined as fresh tears brimmed her face. She wiped her nose on her shirtsleeve. Eww…she was a messy crier. "When…I didn't…couldn't answer him. He left the house and he hasn't come back. I've been waiting for him to come home."

"Holy fuck." I sighed.

"Oh, Katniss. What are you scared of?" Effie asked direct and to the point. "You love Peeta so much just as much as he loves you. You're so crazy in love together."

"I love him so much," she bawled. "And I screwed up. I should have…I should have explained instead of…" She closed her eyes tight. "I didn't mean to hurt him."

"What did you do, Katniss?" I asked again. Shit, I hated this kind of drama. Why can't these two just…be like other normal people? Except these weren't like other normal people. They were Peeta Mellark and Katniss Everdeen, the Star Crossed Lovers of District 12––the boy who sacrificed his life for her and the girl who was the face of a revolution. Nope, they weren't normal. They were legends in Panem written in history books for generations to learn in school always to remind us of the horrors that we endured from Snow and the Capitol.

"When he asked I freaked out and locked myself in our bedroom," she cried. "He didn't come after me. I waited until I calmed down and went downstairs and…he was gone. And he hasn't been home since." She stood up and grabbed my shirt. "Haymitch, please help me look for him. What if he's out there hurt and can't come home? What if––"

"Katniss, calm down," Effie stated as she sat her down again and extended a tissue to her. Katniss grabbed it then wiped her nose. "I can't lose him, I just can't. I'll do anything he wants and I won't…I'll say yes. I promise I will if he'll just come home."

"Well, that's not…listen. I'm going to go get Bron and Alec to help maybe he's visiting one of them," I suggested. She stopped crying and looked at me like I've grown another head.

"Oh, I didn't…I didn't think of that," she said as she wiped her eyes then stood up.

"Hey, wait a second, you're not going over there," I called out to her. "Do you even know what time it is?" She turned her head and looked around for a clock. It was 6 am. I doubted that Delly or Johanna was up at this time.

"Haymitch, I can't wait. If Peeta is at Delly's or Johanna's I want to bring him home," she pleaded. She gave me that look that I couldn't deny her anything.

"Why don't we call them instead of getting them out of bed?" Effie suggested. "And if he's not there you know that they'll be worried about Peeta going missing." I nodded my head in agreement, but Katniss was indecisive. She wanted to knock down the door and search their home for Peeta. She was not patient.

After two calls with both Delly and Johanna's confirming that they haven't seen Peeta, I started to panic. I mean really panic. I haven't felt this helpless or scared since the first time he was abducted after he came home from the Capitol.

"Everyone's worried…so…they're all wide awake now and want to help look for Peeta," I recounted. Johanna was pissed as hell that Peeta was missing.

"Bron is going to send Guardsmen to look for him but I told him not to," I said. Katniss and Effie were startled at my remark. "Listen, I really believe that he's not hurt or…he just needed the time and space to think. Besides, do you really want the public to know that he's missing? That news will reach the Flickerman so fast. Paylor will send troops to find him. We don't need that kind of drama.

"Haymitch is right," Effie agreed with me. "Peeta probably needed time and space to think. I mean you did reject his marriage proposal." Katniss bawled at her comment making matter worse.

"Effie!" I scolded her. "You didn't have to say that."

"Well, she did turn him down. It's the truth," she defended herself.

"I know, I know and I'm sorry," Katniss cried. "Please help me look for him." It was too bad that Peeta wasn't using his wristband. We could have easily tracked him down. I didn't mention that since he hated wearing it, now that he had better control of his episodes which he hadn't suffered in months.

"Anyway, I told Bron to send two of his guys, guys he trusts to look for him in town."

"I'm going to kill myself when we find him," Johanna bit out in anger and fear for his safety. "Alec and I will go the bakery to see if he's there." She and Alec arrived a few minutes later dressed and prepared to search for Peeta. Delly couldn't help since she had to stay home with their newborn who was just a few months old.

"Katniss said that the first place she looked and he's not there," I informed her.

"Oh my God, Haymitch. Where is he?" Katniss cried out. "This is all my fault. I should have…I shouldn't have run from him and––"

"Oh Katniss, please don't tell me that you turned him down," Johanna accused her.

"You knew?" Katniss replied back in surprise. "Did everyone know?"

"He's been talking about for months," she returned. "He only confided in Haymitch and myself since you know, Delly can't keep a secret." The revelation just caused Katniss to cry hysterically.

"I didn't…oh God, what have I done?" she asked herself.

"Hey, don't…don't panic. Let's go looking for your wayward boyfriend, okay?" I said as I tried to stay calm and collect. Visions of Peeta hurt or worse dead swam in my head. I shook head trying to stay positive.

Alec and Johanna looked at the perimeter of the woods while Bron and his buddies searched for him at the Everdeen park. We looked everywhere but one place we dreaded to look––the med center. Kara was on duty so Katniss, Effie and I went straight to her office.

"Oh, hello everyone, she greeted us. "I was wondering when you were coming over?"

"Huh, why were you expecting us?" I asked dreading my premonition. Peeta was here I could feel in it my bones. So could Katniss as fear and terror filled her anxious face.

"Where is he?" she asked. "Why didn't you call me? I've been looking for him all night." Fear turned to anger as Katniss confronted our friend. "Do you have any idea how worried I've been?" Kara glanced back at Katniss in a calm and stoic manner.

"When he arrived here he was in a serious state," she explained. Her arms were crossed over her chest. "He was close to having an episode so––"

"Oh my God, Peeta how is he?" Katniss cried in despair. "Is he…is he okay?"

"I had to sedate him for a couple of hours since it was pretty bad…I don't think I've seen him in this state in a long time, but he was clearly coherent enough to walk here by himself and ask for me. I was home and when the clinic called so all I know was that he asked for me and didn't want any else."

"How bad was it?" I inquired. It never dawned on me that he had suffered an episode after Katniss rejection of his proposal. I didn't think it would cause it. Katniss was devastated as her hands shook.

"Did he tell you why he…" Katniss asked.

"No, but I knew…that you and he must have had an…conversation or incident that caused him to come on his own without you. It's none of my business really." She glanced at her watch. "I stayed with him until he fell asleep so if you want––"

"Take me to him now," she demanded. The walk to him room felt like forever. Peeta suffered an episode from last night. The idea boggled my mind. What ran through his head when Katniss unintentionally rejected him must have hurt him badly to regress. I could see the pain and guilt in her face.

Once the door to Peeta's room was opened, she ran over to him. Peeta had an IV attached to his arm. Effie and I gasped at his appearance. His arms and legs were strapped down. This was worse than seeing him in District 13. Seeing him like this was a painful reminder of how I failed him. "Peeta," Katniss sobbed at the sight of him.

"Hey, Katniss," he replied back his voice soft and low and his eyes glossed over.

"I'm so sorry. Please forgive me." She laid her head on his chest as she climbed on to the bed to get closer to him. "I'm sorry."

"Katniss, watch his for IV," Kara reprimanded her. "Ordinarily I would order you to get off the bed, but I know you'd just ignore me." She was right. No one could tell her what to do especially when it came to Peeta.

"Why didn't you come and tell me you were here," she voiced anger and fear laced her tone. "When you didn't come home, I stayed up all night waiting for you."

"That's my fault, Katniss," Kara interjected.

"I told her not to," Peeta admitted. Katniss lifted her head from his chest. There was hurt and anger in her eyes. Hurt won over as fresh tears ran down her eyes. "I didn't do it to hurt you. I was…really in a bad state. I didn't want you to see like this. I thought my episode was going to go away but…I didn't realize how bad it was until I woke up like this." He gestured to his restraints. "I never want you to see me having an episode."

"But Kara should have called me later," she pointed out to her. "When you didn't come home I thought…I thought…"

"Shh, I'm okay, Katniss. I have a little headache but I'm fine now. Kara said that I can go home as long as my blood work checks out."

"Don't ever walk out like that Peeta," she scolded him. Peeta glared back at her.

"Don't lock me out of our room, Katniss. It's not fair that you can run and hide from me when I want to talk things through." He sighed. "I don't deserve that."

"Okay, this is where Effie and I are going to go home and back to soft comfy bed," I announced. "You interrupted us." Effie slapped my arm. "What? We were asleep when Katniss interrupted us. What do you think I was going to say?"

"You were insinuating something," she retorted a brow lifted on her makeup free face. I loved that she was comfortable to leave our home with no makeup on. She knew her priorities.

"You, Mrs. Abernathy have a dirty mind," I teased her. "I wasn't insinuating anything."

I love Effie but sleep was one thing I never compromised. I never had much of it before the rebellion. Now with her beside me, I slept like a baby. "Besides, these two lovebirds need privacy." I grabbed Effie by the elbow and walked her out the room.

"Haymitch?" Katniss' voice stopped me in my tracks, as we were about to walk through the door. She stood up and ran over to me. Once she reached me she wrapped her arms around my waist. "Thank you. Thank you for being here whenever I needed you. You, Effie and everyone. Tell them thank you." I patted her back in reassurance. She walked back to Peeta and lay down beside him. Kara shook her head knowing defeat.

Later that afternoon, Katniss and Peeta knocked on our door once again. "I see they let you loose," I directed to Peeta. They both had backpack on their backs. "Going someplace?"

"Yeah, we came by to let you know that we're heading over the ridge for a couple of days," Peeta explained.

"Do you think that's a good idea? I mean, you were just released a couple of hours ago." Everyone was on edge as we waited for news for Peeta. When we saw them arrived home, Delly, Bron, Johanna and Alec ran out of their homes to greet them.

Effie and I watched their interaction from our window. Delly screamed at him for scaring her while Johanna threatened his life. Yup, everything was back to normal.

"Peeta and I need to get away and have alone time," Katniss admitted. "We're not going far. Just at the ridge. I promise we won't go anywhere else. And if you're worried we turned on the GPS on our backpacks. So you can track and keep an eye on us."

"It's a wonderful idea," Effie added. "Go and have a wonderful time. Stay safe and let us know when you're back." She hugged them both. When she released Peeta she bracketed his face with both her hands. "Take care of each other."

"Always," Peeta responded. He turned and walked down the steps. I watched them walk away for a few seconds. Katniss tapped his hand a couple of times as if she was trying to get his attention. Their movements were slow and deliberate. You could tell that things between them were raw and awkward. I could have sworn that Katniss was close to tears before Peeta grabbed her hand when she thought he was ignoring her.

"Yup, those two are still trying to kill me," I muttered to myself.

* * *

**Katniss POV –– **

A year later

"Peeta, I have to go," I muttered between his soft, plump lips. He had his strong lean arms wrapped around my waist as he angled his head for a deeper kiss.

"Just another minute," he breathed back as he bit my upper lip.

I groaned in frustration and need. "Peeta," I sighed as returned kiss for kiss.

"You just…you look so beautiful," he whispered. He pulled back and caressed my hair that cascaded over my shoulders. I felt his length solid and firm harden between my legs.

"If I don't go now, I'll never leave," I whined, a harsh breath escaped my quivering lips. The thought appealed to me. However… "Delly is going to kill me if I don't show up."

"Just tell her it's my fault that you're late," he challenged me. The idea staying home and return to our soft, large bed was tempting. But my Peeta had other ideas.

"I…Peeta…please," I sighed as his hands reached down and lifted the hem of my dress. His talented and deft fingers pulled my panties aside. "Oh…God." A finger grazed my shaved, wet center. Shaving was one thing I never thought I ever do, it was a habit I added to my list of 'things that drove Peeta crazy.' Mind you, both of Delly and Johanna convinced me that I would be rewarded for my sacrifice. It was a sacrifice worth doing whenever Peeta and I were behind closed doors. Take this moment for example. A happy Peeta is also an amorous Peeta. Yay, me.

"Fuck." My head lolled back as he reached inside and worked the bundle of nerves he knew so well. Between his index finger and thumb he rubbed and pinched while a third finger was thrust inside me. He was persistent in driving me mad or until I came screaming into his open mouth. "Peeta, oh my God…I want…"

"Now you can go," he said with a smirk on his face as he licked his fingers. I looked to notice a large bulge inside his pants. "I wanted to give you a proper send off."

"But––" Stunned and lost for words, I opened my mouth but was thwarted when he kissed me again. Once the world was back on its axis I was able to form sentences.

My mind was on tailspin as I tried to even out my breathing. I didn't want to leave him alone in our house. After two years, I still never wanted to be parted from him longer than necessary. There had been one morning when I woke up in our bed to find him not beside me. I was in a state of panic and fear as I raced around the house looking for him. The memory still fresh in my mind.

_Frantic, I ran to the bakery with only a t-shirt and shorts. When I arrived I was a mess with tears and snot running down my face. It was a good thing the bakery wasn't opened yet when I cried in relief as he took me in his arms. Peeta had a look of fear and panic as he noticed my miserable and terrified state. _

"_Katniss, what wrong baby?" he asked as his arms tightened around me. "Are you hurt, please tell me what happened?" His hands were covered with flour and dough. He smelled of sunshine and bread. I clutched him so hard I wouldn't have been surprised if he felt my heart beating on his chest. _

"_I woke up and you were gone," I blubbered as I pressed my body close. "I didn't know where you were and I got scared. You were gone and I couldn't find you." My body shook with relief and fear. "I got so scare that something happened to you…that someone took you away from me." I wiped my face on his shirt. Even though it has been months since our ordeal with Gale, the fear of losing him was strong. _

"_Oh, Katniss," he sighed. He peppered my wet face with kisses. "Honey, I told you last night that I was going to the bakery early this morning." He cradled both his hands on the sides of my face looking into my eyes. "I'm sorry you woke and found me gone, but as you can see I'm okay. You're okay." His reassurance wasn't enough as I laid my head on his broad shoulder relishing the feel of his strong lean body against mine. Once I was calm Peeta led me to the bedroom located at the second floor of the bakery. He stayed with me long enough to help me clean my dirty, bruised feet. That day I stayed upstairs so I could be near him. Hunting meant leaving his side which was the last thing on my mind._

_Since then, he always woke me up to let me know he was leaving no matter what time it was. I hated waking up alone without him beside me and not knowing where he was._

"Go," he said as he kissed me sweet and short sending shivers up my spine. "Alec and I will be busy while you're at the party. We will be delivering Delly's cake this afternoon, remember?" He was making last minute details for Delly's party. Reluctantly, I gave him a kiss and walked to her house.

Hours later, I sighed and took a deep and cleansing breath. I'm bored to tears wincing every time one of her new friends shrieked from joy or amusement. Delly talked a mile a minute next to Effie as they talked about details of her upcoming marriage to Bron.

I'm in the middle of a room filled with nothing but giggling women dressed in array of pink, yellow and baby blue taffeta attending Delly's bridal shower. Johanna and I were the only ones dressed in dark solid color. She wore a long, black tunic shirt and pants. As for me, Peeta had chosen my attire for the day. He had surprised me one-week prior with a present. I remembered the shy smile he had on his face as he presented the box to me. I took a slow sip of wine that was served at the shower. A smile crossed my face as I thought of the day Peeta handed me a gift for no apparent reason.

_All day Peeta was restless and anxious as he kept looking at the front door. It was Sunday and the bakery was closed for the day. The bakery was opened six days a week with Sunday for cleaning and cooling the ovens. Alec who Peeta made a co-owner of the bakery was scheduled for that weekend since they took turns every other week. We lazily stayed in bed and satiated a different kind of hunger until our stomach demanded sustenance. After breakfast it was clear to me that he was nervous. Since opening the bakery, our schedules had us occupied during the day as Peeta worked while I hunted in the morning, met him for lunch then, did housework for the rest of the day. It was a routine we stuck with for the past two years. I have never felt so some complete or happy in my life. It was almost perfect._

_Because of his restlessness I managed to settle him down by having us read a book together. Or rather I read while he laid his head on my lap as he stared at me. His blue eyes glued to my lips and his hand played with the tip of my braided hair. To think that this type of intimacy I shunned because I was convinced that it would make me weak and vulnerable. I was wrong. Gale was wrong when he assumed that I would chose one of them out of survival. I could have survived living without Peeta. But with that choice my life would have been empty not knowing the joy, comfort and love that he offered me every day. I chose Peeta not out of survival but because I loved him._

"_Peeta, stop staring. It's creepy," I scolded him in a playful manner as I hid a smile behind my scowl. I loved how he still looked at me the same way since we've met, the way his eyes lingered on my skin as if he was caressing me._

"_I can't help it," he admitted. "You're beautiful." His eyes were soft as they crinkled at the edges. There was awe and adoration behind his stare. It was still there after everything we've been through two years later. I swore the fire between was hotter than ever. I couldn't get enough of him._

"_You're distracting me," I returned with a blush on my cheeks._

"_It's not my fault you can't concentrate," he blustered. "I'm listening to you read to me." I was pleased that his restlessness was abated for a few moments. A familiar ache surfaced betweens my legs. He already had his way with me this morning as he took me from behind. We're spooned together his chest to my back. I had one hand extended gripping his hand into mine while his other hand was buried between my legs. I shivered at the memory of his thick long cock lazily thrusting from behind me. I could still feel the ghost of length still buried inside me. Just as I was about to lean down and kiss him, someone knocked on our door. I was startled as he jumped off the sofa to answer it. He left me frustrated and wanting, as he came back with a big goofy smile on his face and large white box in his hands._

"_Peeta, what is this?" I gasped in surprise. The box was rectangular in shape and had a beautiful dark green bow on top. It wasn't fancy but simple as the white box contrasted against the green bow. After his experience with Gale, it took a long time for him to look at a white box. Now, as long as it had a difference color bow, he didn't flinch or panic when it appeared on our door. As long as it wasn't also long and rectangular he was fine._

"_It's a present," he smirked with joy and amusement in his eyes. "For you." I thought back thinking did I miss his birthday or some anniversary? _

"_I know that it's a present," I said back with a touch of annoyance. Since entering into a relationship with Peeta, I discovered that he was the romantic one––breakfast in bed, flowers arrangements on our dinner table, quiet walks with his arm around me and romantic dinners together even after a long day at the bakery. Peeta always found ways to surprise me with dinners or picnics in celebration of some significant moments in our lives––the first time we made love, our first real date and sometimes he'd said say, 'just because.' He was an awesome boyfriend––not perfect because no one is perfect, but he was perfect for me. Two years later and I still got chills when he looked at me or touched me. He was a romantic with a voracious sexual appetite. Did I say he was an awesome boyfriend? Um…I'll get back to that later as I felt the temperature in room grew hot and the need between my legs ached thinking about him. Phew! Where was I before my mind traveled elsewhere? _

"_I know that you're not looking forward to going to Delly's shower," he said. I scoffed. The idea of going was not on my list of priorities. As a matter a fact, it wasn't a priority. But since she was Peeta's closest childhood friend from District 12 and she had become a true and trusted friend for me as well, how could I deny her? She like Johanna had stuck by Peeta through the worst time of his life. A time when I ignored and resented him for not being the Boy with the Bread that I loved when he was rescued from the Capitol. For their undying devotion and friendship with Peeta I could never repay them for watching over him and loving him despite what the Capitol had done to him. So I agreed to attend her shower and I'm even a…bride's maid. Whatever that meant?_

"_I hope you like it," he said as he bit his lower lip. I reached over and cupped his face in my hand as I tilted my head. Reading my mind, he leaned down and kissed me brushing his tongue on my upper lip. The kiss was short and sweet but left me wanting. "Katniss?"_

"_Hmm?" I mumbled on his mouth. I thought of starting round two as my hand reached for his belt buckle. _

"_The present," he returned. "Open it, please?" He was genuinely nervous._

_Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and tried to contain my ardor for him. He sat beside me and placed the box on my lap. I plucked the bow off the box and wedged the lid upward. Layers of white tissue hid my surprise. With my fingertips I peeled a layer to reveal a dress. _

"_Peeta?" I gasped as I lifted the dress from the box. "It's beautiful." The dark green knee length dress suited me. It wasn't frilly, fancy of revealing. It was perfect. Underneath the dress was a pair of two inch nude color heels that complimented the dress. _

"_I asked Effie for help," he admitted. "I mean, I picked it myself but I wanted to make sure it fit you perfectly. So she made sure it was your size." _

"_It is perfect, Peeta." I remembered the day when Peeta took us shopping while we were in disguise. We were having our first real date, one without chaperones or a camera taping us, an honest to goodness date that was just for the two of us. It was risky at the time but worth it. We both chose each other's attire for our date. He had picked out the perfect dressed that complimented the suit I chose for him. We matched._

"_Do you like it?" he started. "I mean, if you don't like the color or style, I'm sure Effie can help get you another one before the party." _

"_Peeta, it's beautiful," I complimented him. My boyfriend knew my taste in clothes. He should considering the times he stripped them off me. He was meticulous in his choices preferring zippers to buttons as it helped him ease the dress off me when he was in a hurry to ravage me. Let just say that we spent the rest of the day behind closed doors in our bedroom only seeking replenishment for our satiated bodies. How else could I thank him for giving such a wonderful gift?_

I sighed in longing for him. Images of his hands and lips all over my body made me wish that I was with him at home in our bed. The orgasm I experienced hours before left me anxious as I yearned to be with him. At least I'll get to see him as he and Alec delivered her cake later this afternoon.

So here I was surrounded with Delly's new friends. The friends she met since living in and working in District 12. They all took turns cooing and admiring her baby girl. I wasn't surprised when she and mini-Delly matched from the pink bows on their head to the shoes on their feet. They looked adorable. Rebecca Cartwright was blond; blue eyed exact duplicate of Delly. She came in to the world kicking and screaming as her parents looked at her adoringly. Rebecca was perfect combination of her parent's features as she inherited from her father his nose, ears and lips. Haymitch teased her claiming their next child if it was a boy would look like Bron but with her lips, nose and ears. Either way he or she would be adorable.

I looked around the room to find Effie beside Delly as she took charge writing down a list of the gifts she received and who gave them. Kara sat a chair sipping a glass of wine. I was pleased that Kara had decided to remain at 12 as Peeta and my primary physician as I couldn't trust anyone after his ordeal with Gale and Eva. So much has happened since then.

The road to Bron and Delly's reunion was hard and tumultuous. She kept Bron at bay for months until she broke down in the middle of delivering her baby. She cried, screamed and threatened him for hours. Her emotions were all over the place. Months before she gave birth, she debated whether Bron would be with her in the delivery room. Peeta never encouraged or discouraged her in taking him back. I was with him that day when she cried in his arms confused over her dilemma with her former fiance.

"_Delly, it's not up to me to tell you how you feel about Bron," he told her as she cried the first time when she heard her child's heartbeat. She had asked both Peeta and I to accompany her when she had her first appointment in District 12. Bron was visiting his parents at the time. Realizing the life ahead of her and thinking about raising a child alone was one thing, but the reality of the situation was another. Could she raise her baby without Bron?_

"_I can't do this alone, Peeta," she confessed. "How am I going to raise this child on my own?"_

"_You won't, Delly. You're not alone," Peeta said. "You have Haymitch, Effie, Johanna, Katniss and me. We're not going anywhere. Your baby will be spoiled by everyone and will have best aunts and uncles to watch over her." He paused and rubbed her back, a gesture all to familiar when he comforted me. There was nothing intimate in the way he held her. "Delly, you have Bron. He is the father of your baby. You have to remember that. He will stand by your side in raising your child together whether you take him back or not."_

"_What if I only want Bron back so I won't raise my baby alone," she cried. "I don't want to take him back for the wrong reason. I love Bron, I still do but…what if this is just my hormones talking."_

"_Delly, your priority should be the baby first and foremost. Don't push yourself; you don't have to decide now. Trust yourself to make the right decision for you, Bron and your baby." It was sound advice._

One year later and with the child between them, their relationship grew cementing and solidifying a stronger bond, one out of honesty. We experienced their cries of joy and tears as they fought to find themselves again. It wasn't easy watching them as they pulled and pushed each other, but in the end it was the love that had for each other that brought them back together.

Within a week Delly, Bron and their little girl, Rebecca will be binding their life together in a small ceremony in the Justice Building and a private toasting in their home at the Victor's Village. Johanna bristled when Delly asked her to be her Maid of Honor.

"Your timing sucks," she told her. As for Johanna, by the time of the wedding ceremony she would be eight months pregnant carrying Alec's child. "I'm going to be fat as a cow by then."

"Speaking of which," Haymitch started. "When is Alec going to make an honest woman out of you?" Johanna narrowed her eyes.

"Fuck you, Haymitch," Johanna retaliated. I ignored the jabs and comments they made at each other.

"How are you holding up," Johanna interrupted my thoughts. The glass of wine in my hand was half empty. I sequestered myself at another part of the house away from the giggling and squealing girls as Delly opened up the rest of her gifts. "God, this room is driving me to drink." She had a hand on her belly rubbing it up and down on her protruding stomach. She was large for eight months, as she looked ready to burst. We often teased her that she and Alec were having twins.

A loud squeal pierced the air. It was Delly as she held black lingerie in her hands. She stood up and placed the piece in front of body sashaying her hips. "Bron is going to fall on his face when he sees you wearing that," one of her new friends shrieked with amusement. I flinched as several girls laughed back in amusement.

Johanna burst out laughing beside me. She startled me. "What?"

"If you could see the look on your face," she chortled. "You look like you've never seen lingerie before." I scowled back at her not amused by her tease.

"I seem to recall the day after you had surprised Peeta on his birthday," she remembered. "A little teeny tiny dark orange lingerie that practically hid nothing. You know the one your wore and the next day when you were kinda walking funny." I shoulder bumped her sending her into another fit of rambunctious laughter. "Come to think of it, Peeta had all those scratches all over his––"

"Stop, Johanna," I threatened her. "Or all I'll tell Alec of the time you I caught you two on my backyard."

Johanna stopped laughing. "Don't you dare?" Her eyes grew large. "You know how Alec gets when I talk about our sex life?" Alec was the complete opposite of Johanna. She had no qualms talking about their sexual escapades between Delly and me. However, Alec was embarrassed and horrified. He wasn't used to the blatant references or conversation when it came to sex. It probably didn't help that he grew up with strict puritan parents that believed that sex was mainly for reproduction and not for pleasure.

Johanna quickly converted him in her ways as long as we never talked about our sex life in front of him. Not that I minded since I consider my relations to Peeta were sacred and private. She took great pleasure in regaling us stories of their exploits. Hence the product of their activity was soon to arrive next month. His parents were displeased that they produced a child out of wedlock. The more his parents pushed for them to marry the more Johanna resisted. No one, not even Alec could pressure her to marry him even when she loved him to pieces.

Their early courtship or relationship mimicked Peeta and mine's long hard road together. She resisted him from the start denying her attraction to him. Sounds familiar? It was difficult to watch her make the same mistakes since it reminded my how stubborn was I with Peeta as I denied my developing feeling for him. Johanna fell for Alec. It was clear to see whenever she was around him. No amount of denial in the world could prevent them from being together as if they were fated just like Peeta and me. We all laughed when she found any excuse to visit the bakery, as she demanded that her visits were purely to check on Peeta.

Alec stuck to his guns and courted her until she relented. Presently, he and Johanna moved into my old home as I moved into Peeta's new house.

Peeta, Bron and Alec forged a deep friendship between them. I was glad that he had male friends beside Haymitch. At Bron's stag party Peeta was adorably drunk his cheeks red, lips pouty and eyes glazed.

"_What do you think they're doing now?" Delly asked. I invited Effie, Kara and Johanna over for dinner as the boys were away at Bron's stag party. The meal was quiet and subdued as we helped ourselves to three bottles of wine. The dinner itself was simple––spaghetti with meat sauce with a large batch of Peeta's Cheese buns. As for dessert, he made Tiramisu to accompany our meal. The dinner felt odd without our prospective significant others. I wasn't used to not having Peeta with me. _

"_Alec said that Peeta was sworn by someone to not have any skimpy half naked women tonight so…I don't know what they could be doing," Johanna mentioned as she absently rubbed her swollen belly. "What kind of stag party are they having without half naked women dancing?" 'Oh, they better not be having those skanks near my Peeta,' my mind echoed. 'Effie would have a fit.' "Makes me wonder how Alec is holding up."_

_Was she missing Alec the same as I missed Peeta this evening? Since they have moved in together, she was clingy––a side of her I never thought I thought existed. Maybe it's because of her pregnancy._

"_They better not have some skanky women running around while they drink themselves to oblivion. I trust Haymitch, those type of girls, I don't," Effie countered. 'You tell 'em Effie.'_

"_Knowing our boyfriends," Johanna continued as she gestured to me. "They'll eat, drink and start a baking contest." She giggled. That was something new. Since she fell for Alec there was a side of her that she revealed to us––a softer and gentler side. _

"_Oh, Johanna," Delly spoke. "You really don't know Peeta that well do you?" _

"_And what is that supposed to mean?" I asked. I knew that my Boy with the Bread was honest, kind and gentle person, but he was far from boring or some stick in the mud. I couldn't tell what she was insinuating._

"_I have an idea?" Delly sputtered not answering my question. "Let's go over to your house and see what their doing?" She addressed Johanna._

"_Oh, you mean spy on them?" Johanna confirmed. "That's an awesome idea. I want to know what their doing. It's got to be more exciting than what we're doing."_

"_You are not going over there to spy on them," Effie berated her. "What an idea? What are you going to say if they catch you spying on them?"_

"_Don't take this personally but I'm bored," Johanna whined. "They're probably having a blast over there."_

"_Johanna, what are you doing to do when you go over there?" Kara added. "It's not like you can drink anything."_

"_I know that, Kara," she returned in frustration. "Just don't mind me pregnant with my hormones running all over the place. I miss…I just want…" Just like any hormonal pregnant female I have ever encountered Johanna was no different. She was happy one minute then pissed the next. With Delly she cried when she was happy and cried when she was sad. We couldn't tell the difference._

"_Aww, you miss Alec," Delly teased and made kissy faces and sounds. "Remember that's how you got into your predicament." Pointing at her belly. "You sure you're not having twins?"_

"_Hey, watch Delly Cartwright. Don't joke about things like that. I seem to recall someone being extremely hormonal when she was pregnant. Drove everyone crazy. Demanding for Peeta's cheese buns when we all know that only Katniss can make those demands." I scowled at those memories when I caught her pilfering a plate from my dinner table to take home. _

"_I was cute pregnant and hormonal," Delly defended herself. "At least I didn't go around waving a knife at people when she got pissy and demanded that Alec make chocolate cupcakes at odd hours of the night. Then threatened to cut off his––"_

"_I may be pregnant but I'm still me. And don't you forget it." Even though she was pregnant Johanna carried a knife with her wherever she went. Alec couldn't break her of that habit. After years of being a victor, you couldn't remove or forget that part of your life no matter how you tried or how many years that rolled by. Peeta and I could attest to that as our nightmares though they seldom appeared, we still managed to have them._

_Suddenly she stood up. "Okay who's coming with me?" she asked as she adjusted her tunic shirt that rid up displaying her bump. Without any hesitation I stood up and joined her just as Delly rose from the sofa._

"_Where do you think you're going?" Effie asked with a smirk on her face. "Who's going to watch Rebecca?" Her petite hand grabbed Delly's causing her to fall back on the sofa._

"_Oh, I thought that maybe Auntie Effie––" Aunt Effie shook her head. Rebecca was currently in her baby carriage fast asleep. Hence the reason for our quiet and boring evening as Johanna mentioned._

"_I love your little girl more than anything Delly but…I'm not about to stay here and have her wake up to find mommy and daddy not home. My ears haven't recovered from the last time." Last week Bron and Delly went out for the first time after she was born for an imposed 'date night.' I guess it was too soon as Rebecca woke up and discovered that Uncle Haymitch and Auntie Effie was not enough to settle her down when she wanted was her parents. She cried for a couple of hours until Haymitch recruited Peeta and I. Why? I don't know but it worked as Peeta held Rebecca in his arms cooing and soothing her. She must have recognized his blond hair and blue eyes as a source of comfort and familiarity._

"_Phooey then," she pouted as she crossed her arms in front of her chest._

"_Let's go check up on our boyfriends," Johanna commanded as she turned and walked out the door with me right behind her._

_The walk was short, 30 yards to be exact. We entered through the back door having easy access since Haymitch didn't remove the security feature he had Beetee installed two years prior. We never trespassed anyone's home without permission. Haymitch soon found out that fact as he caught Peeta and I in what Peeta described as in' delicto flagrante' right in front of our fireplace in the middle of the day. He never made that mistake again. However, we entered each other's home only in cases of emergency or this in case to spy on our significant others._

_Not that I didn't trust Peeta. He was beyond loyal and trustworthy. I knew that. I never had to worry of him straying since we loved each other so much._

_With hunter's grace and stealth, Johanna and I tiptoed through the kitchen and peered into the dining area. Empty. It was eerily quiet as well._

"_Where are they?" Johanna whispered. I shrugged my shoulders. I strained my neck hoping to find a clue or any evidence of their presence in the house. I could hear music in the background and…women giggling?_

"_You got to be kidding me?" Johanna stated when she heard what I heard. "Those motherfuckers lied––" She was so angry that she didn't even stop to finish her sentence when she stomped over to the room where we found…_

_Bron, Haymitch, Alec sitting at a table playing…poker? Peeta was nowhere in sight. The rest of Bron's friends had the Capitol monitor on in viewing room where on the screen was a group of women and men having an..orgy. Bron's friends were watching porn at his bachelor party. _

"_Johanna, is everything all right? What are you doing here?" Alec stood up and went straight to his girlfriend concern and fear on his face. Haymitch smirked._

"_Checking up on us I see."_

"_Where's Peeta?" was my only question and concern as I ignored everyone._

"_He went to the loo," Haymitch informed me. "You might want to check up on him. He's been in there for a while." My brows furrowed in question. "I don't think he handled the alcohol he consumed all night very well." In other words, he was drunk. Peeta didn't have the constitution to drink alcohol like most people. He got drunk quickly. Worried I headed to the guest bathroom located on the first floor. I avoided the rest of Bron's friends as I gawked and made lewd comments as I passed the room where his guests continued to watch their 'show.'_

"_Peeta," I called out to him as I knocked on the door. "It's me Katniss. Haymitch said you've been in there for a while. Are you okay?" It was quiet behind the door. "Peeta?"_

"_Honey, I'm hoooommmmme," he sing-songed as he stumbled out of the bathroom causing him to almost land on the floor. I narrowly caught him as I wrapped my arms around his waist. "Why is the room spinning?" I smiled then laughed as I noticed his attire. His necktie was loose and shirt unbuttoned. His apparent disheveled look didn't alarm me. It was the troubled look that was on his face that worried me._

_I placed a firm arm around his waist and led him back to the party. "Haymitch, Peeta's done for the night. I'm taking him home," I stated brooking no argument._

"_But the party's no to over yet" Haymitch started. Johanna sat on Alec's lap as he continued to play poker whispering in his ear to distract him._

"_It is for Peeta," I said._

"_You guys call this a stag party?" Johanna challenged Haymitch. "Where are the naked strippers for Bron? It's his last few days as single man."_

"_Watch it young lady, there's time for me to one phone call to remedy that matter," Haymitch threatened. "I'm only doing as Bron and Peeta suggested…no strippers or naked women at his stag party. Bunch of killjoys," he rambled under his breath._

"_Oh, please don't challenge Haymitch, Johanna," Bron said in panicked tone. "Delly kill me if we…I mean, no strippers, okay? I want to live through my wedding in one piece and no injuries to my body. I want to enjoy my honeymoon with my limbs intact."_

"_I'm just teasing guys," she said as picked out a card for Alec. "Honey, you really suck at poker." He nodded in agreement as he lost his hand to Haymitch._

"_Have fun, I'm taking him home," I said as I led home out of Bron's house. _

_A few minutes later, we arrived at home. "Is Peeta okay?" Kara asked._

"_He had too much to drink. You know that he doesn't have high tolerance for alcohol," I reminded her._

"_Well, I have an early shift so I'll be heading out," Kara stated. "Thank you for inviting me for dinner."_

"_You're welcome, Kara," I said. "You are always welcome in our home." She hugged me good-bye and left._

"_Since Johanna decided to crash their party, I don't see any reason why I can't join them," Effie announced. I cringed at the idea as I remembered the other guests watching porn in the other room. She would not be pleased with Haymitch for allowing it._

"_Well, I'm going home since it is my home they're having the party at. They can't stop me," Delly declared as she pushed the carriage out of my house. Relieved that everyone had left, I gingerly dropped Peeta on the sofa._

_He looked sad so I asked him what was wrong. "Peeta honey, are you okay?" He nodded his head and hummed back his answer. "Then why do you look so sad?"_

"_I'm really happy that Bron and Delly are getting married," he admitted._

"_But…" I waited for him to complete his thought. After living and loving Peeta for two years, I knew him well enough to know when something bothered him. We were alike in that aspect._

_He sighed and looked at the floor in front of him his hands clasped together. Like a magnet, he pulled me down to sit on his lap as he buried his face in crook my neck. I loved touchy, feely Peeta as we spent time cuddling or wrapped in each other's other arms while we listened to music or when we read to each other._

"_It's just…this evening…I was having fun with the guys when I suddenly...wished that my brothers were here to see me. They would never believe that I bagged the hottest girl in District 12." I smirked at his comment. Me, hot? Only in Peeta's eyes. "I miss them…I miss my brothers." _

'_Oh, Peeta.' a voice sounded in my head. I too miss my sister, Prim. "I'm really grateful that Bron and Alec are my friends, but I feel like I replaced them for my brothers. I know I shouldn't feel guilty but…I thought about them. I just really miss them."_

_I understood his guilt as my friendship flourished his Delly and Johanna. There were days that I felt guilty for feeling happy without my Primrose. Then, I remembered on days when I felt like crawling into a closet to forget about the world and the people around me. Haymitch reminded me that thousands of innocent people beside Prim died so we could have a better future. "Don't waste their sacrifice by wallowing in self pity, Katniss. She would be disappointed in you for deny the gift we were given."_

So each everyday I looked at my life with Peeta as gift that Prim left for us. I would never squander the life I had now. In essence I looked at the other gift granted to me––my family and friendship with Delly, Johanna and Effie who were like sisters to me.

"Just wait until she opens the gift I gave her," Johanna interrupted my thoughts again. She looked at me conspiratorially as she pointed to a bright purple box that Delly picked up from the table. "

"Who's this from?" Delly asked the crowd around her. "There's no card or tag." No one spoke as Johanna winked at me.

"Just open it," someone cried out.

"It's too pretty to open," another guest spoke out as wine sloshed out of her glass. Geez, these women were stupid drunk.

"Open it already," Effie said a bit of impatience in her demeanor.

Once the package was open Delly peered into the box not revealing the content, her face turned bright red and her eyes wide like saucers. "Oh my God," she gasped. "Johanna? This has to come from Johanna." Her baby blues went directly to her.

"What is it?" another of her friends asked.

Johanna laughed hard, her eyes crinkled with mischief. "Take it out of the box and share with the rest of the class," she instructed Delly. She shook her head violently.

"No," she shrieked. "No fucking way." I laughed to myself at Delly's colorful language. Since hanging our with Johanna Mason, Delly's language and vocabulary developed in a color manner much to Effie's chagrin.

"Delly dear, watch your language," Effie said as she pointed to her daughter.

"She's only one, Effie," she whined.

"Don't be mad, Effie," Johanna joined in the conversation. "She stinking drunk and having fun. And baby Rebecca has probably heard worse."

"Johanna, how did you…I mean how…" Delly stopped as she grabbed the box and turned into another shade of red.

"What's inside the box?" I asked as curiosity got the best of me. Delly shook her head.

"No. No one is going to see…this is personal…" she countered as she dramatically held the box to her chest.

"You should share," Johanna dared her. "I would. You're a very lucky girl, but not as lucky as Katniss." I still couldn't figure out what she got Delly. So I leaned over and whispered to Johanna.

"What's in the box?"

"A replicate of Bron's penis," she announced. _'What? How?'_ I wondered.

"I gave a kit to Bron a week ago to you know to replicate his cock when he goes on his trips to the Capitol and District 2," she explained. A year ago, Bron was appointed Head Guardsmen to District 12. Johanna had relinquished her duty and title of Commander to the Guardsmen soon after she got pregnant since it took her away from Alec and her home. It was temporary to begin with since Paylor took her time looking for a replacement. When she announced she was pregnant, President Paylor appointed some eager Guardsmen from District 2 and his first duty was implementing a Head Guardsmen for each district who had to report to the District 2 monthly. Hence Bron was away from his family 2-4 days a month.

"There's a molding kit you used to duplicate you man's penis," she explained.

"Why would you want to copy his…you know?" I asked. "Why would I want Peeta's… why would I make a fake one when I have the real thing with me every day." I couldn't understand the logic.

"Well, Ms. Everdeen," Johanna said. "When Delly is in the mood and Bron is not around, she can––" Everyone in the room giggled in delight and amusement. Me, I didn't find it funny making a duplicate of Peeta's penis when I had access to him anytime I wanted.

"Johanna, that's enough already," Effie interjected.

"What? I bet she gets lonely when Bron has to report for duty every month," she defended herself. I didn't have that problem since I spend every day with Peeta living and sleeping in our house. I wondered would I succumb to duplicating his penis if he had to travel once a month? The thought of him away chilled me. "If you want, I can get you a kit for Peeta." I opened my mouth to negate the idea.

"She doesn't need it," Delly announced. _'Damn right I don't,'_ the thought surfaced in my head_._ "Peeta doesn't go anywhere without Katniss."

"How sweet," one of her guests gushed.

"I wouldn't let him out of my sight either," another girl added.

"We should go out for another girl shopping day after my wedding. I think Katniss needs new lingerie for Peeta to rip off her," Johanna suggested.

I blushed as I remembered the last time Johanna and Delly took me shopping. Even after two years with Peeta, I didn't need to seduce him with sexy clothes or underwear. I'd wear a pair of black pants and his favorite color blouse and I'd find myself trapped between a wall and his solid body against mine. Nope, lingerie didn't do it for my boyfriend. I realized the purchase was worn once and I wasted money as it sat inside a closet never to be used again.

Delly continued to open her presents as she kept the gift Johanna had given her to herself. However, once the gifts were open Johanna leaned into me and whispered in my ear. "Between the three of us I have to say that you won the lottery." I gasped in horror and embarrassment. In my half buzzed state of consuming four glasses of wine, I shoved her playfully remembering that she was eight months pregnant as I hoped my face wasn't red as a beet. Just the talk of penises made me think of my boyfriend who was to arrive later.

I sighed in relief when all thoughts and talk of penises were replaced by a knock on her door. "Katniss, can you get that, please?" Delly ordered as she plucked her baby from one of her friends. "Does my baby girl need nappy change?" she said in playful manner.

I was happy to answer the door to get away from the group for a few seconds. What greeted me was my handsome boyfriend with Alec in tow as they both carried a large rectangular cake. "A delivery for a Miss Delilah Cartwright soon to be Delly Masters," he announced with a big smile on his face. "I hoped you girls are hungry?"

My face lit up at the sight of him as he wore a dark blue shirt that complimented his eyes and dark khakis that hung snugly around his pert butt. He was…breathtakingly gorgeous and…all mine.

"Oh, Peeta. Thank goodness," Effie said as she greeted them. "I thought you'd never get here." I was confused with her comment since I knew that Peeta was supposed deliver the cake this afternoon.

Both Johanna and I trailed behind our boyfriends as they entered the house placing the cake on the coffee table. I snickered as I caught several women ogling Peeta up and down at his lean and athletic form.

'_Mine,'_ my mind shouted. _'Touch him and you'll feel an arrow between your eyes.' _It took several months for him to regain his weight and develop muscles that he lost during his time at the Capitol. Looking at him as he served cake to Delly I realized that he was the Peeta I remembered before he games and this torture. His hair was thick and silky to touch. The lost and haunted look he had from his experience would surface but not linger. He fought so hard and so long to be who he was before the games and his abduction––the Boy with the Bread that saved and loved me despite not receiving anything in return.

"Peeta, oh my God," Delly shrieked with joy. "That's the most beautiful cake I've ever seen." The cake was pink and decorated with white and pale yellow Delilah flowers. It reminded me of the cake he created two years ago at the baking contest where Peeta met Alec. On the cake were written, _'To the future Mrs. Delly Masters. Love and Happiness'_

Not only was the cake beautiful it was delicious. Peeta really had outdone himself with the bridal shower cake. "Well, I'm glad you like and enjoyed it, Delly. I look forward to making and decorating your wedding cake as well." Every piece he had ever made was a masterpiece and with each new order he designed creations that were incredible and unforgettable.

Both Alec and Peeta lingered long enough to help clean up after. "I don't bake and run, you know. Besides, it gives me an excuse to hang out with you," he admitted as he and Alec served cake with coffee and tea to the rest of the guests as we enjoyed ourselves. Even Delly's friends were impressed with the service.

"You, Delly and Johanna are very lucky girls," one woman gushed. "You all have very fine specimens." She eyed Alec to my relief. Johanna wasn't happy as she ogled her man. Pleased that no one was eyeballing my Peeta, I turned to him and wrapped my arm around his waist as I watched the party dwindled.

"Thank you for coming and for my gift," Delly repeated to each of her friends as they departed an hour later.

"I'm sure Bron will appreciate it more than you will," her friend giggled. Before the last guest left she looked back at Peeta.

"The cake was beautiful and delicious, Peeta," she said to him right in front of me as she twirled her hair around her finger. _'Really? You're flirting when I'm right next to him,' _my mind sent to her. "I'll remember to order a cake for my birthday as I long as I know that you'll personally deliver it." Peeta ignored the last comment.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. Chocolate is Katniss' favorite color," he said as he leaned down and kissed my cheek. It was also Delly's but he made sure to let her friend know that it was his girlfriend's favorite flavor. You know the one that had an arm wrapped around his waist and kissed her check right in front of her. He was a perfect boyfriend.

Later, Peeta and Alec surprised us as Haymitch and Bron arrived for dinner stating that we had reservations at a new restaurant in town. The restaurant served the most tender and delicious steak I have ever eaten. We never dined in town preferring to stay home and cook together but since, they made reservations and we were dressed for the occasion, it was a treat for all of us.

Right after dinner I knew that something was up as Alec and Johanna kept making side-glances and whispering to each other. I wasn't the only one that noticed their odd behavior. "Okay, you two are driving me nuts," Haymitch observed. "What's going on?"

"Should we tell them?" Alec asked Johanna.

"I thought you wanted to wait until Bron and Delly came back from their honeymoon?" Johanna returned.

"Will you two please just get on with it and tell us your big secret?" Delly asked. "Becca needs to go home sooner than later." The restaurant was kind enough to reserve a private room for us so that she could bring her baby, as she lay fast asleep in her carriage.

Johanna and Alec stood up and held each other's hands. "Um…you tell them, Alec." He smiled and kissed her knuckles.

"Well, you guys remember when Johanna and I went home to visit my parents twp months ago?" I nodded my head. Johanna was reluctant to visit in fear of her reception and introduction with Alec's parents. I remembered the night before she left as she barged into our house looking scared and angry at the same time.

"_What if they don't' like me?" she asked. "I mean I know that I can be a bit abrasive and hot tempered."_

"_Johanna," Peeta started. "Why wouldn't they like you––"_

"_I'm not like those other girls Alec dated," she interrupted him. "I was victor who killed people. People still think that I'm a traitor who betrayed the rebels." She ranted for a few seconds listing her flaws and weaknesses._

"_Stop, Johanna," Peeta interjected. "Since when did other's people opinion mattered to you?"_

"_These are just not other people Peeta," she whined. "I'm meeting his family. His parents. I never thought that I'd meet my boyfriend's parents." I knew what she meant. She was convinced to be single and alone for the rest of her life. "I don't want to disappoint Alec." Peeta and I knew that she was serious. Her relationship with Alec changed her not because she was carrying his child, but she truly loved him. She wanted his parents to approve of her not just for her but also for him._

"_Just be your self," Peeta advised her. "The only person that matters, whose opinion matters is Alec. Why change for his parents when he fell for you the way you are?" Had Peeta's parents survived and lived, this was what I fought against, one of the things I was afraid to face––approval from his family especially his mother. But I should have known better. He would have fought for me, choosing me as he had always chosen me over everyone and everything. Two weeks later, Johanna came back happy and reserve like as if something changed her forever._

Peeta tugged my hand as I lost in my memories."Anyway, we didn't just visit my parents, we also stopped by District 7."

"You…oh my God. Johanna, you and Alec did it," Delly interrupted him. "Oh my god, please tell me you did it."

"Did what?" I asked.

"It was a spur of a moment decision," Johanna stated. "It happened so fast that the next thing we knew…we just did it."

"Oh for crying out loud, did what?" Haymitch asked with impatience.

"We got married," Johanna uttered. The room fell quiet as the news snuck upon us. I didn't think I heard her correctly until Peeta stood up and hugged her.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Delly asked in a low tone remembering that Rebecca was fast asleep.

"We didn't want to overshadow or ruin your wedding with our announcement. We really meant to announce it after you came back."

"Don't be an idiot. Congratulations," Bron said as he hugged both Johanna and Alec. Effie was in tears. "We're very happy for the both of you."

"I'm very happy for you but…" Effie said her voice shook.

"Effie, don't get mad," Johanna uttered. "We didn't want a big ceremony and I just wanted it to be private with just Alec and me. We didn't do it to hurt anyone's feelings."

"We just wanted to do it with just the two of us," Alec explained. "And it wasn't my idea to begin with." He had a proud look on his face as he turned to Johanna.

"Oh my God," Delly squealed as she lost control. Bron shushed her. "You proposed. You proposed to Alec after the numerous times, you avoided the topic."

"It just felt right. I took him to my favorite spot in District 7 and the next thing we knew, we were saying our vows and…it just felt like a perfect moment. Then, we went the Justice Building to make it legal at my district."

Haymitch laughed loud and boisterous. "Oh my God, you did the unthinkable and the impossible."

Johanna's eyes narrowed at him. "You tamed her. Who knew that a baker from District 10 would tame Johanna Mason?" I hid my smile behind my hand. It was true what Haymitch said but I wasn't about to admit to her. He did tame her wild and weary heart. She was very lucky––they both were.

After the announcement Haymitch ordered champagne and made a toast for Alec and Johanna. "To the Baylors, may you both have continued blessings and happiness with your growing family. We love you both. Congratulations." He stopped but couldn't help himself as he made a dig towards Johanna.

"And a special toast to Alec. You're a brave man or a foolish one. Good luck, you're going to need it." I felt happy for them. If anyone deserved to be happy it was Johanna.

I looked around the table and I dawned on me that Peeta and I were the only ones not married. The thought sadden me. Then I remembered the conversation we had a year ago. The trip that Peeta and I took to the woods hours after he returned from the hospital. The next morning after the night I rejected his proposal.

* * *

_**Flashback – One year prior**_

_I held onto Peeta's hand tight. I was afraid that if I let go I would lose him forever. It was an irrational feeling since I knew that he loved me unconditionally. Even after rejecting his proposal the night before, I was certain of his feelings for me as he knew about my feelings for him as well. He was the only one for me so why did I reject his marriage proposal? I panicked and got scared. I remembered when I was young that I swore never to fall in love and get married. Marriage meant babies, I didn't want children either. _

_I fell for Peeta reluctantly and fought hard not to. Now, with the Snow dead and there were no more games, there were no excuses not to want to marry him and have babies with him, but years of fear and denial was a hard habit to break. Just like Johanna I was convinced that I would live my life taking care of Prim, alone and single._

_It took an hour to reach the ridge. The place where Peeta like to go camping, the same place where he introduced me to talented hands and mouth. It was a special place for us, as I wanted to Peeta to have new and better memories to a place that he was certain he would never see again. Once we reached the ridge, we set camp. Our bodies in tuned as we set up the tent and prepared dinner side by side without a single word between us. It was painful and awkward not being able to broach the topic that caused a chasm between us._

_So I started, "I'm sorry." Peeta turned his head. "Please don't look away from me," I sobbed. "Please let me explain why I ran." He ignored my plea and looked down at the ground before him._

"_I don't think it's necessary for you to explain," he returned. "You running told me all I needed to know."_

"_Peeta," I sighed as I held my tears in check. I couldn't afford to cry. Once I started I couldn't stop. He deserved to know why I ran._

"_I should have known not to propose," he continued. "I mean I'm an idiot. Every time I brought up the topic of marriage and toasting you managed to avoid it. I'm so stupid. I just didn't want to believe that you didn't want to marry me."_

"_Peeta, stop. I love you; you know that. There is no one in the world for me but you but…"_

"_But?" He finally turned his head and looked at me. My heart broke as I saw the look in his face. He was devastated._

"_For the longest time, I told myself that I was never getting married. Marriage led to children. I never wanted to have children either." The more I talked the worse Peeta felt as his face crumpled at my confession. So I continued. "I never wanted to love anyone, to fall in love." He nodded his head because this he knew since I fought against my feelings for him._

"_I thought love made you feel weak and helpless. I saw it first hand when my dad died. How my mom gave up on Prim and I, like we didn't matter. I hated her for abandoning us mentally and physically." I became the only parent for Prim at a young age and I resented her for it. "Then you came along and tore my world apart."_

"_I'm sorry––"_

"_Don't apologize for loving me," I berated him. "Don't be sorry for making me see that loving someone didn't make you weak. I was the stupid one for believing it."_

"_You're not stupid. Don't put yourself down for having feeling like that," he said. "You didn't know; that's all."_

"_No, I was stupid and stubborn," I interjected. "I thank God everyday that you were stubborn as well because you never gave up on me."_

"_But I did––"_

"_No Peeta, you didn't," I enforced. "You stopped loving me because the Capitol brainwashed you. You never stopped loving me on purpose, it took a team of doctors and trackerjacker to make you forget me for a little while. And when you came back, you fought your way back to me."_

"_Kara said that my love for you could never be…no trackerjacker could make me forget you." I smiled. Kara was right because with time he did found his way back to me._

"_I love you, Peeta," I said my voice strong and clear. "Falling in love with you was not what I expected or wanted, but I did. I love you so much. More than anything or anyone in this world. But there is still a part of me that's scared to want more."_

"_What are you scared of?" He asked as he took my hand trembling hand into his strong one._

"_Everyone person that loved," I sighed as the weight in my chest felt heavier. "Has been taken from me. Dad, mom and Prim I loved them so much and I lost them."_

"_You'll never lose me," he swore._

"_You can't promise me that," I expressed. "I was falling for you when you were taken from me. I didn't handle it well when I thought you were dead. And, then I saw you alive it gave me hope. Only to be…you came back different. You didn't love me anymore because of the trackerjacker. I lost you all over again and it devastated me. Every time I let myself love you, you were taken from me."_

"_Yet, I'm still here with you. Loving you." he reaffirmed. I wanted him to hold me but I didn't have the right to ask since I broke his heart._

"_For how long? I'm scared to ask for more than what we have. I know it sounds illogical and stupid. I'm superstitious when it comes to you. So when you asked me to marry you last night everything I was scared of…surfaced."_

"_Oh, Katniss," he said as he reached over and finally took me into his arms._

"_When you came back I determined to have you in my life as a friend. To not demand more from you. Then," I stopped and closed my eyes to prevent the memories to overwhelm me. "You managed to make me want more than just friendship. I was being selfish wanting more than I deserved. When you didn't ask more than friendship from me, I was hurt. I was ready then to want more." I was babbling and I knew it. I hope that I was making sense since the words coming from my mouth didn't make any sense to me._

"_I couldn't afford to ruin your life anymore so decided that all I could ever be was your friend. I already took so much from you. It was my fault. I doomed you when I told Caesar you were the girl back home I had a crush on." He was sad believing that his admission destroyed my life. I didn't dispute the fact. His confession changed my life and world forever but not for the worse._

"_You're wrong," I told him. "You opened my world to…feeling and experiences that I would have never had with anyone but you. It was always you. I chose you because I love you. Me, not marrying you doesn't mean that I love you less."_

"_I understand, Katniss. There's no need to explain," he comforted me. I knew he would understand because he knew me––my fears and hope for a future together._

"_Just give me time," I asked. "You know I'm stubborn." I smiled hoping to bring light back into our conversation. "I'm slow to accepting things, you know that." And it took time for me to get there. Little did I realize that Peeta also made a decision that night. I never realized how much I hurt him when I refused his proposal since he never broached the topic ever again._

_**End of flashback ––**_

* * *

Since then, Peeta never talked about marriage. I hinted he evaded. I didn't bother me at first.

"Why the sour look, Katniss?" Johanna asked. Delly and Bron were at the table questioning Alec of his marriage to Johanna. Effie, Peeta and Haymitch sat besides them listening in earnest. It was a surprise for everyone.

"I just can't believe you're married," I admitted. "I don't meant that in a mean way. That you were not…that you didn't deserve…you know what I mean, Johanna." I was flustered as words escaped me.

"I know, Katniss," she snorted. "I couldn't believe it myself. I mean, we were there standing at this ridge with the valley below us…and all of a sudden I felt this weight lift from my shoulders. I know it sounds stupid."

"No, it's perfect. Incredible in fact," I affirmed. "You just felt something falling in to place at that moment."

"Yeah, and Alec was being sweet and adorable after I made him trek a whole four hours to get there and not complain," Johanna expressed. "He was so worried because of the baby. When I stood there with him beside me, I thought I would never want anyone there with me but him, only him. Then, the baby kicked me, you know. Like she or he was telling me something."

"Like what?"

"That he and I were family…that we belonged together," she said in a wistful manner. "At that moment I knew, I wanted him to be more than just my lover and the father of my baby. I wanted him as my friend, lover and husband." She patted her stomach. "Then the next thing I knew I was gathering flowers to make a crown. I didn't even know I was doing it until Alec asked me why I was making a crown for him and for me."

"What did you say?"

"For our vows," she narrated. "We're getting married right now and then and he had no choice but to say yes." She laughed at her memory.

"What did he do?"

"He said that since I'm forcing him to get married with District 7's ritual he had the right to force me to marry him with District 10 ritual as well."

"I'm really happy for you and Alec, Johanna," I said as I hugged her. "You two are meant to be together."

"Who'd a thought huh?" Johanna smirked as she looked at Alec. "He changed me. There is no one in the world I want than him and this baby." I smiled. Just as I turned to look at Alec, Peeta turned his head and caught my eye. I could tell he was very pleased for them as joy radiated from his face. "We're very lucky, Katniss. Lucky to have guys who love us for who were are, accepting all our faults and weaknesses." I silently agreed with her.

"So, you're the last," she mentioned.

I moaned in frustration. "I know, Johanna. I know."

"When are you going to get over yourself and marry that boy that loves you death?" Had someone asked me that a year ago I would have gotten angry and told them to mind their own business? But a year has passed. I was still scared of the idea of marrying Peeta. There were fears that I couldn't shake despite the fact that the games were abolished.

"I just…" What excuse can I use or tell her? There was none.

"I know you, Katniss," she started. "I know you're scared. I was scared too. For the longest time I didn't want to love anyone. Loving someone meant being responsibility for them. I didn't want that burden knowing that Snow would use them against me. I wasn't only protecting my heart I was protecting anyone who attached themselves to me." She sighed. "But I realized that was an excuse to keep people away…because i got used to people leaving me whether by choice or when Snow would…"

"You don't have to talk about this," I said. "This was supposed to be a happy occasion."

"Katniss, please listen," she interjected. "When I was falling for Alec I resented him, I hated how he made me feel. How he made me miss a lover's touch, not just sex but the feeling of connecting with someone in an intimate level. I missed that. I never thought I'd have it again."

She smiled as she looked at Alec. "Meeting him changed me and I have Peeta to thank for that." Little did we realized that Peeta making Alec his business partner would turn change Johanna's life forever. "So I'm going to do you and him a favor––a push so to speak. Do you remember when he petitioned to live in District 7?"

I nodded my head. Peeta confessed that he gave up on love and wanted to live in District 7. He was convinced that I could never love him. "Well, his petition was accepted and he became a citizen." I didn't know what she was talking about so I let her go on. "So as a citizen of 7 he is bound by the laws and traditions there, you understand?" I shook my head.

"What does he becoming a citizen have to do with––"

"Just let me finish. As a citizen of 12, you have traditions and rituals that are binding to you, like say you're toasting when you want marry someone." The toasting was a tradition between a two people to bound them together as husband and wife. It wasn't legal but it was a ritual that was binding as a piece a paper signed in the Justice Building.

"So," she continued. "Do you remember the day when you and Peeta came back from the woods wearing a crown of flowers on your head." I nodded remembering that day. "Well, at District 7, a couple would weave a crown of flowers and wear them on their head, vows would be spoken and they would etch their names on a tree as symbol of their devotion to each other. It's a ritual like your toasting except it takes place out outdoors. Sounds familiar?" My mouth fell open as I remembered placing a crown of flowers he weaved on our heads then etched our initials on a tree.

"Did Peeta have any idea what he was doing?"

"No, you got to remember that he hasn't lived in 7 yet so he couldn't have known what he was doing?"

"I thought it was just Peeta being romantic," I said out loud. "He didn't even know what he was doing but performing a wedding ceremony."

"He was unintentionally. And it's binding and real since he is technically a District 7 citizen, you are officially and by District 7 tradition––"

"Married. I'm married to Peeta." I was flabbergasted with the revelation.

"So you're fear of getting married is pointless since you know, you've been married to him by District 7 ritual for about two years now." She was right. "Do you feel any different now that you know?" I didn't feel any different. The thought of being his wife as I have been for the past two years didn't scare me. By District 7 tradition, I'm Katniss Mellark and have been for some time. "What are going to do, Katniss?" she asked me. I knew what I wanted to do. It was a matter of what I wanted to say to Peeta that flustered me.

That night I couldn't sleep. I watched Peeta as he lay beside me. He was my best friend, my lover and my husband. Husband, the word rolled in my head so easily. The thought made me giddy with pride and joy. Now it was a matter of convincing him that I wanted to be his wife for real and by District 12 tradition. I wanted to marry and have a toasting with him.

* * *

**Peeta POV ––**

I knew something was up. On the night of Alec and Johanna's announcement, she and Katniss had been giving me conspiratorial looks as if they had a secret they couldn't divulge. It must a girl thing since Katniss never mentioned a word about it when I asked what they were talking about. Since then, I caught Effie, Delly and Johanna staring at me at odd times. I tried to worry about it but Katniss had been acting strange every time I asked her what was wrong.

Two days later, the girls went on a 'shopping and beauty day.' At first it didn't bother me but the fact that Katniss was excited about it made me suspicious. They were up to something. Even the guys were acting odd.

"Haymitch, do you have any idea what's going on?" I asked my trusted former mentor and friend.

"What do you mean?" he answered back as he visited me at the bakery.

"Katniss has been…acting really strange since Alec and Johanna's announcement."

"Like how?"

"Ordinarily, if Delly or Johanna even suggested a day of shopping she would balk at the idea. Find any excuse not to go, but today, she was actually excited about it."

"Maybe your wif…girlfriend wanted a day for herself. You know, to make herself pretty for you," he explained. I scoffed. Katniss didn't need new clothes or a day at a spa to make her beautiful. She was beautiful regardless what she wore.

"Peeta, you can't be selfish and want her with you all the time, you know," Haymitch stated. "You're not attached to the hip despite what you think, you need to separate once in a while." We do?

"You're hopeless, you know that?" Haymitch added. I didn't understand what he meant.

I passed the day as usual as I worked at the bakery until closing time. I missed lunch with Katniss since she spent it with the girls. Alec called in sick which made my day extremely busy and tiring even though I hired another person to manage the register at the storefront. All I wanted to do was go home and have dinner with my girl who I was missing desperately.

"Hey, Peeta," Bron arrived just as I was about to close the bakery as he carried a large bag in his arms.

"Bron, what's up? You need something?" I said as I latched the lock on the door. I noticed that he wore a nice pair of slacks and shirt not his Guardsmen uniform he wore for work everyday.

"Yeah, um…Haymitch got a call from President Paylor," he started. "Her office called and said that she can't make it to wedding after all." Paylor was invited since she was Bron's boss so to speak. It would have been rude not to invite the boss when one was having a wedding. "But she said that she would be free tonight for dinner with all of us."

"Tonight, you mean she's here in District 12 for dinner?" He nodded his head.

"Yeah, crazy right? So I couldn't just say 'sorry but we're busy so'…Haymitch was able get reservations at a restaurant for the night. So Katniss told me to bring you some clothes. She said to pick her up once you're dressed since dinner is about in half an hour from now." The whole thing didn't make sense to me but I was tired and missing Katniss so I didn't argue with him as I took a quick shower and wore the clothes Bron brought over.

I wasn't looking forward to having dinner with Paylor. All day all I thought about going home, have a nice quiet dinner and spent the rest of the evening with Katniss. But since this was for Bron and Delly I couldn't refuse especially to the President of Panem.

The walk back to the Victor's Village was short. I opened the door and called out for Katniss. "Katniss, are you ready?" Inside my home was Haymitch, Effie, Delly, Alec and Johanna dressed in their best clothes. Everyone had a big shit-eating grin on their face. It was unsettling as Effie looked like she was about to cry. Their presence at our home startled me.

In front of them she stood dressed in dark orange dressed that flattered her curves. "Welcome home, Peeta," she said as grabbed my hand and led me further into our home. I noticed the dining table was set with food and drink. Behind them was Kara, Sae and Tamryn wearing her favorite dress. They too were smiling. Everyone I loved was there. The gathering didn't bode well for me. Something was definitely wrong.

"What's going on?" I asked. Katniss looked scared and nervous. "Katniss?"

"Peeta," she started as she extended her trembling hand to me.

"Katniss, what's everyone doing here?"

"Peeta, I love you." I smiled as her words calmed me.

"I love you too."

Effie sniffled and Delly sobbed. Haymitch snickered.

"I love you so much. A year ago I made a mistake. A mistake I'm trying to rectify." I thought back to a year ago. I couldn't fathom what she was referring to. I was too surprised and tired to think back to a year ago. "So with the help from our family and friend to be witnesses as well as for support and encouragement, I…um…Peeta Mellark," she said as she took a deep breath. "I love you so much. Will you do me the honor of making me the happiest girl in all of Panem by marrying me today, right now at this moment?"

I was stunned as I blinked a few times. "Will you toast with me in front of our friends and family?" Did I hear her correctly that she wanted to marry me? A toasting right now as of this evening with a girl I loved since I was five? I thought I died and gone to heaven because this dream was too good to be true.

"Peeta? Say something," she said with nervousness and fear in her voice. I was stunned, speechless as words failed me.

"He's in shock, Katniss," Johanna teased her. I looked into her eyes and I saw my past. What reflected in her silver orbs was a boy who threw bread at a girl sitting in the rain. I saw a boy and a girl reaped at the 74th Hunger Games and then I saw a little boy with curly blond hair and a dark haired girl running in a meadow. As stared deeper into her eye I saw our future.

Words weren't enough so I kissed her. Everyone faded in the background as I only saw Katniss before me hoping she felt my answer.

"Ahem," Haymitch sounded as I lost myself with Katniss' kisses. "You know, you two can continue to do that to your heart's content once you finish your toasting." Katniss blushed a deep red while I laughed. My heart was full for there were no words to describe how I felt at this moment.

A few minutes later, Katniss and I knelt in front of the fire with bread that Alec made that morning. This was the reason why he was absent at the bakery. He baked my toasting bread for Katniss and me.

"It's the least I could do since you bought Johanna in to my life," he explained. "Thanks for that. I could never repay for introducing her to me."

"You caught and married her on your own with no help from me, Alec," I told him. He disagreed. I was too happy to argue with him.

I split the bread in two and speared one half with a stick. Katniss mimicked my actions as she speared hers as well. Before I placed my bread over the fire I took Katniss free hand into mine.

"I love you," I started. "You don't know what it means to me for making this moment a reality. As I young boy, I imagined our toasting. I dreamt and fantasized about it not believing that it would ever come true because I wasn't that lucky. Thank you for having the courage to ask me because I know how much this moment scares you. You're the bravest and most honest person I have ever known. I love you courage, your strength but most of all I love your trust in me to be who you are without reservation. You make me want to be a better man. A man proud to be your best friend, your lover and soon your husband. Thank you for giving me you. I promise to protect, honor and love you for the rest of my life. These are my vows to you for as long as we both shall live." There was more that I wanted to say but I held them back because they were private and personal words that only Katniss should hear.

"I love you, Peeta," she said as her tears streamed down her cheeks. "I can honestly admit that I had never thought I would ever love anyone the way I love you. For the longest time, doing this––a toasting was something I never imagined I would ever do with anyone especially to the blond hair and blue eye boy who saved me that one rainy day. And you did that, Peeta. You saved me in more ways I have ever imagined. At this moment in front of our friend and family, I confess that I'm not scared anymore. Since meeting you, you have given me strength, courage and love. Qualities that made me a better person, to become the wife who will protect, honor and love you for the rest of my life. These are my vows to you for as long as we both shall live."

Simultaneously, we dipped our sticks into the fire toasting the bread until it was crispy brown careful to not burn it. We waited a minute for the bread to cool then we fed each other taking a small bite as symbol of our life together as we provided nourishment and love to each other. Then, without hesitation Katniss launched herself and kissed me causing us to land on the floor. We giggled and laughed between kisses not caring at the world around us.

After a few minutes, I picked us up off the floor with a very light and happy heart. Our family and friends joined in our joy and celebration as hugs and kisses were bestowed upon us. We were overwhelmed with tears of joy and happiness as my dream of having Katniss as my wife were finally realized.

As I held my wife in arms I recalled the days soon after I arrived from the Capitol. They were the bleakest and loneliest weeks of my life as I thought that my chances with her were truly over.

Now two years later, she is now my wife and the love of my life. I gave thanks for those who supported us as they traveled the same journey of pain, despair and horror that I endured and for also experiencing and sharing our joy and happiness as well. Katniss and I would not have survived without them. I am truly very lucky and fortunate man to have them in my life as I looked forward to years ahead of us as Peeta and Katniss Mellark, the hunter and baker from District 12.

The End.

* * *

_**AN: Thanks to my readers who requested and waited patiently for another epilogue. I hope you enjoyed it. I also want to thank those who followed me in reading Destiny, another Everlark fiction that is now in progress. Have a great and safe weekend.**_


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